


Simpatico Series

by Roo_Bastmoon



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Multiple, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-23 07:14:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 246,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/923453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roo_Bastmoon/pseuds/Roo_Bastmoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Jack goes into cryo, Daniel reads Jack's old journal, which chronicles the beginning of their complicated relationship. (Slash minutes of every episode of seasons 1 and 2.)<br/><i></i><br/>Simpatico — harmony of or agreement in feeling, as between two persons, or on the part of one person with respect to another. The ability to share the feelings of another, especially in sorrow or trouble. Compassion. Commiseration. Synergy.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Porta de Stellaris

**Author's Note:**

> The Simpatico Series cover the "slash minutes" of seasons 1 and 2 of SG-1.
> 
> Prima Arch (Simpatico) covers season 1 and the gradual shift from an unlikely friendship to a passionate liaison.
> 
> Dua Arch (Bolero) covers season 2 and the exploration of the sexual relationship (and sometimes lack thereof) between Jack and Daniel, and how it impacts their friendship.

**1\. Porta de Stellaris**

 

 

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=000Stargate.jpg)

_"Aveo... amacuse."_

 

 

It happened so gradually. Quietly. Inevitably. 

He couldn't pinpoint the precise moment when Jack O'Neill became the pivotal axis in his universe, but as the frosty sheen of the Ancient cryogenic device encased the older man, the sickening twist of sudden realization struck Daniel...

He was still in love with Jack. 

And now, he might never have the chance to tell him...

Daniel sighed, shifting his weight uncomfortably as he ran his fingertips over the books on the oak shelves in Jack's house. There was something comforting about touching anything—everything—in this place. 

The house still smelled of Jack—of sandalwood and spicy soap and something that was simply Jack. His presence didn't linger so much as reside. Daniel had not slept in his own apartment since the day that Jack had been frozen. He stayed in Jack's house, and took care of Jack's things, and kept the home fires burning. Because Jack would come back. Jack had to come back. 

At night, he wandered around restlessly, picking up things that he had once seen in Jack's hands, when he used to come over, when he used to be invited over, when things were warm and easy and so new. He picked these random objects up—a hockey stick, a chess piece, a _National Geographic_ , and each time, he felt empty, because all he really wanted to hold onto was Jack. 

He paused as his forefinger traced over the rigid spine of an unusual book. A leather- bound journal. Definitely uncharacteristic of Jack. Daniel pulled it from the shelf, at once intrigued by the quality of the paper—so thin and delicate, but perfectly preserved. Flipping carefully to the first page, he felt shocked to see the entire text was written in Ancient. 

In Jack's handwriting. 

_To Daniel..._

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

**8000 B.C.**  
The quiet night floods with noise and light. A Goa'uld mothership lands on the North African Desert. Ra takes a beautiful young boy as his host. 

Egyptians are herded through the gate, like cattle, to settle on a distant world. 

There is an uprising. Ra is overthrown, his gate to the heavens is buried deep in the Earth, and for a long time, the world sleeps. 

But events have already been set in motion. 

**1928 A** **.D.**  
Dr. Langford strolls over the dunes in Giza, Egypt. The bright ring is uncovered, ages of dust and debris sifting to the Earth as the gate is lifted into position. His daughter Catherine pockets the eye of Ra, and again, an arc of fate shifts in a new direction. 

 

 

**1997 A** **.D.**  
In a lecture room at the New York Conference Hall, Dr. Daniel Jackson gives a presentation on the Old Kingdom of the Fourth Dynasty. He defends the notion that the pyramids were never built by the Egyptians. He has nothing but carbon dating, a study of glyphs, and a gut feeling as his evidence. He is brave, and he is right. 

But no one listens. In fact, they laugh. It stings and Daniel can feel his credibility swirl down the academic drain. 

Catherine beckons him from out of the rain and into a cab. "You've just been evicted from your apartment. Your grants have run out. Everything you own is in those two bags." Catherine hands Daniel his travel plans. 

Shivering, wet, hungry, and more than a little curious, Daniel Jackson makes a decision. 

Far away, Jack O'Neill sits in Charlie's room, hunched over on Charlie's bed, stroking the gun that took Charlie's life. 

The last thread tethering his heart in place is frayed and stressed, about to snap, when he feels an odd shiver down his spine, an unfamiliar pulse, a sense of anticipation. Like the pull of a river towards the sea.... 

Airmen knock on the door. He hears them say his name. 

He thinks about the suicide mission they offer him, and wonders if saving the world will be enough to redeem his failure to save his only son. 

He does not believe so. But hope is hard to kill. Jack O'Neill makes a decision. 

 

 

 

**Stargate Command**  
Daniel Jackson walks down the dark halls of the lonely missile silo. The doors open, revealing a room to which he has previously been denied access. He looks at the broken cover stone and strokes his hands over it—needs to touch, has to touch, for it to be real. 

"This has to be over five thousand years old," he murmurs. 

"My report says ten thousand," O'Neill challenges. 

Daniel snaps around and sees Jack for the first time. Takes in the piercing brown eyes, the edge and raw force about the man. He gapes. He blinks. He thinks—feels—like everything had been leading up to this point. 

And then the man turns his back and walks away. 

Two weeks later, Daniel goes to fill a pot of coffee, glances at a newspaper, and finds what he's been missing. Excited, flushed, filled with a sense of wonder, he rushes to his office and asks General West to call a meeting...

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

_The first thing I remember about you, Daniel, was your shy, nervous laugh. That initial briefing, the one where you passed out star maps and constellation clippings and held on to your legal pad so tightly that your knuckles must have ached from the lack of blood, you laughed, and babbled and fidgeted... and I wanted to kill you._

_There you were, brilliant, young, vibrant... and flying by the seat of your pants. Even then, even in those first moments, I took your measure instantly. You couldn't hide from me, not behind those patchwork glasses, not behind that wan smile. Recently, you've been trying to hide from me again, behind your books and your busy schedule and... the distance hurts._

_But I suppose I deserve it._

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

General West stares at Daniel with something akin to awe. 

Daniel knows he's babbling, eager to have an audience, eager to prove he's right. "But you can get them home?" West demands, and Daniel knows everything rides on the answer to this question. 

"I'm positive." 

Jack huffs out a thick breath of smoke and flays him with an icy stare. "He's full of shit," he says to West, and walks away. 

And Jack is right. On Abydos, Daniel has no cartouche to go by, no way of knowing how to dial home. 

Kawalski starts screaming at him, pushing him down hard, and Daniel just flops on his back, rolls, accepts it. He's long since learned that if you fight back, they only come at you harder. 

But then Jack gets between them, holding Kawalski back, standing between Daniel and the fury of his men. And Daniel can see Jack's own rage echoed in his taut features, but Jack holds himself in check, plays the good leader, and keeps a firm command. Daniel secretly admires this. 

Daniel also admires his tenacity, as Jack chases him over dune after soft, grainy dune— something resembling a hairy cow dragging Daniel far into the desert. 

Daniel aches and Daniel sweats and Daniel just wants to go home, to whatever hole he's going to call home these days, but all that is forgotten when he comes upon the Naquadah mining settlement. 

 

 

 

 

Skaara comes forward. Jack shakes his hand. Daniel smiles at this wary attempt at friendly relations. Unfortunately, Skaara runs away, screaming. 

A sandstorm approaches. Daniel writes in his journal. He fears he's never going to get paid. He fears a lot more than that, but putting it down in words would give it power. 

That night, they eat with the villagers—some sort of exotic lizard. Daniel smirks at the expression on Jack's face. 

"It tastes like chicken." He starts clucking, doing his best to imitate, to boil language down to the basics, to make a connection. 

Jack stares at him, a sudden warmth flickering in his eyes. A twinkle, betraying a sense of humor. Kindness. It fades away. Daniel feels cold. 

 

 

 

 

Later, when all is quiet, Daniel sits in a canvas tent with Sha're, who smells like sweet- water and reminds him of the black kohl that Egyptian women once used to line their eyes. Sha're is like a burst of citrus on the tongue of a man who has only known the taste of sand and wind and bitter regrets. 

She takes off her dress, her soft skin like caramel and cream, and he does the only thing he can think to do, which is to pull her robes back on. But refusing her is condemning her, so he wraps his arms around her, and smiles at Kasuf, and writes in the dust at her feet. 

Her face shines so bravely when she completes the symbol for Earth. And he knows then, that he loves her. 

 

 

 

 

Jack smokes and stares into nothingness, doing his best to tamp down on all the wild urges prickling at him since Jackson got them all into this mess. It doesn't work. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he notices the boy watching him, imitating him. He gives the kid his lighter, and smiles. There's a connection there he doesn't quite know how to place. He lets the kid have a cigarette, watches him choke and sputter, and realizes he might come to love this brave boy. 

 

 

But then Skaara picks up his gun, and Jack is on his feet in a flash, his voice like glass scraped over gravel, cutting and angry and so afraid, he must reek with fear. Skaara bolts, and Jack tries to explain that the gun is dangerous, but the truth is, _he_ is dangerous, and it's better to be left alone. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

_The second thing I remember about you is the passion in your eyes, when we were in that hidden chamber, and you deciphered the story of the people of Abydos._

_I remember your voice, breathless and clear: "Fearful of another rebellion here, Ra outlawed reading and writing. He didn't want the people to remember the truth."_

_You were thrumming with it, Daniel, so turned on you were shaking and gulping and incredibly happy. Your enthusiasm is always brimming over on every mission, but whenever you discover something really fascinating, your excitement hits me like a battering ram. You are an elemental force, Dr. Jackson. I want you to know that I see that._

_I want you to know that I'm grateful for that, because even as I write this, you are desperately poring over translations, trying to figure out a way to get this Ancient crap out of my head, to make some sense of it, to bring me back. You always bring me back from the abyss._

_And even if you fail this time, I appreciate the gesture. The tenacity. The fire. Daniel? You have never let me down..._

~*~

 

 

 

 

**Abydos**  
Ra's ship lands, and Daniel sticks close to Jack on pure instinct alone. It is fortunate, because moments later, Jack pushes him out of range of a staff blast, forcing him to the ground, half-covering him with his body, a shield against the danger. 

Jack tells Daniel to put down his gun, to surrender to the Jaffa, and Daniel follows his lead, again, on instinct. Jack's muscles are bunched and tense under his black cotton shirt, and Daniel wonders if he's in any pain. Or is it worry? 

Daniel wonders if Jack would ever tell him, if it was either. 

Jack's talking, trying to steal Ra's attention away from Daniel. 

And suddenly Daniel knows that, while everything around him is chaotic and uncertain and overwhelming, Jack is constant. Jack is Jack. 

 

 

 

 

Jack is going to set the bomb, and blow himself up with it. And Daniel tries, and tries again, to make him see reason, to help him find another way. But Jack only shakes his head and grimly smiles at his idealism. 

He doesn't take Daniel seriously, until Daniel takes a staff blast right in the chest while attempting to save his life. 

And Jack doesn't want that. Doesn't want the responsibility, the burden, the slick, hot guilt. Doesn't want Jackson to make any grand heroic gestures, because that's his job, that's his redemption, and damn it, of all the people to survive this mission, Jackson is the one that should be going home! 

But just like hope, Daniel is hard to kill. Jack and his team await execution in the public forum below the pyramid, and there, Daniel strolls out, alive and armed with a staff weapon and ordered to kill them all. 

Jack and Daniel share a long look. They can't read each other's thoughts; they're not close; not the way Jack and Kawalski are close, not the way Daniel and Catherine are close. Jack can't be sure what Daniel is going to do. But he is certain of what Daniel is _feeling_ as sure as if the emotions were his own. Jack looks into Daniel's eyes and he just _knows._

Daniel turns, aims, and shoots at Ra. 

Jack begrudgingly admires his gall. 

After the ensuing chaos, Daniel gets up in his face, daring him to come clean. "Why don't you tell them everything? Why don't you tell them about the bomb?" 

"Colonel?" Kawalski asks, concerned. 

 

 

 

 

Later, Daniel shakes his head. "You had accepted the fact that no matter what happened, you would never be going home. Don't you have people who care about you? Don't you have a family?" 

Jack keeps his face slack, barely avoids wincing. "No one should have to outlive their own child." 

Then Daniel's eyes go wide with comprehension, and something not quite pity, but more like sorrow on his behalf, and Jack doesn't want to take it, doesn't want what Daniel's gaze is offering, but he's tired, and he's got a war to fight, a battle to win, a bomb to set, and then he'll never see Jackson again, so what will it matter if he lets the man in a little bit? Come inside, walk around, stay awhile, Dr. Jackson. If you think you can handle it. 

 

 

 

 

Skaara brings Jack a drink, one he needs desperately. It would be so easy...

 

 

 

 

Sha're tells Daniel that she did not reveal to her tribe that he doesn't want her. Daniel does want her. He needs her desperately. It would be so easy...

 

 

He cups her face and kisses her. 

 

 

 

 

The next day, in the bowels of the pyramid, the Jaffa hunt them down. The bomb's timer ticks the seconds away. 

Sha're is shot, and Daniel feels like his hands are an hour glass, and she is the sand, and she's slipping through his fingers, and there has to be another way. 

He carries her lifeless body to the transport rings. 

"Jackson!" Jack bellows. "What are you _doing_?"

Daniel pleads with his eyes. "Wait for me?" 

 

 

 

 

Jack waits. He's got nothing to do but wait. They're going to live, or they're going to die, but they were going to do it together. Jack can wait. As long as it takes. 

Ra's ship reaches orbit and Daniel returns through the rings. They look at the bomb; then look at each other—

"I've got an idea," they both say, finally on the same wavelength. 

 

 

 

 

The rebellion is now fully underway. Jack sends the bomb through the transport rings. Ra's ship explodes in the sky, a blinding burst of fire—the first taste of freedom, of renewal, for everyone below. 

Skaara salutes Jack, and Jack knows that, given any more time on this planet, he would definitely grow to love him. Innocence has always been a major attraction for him, his downfall. It's what he loved about Charlie and what he longs for in himself. 

"You sure you want to do this?" he asks Jackson. He doesn't like leaving anyone behind. Least of all this man. "You gonna be all right?" 

Daniel smiles. "I think so. How about you?" 

Jack is touched by that. That Daniel would honestly worry about him. They shake hands, and Jack thinks that if Daniel were one of his men, he would have hugged him, and after all they'd been through, it wouldn't have been awkward. 

Daniel gives him Catherine's necklace, and Jack's fingers slide over the smooth disc in an unconscious effort to avoid touching the man again. 

"I'll be seeing you around... Dr. Jackson." 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel stroked his forefinger down the journal's margin. Memories of that first mission, of Jack's voice in his head, as he read the words, of everything in the years that stretched before them like tangled cords, made him smile. The smile was both bitter and sweet. 

He moved to the couch, the couch that still smelled faintly of sex and Jack, sagging down into the comfortable cushions, and turned the page. 

The next entry was much later, and the handwriting, jagged, as if Jack had been trembling at the time. 

It couldn't be he wrote all this during the second episode with the Ancient data device...? 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

_Daniel, if I'm going to get this right, I'm going to have to start at the beginning. And, I'm going to have to be really, really honest. About everything._

_I'm shit-scared. You probably already know that._

_If I know you at all, and I think by now I do, I'm sure you can handle it._

_Danny. I don't think I'm coming back from this one. No matter what else, you have to know... you have to know that... it's you, Daniel._

_It's always been you._

 


	2. Liberium de Deus

**2\. Liberium de Deus**

 

 

Jack hunches over the telescope, his black leather jacket doing nothing to keep the chill of autumn off the back of his neck. It's a clear night and if he looks hard, he can almost see Abydos. Or so he tells himself. 

He's been coming up here every night for over six months now. Even in the rain, he'll sit here getting wet, aching for something he doesn't understand. He looks at the stars and doesn't realize he's looking for Daniel. 

An airman in his smart dress blues climbs the ladder and tells him he has to come right away, that it's something important, something to do with the Stargate. 

Jack isn't as surprised as he should be. Deep in his guts, he knew this whole thing was far, far from over. But his heart pounds, because, if it's something to do with the Stargate, chances are it's something to do with Daniel. 

He walks in, cool as ice, and sees Kawalski and Ferretti getting questioned. Jack cranes to peer at them through the glass. Kawalski lets him know, with one look, that they aren't telling anyone shit. 

Jack tries to lie, he's very good at lying, and he keeps his game face on the whole time he tells General Hammond about setting off the bomb. But Hammond calls his bluff and starts to send a second one. 

And he sees the court martial and the jail time looming in front of him, but it's really like holding a candle up to a forest fire. All he has to think about is Daniel, with his beautiful Sha're, and Skaara, all so innocent and unaware and unprotected on that desert planet, and it's no contest. 

"General," he says, clearing his throat. Time to come clean. 

The way Hammond smiles at him, Jack realizes the man knew all along. 

 

 

 

 

Round two. 

"Daniel was a scientist. He sneezed a lot. Basically he was a bit of geek, sir." 

Colonel Samuels squeezes forward. "So you didn't have a lot of time for him?" 

This pisses Jack off. So much. "I didn't say that. He also saved my life, and the lives of men, and got us home. A little something like that makes a person grow on you." 

 

 

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=001ChildrenoftheGods-Jack.jpg)

 

 

He shares a look with Hammond, they reach an understanding, and Jack is allowed to make contact. 

He knows just what to send. Kleenex. Daniel will get it. Daniel was quick like that. 

Kawalski flounces in, and there are handshakes and back-slaps and hugs, and he tells Jack about how he refused to rat him out, and Jack didn't even question it, it didn't need to be said, but he appreciates it all the same. This is the warrior bond. This is something he couldn't share with anyone other than his men, his team. There was Jack's team, and there was everyone else in the whole wide world. 

 

 

 

 

Daniel sits by the gate, surrounded by his tribe, by life and bustle and activity, and then the gate comes on, and he's left floating adrift, unable to feel his limbs. 

The event horizon whooshes forward and there's the distant buzz and murmur of the people around him, but all Daniel can think of is Earth, of home, and of...

A Kleenex box hurdles through. 

Daniel smiles. 

"Jack." 

 

 

 

 

The box comes sailing back into the embarkation room, and Jack dusts off the ice chips. _Thanks. Send more._

"It's Daniel, sir," he says confidently. A tiny grin breaks out. 

 

 

 

 

Captain Samantha Carter sizes up Jack like they're going to be thrown in the pen together and forced to fight to the death at any given moment. She's spunky and defensive and far, far too tightly strung, but he likes her, because she's got guts and she can look him in the eye. Most of his men can't even do that. 

She makes a lot of speeches about working on the Stargate for two years, and theoretical astrophysics, and something about reproductive organs, but Jack's already tuned her out. 

"I don't have a problem with the fact that you're a woman, Captain." He sneers. "I _like_ women. I just have a problem with scientists." 

Jack picks up the gauntlet and feels a strange crackle of energy at the base of his spine. He can work with her, because he likes her already, but he'll be damned if he'll let on. 

Except maybe when he pushes her affectionately through the Stargate. 

 

 

 

 

Daniel waits at the base of the stairs, his soft brown and tan robes swathed protectively around him. Even after a year of marriage, he's still uncomfortable with his body. Jack looks past him, doesn't want to make a big deal out of it, but he's glad Daniel is there. 

"Cha'hari. Cha'hari," Daniel had said, his voice soft but commanding. The people calmed down. Now he stands before Jack. "Hello, Jack. Welcome back." 

So many things go through Jack's mind at that moment. Daniel calling him by his first name. Daniel's voice, very warm and kind. The way the Abydonians look to him automatically, as some sort of leader. The way Daniel stares at him right now. 

He shoulders by Daniel in a fierce attempt at nonchalance and goes straight to Skaara. He hugs the crap out of the boy, making Daniel wait, and wait...

"Daniel. How ya doing?" 

Daniel smiles and invites them for the evening meal. 

 

 

 

 

Skaara gives Jack some moonshine, which burns like gasoline going down, and he coughs and spits and manages to wheeze out, "Smooth, very smooth," among the giggles and belly laughs all around them. Daniel is smiling softly at him. 

 

 

 

 

Jack watches Daniel intently, but surreptitiously. He notices every detail, especially when Sha're grabs Daniel's face and kisses him within an inch of his life. He notices how possessive the girl is of her husband. How forceful. He notices that Daniel raises his eyebrows in surprise and afterwards, his mouth hangs open, in shock and delight, and Jack has the insane urge to grumble and snap Daniel's jaw shut. But Daniel's lips are moist and parted and he looks drugged, and Jack supposes he's happy for him, and congratulates himself on letting Daniel stay, on making the right decision. 

 

 

 

 

Daniel prepares to lead them to the cartouche chamber. Jack is caught up in taking stock of the changes—the darkening of Daniel's hair, the easy stride and comfortable set of shoulders. The archeologist has made his home here, going native, and he has never looked more content. 

"Skaara's never let that lighter out of his sight, in all the time that you were gone," Daniel says, startling him out of his reverie. 

He doesn't know what to say to that. He's glad the boy remembered him. Glad he felt the connection, too. But he's unnerved by it, and equally unnerved that Daniel sees fit to mention it. Entering the chamber, he wonders what Daniel is thinking, but the man has already started in on the geek-speak with Carter, prattling on about the expanding universe model and Stargate addresses, and he just lets it drop. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel bit his lip, sniffing once. He remembered what happened next. He remembered, with precise clarity, the Jaffa attacking, and he and Jack running to the temple, and finding Sha're had been taken. He remembered feeling totally annihilated with worry and fear and sharp, stabbing anger. Anger that he left her there, unprotected. Anger that he ever unburied the gate. Anger that Jack suggested he come back with them. 

But looking back now, it seemed as through events could not have unfolded in any other way. It was as inevitable as a hammer striking an anvil, or like the clack of a bell on Sunday—it was destiny, it was familiar and, drowning, he had clung to Jack, trusting the other man to help him swim to shore. He remembered his people clustering around him, reaching out to comfort, to touch, always to touch, and he remembered promising to return in one year. 

He remembered he had made a lot of other promises he never got to keep. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

_You were standing all alone in that dark corridor. Your arms were wrapped around your waist in what I now know is a protective mannerism, a little idiosyncrasy, a Danielism, as I call them. Your head bowed, your lip bitten, you looked like a lost puppy, Daniel. I know you'll hate me for saying it, but there it is._

_How could I walk by you? How could I go home to that big empty house and let you just stand there?_

_"They don't know what to do with me," you said. "I don't know what to do with myself."_

_I remembered then that you were an orphan. You looked it. You were an orphan, and I had lost a son, and that's where we fit. I put my hand on your shoulder, because I couldn't say it with words. I would make you one of my kids._

_So I took you home and watched you against the backdrop of my cream-colored walls and cedar wood floors. I watched you as you sneezed by the fireplace, blew your nose, and looked utterly adorable. I know. I know you can't stand it when I say things like that, but, I'm being honest here. You were so out of your element, so unsure, and trying so hard to look relaxed. I wanted to hug you._

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=001ChildrenoftheGodsB-Daniel.jpg)

_You talked about Sha're. I don't remember everything you said. Something about yafetta flour and bravery. I can only remember the hollow inkwells of your eyes when you talked about her. The way you trailed off, sat down, trying to explain your lapse by holding up the beer and saying, "This is going straight to my head."_

_"For crying out loud. You're a cheaper date than my wife used to be."_

_And then you asked about Sara and I explained about my divorce. You were so embarrassed, you went right back to looking adorable. I told you that I'll never forgive myself for my past sins, but sometimes, I can forget._

_Sometimes._

~*~

 

 

 

 

Back at Stargate Command, the team briefs General Hammond about the events on Abydos. Daniel insists he become a member of SG-1. 

"No," Daniel says, sweetly but with emphasis. "I know this is your decision. But I really have to be on their team." 

Jack supports Daniel's desire, and recommends Kawalski for promotion. Kawalski swears that SG-2 won't leave without SG-1, and again, it isn't something that needed to be said, but Jack's glad the sentiment is there, he's glad of his men, because he knows who he is when he's with them. 

 

 

 

 

When they get to Chulak, Jack constantly interrupts Daniel. He doesn't know why he feels the needs to exert his power over Daniel—perhaps because, of all the people there, Daniel is the only one exempt from, and in ignorance of, his command. But he feels the need to teach Daniel his place along that chain. 

One of the team asks how Daniel landed Sha're for a wife. 

Jack teases, "She was a gift." 

But it doesn't go over like he though it would, because Daniel's face just lights up and he nods and says, "She was," and that was that, and Jack feels hollow for some strange reason. 

Then Apophis' priests appear on the scene and Daniel, being Daniel, runs right up to them and tries to engage in a little conversation. Jack swears, and cradles his rifle in case this gets ugly. He looks to Carter and hopes to God she never pulls this shit. 

 

 

 

 

It didn't take long for them to find themselves trapped. Daniel feels guilty, but he's too focused on finding Sha're. When the gates part and Apophis and Sha're appear before the banquet, Daniel is drawn to her the way a child creeps through the dark towards a nightlight. 

 

 

He gets blasted for his efforts, and Jack takes aim at Apophis, ready to repay the debt to one of his team, but Sha're steps in front of the bastard, and Jack has to pause. He knows that killing Sha're means killing Daniel. He doesn't want to, and even though he knows it's a wise tactical decision, he's not going to make that call. Besides, Daniel looks like he's about to faint. 

 

 

 

 

Later, in the dungeon, Daniel wakes with Jack's name on his lips. 

"Jack, help me? We can find her again." 

"Daniel, _don't_ ," he growls. Don't make him choose to be the bad guy here. 

Skaara finds them and pushes Jack that much harder. "You are a great warrior! You must save Sha're." 

Jack is so torn. 

"Jack, help me please," Daniel pleads again, and what can he do? 

Then Daniel offers himself as a host, desperate, on his knees, eyes brimming with tears. Jack is horrified. 

"Daniel, what are you _doing_?"

"Something of the host must survive," Daniel says around a sob, and Jack swallows, realizing he has completely underestimated this man. 

Skaara is taken, and Jack's heart lurches in his chest, real fear gnawing at his gut. 

He knows now, he not only has to get his team out, he has to save these people, and he has to find Daniel's Sha're, he has to save Skaara, and he has to make everything right. He must. It is his penance, his fate. Jack looks at Daniel and sees his chance for a clean slate; Jack looks at Daniel and knows that, of all the damn disgusting things he's had to do over the course of his life, letting Daniel's innocence get crushed would be just as bad as letting Charlie die. 

"All right." 

 

 

 

 

The opportunity presents itself in the most unlikely candidate. A Jaffa, in whom Jack senses great frustration and compassion, wavers on the edge. 

"I can save these people!" he promises, and somehow, Teal'c is convinced. 

Together, they fight and manage to bust a hole in their prison, saving the day. 

"I _have_ nowhere to go," Teal'c says, standing alone among the smoke and rubble of Apophis' fortress. 

It takes him less than a split-second to trust Teal'c, to recognize him, to feel the threads of connection weave and shift and form again. "For this? You can stay at my place." 

And just like that, everything congeals. 

Jack orders Daniel to run ahead through the gate, to help get the prisoners out, while he and Teal'c fight off the pursuing Jaffa. 

Tense moments pass, and Daniel's face regains some color only when Jack steps through the gate and into the embarkation room. 

"She's out there somewhere." 

Jack looks at Daniel out of the corner of his eye. He doesn't make promises lightly. He doesn't make promises he isn't completely certain he can keep. He stopped making promises the day after he buried Charlie. 

"We'll find them," he promises. 

 

 

~*~

 


	3. Inimicus Intrae

**3\. Inimicus Intrae**

 

 

 

Daniel remembered the confident way Jack had promised him they would find Sha're and Skaara. Looking back now, he knew Jack hadn't said it simply to reassure him; Jack had every intention of seeing them through. 

And as the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions... 

He had watched as Jack checked Kawalski over, looking for injuries, for anything that might have caused that little dip and spacey-spell once they were through the gate, but Kawalski insisted he was fine, and Jack didn't push, even though Daniel could clearly see that he wanted to push. 

Daniel thought back to the way Jack casually put his arm around Daniel's shoulders, drawing him in close. 

"Let's go," Jack said softly. 

 

 

 

 

Just like that, Jack led Daniel, as one leads a sleepy child, towards the elevators. Daniel was numb on the ride up, and numb in the car. He must have shivered because Jack turned on the heat and directed the vents at him. Jack always did stuff like that, and Daniel didn't notice it, until he was out of Jack's presence, and then there was no one to do those things for him, and everything seemed covered in a gray and bleak film. 

Jack opened the car door—Daniel didn't even notice they'd reached the house—and Jack silently guided him up the steps with a hand lightly placed on the small of his back. In retrospect, Daniel realized that none of these things were calculated; none of it was charged with what would later be red-hot sexual tension. It was just Jack, just Jack taking care of him, the way Jack did. 

It always surprised Daniel—the inside of Jack's house. It was so... warm. Relaxed. He allowed himself the luxury of looking around, not snooping, just looking. Green plants, everywhere. Telescopic pictures of outer space. The large, comfortable couch. Inviting Earth tones. A dwelling said everything about its owner, and if Daniel had only that space to judge Jack from, he could tell that Jack was kind and simple at heart. It would be easy to think of this place as home. 

"Make yourself at home," Jack said. Daniel started a bit, then looked for a place to put his coat. Jack eased his jacket off his shoulders and threw it on the back of a chair. "Want a beer?" 

"Um... no thanks." 

Jack gave him a look that clearly said he thought Daniel needed a beer. "You sure?" 

"I don't really like... um... okay." Feeling awkward, Daniel moved towards the couch, ashamed at refusing Jack's hospitality. 

It felt odd. They'd really only known each other a handful of days. Daniel almost never saw Jack when he had worked on the gate at the mountain, and then he'd only had a few days before they were on Chulak. Yet Jack had opened his door to Daniel as if they'd known each other all their life. 

And somehow that fit. In an odd, strained and silent, not-sure-where-to-look way. 

Jack waved a beer in front of him. Daniel had zoned out again. "Sorry." 

"S'ok." Jack plopped on the couch and took a long swig from the brown glass bottle. Daniel watched the muscles in his throat contract and release with each gulp, and he swallowed. "What's on your mind?" 

Daniel blinked. "Um... I'm trying to get things off my mind, actually." 

Jack gave him a half-smile. "Then drink up." 

So he did. He drank quite a bit. Well, three beers in less half an hour was quite a bit, for him. Not so much that Jack actually came anywhere near to beating him at chess, but, Daniel didn't have to work too hard to make it look like the game challenged him. 

Indulgent brown eyes assessed him. "You're drunk. And you're pretending to lose." 

Daniel laughed nervously. "Yeah." 

That got him a smile, a real, honest-to-God smile. At the time, Daniel wasn't even aware of it, but unconsciously, he knew he'd bend himself into a human pretzel if it earned him another one of those. 

Things with Jack were easy. They were operating on autopilot and he wasn't thinking about the outside world, or Sha're, or the Goa'uld, and least of all, he wasn't thinking about himself. Wasn't trying desperately to fit in. Because Jack just sat there, quietly, accepting him already. 

"Why?" Daniel blurted out. 

"Huh?" 

"Why are you... why am I here?" 

Jack's expression shuttered a bit, so Daniel gave him a little smile to apologize for being tactless, but he had to know. 

"Because... I made you a promise, Daniel." Jack looked so sincere. 

Daniel stared down at his lap, at the condensation on the bottle hanging limply in his hands, and nodded. "Thanks," he said to the floor. 

"Think you can sleep now?" Jack asked softly. 

He thought about sleeping on the pillows and blankets on the floor of a canvas tent, his wife's soft arms wrapped around him, her breasts pressed against him, the secret sounds of summer nights drifting in through the tent flap, and he had to suck in a breath and hold it there, because if he exhaled too quickly, the feeling might flutter away forever. 

Jack took the bottle from his hands and put it on the coffee table. "Time for bed." 

Daniel let himself be led by the elbow, down a short hallway, to the spare bedroom. Clutter abounded—worn hockey equipment, fishing gear, a pottery wheel. Jack of all trades, he thought with a wry smile. Antique model airplanes hung from the ceiling and Daniel wondered if they had belonged to Jack, or Jack's son. 

"The sheets are clean," Jack said, his voice low, casting a spell. 

"Thanks, Jack. I really 'preciate it." He stumbled towards the bed, crawling in with all his clothes on, and he watched as Jack's hands balled into slight fists, as if resisting the urge to tuck Daniel in. "You've been very kind to put up with me." 

"Don't you mean to put you up?" Jack smiled. 

Daniel smiled back. "That, too." 

"Listen... um..." Jack hesitated, briefly examining the ceiling. Daniel waited, knowing he'd get to it eventually. "Look, this house... is pretty big, for one guy. And this room? I only use it to store stuff. So, what I'm saying is... there's no rush. To go get your own place, or to go to some damned motel. There's a place for you here, as long as you need it. Okay? And don't give me crap about inconveniences and guests and all that. You've got a place with me, if you want it, until we find Sha're and you can go home." 

That had to be the longest string of sentences Jack had ever put together for him. So he must have meant it. Daniel nodded sleepily. "Home." 

Jack switched off the light. "Night, Daniel." 

"Night." 

And that had been that. 

 

 

 

 

Daniel remembered he felt so tired, and his sleep had been restless and jerky. He dreamed those kind of dreams where someone pushed in on his chest, made it hard to breathe or scream, the kind where he ran around in a long maze of tunnels, no end in sight, and of course, there were screams and glowing eyes and the chilled fingers of dread reaching deep inside and wrenching tight. 

He must have cried out, because sometime during the night, Jack came in, wearing faded boxers and a hole-filled shirt, calling his name. Daniel shot up on the bed and grabbed his head, which reeled from too much beer and a serious lack of oxygen—he had been holding his breath in his sleep. 

"Hot," he explained, tugging his shirt off. He stood up and Jack braced him as he shimmed out of his pants. 

"You're probably dehydrated. Want a glass of water?" 

Daniel shook his head. 

"Too bad, you're getting one. Come on." Jack herded him out the door and into the hall bathroom, filling a glass with tap water. "Don't argue," he warned. 

The water had a faint metallic taste—fluoride, chlorine—nothing like pure, Abydonian well water, but he guzzled it anyway. 

"Easy, Daniel." 

"Okay," he panted, giving Jack back an empty glass. 

"You look like shit," Jack said. 

"Thanks." 

They stared at one another for a beat, then Daniel nodded and headed back to the guest room. Jack steered him again, this time turning him into the master bedroom. 

"Jack?" 

"Get in." Jack held back the covers. 

"Um..."

"Damn it, Daniel," Jack said very gently. "I've been listening to you moan and cry for half the night." 

Daniel blushed, he could feel the heat creep up his neck and fill out his cheeks. 

"And I can understand why, but we're no good to anyone if you're a basket case and I'm exhausted. So just get in, okay?" 

Now, normally, Daniel was not bashful, and he felt fine with the idea of sharing bed- space with another man. He had done so on many digs and it was not uncommon to take afternoon naps with the men on Abydos. But even he wasn't so drunk he didn't know that snuggling up to Jack O'Neill in bed was a little... odd. 

"I do this with my men after a bad mission. I watch over them while they sleep. They've done it for me. It's just something we do. So get in." 

Daniel got under the covers and waited, but Jack just pulled up a rocking chair and sat beside the edge of the bed. "Go to sleep. I'll be here." 

"But—"

"Daniel?" Jack said in a tone that clearly meant the discussion was over. 

He didn't like being treated like a child, but he was thrown off guard, because the Jack O'Neill he knew from their first mission used to bark orders and glare daggers, always with his back up. This Jack O'Neill seemed hell bent for leather to mother him, and it was kind of... comforting. Eventually, his eyelids grew heavy, and the sound of Jack's even breathing lulled him, and Daniel turned into the pillow and went to sleep. 

 

 

 

 

On the cusp of early morning, he felt a strong, solid arm about his waist, and warm breath on his neck. If he tried hard, he could almost sense the steady drum of a heartbeat, and that calmed him. But he was never really sure if he had dreamed it, because when morning came, Jack had already been up, showered, cooking breakfast. 

 

 

 

 

Daniel tripped tiredly into the kitchen and glared at the offending sunshine. 

"Morning. You academics sure sleep late." 

"It's nine o'clock," Daniel rasped out, as if to say it was obviously too early to even consider consciousness. 

"Exactly. I cooked breakfast. Park yourself." Jack thrust his chin towards the table and then scooped up eggs and bacon onto a plate. Daniel thought briefly about mentioning arteries and hypertension, but it was too much work to argue this early in the morning. 

Thick, black coffee wafted back and forth in front of his nose, and Daniel practically lunged for it, holding the cup in his palms with real reverence, which made Jack chuckle. He didn't want to be rude to his host, so Daniel chugged the first cup, and then sipped the second, and somewhere along the way he picked at the bacon and pushed the eggs around his plate. All the while, Jack read his paper. 

Daniel looked at Jack, his legs crossed and propped up on the chair next to Daniel, his hair dappled with droplets of shower-water. Jack looked relaxed. Reposed, even. Instinctively, Daniel knew something was up. 

"What?" he asked. 

"What?" Jack said, not looking up from his paper. 

Daniel waited. "What?" 

Jack creased the paper and peered at him. "You want to go for a jog? Good thing to clear your head first thing in the morning." 

Sneering in a manner Daniel hoped Jack wouldn't take too personally, he drained his coffee and shuffled back to bed. Back to _Jack's_ bed. 

A beat. 

Two. 

"You're going back to sleep?" Incredulous. 

"Humph," Daniel replied, cocooning himself in the covers. 

Covers were ripped away with heartless ease. "You've got to get up, Daniel! Time's a- wasting and we've got a lot to do." 

"Do?" 

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but everything you own in the world is crammed into two suitcases, right?" 

"Right." 

"So... you're gonna need stuff. Clothes. Toiletries. Edible stuff. I need groceries, now that I'm cooking for company. And besides, I'm no good at letting people languish away." 

"I lost my wife," he blurted, as if just now remembering. 

"Yes," Jack agreed. "All the more reason. We're on stand down today, but tomorrow we're back at it. So we should—"

Daniel bounded out of bed, looking for his clothes, which, if he bothered to remember, were lying on the guest room floor. "We should go now." 

Hands on hips, Jack waited for Daniel to realize he'd lost his mind. He followed Daniel to the guest room and watched as Daniel hopped into his pants. 

"They're still taking care of the refugee situation down there. Nothing's going to get done today. You're better off here." 

"She's out there, Jack. You promised to help me find her." 

Winter crept into Jack's voice. "And I will. But not today. You ever heard of a tactical retreat, Daniel? Today, we rest, and load up on supplies. Tomorrow we brain storm. We'll find Sha're, and when we do, you'll be rested and fueled up and ready to do something about it. You're going to have to trust me." 

Brown eyes pinned him down, and Daniel stood, transfixed, his hands on the buttons of his fly, beginning to unravel somewhere deep inside. "I do." 

Jack gripped his arms, shaking him a little. 

"I..." Daniel broke off, embarrassed and confused and unsure what to say or do. He was only aware of Jack's calloused hands on his arms, of the heat that transferred between their skin, and that was an odd thought to be having at this particular moment, and so he decided he wasn't thinking it. 

"Daniel? It's going to be okay. We'll get you settled, and then we'll do everything by the book. Right down the middle. Cross every T, dot every I." 

Swallowing, Daniel nodded. "I feel like I should be doing something right now." 

"Yes. You should be showering. You reek." 

"I do not!" Daniel realized Jack was teasing. Teasing him. With a straight face. "Besides, how could you notice me next to your own smell?" 

Jack cracked a grin. "Hey, it's been a busy couple of days. You're saying you don't like Eau de Prison Chamber?" He playfully shoved Daniel towards the hall bathroom. "Towels are under the sink, and stay away from the good shampoo." 

Daniel lumbered in and shut the door. The whole bathroom smelled like Jack—Jack's aftershave, Jack's deodorant—even the hand-held soaps, which were an anomaly to normal bachelors, he was sure. "Jack?" he called through the door. "Which one's the good shampoo?" 

"Doesn't really matter," Jack said, walking down the hall. "Just use whatever. Mi casa, su casa." Daniel climbed into the shower with those words weighing on his mind. Jack had literally given him a home, overnight. 

Part of him wanted to forgo shopping and just take a bunk on base. He'd grown quite used to living out of suitcases, to nomadic life, to always waiting for the other shoe to drop. It didn't make any sense that he move in with this hot-shot military man, they didn't have anything in common, and no doubt they'd be at each other's throats by the end of the day. 

Still. It... fit. It just fit. 

He turned on the water and worked up a good lather. He would smell like Jack, and that felt okay. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Jack watched Daniel shuffle and... twitter... was the only word he could think for it, through the aisles of the department store. You would think the man had never set foot in the mall before, and had done all his shopping out of L.L. Bean catalogs. Which, looking at the flannel top and plain khaki pants, explained a lot. 

The urge to pick out nice things for Daniel—blue cotton tops and soft, clinging slacks— made Jack's hands twitch, so he wisely stuck them in his pockets. Daniel had to choose whatever made him feel comfortable, and besides, worrying about what another guy wore was, quite frankly, beyond the Twilight Zone for Jack. It's just that... Daniel wasn't unattractive in the least, yet he carried himself so poorly, his shoulders curving in on themselves, hiding his eyes behind those long bangs... it irked Jack. Irked him. 

"You want ice cream?" 

"What?" 

Jack held up a blue button-down to Daniel's shoulders. "Ice. Cream. Hot fudge. Nuts. Jimmies." 

"Jimmies?" 

"Sprinkles." 

"Ah." Daniel looked at the piles of clothes dangling off of Jack's arms with a forlorn expression and nodded. "Anything other than more clothes shopping." 

"We still haven't gotten shoes." 

"I don't need more shoes, Jack," Daniel said flatly. 

Jack stuck his tongue out behind Daniel's back. 

"Saw that." 

Damned store mirrors. 

Daniel reached for his wallet and Jack stopped him. He pulled out his SGC-endorsed credit card. 

"What are you doing?" Daniel asked sharply. 

"Your expense account hasn't been activated yet. This stuff can go under necessities. I'll cover it, until you get set up with a bank." He didn't look at Daniel, because things like this made him uncomfortable—situations in which someone had to say thank you. 

"Thank you." 

Jack shrugged. "So, ice cream?" 

Daniel smiled. 

 

 

 

 

Jack used to take Charlie to Friendly's after every game, win or lose. Charlie would always, without fail, order the Reese's peanut butter cup sundae and spend the rest of the afternoon with peanut butter syrup drizzled at the corners of his mouth. The memory made Jack smile. 

"What are you getting?" Daniel asked. 

"Banana split. It's a classic." 

Daniel sighed, shaking his head. 

"What?" 

"I just... I knew you were going to get that." 

"You knew?" 

"Yeah. I just knew it." 

"Hm... Let's see. What are you gonna get..." He held the menu up to his temple and did a poor Johnny Carson impression. "If I had to guess, I'd lean towards the mint chocolate chip, or the pistachio." He waited, but Daniel's smile betrayed nothing. He looked down at the menu as the waitress came over. Daniel opened his mouth, but Jack beat him to the punch. "I'll have a royal split, and he's taking the cherry pie with two scoops of warm French vanilla." 

Daniel blinked. Jack smirked. The waitress looked at both of them and went away... fast. 

"How did you know that?" 

Jack shrugged. 

"Telepathy? Maybe it's an effect of gate travel?" Daniel sounded intrigued. 

"Shh." Jack looked around, but no one paid them any attention. "Maybe it's just obvious you wanted cherries... Cherry pie... Pie!" Jack screwed his eyes shut and fiddled with the paper on his straw. 

Daniel folded his arms. "Uh huh." 

"Okay, and maybe you had your finger on that place on the menu for the past five minutes," Jack finally admitted. 

"Wow, you notice the weirdest details." 

"Special Ops." 

"Really?" Daniel leaned forward. "I'm, ah... I was never into many Bond movies or Mission Impossible. Didn't really watch a lot of TV. You do all that super spy stuff?" 

Jack smiled. "No. Mostly went behind enemy lines to bring back M.I.A.'s, stuff like that." 

"Oh. Wow." 

He shrugged again. "I've done a lot of other things, but..."

"If you tell me, you'd have to kill me?" 

"Yeah." Jack said this seriously. Daniel blinked, waiting for a smile that never came. Jack watched Daniel swallow uncomfortably and suppressed the urge to laugh out loud. 

The younger man played with the salt and pepper shakers for a while. "You know, there are a lot of societies that insist upon secrecy. Not just the military. Take the Masons. Lots of cults. Or certain hunter tribes of New Guinea. And voodoo culture is widely renowned for... I'm... I'm doing it again. Babbling. Sorry." 

Jack really wanted a cigarette, something, anything to do with his hands, because Daniel being nervous and jittery looked irresistibly vulnerable, and he really wanted to ruffle the man's hair and tease him mercilessly about it. It's not like the man was a goddamned kid. 

 

 

Luckily the ice cream came, and Jack had the pleasure of watching Daniel devour his cherry pie with gusto. "There's no ice cream on Abydos," he explained. 

Jack noted the dabble of whipped cream on Daniel's chin and wisely kept his mouth shut. Sometimes Daniel reminded him of a child, and sometimes, Daniel seemed older than _he_ was, if it was possible to seem older than he was, and most often, Daniel looked caught somewhere in between. He was glad they had gotten out, gotten everything Daniel would need for the next couple of weeks, and were able to relax for a little bit. Stuff at the base just felt too intense. He wanted to take Daniel to a movie, maybe hang out at the bar, but Daniel looked tired, Jack could see the strain. He suggested they head for home, and Daniel silently nodded. 

So much of Daniel got communicated through his body language. Jack had only to pay attention and it was all there, laid bare, obvious to him. 

He picked up the check, again, beginning to wonder if this outing didn't serve as some bizarre first date, and they headed for the car. 

He put the heat on, mostly for Daniel, and played the radio. 

"Didn't have radio on Abydos, either." 

Jack had the classical station on—Puccini—and he glanced over to see Daniel's tiny smile. "What's got you grinning?" 

"Didn't figure you for an opera fan." 

"Yeah well, still waters... There's a lot about me that isn't immediately obvious, ya know." Jack considered that fair warning. 

Daniel didn't say anything, but Jack could feel his gaze under those thick lashes, could sense the younger man assessing him silently. He figured the best way to gain Daniel's trust was to let him arrive at his own conclusions. 

 

 

 

 

That night, Jack curled into bed, his knees aching slightly and his neck sore from spending most of the previous night in the rocker. He felt drowsy, but it wasn't long before the silence in Daniel's room became deafening. All those highly trained awareness skills kicked in and Jack knew-- _knew_ \-- that Daniel wasn't sleeping. 

Sighing, Jack padded over to Daniel's room and opened the door. Daniel lay on top of the covers, staring up at the planes, incriminating tear streaks on his face. So, Dr. Jackson cried silently, did he? He filed that information away in the back of his mind, one more piece of the Daniel puzzle placed, and let the door swing all the way open. He gave Daniel a look, and walked slowly back to bed. 

A few breathless seconds ticked by, and then Daniel joined him. 

They didn't touch. They scarcely breathed. Suddenly Daniel hitched. 

"I miss her." 

Jack could no sooner stop himself from holding Daniel's hand than he could stop his own heart beating. It just fit and he was too old and too tired to question the twisted shit his life had become. 

"I know." 

"We have to get her back." Daniel moved minutely closer, their shoulders brushing. 

"We will." 

Jack held himself very still, until Daniel's breathing no longer sounded brittle enough to break his chest, and then he let himself relax. He let Daniel curl into him, fill up the pockets of space around him. He let the shampoo and the ice cream smells waft over him, and decided it wasn't so bad. He slept well. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

The next several days collapse around Jack like the folds of a nightmare. He watches, helpless, as Kawalski bleats and whimpers, pleading with Jack, "Oh God, Jack, you gotta help me. You gotta get it out of me." 

Jack sits in the infirmary, listens to the good doctor and Teal'c explain how a parasitic alien called a Goa'uld has wrapped itself around Charlie Kawalski's brainstem and there's not a damn thing they can do about it except put a merciful bullet between his eyes. 

Jack sits by Kawalski's bed, as he always does when one of his team is injured, not moving, just letting his presence smooth over the tension, plug up the gaps with calm assurance. 

"Hey. If you don't make it... can I have your stereo?" he jokes. 

Kawalski is wracked by coughs and laughter and Jack takes his hand automatically. This man, this man with whom he shared so much of the past... this man who was with him during all those Special Ops missions... who would have been with him when he crumbled dried Earth over his son's grave, if he ever bothered to even mention to Kawalski that he had a son... who was with him the first time he went through the gate, and refused to leave without him, because home wasn't home without your team... now this man lies on the bed like a nerveless rag doll, snot and tears leaking out of him, scared shitless. 

Daniel is all worry and concern, for Kawalski, for Jack, and on some level, Jack supposes, for Sha're, and for what she must be going through having one of those things in her head. He looks maddeningly adorable in those polished glasses, with his glossy hair and brave smile. Jack wants to go to him, to talk with him, or just sit for a while, but he can't because Kawalski is going under the knife, and this operation is too important for Jack to let go of his vigilance. 

 

 

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=002TheEnemyWithin.jpg)

 

 

Just when Jack thinks all is well, when Charlie is restored to them and Daniel is happy that there's a procedure to cure the implantation, Kawalski—or the thing that's taken his body hostage—takes over and goes ballistic on Teal'c. 

 

 

Eventually Jack gives the order, and Teal'c sees it through, holding Kawalski's head in the event horizon while they shut down the gate. 

Charlie collapses, his brain severed in two, and the creature in him shrivels up on the ramp and dies. Jack's sort of sorry he couldn't beat it to death himself. 

Daniel is there, and Teal'c, trying to comfort him. 

"My friend died on that table," he says stoically. 

Ferretti will never forgive him, not completely. Jack knows they were lovers. Once he knew what to look for, it was obvious—he only had notice the way Kawalski would never leave Lou's bedside when he was hurt, or the way Ferretti always backed Charlie up during a mission, right or wrong. Jack covered for them countless times, because they were a team. 

Jack never completely forgives himself either. 

 

 

 

 

Later that night, it is Daniel who frames Jack's bedroom door. Not a word is spoken, but Jack lets him pad in, slip under, and hold him tight. He doesn't cry, because Jack never cries, but he lets Daniel pet his hair, his arm, and it's enough. 

Something is changing between them. Something is now in motion, gathering momentum, but Jack can think of nothing to do but ride it out. They are both in pain, so much pain, and then when they're together, suddenly they're not hurting anymore. And that kind of respite is addictive. 

Jack nuzzles into the hollow between Daniel's chin and collarbone and closes his eyes. It's a long time before he gets some sleep. But Daniel is there. 

And so, sleep he does. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

_After Charlie died, I didn't close my eyes for almost a year. And then, it was always a black, heavy sleep, and I never got any rest. I never let my guard down against the memories of blood soaking through cowboy sheets, and brains splattered on the wallpaper._

_The first time I held you was the first time I had slept so well since my childhood in Minnesota. You gave me peace._

_When you think about it, how likely was it that a man like me would ever end up in bed with a man like you? But then, how likely was it either of us would be walking through an alien gate to the other edge of the known universe?_

_Night was always a lonely time, Daniel. A haunting._

_Then, there was you._

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel slid the thin journal page between his thumb and forefinger, and remembered holding Jack that night, remembered the first sense that something was going to happen between him and the older man. 

But he was surprised that Jack wrote about it so eloquently, here. Surprised that Jack scrutinized every little detail. He was shocked to see how much attention Jack had paid to him, in the beginning, and how little he had realized of Jack at the time. 

He settled deeper into the couch, and turned the page, knowing what would come, and yet, totally at a loss to predict how Jack would describe it. 

~*~

 

 


	4. Exhalatio

**4\. Exhalatio**

 

 

 

 

_Do you remember that planet, I forget the address... The one with the Mongols in desperate need of a crash course in Women's Studies? That was one of the first exploratory missions we had together._

_I had my serious doubts. About you. About your ability in the field._

_Looking back, Daniel, you have to admit, you were naďve and undisciplined and overwhelmingly aggravating, but I put up with it, because you were more than useful— you were invaluable—and you always have been._

_Plus, you looked so cute in fatigue B.D.U.s and a helmet. Couldn't keep my eyes off you, though I didn't realize it at the time._

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=003Emancipation.jpg)

_Before that mission was over, though, I had an inkling..._

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel, Jack and Teal'c enter Mughal's tent, followed closely by Abu, and they behold Sam in all her silk-ridden, stone-spangled, head-dressed glory. They stare. They stare, stupidly. 

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen," the boy says, astonished. 

Sam clearly thinks they have all been battered with the stupid-stick. "You must not get out much." 

"I don't know, it kinda works for me," Jack says, smiling sweetly. 

Sam turns to Daniel for help. 

"It's... it's you, it's..." Daniel supplies. 

"It's you," Jack agrees. 

Daniel nods. "Definitely you." 

Sam fumes. 

 

 

 

 

Daniel shares a naughty smirk with Jack when he comes out of the tent. Mughal asks them to join the men for the evening festivities, which are in their honor, and Jack looks hesitant, but Daniel pleads for the opportunity to observe the event by using his puppy- dog look, and Jack relents. 

Daniel thinks he's almost got Jack wrapped around his finger. 

But Jack just wants more time to watch Daniel in action. And to threat-assess the villagers, of course. 

They sit on large cushions before a table brimming with elaborate dishes. Obligatory drums beat in the background; Jack is aware of a flute. How cliché. Jack watches Daniel interact with the Shavadai, notes the way, one by one, he garners each man's attention. 

It's easy to dismiss Daniel as a bit of a geek, a flake, the weak link. Until he opens his mouth. Then all this brilliant stuff falls out, and the people around him are laid out like bodies on a battlefield, bowled over by the force of Daniel's convictions or the insight of his observations. 

Daniel is doing his best to be charming and Jack thinks he doesn't have to work that hard at it. Halfway through the meal, Jack notices Daniel's earned himself more than a handful of admirers. 

Of course, Daniel is oblivious. Jack shakes his head, takes a sip of the mead, its pungent flavor scathing his tongue. Pretty soon he's going to have to take Daniel back to their tent, because many of the young men and even a few of the elders are edging too close, becoming too affectionate in their glances and touches, and Daniel's actually encouraging it, because the scholar in him finds it all fascinating. 

Jack knows, first hand, it's not fascinating. 

 

 

 

 

"You have a consort among your people, yes?" Mughal asks. 

"Consort?" Daniel says around a mouthful of flatbread. 

"A bed companion?" 

"Oh, um... Well. I'm married. I have a wife," Daniel explains, and Jack just glowers into his cup, because he knows that's not what Mughal is asking. 

Mughal smiles indulgently. "I have a wife also. Many men here have many wives. But we also have consorts. The company of men, of equals, is nothing like that of the company of wives. It is far better between warriors..."

Jack can see Daniel gearing up for a speech about gender equality on Earth, and domestic relations on Abydos, and again, he knows that this isn't the direction Mughal's going in, either. Mughal edges closer to Daniel and a sudden impulse has Jack's hand skimming over Daniel's upper thigh. 

"Yes," he grounds out. Jack makes damn sure Mughal can see him rhythmically squeezing Daniel's thigh in what can only be described as a suggestive manner. He hopes to God Daniel's sudden paralysis and beet-red blush doesn't blow their cover. "We have... consorts. And where we come from, they're exclusive." 

Mughal withdraws immediately. "Strange custom." 

Daniel makes a funny sound. "On our planet..." he squeaks out, then covers his mouth with his hand and clears his throat. "On our planet, it's called Homo Eros, the love between men, the warrior bond. It's... some consider it sacred." He looks at Jack, and Jack can see him floundering, see the pupils contract and release with fear and embarrassment and something else Jack can't quite put a finger on, but his hand gentles, and he lets Daniel know with a look that it's going to be okay. 

"It is also true on Chulak," Teal'c adds, and Jack is grateful for the diversion. He keeps his hand in Daniel's lap, though, possessiveness coming off him in tiny waves, and Daniel doesn't do anything to stop him. Secretly, Jack's thrilled that Daniel trusts him that much. "When a warrior comes of age, he usually experiences love for the first time with his master, or one of the others of his own rank." 

"So it is with us," Mughal says. "You'll be wanting your own tent, then," he says to Jack and Daniel. 

"Oh... oh..." Daniel blusters, and Jack tangles their fingers together. 

"Thanks," Jack says. "And it is our custom that Teal'c share a tent with Captain Carter." 

Mughal frowns. "I am afraid that would be quite impossible. It is against our law." 

"But—" Daniel starts in, seeing Jack's face darken. 

"Would it be inappropriate for me to stand guard outside?" Teal'c asks, bowing slightly. 

"I'm afraid no men are allowed in that part of the camp at night unless they are married into that family. I'm sorry. It is only one night, and you have my assurances she will be well treated." 

Jack fixes Mughal with a stare. "Your assurances, huh? Well, that makes me feel better." 

"Jack," Daniel warns in a whisper. 

Teal'c leans forward. "O'Neill. Captain Carter is a highly trained warrior, is she not? I believe she will be well." 

"Yeah, okay," Jack breathes into his cup, draining the last of the wine. "Well, Mug, it's been a blast, really, you guys sure know how to throw a party. But I think it's time I took my... ah, consort... to bed, actually. So if you'll excuse us. Teal'c?" 

"Good night O'Neill, Daniel Jackson." 

Jack hauls Daniel to his feet—Daniel is slightly drunk off half a cup of mead by this point—but he manages a tremulous smile. "Night, Teal'c. Night, Mughal." 

"Good night," Mughal bids them as Jack leads Daniel towards their tent. 

 

 

 

 

Jack pulls back the flap and ushers Daniel in, fully expecting the archeologist to lambaste him for the shit he just pulled out there, and he's already forming his counterpoints about team cohesion and social dynamics and the basic facts of life in the field when he feels Daniel's hand rest lightly on his triceps. 

"Thanks, Jack," he says simply. "I can handle myself, you know, but I appreciate the effort back there." 

Jack shrugs. Quite stupidly. "It's nothing. I wish we could all share a tent, I don't like it when..."

"I know. You want to be with your team," Daniel says this somberly, pulling back the coverlets of their makeshift bedroll. 

"Yeah." Jack doesn't have to say more, Daniel gets it. 

It isn't awkward, sleeping side by side. They'd done it the last three nights, and there was a tension in the air, because it was Jack's bed, in Jack's house, Jack's territory, and that was odd. But here it seemed normal, comforting, standard operating procedure, anyway. He waits for Daniel to fall asleep first, amidst the sound of drums and flutes, and when everything is quiet, Jack lets himself relax. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

In the morning, when Sam is found missing and Mughal explains about Abu trading her to the Sha'ved, Daniel watches Jack's face go from congenial to foreboding in under three seconds flat. 

Jack is tense, curled like wick wire, his shoulders squared so sharply Daniel aches in sympathy. He knows the colonel in Jack can't stand it when one of his team is in danger, but there's something more here, something boiling just beneath the surface. Jack is going to kill somebody soon if he doesn't see that Carter is all right. 

On the ride towards Turghan's camp, Daniel comes up close to Jack and softly asks, "What is it, Jack?" 

"I don't like it," he says shortly. Long moments stretch before them. "All sorts of things happen in an enemy camp, Daniel. For a woman, it's worse..." He trails off, and Daniel understands. 

A quick look at Jack makes Daniel shiver; he's worried Jack knows exactly what he's talking about. Maybe someday, Jack will feel comfortable enough to give him the details. 

Mughal stops them with the raise of his hand. "If we attack, there will be war. Turghan is allied with twenty-two clans. When he fights, he takes no prisoners." 

"You mean they'd kill all of you?" Daniel is horrified. 

"Yes. If you will wait until morning, I will go, and request a trade. He cannot refuse." 

Teal'c speaks up, "But what will happen to Dr. Carter tonight, if we wait?" 

Mughal looks down. "Turghan will partake in his newest purchase." 

"Oh, there's not a chance in _hell_." Jack's vehemence is staggering. 

Daniel explains, "In our land, if a man wants a women, she can say no." 

"No one refuses Turghan, and lives." 

"Then we go now," Jack insists, and they make their way to the village. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

It turns out they can barter Sam for Jack's firearm, but she goes back to defend Nya and Abu's inconvenient Romeo and Juliet act. It's one hell of a knife fight and Jack is proud of her, proud of her skills and her professionalism and most of all, he's damned relieved that he doesn't have to deal with anything more than her indignation on sexual politics. 

 

 

 

 

They head toward the gate, and Sam searches for the silver lining, saying, "So you think this new anesthesia will be a new miracle drug on Earth?" 

"Well if it is," Daniel says, "I bet somebody else will get the credit. We can never say where it came from." 

"Damn. Guess I'm going to have to cancel that Oprah interview." Jack smiles at Daniel. 

"What is an Oprah?" Teal'c asks, and Jack makes a mental note to invite him over for some quality TV time as they step into the event horizon. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

He got up from the couch, taking the book with him, and went to the kitchen. Macaroni and Cheese, Campbell's Soup, and some TV dinners. Nothing perishable, nothing that wouldn't hold in case Jack didn't come back from a mission. 

As Jack hadn't come back from the last mission, but he would, Daniel insisted to himself. He would. 

Setting the pot of water to boil, Daniel broke open the Macaroni and Cheese box and turned back to the journal. He vaguely remembered returning from that mission, so very long ago, and how Jack had said he was too tired to cook, so Daniel put on one of his new outfits and they went out to dinner...

Vito's Restaurant was one of those quiet little places only the locals knew about. It had all the clichés—checkered table clothes and little votive candles in gaudy red glass containers. Daniel took Sarah to a place like this once, back in Chicago, and she harped on him about it for ages. But he liked it. It was warm, and smelled nice, and most of all, it was quiet at eight o'clock at night. 

"I'm thinking lasagna," Jack said, twisting a breadstick into marinara sauce. 

"Yeah," Daniel said absently. He knew Jack would get that. He just... knew it. 

"What about you?" 

"I'm torn. The chicken primavera looks good, but the manicotti..."

Jack sympathized. "Big decision." 

Daniel smiled. The _look_ on Jack's face came close—close—to flirting. Jack teased him like that and it was fast becoming their private modus operandi. 

The waiter, who by the looks of it was also the chef and possibly the busboy, came over, pen and paper at the ready. 

"Lasagna," Jack said, handing over his menu. "Bottle of merlot, please." 

"Um..." Daniel hedged, his mind suddenly blank as Jack's leg brushed against his own under the table. "Uh..."

"He'll have the manicotti," Jack said decisively, smirking at Daniel as though he's lost his senses. 

"Very good, sir," the waiter said, not looking up from the pad as he walked away. 

"I _am_ capable of making decisions on my own, you know," Daniel huffed. 

"Sure ya are, Danny boy." Jack winked. He actually winked. 

Okay, this was... odd. They were having dinner by candlelight, practically the only ones in the restaurant late on a Tuesday's night, and Jack's leg kept brushing his, and Jack smiled at him, and winked at him, and teased him gently, and it... was nice. 

Daniel decided he wasn't going to think too deeply about it. He could read too much into things, and honestly, Jack was not that complicated. He'd gone too long without a male companion, ages since he had a friend that didn't want anything from him other than to just kill some time, and Daniel let himself relax and enjoy it. 

"I love Italian food," he said conversationally. 

"You ought to try Mama O'Neill's sometime." 

"Lots of O'Neill's running around in Italy that I don't know about?" 

Jack rolled his eyes. "Pop is Irish. Ma is Italian. So, yes, you could say I have a bit of a temper." 

"You?" Daniel said with exaggerated surprise. "Bet you have a big family, too." 

Jack shrugged. "Some brothers and sisters, yeah. They've got kids..." Jack trailed off at the mention of children. 

"I've had seven sisters and eleven brothers. Foster, of course." 

"Jesus Christ. What, did you get adopted by rabid minks?" 

Daniel snorted elegantly. "No. Actually, I never got adopted. I got placed around a lot. There were almost always real children... I mean, blood relatives..."

Jack watched him carefully now and Daniel looked away. 

"That must have been hard." 

He shrugged. 

"How many times is a lot?" 

The tablecloth suddenly looked very, very interesting. Cheap plastic with a cheaper cotton lining. "Um, sixteen." 

"Sixteen? Sixteen _foster families_?" Jack looked like he wanted to knock his chair back and blow something away with his rifle. 

"I... didn't fit in well." 

"Shit." 

"It's okay. I mean, it's water under the bridge." 

The way Jack studied him—it wasn't pity, but it was more like, sadness, for Daniel, true sadness—and Daniel didn't feel comfortable with that, because he didn't like owing anyone debts, and he didn't want his new friend to feel obligated to get any more protective of him, because it wasn't like that. 

"It wasn't all bad. Only the last one. Most times I just... didn't fit." 

"You were some sort of trouble maker?" Did Jack's voice just take on a deeper edge? 

"I could be. I was very elitist in my youth. Shrinks used to say it was a defense mechanism. I... I didn't do well with people. I mean, I like people. I like studying people, figuring out how and why they work. I still think people are basically good. But... I was a very angry kid, and I used to get into fights..."

"You?" 

"Not fist fights, God no. I mean, like, arguments. There wasn't an argument I couldn't win. It didn't make me many friends. Sometimes when you win, you lose." Daniel fiddled with his silverware. 

"So you got placed around a lot. Then what happened?" 

"I went to college." Jack shouldn't really be asking all these questions, it wasn't polite, but the deeper he delved into Daniel, the more poison he bled out, and the better it felt. Like something coiled in his chest could finally dislodge. "At sixteen." 

Jack whistled low. 

"How else could I earn two doctorates before my thirties?" 

"Archeology and Linguistics, right? How many languages—"

"Twenty-three," Daniel supplied, ducking his head modestly. "Every time I moved to a new place, I started learning a new language. It was just a thing I did." 

Jack nodded. "A nomadic ritual." 

"Yeah." Daniel felt surprised that Jack got it, got him, so quickly. 

"Like with the suitcases." 

"Hm?" 

Jack shifted in his seat, stretched his legs, and suddenly Daniel could feel both of Jack's calves on either side of his. "The suitcases in your closet. The ones you won't unpack. That's a thing with you. 'Cause you're never sure when you'll have to leave, sudden- like." 

Daniel wanted to cry and he knew that was wrong. "I guess." 

"I meant what I said, Danny." Jack's eyes were bright then, reflecting the dinky candlelight. "You've got a place with me, as long as you want it." 

"Jack..." Daniel had to look away, because it got just too intense all of a sudden. "Thanks." 

"One rule, though." Daniel's head shot up. "Stop saying thanks all the time. It's weird. You don't have to thank me. That's what friends are for." 

Daniel mouthed the word friends, testing it out on his lips, and decided he liked it. "Okay." 

The waiter brought their entrees and the next several minutes were filled with the pleasant sounds of utensils scraping on plates and satisfied sighs. "This is good," Daniel said in between mouthfuls. "They didn't have pasta on Abydos, you know." 

Jack winced. "How did you survive?" 

Daniel laughed. "I made do with what was available. Lots of mastadge and goat dishes. Goat cheese. Goat milk. Gyros. Goat jerky." 

"Goat jerky?" Jack asked, like the idea pained him. 

"Staple livestock." 

Shaking his head, Jack speared himself a bite of Daniel's food and popped it into his mouth. "Eat your manicotti or I will." 

"Hey!" Daniel retaliated by stealing the corner piece of Jack's lasagna. "Mmm. I know what I'm getting next time." 

Jabbing his fork in Daniel's general direction, Jack took a long drink. "Just remember, it always tastes better off someone else's plate!" 

"Guess I'll just have to make you order it, then." 

They smiled, a ridiculous, face-splitting smile, about nothing in particular, it just felt right to smile. 

"Dessert?" 

Daniel groaned. "God, no." 

"I'd offer you coffee, but you'll never get to sleep." 

"Is Mama O'Neill this much of a nagging mother hen?" 

Jack's eyes sparkled. "Oh, you've no idea, Daniel, no idea." 

The check came and Daniel insisted it was his turn—this was his first purchase with his SGC account. He had money. He _actually_ had _money_ , for the first time in his life. Of course, the instincts to squirrel it all away for hard times usually had him spending conservatively, but tonight was a celebration of sorts. They made it back from their first exploratory mission intact, and things were going well. Daniel still felt impatient to keep going through the gate, keep hunting for Sha're, but Jack had convinced him it would take time, and during that time, he was happy to be with Jack. Jack made him forget. 

"Let's go home," Daniel invited warmly. 

Jack's eyebrows lifted at the words, and then he smiled, that real, honest-to-God smile that made Daniel's heart flap like birds' wings. "Sounds good." 

 

 

 

They slept in separate rooms that night, because there had been no trauma requiring the comfort of another's presence, but it took a while for Daniel to nod off to sleep. His tummy was full, the wine from dinner gave him a pleasant buzz, and the mattress was so soft compared to the bedrolls of the Shavadai tent. He sighed, drifting, knowing that Jack was waiting for him to fall asleep, that Jack wouldn't sleep until he did, and he smiled at that, because that was totally crazy, and completely Jack. 

"'Night, Jack," he said to the empty room, certain that Jack had heard him. 

 

 

 

~*~ 


	5. Dividere de Broca

**5\. Dividere de Broca**

 

 

 

 

Hammond sits at the briefing table and explains to his flagship team how the refugees from Chulak have enabled them to find the planet to which Apophis and Amaunet escaped. They're calling it P3X-797. 

Jack makes the snarky comment, "Let me guess, sir. That's the planet we're going to?" 

"Very good, Colonel," he replies. 

"I pride myself on my deductive reasoning skills." 

George has to hold in his laugh, because it's unprofessional for full-bird Major Generals to allow their subordinates to be overtly sarcastic, let alone to actively encourage it. But on the inside, he snickers. 

He likes Jack. He always has, since they first met in 1969, but of course, he can't mention that yet. 

Yes, George truly likes Jack. George trusts Jack to lead, and understands what makes Jack tick more than he'll ever let on. He's read all the files, thoroughly. But mostly, George admires Jack because of the way—ever since he arrived to take control of Stargate Command—Jack slid Doctor Jackson under his wing without even conscious thought about it. If he knew nothing else about Colonel O'Neill, that alone told him that Jack was a good man. 

Both young men seemed to be growing closer, and George approved of that. They would need each other for the rough times he knows are coming. 

Daniel clears his throat. "Couldn't we call this planet something a little easier to remember?" 

"Uh," the captain starts, "It's based on a binary code the computer uses for extrapolation." 

"Well that makes it _much_ easier to remember," Jack snipes, and George really has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep his grin at bay. 

Jack and Daniel share a smile that holds promises. They don't even seem to be fully aware of what they're broadcasting, but George has had twenty-nine years to think about the way they both relate, and George can see a lot of things coming. 

George has a lot of suspicions. 

George will never say a damned word. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel rushes to the gate room as the fifth chevron is encoded. 

"You're late," Jack reminds him, handing him a pair of goggles. "Put these on." 

"This doesn't look like my prescription," Daniel tries for levity. He sniffs, slight disdain evident. 

The marines offer to back them up on the other side— on the planet that's so dark even the M.A.L.P. can't detect clear telemetry. 

Jack calmly insists they go first. "You watch our lovely backsides, remember?" 

Makepeace grimaces. "Have it your way, flyboy." 

This distresses Daniel a bit. "Are you out of your mind?" 

Jack stops, reaches over and puts Daniel's helmet on for him, like he's putting a hard-cap on a little league player, then fiddles with the night-vision goggles. "If Skaara or Sha're are on the other side, those jarheads will open fire as soon as they see the lights of their eyes, if you know what I mean. You want that?" 

He looks down, rueful, suddenly more jumpy than he can ever remember feeling, because this time, this time he may find her and save her and then say goodbye to Earth... to Jack...Why does that feel wrong? Like some sort of divergence...

"Give us to the count of ten," Jack commands, "then come on down." 

They swirl through the event horizon. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

The encounter with the natives does not go well. 

"Daniel, what are they?" Jack asks. 

"Well, they don't look completely Homo sapien. Uh, the larger brow ridge would imply Homo erectus, but then again, they'd have canine teeth... uh, they could be Australopithecus, but the brow ridge would be less prominent..." 

"You don't know, do you?" Jack interrupts. 

"No." 

Carter notices one normal-looking female among the cluster of cavemen and she immediately gets twitchy. She wants to rush in and help, and Jack appreciates the sentiment, but his instincts warn him otherwise. 

Daniel backs him up. "No, that's... how prehistoric males probably had sex. Forcibly. The strongest male gets to mate; that's survival of the fittest." 

"Well I call it rape and we have to stop it!" Carter is truly outraged and Jack, well, Jack has his own personal little black box of feelings concerning rape, but he doesn't want to go off half-cocked...

They get into it anyway, though, and then the people clad in white that look like something dragged off a Hollywood back-lot in the 1950's show up, bowing and scraping at them, thinking they're Gods, and before you know it, Jack's sitting in a Minoan temple, listening to some cock-eyed story about some chick named Melosha who's now 'touched' and isn't it a shame, because she's about to go all Cro-Magnon on everybody? 

Daniel, of course, is in his damn element, going on about hilk'sha underworld Gods and Jack really wants to tune him out, but that gentle voice sorta carries and gets caught up in his ears and before long, Jack's attention is wandering and his ability to think clearly about all of this gets fuzzy. 

He calls SG-1 over. "Looks like the Goa'uld aren't here and haven't been here for some time." 

"That is my assessment as well," Teal'c chimes in. 

"Daniel? Carter?" Carter agrees; Daniel looks troubled. "In that case, gear up, we'll move out in fifteen minutes." 

"Move out?" Daniel asks, as if the possibility was simply unthinkable. 

Daniel wants to stay, to learn about the culture and to help the people, so Jack has to cut him short with, "Hey, I'm a big fan of all this stuff, but art appreciation is not what this mission is all about. Get your gear together." 

Daniel looks disappointed and Jack frowns, because he's not out to win any popularity contests here, but making Daniel frown like that makes him feel like crap. He thinks maybe he can win Daniel over with a nice game of chess, if he lets Daniel beat the pants off him, which won't be too hard to manage. 

Hammond wants to know what they discovered, and, eager for a shower, a quick debriefing and home, Jack says they didn't find anything. 

"Uh, actually, sir... we found a whole hell of a lot, sir," Daniel weighs in, shooting Jack an annoyed glance. 

"Some beautiful décor, nice folks. Nothing of _strategic_ importance, sir," Jack clarifies. 

He files out, not missing the frustrated look on Daniel's face, and he knows it's going to take more than chess. They're going to have to have a _discussion_. 

 

 

 

 

In the briefing, Carter and Daniel do their song and dance about the Broca Divide and Hammond cuts the legs out from under Daniel concerning the whole science-versus- military debate, by agreeing immediately to Daniel's request for more in-depth research. 

Daniel's mouth works silent for a bit, and then he stammers, "What...what... what... I already won?" and Jack smiles because he looks adorable when he does that, sitting there in a tight black turtleneck, a glossy sheen on his long hair, his glasses perched on his nose, his mouth parted in surprise. 

And isn't that the kind of thought that will land him right in Leavenworth? 

Then Johnson goes, quite literally, ape on them, and has to be restrained. 

Hammond calls for cessation. 

 

 

 

 

Jack takes a nice long shower and shuffles into the locker room, thinking maybe if he takes Daniel to a different restaurant, he can smooth over all the ruffled feathers about this whole P3X-979 thing. 

Suddenly Carter slams his locker shut, and Jack sees skin, way too much skin—arms, neck, the apex of pert breasts and he is momentarily stunned. 

"Carter! Uh..." He pulls his shirt on with lightening speed. "Sorry. I didn't know you were in here." 

She pulls him toward her and the next thing he knows, she's all over him, tongue invading, arms wrapping around him and he can't breathe. 

"Mmmph! Hey! What the hell is going on?" 

"I want you," she grunts, kissing him again. He gets hard almost instantly. 

"Why?" is the first thing he can blurt out. Then, "I mean no.... Carter, this is a little out of line, don't you think?" 

She grabs him by the shoulders and shoves him down on the bench, quickly straddling him, and he realizes he's not putting up much of a fight, it's just that he's so surprised, and frankly, turned on, but much as he likes aggressive sex, and he likes it as much as the next guy, he reviles all games non-consensual, and wasn't it Carter who just a few hours ago was going on and on about attempted rape? 

"You want me?" She kisses him again, biting down hard. 

"No. No, not like this! Not like—Carter! For crying out loud, what's gotten into you?" 

She steals another kiss, but he gets the upper hand and rolls them over, pinning her with his weight. "Time for you to see a doctor, Doctor." 

He hauls her over to Fraiser, more than a little shaken. 

 

 

 

 

Later, in the control room, he meets up with Daniel, who's doing research, but those clever blue eyes immediately take in Jack's disheveled state. The scratches are embarrassing. 

"What happened to you?" 

Jack shrugs. "Oh I... Got in a wrestling match with Carter." 

Daniel looks at him like he's insane. "Why?" he asks carefully, not rushing to any judgments. 

Looking everywhere but Daniel, because that's just plain awkward, he replies, "She tried to seduce me." 

That little statement falls between them like a ton of bricks. 

"Oh," Daniel says. "You poor man, you." 

"Not like that," Jack assures. "She was a wild animal. She was nuts." 

"Well is she all right? I should go see her..."

Now that makes Jack so mad, he wants to smash something. _He_ was attacked and here all Daniel could think about was Carter! "Why?" he demands. 

"Because she's my friend and I care about her?" Daniel asks, like it's no big deal, like Jack has no right to be offended. 

He grabs Daniel up by the collar. "Care about her? What does that mean?" 

What the hell does that mean? He cares about _Carter_? What about him? Who saved Daniel's ass back on Abydos when the shit hit the fan? Who gave Daniel a home? Who lets Daniel crawl into bed with him and holds his damn hand every time something goes wrong? Jack, that's who! 

Jack has every right to be furious. Just last night they were at dinner, and Jack could feel the heat from Daniel's legs, could see the shine in Daniel's eyes, and things were going so well. Now all he gives a shit about is damned Carter! 

All he can think about is Daniel, pinned under him, submissive and pliant. Daniel's scent is suddenly so strong. It goes beyond his shampoo and aftershave and deeper than even the laundry detergent on his clothes—Jack can smell his _skin_ and somewhere in his primal mind he recognizes desire. 

**_Mate._ **

Daniel speaks to him slowly, like he's an idiot. "It means I _care_ about her. She's my friend. Now let go—"

Jack growls, he actually growls, low in his throat. "She's not _yours_ to care about." _I am_ , he thinks. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" 

"I'm talking about Samantha," Jack pants out. "You just stay away from her, okay?" _Because you're mine, mine, mine_ \--it hangs off the tip of his tongue, which suddenly won't work properly. 

"Okay. Okay, Jack." Daniel tries for calming but it comes off as patronizing. "I think you should come with me to the infirmary. Okay? Just let go of me... let go of my—"

Not another word gets out before Jack's punching him—hard—knocking him to the floor. All he can see is rage and the red, red stains of possession and blood and somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that he's beating Daniel savagely, but he can't seem to stop himself. 

 

 

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=004TheBrocaDivide.jpg)

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Hammond listens with growing concern to Dr. Fraiser and Dr. Jackson as they work out the mystery of the sickness that's got his people going haywire. 

Daniel's hugging himself, and that has George a little concerned. 

"I think, given recent events... I think it's safe to say that they aren't born primitive. They must have this very contagious disease. And we came in contact with it, isn't that special?" 

Jack is wearing off on Daniel already, if his sarcastic speech patterns are anything to go by, George thinks. This is going to be a very, very bad day. Fraiser comes up with a battle plan for a barrage of tests and he orders a lockdown of the base and confinement for everyone afflicted. 

Daniel's first instinct is to go to Jack. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

He is absolutely wild. 

Daniel and Teal'c sedate Jack and carry him to the bed. Teal'c watches Daniel Jackson closely. Daniel Jackson can't bear to see O'Neill like this. He decides to go back to the planet and find a cure. 

Teal'c insists on accompanying him. He feels, in O'Neill's absence, that the task of protecting Daniel falls to him. It is the way of the warrior bond, which O'Neill previously expressed existed between them. 

 

 

 

 

But things go horribly wrong. 

 

 

 

 

Upon returning, Teal'c kneels before O'Neill in the dark cell and says with true anguish, "I am afraid I lost Daniel Jackson on the dark side of the planet. I am sorry." 

He cannot tell if O'Neill comprehends him, but he sees agony clouding over the brown eyes. Doctor Fraiser informs him that O'Neill insisted on more sedation, and pleaded to be experimented on, so that she might find a cure. She tells him how O'Neill struggled to form the words, "Use me. Me," and Teal'c thinks that has never known a man among the Tau'ri braver than this one. 

 

 

 

 

He is very, very relieved when Doctor Fraiser's anti-histamines work. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

**The Land of Light**  
Jack walks into the darkness confidently, striding up to Daniel and Melosha with a far too casual smirk. "Daniel, you dog. Keep this up, you're going to have a girl on every planet!" 

Daniel attacks Carter, and Jack shoots him with a tranquilizer, without so much as blinking. Daniel goes down and it's seconds before Jack's at his side. 

 

 

 

 

They wait. And wait. And several hours later, Daniel wakes on pillows in the Minoan temple, his first word is a dry and croaked, "Jack?" 

"There's our boy," Jack says affectionately. 

 

 

 

 

Jack teases Carter about her tank top as they head for the Stargate, but he's always got one eye on Daniel, the whole time. This is definitely going to take more than a game of chess. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Back at the house, Jack plopped in the chair across from the sofa and watched Daniel sit, _perfectly_ still. Daniel stared at the floor, giving Jack ample opportunity to take in his yellow bruises and split lip, and the protective hunch of his shoulders. The worst part was that Daniel thought he was fine, thought he looked fine, that they were fine, but Jack could read him like a book. Daniel was so far from fine, he couldn't find it with a map. 

 

 

 

 

Jack had really scared him. And he could never admit to Daniel why. It was his weirdness, and telling Daniel would only add to a whole list of heavy and awkward burdens the younger man already carried. 

"You got a nice shiner," he said to fill up the dead air. 

Daniel grimaced. "Yeah; haven't had one of those in a long time." 

Jack smirked. "Thought you said you didn't get into fist fights?" 

Blue eyes shot straight into him. "I didn't start them. But I did get into them." 

Images of classmates, bigger than Daniel, grown men, foster fathers and brothers, priests, professors, all of them, standing over Daniel, doing all sorts of horrific things, flashed before Jack's eyes. He wanted to ask, he really, really wanted to dredge it all up and beat those demons down again, because Jack could probably imagine far worse than was actually the case. But Daniel's lashes were drooping, and traces of dirt and sweat and oil pocketed the creases of his eyes, his mouth. 

"Daniel?" Jack asked, voice deep and serious. He held up his hands for inspection. "I've done a lot of damage with these. I've killed men." He lowered his hands to his lap, letting Daniel take this in, and proceeded only after Daniel acknowledged this truth with a nod. "I've also saved men's lives, defused live bombs, and held my newborn son with these hands. What I'm trying to say is, I can't promise you I'll never hurt you..." 

"I know that," Daniel mumbled. 

"But I can promise you, I'll never _want_ to hurt you." 

Daniel's head comes up then, and the way he looks at Jack, you would think he'd just said something brilliant and perfect and jam-packed with meaning-of-life stuff. 

"Okay." And that's all Daniel has to say to put it behind them. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

_We went to sleep then, and I remember tossing and turning until my sheets were a net tangled about my legs, but I was too tired to move anymore. Then I remember the sunlight, a pink-orange glow in the window, and finding the covers were tucked snuggly up under my chin._

_I realized you must have checked in on me some time in the night._

_And even though all traces of my primitive mind had been safely shoved back in Pandora's box thanks to Janet's medicine, I could still smell you in the room._

_Faintly. But still there._


	6. Mandatum Princeptus

**6\. Mandatum Princeptus**

 

 

 

 

Daniel noticed Jack staring at him more than usual. He wondered if it was the bandana. Bandanas were way more comfortable than hats on most desert digs, and he'd just gotten into the habit of wearing them on missions, but the way Jack looked at him, well, it was just strange. 

 

 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=005TheFirstCommandmentB-Jack.jpg)   


 

 

Still, he kinda liked Jack looking at him. Maybe he'd wear them more often. 

He folded the green rag neatly into Jack's laundry hamper and wondered where the hell thoughts like that were spawned? 

"You wanna go for a drive?" Jack called from the living room. 

"Sure." Because he'd had nothing better to do. 

Daniel thought about their last mission, the one where Carter's old fiancé attempted to play God and thumped the bible to a bloody pulp. Specifically, he cast his mind back to the way Jack behaved on that planet, trying to discern the recent, subtle shift in the vibe between them....

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Lt. Connor pulls a gun on Daniel, but he doesn't even have time to feel afraid before Jack is right there, gun digging into Connor's neck, growling threats that he is clearly prepared to carry out. Jack has his back. 

 

 

 

 

Later that night, around the campfire, Daniel complains about the food to Sam. 

"This tastes like chicken," he says. 

She frowns. "So what's wrong with it?" 

"This is macaroni and cheese." 

Jack should have been proud of his delivery, but Jack is too busy establishing the perimeter and standing guard. He realizes that Jack has been protective of him before, in that team-leader-responsible-for-everyone-getting-home kind of way. But now, now Jack takes it _personally._ Daniel doesn't know what to think about the lingering traces of possessiveness that hangs in the air between. 

He knows how he feels about it. He likes it. He just doesn't know why. Maybe it's just nice to finally have a niche. Sha're had given him a family and a sense of belonging, but in the absence of that, Jack has given him a home. 

 

 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=005TheFirstCommandment-Daniel.jpg)   


 

 ;

When Jack says, "We got company," and a dart hits near his head, Daniel is surprised, but not afraid. He has faith in Jack. 

And as their captors lead them to the crazy man's cave, Sam talks about her attraction to the charming-lunatic-fringe-Black-Ops type, and they both glance back at Jack. Daniel silently thinks he can understand the appeal. 

Then Jack steps protectively in front of them, eventually throwing himself at Jonas, and it reminds Daniel of two alpha males fighting over the pack. Daniel never doubts that, in the end, Jack would win. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

 

"Found something fascinating in the laundry hamper?" Jack teased warmly, startling him back to the present, to the mundane, sunny Thursday afternoon in suburban Colorado. 

"Uh..."

"You're not about to spout off on the cultural significance of the cleaning habits of the North American bachelor, are you?" 

Daniel crossed his arms. "You have cleaning habits?" 

Jack pretended to look affronted. "Point to a place in this house that isn't spotless." 

Pointing to the guest room, cluttered with artifacts from Jack's life pre-SG-1, and now, housing some of Daniel's things, Daniel smelled triumph. 

"Okay, besides that." Jack grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the bathroom. "Come on, get the lead out." 

"Where are we going?" 

"You'll see." 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Jack felt a little nervous, this was a big leap. Over a landmine. 

Daniel could take it as though Jack was just being a good friend, thinking of him, and maybe he'd delight in Jack's discovery. Or it could all go horribly wrong and get messed up and things would never be the same. 

He turned off the main road and headed down a slightly quieter street. Daniel fiddled with the radio buttons—something he never failed to do the moment they were in the car, such a simple thing, but he got such a kick out of it—and so he didn't look up when Jack parked in the spot marked for guests. 

Turning off the ignition, the radio went dead and Daniel finally looked over at him. "We're here." 

"Here, where?" Daniel looked around, eyes glancing over the small apartment building landing on the hardware store across the street. "Oh God. You're not thinking of doing repairs on the house or something, are you? 'Cause I'm really not that good with that kind of stuff and... Jack?" 

Now, Jack could take the easy way out, and pretend he needed a wrench or a toilet flap or something, and they'd never have to address the issue. But the fact of the matter was, Daniel had been on Earth for several weeks, his book collection was fast outgrowing the guest room, and unless Jack rearranged the living room and moved all his shit to storage, pretty soon Daniel's stuff would leak out into the hallway. 

Jack wanted nothing more than that. In fact, he was sort of hoping that Daniel would really want to stay. And that bothered him. A lot. Because that was over a line he didn't cross, not with Kawalski, not with anyone on his team. They were getting really close, and at his age, he supposed it was normal to want to reach out and make a connection, but Daniel was young, and Daniel was married, and hopefully sooner than later, Daniel would be back on Abydos and Jack would retire. Again. 

"Look, Daniel. I don't want you to get the wrong idea, here." Jack shifted a bit, unbuckling his belt. "I want... I mean, I'd like it if... you kept staying at the house." 

Those highly trained senses picked up the moment Daniel's ribcage stopped moving, the minute he held his breath. 

"God knows I like having you around. But it's been several weeks now..."

"I see." 

"I'm not saying we won't find Sha're!" Jack hastened to reassure him. "I'm just saying, until we do, you might want a place of your own. And I have this friend, he owns that hardware store actually, and his brother is the landlord here. He mentioned they have a nice place. Nothing super fancy, but it's reasonably priced and close to the mountain. I figured we'd check it out." 

"Right." Daniel's voice sounded tight. Shit. "Of course. Jack, I'm so sorry. I should have been looking for a place, but with all that's gone on, it kinda slipped my mind." 

"You don't have to—"

"God, I can't believe how selfish... I mean, I should have seen—"

"Daniel, you're always welcome. Listen, it's not like that. I just thought that—"

"It's okay, Jack, you don't have to explain, I get it—"

"Daniel!" Jack yelled, and Daniel winced, and so Jack winced. This was so not going well. "Daniel. Listen very carefully. I will build you shelves. I will clean out the closet. I will rent a storage place. I will make you a copy of my key, and if it makes you feel better, in lieu of rent, I'll force you to do the laundry, if you want. But Daniel? It might be time to face up to the fact that finding Sha're might not happen as soon as we'd like. It might take months. It could even take... years... and you might want to think about having your own space. I'm old. You're young. I get up at the crack of dawn. You sleep until noon. I cook food. You drink coffee. Living together might be more of a pain for you than you bargained for. So all's I'm saying is, here's an apartment. Do you want to check it out? 'Cause if the answer's no, then I'm turning this jeep around, and I'm never brining it up again. Okay?" 

Daniel sat there, staring at his lap, arms wrapped around himself, and Jack wondered what he was thinking. He wondered if this was what Daniel looked like, all those times his foster families tossed him out on his ear. Suddenly Jack felt like utter crap. He turned the car over. "Never mind. Bad idea." 

Fingers curled over his forearm, tugged on his sleeve. "It won't hurt to look," Daniel said softly. 

"You sure?" He searched Daniel's face but by now a polite mask was firmly in place. 

The younger man shrugged, nodded, and unbuckled his belt. 

 

 

 

 

The apartment turned out to be a pleasant surprise. It had plenty of room to put shelves up, lots of wall space to hang art. Daniel liked that kind of stuff. Best of all, it was fast, efficient, and masculine, in a way. The kitchen was small but functional. And it had a balcony with a decent view. Plus, it was cheap. Mainly because the owners knew Jack, but Jack would never tell his friend that. 

"It's nice," Daniel murmured. 

"Yeah." Jack tapped the walls. "Solid. Could hang anything you wanted." 

Daniel went into the bedroom and Jack followed. "Pretty big," Daniel said a little hollowly. He opened the closet. 

"A little paint, a few episodes of Martha, you're all set." 

Daniel stood in the middle of the room and looked totally lost. 

Operating purely on instinct, Jack went over to him, spun Daniel around by the shoulders and got right up his face. "It's a nice place. But it doesn't mean shit if you don't like it." 

"I like it fine. It's only the first place I've seen, of course, but, so far, so good." Daniel rallied up a smile so brittle Jack wanted to punch himself in the face. 

He closed the distance and hugged Daniel hard, resting his chin on Daniel's shoulder. The younger man stood there for a moment, then hugged him back, out of reflexive politeness, Jack felt certain. 

"Daniel? Let's just go home." 

Daniel pulled back. "No, Jack, you're right. It's time I stopped depending on you so much. Time I... moved on. Got on with life." 

That hurt, a cold and heavy pain that wrapped a tight film over his lungs. 

"That doesn't mean I'm giving up!" Daniel immediately clarified. 

No, course not. Daniel would never give up; it just wasn't Daniel. "I know." 

"I just... Just... Uh, can I think about it?" 

Jack smiled and disengaged. "Long as you want. There's no pressure, Danny boy." 

The nickname got him a genuine smile. Good. They were getting back on track, here. He could fix it. It was very important that he fix it. 

On the way out he said, "Ice cream?" 

"Ice cream?" Daniel blinked. "Well, there's a non sequitur for you." 

Jack rolled his eyes. "You want to get some ice cream? I want some. And I've got the keys to the car, so..."

"Yeah about that," Daniel said, following Jack out to the hall. "If I'm going to be getting my own place, I should maybe think about getting a car." 

"I can drive you around, until you do," Jack offered, but something didn't sit right the more he thought about Daniel not occupying his guest room. 

"Thanks. I have to figure out my budget. It's nice to actually... ah... _have_ a budget. Finally. But no sense in buying anything new, cause I'll just be heading back..."

Daniel trailed off and Jack nodded quietly. There was no response to that, so he didn't even try. 

"Ice cream." He turned on the car and, predictably, Daniel played with the radio. 

"Just out of idle curiosity, is that your answer to everything?" 

"O'Neill's cure for all that ails." 

Another delicate snort. They would work this out. "At the way my life is going, I'm going to weigh three-hundred pounds." 

Yeah. Daniel's life sucked. No sugarcoating it. Jack's life sucked, too. There were these big, gaping potholes, craters more like, in their lives. The only thing they had to fill the emptiness with were each other. 

"I'm gonna make you shelves," he said out of nowhere. 

"Should I be concerned?" 

"Very. Actually, I'm pretty good with crap like that. Shop class was fun, math class sucked ass." 

"I see." Daniel found a station he liked, playing some pop-music massacre, but Jack put up with it, because Daniel liked it and Jack liked Daniel. 

"I haven't heard this song before." Sarah McLachlan's 'Your love is better than ice cream' drifted into the car. 

"They didn't have singing on Abydos, huh?" 

"Shut up." Daniel smirked. "Just for that, you're buying." 

"Fine with me. I'll foot the bill, but you have to put out." They laughed. 

Then they stopped laughing. It was slightly awkward, especially with the song. 

"Oak or mahogany?" Jack asked, switching gears. 

"Huh?" 

"Your shelves. What's your flavor of choice?" 

"Oh. Um. Oak." 

Okay. Oak would not go with Jack's house. Everything in Jack's house was mahogany. So, clearly Daniel was thinking about moving out. Jack clenched a bit in his seat and turned them onto the main road, and parked in front of Friendly's. 

"Okay." He held the door open for Daniel and smiled at the hostess. 

Daniel shuffled around. "Or mahogany? Was that wrong? I don't know... about woods. Shelves. Shop stuff." 

Daniel was utterly adorable. Infuriating, but adorable. If Jack didn't do something quick with his hands, he was gonna throttle the younger man or embarrass himself in public. 

"Ice cream," Jack said, leading Daniel to the table, his hand on the small of Daniel's back. 

Daniel started humming. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Dawn. An empty bowl sporting crusted-over macaroni and cheese sauce sat on the floor by the couch. Daniel clutched Jack's journal to his chest and bit his lip, hating the hot tears, the ones that waved a white flag, as they formed behind his eyes. 

Jack had written it down, in Ancient. Every word. And it was such a stupid thing to write, especially in an alien language. 

It was such a Jack thing to do... 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

_Your love_  
Is better than ice cream  
Better than anything else that I've tried

_And_ your love   
Is better than ice cream  
But everyone here knows how to cry

_It's_ a long way down  
It's a long way down  
It's a long way down to the place  
Where we started from

_Your_ love   
Is better than chocolate  
Better than anything else that I've tried

_Oh_ love   
Is better than chocolate  
Everyone here knows how to fight

_It's_ a long way down  
It's a long way down  
It's a long way down to the place  
Where we started from... 

_Damn it, Daniel._

~*~ 


	7. Frigere Lazarine

**7\. Frigere Lazarine**

 

 

 

 

Jack takes a look at the deserted planet. Garish yellow sand, and a sky so blue, it could serve as the advertisement for a vodka bottle. Carter and Daniel play in their sandbox, chatting happily about granite versus volcanic crystals, with Teal'c keeping silent vigil over them. 

He wanders, wanting a little space. 

Just before they left through the gate, he took stock of his team, and he noted the hopeful, almost anticipatory expression on Daniel's face. It was obvious the man had been thinking that this time they might find Sha're. Daniel had been doing a fine job of keeping the messy emotional stuff tightly under wraps. It's clear he misses his wife and will do anything to get her back, but no one tiptoes around discussing it anymore, because Daniel's adopted this quiet, almost professional attitude about it all. 

Jack knows better. 

Every morning, he wakes Daniel up with a steaming cup of coffee and he watches the man put together his composure like a child assembles toy blocks. He forces food on the younger man, then waits, somewhat patiently—for him, anyway—to finish in the shower, and then he drives them to the mountain. Daniel tunes the radio with one hand and scans the paper with the other. And all the while, Jack can feel him thronging with pain, buried just below the surface. 

There's nothing he can think to do, but go on, and hope that with time, Daniel will heal. He's certainly not going to talk about it. He'll listen, he can do that much. He's not a great listener, usually; he's more a man of action. But if Daniel needs a father confessor or a dry shoulder or someone to just fill out the silence, he can do that. If Daniel needs him to just sit quietly and shut the hell up for a few hours, he can do that too. 

What he can't do is lay his own scars wide open and trade stories about what he's suffered. He hopes that he'll never have to, because Daniel seems to get it already. 

He wanders over to a cluster of broken blue gems and touches one. The shock and pang hurtles him back, and his whole body thrums and hisses, then he can feel himself going slack, passing out. It all happens in a blur, and the last thing he thinks is _Daniel, don't touch one._

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Sam attempts to engage Colonel O'Neill in conversation, because finding him in the locker room, rooted to the bench, old photographs clutched in his hands, is more than a little unusual. She's nervous around him, nervous because he's her superior and she wants to impress him, but he's also a good guy and she wants to be on friendly terms. 

He seems absent and withdrawn and practically bowls Daniel over on his way out. 

 

 

 

 

"Jack seems very... focused," Daniel says. 

"Yeah. He was looking at pictures of his family. He must be in a hurry to get home," she explains. "I didn't even know he was married." 

"Oh he isn't...um..." Daniel trails off and Sam just looks at him expectantly. "He was, but they separated after his son... died." 

She's shocked. So shocked she can't think of a reply before Daniel leaves the locker room. She takes a shower, and puts raspberry lotion on, and she's still shocked, because how do you have something like that happen to you, and not wear it on your face like a brand, not sling it around your neck like a man chained to a prison wall? 

Colonel O'Neill is a mystery to her. Odd how Daniel seems to know...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Teal'c meets O'Neill in the corridor. "Colonel O'Neill. You are departing?" 

"Yes." 

He wishes to speak with O'Neill, to learn more of the ways of the warrior bond, more of Daniel Jackson, and more of where they live. "You said one day you would show me your world. I would like to see it now." 

"Another time." O'Neill is distant, and if Teal'c were prone to doubt, he would wonder if this rebuttal was personal. He does not know O'Neill very well yet, but he senses there is more to this than is immediately apparent. Raising his head slightly, he tucks this thought away, and heads back to his room. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel walks with Sam down the corridor, towards her lab. He likes talking to her, likes having another academic about, and she is spunky and eager and very sure of herself. Plus, the topic is one of his favorites... Jack. 

Sam shrugs. "I've known the man for months and he doesn't say one word about a life outside this place, and I'm thinking he just doesn't have one. What else do you know about him?" 

"Well, he doesn't really tell you much, until he gets to know you." And that's what they've been doing—getting to know each other. Slowly, but surely, they are unfurling the mantles, peeling back the layers, and perhaps showing more of themselves to anyone than they have in a long, long time. It's a heady kind of power, such intimacy. With Jack, you have to earn it. 

"Yeah, that's an understatement." She looks slightly annoyed. 

They reach the lab, where an assistant works on the large, damaged crystal Daniel found. Sam examines it and explains about the electromagnetic energy field, but sooner than Daniel expected, they're back to talking about Jack. 

It's normal, he supposes, as Jack is one of the most charismatic people on base. 

"So, um..." She slips on latex gloves. "Tell me more about the colonel. What happened to his son?" 

Daniel's not comfortable with this. It feels like he's betraying a confidence, and yet, it's no secret, and eventually Sam will find out. He likes Sam, he trusts her to be sensitive about this stuff. 

"Charlie... accidentally killed himself... with Jack's personal gun." He winces. Even saying it carefully, it sounds like a gavel slamming down on Jack's character. 

"Oh, God. That's horrible." 

"Jack never forgave himself." Daniel remembered him saying so, the first night at his house, when Jack gave him a beer and a little information about himself. "He holed up and turned his back on the rest of the world for uh... a long time." Jack didn't tell him that, but Daniel knew it. In fact, Daniel knew because it's exactly what he'd done, after his parents died, and he could smell the same stain of sorrow and hollowness on Jack. 

"Yeah, I can imagine. I don't know what I'd do. What about his wife?" 

Daniel tries not to think about how it feels... like Sam is pumping him for Intel. "Sara? I don't think they've seen each other since he joined SG-1. He hasn't said anything about a visit... but like I said..."

"He doesn't tell you much." 

"Right." Well, not with words. But Daniel is good and deciphering all sorts of languages, and he was learning to read Jack. 

"Right." Sam smiles, and gets back to work. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

_I can't begin to tell you how pissed off I was to wake up alone, sand and ozone burning in my nostrils, and my team nowhere to be found! Daniel, I don't think there are words for how upset I get when I can't figure out if you're okay. I don't even want to think about what you do to my blood pressure. _

_I dialed home and greeted a squadron of troops with barrels pointed right at me, and Hammond barking to know who I was._

_"Hey," I shouted, "what're you guys doing leaving without me?" Didn't I teach you better? You never leave a man behind! Ever!_

_Everyone in the control room gaped at me like stranded fish. "What's with all the ordinance?"_

_"Who are you?" George asked and I swear to God, I almost said something that would have gotten me a court martial so fast, your head would spin._

_"What do you mean, who am I? What the heck's going on here?"_

_"Good question. Take him into custody." And then they grabbed me by the arms and that was that. You just stood there. In retrospect, I can understand why, but at the time, I was this close to throttling your lovely little neck._

_After way, way too much time in confinement, and thanks for coming to see me by the way, I got briefed on the doppelganger from the planet with the crazy crystals, and Carter informed me that it had designs on Sara._

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=006ColdLazarus.jpg)   


_Sara and I were over. We were so over, it was off the page. But I am, by nature, a protector, and I loved her. I love her still. When I heard Carter say, "Sir, it was in your locker looking through your personal stuff...pictures of your family..." I don't even remember jumping up and dialing the phone number, I just remember the adrenaline flowing through my veins._

_"I gotta get there." And you both followed me out._

_When I came face to face with the Crystal, it told me some pretty damned interesting stuff, Daniel. Let me see if I can paraphrase, here._

_"When my energy hurt you...I tried to heal you...but I did not understand your injury. So I looked into your mind. I saw the mind... of a warrior. I feared it, as I feared those who destroyed my race. I tried to make you well before my mistake was discovered, before the others returned... to destroy me. I understand now."_

_What he said next ripped into my chest and squeezed my ever-loving soul._

_"Your deepest pain was not the physical injury I had caused. Your pain... was from an empty place in your heart... where Charlie once was. I thought... if I could bring Charlie to you, it would make you well. I did not understand... his death meant he could no longer exist... as flesh and blood. Physical death... does not have the same meaning... to us."_

_"Are you dying now?" I asked it._

_"Yes... I could not bring Charlie to you."_

_It shouldn't have hurt as much as it did, Daniel, but damn it, I did harbor some hope in tiny air pockets I didn't even know existed inside me. "Charlie's gone."_

_"No... He's...in here." And the Crystal reached out to my heart, but before he touched me, he became Charlie._

_"Charlie?"_

_Oh, God, Daniel. Oh, God. My little boy. My little boy stood there, right there, in front of me. Healthy and happy and breathing, Daniel. Glossy sheen in his soft hair. That tiny mouth. It was all there, all perfect, before the bullet made a mess of things. He was so fucking fragile, Daniel._

_I came undone and was reformed in the space of a heartbeat._

_I wanted my child._

_I wanted my boy._

_"You cannot change what happened that day, just as I cannot change the day that the Goa'uld destroyed my world. I'm showing you what of Charlie is still there...inside you."_

_And inside me is not enough, Daniel. It is not enough. Because I will never hug Charlie again._

_I will never read him another bedtime story, or take him to another baseball game._

_We'll never play street hockey, or go to Friendly's._

_His mother won't bake him any more chocolate chip cookies or sew him another Halloween costume._

_I won't get to lecture him about grades or girls or driving too fast with his buddies._

_I'll never see him walk down an aisle, or bounce a grandchild on my knee._

_I robbed my son of all that and so much more, because I was careless and stupid and never dreamed that an object—such an ingrained part of my life—could decimate me so easily._

_That gun; that fucking gun! I can barely touch one now, but it's my job, and I force myself to every time._

_I told him to stay away from it, and Charlie was a good kid, he always listened to me. But he wanted to be just like me, and I was too stupid to keep the bullets under lock and key. With a single bang and residual thump, his lifeless little body sprawled on the floor._

_I can still see the blood. You don't know how much blood a child can shed, Daniel, and I hope to God you never find out. Brains on the walls. On the desk. Bits of skull on the chair. Sara screamed and screamed and I picked up the phone and called it in._

_I picked up our baby and I rushed him to the truck, put him on the backseat—I never did wash those stains out, I just got rid of the truck—and I drove us to the hospital, never once going below 80. Sara was right behind me when I barged through the emergency room doors and slipped down the hallway—because he was still leaking blood and it was getting all over my shoes—and then the nurses took him from me and there was nothing to hold on to... Sara wouldn't touch me; she was hysterical._

_Daniel. I had gray matter stuck between my fingers. My son, slipping between my fingers._

_When the doctors came out, and said the words 'dead on arrival' I lost it. Sara says I howled and attacked them and kept trying to go back to Charlie, trying to make them bring him back. It was my turn to go nuts, as Sara went cold._

_She stared at me, accused me with her eyes, and I don't blame her, Daniel, I don't; she's right. She stared at me and I have never, ever, wanted to die so much as I did right then._

_My kid went somewhere I couldn't follow, and all I could think was, what if he's alone? What if it isn't good, wherever he is now? Or, what if nothing happens when you die, and Charlie is completely lost now, like he never existed, and if that's true, what the fuck does anything matter any more?_

_I raked my hands over my face, smeared myself with blood, and the doctors were talking about sedation, but I had already gone limp and slumped down a wall. The rest of it remains this black, choking whirl._

_That was the whirl you found me in, when you said, "Jack...Jack..."_

_Carter chimed in, "The radiation's still low, but I don't know for how long."_

_"We have to go," I said to the Crystal, which still looked like my son, my perfect, perfect son, and God, I would have given anything to stay._

_"Is Sara O'Neill still here?" it asked me. And so I took him down the hall; you remember this, don't you, Daniel?_

_"Sara." I said, letting her see the Crystal._

_"Oh my God..." And I knew what she was thinking, so I made my mouth work._

_"It's not Charlie...Sara..."_

_"Shh," she commanded, and took Charlie's hand in hers for a moment, fighting back tears. I think you know what it's like, to hold something you want so badly, and to have to let it go. I know you know what that's like, Daniel. I would have spared Sara that, except it would have been more awful for her not to see him._

_"Sara...I have to get him back."_

_"To the Stargate," she gulped._

_"Yeah."_

_She cried, and I held her, and I wanted to say I'm sorry, but I never could. Sorry doesn't mean shit._

_"Whatever that is. The other guy..." Sara whispered. "You know what he said?"_

_"I have a pretty fair idea." He probably opened me up and poured my guts right out._

_"We were pretty great together, weren't we?"_

_We were, Daniel. You should know. When I love somebody, I give it all. All of me. It doesn't happen often, but when it does... "We were the greatest."_

_I took the Crystal's hand, and led it out of the hospital, back to the embarkation room, and up the ramp. "Keep the lights on. I'll be back."_

_I needed you to keep the lights on, Daniel, because I was in an endless black whirl. And, of course, you did. You brought me back. You always do._

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel wiped the teardrops off of Jack's journal. He didn't want to damage the pages. In fact, no matter what happened to Jack, even if he was frozen for all eternity, he wanted this book perfectly preserved, because this was Jack at his most naked, his most beautiful. 

He remembered what happened when Jack came back through the gate. 

 

 

 

 

Daniel took him straight home, Hammond didn't even bother trying to debrief. 

Jack silently went to take a shower. Daniel sat by the table and waited, thinking about what he saw, thinking about how precious Jack's little boy looked, and how much Jack must be hurting, and then he realized forty minutes had gone by and the shower was still running. 

He found Jack huddled in a lump on the floor of the stall, his head resting against the glass. The water was ice-cold. Jack didn't even shiver. Daniel wondered if he should call Fraiser, but he decided Jack had seen enough hospital rooms for one day. 

"Jack," he said softly, shaking the older man's hard shoulder. "Jack?" 

He switched off the water and half-carried Jack to his room, then went back for a towel. Jack didn't say a word the entire time Daniel dried him off, and Daniel did his best to avoid lingering on intimate areas or make his help feel embarrassing. He could have punched Jack in the gut and it probably wouldn't have registered. 

Pushing Jack deep under the covers, Daniel wrapped him up tight—the chill of autumn was in the air. He offered tea, or coffee, or aspirin, but Jack just looked out in the distance. 

Daniel turned to go. 

He didn't even make it as far as the threshold. Without thinking too much about it, he went back to the bed and crawled in, spooning up behind Jack. 

Jack was cold and closed and rigid, Daniel remembered. But he snaked an arm around Jack's waist anyway, and flushed up against him, and put his head on Jack's pillow. "You are going to be okay," he said, over and over, hoping if he said it enough times, it would be true. 

"Charlie..." Jack whispered, and then his whole chest spasmed, and Daniel shook with the force of Jack's silent sobs. 

He held on tight. If Jack had been a woman, he'd have pressed little kisses on his neck and made soothing noises, but Jack wouldn't have wanted that, would have been embarrassed by that later, so Daniel just held on, and let Jack ride out the tempest. 

Eventually Jack crashed into sleep. Daniel shifted to get up and go to his room, but Jack turned over and dove right up under Daniel's chin. He didn't question it, he just wrapped Jack in a big hug, the kind of hug he wished for all those lonely nights in foster homes, and he closed his eyes. 

He fell asleep smelling Jack's shampoo and despair. 

 

 

 

 

The next morning, it was Daniel who made coffee for Jack, handing him a mug and noting the red rims of Jack's swollen eyes. 

"Thanks," Jack said. 

Daniel knew Jack meant more than the java, and he smiled, a real smile, because he felt true joy. Because Jack knew now, that he had Jack's back. That he could carry Jack just as far as Jack carried him. 

He had never been this close to anyone, not even Sha're. Most shocking of all, Jack didn't push him away because he was embarrassed about betraying intense emotions— and Jack had revealed some serious angst—but instead, he looked up at Daniel and croaked out, "So what's for breakfast?" 

"You'll like it," Daniel promised, getting up to go to the freezer. He plunked down two spoons and a pint of Phish Food. 

Jack finally smiled. 

 

 

~*~ 

 


	8. Ile Noxae

**8\. Ile Noxae**

 

 

 

 

P3C-117. Nice place. Sorta reminds Jack of the national parks in Vancouver, which hey, has some great fishing. It's the twentieth world they'd visited, and as far as worlds went, Jack is just happy there's not a sand dune in sight. 

The Secretary of State won't be too pleased that there're no amazing alien gizmos with which to defend Earth just lying around, but if he and Teal'c can bag an invisible flying creature and somehow synthesize its magic juice, then hey, job well done. Maybe he can get Hammond to give them some down time and take Daniel to the cabin. 

In fact, as soon as they came through the gate, Sam and Teal'c both see movement overhead. 

"Did we score already?" he asks the big guy. "I hope these things are as big as you say they are. There's enough tranquilizer in these darts to take down a rhino." Which would have been hilarious, if Teal'c knew what a rhino was...

"They are very large, but extremely maneuverable in the air." Teal'c lifts his staff weapon. "We will find them most vulnerable when they hover." 

This piques Daniel's curiosity. "It hovers? Like a hummingbird?" 

"With teeth." Was that Jaffa humor? 

They wait but don't get a bite. Jack turns around and says in a voice that betrays the sudden sink in his stomach, "All right. Where's the Stargate?" 

 

 

 

 

Jack decides to set up a box search and insists Daniel stay with him. Because if anything else is going to pull a disappearing act on him today, it sure as hell better not be Daniel. 

 

 

Just when they think they're going to take down the hovering hummingbird-cum-teeth, a blast comes out of nowhere, and guess who? Apophis. Ding, ding, ding, give the Goa'uld a prize. 

And of course, Daniel wants to shuffle off after him. 

"That's not our mission," Jack reminds him. He hates himself for saying it, but that's why it says colonel on his uniform. 

"Ah! Just..." Daniel huffs in frustration. "Forget the mission. Now he's the only one who knows where Sha're and Skaara are. We may not get another chance like this!" 

Jack can see the strain, the tight-wire tension that has Daniel almost bouncing on the balls of his feet. He sympathizes, he really does. He wants to give Daniel his way. 

Teal'c informs him that there are perhaps only two or three bodyguards, but Sam protests that half the ordinance they are carrying is tranquilizer guns. 

Daniel thinks fast on his feet. "So we use one of them to knock him out. He will wake up in a holding cell without his guards, without his technology. He will have no choice but to tell us everything we want to know about Goa'uld technology... about where Sha're is." 

That's smooth, very smooth, Jack has to admit. It's also a damned good opportunity. Still...

"Can I remind you that we don't know where the Stargate is?" 

"He will have the Goa'uld homing device I spoke of." Oh, Teal'c is backing Daniel up. No question who's the favorite on this team. Okay. Jack makes the call, and they prepare a battle plan...

 

 

 

 

Which goes horribly, horribly wrong. Their ambush fails thanks to Apophis' energy shield and as Jack leaps for cover, he takes a hit. It's a good clean shot, a shot the solider in him can appreciate, cauterizing right down to the small bones of his vertebrae. He can't move, can't speak. 

"Colonel!" he hears Carter call, and he's phasing out, but he hears her scream and hit the ground. 

And then the worst thing of all. Daniel gets up, goes after her, and Jack knows, without having to hear it, that he's gonna get it. Who knew darkness could feel so heavy? 

Jack dies, the last thought he has is of mourning Daniel and his team. His fuck up. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel slowly wakes, fingers the blast holes in his shirt and realizes he is not, in fact, dead. Although, he was. So was Sam. And... Jack! 

But now they're all here, lying on slabs of rock in a hut comprised of strange wicker strands. Fascinating. But back to the point. He goes over to Sam and feels the tears in the fabric covering her chest and she wakes up, angry. 

"Hey! What are you doing?" 

"I felt that staff blast kill me," he rapidly explains. "I mean... I thought I... I thought we were dead. We were dead, weren't we?" 

He'd seen Jack fall. Hard. 

"Yeah." Sam's just as confused as he is. 

"Okay, well, I thought heaven would be a little more upscale." Jack's humor is rubbing off on him. God help them all. 

"Jack?" He lays a hand on Jack's head, brushes the spiky hair back. "Jack?" 

Jack leaps up. "What? God!" 

"It's okay." 

"What the hell was that?" 

 

 

 

 

"It's okay," Daniel says again, the same tone he used after the crystal incident. He watches Jack take in the fact that he's alive... again... and then stands up straight when the alien woman walks in. 

Showtime. He does introductions, asks about Teal'c, tries a couple of languages, but she is completely silent. She leads them outside and gives them strange fruit and what can they do but follow? 

 

 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=007TheNox.jpg)   


 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Lya watches the humans' interactions very carefully. The young one, Daniel, tries to speak with her, but she does not yet fully understand his tongue. 

She offers them food, notices that the one called Jack tosses the fruit first to Daniel, then to... Carter, she thinks it is... and slowly but surely, their feelings, thoughts and words form a cohesive bond in her mind. 

Jack is their leader. He sits very close to Daniel, their shoulders touching, brushing, taking up each other's space as if they had known each other all their lives. 

Daniel speaks softly to him, "I think they're a family." 

He speaks softly back, "Of what?" 

"I have no idea." 

They are very young. And falling in love. But their eyes are not yet wise enough to see either of those truths. 

"Well we should ask them to give us back our weapons," Jack says, and Lya knows immediately what to expect from this point on. 

Still, they are not evil. Genuine concern and happiness rings around each when the one called Teal'c—the Jaffa—returns through the clearing. 

Anteaus promises to take them to the Stargate, and the humans are shocked at how quickly the Nox have learned their tongue. That is easy, when one can read the heart. 

Jack wants to know more about the one he calls Apophis and his guards. 

"You attacked them," Lya states. 

Surprise pings inside Daniel. "You saw?" 

"We only meant to capture them," Carter assures. 

Jack hastens to explain. "Look we're not in the assassination business, he's just...bad. Very..." 

"Bad," Daniel says. 

"Bad." Jack nods. "We just wanted to take him back to our world and have a chat with him about all the nasty..." 

Jack and Daniel both say "...bad..." 

"...things he's been doing," Jack finishes. 

They are like children. Lya has to hide her urge to smile. Do they realize how far they both have come? She knows they have no idea how far they must continue to go. 

The Nox hope they will go now, continue on their way, but Jack wants to stay, and learn more of their ways, and hunt down 'Apophis' so Lya smoothes things over by informing them that they can be on their way as soon as their brother, the other Jaffa, wakes up. 

She can feel the anxiety coil around each of them. An emotion amplified when Opher explains that the Nox do not defend themselves against enemies. Jack cannot understand this; it frustrates him greatly. 

 

 

 

 

He insists on doing things by the ways of the humans. He makes weapons, crude bows and arrows, with the aid of Carter, and the reluctant help of Daniel. Lya senses Daniel is more like the Nox than the others. She likes him very much. 

"I really don't get the point of this," Daniel says. 

Jack walks up with a bow for Daniel's arrow. "Well, if we run into Apophis again, we'll be prepared." 

"But what good are bows and arrows gonna do against that kind of fire power?" 

"Exactly how I want him to think." 

"Yeah..." Daniel sounds skeptical. 

Lya turns away, gives them their privacy. 

"Any weapon is better then no weapon when it comes to survival," she hears the woman say. 

"You guys just don't want to give up, do you?" Daniel is stronger than he appears. 

"No." And Jack is weaker than he appears. 

Lya walks away. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Jack pines after his son, who he can see glimmer beneath Nafrayu's surface. 

Daniel questions Opher, eager for medicines and knowledge and truth. 

Both of them want to save the Nox from the Goa'uld. Their intentions are good, their worry magnifies when the Nox heal Lya but expose themselves in momentary weakness. For all their concern, they are still just as hostile and rash as their enemy. 

The young do not always do as they are told, as Nafrayu illustrates, when he does not return home, but instead wanders, and is killed by Apophis' ribbon device. 

 

 

 

 

"Give us our weapons, we can defend you," Carter pleads. 

Anteaus holds up his hand. "There will be no killing." 

"All right, fine." Jack is truly angry now. He cannot understand why someone would not want to protect a child. "We'll find our own way back to the Stargate. We're certainly not gonna sit around here and watch a slaughter." He turns to his team. "Let's go." 

"Jack!" Daniel begins. 

"That's an order." Jack's words are harsh. 

"Please, we were just..." Daniel looks to Anteaus. "We were trying to help." 

"Goodbye, Daniel." 

Daniel slowly walks towards the rest of SG-1. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

"Think they bought it?" Jack whispers. 

"Almost believed it myself," Sam says. 

Daniel hides a smile. Of course Jack wouldn't leave someone defenseless against the Goa'uld. Nor would he let the only trail to Sha're be lost. 

 

 

 

 

Jack's plan is flawed, much depends on the hunch that objects thrown at a slower velocity will penetrate the energy field, but it's the best shot they've got. And it would have worked, if the Nox hadn't helped Apophis disappear at the last moment. 

"No!" Jack yells. "They'll be back! They won't spare you!" 

But all is restored as it was....

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

_Daniel, I should have tried harder on this one. I had no way of knowing all the twists and turns in the road ahead, but I shouldn't have let Apophis get away from us like that. I know, the Nox can be formidable pains in the ass when they want to, but... if I had tried harder, moved faster, maybe... Maybe we could have found you your Sha're._

_We didn't. We found each other instead. God, would you hate me if I said I won't regret that? I won't apologize for wanting it to happen the way it did. I won't even pretend I'm the kind of person that truly wanted you to go back to Abydos and live happily ever after without me. If you had to suffer, I figured you could handle it, if you handled it with me. I wanted you near me, then and always._

_I worry... maybe even as early as those days, if in the far corners of my mind, I wanted to keep you close. Maybe that's why I didn't make Apophis and Sha're the priority, when they should have been._

_Don't hate me, Danny._

_I never professed to be anything other than human._

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel trudges beside Jack solemnly, hurt that the Nox sent Apophis through the gate. His has no idea when he'll next have an opportunity to learn of Sha're and it just feels so raw inside. He hasn't stopped to really think about her in days...

"Before you go, O'Neill," Anteaus says, "there is something we would have you see." He waves his hand at the sky and a towering silver city appears floating atop purple clouds. 

"Oh my God." Jack gapes. 

Anteaus smiles. "Fear not." A bright burst of light flashes behind them. The Stargate opens. "Maybe one day you will learn, that your way is not the only way." He and Nafrayu disappear. 

Daniel thinks Jack's puzzled expression is cute. "Why didn't he tell us about this before?" 

"I think, in their way, they did." 

The city waves, crinkles, sparkles out of sight. 

"It appears they possess a form of technology far greater than that of the Goa'uld," Teal'c says, and Daniel wonders how much shit Jack will be in with the Secretary of State for not coming back with some serious answers. 

"They looked so helpless..." Sam trails off. 

Daniel sighs. Appearances. "And now they're going to bury the Stargate and we can never come back. We should've listened." 

"The very young do not always do as they're told." Everyone looks at Jack. "Just a little something the Nox told me one time. Something worth taking home." 

They turn towards the gate and head home. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

He put the journal down. Jack didn't have much else to say about that trip. 

Daniel remembered that first encounter with the Nox very well. It was the first time the science-versus-military debate came to an ugly head. The first time Jack snapped at him about it, barked an order. Something that would become a disturbing pattern, again and again, over the years. 

He knew the stakes. He knew the reasons. He kept score. It still hurt. 

But back then, when everything was so new between them, when they didn't clutch old hurts close to their hearts and couldn't conceive of harboring disdain for each other, the argument between technological or cultural relevancies seemed like just another wrinkle they would iron out between them. 

So many things got lost along the way, got tangled and twisted and snapped apart. 

The Nox had not responded yet to their inquiries, their pleas, to help unfreeze Jack. Daniel didn't have a four-hundred year lifespan to wait until they could be bothered. Frustrated, but not ready to surrender faith, he got up off the couch and went to the bedroom. 

He turned back, picked up the journal, and then went in and fell on the bed. He held the journal to him and tried to imagine it was Jack—Jack's confession, his consciousness, his soul. A book is a poor substitute for a lover. 

Daniel missed Jack. He _missed_ him. So much. 

"Jack." 

The room—empty.

 

 

 

~*~ 

 


	9. Candela Brevise

**9\. Candela Brevise**

 

 

 

 

 

**Argos**  
Daniel's attention is torn in two directions. First, his anthropological mind is reeling at all the bells and whistles clanging around this temple. It's just like walking into ancient Greece, and he says as much. 

The columns, the marble, the statue—Daniel feels exhilarated, as if he'd been transported through time. Or... to the other side of the universe, as was the case. Simply breathtaking... He could spend forever cataloging it all. 

But the other captor of his attention is Jack. Specifically, Jack in a green boonie hat. 

 

 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=008BriefCandle.jpg)   


 

 

It's beyond distracting. He doesn't know why. He wonders if this is bandana-karma come to bite him in the ass. Jack just looks so damned adorable in the thing. It's all floppy and it's got this little string, and on anyone else would look like a reject piece of wardrobe from _Mr. Roger's Neighborhood_ , but on Jack, it looks good. 

Daniel wants to wear Jack's boonie. Not a hat _like_ Jack's. _Jack's_ boonie. 

Does gate travel make one a little... nutty? 

A wail. 

The next thing he knows, he's delivering Alekos and Thetyes' newborn son. 

"You never cease to amaze me with all your talents." The smile Jack sports when he says that could melt butter at the speed of light. 

"Thank you." He feels shy, because normally Jack isn't very forthcoming with the compliments. Deflecting the attention away from himself he says, "Wow, this place is incredible. It's like we just stepped into the citadel at Mycenae." 

Jack frowns. "I thought you said it was Greek?" 

Duh, Daniel. Not everyone on board has an archeology degree. "Oh, uh, Mycenae was an ancient city in the southern Peloponnesian region." 

"Where's that?" 

_Um...._ "Greece." 

"Why do I do that?" Jack shakes his head. 

Daniel has to smile. He knows why Jack does that. He knows exactly why. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Jack can tell he doesn't have Daniel fooled for a minute. Crap. This man was gonna keep him on his toes for the rest of his career, wasn't he? Jack could just see all those precious minutes in briefings normally reserved for day-dreaming about Mary Steenburgen now flushed down the toilet. Just crap. 

Oh well. His secrets were safe with Daniel. 

 

 

 

 

Outside, sitting on the fountain, his team takes in the decadent splendor of Argos and Jack thinks that if he had any musical talent, he'd write an 'Adventures of SG-1' space opera. Everyone would be in mandatory togas. Or in Daniel's case, loincloths. 

Daniel sighs. "Look at these people. I guess they never heard of the word 'unattractive' here." 

Feeling a little inadequate there, Danny? You would be attractive... in a loincloth...

God, he's cracking up. 

"Um..." he shifts. "Do things feel a little... off... here?" 

"Are you crazy?" Daniel asks. "It's paradise." 

"Yeah, sure," Jack drawls. "Have an apple. What could happen?" 

 

 

 

 

And then Eve—er, Kynthia—comes up to him with what will forever after be referred to by Daniel as the Argosian Love Pizza, and it all goes to hell. 

He tries to offer Daniel a piece, and wouldn't that have been interesting? But Kynthia insists it's only for him. 

"It is only for you," Daniel mocks. Did he not work these issues out in kindergarten like normal children? Well, in Daniel's case, he probably never went to kindergarten. He was probably raised by a pack of half-wild camels and snake charmers while his parents played in the dirt. 

Fine. Whatever. Let Daniel tease him. So long as Carter and Teal'c don't pull that stunt. 

"I think you have a fan, Colonel." Sam smiles. 

Crap. 

"I believe this woman wishes to spend time with you, O'Neill." 

Double crap. 

"Thanks, Teal'c." 

It tastes good. Sweet. Kinda like baklava or something. Ma used to make good baklava. And cannoli. Why is everything shiny? 

Blah, blah, blah, artifacts, death gliders, Goa'uld. 

"Perhaps it was a good Goa'uld," Teal'c ponders. 

He busts out laughing. Bits of cake go flying. "Right, like there is such a thing!" 

Why is Daniel looking at him like he's mentally disturbed? Furthermore, why is Daniel shiny? Look at them. All of them. Shiny, happy people. 

"Hello, girls." Women descend on him and suddenly he's sitting on a stool watching Eve—no wait, it's Kynthia, Kynthia, sorry—twirling some sort of Halloween costume gone horribly awry and oh, look, she's flapping. Like a bird. Jack likes birds. 

Where's Daniel? He doesn't want to miss the loincloths. 

 

 

 

 

The moments following proceed in brief, pulsing flashes. He not so much _sees_ as feels. 

He's not sitting, he's lying—on top of Kynthia. She's kissing him, and her mouth is seductive, like berries and dark wine, so he kisses her back. 

Tongues. Heat. Moist, moist heat. God. Where's Daniel? 

She smells so good. He parts her legs and thrusts in, almost doesn't feel it, and then he's there, and it's so hot and so wet and there aren't alternatives. Three years have passed since he touched a woman. 

He can't tell if he's enjoying it. All he can feel is the insane impulse to rut. Drive. Deeper. He doesn't want to hurt her, never that, so he makes himself gentle, but he has to go deeper, has to bury his seed where it will take root. 

That strikes him as strange. He's never once—not even with Sara, not even when he'd used to hope for having a whole pack of kids—never once had sex purely with the desire to impregnate before. 

He thrusts wildly. 

Why isn't Daniel here? Why doesn't Daniel stop him? 

Then it's over, and he's kissing her. 

 

 

 

 

He's confused. Wiped, and confused. "What _exactly_ just happened?" 

A bell tolls, and she passes out, and Jack is left trying to make sense of his world. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

That's how Daniel finds him, too. Jack's seated on the chaise, wrapped in a gold sheet, looking dazed and freshly fucked. There's just no delicate way to think about it; Jack looks like he just screwed his brains out. 

Now, Daniel's a liberal. He prides himself on being open-minded. It's not like Daniel to think that it's totally irresponsible for their team leader to run off mattress-romping with the first pretty piece of toga to flash him a smile. It's not like Daniel to wonder what the hell Jack is thinking, having unprotected sex in the first place. Not to mention, it's not like Daniel to feel somehow _betrayed_ by the fact that Jack... felt a connection with another consenting adult and... consented... to... connect. 

Damn. Look at those abdominal muscles. 

Wait, they're talking about the villagers falling asleep all at once. Focus, Daniel. Maybe it was the food? Maybe that's why Jack...?

Jack's a grown man and a good friend, he thinks. And that is what Daniel's going to be— a good friend. So when Jack loses his balance and nearly collapses, Daniel pushes his way around Sam and helps him to the bed. 

"Oh, he's still feeling the effects of the drug." Daniel looks him over. 

"No," Jack insists. "I'm just a little tired." 

"Colonel," Sam sounds alarmed and if Sam sounds worried, it can't be good. 

"From now on we stick to rations," Jack murmurs, slumping over and switching off like a lamp. 

 

 

 

 

The next day Jack staggers out into the glorious sunshine and dunks his head in the fountain. He wipes his eyes and croaks, "I'd like an explanation. Daniel, head back to that temple. Take Teal'c with you. Go on." 

As Daniel is sincerely worried about Jack, he doesn't argue. 

 

 

 

 

The news isn't good. "I think Pelops brought humans here to be lab rats. From what we've been able to translate so far, he wanted to know how humans evolve, so he shortened the life span to about 1/250th of normal.... I didn't want to say this 'til I was absolutely certain, but... I think he may have created some kind of virus. And viruses are often spread through... bodily contact." He doesn't mean for that to come out as condemning as it sounds. 

 

 

 

 

It doesn't take them long to realize that Jack is running out of time. He watches the older man curl in on himself and collapse again, and Daniel feels sick, like when Sha're was taken, sick. 

Jack flops into Sam's lap and says, "I guess it wasn't the cake?" 

"Maybe it was your contact with Kynthia..." Sam's worried, and that makes Daniel's nerves zing and throb. 

"Get back to base, Captain..." Jack sounds so weary. "Figure this out." 

 

 

 

 

When Sam returns she says Dr. Fraiser is working on the not-virus-situation, but it will take time. 

"Time is something these people don't have, Captain." Daniel blinks. He can't believe he just pressured Sam like that, and called her by her rank. What's gotten into him? 

"Nor do I..." Jack says. 

Sam explains that the not-virus is in fact an organism, the like of which they've never seen before. She explains that Jack has hundreds more of these organisms than the average Argosian. "It-it means the organism... or what ever it is... seems to be compensating for your natural age. You've already lived way longer than anyone with this, for lack of a better word, disease, ever should." 

"Cut to it, Captain." Jack's voice is tight. 

"At the rate you're changing, by the end of two weeks, you'll be the equivalent of one- hundred years old." 

Jack's face looks like smooth stone. "So, in two weeks I'll be dead?" 

"Not if I can help it." 

Daniel wants to cheer. Yay, Sam! He loves Sam! She'll figure this out. 

"I'd like to set up a lab here." 

"Negative, Captain." Goddamn it! Now what, Jack? He hates Jack. 

"We may be able to retard the aging process long enough to find a cure." 

Yeah, what she said. 

"I want you to pack up and head back to Earth. Now." Jack looks at him. "All of you. That's an order. We're not gonna bring another disease back through that gate." 

Teal'c says, "I will remain here, with O'Neill. I cannot be affected by...whatever this is." 

"I don't need company. I need a cure." Jack scowls. Daniel hasn't seen him this gruff and gloomy since their first trip through the Stargate. "...and Daniel needs help translating that Goa'uld tablet thing. It might hold the answer." 

"Jack..." He doesn't want to leave Jack. It feels wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong! 

"And don't you dare say good bye," Jack hisses vehemently, "because you damn well better be coming back...soon. Now, get out of here. All of you." 

He walks away, leaving them all in the temple. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

The argument in the briefing room is getting out of hand. Daniel is all but frothing at the mouth as Hammond informs him that all missions to Argos will be permanently scrubbed. 

"General, you are condemning Colonel O'Neill and the Argosians to death." He has to get through to them. He can't leave Jack like that. "Sir!" 

Everyone stops. 

"We cannot just leave him there!" 

Hammond's expression is kind, but firm. "Dr. Jackson, Colonel O'Neill is one of the finest men it has ever been my pleasure to serve with. It will be a great loss to this country and to all of us in this room, but I am sure he would not hesitate to make the same decision for himself that I'm making now." 

Daniel's angrier now than he was when they tried to pull the same shit about going after Sha're. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Jack does not enjoy aging. He wouldn't mind it if it happened at a normal rate, but he's an active person, and sitting on his bony ass watching the grass grow, waiting to die and discovering new gastroenterological issues along the way, is not his cup of proverbial tea. 

He thinks he's going to die. He can't see a way out of this one. 

Taking a pad and pencil, he tries to write to Sara. But there's nothing left to be said. He tries to write to Daniel, but he doesn't know where to start. 

Jack watches the hand-held TV screen they sent him through the gate. His white hair hangs down over the monitor. He plays the message again and again. 

"The General says that gate travel to Argos is strictly off-limits for the next few, uh, millennia...but we can send objects through, so if you need anything...just call." Daniel's voice holds sorrow. He rewinds and plays it again. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

The next time Daniel comes through the gate, he staggers under the sight of Jack looking so old. And crotchety. Because Jack _would_ be crotchety. 

"Welcome back, kids!" Jack calls in a shaky voice. "Damn good to see you again." Daniel is horrified. "Don't worry. Aside from a little prostate problem that we won't go into, it's not so bad." 

Sam says that now that the transmitter and nanocytes have been disabled—thanks to a bit of Jack-inspired rebel-rousing—it should take a week or two to have Jack back to normal. Daniel's relief borders on the ridiculous. 

But if he didn't have Jack... he'd be all alone. 

He chastises himself for such a selfish thought...

But that doesn't make it any less true. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Twelve days later, Daniel waited at the base of the ramp for Jack to come on home. 

The older man jogged on through, a grin splitting his face, making him look more handsome than ever. He had that 'I've-been-naughty-but-you-know-you-love-me' smirk going for him, and Daniel had to ball his fists tight inside his pockets to resist pulling him into a hug. 

"Welcome home, old man," he said quietly. 

"Only as old as ya feel, Danny!" Jack shot back, hugging Carter and winking at Teal'c. 

"Glad to have you back, Colonel," Hammond announces. He seemed genuinely relieved to have Jack back. 

Daniel was beyond relief. That last week and a half made him _twitch._ He watered Jack's plants and vacuumed Jack's rugs, he even alphabetized the book shelves—and who knew Jack had such eclectic reading habits? What a remarkable turn-on—until he was ready to climb the walls. Funny, he never used to mind being alone. Preferred it, in fact. And even though he was a guest in Jack's house, he felt comfortable enough even when he was the only one there. 

It was Jack. The room just... got brighter, or something, when Jack walked in. 

"You must be tired," he said. "I can drive us home?" 

Jack shook his head. "Nope. I wanna drive." 

 

 

 

 

Daniel wondered if Jack would mind the fact that he'd been using Jack's jeep and had sort of reprogrammed all the radio channels. If he did, Jack didn't show it. He just drove—cruised more like—and it took Daniel a minute to realize they weren't taking their usual route. 

"What're you doing?" 

"Taking the long way." Jack flipped on the blinker and turned left. 

"Why?" 

"'Cause I got all the time in the world, Danny boy." Jack sounded so happy. 

"Okay." He grinned. "Ice cream?" 

Jack chuckled. "Been having too much lately." 

"Too much?" This did not compute. 

That got him a belly-laugh. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not as young as I used to be—"

"You're not as old as you used to be either." Bah dum dump. 

"Daniel," Jack warned. He hated puns almost as much as clichés, Daniel knew. "I'm gonna get fat and the marines are going to start making pregnant-male jokes. If we're going to have ice cream, we have to work it off from time to time." 

Painful mental pictures of complicated gymnastic equipment swam before Daniel's eyes. "Um..." He squirmed. 

"You ever play hockey?" 

He blinked. "Hockey?" 

"Yeah. You know. Ice. Puck. Sticks. Lots of lost teeth and black eyes?" 

"Jack, you do know I was raised in _Egypt_ , right?" 

"Your point being?" 

"My point being that I didn't spend a lot of my time at the local ice rink, if you can believe it." Daniel switched the channel—he was sick of that station. 

"Okay, okay, but you've been in the states since you were eight, right?" 

Daniel looked at him sharply. Did Jack read his file or something? "Yeah," he drawled. 

"In all that time, no one ever took you skating?" Jack sounded incredulous. In Jack's world every child had sports and a dog and extra helpings of ice cream. Jack lived in a nice world; Daniel loved visiting there. 

He sighed. "It was hard enough getting them to make doctor's appointments for the allergies, or take me to eye exams for the glasses. Maybe if I was lucky I'd get a ride to the library. I didn't make it to too many skating parties, but on the up side, I learned to read fast." Tried to sell a smile, but Jack wasn't buying. 

"Well that settles it then." 

 

 

 

 

"Okay, now, the first thing you gotta remember," Jack said, skating backwards, "is that this isn't the same thing as roller-skating. Think straight lines." 

He'd never been roller-skating either, but he didn't want to say anything, because then Jack would only drag him to Skateland or something. Holding on to Jack's forearms for dear life, Daniel just let Jack pull him out onto the ice. 

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this." 

"I pulled rank on you, Daniel. You had no choice," Jack assured. 

"I'm a civilian. I don't have to take your orders. And we're on-world." Eek! Eek! They were veering! Veering here! 

"Okay, then I pulled seniority on you. Plus I have the keys to the car. And the house." Jack flipped around so fast Daniel almost didn't see it, and suddenly they were skating side by side. 

 

 

 

"Can we go slower?" He hated how his voice shook, but he could just see the bills for the x-rays now. 

"Nope. Life's too short. Slow is bad." Jack grinned. 

"Sometimes slow is good." Okay. The way he said that just _dripped_ with innuendo, and he hadn't meant for it to, but there was no taking it back. Now Jack looked at him funny... and were there any holes in the ice into which he could maybe fall and spend the next few days chilling out, perhaps? 

"Yes," Jack said when he finally recovered. "Sometimes slow is very good." 

Jack came up behind him and put a hand on either side of Daniel's hips. Eep. Veering again. 

"You've got to use your legs, Daniel. Left, right, left, right, just push forward. There you go." 

"Soon you'll have me goose-stepping." Everyone say it together: Veer-ing. 

"I see a triple lutz in your future." 

"I see a trip in my future. Jack, Jack!" Daniel made the mistake of bending slightly forward and he got a nice view of the ice that he didn't necessarily want. 

Then they stopped. On a dime. Jack somehow stopped them and held Daniel perfectly still. "Daniel, relax. I'm not gonna let you fall." 

He swallowed. Were they talking about skating, here? Or were they skating around another issue? "What if I make you fall?" 

Jack scoffed. "Who me? You're looking at Moorhead High's state champion all star, buddy." 

"Is that supposed to be impressive?" Daniel asked. 

"Not really," Jack said modestly. "Left, right, pick it up." 

Jack stayed right by him, their arms locked together the whole time. About half an hour into it, Daniel found he could actually skate a straight line without taking a nosedive. Now, turning was another matter. 

"It's tricky," Jack said. "Straight lines on the skate, but you gotta edge out on a curve to make a turn. Or you could just cross your legs in front of each other and sorta zag over. You know, slice the ice. For when you've got to pass the puck." 

"Cross? Zag? Slice? Are you teaching me to skate or selling me a cuisinart?" 

Jack actually _ruffled_ his hair. He hoped the look he gave Jack could wither the fair vine. 

"You're doing really well." 

"Yeah?" Okay, that had him grinning. 

"Yeah." 

Okay. Beaming. He wasn't above a little beaming. 

"What's gotten into you, Jack?" 

The older man did that flip-thing again and skated backwards. It seemed perfectly normal— _perfectly_ normal—for Jack to take his hands up again and teach him how to take a curve. "Ah well... Had to do a lot of thinking back on Argos, you know?" Jack looked down at their feet. "Remembered how many things I gave up, that I used to enjoy, you know? So I figured..." Jack shrugged. "Next time I had an impulse for some fun..."

"I see." 

"You're having fun?" The way Jack asked that, like it was so, so important that Daniel was also having a good time, made Daniel lick his lips. 

"It's great, Jack." 

"Good." Jack made them go faster. "Good." 

Now, it was a Godsend that this place was deserted because anyone that walked in to find two grown men skating clunky circles around an ice rink in the middle of October would think they were all flavors o' crazy. But for Jack and Daniel, it just fit. 

"You're crazy, Jack." 

"Yep." No hesitation. 

"This is fun." 

"Think you'll be okay on your own?" 

"Huh?" Daniel's head shot up. "My own?" 

"Yeah. Think you're ready to let go?" Jack wiggled their arms. 

"Oh." Daniel could feel himself blush. "Oh. Sure." 

"Okay. Now look. This is a big deal." Jack looked anything but serious. "Letting go is hard for me, but I trust you to make the right decisions and I know you're gonna do fine. Left, right, don't look down, I'll be right here, okay?" 

"Jack," Daniel griped. 

"Okay. On three. One. Two." Jack dropped their hands. "Three." 

He skated. All by himself. For about ten seconds. Then he found the wall. The nice, fiberglass-encased, safe, stable wall. Good wall. Kind wall. Don't ever leave, wall. 

Jack busted out laughing. 

"Hey! No picking on the newbie!" 

Eventually Jack piped down, wiping his eyes. "Christ, that was priceless. You get any closer to that wall and there'll be a shotgun wedding!" 

Daniel hid his reaction to the word wedding, because Jack didn't mean to make him think about his wife, and for once, he didn't want to think about her either. He didn't want to think about how much of a bastard that made him. 

"I'm gonna take a few laps, okay?" Jack asked. "You're good with your new best friend over there?" 

Daniel patted the wall and nodded. He watched Jack glide, glide was the only word for it, over the ice, as if he'd been born on frozen water and never looked back. Jack soared. Jack sluiced. Jack was fucking balletic. He was...

"Beautiful," Daniel murmured. 

"One day I'm gonna get you out here for a bit of hockey, Danny!" Jack threatened. 

"First I'd have to learn how to play!" Daniel shouted back. 

Jack came to a skidding halt. Ice chips shaved and spurted over Daniel's jeans, dampening them a tad. "You don't know how hockey is played? Puck, goal. It's simple." 

"Well... I've never even seen a game. I mean, I have on TV. But I could never sit all the way through—"

"What? What? **What?** " Sputtering. Jack actually stood there sputtering. Daniel made him sputter. He was adorable! "Oh, that's _it_ , Dr. Jackson! I'm getting us season tickets. And I've got some tapes you've got to watch." 

"Jack—" 

"Ah!" Jack held up a finger. "Consider it your homework. You like learning about other cultures and stuff, it's time we taught you all about... the Canucks." 

"The Canucks," Daniel said flatly. 

Jack waggled his eyebrows. "Oh yes. Oh yes. Your ass is _mine_ , Jackson." 

This went beyond substituting Daniel for Charlie, here. Jack was serious. It clearly pained Jack to think that Daniel didn't know the first thing about hockey. He could see there was no fighting this. A determined Jack was just a solid and immovable as the wall upon which he now propped himself. 

"My ass is yours?" 

The good colonel had the decency to look a little chagrined. Just a smidge. "Consider yourself my personal protégé. I'll be your Obi Wan Kenobi. Now get off that wall and move!" 

Eek. Okay, double eek. Braving the dangers of the ice over that of a playful Air Force colonel, Daniel skated away from Jack. 

Of course, Jack had to take it a step farther and skate rings around him—literally—and how old was this man? "After all this, you so owe me ice cream, O'Neill." 

Jack smiled warmly. Too warmly. It threw him off guard and the next thing he knew his skates were locking. Jack grabbed him and they sort of rolled in mid-air, and went down heavy and thick. 

He sprawled over Jack, who had been the gentleman and taken the fall in an overly grandiose gesture that had them both snickering. "You ass," he said. 

"Hey," Jack protested. "I'm not the one that made us fall." 

"You didn't have to fall yourself, idiot!" Daniel giggled. Okay, he'd admit it; it was a giggle. 

Jack reached up and tucked a straggle piece of hair back off his face. "I said I wouldn't let you fall." Daniel held his breath. "I meant it." 

They stilled. "Jack..."

Was Jack looking at his mouth? No, couldn't be. This was way too chick-flick. Of course, now he had to look at Jack's mouth. Jack's thin, pink lips and worry lines. The specks of stubble around his strong chin. Jack had a nice mouth. Very nice. 

"Okay, Dr. Jackson, you win." 

"Huh?" He snapped out of it. 

"You win. You got me. I'm pinned down. I concede. I'll get you ice cream." 

Oh, right. "Cool." He pitched himself off Jack, and waited for the older man to gracefully regain an upright position and then pull him up. 

Jack didn't let go as they made to exit the ice. "You want Friendly's?" 

No. He didn't. Friendly's was Jack and Charlie's place, and Daniel wasn't Charlie. Plus, Jack has just gotten back to Earth and he must have been tired. "Nah. Let's pick something up and go home. I'm thinking Häagen Dazs. A quart, if it comes in quarts." 

"Why, Daniel, you're a hedonist." 

Coming off the ice made him a little trippy, but he got his land legs back quickly enough. "You've no idea. That's just the start." 

"Oh?" 

"I'm thinking we can eat it on the couch, in sweats, with the TV playing something particularly mindless." 

"Oh!" 

"I'm thinking melted hot fudge." 

"Ooh." 

"And crushed walnuts." 

"Oooh." 

"Whipped cream and cherries." 

"That's it," Jack joked. "Talk dirty to me, baby." 

They cracked up. Daniel let Jack unlace his skates. He almost took Jack's hand again and then realized there wasn't any need. 

"Okay, so Häagen Dazs with the works," Jack said, jumping into the jeep. "What flavor though? That's important." 

"Vanilla?" Daniel offered. 

"Oh, Daniel. It's always the same thing with you." Jack gave him a devilish grin. "And as classic as vanilla is, sometimes it's more fun to do something... dark." 

That would be Jack's turn to take a simple statement and smoother it in innuendo. Even more surprising was that Daniel found himself saying, "I'm game. Bring it on." 

And the spark in Jack's eyes when he said that made it all the more wonderfully worthwhile. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

_You know something, Daniel? My little tango with Kynthia and the nanocytes on Argos reminded me that life was short. But you? You reminded me that life was precious._

_You make me feel like a kid, again. It's a cliché, but there it is._

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel laid on the bed and watched the sunset. He'd slept the day away, dreaming of Jack and ice and other worlds. 

He went to switch on the light, but stilled. He shuffled through the drawers for a match and the emergency candle instead. Lighting it for Jack, he murmured, 

Out, out, brief candle.   
Life's but a walking shadow  
A poor player   
That struts and frets   
His hour upon the stage,   
And then is heard   
No more.   
It is a tale   
Told by an idiot,   
Full of sound and fury,   
Signifying nothing. 

~*~ 

 


	10. Malleus de Thor

**10\. Malleus de Thor**

 

 

 

 

Jack let Daniel spend the remainder of the evening coaching him in the art of true decadence. They sat on the sofa in their boxers, the heat cranked up so high his gas bill was surely gonna hurt in a few weeks, feet crossed at the ankles over the coffee table. 

Two pints of Häagen Dazs lay open, pooling gobs of thick, delicious, gooey cream all over his mahogany table. He didn't care. It was orgasmic bliss previously unknown to man, this. 

He insisted Daniel try his Dark Chocolate Raspberry Royale, trading Daniel for his Pleasant Peach and Mango Swirl. 

Oh fuck. It was better than sex. 

"Hmmm," he said, and Daniel answered with his own moan. This would be weird- looking to anyone that wasn't Jack or Daniel, but it made perfect sense to them. 

"Coffee?" he asked, and smiled as Daniel's ears perked up. 

"That a rhetorical question?" 

"Well, we have a mission the day after tomorrow. Didn't want to keep you up." Jack disentangled himself and made for the brew in the kitchen. 

Daniel licked his spoon with what could only be described as devotion. "I could drink an entire pot and still pass out after the day we just had." 

"You're outta shape, Jackson," he called from the kitchen. "One of these days I'm gonna make you go for a jog." 

"What did I ever do to you?" Daniel retorted, smiling when Jack brought out his tray. "You have a serving tray?" 

"Yeah. So? What are you implying? I got hair on my chest, Danny boy. Don't go making assumptions just 'cause I've got a serving tray." 

"I didn't say a thing..." 

"Oh, but you so did, my friend. Sugar?" Jack lifted the bowl. 

"Yes, honey?" Daniel batted his eyelashes. Jack sat there and watched him actually bat his goddamned eyelashes. 

"Prick." Jack put two lumps in his own cup and passed Daniel his mug straight up. He wasn't even sure why he asked about sugar in the first place, because he knew by now that Daniel liked his coffee potent, undiluted, and as pure as the virgin snow. "It belonged to Aunty O'Neill. It's very old. Wedgwood, I'll have you know." 

"Mm," Daniel said enthusiastically. "The good stuff. Course it was everywhere in London. If I knew then what I know now..."

"You were in London?" 

Daniel stilled, then stirred his drink with his ice cream spoon. "After my second doctorate, I went to visit with a friend for a while." 

"That's right." Jack sipped. Eventually he noticed Daniel looking at him. "What?" 

"You checked up on me, Jack?" 

Tread lightly here, a little voice told him. "I'm the commander of the SGC's flagship team. Of course I read your file; I had to. I didn't... pry. I just... well, let's just say to get our kind of clearance, you go through some thorough background checks." 

Daniel looked... well, worried. What incriminating secrets could he possibly have to hide? An undercover darning fetish? Hidden love of Barry Manilow records? 

"What? You knock over a bank or something? You wanna confess to me now you're a Russian spy?" Jack smiled but Daniel just stirred his coffee. "Spill." 

Daniel looked up from under his lashes. "How far back do the records go, Jack?" 

"Eighteen." 

Relief relaxed Daniel's shoulders. "Oh." 

He had to say it. He owed it to Daniel to lay it all out on the table. "Well. Yours go back to sixteen, because you were declared a legal independent and went to UCLA then." Jack cleared his throat. "The rest just says you were orphaned after an accident and you had all your immunizations." 

Daniel looked a little green. "Yeah. Okay." 

"What?" He had to press. "What's wrong, Danny?" Now, Jack may play the fool, but Mama O'Neill sure as hell didn't raise one. Jack knew that use of the nickname buttered Daniel up, and he made sure not to use it too often, but he would use it when he really wanted a straight answer from the man. 

"Nothing. Just..." Daniel put down the coffee and picked up a throw pillow, twisting in almost compulsively in his hands. "Um, Jack? My childhood... wasn't anything like yours, probably. It... wasn't always good. Some of that stuff... is private." 

Alarm claxons rung full force. Jack tamped down on the urge to tear the pillow to pieces and hug Daniel. "I get it." 

"I knew you would." Daniel smiled, genuinely. "I don't want you thinking I was locked in closets and forced to starve for days and days or anything." He laughed, that damned nervous laugh that Jack hated from day one. "More like... it was just cold, Jack. Custodial, for the most part. Clinical. And some things...were bad... But it's fine now." 

"You don't have to tell me, Daniel. I won't push you..."

"Thanks." 

"But if you ever wanna..." 

"I know." Daniel looked at him from under those long lashes again. "I know, Jack. Same here." 

"Well, don't get me started on my childhood woes. Have you got several hours?" He had to lighten the tone here or they were headed for some uncharted territories of angst. "I was always fighting with my younger brothers and my sister always got her way cause Pop was a pushover for anything that wore a skirt. It was noisy and lousy and we were always spending our days in the emergency room with broken bones or in detention. High school was a nightmare, outside of sports. It's amazing I ever made it into the Air Force. I joke that it was either the Air Force or the circus, but seriously Daniel, I'm only half kidding." 

Daniel melted back into the sofa, his head leaning close to Jack's shoulder. "You were the oldest?" 

"Yeah." 

"Makes sense." 

"What does?" 

"Well, just relating to team dynamics, you kinda... older brother the hell out of everybody." Daniel chuckled. "I mean that in the best possible way." 

"Well, that's the way I'll take it. Yeah. We were pretty close growing up. Not now though. Not since... stuff." 

Daniel nodded. "Maybe you should get back in touch." 

Jack sobered. "Maybe not." He pushed more Raspberry Royale at Daniel and raised a hand to silence any protests. 

"How come?" The question came out in a voice that sounded like a sleepy child that plays twenty questions in order to avoid his bedtime. 

"They... don't see things the way I do. About Charlie." 

"They blame you?" 

"No," Jack said quietly. "They don't. That's where we don't see eye to eye." 

When did it become so natural for Daniel to slide his arm over Jack's and just hold it there, sharing warmth? 

"Plus, I mean. The job. I can't tell them what I do, or where I go. And there's always the very good possibility I won't come back. Why worry them?" 

"Sounds like a lonely life." 

"It was." Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Way to go saying sappy, revealing crap; like Daniel needed that kind of pressure, what with his wife and all on him. 

The younger man's bangs fell forward. "Jack—"

"Don't let it go to your head, Jackson. Just forget I ever—"

"No, Jack," Daniel's voice wheezed out. "I don't... ugh... I don't feel so good." 

Jack turned to look at Daniel, bunched over in a little ball, green around the gills. He pulled the man back and took stock of the bright splotches of red rings on his chest and neck. "Oh, man." 

"What is it?" 

"You're breaking out..." Jack got up to get the phone but Daniel groaned and tightened up again, so he knelt down and stayed closed. "You think it was something you picked up on Argos? Or at the SGC?" Damn it, damn it. If Daniel would only uncurl so he could make a better assessment. "Daniel, you're sick, let me see." 

"No." A deeply felt groan bubbled up. "Oh God." 

"You can't be allergic to ice cream. God knows we ate enough of the stuff these past few months..."

"Only vanilla..." Daniel rolled on to his side. "What was it we're eating?" 

"Chocolate raspberry and peach something or other." It couldn't be that simple. 

"Ras...raspberry?" Daniel shuddered. "Oh God no..."

"What? What? You're allergic to raspberry? Well, Jesus Christ, Daniel, what were you doing eating it?" 

"Fuck off," Daniel said, which shocked Jack. "I didn't know. You said go darker, I went dark. I never used to... oh, God... touch the stuff... Shit." 

"Okay. Let's boil it down. I need symptoms, here. Your stomach cramping up?" 

"A little." Daniel trembled. "Okay, maybe a little more than a little." 

"Okay, cramps and a rash." Jack put his hand on Daniel's forehead. "No fever. You feel nausea of any sort?" 

Daniel winced. 

"Okay, that's a yes. Anything else? Trouble breathing?" 

Daniel shook his head. 

"Headache?" 

Daniel shook again. 

"You're not gonna blow chunks on my upholstery are you?" 

Laughing, then cramping, Daniel rocked on the couch. "I want... to die... Oh, Jesus..."

"Mylanta? Would that help?" What the hell did you do for allergic food reactions? "Danny, you want me to take you to the hospital?" 

"No." Emphatic. "No. Just... water. Maybe it will come out and I'll be okay. Augh..."

Jack went to get water, the sounds echoing from the living room reminding of Thetyes going into labor. Daniel was just shy of shrieking with pain. He really wanted to take him in, or at least call Fraiser, but Daniel was the one with allergy experience, here. "Okay, sip this." 

Daniel seized the bottle and chugged it. 

"Hey! You'll make yourself sick!" That earned him a glare, a glare that clearly said he should get with the program, because that was the point. 

Suddenly Daniel shot up and, head tipped back as he gulped the remaining contents of the bottle, he rushed to the bathroom. Jack followed. He didn't want to... but it was _Daniel_ for crying out loud. 

Daniel puked. A lot. Jack had to hand it to him, he had perfect aim. Old hat, was it? While Daniel finished praying to the porcelain God, Jack got a hand towel from under the sink. He eased down on aching knees next to Daniel and wiped the man's lips. 

"Feel better?" 

"Oh yeah. I'm sorry." 

"Shut up." Jack rubbed soothing circles over Daniel's back. "You think it's all out?" 

"No, but it's a start. Hey Jack?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Next time I have a brilliant idea to be a hedonist? Don't let me, okay?" 

"Sure thing. Not with food stuffs, anyway." 

 

 

 

 

Daniel threw up twice more and by then some color had returned to his face and he could stand upright. Jack made him take a shower while he cleaned up the living room, and then checked in on him when Daniel went to bed. 

"Thanks, Jack. I know you said not to say it, but I'm sorry." 

Jack could see years of this sort of thing happening to Daniel. Situations where he'd get sick or be in pain and then feel it necessary to apologize to whatever family was playing host that month, because how dare he take up anyone's precious time with his problems? 

"Daniel. I swear to God, if you ever apologize to me for shit like this again, I'll turn you over my knee, I don't care how old you are. You ever think maybe it's partially my fault, forcing that stuff on you?" 

"You didn't know." 

"Neither did you. So quit worrying. No harm, no foul. I'm sorry you felt bad, though." 

"I... I don't want to look at ice cream for a while Jack." Daniel burrowed under the covers. 

"Maybe it's time we graduated to cookies." 

"Cookies?" Daniel peeked out. "I like cookies. No raspberries." 

"No raspberries," Jack echoed. "Get some sleep. Sleep in late tomorrow. We've go to ship out the next day and I want you at your best." 

"Sir, yes, sir." Daniel gave a tired salute. 

"'Night, Daniel." 

"Sleep well, Jack." 

Jack sat in bed and read, waiting until Daniel fell asleep, then he turned off the light. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

On the mission to Cimmeria, Jack and Teal'c are transported by Thor's Hammer, leaving Daniel and Sam to spend the rest of their time tracking down Kendra, who would lead them to the cave where they were held prisoner. 

Daniel did his best to remain open-minded and even tried to be charming, but it was hard clamping down on his concern for Jack and Teal'c. 

 

 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=009ThorsHammer-Daniel.jpg)   


 

 

Meanwhile, Jack and Teal'c take a nice tour of the cave maze, dancing around an Unas that doesn't have the good sense to die when you pump it full of nice, shiny bullets. The entire time, Jack just wants to get back to Daniel and Sam, and get the hell off this Viking Twilight Zone. 

He tries his utmost to remain calm, jokes even, as he and Teal'c make their way to the exit, but he has a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach that Daniel's worried for him, and he doesn't like that. 

 

 

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=009ThorsHammerB-Jack.jpg)

 

 

Teal'c and the Unas have a nice high-noon and the disgusting creature is trapped in the beam of Thor's Hammer—hereafter known as the de-Goa'ulding device. At least he proved it works. But now how does he get them both out of here? 

 

 

 

 

Daniel and Sam show up, and Jack absolutely _despises_ the order he's going to have to give, but it's not the first order he's ever disliked giving, and it's not the first time he's crushed someone he cares about. 

Daniel's so excited when he introduces Kendra and exclaims, "The Hammer works! Do you know what this means...?"

"It's the only way out of here, Daniel," he says. 

"...what this thing can do for Sha're and Skaara?" Is Daniel not listening to him? Is this denial or just plain stubbornness? 

"Teal'c's here _now_ ," he reminds Daniel. 

"And here I will remain." Teal'c looks grave, resolved. Jack doesn't like it. "I was with those who took the ones you love," he says to Daniel. 

"No," Jack denies firmly. "You're part of this family now. We're not leaving you behind." 

Daniel looks as if he wants to say a lot more, but the words can't vessel the emotions. 

Time to pull the colonel mask on all the way. "This thing won't work in here, try it from out there." He hands Daniel the staff weapon. 

Reluctantly, Daniel raises the staff and shoots the Hammer. His face... 

Blue light ricochets around it. He can't believe Daniel's strength at this given moment. 

"Did it work?" Carter asks. 

"There's one way to find out." He walks through and waits for Teal'c. Teal'c pauses before stepping through the Hammer, but he comes out okay. 

"Thank you, Daniel Jackson," he says as he takes the staff from Daniel. 

Daniel gives another valiant attempt to look like he's not broken-hearted. It's an expression Jack knows far too intimately these days. "Well at least we know it can be done, right?" 

Poor Daniel. Jack feels like shit. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

_Do I have to say anything about Thor's Hammer? You already knew it couldn't have played out any other way, right? I'm just sorry about the whole mess. Sorry that you're the type of guy that would understand, but still hurt about it. At least back then, I could be there for you in a way I can't be there for you now. I've let you down and left you behind so many times, Daniel._

_Seems like we're always saying goodbye._

_Lately we haven't said anything... except harsh words at the top of our lungs._

_I wish we could go back to the way it was. You remember?_

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Oh, Daniel remembered. 

 

 

 

 

He remembered holing up in Sam's lab for as long as possible, pretending to study Goa'uld and translate the Norse runes. Cataloging whatever's handy. Sharpening his pencils. Anything to avoid Jack or Teal'c. 

It wasn't their fault; he knew that. He was just so damned frustrated. 

"You ready to go?" Jack said quietly, leaning on the doorframe. "It's late." 

"I can crash on base." 

"Danny..." Jack sounded like the thought wounded him, for real. 

"I've got a lot of work." 

"Look, you're angry at me; I get it. But this stuff will be here for you tomorrow. I know you. You'll do this shit all night and drug yourself with caffeine to make it through the next day. Not good for you, Daniel." 

"Jack," he said icily, "this stuff is not shit. And it may come as a shock to you, but you're not my keeper. I don't need a babysitter. Thanks for the offer, I'll be fine." 

"Fine." Jack's lips pressed into a thin line as he spun on his heel and stalked off...

Two minutes later he was back. He walked in and sat on the stool next to Daniel and didn't say a damned word. 

Finally it got to Daniel. "What?" 

"I'm not leaving." 

"Oh, come on." 

"No. I'm not. You can stay here and play with your alphabets 'til dawn, but I'm not going. 'Cause I _know_ you're going through some heavy stuff right now, Daniel, and eventually it's gonna have to come out." 

"It's not your problem." 

"You're on my team! It is so my problem!" Jack was angry, but he controlled it well. Fires banked, temper leashed, Jack just sat there and stared expectantly at him. 

"You waiting for me to unburden myself to you?" He couldn't keep the sneer out of his tone. "Hope you don't grow mold." 

Jack waited. 

And waited. 

Was the man even breathing? 

Daniel couldn't work like this and if he went to the bunkroom, Jack would just follow him there and stare at him while he tried to rest. Infuriating. 

"Go away." 

"Not gonna happen." 

He huffed. "Fine. All right. Here's the thing. I know that we had to get Teal'c out, I just don't see why we couldn't have at least tried to think of other ways first." 

"Okay. Like what?" 

"Explosives, maybe. Another route. Contacting Thor himself. Maybe there was a combination lock or something. Given some time, we might have found a better choice. But you didn't let me give you any alternatives, and now the very thing that might have saved Sha're... saved Sha're..." He teared up at her name. "You made me break it with my own two hands... I failed my wife." 

"No. You saved a friend." Jack's eyes were a soft liquid brown, then. "And some things are meant to be, Daniel. Teal'c saved us on Chulak; you saved him on Cimmeria. Maybe next time around, he'll save Sha're. Who knows? You can only do your best, with the best of what you have at the time. Don't beat yourself up, Daniel. She wouldn't want you to do that to yourself." 

Daniel hung his head. "You're right." 

"Can I get it in writing?" 

He smirked. "I'm tired, Jack." 

"Let's go home and go to bed." 

"No, I mean, I'm tired of—"

"I know what you meant, Daniel. Bed is the best I can offer you right now." 

He liked how surprisingly honest Jack could be sometimes. "Okay. Sounds good." 

They got up, Jack digging his keys out of his pocket with one hand, and slipping an arm around Daniel's shoulder with the other. Daniel leaned into the embrace just a bit, drawing from Jack's strength. 

"You want to drive?" 

"That's touching," Daniel said, "but I know how you fret about your baby." 

"Hey, I trust ya, Dr. Jackson." 

Daniel smiled, thought about taking the keys and tormenting Jack by driving home like a lunatic. But Jack was serious—he did trust him. Daniel vowed never to betray that. "It's okay, Jack. You lead, I'll follow." 

Jack smiled. "Okay." 

 

 

 

 

The candle burned out. Daniel wrapped himself around Jack's pillow. It was losing the musk of Jack's scent already. 

 


	11. Cruciatus de Tantalise

**11\. Cruciatus de Tantalise**

 

 

 

 

Daniel's neck aches from watching hours and hours of sepia-toned footage that has been transferred from analog fiche to videotape. He almost doesn't hear Jack come in the briefing room.

"You know, we're supposed to be at that physical assessment thing," Jack says behind him. 

He doesn't look up. Jack's been going on and on about that getting fit ever since the ice- skating incident. "Oh, yeah. I'll.. uh... I'll go. I'll go. I just... just... um... let me finish this reel." 

Jack's quiet, but Daniel knows it won't last long. "You know, you seem a tad obsessed with this stuff." 

Daniel continues to stare at the TV. Why is it so hard for Jack to understand that Daniel actually _enjoys_ studying, delving, chipping away at a mystery until he actually understands it all? "This was transferred from film of experiments done on the gate in 1945\. You don't find that the least bit intriguing?" 

"Oh yeah! Nothing piques my interest more than repeated failure." The sting of Jack's sarcasm is ebbed by his warm tone. 

"Look at them," he says. "They're turning the gate manually, for God's sake. It's incredible." 

"How many hours of this stuff have you looked at?" 

Jack's mother-hen routine gets on Daniel's nerves lately. True, he hasn't enjoyed the concern and protection of a family for over twenty odd years, and he's grateful Jack thinks of him like that, but really, it's not like he didn't manage to take care of himself all those years before Jack knew him. "There's no conclusion to the file. There's no summary, no notes. No reason to explain ... why they gave up." 

Daniel doesn't want to give up. Anything. Ever. 

"There are whole boxes of material that could be missing." Jack's trying to get Daniel down to the infirmary as quickly as possible, he knows that; but this is important. 

"No, the Pentagon said this was everything." 

"Oh, please," Jack snickers. "The Pentagon's lost entire countries. Come on." He pats the side of Daniel's chair and heads out. "Doctors have two days of tests planned for us. Wonderful tests!" 

He's stopped listening. Watching intently, he sees the Stargate activate and the event horizon shimmers as a single man in an old diving suit makes his way up the ramp. 

Oh shit. "Um...Jack?" 

Jack gapes. "That's impossible." 

"Obviously, not. This doesn't make any sense." Daniel frowns. "Why wouldn't they have told us this? I mean, why would they stop their research if they managed to turn it on?" 

On screen, the wormhole disengages and the air hose and rope are severed on the ground. One of the technicians picks up the tubing and the film ends abruptly... as if broken. 

Daniel thinks it. Jack says it. "Holy cow." 

 

 

 

 

He immediately goes to see Catherine. Jack drove him to the airport and wished him a  
safe journey, and now he's standing in Catherine's living room, snooping through her  
archeological treasures, thinking of all the things he'd like to accumulate, if he had the  
space...

"My God," she says, and he flips around. 

"Oh, um. I'm sorry." He feels so sheepish all of a sudden. "I hope you don't mind." 

She hugs him, and Daniel thinks she's the closest he's come to having a grandmother in a long, long time. "How long have you been back? My God. Why are you back? Colonel O'Neill told me you'd stayed on Abydos." 

So, Jack had lied to Hammond and West but told Catherine the truth. He silently thanks Jack for that. 

"I see you... you got the amulet." His eyes wander to it. Jack kept his promise. Daniel knew he would. 

What he has to say now isn't going to be easy...

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

They wait in the briefing room, Daniel smiling uncertainly at Catherine.

He can hear General Hammond shouting before he even makes it in the room. "Have you completely lost your mind? Who authorized you to reveal classified information to a civilian?" 

Crap. Sometimes he hates working for the military... "Sir, if you will just let me explain—"

Hammond barrels over him. "This is a serious breach of protocol. These rules exist for a reason, Doctor. Do you think you're above them?" 

Oh boy, he's in so much trouble! "No, no! I—"

Just then Jack strolls in, Teal'c in tow. "Catherine!" 

"Hello, Jack," she says fondly, shaking his hand. 

"It's good to see you again. I trust the General is making you feel right at home?" Good old Jack, always slipping one under the wire. 

"So far, he actually sounds worse than General West." Thinking back, Daniel realizes that at this moment, he does. Of course, Daniel never broke classified protocol with West so, it's a moot point but... 

"Ah. He's a teddy bear." Jack winks. 

If possible, Hammond gets more agitated. "Colonel, did you authorize Dr. Jackson to reveal classified information to this civilian?" 

Oh, he hopes this doesn't land Jack in a huge mess. 

"Absolutely not, sir!" Jack says, as if the very thought is repugnant to him. "In fact, I advised him _not_ to say anything to her, in _spite_ of the fact that she used to run the entire program and is responsible for most of our current knowledge about the gate." 

Really, Jack could just be so cool. 

"I'm aware of who she is, Colonel." Ah, Hammond's calming down. Better help matters along. 

"Catherine," he deflects. "This is Teal'c. Teal'c, this is Catherine." 

She leans across the table to shake Teal'c's hand. "Daniel's told me all about you. Such a pleasure." 

Teal'c bows and they sit down. 

"Colonel?" Hammond says. "Are you aware of the request Dr. Jackson has most currently tabled?" 

Oops. He probably should have leveled with Jack about his intentions before getting on the plane. 

Jack stares pointedly at Daniel, then wags a finger at him. "You gotta go that one step further, don't ya?" 

Well, show time. "The man who went through the gate in 1945 was Catherine's fiancé. Now, I have the address of the planet he went to, and we can go there..." 

"And I'm going with you," Catherine says. 

Is that the sound of the other shoe dropping? Daniel makes his argument, assuring everyone that because the address Dr. Littlefield went to was not on the Abydos cartouche, it's most likely the Goa'uld never went there. 

This isn't about the Goa'uld, or Sha're, or even technology, although that's what Teal'c is saying to the General. It's a chance to explore, a chance for Catherine to get some answers, some closure, Daniel thinks. A chance to explore the unknown. 

 

 

 

 

Not too long after that, Jack and Daniel help Catherine through the gate.

On the other side they find a broken down palace and a very naked old man. 

"Oh, my," Sam says. 

"Oh for crying out loud," Jack mutters. 

Daniel blinks. "Dr. Littlefield? Ernest? I'm Daniel Jackson. We just came through the Stargate." Ernest prods his shoulder. "We're real," he assures. 

Suddenly the man throws his arms around Daniel and begins to sob. "It's about time!" He moves on to embrace Jack, who freezes up. 

"Whoa!" 

Sam slides out of the way with a squeaked, "Oh, boy," and Teal'c just raises his eyebrow. "Daniel," Jack says, like this is all his doing. "Do something." 

"Uh, Dr. Littlefield?" But by then Ernest and Catherine's gazes lock. 

"Catherine?" Ernest says, then gives a little, "humph," and disappears into another room. 

Jack looks at him like it's all his fault for wanting to come here, and Daniel just shrugs. He better go find out what's going on...

 

 

 

 

It's Heliopolis! A gathering place of great power. A Mecca of alien knowledge, culture,  
history. Astronomy. Philosophy. Language. Oh God. Daniel can feel it, along every  
synapse of every nerve—this place holds the answer to meaning-of-life mysteries.  
It's all he's ever wanted. The find of a lifetime.

But the storm approaches, and predictably, Jack starts in. 

"Now, look, kids," he says, and that is really starting to grate on Daniel's patience. 

"We're right on the edge of a cliff, here. I don't think this place could withstand another big hit." 

"We must take our leave," Teal'c says. Why is it that in battle these two will risk their necks doing the most asinine maneuvers, when they think it's necessary, but when the scientists think it's important, it's too risky? 

"No, we can't. Not yet. I mean, we've... we've only begun to explore this place. Figure out what it is, what it used to be." He pleads with his eyes, because that usually works on Jack. 

"We launched a survey balloon." Daniel wants to smack him. "Now, let's take the professor and Catherine home. We'll leave the probe here, let it monitor the situation until the storm blows over, and then we'll come back. All right?" 

He knows Jack is trying to accommodate everyone, but he really doesn't feel right leaving yet. 

 

 

 

 

Jack moves to the DHD and curses when he finds the crystals are broken. They're  
trapped here. The _look_ on Jack's face.

 

 

 

 

Outside the storm rages.

 

 

 

 

Hours later, tired from helping Jack move broken pillars while Sam and Teal'c work on  
repairing the crystals, Daniel follows Ernest to the repository.

There he discovers the data pedestal. Once Jack touches it, brilliant balls of translucent light swirl in a slow circle above their heads. Gradually, he comes to understand. They aren't symbols, they're holographic representations of atoms! 

"The basic elements are what make up the universe. They are the basic building bl—" He's so excited he can barely breathe! "Of course! How do you ensure universal communication?" Jack stares at him blankly. "You reduce the method of communication to the most basic elements common to everyone and everything that exists in the universe. Jack, this is a true universal language." 

Come on, Jack. Why aren't you thrilled about this? You get it; you have to get it, Daniel thinks. "Daniel," Jack says, "before your head explodes, may I remind that we've got more important things to deal with right now?" 

He spins around. "How can you say that? Don't you know what this could mean?" "Actually, no." He hates it when Jack plays stupid. Hates it. 

"This could be the key to understanding our existence. Everyone, everything's existence." Ernest hobbles closer. "A collaboration of the knowledge of these four alien species." 

"None of which will mean squat," Jack grounds out, "if we don't get out of here." 

Okay, he has a point. But it's a very aggravating point. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

  
Daniel? Have I ever told you how stubborn you can be? I just want to make sure you  
understand—you're a pain in my ass. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Jack leaves him to help Sam and Teal'c brainstorm about how to fix the DHD. Ernest  
shows him the Norse runes and he explains about Thor's race.

That's when Jack, Carter, Teal'c and Catherine descend the stairs to the repository. Daniel acknowledges them, eventually. 

"What's up, guys?" His gut tightens at the grim expression on Jack's face. 

"Step away from the pedestal, Daniel." 

"What?" Daniel looks around. "Why?" Sam's face is pinched. "The dial home device just fell through the floor into the ocean." 

Oh fuck. "So what are we going to do?" 

"That thing may have a power source in it that we can use to get the gate working," Sam says. He can see in her eyes that she's sorry to have to say it, but the realist in her is prepared to go ahead with it. 

He's appalled. Utterly appalled. "Uh... No! You don't understand. This book may contain knowledge of the universe. I mean, this is... this is meaning-of-life stuff. I have to get more of it down on paper before we leave." Time, he needs time. He needs alternatives. "There has to be something more you can use." Think, think. "What about using energy from Teal'c's Staff?" 

Sam's smile is brittle. "It isn't powerful enough." 

The storm rages—pounds—crackles around them. 

"Daniel, please," Catherine says. "There's not much time. We have to get inside that thing." 

Jack takes the reins. "This whole place can join the DHD at the bottom of the ocean at anytime, so _please_..." He indicates that Daniel should move away. 

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't crushed. But it was four against one. "Great," he says, his voice dead. "Shoot it." 

Daniel walks away in disgust. Teal'c aims his staff weapon and shoots the device... Nothing happens. 

He could kill Jack, just kill him. "Now what?" He's so mad, he couldn't even rant if he wanted to, right about now. 

Jack studies the device as thunder booms loudly around them. "I'm obviously no scientist, but uh, couldn't we use that Ben Franklin thing?" 

Yes, Jack. Brilliant. Where was that brilliant idea _before_ you blew the book all to hell? 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

__  
While you were sulking in the bowels of the repository, Ernest and Catherine did some  
catching up. I overheard them, Daniel. 

Ernest compared you to Tantalus, the king in Greek mythology that was banished to Hades, and forced to stand in water that receded when he tried to drink. 

"Everlasting, unending temptation," Catherine said. 

"He was reaching for something that was... um... out of reach," Ernest agreed. 

Christ, I know how that feels. But not the way you think. 

"Some might say that's what makes a man great," Catherine responded. "If we all accepted what was within our grasp—" 

There was a time when you were in my grasp. A time when I reached out with nothing but courage and desire, and you reached back. After all this time, I can still remember the feel of your lips on mine for the first time. I can't believe I had that with you. I can't believe I let it go. 

"Sometimes what we have is of more value," Ernest said. "It takes a great man to recognize that." 

I hate this meaning-of-life stuff, Daniel. Hate it. But as this alien mojo takes a firmer root in my mind, things suddenly become so clear, less painful. 

I had you, Daniel. Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of that. I forgot to value you. I lost you. 

I'm not a great man. 

But you are. 

That's why I'm hoping you'll forgive me. Even if we never see each other again. I'm hoping you'll forgive me... 'Cause I just can't forgive myself these days. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Ernest makes his way down the steps as Daniel furiously scribbles notes in a large book.  
"You have to come," Ernest urges him. "Now!"

Damn it. "Not yet. Come and get me when they've got the gate running." 

"There isn't enough time." 

No one understands! "I have to finish this." 

"It's not worth it." The old man trembles. 

How can he say this? How? "This is." 

"Nothing is." 

"Well, our history as a people would be very different if everyone felt that way." He knows his tone is condescending but it's really beyond the pale. 

Ernest grabs Daniel's arm. "No prize is worth attaining if you can never share it! There would be no _point_! Believe me." His face is a withered mask of pain. "I know." 

Daniel looks hard at Ernest. 

Jack... Oh God, where's Jack? 

 

 

 

 

The older man races down the stairs. "Come on, boys! We gotta go now!"

No. He can't. He can't yet. He hasn't accomplished anything _worthy_ yet. "I'm staying." 

"What?" Daniel has never heard Jack use that tone before. 

"Look," he hastens to assure Jack, knowing the man's protective instincts are stretched to the limit. "I will be fine down here." 

"Daniel, we can come back." Jack's trying a new tactic, and Daniel appreciates it, but it's not going to work. 

"No." He shakes his head. "What if the castle crumbles around the gate? I mean, this... this could all be lost. If I stay I could unbury the gate again." 

Jack looks at him like he's crazy. "What if the gate falls into the ocean?" He moves closer, instinctively. 

Let go, Jack, just let go. 

"I'm willing to take that risk!" 

"I'm _not_!"

Oh. Oh... The moment hangs between them like a sliver of moonlight, visible but intangible, beautiful but not substantial enough to act on. 

Frustrated, at Daniel and probably himself, Jack grabs him by the scruff of his neck. "Let's go!" Jack pulls Daniel away from the device and toward the stairs. 

"Jack!" 

Jack stops, not letting go, just looking at him intently. 

He implores with every fiber of his being for those brown eyes to really see he means it. " _Please_."

He knows he's put Jack in an impossible position. The proverbial rock and hard place. Now it comes down to one crucial factor—does Jack trust Daniel enough to make his own decisions? 

He releases Daniel, allowing him the choice. 

Daniel makes his way back over to the device, looks at it momentarily, and then up at the rumbling ceiling. Jack waits. And waits. Jack's not leaving. Jack's not going to leave him. 

He stays, Jack stays. 

That's the decision Daniel's making. 

Goddamn the man. 

He picks up the book and the notes that fell to the ground. He turns his back on it all, and Jack follows him as they make their way back to the surface. 

They make it back, just by a hair. And when they dial the gate again, Daniel is crushed to discover that the seventh chevron will not engage. He sits down and does his best to keep his game-face on. 

"Well, I think it's safe to say the place is gone." 

Yes, thank you Jack. You were right. How sweet does the victory taste? 

Ernest tries to cheer him with, "You still have my book." 

"Captain Carter's working on a computer model right now," Catherine rallies. 

"And here's the bright side: You're alive." Jack levels him with his eyes. 

"Yes," Daniel admits. "Thanks to you," he says to Ernest. He pointedly does not look at Jack. He's not ready to go there. 

Ernest grabs Daniel in up in a huge hug, and Daniel has to laugh. 

"Catherine!" Jack calls. "Hug me." 

They embrace. "Oh, Jack!" 

Catherine and Ernest share a fond look, and as they wrap wrinkled old arms around each other, Jack and Daniel smile appreciatively. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

_I wanted to hug you, then, you know. You stubborn son of a bitch. I want to hug you  
now. _

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel always knew he had been too hard on Jack about Heliopolis. Jack just wanted to  
guarantee his safety, as was his duty, being both leader and friend.

Daniel just didn't like having to compromise. All his life was a string of compromises. 

In retrospect, he realized, he'd been the one to pull away first. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

He sat on the coffee table, staring out at the bleak rain as it splatters against the patio  
doors. His coffee was cold and he ought to put it down, but even the smallest movement  
takes too much effort.

What the hell was he doing here? 

Seriously, what was he _doing_? It's been months and months without a trace of Sha're or Skaara. He's living out of two suitcases and a closet and bed that don't belong to him. He's working for a covert military operation that doesn't give a crap about his responsibilities or expertise, beyond what he can do to help them procure super space weapons. 

What choice did he have? He's just now building up a bank account. His final documents have just been recovered and put in order after his 'sabbatical' on Abydos. The academic community would lynch him if he tried to find a dig or get a grant now. He had no friends. No family. Well, Nick, but he's not going there. 

He's got nothing to hold on to but this mug of cold coffee. 

"Hey," Jack said softly. "You want some lunch?" 

Daniel stared at the rain. "No." 

"You haven't eaten since we've been back." 

"I am aware of that, Jack." 

Jack sighed. "What do you want, Daniel?" 

He shrugged. What did that matter? 

Jack folded his arms. "What can I do?" 

Looking at Jack, he can see the older man really does want to help. It occurred to him that, in giving Jack a bit of a cold shoulder, he'd left Jack all alone, too. 

But that was just warped. They were far too codependent as it was. 

"You want to help me?" 

"Yes," Jack said eagerly. 

"I need you, Jack." He swallowed. "I need you to help me move into an apartment." 

Clearly, Jack had not expected that. Daniel could tell because Jack's face immediately went slack, betraying nothing, a sure sign that he was upset. He just stood there, silent. Very upset. 

Daniel spoke with his eyes. Please, Jack. Please see that he needed this. Needed his own space, his own life, his own choices. Please see that with a single hard look or harsh tone, Jack could wound him like no one else, and that meant they were too close, too close, and it was too confusing and it shouldn't be happening. Please see that he was lost. And only he could find his own way. 

"Okay," Jack said, just like that. "Okay..."

Daniel looked down at the black liquid sloshing around in his mug. His hands were shaking. It felt like they were breaking up or something. His heart pounded. It was like a train speeding along a track, headed right over a cliff. 

"Jack..."

"I'll put in a call to Earl," he said quietly. "See if that one we saw is still available." 

Daniel nodded because he couldn't think of what else to do. 

"You'll need furniture," Jack said suddenly. He still hadn't moved from his place beside the table, beside Daniel. Jack was in shock, and pretending to be okay, and Daniel knew that, and he felt horrible, but he was convinced this was the right thing to do. 

He couldn't be Charlie. And Jack could never be his parents. He couldn't take Sara's place. And Jack could never be like Sha're. They would have to work out a space in each other's lives that previously never existed. And they could do that—could be best friends—if Daniel stopped living in Jack's house, eating Jack's food, living Jack's life. 

If things kept on this way, Daniel would just come to resent Jack, for not being able to be himself. 

"Oak, right?" 

"Huh?" 

Jack cleared his throat. "You said you liked oak?" He took Daniel's mug and turned to go to the kitchen. "I know a place or two we might look. We can rent a truck, easy." 

Daniel got up and followed Jack, drawn like a leaf down a whirlpool. "I'm sorry to put you out." 

"What did I say about that sorry crap?" Jack started washing the mug. 

"That you'd spank me." He gave Jack a tiny grin. Jack answered with one of his own. 

"Daniel..." Jack crooked a finger and Daniel came closer. With a childish smirk, Jack wiped his wet hands down the front of Daniel's shirt. 

"Wha—Hey!" 

"Serves you right!" Jack flicked water in his face and turned back towards the sink. He gripped the sides with both hands, switching moods suddenly. "I know you're not a kid, Daniel," Jack said out of nowhere. "It's just hard... not to care too much... you're on my team..."

Daniel put his hand on Jack's arm, momentarily forgoing revenge for his shirt. "I know, Jack." 

"Wet tee-shirt is a good look for you," Jack mumbled. 

Daniel smiled. Jack would let go. They would readjust. They would be okay. "Yeah?" He batted his eyes a bit, all the while reaching for the nozzle of the spray-hose. 

"If I were a different sort of man, you might have to fear for your honor, Dr. Jackson." Jack chuckled. 

Daniel raised his eyebrows. "Really? Well, let's see what I can do to put out that fire." He turned the water on and sprayed Jack—full force—right in the crotch. 

Jack _squealed_. Like a _girl_.

"Oh, Daniel Jackson," he said, advancing on Daniel, dripping wet, murder gleaming in his eyes. "You're going to regret that." 

Daniel grinned. He doubted it. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel missed the feel of Jack's warm skin, flushed up against his back on those lazy  
Sunday mornings. Daniel missed the way they used to do a million little things in synch—  
Jack would wash the dishes, Daniel would dry; Jack would drive, Daniel would read the  
map; Jack would listen to opera, Daniel would watch the Discovery channel with the  
sound off—but most of all, he just missed the golden moments they had, when they both  
lived in this house.

This house. Filled with so many memories. Filled with Jack. 

Daniel wanted him more than Heliopolis. More than Sha're. More than enlightenment. More than anything. 

His hand reached out, grasped air, then fell back on the journal. 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

_You torment me._

 

 


	12. Genus

**12\. Genus**

 

 

 

 

Daniel had become an expert at packing. He could fit so many things in so tight a space,  
it should have been considered for the _Guinness Book of World Records_.

Years of practice. Digs. Foster homes. Shelters. Dorms. And the village on Abydos was nomadic during half the year. 

Plus, it wasn't like he had much to pack. Two suitcases, a handful of shopping bags with his new clothes, a few boxes of books and artifacts from the SGC, another box of books that Jack had picked up for him—he really ought to thank Jack for doing that, for 'feeding his head,' as Jack called it. 

He sighed. Jack was always thinking of him. He felt like an ass, moving out this way. But he had to because... because his feelings for Jack were veering in a totally inappropriate direction. They were too close; he needed space to think. 

"You 'bout done?" Jack called from the hallway. 

Daniel looked down at the black trash bag that held his dirty laundry. That was everything. He reached up and brushed a finger over one of the model airplanes. Everything that was his. 

"Yeah." 

"I got the flatbed hooked up." Jack smiled at him, but it didn't meet his eyes. 

"Yeah, Jack, question? I don't have that much, why did you rent a truck?" 

Now that got a real smile. A devilish smile. "I got you a surprise." 

Dread—a feeling Daniel now knew intimately, inspired by those five little words. "Oh? Dare I ask?" 

"Better show you. 'Specially since I'll need your help." Jack stepped behind him and led him by the shoulders through the house and to the garage. "Go ahead." 

Daniel opened the door—and saw a magnificent triple set of shelves, made of oak. The wood had been stained, somewhere between a tanned balsa and a dark brown— something that would match with Jack's stuff, and yet, still retained its own character. They were gorgeous works of true craftsmanship. 

"Ya like 'em?" 

He walked around them, noting the scalloped border at the top, and then little etchings on the sides, at the bottom. "Jack?" 

"Hm?" 

"These are chevron symbols..."

Jack looked down at his shoes and nodded to the floor. "Ah, yeah. They're the address to Abydos. So you always have a little piece of home..." He shrugged, wincing. Daniel knew how much Jack hated to say anything remotely sappy like that. "So, are they okay? 'Cause I mean if you don't want them, they can stay—"

"I love them!" Daniel blurted. He blushed because the intensity with which he spoke would give Jack the wrong idea, but it was too late to swallow the words back. "It's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me." 

"Well, shucks." The skin around Jack's eyes crinkled. "We're gonna have to make sure stuff like this happens more often then. Jeez, they're just shelves." 

"No," Daniel said, skimming his hand over the smooth wood. "They're you." 

Jack cleared his throat, clearing signaling to Daniel that he did not sail in such deep waters, and Daniel stopped groping the shelves and turned to his friend. "We better load them up before the rain starts again." 

 

 

 

 

Of course, the elevator in his building was down for repairs, so Jack and Daniel had to lift  
the shelves up all those stairs. He fully expected Jack to gripe about it too, but Jack didn't  
say anything other than to make a remark about his lame knees.

They put the shelves on the wall opposite the window, and then Jack helped Daniel put his books away. 

They looked around at the whiteness, the empty space. 

"We need to go shopping," Jack said. 

"Now?" 

"No time like the present. You need paint. And plants. And fish, Daniel. You're a fish person, I can tell." 

"Jack, sometimes half the thrill of hanging out with you is waiting to see where those synaptic misfires of yours are gonna land." Daniel smirked. Shopping they could do. Shopping meant they could avoid talking. About feelings. Which usually led to touching. And more feelings. Yes, shopping. "Okay. I've been saving up for a while now. Let's spend some of this money burning a hole in my pocket." 

Jack started to close the door behind them. "Fire in your pants, ay? I still have to pay you back for that water-hose incident, Daniel. I never forget a debt of honor; consider yourself warned." 

 

 

 

 

By the time they loaded up the flatbed for the last haul, Daniel was so exhausted he felt  
too tired to sleep, because sleeping would take up too much energy. His feet pulsed with  
blisters; his back muscles throbbed. He could only imagine what Jack went through.

But it was a damned good day. Jack didn't just take him shopping, he took him scrounging, through some surprisingly excellent antique stores in Colorado Springs and the neighboring county. Daniel was able to find plenty of paintings, statues and conversation pieces that reminded him of ancient artifacts. Jack had a good eye for the furniture, helping him find tables and chairs worth a mint. 

They lucked out finding an oriental rug, and some lamps with shades complete with tassels that reminded Daniel of the roaring twenties. He got some good shit. 

"Ya know," Jack said, huffing as he positioned an end table near the small couch they had found at Ethan Allen Markdowns. "Tomorrow we're going to have to go to a real department store, get you things like silverware, a toaster, some sheets." 

"Okay." At that point, Daniel would have agreed to flapping his arms like a bird and flying to Istanbul tomorrow, if it meant he could sit down now. He plopped on the floor, folding his legs Indian-style. 

Jack went to the kitchen, opened the fridge and brought back two beers. 

"Where'd you get those?" 

"Liquor store." Jack twisted the cap off for him and handed him a bottle. 

"Don't be an ass. I didn't see you bring it." 

Jack raised an eyebrow. "I'm sneaky. Special Ops super spy and all that." He sat down beside Daniel, his legs sprawled out at forty-five degree angles. 

"What other contraband did you smuggle into my new abode?" He didn't like beer, but after today, it tasted really, _really_ good. "Ahhh." 

"Let's see... I had a couple of extra rolls of toilet paper, 'cause I knew you didn't think to get any and that's a staple. Also, you forgot to pack your toothbrush, so I did. And a few apples." 

Daniel stared. 

"What? You need to eat sometime, Daniel. And I had extra." 

"Apples." He rolled on his back, resting his head on Jack's thigh. It just seemed like the most comfortable thing to do, since the new couch was all those five long feet away. "You're nuts, Jack." 

"I'm prepared. Like a boy scout." Jack absently petted his hair a bit. It felt good. Odd. But good. 

"Who knew you were this anal?" Daniel smiled up at Jack. "I am not anal." Jack took a swig, then set the bottle down on a folded shopping bag like it was a coaster. "Okay, maybe a little. I like to plan." 

He grinned. "You take good care of your team, Jack. And of me." 

Fingers again. Threading. Massaging. "You need someone to take care of you, Daniel." 

_And you need someone to take care of_ , he thought, but held his tongue. 

Jack laid flat, resting his head on one hand and continuing to pet Daniel with the other. "We should head back to the house. Get some sleep. We have a few days off, but... there's so much left to do..."

"Sleep here," Daniel murmured, eyelids drooping under Jack's rhythmic stroking. 

"No sheets. The mattress is still in plastic." 

"On floor." 

Jack snickered. "Well, that might be grand for the very young and those raised in tents, but for me and my bony old ass, it's not gonna happen." 

"You have a great ass," Daniel assured. And then his brain caught up with his mouth and he wanted the Earth to swallow him whole. Right now. "Er..."

Jack's hand stilled, then went to massage his temple. "You've clearly taken leave of your senses, Dr. Jackson. It's okay; I won't hold you responsible for anything you say under the influence. You've had, what? Two, three sips of beer? Practically three sips to the wind, you are. I guess I should be glad you're not making clumsy attempts to get my bra off." 

Daniel snickered. "I never did figure out those damned things. Snap in the front, or hooks in the back, or the sports ones with the ties... Like a booby trap. Ha. Ha, ha. Booby." 

Jack chuckled so hard he shook Daniel's head. "Whoo boy, you _are_ drunk." 

"Not drunk. Long day." 

"Surprisingly monosyllabic for a linguist." Jack's hand went lower, moving to Daniel's neck, so Daniel rolled to his side, giving Jack better access. Ooh, Jack's hands were nice. He knew what he was doing. It felt _good._

"Mmm." 

"You're tense." 

"Is it any wonder? Who insisted we get all the major pieces of furniture on the very day the elevator decides to take a hiatus? Show of hands? Anyone? Anyone?" 

"The truck is Earl's. He needs it for the store. I practically had to sell my soul and buy a new set of wrenches just to rent it on such short notice, so don't give me any bull, young man." 

"Or you'll what? Send me to my room?" Jack dug in. "Oh, that's nice, to the left." Daniel stretched as Jack's fingers worked their magic. 

"I'll send you to your room, without dinner, even." 

"No apples, then, huh?" Daniel let go of his beer and tucked his hands up under his chin. "You're startlingly comfortable, for an Air Force colonel." 

"Well, thanks. Just don't go trying it with the Jarheads. They'll eat out of your skull." 

Daniel snickered. "Oh, I can so see me cozying up to a marine. We'd have so much in common. I'd bet they'd all just love me." 

"They'd stand in line." Jack went back to petting his hair. "You're a geek, sure, and your damned hair is longer than Sara's used to be... but everyone likes you, Daniel." 

"No, Jack. _You_ like me. And believe me, it has me concerned, but I'll take what I can get for now." Daniel smiled and closed his eyes. 

"Little shit." Jack tugged his hair. 

"Mm!" 

The fingers gentled again, then stopped. "Danny? You falling asleep?" 

"Mm hmm." 

"On the floor?" 

"Mm hmm." 

"On me?" 

"Mm." 

"Okay then." Jack wrapped his arm across Daniel's shoulders and lay still. 

 

 

 

 

The next morning Daniel was stiff as a corpse, but pleased. Jack hadn't moved during the  
night, just held him, and Daniel thought that was impossibly sweet. Very Jack.

It was also very Jack to complain loudly about it, and use up all the hot water in the shower, and then ten-hut his ass up and out the door. Round two of outfitting Chez Daniel landed them with every kitchen appliance and utensil known to man—though Daniel didn't know why, because God knows he couldn't cook, but Jack insisted he would teach Daniel—and the cursed fish tank. 

A couple of foster families had had fish. He knew about filters and feeding them and all that. He couldn't really see the appeal, but Jack's eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store and Daniel didn't have the heart to beg off when Jack dragged him around the aquarium section, picking the most exotic—and delicate— fish available. 

"I'm naming this one Hacienda. And this one Fromage. The orange and black one can be Mungo Jerry. And the pink fella is Häagen Dazs." Jack put the bags of fish in the cart and clapped his hands together, turning to the brightly colored rock beds. 

"Aren't they my fish? Shouldn't _I_ get to name them?" 

"No," Jack sulked. "You'll just name them weird shit like Aetreus or Sekmet or Vishnu, and you'll give them all a God complex. We've already got one species of deity impersonators running around this universe." 

Daniel licked his lips. Why did he get into conversations like this with Jack? There was no way to win, because Jack made up all the rules. "I want to name the sucker fish Budge." 

"Deal." 

Jack put the blue and green bags of pebbles in the cart and pushed forward. "We also need to get you a stereo. One with extra hardy buttons." 

 

 

 

 

Three days later, almost everything had been purchased, cleaned, assembled, positioned  
and organized. Daniel was all set. He didn't mind that the walls were still a little sparse,  
and that nothing looked lived-in. They were going on a mission in a few weeks and who  
knows? He might find Sha're and all this would prove unnecessary anyway. Best not to  
get too attached.

He looked at Jack as the older man stocked his refrigerator full of food. Nesting instincts. The man had overwhelming nesting instincts. 

It was very hard not to get too attached. This was so sad. 

Finally everything had been put away, and Jack could find nothing else to fiddle with. He stood in front of Daniel, looking a little dazed. "Guess that's everything." 

"Yep. Thanks, Jack. You've been awesome." 

"Hey, no big deal." They looked at one another. Daniel knew he should say something, but he couldn't get past the lump in his throat. Jack nodded. "So." 

"So," he said. 

"So, I guess this is it." 

Daniel bobbed his head. "You're welcome to stay. Maybe there's a game on." He looked over at the TV Jack had insisted he purchase—for Discovery channel specials, Jack had said. He knew better. But he got it anyway. If he was going to have Jack over here, he'd have to seduce him with piss-water American beer and the lure of a thirty-six inch screen. 

"Nah. I should go. Let you get used to the place." Jack smiled. "This feels weird, huh?" 

"Yeah." 

"I feel like I'm leaving my kid at his freshman year of college." 

Daniel smirked. That was more or less exactly what Jack was doing. "Don't worry, Dad. I promise to study hard and not get any girls in trouble." 

"I should think not, you being a married man and all." Jack winked, and Daniel took it with grace, knowing this was unusually hard on Jack too. 

"Well." He shrugged. 

"Well. Yeah. So... I'm gonna go." 

"Okay." 

"The phone's set up in the bedroom, if you need me..."

"I'll call." Daniel walked Jack to the door. "Thanks again, Jack. I really mean it." 

Jack opened the door and stopped, like he was trying to decide something. He turned. "Um, Daniel?" 

"Yeah?" Why did Jack look so nervous? 

"Um, it occurred to me that all the time you've been staying at my house, I never gave you an extra key." 

Daniel frowned. "Well, you drove me everywhere, so..."

"Yeah, I know. You gotta rent a car or something if you don't want to buy one." 

"I know." 

Jack circled his hand in the air. "But that's off the topic." 

"There was a topic?" 

"The house key." 

"Oh. Right." He waited expectantly. 

Jack brought a shiny new silver key out of his back pocket. "I got this made for you. I figured it just made good sense. If anything happens off-world, you can water my plants. You can be my Plant Boy. " 

That was what Jack's mouth was saying. His eyes were telling Daniel that he could come over any time. That he wanted Daniel over lots. Sweet Jesus. 

"Oh!" He quickly took the keys. "Thanks. Wait..."

He went to the bowl on the new table by the door and fished out one of the two pairs of keys he got when he signed the lease. "Here. Ya know. Anything happens, you can feed the fish." 

"Right. Wouldn't want Budge to get hungry and eat little Hacienda or Fromage." 

Daniel shook his head. "You're the only person on Earth to name fish Ranch and Cheese. That is seriously messed up, Jack." He watched as Jack carefully slipped the keys on his key ring. "Hey, Jack?" 

"Yeah?" Jack leaned back on the open door. 

"Anytime, okay? You're welcome day or night. Door's always open." He found he meant it, too. Any hour. 

Jack propped the door open with his foot and edged closer, hugging Daniel suddenly. It was a good hug, the kind where they pressed their chests together for a long moment and slapped each other's backs. "Same here, Daniel. Now you take care. Enjoy your new home." 

The older man saluted him with two fingers and took off down the hall. He watched Jack disappear into the stairwell and then he closed the door. 

His new home. 

He missed Jack already. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

**Stargate Command  
**

Later that week.  
In the Operating Room, Teal'c wakes up screaming, "Rya'c!"

Jack knows instinctively that something is off-key. So does Daniel. He asks what 'Rya'c' means, but Teal'c withholds, until Jack corners him during Kel-No-Reem and drags out the dirty little secret... that when Teal'c helped the Tau'ri escape, he left his family behind. 

 

 

 

 

He and Daniel make their case to Hammond, and at first it doesn't fly. But when George  
pulls Jack inside his office, Jack spills the beans, knowing that George is a grandfather  
and a good man at heart.

 

 

 

George stops Teal'c from going through the gate alone, authorizing SG-1 to back him up.

 

 

 

So the mission to Chulak is approved. They dress up as priests of Apophis, Teal'c in his  
First Prime uniform and helmet, and slip through the gate. Tense moments pass, and then  
they remove the robes and wipe off the false Jaffa tattoos, making their way to Teal'c's  
home through the forest.

 

 

 

 

And everything seems to be going fine, until Teal'c's version of Yoda shows up.

 

 

 

"My first teacher, Bra'tac. The greatest Jaffa master I have ever known," Teal'c says  
proudly.

Jack tries for friendly. "It's an honor to meet you, sir." But Bra'tac just walks past him to Sam. 

"You," the old man says incredulously. "You are among the warriors who defeated the palace guard at Chulak? A human woman?" 

Carter bristles. "Hey, I'll have you know I kicked ma..."

He moves on to Daniel. "And you? A warrior of great skill and cunning?" He bites Daniel's limp wrist, which has Jack on defense in a matter of split seconds. "I could snap you like kindling! How could you bring these ha'shak with you?" 

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" Now he's pissed. "Who you calling a hassock?" He turns to Daniel. "What's a hassock?" 

"You challenge me, ha'shak?" Bra'tac says. 

Oh, he's not getting into some alpha-male-pissing-contest with this old fart. "Ah, no. I don't think we came to fight you." 

"A shame." He turns, then rears back and knocks Jack flat on his ass. 

Okay. Maybe he is getting into an alpha-male-pissing contest. 

Jack recovers swiftly, grabbing the staff weapon and knocking Bra'tac to the ground. He looms over him, staff poised at the wrinkled throat. "We're here on a mission," he says, as if that should explain everything. "If you don't want to be a part of it, just say so." 

Bra'tac laughs. "You choose your friends well, Teal'c. Though were I a hundred years younger, it might not have been quite so easy." 

Well, shit. "You're over a hundred years old? God, I'm sorry." Jack reaches down to help him up. 

Bra'tac dumps him on the ground like he's a heavy pitcher of water. "A hundred and thirty-three," the man says proudly. 

Jack just looks up at him, stunned. "You must work out." 

 

 

 

 

It's the beginning of a beautiful relationship, as the cliché goes.

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel was tempted to skip over the passage about that mission. He didn't like to think  
about the fact that George had seen Teal'c as little more than a suspect at the time. Didn't  
like that Teal'c had given up his own symbiote for his son, and so they gave up the one  
symbiote they had left, for Teal'c.

And that was Daniel's fault. 

Because he had gone, as Jack liked to put it, over to the dark side. 

Sam had said that if he killed those symbiotes when they were vulnerable, he'd be no better than the Goa'uld. She looked disappointed in him when she took his gun. 

It was just that... he stared at that tank—the one that housed dozens of larval parasites – and he saw his wife's face. He saw Skaara. And Abydos. And his brand new, lonely apartment. He saw Jack so close to him it was frightening, and yet so far away, it ached inside. He saw, deep in a dark place he never wanted to shine a light on, what was coming down the road. 

And he snapped. He opened fire on that thing and never once felt remorse. 

He _still_ didn't feel sorry. 

Daniel tried to be a patient, understanding man. But he was just a man. And, oh, he knew hate. He knows hate quite well now. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

__  
I have to level with you, Daniel. That was probably one of the shittiest weeks I've ever  
had. Having to move your sorry ass halfway across town, then having to come home to  
an empty house... And it  was empty, Daniel. I didn't even bother to turn the  
lights on that first night alone. 

Then that trip to Chulak, which accomplished exactly nothing. And coming back, hitting the showers, and watching you drive off to your new place. Your new life. 

Thank God you invited me over, it saved me embarrassing myself by asking you to come to the house later. 

This house is still empty, you know. 

I'm still empty. 

Guess that's why it doesn't bother me so much, the feeling that I don't think I'm coming home. I lost home a long time ago. 

 

 

~*~


	13. Ignis et Aquis

**13\. Inigis et Aquis**

 

 

Over the next few weeks, Jack and Daniel spent almost every night together. If Daniel  
had work, he would do it at his computer while Jack watched a game with the sound off.  
If they had free time, Daniel would visit and Jack would order a pizza and they'd watch  
the Discovery Channel. It didn't really matter what they did, just so long as they weren't  
alone. Apart they got a little... twitchy.

On those rare occasions when they didn't spend the evening in each other's pockets, Daniel invited Teal'c over for study sessions in Goa'uld that almost always degenerated into odd conversations about life, because Teal'c would scan through Daniel's encyclopedias and ask questions about the Tau'ri. In the past two weeks, Daniel had procured enough books to cram Jack's shelves to the gills, and there didn't seem to be any end in sight. He was glad Teal'c shared an interest in the encyclopedias, but these were his own private treasures. 

 

 

 

 

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said one night while they played Hounds and Jackals. "I wish to  
speak to you of Colonel O'Neill."

Daniel frowned. "Jack? Sure. What's up?" 

"Nothing is levitating. I merely wished to discuss with you the nature of your bond." 

"Oh. Okay. Bond?" 

"Yes." Teal'c cocked his head. 

"Ah, well. We've done the male-bonding thing." 

"I refer to the warrior-bond of which you spoke on the planet Simarka. You told Mughal that you and O'Neill practiced something called Homo Eros. I am interested to know more." 

Daniel turned pink, then purple. He had to say something before Teal'c grew too concerned. "Ah... ah... ah... ah..." Oh Jesus tap-dancing Christ. 

"Are you unwell, Daniel Jackson?" 

"No. Good. I'm good. I just... ah... Teal'c?" How to put this? "I was lying. We... we were lying." 

Teal'c frowned. "For what purpose?" 

"Ah, to avoid having to... er, well, there was mention of a bed companion." He cleared his throat. "And ah, I didn't exactly want one. You know. Being married. So... so Jack said we were... bonded... and that...ah...we were exclusive." 

"I see." Teal'c did not look pleased. 

"I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression." 

"I do not believe you did." 

"Oh. Good. Um. I didn't?" 

Teal'c shook his head. "I believe that you and O'Neill do in fact have a bond, even if it is not of a... bed companion... nature." He raised his eyebrow. 

Oh. "Oh. Well, yes. Yes. We're very close. If you can imagine it." 

"Why would that be difficult to imagine?" 

"I'm... Jack's... he's military. You know. Those military types...er... well, you were a warrior on Chulak, so I guess you know exactly. And I... I'm a scholar... bit of a geek, in Jack's eyes. Or I was. So, it's an unlikely friendship, I guess you could say." 

Teal'c looked down at the game pieces in their temporary arrangement. "Daniel Jackson, I believe that you are the single person in whom Colonel O'Neill holds the highest esteem. Whether or not you are a 'geek' I cannot say. But it is obvious to me that he cares for you greatly." 

Daniel swallowed. He didn't know what to say to that. He had no clue what Teal'c was trying to imply. Or ask. Maybe... Maybe Teal'c was asking after Jack because he wanted a warrior-bond with him? Or with... Daniel? Ah. Ah... Okay this could get very weird, very fast. 

"I admire him, too. He's my best friend." _Please keep your bonds off him._

"I see I have made you uncomfortable. Forgive me." 

"Oh no, it's perfectly all right. I can understand how you'd be confused..." Daniel moved his piece into position. 

Teal'c looked at the board, then at him. "I find many things about the Tau'ri confusing, Daniel Jackson." He moved his hound. "But this matter seems now perfectly clear. I believe I have won." 

Daniel looked down. "My goodness." He smiled with the genuine mirth of a good loser. "I never saw that coming." 

"Is there not a Tau'ri saying, 'sometimes when you win, you lose'?" Teal'c smiled sadly. 

A rapid knock at the door. A blessed reason to get up, go away. Daniel ripped the door back and—

"Jack!" 

"Daniel." 

Jack stood there, in sunglasses, which didn't make any sense because it was well after seven, but he looked good anyway, holding a box of pizza, the scent of which made Daniel's stomach clench with forgotten hunger. 

"Jack..."

"Daniel. We've established ourselves. Can I come in?" Jack raised an eyebrow, in way he learned from Teal'c. That eyebrow spoke volumes. 

"Oh, ah, sure, yeah, yeah, sorry." He lets Jack in. 

"Teal'c. Buddy. Didn't know you were over here, or I would have brought more food than just this. This a date?" Jack teased. 

Daniel fought the urge to flush scarlet. "Jack!" 

Teal'c took the pizza box. "I have heard of this ritual. There is usually food and a movie involved, is that not correct, Daniel Jackson?" 

"Yeah, Teal'c," Daniel mumbled into his chest. "I'll get plates." 

"Well, imagine that. I brought a pizza _and_ a movie. Daniel, did you know all this time we were dating?" 

He booked it to the kitchen, trying hard not to make any embarrassing squeaking noises. Because if you looked at it too closely—ice cream, skating, dinners, movies—then yeah, Jack should have gotten to second base by now. 

Safe topic, safe topic. "What movie did you bring?" 

"Oh, it's a classic," Jack called from the living room. Daniel thought about _The French Connection_ or _Citizen Kane_. Then again, this was Jack, so maybe _Gone with the Wind_ or _Casablanca_.

"Really?" he asked, coming in with paper plates and two beers. Teal'c already has water, so... Oh, right, he went back and threw a bag of popcorn in the microwave, then came in and sat on the couch. 

"Thanks." Jack opened the beers and set them on the table. "Anyway, I figured it's one you've probably never seen, growing up all Lawrence of Arabia like, and one Teal'c should love to bits." 

"Sounds cool. What is it?" 

" _Star Wars: A New Hope._ " Jack looked so smug, like he was just sure that Daniel had been holding his breath for half his life in order to experience this moment. "Consider it prep work for the prequels." 

He sighed. "Sounds great." Jack was the only man for whom Daniel would put up with science fiction. "Pop it in." 

Jack went to fast-forward through the previews, but Teal'c asked to see them, because Teal'c could probably learn more about the Tau'ri from the previews than from the actual movies, Daniel guessed. 

Jack got the throw and unfolded it, as was now the custom, Daniel's feet almost always getting cold when they watched TV. 

"Have some pizza, Danny." Jack tore him off a slice. 

Daniel glanced over at Teal'c. Teal'c watched them closely. 

"Ah, that's okay..."

"Have you eaten today?" 

Damn it; now was not the time to pull that mother-hen crap with him. "Yes," he hissed. 

" _Dinner?_ " 

He couldn't very well lie in front of Teal'c, because Teal'c had been with him since they got off work and had not seen him eat. "No." 

"No. See? You don't eat unless I follow you around and make you. It's ridiculous. I'm surprised you archeologist-cum-linguists don't all starve to death, squinting over whatever crap you find _fascinating_ du jour!" 

"It's not crap," Daniel said through gritted teeth. 

"Okay, okay, don't get your panties in a bunch. I'm just saying, growing boy and all that—eat." 

Teal'c sat on the floor by the couch and crossed his legs. "Are you afraid that Daniel Jackson does not procure sufficient nourishment while out of your presence?" 

"You could say that, T-man." Jack waggled the pizza slice, which dribbled gooey cheese on the plate. 

"You take it upon yourself to both protect and provide for Daniel Jackson, both on and off-world." Teal'c cocked his head. "Interesting." 

Okay, that's fighting dirty. "Teal'c, did you know Jack is half-Italian? It's in his DNA to force food on everybody." Just then, his traitor stomach betrayed him by growling. 

"Ah! See!" Jack gloated in triumph. "Stubborn S.O.B. Come on, it's the kind you like— cheddar and mozzarella, thin sauce, extra thick crust." 

Momentarily taken aback, Daniel swallowed. "You... You got my favorite?" 

"Yeah. We've only eaten pizza together like twenty-five times since you got back to Earth. Hit on the head with them enough, I pay attention to the details." 

"Since when?" 

The microwave dinged. Daniel made a hasty exit and brought back a bowl of popcorn. Teal'c loved popcorn. He and Sam shared a bowl almost everyday as a snack on base; Daniel knew this, and so passed the bowl right on over. 

"Eat." 

"Shut up, Jack. The movie's starting." 

"It's the Lucasfilm logo, Daniel. Eat. Don't make me make choo-choo noises." 

Christ. Daniel took the pizza slice and shoved half of it into his mouth. It was damned good—bliss, even—but he'd sit on a hot coal in hell before he told Jack that. 

"Jesus. You're more stubborn than my ex-wife!" Jack yelled, handing him a napkin for the grease now dripping down his chin. 

Teal'c continued to watch them, and Daniel had the urge to bury his face in his hands, but he couldn't, because he was holding a double cheese piece of pizza with thin sauce and extra thick crust. 

He was saved by the movie, the bright yellow letters and clashy, corn-gold musical score drowning out everything else. Jack reached over and turned off the light, then spread the throw blanket over his legs. They settled in. 

 

 

 

 

As the credits rolled, Daniel suddenly became aware of several facts at once. It was  
almost ten o'clock. Sometime during the movie, Jack had rested his arm out over the  
back of the couch, and Daniel, being tired and just recently fed, had rested his head back  
on the crook of that arm. How, he could never tell, but they'd actually gotten closer, so  
that their thighs were pressed together under the blanket. Daniel's feet were tucked up  
under his lap and if Jack moved now, he'd find himself kissing the floor.

"That is the best movie ever," Jack declared. 

"I concur. It is indeed a shame that your military has not yet found a means of reproducing a Millennium Falcon. Such a ship would do well in battle against a Goa'uld Al'kesh." Teal'c chomped on the last kernels of popcorn. 

"Yeah, I hear ya, buddy. Would you believe, movies like this were the reason I wanted to become a pilot..." Jack turned the light back on but did so slowly, careful not to jar Daniel in any way. "So, what did you think, Daniel?" 

What did he think? He couldn't tell. He didn't pay the slightest attention, really. He could write a paper on the expressions of Jack's face throughout the movie, or about how good Jack smelled today for some reason, or how warm and comfy it was under the blanket they shared. But the movie? "Uh, it's nice?" 

"Nice?" Ah, the sound of arctic wind in Jack's voice. 

"Very, very nice?" 

"Daniel, I'm shocked. Truly shocked." 

Daniel snickered. "Oh, Jack, admit it. You just want to be Han Solo." 

"Daniel, I _am_ Han Solo. And I don't think you want to go there, because I remember a certain young archeologist, who shall remain nameless, who sat on this couch and drooled over _Indiana Jones_."

"I did not drool." 

Smirking, Jack said, "This movie is, perhaps, one of the most important contributions to American cinema... ever." 

"How so, O'Neill?" 

Jack sputtered. "Okay, ignoring for a moment the amazing special effects that they produced on a piddley ten-million dollar budget, let us not forget the operatic scope of the story." Jack liked opera. Daniel liked that Jack liked opera. 

"Go on," Daniel encouraged, tilting his head a bit on Jack's elbow. 

"Well, you of all people should appreciate the mythological allegory. Darth Vader—Dark Father? The Force? Joseph Campbell's theory on The Call to Adventure, the Journey of the Hero? You telling me you never read this stuff?" 

Daniel gaped. Holy shit. "Yes, I have. I'm just surprised that _you've_ read this stuff." 

"Who is Joseph Campbell?" Teal'c asked. 

Daniel turned to him. "He was a very important author and teacher that dissected a lot of film and literature from a mythological perspective. He was a cultural anthropologist, of sorts." He did a double-take at Jack. "What I want to know is how you've managed to hold out on me with that kind of information for this long!" 

Jack smirked. "I told you there's more to me than appearances." He wagged a finger at Daniel. "You can't say that wasn't a good movie." 

"Well, yes. It was. Even if the ending..."

"What about the ending?" Jack said defensively. "You got something against the heroes getting honored with medals?" 

"No. But don't you think it's a little ironic that a rebellion staged against the Dark Empire—the evil military presence in which all the drones look the same and stand in endless row after row—now has all the rebels wearing matching uniforms and standing in row after row, while Luke and Han get their rewards from a monarch? That doesn't strike you as—"

"Hippie!" Jack accused. "I can't believe it. All this time I've been in your house, eaten your food, and you're one of _those_ anti-establishment types." 

"Jack!" he drawled. 

"No, no! Say no more! I'll not listen to your tree-hugging, no-military manifesto. I have to say, I'm disappointed in you, Dr. Jackson!" Jack playful bopped Daniel on the head and then got up and took the movie out of the VCR. "Well, it was a good way to kill two hours, anyway." 

Daniel smiled. "Thanks, Jack." 

"Yeah, sure, you betcha." 

Daniel yawned. It was so late and his eyes were getting droopy. Big mission tomorrow, too. 

"O'Neill, I believe Daniel Jackson now requires rest." 

Jack assessed him. 

"No, I'm fine, Teal'c. I'm good." He made to get up, but Jack pushed him back to the couch with surprisingly little effort. 

"I got it. I'll drive the big guy to the base. It's on the way." 

He felt a little guilty. "You sure?" 

Why was Jack petting his hair back? "I'm sure. Get some sleep." 

"Thank you for a very pleasant evening, Daniel Jackson." 

"Always a pleasure, Teal'c," Daniel breathed around another yawn. "See you guys tomorrow!" 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

__  
When tomorrow came, Daniel, you were dead. And from that moment on—from that  
very second—everything between us changed. 

I woke up. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Hammond watches as Colonel O'Neill, Captain Carter and Teal'c stumble down the  
ramp, dripping wet, clinging to each other. He's never seen a team of people in such a  
state of shock—not since 'Nam.

"Stand down," he says to the marines. "Colonel O'Neill? SG-1 couldn't have been deployed more than three hours ago. What happened?" 

Jack shakes his head, unable to speak. He doesn't even try to form words. George swings from concern to disturbed in a matter of seconds. Where was Dr. Jackson? 

Dr. Fraiser rushes over to Jack and takes his head in her hands. "Colonel, look at me. Look at me!" 

Jack lifts his head from his hands and stares into empty space. All three teammates are confused, off-balance. 

"They're in shock," Fraiser says. "Get them to the infirmary!" 

George has no doubt Fraiser will do everything she can to see them back on their feet, but first—"Colonel? Where's Dr. Jackson?" 

"Daniel Jackson is..." Teal'c trails off, and George knows already. 

"Daniel didn't make it, sir," Carter says, shaking. 

Jack finally looks him in the eye and says in his best tin-soldier voice, "Daniel's dead, sir." 

George reels. How can this be? Did something along the line of time change, and now he would never meet them in 1969? Perhaps never hear of Stargate Command or meet these fine people? Perhaps the future is never certain. But that thought would have to wait, SG- 1 needed to get medical treatment right away. He nodded and let Fraiser go to work. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

The scene at the infirmary is painful to watch. Sam's shaking and crying. Teal'c refuses  
to be touched. Colonel O'Neill has drawn up on himself at the head of the bed, hugging  
his knees and not saying a word. Janet knows that SG-1 was the first team to go through  
the gate, and that they are all friends, but she never guessed the bonds had grown this  
deep.

At least Sam is letting some of it out, and Teal'c is even acting out, but Colonel O'Neill has her worried, because he's holding it all in. He's photo-sensitive, and practically non- responsive, and she can tell he really doesn't want to be there. 

"It's all right, Colonel," she says gently. "We can do this after the debriefing, or even tomorrow." 

He gets off the bed and looks so lost, and Janet has to wonder if the team had witnessed something truly traumatic, or if Daniel Jackson was simply _that_ beloved. Looking at Jack as he murmurs a hollow, "Thanks," she begins to think it is a little of both. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

In the briefing room, Jack sits in a chair in front of Hammond and a camera. He feels so  
numb; his whole body is just throbbing with the pulse of non-feeling.

"He said... He said, 'Colonel, help me'..." He has to stop, drop his head. Why would Daniel call him 'Colonel'? It doesn't sit right...The hurt is coming back, creeping into his voice like a thief, and he has to hold it together, because that's what good colonels do. "And then he was... gone." 

"Gone?" Hammond presses. 

"Engulfed." Say it with no inflection. Just shut down. "In fire... sir." 

"There was nothing you could have done, Colonel," Hammond tries to reassure. 

He doesn't want to hear that shit right now. "No, I swear to God, sir, I tried to get to him, but the heat was... It... It... blasted toward us..." This is not happening. This is not happening. Just last night Daniel was sleepy and playful and pressed up against him, teasing him about his favorite movie and devouring half a pizza. 

Hammond's voice softens. "What did you do then?" 

He doesn't know. It's very hazy. "There was a body of water somewhere nearby... It was like a lake... a sea, maybe. We all submerged ourselves; that's what saved us." Coward. Coward, coward, coward, leaving Danny behind. 

"And by then?" 

What the hell does he _want_ for fuck's sake? "By then Daniel was gone. There was nothing we could do..." he repeats. "Nothing left, sir." Nothing to hold on to. "I ordered the team to evacuate." Daniel... Daniel...

"We'll send a team through to recover the body—"

"NO, sir!" The ferocity with which he spoke startles even him. "It's...too volatile, sir. The whole area was... very unstable." Unhinged. He's gonna come unhinged, just like with Charlie, he can feel it starting already. 

"It's a hard thing, to lose a member of the team, Colonel. I've gone through it myself." 

No you haven't, he thinks. Daniel wasn't just a member of the team. Daniel was family. Daniel was a friend. Daniel was Friday night pizza and hockey games and hand-made bookshelves and the one thing in this world that hadn't been corrupted, despite all the horrible things that had been done to him. 

"If there's anything I—"

"Yes, sir." You can shut up. You can go away. You can let him fall apart at home, and at least leave me my dignity. 

"Dismissed." 

Jack slams up out of the chair and stalks out of the room. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Sam watches the funeral service from the safe, detached little niche she's carved out  
inside herself. She listens to Colonel O'Neill's speech, and thinks that the language is  
vague, but because it's Jack talking about Daniel, it's laced with meaning.

 

 

 

 

"As a member of SG-1, he was our voice. Our conscience. He was a very courageous  
man. He was a... _good_ man," Jack strains to say. "For those of us lucky enough  
to have known him, he was also a friend."

A very, very good friend, Sam thinks. 

She watches the guards fold the flag, watches the colonel give it to Teal'c and snap off a sharp salute, and then she's there, doing her part, helping him carry the wreath that represents Daniel's _burned-broken-missing_ body up the ramp and into the event horizon. 

The salute they give his memory is solemn, and tender, and it's dragging her out of that safe niche by her fingernails, but for Daniel's sake, she keeps her eyes dry. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel wakes up soaking wet, his clothes clinging to him and he can't ever remember  
being this cold. Wayward strands of hair straggle over his forehead. He doesn't know  
where he is.

 

 

 

 

The first thing he can think to do is call for Jack.

"Jack!.... Sam! Teal'c...? Anyone?" 

He can't believe they would leave him behind. Jack would never, ever, leave him behind. Something must have happened to them...

To Jack...

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Jack agrees to host the wake. It seems only natural. He's doing his utmost to remember  
the good, happy things about Daniel.

Carrying a platter of vegetables to the table—oak now, if anyone would notice. His hutch? Oak. His chairs, his chests, everything but the bedroom is oak now. In case Daniel ever wanted to come ba... It hurts. Say something, it hurts. 

"So then Sha're plants a kiss on him that makes his face disappear for a day," and the nurse laughs, smiling fondly, and he thinks, only a few more hours until he can get really smashed and make this all go away. 

Carter and Teal'c show up and he offers them a drink. He pours the beer, sees the foam, and in a flash, Daniel is before him, calling for him, "Jack! Jack!" and he has to put the glass down and walk out, because he'll start screaming and never stop, and that will get himself a nice little Section Eight discharge. If it's one thing he cannot abide, it's the tarnishing of a good name, even his own. He's got _everything under control_.

 

 

 

 

Or not, he admits, smashing his hockey stick into the driver window of a car parked in  
front of his garage. Furious, furious. He needs to hit something, needs to hear a crunch  
and watch it break, like he's breaking, breaking down on the inside.

He really wants a drink. He knows if he does this now, he won't stop. 

"What's on your mind, Colonel?" George asks. George is a good man; he hasn't been fair to him. 

"Retirement, actually," he says softly. 

 

 

 

 

"You don't mean that."

The fuck he doesn't. "I think I do." 

"Well, I can't let you do that," George says. Why, General? Why can't you let it go? What are you holding on to? You got a crystal ball? "I've got an assignment for SG-1." He closes his eyes and looks away. There is no SG-1. Not without Daniel. 

"Dr. Jackson's apartment needs to be closed by Stargate personnel. National Security aside, you're probably the closest thing he had to family. It's not an order; it's a request." 

Family. Jack had a family again, didn't he? He has his kids—his second, his brother, and his best friend, for a few short, wonderful months. "Yes, sir." 

"Why don't you come join the others in the back?" George asks. 

Sure. Why not? He can sell sane someplace else; they're all stocked up on crazy here. "Yes, sir." 

George takes him around the shoulders. "You know that's my car, don't you?" 

Fuck. "You should get that window fixed." George is a damned good man. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel does his best to communicate with Nem. He demands to see his friends, and Nem  
explains that he made them think Daniel is dead.

He worries about Jack, about what Jack must be feeling right now, believing Daniel is gone. He knows Jack is going to hold himself personally responsible and the thought sickens him. 

He also knows that if they think he's dead, and he's trapped underwater where no one can see this place, then no one is coming to rescue him. He'll have to do it himself. He'll have to find a way home. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel's apartment has become a living thing, growing and shifting and cluttering out of  
all bounds. The bookcases are just stuffed. Artifacts and sculptures cover every surface.  
Daniel's even managed to uncover some pictures from his past and get some things he  
must have kept in storage for years. It's a home now, Jack thinks, as he looks at the  
photograph of Daniel on a camel.

Several cardboard boxes are open on the floor, but they don't have much of anything in them, because Jack can't stop running his hands over everything long enough to actually put them away. 

"Oh, wow," Carter says. "Look at these. Expedition journals—one for each planet we visited." She picks one at random. "One for Abydos." 

She smiles and reads aloud, "'Colonel O'Neill thinks I'm a geek. I have no idea how to get us back. I'll never get paid.'" 

Jack thinks back to that first mission, how young Daniel looked. He rubs a hand over his face. 

"Oh, wow, he must have written this right after we got back. 'Sha're is gone. Jack says we'll find her. If anyone can, he can.'" 

Shut the fuck up, Carter! Just shut up. He knows he failed, there's no need to pour salt on the wounds. He had no idea Daniel had such faith in him and it makes him want to rake his skin off. 

"Ah, come on," he says disgustedly. "That's his _diary_. I mean, what's he going to think if..." If he finds out we went through his personal thoughts? 

Carter looks at him, uneasy, and puts the book back. "Wonder what they're gonna do with all this stuff?" 

Try to lighten it up a bit, he thinks. "Maybe give it to a museum. Or start one." 

Teal'c bends over a game board. "This is a game from ancient Egypt. It is called the Jackal and the Hound. It belonged to a Pharaoh's daughter. Daniel Jackson and I once played. He said it made him feel as though he were touching history." The Jaffa lovingly strokes a finger down one of the pegs, and Jack realizes he's not the only one mourning Daniel, here. 

"Whoa!" Carter says, reeling back from the fish tank. 

"What? What is it?" He goes to her. "You all right?" 

"Uh, I... I just had this image in my mind. It's the second time." 

Here we go, thirty-one flavors of insanity. "What is it?" 

"Water... underwa—"

"Bubbles, rising?" Good, he's not the only crackpot in the room, he thinks as she nods. 

"That is correct. I have experienced it as well," Teal'c says. 

Okay, it's official. "I'm telling you, something is wrong." 

Carter bristles. "Yeah, what's wrong here, Colonel, is that Daniel is dead." 

"Is he?" 

"You were there," she retorts incredulously. "We were all there!" 

"Then why don't I believe it?" His voice sounds raspy even to his own ears. "I keep expecting him to walk through the door! I... I ... keep getting these..." He works his mouth, bounces on his heels, looking anywhere but her, because he's not going to say he keeps getting these weird feelings like Daniel is on the other side of the event horizon, waiting for him, and he knows the man is alive, just as surely as he can sense his own heartbeat. "Screw this packing. Let's get back to base." 

 

 

 

 

And so they undergo tests, Carter gets hypnotized and Jack is now more certain than ever  
that Daniel is on that planet and by God, if he has to take this mountain down brick by  
brick, he's going back for him.

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel argues with Nem; they go in circles until his head hurts. He doesn't know  
Omorocca, he barely remembers Belos and he has to get to Jack. So he agrees to the  
memory procedure, because he would rather risk his life than spend the rest of his time  
trapped in this fish bowl.

It hurts. And when they learn the truth, Nem hurts, and Daniel can't help hurting for Nem. But he wants to get home. Home! 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Jack has never been so relieved as when he sees Daniel wade out of the water and beg  
him not to shoot. In the back of his mind, he knows that this kind of emotion is way, way  
over the red line, but he's too happy right now to care.

"Ah, this is a long story," Daniel says, shaking the water out of his hair. 

Carter grins. "Yeah, I'll bet!" 

"Tell us about it over sushi?" Jack asks dryly, not wanting to look like a sappy fool by hugging the man or anything. 

Daniel gapes. "That's funny. Uh, I will, after I go get some sleep." He walks towards the gate. 

"Ah, home. Yeah... About that apartment..." It's still there, Danny boy, but we went through all your things. Snooped. 

"Oh, you didn't!" 

"The, um..." Carter blushes. "The day after the memorial service." 

"Memorial service?" What? Like they wouldn't see him off properly? 

"The colonel said some really nice things." 

Shut up, Carter. 

"He... he did. He did?" Jeez, Daniel, give him some credit. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel remembered what happened later that night. Jack didn't write much about it, but  
it's still clear in his mind....

 

 

 

 

They were at Daniel's apartment. Sam and Teal'c had just gone home and Jack was  
helping him dry the dishes. He splashed his hands under the warm, soapy water and  
stared at the bubbles. What fate Sha're? He wasn't sure of anything anymore.

The older man handed him his beer and Daniel took a slug, then went back to rinsing out the cups. 

Jack was close. Very close. Their arms brushed with every movement. Jack had stuck to him like glue all evening, and Daniel hadn't objected, because they both needed the connection, after everything...

Suddenly Jack's hand sank under the water and his fingers slipped in between Daniel's. "I thought you were dead." Soft, grave. 

"I know." Daniel squeezed Jack's hand. He didn't have to say more, he really didn't. They faced each other. 

Jack slid forward but an inch, Daniel met him halfway, and their lips brushed gently together. In that electric moment, that yellow, slicing, charged moment, Daniel _recognized_ Jack, and recognized how right this felt. He couldn't imagine anything else in this universe but to tilt his head and slant their mouths closer together. 

Warm, paper press of lip to lip, the break and slide of that thin skin, the flush and heat it brought with it. Only a second, a mere sliver of time, and then Jack pulled back. 

"Uh..." Jack said, staring at Daniel's lip. 

"Jack?" He knew this; he wanted this. He did not want to think about anything other than this, not right now. 

Foreheads almost touching, arms wrapped around each other's waists, wet hands hanging loosely open, Daniel could feel Jack's sigh, even if he couldn't hear it. 

"This is a bad idea," Jack whispered. 

"Bad?" Daniel whispered back. 

"Yeah. Fraternization. Against Air Force regs." 

"Yeah," Daniel breathed, not letting go. 

"And the fact that you're married." 

He winced and withdrew his arms. "Yeah." Still didn't step back, though. 

"And... we're men." Jack kept staring at his lips; Daniel kept staring at Jack's eyes. 

"Yeah. Men... So." 

"So." 

A beat. 

Two. 

They lunged for each other, pressing hard, Daniel wrapping his arms tightly around Jack's shoulders, letting Jack's arms circle his around his back, draw him close, closer, flushed up against him. He splayed his fingers over Jack's cheeks and _drank_ from the kiss... Tantalus with his first chalice of water in centuries. 

Jack was heat. 

Jack was light. 

Everything, everything else melted away and all he could do was open his mouth and invite Jack in. A brief sweep of tongue, a tentative invasion, and it all felt so right—

And then Jack backed up and away and Daniel was dizzy and confused, like froth churned up in the wake of a ship. 

"Daniel," Jack said in a tone he used for missions, a tone that was not to be challenged. "This isn't right. It isn't." 

He knew he sounded like a child, but he had to ask, "Didn't it feel right?" 

"Christ." Jack fisted his hands. "Daniel. You're drunk, you've had a drink..." 

"I'm hardly drunk, Jack—"

"I'm not g... I mean, I'm not... like that." 

Daniel advanced on Jack, driving the older man back to the other end of the kitchen. "Not like what? Like, gay? Oh, but I am, right? Daniel's an academic; Daniel must be gay? Look at the geek in denial?" 

Jack held up his hands. "This is ludicrous! You're _married_!

There are many kinds of pain. Blunt. Hot. Cold. Sharp. Acute. Persistent. Physical. Emotional. Right now, Daniel felt them all. And he was _angry_. With himself. Because Jack was right. 

"You're right. I'm sorry." 

It was Jack's turn to wince. "I don't ever wanna hear 'I'm sorry' from you, Daniel. You don't ever have to say it. You get that? We're beyond that." Jack swept a hand through his hair in frustration. "Look. You're dru... tired. I'm tired. You're hurting. I was scared. It's just stress. Things got out of hand. It's no big deal." 

"No big deal." Hollow. Hollow like a pumpkin, scraped of all its guts. 

"No. It was just... an expression. What we did expressed... affection. We do care for one another, Daniel. And..." Jack started pacing, needing to act, because he was more of a doer and less of a thinker, Daniel guessed. "And we've been through some shit, both of us. It messes with you. You know? It just... It just got out of hand." 

Sounded perfectly rational. That's why Daniel didn't trust it. 

"Jack?" he asked suddenly. "Do you trust me? I mean, really trust me?" 

Jack swallowed and looked at him for a long time, trapped. "Yeah." 

Slowly, Daniel walked toward Jack, silently daring him to move away. But Jack appeared transfixed, unable to break eye contact. He slid his hands up over Jack's shoulders and held him in place. 

"Dan—"

"You trust me?" He didn't move so much as a millimeter. 

Jack nodded. Those brown eyes were sutured back to his lips. 

"Prove it," Daniel whispered, closing the distance and tasting again. 

God, the swell of Jack's lower lip was so seductive, Daniel swiped at it with his tongue, and Jack groaned, and the kiss seemed to go on and on, endlessly. Jack tilted his head back and forth, rubbing every angle and arc of their mouths together, grating him, bruising him gently. It was so right. Daniel's hands clamped on Jack's forearms and he let Jack _hold_ him tight around the hips. 

They broke away and Daniel rested his forehead on Jack's chin, because despite what he'd just done, he didn't have the courage to look this in the face. "You tell me now. Was that affection? Stress? Was that... nothing?" 

Jack tugged him back and petted his hair off his face, cupping his chin. He looked as though he might break apart into tiny flakes of his former self. "Daniel? I'm going home now. And tomorrow, this never happened, okay?" He kissed Daniel again, closed mouthed and chaste, a kiss to reassure, to signal affection, a filial kiss, and then he turned away. 

Daniel stared at the sink, and listened as Jack picked up his keys from out of the bowl and closed the door behind him. 

He licked his lips and closed his eyes. 

Oh, fuck. What had he done? Sha're...

Curling over on himself, Daniel banged his fists on the linoleum floor and let out a howl. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Jack went straight home, stomped into the guest room and tore down all the toy planes.  
Then he cried. Because for the first time in his life, he didn't want to be a flyboy.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

_  
Daniel? If you ever wonder about this kind of stuff..._

You taste like sunshine. Like a summer day. You taste like  hope to me. 

I can still taste hope on my lips....

 

 

~*~

 

 


	14. Haethora

**14\. Haethora**

 

 

 

The next several days were... tense, needless to say. Jack cleaned his already clean  
house, and then he cleaned it again.

Scrubbing. Sweeping. Tinkering with bright metal tools, pulling apart the lawn mower, not that he needed to, because winter was fast on its way, but he'd been meaning to do it and now was as good a time as any. 

He kept the garage door open though, just in case the phone rang. Just in case Daniel called. 

Not that Daniel would. 

Daniel did precisely three things since... the incident that never happened. Daniel drank coffee. Daniel wrote reports. And Daniel talked to Sam and Teal'c. That was it. His interaction with Jack had been whittled down to nodding hello in passing and saying as little as possible in the presence of others. Jack felt his absence keenly, and was worried that people would start to talk. Hammond already eyed him warily, and if _Hammond_ noticed the weirdness between him and Daniel, it was already beyond weird. 

He was at a loss as to how to make it right, though. Because he knew, intellectually, that kissing another guy—let alone a guy under his command—was so, so wrong on so, so, so many levels. For Christ's sake—he took an oath when he joined up. But Daniel was right. It _felt_ right. It had felt, all at once, as though Jack had never known a true kiss until that moment, and also like Jack had known Daniel's kiss since the dawn of time. 

Which was fucking ridiculous. 

Maybe it was a mid-life crisis thing. 

Hell, that fish-creature Nem had scrambled all their brains, maybe he planted feelings for Daniel that didn't previously exist, appetites that Jack had never originally had? 

Except that also was fucking ridiculous. Because ever since Jack had seen Daniel run his fingers over that cover stone, a part of Jack had been drawn to Daniel. Drawn to touch Daniel, protect Daniel... want Daniel. 

And now that he thought about it... oh God, did he _want_ Daniel. 

Daniel's hair had grown long, coming down in a bouncy brown wave over his ears. Jack had to bite his nails just to keep his fingers out of it. His eyes—how could Jack have missed how goddamn blue they were? And Daniel's chin—Daniel had a chin a movie star would kill for! He had to face it; Daniel was an attractive man. 

Attractive to _him_.

Now, Jack was not naïve. Nor was he a blushing virgin when it came to shit like this. In fact, he'd had some pretty brutal up-front experiences with sex and men, and quite frankly, he'd be happy to stuff it all back in that little black box at the back of his head and never, ever think about it. 

But he wasn't alone on this one. See, Daniel had met him halfway. Leaned forward and pressed his mouth against Jack's with equal pressure, equal invitation. 

Right about now, Daniel was probably lacerating himself for being so reckless. He knew Daniel loved Sha're; loved her like mad. He knew that Daniel was a faithful, honest person. 

Jack was not honest, but he was faithful. The very _idea_ that he would entertain any notion of something with Daniel while Daniel was married felt... sick... to him. But there was no denying it. They'd had some serious sparkage. 

Daniel was about nine-hundred volts of lust applied directly to Jack's groin. 

Christ, the way that man wrapped around him with that breathy little moan. He knew-- _knew_ \-- that Daniel would be mind-blowing in bed. Everyone else in the world might be fooled by those long Bambi eyelashes and that nervous little smile, but Jack had tasted Daniel now, had actually stuck his tongue into the velvet-lined heat of Daniel's mouth, and there was no denying it—Daniel Jackson could be a wanton creature. 

See, thoughts like that drove Jack nuts. Nuts. Because he knew now, and like a dog with a bone, he couldn't let it go. He noticed everything, then. Every time they'd touched, the memory seemed charged with a tension he'd been too damned blind to see before. 

Every long look, every episode of playful banter, even the way Jack was always watching out for Daniel and Daniel was always looking to Jack... These entire last few months... Jack had been courting Daniel, for lack of a better word, and he didn't even know it. 

Did Daniel know it? 

Yes, Daniel must have, because when he'd made that joke about whether Daniel knew they were dating all this time, Daniel blushed. And Daniel may be a tad idealistic and inexperienced, but that comment was not enough to get blood to rise to the man's cheeks. 

So, Daniel recognized there was... sparkage... and had been perfectly willing to see where it went. And of course, Jack had to stop them. 

Because as amazing a fuck as Daniel would have been, and oh, he was sure Daniel would have been amazing—so sure he started banging his wrench against the mower out of frustration—the next day everything would have been awkward and wrong and things would have screwed up the team. 

Since everything was so hunky-dory for the team right now, you know... with Daniel unable to look him in the eyes. 

Clang, clang, clang. "Son of a bitch!" 

"I'm no expert," a soft voice said above him, "but I don't think that will help." 

Shoes. Polished Italian leather shoes. Shoes Jack insisted Daniel buy on one of their many trips to the mall. Daniel...

"It helps to show it who's boss," Jack said, stalling for time. He got up and wiped his hands on his jeans, feeling slightly dizzy and starting to sweat. "Ah... you want a drink or something?" 

Daniel folded his jacket over his arm and pushed his glasses up. "Or something. I want to talk." 

Four words which were certain to stop Jack's heart cold. "Okay. Inside?" 

Daniel nodded and followed him in the house. 

He cut to the chase and jumped up on the kitchen counter, deciding the best defense was a good offense. "Is this the part where you tell me how sorry you are that things got weird, and that it was all a misunderstanding, and that you didn't mean to spend so much time avoiding me, but you needed to clear your head, so you're over the hump now, and would like very much for things to get back to normal with SG-1, because at the end of the day, we make a good pair of friends, and you've got a wife to find, and we've got a planet to defend?" 

The younger man blinked. Rapidly. It was fucking adorable. Shit. 

"Ah, well, yes, actually. Basically. I wouldn't have put it that way, but... Yes." 

Jack nodded tersely. "Right. I figured. Yadda, yadda and ditto, for my part." 

Daniel raised his eyebrows. "You stole my thunder," he said after a minute. 

"Sorry." Jack grinned. "I've been thinking about it too, you know." 

"Yeah, I could tell." 

What's that supposed to mean? "What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Jack," Daniel said, taking out a chair and sitting at the table. "... is everything in this house now oak?" 

Nice diversionary tactic, give the boy a gold star! "Yes. Your style grew on me. I donated the mahogany stuff to Disabled Veterans. What did you mean you could tell?" 

Daniel swallowed, taking off his glasses to polish them on his shirtsleeve. "You've been a little... distant... and a little edgy." 

"So have you." 

"Yes," Daniel readily admitted. "But you've been handing in your reports. On time." 

Well, it was that or run down to Daniel's lab and open up a can of worms that would be all over the base in under half an hour. "Point taken. Beer?" 

"No, thanks." Daniel folded his hands. 

"Wine, then." Jack hopped off the counter and went to the pantry. "I've still got some left over from that time we went to Vito's." 

"Um, I don't really... I've given up drinking for a while, actually. I don't want what I'm about to say get blamed on being 'three sips to the wind' as it were." 

Jack turned around slowly. Hadn't this been taken care of? Was it possible to cringe on the inside? What did he do in a past life to merit this? "So say it." 

"Jack... kissing you was... good. It was really good. It was also wrong. I blame myself, I should have known better." 

He stared to protest but Daniel held up a hand. 

"You were dealing with the trauma of losing a member of your team, and for some reason, I tend to bring out the maternal instinct in you. What I'm saying is..." He sighed. "Is that you care for me. More than the Air Force says you should. And I care for you, more than a married man should. We didn't ask for it. We didn't see it coming. It just happened, and I think we're both adult enough to not let it affect our work. I've made peace with it. My reason for coming here is to see if you have." 

Jack took a long, hard look at Daniel. "Made peace with what, exactly?" 

"Our attraction. And the fact that there's nothing we'll ever do about it." 

Well, way to talk the romance right out of the room. Still, he admired Daniel's balls—it took nice big brass ones to show up at his house like this and demand to know if Jack was going to act like an ass or own up to everything. "Daniel. I'm straight as a line. But when it comes to you, the line gets blurry. All the lines do, actually. Yes, I'll admit, we've got sparkage—"

"Sparkage?" 

"Heat," he clarified, those Special Ops instincts noting the darkening of Daniel's pupils when he said it. "Which is odd, but then, everything relating to you is odd for me. Yes, I've accepted it. No, it won't affect my command. I see no reason to take it any further. As you said. We're adults. We'll work together, and I'll help you find your wife." 

Daniel blew out a huge breath. "Thanks, Jack." 

"Yeah, sure, you betcha." Daniel got up to go. "Hey, where you headed? Hang up your coat, stay a while." 

"Oh, but... don't you have the lawn mower—"

"Forget about it. I was killing time, trying to think of a way to weasel over to your place and have this nice little Oprah moment." Jack winked. 

"Oh. I see. Well... okay. I could stay for a bit. I guess." 

"Great. What's say we make dinner? I've got some steaks I could thaw..."

Daniel wrinkled his nose. Jack really had to stop thinking that was adorable. "I'm kinda hungry now. Got anything easy?" 

Jack opened the pantry and scrounged. "Mac' and cheese. Soup...Ah, I don't know what that is, but I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy..."

Halfway submerged in the refrigerator, Daniel started pulling things out at random and handing them to Jack's general direction. Good thing he had those highly trained senses or he'd be mopping the floor right about now. "Whatcha doing?" 

"I've been watching the Food Network," Daniel said, his voice muffled. The younger man handed him a head of lettuce, the container of salad, a shrink-wrapped package of shrimp and a canister of parmesan cheese. 

"So, you went and got all domestic on me. What do you have in mind?" Jack started to wash the lettuce as Daniel went to the cupboards for pots and pans. 

"You've got a wok, right? I saw one in here back when I..."

"Under the island. To the left. We're wok-ing?" 

Daniel produced the large-bellied pot with a flourish. "Stir fry. Takes minutes and is a nice break from pizza." 

"Don't knock my pizza. It's a staple of the bachelor diet, Danny boy." 

"I'm not a bachelor," Daniel murmured to the wok, but Jack pretended not to hear him. 

"Okay, here's the lettuce. What do you want me to do?" 

"Tear it up into long strips, and hand me the olive oil. You have olive oil?" 

Jack fixed Daniel with a 'how dumb are you?' stare. "Ma would never forgive me if I didn't. It's in the pantry." 

"Wow, this pantry is clean. I mean, you've really organized." 

He shrugged. "You were right, I'm anal." Why did everything sound so weighted with double entendres now? God...

"That just makes you a good leader, Jack," Daniel said absently. Jack relaxed at the compliment. They were going to be okay. They would always be okay. This was Daniel, for crying out loud. 

"Now what?" 

"We cook the shrimp until it gets pink and then throw everything else in until it gets warm, and then top it with the parmesan. Voila, c'est magnifique!" Daniel kissed the tips of his fingers and burst out laughing. 

Jack shook his head. "My linguist is getting silly." 

"Your linguist?" 

"Yeah. Mine. My team. Mine. Stir the damn shrimp. How do you say that in French, wise guy?" 

"Remue les foutues crevettes, s'il vous plait." 

Jack flicked water from his fingertips at Daniel's face. "Screw you, Jackson, you damned show off," he said merrily. "You want to impress me, speak Italian. I'll get you on the phone with my Ma! Or worse yet, pull out the Gaelic, I'll sic Nana on you!" 

Daniel smiled and looked down at the wok. "Hiding behind skirts so soon, Jack?" 

Yeah. They would be okay. 

 

 

 

 

The meal was excellent; Jack went back for two extra helpings. He brought out the wine  
and two glasses, but let Daniel pour for himself—an out, if he wanted it. Daniel didn't  
want the wine. So he made coffee and sliced up some pineapple upside-down cake that  
his neighbor, Mrs. Welsh, had made for him. Daniel ate heartily as well, and Jack  
wondered how long it had been since he last took a meal, and where those dark circles  
under his eyes had come from, and just how worried was Daniel that they wouldn't get  
back on track?

"How 'bout a game of chess?" He watched Daniel stir his coffee—first the left, then to the right, staring into the whirlpool rings as they collided. That was so adorable. Why was everything about Daniel adorable? He should come with a warning tag. 

"I should really get going. I have so much to do for our next mission..." 

"That's not for five more days!" Jack whined. 

Daniel smiled. "Well, maybe one quick game..."

 

 

 

 

Six games later, Jack had finally been able to beat Daniel and he crowed his victory loud  
enough that Mrs. Welsh could probably hear. Beside him on the couch, Daniel smiled  
indulgently, and Jack narrowed his eyes. "You let me win."

Daniel looked down at the board—a clear give-away. "No I didn't." 

Jack hooked two fingers under Daniel's chin and forced the young man's head up. "Daniel," he sang. "I know you. You cheated." 

Daniel's breathing hitched, and he blushed very slightly, and Jack could feel the zing traveling up Daniel's spine and jumping current onto his fingers, up his arm, straight to the back of his head. Damn. Serious sparkage. 

"I should... I should go..."

Jack swallowed. "Yeah. Big mission in only five days, lots to do." 

"Yeah." 

Jack rearranged himself on the couch, because he didn't want to make Daniel uncomfortable with his growing... interest. 

God, the man looked so good. 

Daniel shifted to get up, embarrassed, and said, "I—"

But that's as far as he got, before Jack grabbed him up and pulled him practically into Jack's lap, mouth latching onto his, fingers tangling in his soft, soft hair, left hand pressing the small of Daniel's back forward. 

Daniel responded instinctively, his hands resting on Jack's shoulders for balance— gripping, tugging his shirt... the hungry way he opened his mouth and _licked_ along Jack's tongue driving Jack wild. Sweet ever-loving Christ. The younger man wriggled a bit and was on his lap before he knew it, and suddenly Jack had his hands full of a very aggressive, very libidinous linguist, who was doing obscene things with this tongue. 

"Mmm," Jack moaned, his hands sliding down Daniel's back, rocking him closer. The kiss shifted, Daniel leaning on the other side of his mouth, tongues warring, and Jack decided to fuck being adult about all this and raked his nails down Daniel's back. 

"Hm!" Daniel cried, his hands latching onto the back of the sofa, his hips grinding forward slightly. Oh God, Daniel was hard. 

So was he. 

Oh, God. 

He broke off and lapped at Daniel's neck, going into orbit as Daniel threw his head back and exposed his throat, letting Jack have at him, and so Jack sucked and nipped and bit and laved and pulled Daniel fully into his lap. Oh, God. Oh, God. 

Daniel's hands in his hair, tugging, pulling back. "No... no... Can't." 

No. Not so soon. "Danny..." he breathed, sucking Daniel's lower lip into his mouth, taking a firm buttock in each hand and _rolling_ Daniel to meet him. 

"Mmm! Mhmm!" Daniel wriggled and writhed and oh, God, if he did that for much longer Jack was gonna hump him right here on the couch and come in his pants like a damned teenager. 

"Stop, Jack, please, stop!" 

He froze. He just... froze. 

Daniel panted above him, flushed, hair a mess, his lips swollen. "We have to stop, Jack," he whispered, full of regret. 

Jack grimaced. "Right," he whispered back. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I couldn't..." 

Daniel put his forefinger over Jack's lips and shook his head. "It's okay." 

Jack ghosted the tip of his tongue over the pad of Daniel's finger. "No, it isn't, Daniel. I want you..."

"Oh, God," Daniel breathed, tortured. He dove back in for a kiss and Jack locked him in a tight embrace, twisting and lowering them to the couch. He wanted in between Daniel's legs and he wanted it now. Wanted, wanted... "We can't..."

"Daniel," Jack moaned. Agony, agony! Do the honorable thing, or do Daniel? Christ. Jack allowed himself a few more kisses, sweet and quick, before lifting himself off the couch and back-peddling to the other side of the coffee table. 

They both were breathing hard; Daniel looked like absolute _sin_ , lying tussled and flushed on his couch, still panting quietly. He wanted to fuck him. He didn't care if Daniel was a man. At this point, Jack didn't care about anything other than getting his dick between Daniel's legs. 

That, and if Daniel wanted this too. 

And that's three times now that Daniel had said no. Jack was a firm believer in listening to no. 

"I'm sorry." Daniel straightened his clothing. "I shouldn't have stayed..."

"Damn." Jack laughed but it held no mirth. "Maybe next time you could try not looking so sexy, huh?" He winked. That would be impossible; Daniel could only be himself. 

The younger man frowned. "I don't... You're the only one that thinks..."

"Bullshit!" Jack spat out. "Utter crap. You, Daniel Jackson, are a four-alarm fire waiting to happen. But it's my fault, if anyone's to blame. _I_ reached for _you_ , as I recall. And for that, I'm... well, not sorry, but let's say I understand why it was a bad, bad idea." 

Daniel was up now, arranging his hair and glasses. "We've... just got to get this under control. We'll be fine. We know now. So now we know what we have to do." 

"We do?" 

"Yes. We'll have to have a chaperone while we're together. Teal'c or Sam. For a while. Until this goes away." 

Like this was gonna go away. "Yeah. Sure. Hey, Carter, wanna catch a hockey game? 'Oh sure, sir, just let me finish playing with my nuclear reactor transmogrifying ray gun.' Oh, Teal'c? Fancy a game of chess? No, no hounds or jackals, but plenty of pawns." 

Daniel grimaced. "Just for a while, Jack. Just... we need to cool down." 

Yeah. Cool down. Look at Daniel. So fucking hot and completely clueless about it. Jack was torn between pouncing on Daniel and shoving him out the door so he could run into the bathroom and jerk off as soon as humanly possible. 

"Good idea." 

Daniel made his way to the front door. "I'll see you at the mountain." 

"Daniel?" he called, having no clue what to say. Daniel turned and bit his lip. Damn, that lip. "Don't be a stranger, okay? You know... you know if you need me... I'll control myself, I promise." 

He nodded, brown hair flopping over across his eyes. Jack hated when he tried to hide like that, but he understood. "Yeah. Same here." 

Daniel walked out. Jack watched him go, stunned to discover himself staring at that round, firm ass with... desire. Shit. 

Shit, shit, fuck. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

The next day, Daniel stands in the embarkation room with Hammond, Sam, Teal'c and  
Jack. They crowd around a sarcophagus littered with gold plate and glyphs from ancient  
Egypt.

"Dr. Kleinhouse and his associates were killed brutally. The Mexican authorities assume it was by crypt robbers looking to steal anything in the burial vault. Like... this." 

"And who thought to send it here?" Hammond asks. 

Daniel adjusts his glasses. "Uh, Dr. Kleinhouse's other associates, who were outside the pyramid. They recognized the significance of an Egyptian sarcophagus in a Mayan temple. And, since I was the only one to ever do research in cross-pollination of ancient cultures, they tracked me down." 

"I know this thing," Jack says. 

"Yeah, I recognize it too." Daniel nods. Of course he does. 

"It's like that thing that was on Ra's ship that... " Jack trails off, afraid to mention Sha're. He knew this would be awkward. Just plow on through. 

"Brought Sha're and I back from the dead." He nods again. 

Hammond frowns. "Well, how could it be?" 

"I don't know. But if it does belong to a Goa'uld, it would explain a lot. Like why there's no one in it, and why it has Egyptian hieroglyphs on it instead of Mayan..." 

Just then a young airman rushes in. "General Hammond, sir." 

And that's how Daniel learns of Hathor. 

 

 

 

 

He remembers standing with Jack and Hammond in the holding cell, talking to her.

"We are Hathor," she says, her voice low. "You would be wise to unbind us, and kneel  
before your Goddess."

"Hell-o," Jack says. No matter what's changed between them, Daniel can always count on Jack being a smartass. 

"Hathor?" he asks. 

"Yes." 

Jack turns to him. "Have you heard of her?" 

How could he not? "Hathor was the Egyptian Goddess of fertility, inebriety and music." 

"Sex, drugs and rock and roll?" Jack asks. God, only Jack. 

"In a manner of speaking, yes." Daniel isn't comfortable with this whole full-metal-jacket bit. "Um, are the cuffs absolutely necessary?" 

Hammond and Jack exchange a look, then give Daniel permission to unbind her. 

"I'm surprised they didn't chain her to the bed too." He moves to unlock her. "What's she gonna do, beat us up?" He looks at her—she's so unusual. "Sorry about that." 

"Thank you. Your efforts shall not go unrewarded." She takes his hand in her cool one and raises it, breathing warmly on his skin. It tingles and stuns and he feels slightly drugged, so he sits on the bed abruptly. 

Vaguely he remembers discussing the Chappa' ai and Ra but his head is filled with the swarming of bees, buzz, buzzing, and he can feel his conscious mind shut down on itself. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Jack is not a happy camper. This Hathor-crackpot is seriously giving him the creeps,  
ringing all his little alarm bells at once. He sits in the briefing room and waits for Daniel  
to get done playing fair-lady-maiden with the new resident psycho, meanwhile, he  
wonders what's gotten into the general.

Eventually Daniel saunters in. "She's a Goa'uld, sir," he says, like he's reading the new menu at McDonald's or something so simple. 

"What?" Carter asks. He's with Carter. What? 

"How is she a Goa'uld?" He looks to Teal'c. Her voice was just fine, so what gives? Did Teal'c's spidey-sense malfunction or something? Maybe he had to get closer to her? 

"She could not have come through the Stargate. We would have been alerted." Yeah, thanks, buddy...

Daniel pipes up. "She's been imprisoned in stasis on Earth for almost two thousand years." 

Okay. Daniel's gone off the deep end. He's in need of a stress reduction class and a nice two-week vacation. "Is mental illness contagious?" 

Daniel ignores him. Blatantly. "General Hammond, I think she is Hathor. Or at least the Goa'uld that took on the persona of Hathor." 

"Back up," Carter insists. "Did you say she's a Goa'uld?" 

Daniel turns those puppy-dog eyes on Carter. Ah, Christ, what now? "Yes. She feels indebted to us for killing Ra, who she was trying to stop from enslaving Earth. See, she's always been a friend of humanity. See, that's how it was in the Book of the Dead. Hathor was a much-loved Goddess." 

A little too much-loved. Okay, he's officially jealous. What did this chick do to get Daniel's high esteem so sudden-like? 

"Are you saying she wants to help us?" Hammond says, like it's the niftiest idea in the world. 

"Yes," Daniel agrees. "She wants to help us defeat Apophis. And protect us from other evil Goa'ulds." 

"And you bought into all of this?" Carter says. 

Yes, good girl, Carter, that's just what he was going to say. No such thing as a good Goa'uld—no way, no how, no sir. 

"General, I'd like permission to have Hathor come down here and debrief us." 

"Whoa, Danny!" He has to scoff at Daniel's temporary trip to the moon. "I don't think so." 

Daniel still won't look at him. Why not? Didn't they promise they weren't going to pull this awkward crap? 

"General." Daniel gets right up in Hammond's face and Jack can't see what's going on. "I think you sense what I do. Hathor is a friend." 

"Yes, I do believe that." The general smiles. "Bring her down." 

"Are you kidding?" Carter's outraged, and so is he. 

Just another day at the SGC and everyone's aboard the crazy-train. Toot-toot, next stop utter insanity! "Whoa, General." 

"Colonel!" Hammond says sternly, and it triggers Jack's urge to snap to attention and salute. He tamps down. 

"Sir, are you sure?" 

"Yes, Colonel." Okay, maybe old George has something up his sleeve. Maybe he's going to lure the nice alien parasite into a state of false security...

 

 

 

 

Moments later she floats down the stairs, spilling out of her dress and slinking around the  
floor like a damned snake. "We would appreciate a drink from your water."

"Colonel?" Hammond says. 

"General?" What? Is that some sort of signal for Plan B? 

"Colonel, water for the lady," Hammond says like he's retarded. 

Okay. Screw this waiter crap. Whatever. 

"Ah! Yes, of course," he says indulgently, pouring the water and carrying it to Hathor. 

"You are the one who is responsible for destroying the vile one, Ra," she says. 

Man, he doesn't like this broad. "I would be the one." 

Hathor takes his hand and places it on her breast. "For you, we will forever hold a special place, here." 

"Well... that's... very... special. Thank you." 

He tries to pull away and but Hathor grabs him, and lifts his hand to her mouth. He can feel her warm breath on his skin, and then everything gets a little fuzzy. 

So fuzzy, he has to sit down. She's not so bad, really. Daniel likes her, and Daniel has good taste... Daniel also tastes good...

His brains are caving in like a folded soufflé. It's like his mouth is moving but he can't hear a sound. Just... everything's just gray....

 

 

 

 

On the fringe of his memory, he sees Hathor standing before him, kissing him, clutching  
him to her, and he vaguely senses stabbing pain in his stomach. He remembers trembling  
hands and an X-shaped pouch, and the rest is a blur until Carter wakes him from the  
sarcophagus.

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel never remembered anything but fragments. When Sam found him, she'd said he  
was in a fugue state.

He remembered something about Hathor telling him she was a Goa'uld queen and he was her beloved, and about needing his code of life. He expressly remembered her being too close, and kissing him, and he put his hand on her arm, desperately trying to stop her. He remembered her fondling him, and then wet suction, and blacking out. 

 

 

 

 

The rest of it was like an oil painting that was left out in the rain, all the colors running  
and bleeding together and the entire thing just a waste, and yet not, because it evolved  
into a different kind of painting.

Jack's journal filled in the rest for him. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

__  
You have hinted to me before that you had gotten into some scrapes with your foster  
siblings. I recognized the tone immediately; I knew exactly what you meant, Daniel. 

The thing about rape is, it's rape on TV, and rape in Thrilla fiction, and rape on the evening news. When it happens to you, it's just shame and ache and a sense of being hollow. 

I told you that I was once imprisoned behind enemy lines in Iraq during a Special Ops mission. You knew that I had had some broken bones. I never told you more than that. Even when we were at our closest, even when we had nothing to hide, I never... burdened you with it, I guess. 

I was ashamed, still am. 

You know those movies, the ones where soldiers are captured and tortured, forced to run around in their filthy underwear and eat their own shit after getting it beaten out of them? 

Yeah. Well that's all true. 

But the part when the hero puffs out his chest and swears he'll never tell the enemy a goddamned thing, that's the lie. Because you will talk, oh yes, you will. You'll talk after you take several guys up the ass, dry. You'll talk when you've got to lick your own blood off their dicks. 

If you're smart, if you've got half your senses still to your name, you'll tell good lies, the ones that sound like truth, the ones that have the right words and the right names, but the wrong places, the wrong times. You'll say whatever the fuck you've got to, to make sure you live another day. 

Because your teammates are coming for you. They  will rescue you; you've just got to give them more time. Or, given enough time, if you're on your own, you'll get yourself out. 

Eventually I got out. I got out, let loose and never looked back. I never told Sara, I never told anyone other than the two doctors that examined me and the shrink they made me see for a while—because they had solid proof. It was my scarlet letter and I wore it on the inside. 

I'm telling you this now, because it really happened. Because it's the truth. Because you need to know that whatever happens to your body is not who you are. 

My mind is being invaded. Everyday, I lose a little bit more of myself, so I have to write it down, because if I don't, all of me will be lost. But the changes that are happening to me aren't me, Daniel. 

If you want to know who Jack O'Neill really was, you get up and go look in the mirror, and you see what I've been living for, what I've given my life to, what I've always wanted. You see that, and tell me if you see anything of what Hathor did to you, then. Because I sure as hell don't. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel looked in his bathroom mirror for a long time. He streaked a fist through the  
condensation from the shower and looked at his gaunt face.

He had been abused. And everyone at the SGC knew about it, because his mother- fucking DNA was all over the bathtub in the men's shower room. 

Sha're... he'd betrayed Sha're, and he didn't want to, but that didn't restore any purity points. With Melosha...and Jack... it had never gone farther than kissing... 

But Hathor...vaguely, he remembered that she sucked him hard and then got on top of him and he couldn't face this right now so he'd just throw up in the toilet. 

 

 

 

 

And then Jack was there, rubbing his back, murmuring in his ear. How did Jack get  
there? Oh yeah, he forgot to lock the door.

"It's okay, Daniel. Go easy," Jack said. 

It. Is. Not. Okay. 

He'd never get it back. 

Jack leaned over him, long legs on either side of Daniel's shoulders, holding his hair back, wiping puke off his lips. He vomited again. 

"You're gonna be okay, Daniel," Jack said, but he must be saying it for his own benefit because Daniel knew that it would never, ever be okay. He wanted to scream for Jack to stop touching him—he'd been so filthy and so raw—while at the same time he wanted to cling to Jack, to beg Jack to not see him that way, so that he won't have to see himself that way. 

What next came out of his mouth was drawn-out and strained, like skin stretch over bones, creaking, flat, dry. "I... betrayed..."

Jack grabbed him up and hauled him into the bedroom. Suddenly Jack was a flurry of movement—bringing over a trashcan, getting extra blankets and tissues, handing him a glass of water. He was thirsty but he couldn't get anything past his lips right now. 

He crumpled to the bed. "I betrayed..."

"Don't you fucking say it!" Jack screamed at the top of his lungs. Daniel was momentarily startled. 

Suddenly Jack was on the bed with him, spooning up behind him and scooping him into his arms and it was tight—too tight—he needed room, needed space, the world was too small, too small. Jack turned him over and Daniel burrowed away from the bathroom light, into the crevice of Jack's throat and shoulder. 

"Daniel," Jack said, voice on the edge of panic. "You listen to me, now. You listen. You didn't betray anybody, least of all Sha're. If anyone would understand, she would." 

Daniel squinted his eyes so hard he saw silver spots. "I didn't even say no." 

"Christ, it wouldn't have mattered if you did. Daniel, you weren't given a choice. And that's rape. Rape is not being given a choice. You were _raped_ , okay? That's not your fault... it's mine." Jack said it so quietly he almost missed it. 

He pulled back. "What? Yours? How?" 

"I should have been more vigilant, Daniel. Should have protected you better. But I didn't have a crystal ball and I didn't follow my gut, and now here we are." 

"Here we are." Daniel butted his head against Jack's solid chest. "It's not your fault, either, Jack." 

Jack rubbed his hands in soothing circles over Daniel's back. 

"It's not!" Daniel insisted. 

"Yeah, okay. Let's blame the bitch, then. It's her fucking fault and if I ever get even the smallest opportunity, I'll make sure she dies the most horrible way I can come up with." Jack swore this, and Daniel believed him. 

They clung. Jack rocked them from side to side. Eventually Daniel calmed down enough to say, "What if those larvae hadn't been burned? I would have been responsible for..."

"Shh," Jack commanded, kissing his forehead. "Shh, now. It's over. Didn't happen. They're dead." 

Daniel rubbed his face against Jack. Jack stroked his hair. "I want to go to sleep, Jack," he said tiredly. 

"Okay." Jack sat up, and Daniel went right along with him. 

He cupped Jack's face and stroked his cheek. "I don't want to go through this alone." 

Jack swallowed. He nodded. "Whatever you need, Daniel." 

Daniel pulled up the covers and turned around, shivering. "Um... could you...?"

Jack was right there, strong arms holding him, soft lips pressing a chaste kiss to the back of his neck. "I'm just so damned glad she didn't snake you with one of those things. God..." Jack kissed his neck again and held him tight. 

It hurt. Sha're. Everything. 

But Jack was there. Jack had him. Wouldn't let go. 

Daniel couldn't slosh apart if Jack was there to contain him, to hold the puddle together. 

"I feel ugly, Jack," he said out of nowhere. 

"What happened was ugly, Daniel. You never could be." 

He turned back around in Jack's arms and let Jack hook his head under that stubbled chin. "Don't let go." 

Jack said nothing. He didn't have to. 

 

 

 

 

Daniel woke up the next day, and Jack still hadn't let go.

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 


	15. Singularisa

**15\. Singularisa**

 

 

Weeks went by. Daniel sat at the kitchen table every morning, watching snowflakes   
accumulate on the windows. They always melted under the blast of the heat—Daniel was   
forever cranking up the thermostat at his place, because he had all utilities included, and   
because he was a desert-rat, and because lately, everything was cold when Jack wasn't in   
the room.

Jack. 

Jack had been a saint, ever since... Daniel never would have believed the man capable of such patience, if he hadn't experienced it first-hand. 

During the day, Daniel was fine. In the sunlight, he could smile and nod and work—he could even make conversation for short periods of time. So long as no one touched him. Recently, no one even noticed how much he hated to be touched. He would shrink away slowly when Sam would reach out for him, and he just made it a point to stay a few feet away from Teal'c. Neither of them seemed to mind. And Hammond never touched him. 

He let Jack touch, 'cause that was as familiar as if he were touching himself, but anyone else, and he had to consciously control his breathing and try to keep his sanity from bleeding out all over the place. 

At night, it got worse. Jack said it was because Daniel couldn't really remember what had happened, so his unconscious mind filled in the blanks when he slept, and the results were embarrassingly loud night-terrors. Embarrassing, because it had made Daniel crawl back into Jack's bed, or if he were being stubborn, Jack would come over and crawl into his. He absolutely could not sleep without Jack there—wouldn't even try it, because he did not want to wake up with the truth, couldn't face that uninvited stranger all alone. 

So Jack held him. There was nothing sexual in his touch. Pointedly. Jack gave Daniel plenty of space on that field, and he was grateful. Because he wasn't sure if he ever wanted sex again, some days. Really, it wasn't about sex. Daniel liked sex. A lot ... He just didn't want to be under anyone's control, or at anyone's mercy. As long as he felt like he had options, he was fine. And Jack gave him lots of options. 

When Daniel stayed at his house, Jack went to bed first, and left both his door open, as well as the door to the guest room . Daniel always went to Jack's bed, climbed halfway on top of Jack and gave himself up to an embrace—but that was because he knew he could always go to the other room if he wanted. At Daniel's apartment, Jack would finish up in the bathroom and let Daniel settle on whatever side of the bed he wanted that night—like with the radio, Daniel could never make up his mind—and then he would come in and fold Daniel into his arms, under the blankets, out of the cold—safe. 

Jack was safety personified. A generation had come and gone since Daniel had last felt truly safe. And that, regardless of whatever weird attraction or professional push-and-pull was happening between them—that would make Daniel loyal to Jack for just shy of forever. 

And if he was fast becoming addicted to the way Jack would stroke hands through his hair as he fell asleep, or the way, after he woke up screaming, Jack would trace fingertips in small circles over his back, his sides, his neck... then he allowed himself the indulgence. There was no comfort anywhere else to be had—no comfort he would allow himself. Jack and Teal'c watched over him, made sure he rested; Jack and Sam forced food on him, made sure he ate, and the rest of his world was like steel buried under snow—gray, cold, lifeless. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Jack watched Daniel slowly drift back from the edge a little more every day. He didn't   
like the empty look Daniel sometimes got—the fugue state Sam once talked about—but   
those instances were becoming less frequent.

Daniel ate, and slept... for short intervals, anyway... and he did his work. He never smiled anymore and went rigid whenever anyone other than Jack tried to touch him. Everyone pretended not to notice, but when Daniel went for his follow-up physical with Fraiser and literally _leaped_ off the bed when she attempted to draw blood, the good doctor got really concerned. 

Fraiser called him down to the infirmary and he stood by Daniel—just standing there was enough, Daniel calmed down and Fraiser was able to get a sample with minimal flinching—but it was clear this was going to be a _thing_ with Daniel, possibly for a very long time. 

The doctor gave them both a look and addressed Jack, since Daniel was already spacing out again. "Daniel has allowed you to be made privy to certain medical information, as he has listed you as next-of-kin. You'll be happy to know that so far all the tests I've run show that he has contracted no illnesses, no diseases and no foreign substances from his... encounter. However, I'm going to recommend some counseling. There are clearly post-traumatic effects lingering..."

"No, thank you," Jack said quickly. "That won't be necessary." 

"Begging your pardon, Colonel, but I believe it is. Daniel has some major issues, he clearly requires help—"

"I very much doubt that Mackenzie with his Pop Psych 101 prattle and his 'Sounds of Nature' tapes are going to do him any good. I can help Daniel. I'm all the help Daniel needs." Jack folded his arms and tried to look foreboding. 

"I appreciate the sentiment, Colonel, but you haven't the medical experience to render— "

"Janet?" he said softly, throwing her off-guard by using her first name. A neat little trick he'd learned long ago. "As the C.M.O. on this base, I'm going to assume that you've read my file. My medical file? My _complete_ medical history?" 

She swallowed. "Yes, Colonel." Somber. So, she knew. 

"Then I think we both know that I have experience that more than qualifies me. Daniel does not need some damned head-doctor telling him to write out his _feelings_ in some stupid journal whilst undergoing trust-building exercises. What Daniel needs is for everyone to back off and give him some time. He needs fresh air and quiet and for everyone to stop looking at him like he's gonna break. Daniel's a smart guy; he'll get through this." 

Fraiser smiled tightly. "Yes, I agree. But not without professional help. Daniel needs— "

"Jack," Daniel said suddenly. They both turned to look at the younger man. "Daniel needs Jack." 

Jack's heart jumped in his throat then. He knew Daniel Jackson better than anyone. It was nice to have Daniel recognize that, too. 

"Daniel, are you sure?" Fraiser asked, concerned. Daniel looked at her with cutting clarity. 

"Very." 

"Well, all right. But only if you continue to keep your weight up and it doesn't affect your work." 

"He's lost weight?" Jack pounced. "How much weight?" 

"Only a few pounds, Colonel, but you know how he is." 

"He," Daniel said, "is getting tired of being referred to as if he isn't in the room." 

"Sorry, Danny," Jack soothed, stroking Daniel's arm. Fraiser reached out instinctively too, and Daniel scooted closer to Jack. 

"S-sorry," Daniel said, forcing himself to relax. 

"It's okay." Janet smiled. "I'm going to prescribe you an anti-anxiety medication. It's non-addictive and you only have to take it if you feel yourself getting overwhelmed. It shouldn't interfere with your allergies... Take it with food." 

"He'll be getting plenty of that," Jack assured. 

" _He_ ," Daniel stressed, "is going back to his lab to do his work." 

"I'll walk you." Daniel didn't argue. Daniel never argued, lately. That also had Jack concerned. 

 

 

 

 

They walked down the halls, Jack running interference and placing himself between   
Daniel and whoever else was in the hallway. Daniel slid his fingers along the painted   
strip on the wall and kept his eyes down.

"What's in your file that made Janet let you take care of me?" 

Jack started. Oh, he was so not going to get into that. "Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I had a little bout with it during the Gulf. Went a little nuts. So I guess she figures one loony can take care of another." Okay, why did lying to Daniel feel like committing cold- blooded murder? 

"Thanks, Jack." 

"What for?" 

"For not letting them saddle me with a shrink. I know they mean well, but I've never seen one that did a damned thing for me..." Daniel trailed off. 

Yeah. Jack could well understand. How many psychiatrists did young Daniel have to see? How many shrinks does it take to get to the center of Jackson's psyche? 

"You do need therapy, Daniel, just not the military kind. I'm thinking back on how I got through my shit. I worked out a lot. Learned to build things. Even tried pottery. Working out was the best though—you get stronger, it builds confidence, and if anyone tries to fuck with you again, you can kick their ass." 

Daniel frowned. "She did fuck me, didn't she? She must have... I don't remember it, exactly, but she must have, to get the larvae..." He sounded so far away even though Jack stood right next to him. 

"Daniel..."

The younger man sighed. "Just ignore me, Jack. I'm just working it out. Like you said, I'll get through this." 

"Yeah, you will, I promise ya that. But you've gotta go about it smart." He stopped, edging them into a corner. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean if you flinch every time someone comes near you and keep blanking out in the middle of a conversation, Fraiser's not gonna insist on therapy, she's gonna insist on a padded room. And quite frankly, Hammond's already not sure he should let you out in the field. SG-1 needs you. So, Daniel, listen carefully. I'm not saying you gotta suck it up and pretend the pain away, but I am saying you gotta work with me, let me help you get through this." 

Daniel shrugged. "How?" 

"I want you to start exercising. Three times a week. You can do it with me or with Teal'c. Nothing heavy. You can jog with me or something. It will clear your head and prove useful on missions. I want you to eat three meals a day and actually take the pills Doc gave you. And Daniel, here's the most important part, if you start to freak out, I want you to come to me. Right away. Don't let it build up or try and be brave, you call me, you find me, we'll get through it. You are not alone." 

Daniel blinked rapidly. "Thanks. Yeah, okay, thanks Jack." 

"Okay." He wanted to hug him, but they were on base. "Meet you for lunch?" 

"Yeah. See you there." 

 

 

 

 

Lunchtime rolled around and Daniel did not come down to their table. Teal'c and Sam   
looked at Jack with knowing expressions as he silently slid back his chair and went after   
the man.

Daniel sat at his desk, face two inches from the computer screen, scratchy footage from one of the archeological finds of an SG team flashing by. 

"Yo, Daniel." 

"Jack?" Daniel said, not looking at him. 

"There's this funny ritual we have on Earth. It's called a 'lunch date.' During a 'lunch date' the party of the first—that would be me—sits at the predetermined table at the predetermined time waiting for the party of the second—this is where it gets good, Daniel, because that's you—to join them and they partake of something called 'food' which, if you'll recall, was something a medical professional insisted you partake of under threat of psychotherapy. So... How come you're not at lunch?" 

"Not hungry." Still not looking at him. 

Jack wanted to scream. He was not a patient man. Not by nature. He did his best for Daniel—always spoke softly, was always ready to listen, never pushed him—but he was running out of patience now. Was it time for tough love? 

If he insisted Daniel come down to the commissary, he would. He'd trail along, shuffle the food around his plate until it was cold, and then give Jack the puppy-eyes and beg to be excused. This was not conducive to his goals. When it came to common sense or self- preservation, Daniel sometimes acted like a child. 

So he thought back on what he did when Charlie got like this, and realized that what Daniel needed was the illusion of choice. Not that there was choice, because Daniel _would_ eat and Daniel _would_ take his medicine or Jack would go ape-shit on his ass, but he decided that he'd give the non-ape-shit tactic a try, first. 

"Daniel. You can come down and eat with Sam, Teal'c and me, or I can bring you a tray up. Which would you like?" 

Daniel considered for a moment and then sighed. "Well, I guess I could use a break." 

"Great!" 

Jack walked him down to the commissary, smiling when Sam's eyes lit up at seeing Daniel, and Teal'c did that funny thing with his eyebrow that made him look like he was overjoyed... or constipated... 

"Daniel!" Sam said happily. "Come sit by me!" 

Crap. "You want left or right, Danny boy?" 

"Ah... left, I guess." Daniel sat next to Sam and Jack sat across from him, so Daniel could, at any time, let him know when it got to be too much with just a glance. 

"I am indeed most pleased to see you here, Daniel Jackson. Midday meals have not been the same without you." 

"Thanks, Teal'c." Daniel shifted. "So what's on the menu today?" 

Carter straightened. "Lemon chicken or roast beef. You should have the beef, cause the chicken is..."

Ah, Carter's going to fuck this up, Jack thought. "Scary. Daniel? I'm gonna head up. You want scary chicken or scary beef?" 

Carter shot him a look and he let her know with his glance that this was a pointed exercise. She didn't get it, but she'd follow along. 

"Ah, beef seems the way to go." 

"Right. Be right back." He hurried through the line, making sure Daniel got extra gravy drizzled on the roast because he _was_ looking a little thin these days, and he grabbed two cartons of milk and some cookies and a banana, cause he knew Daniel liked those. 

He rushed back to the table but was pleasantly surprised to see that Daniel was handling everything pretty well. He and Sam were talking about something, geek-speak going a mile a minute, and he didn't even try to follow along, but he could tell that Daniel was really relaxing, he wasn't faking it. 

Putting the tray down he said, "Dig in." Daniel smiled. 

"Thanks, Jack." 

Sam reached over to steal one of the cookies and Daniel caught her hand out of reflex. He held it out there tense for a moment, and everyone held their breath. Then Daniel turned her palm upwards and placed a cookie in it, giving her a wink. "Just one. Next time get your own colonel to bring you cookies, Sam!" 

She laughed, genuinely relieved, and Jack had to take a drink because otherwise he was gonna split his face open with a stupid grin or something. He had good kids. 

"Is it customary for military personnel to bring teammates cookies? I would be honored to procure some for you, Captain Carter," Teal'c said, and Jack could have _sworn_ that was a joke, but you could never tell with the big guy. 

"Hear that, Sam?" Daniel said, cutting his roast precisely. "You take Teal'c's offer. I spent months training Jack and now I've got him just where I want him." 

Not quite, Jack thought, but he let it slide. "I respond well to threats of a rolled up newspaper." 

"I'll keep that in mind... sir," Carter said, her eyes twinkling. 

The rest of the meal went over easy like that, and Daniel finished everything on his plate but the banana. 

"Bananas are a good source of potassium, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c informed him. "It would be wise to partake of its benefits." 

"Ah, yeah," Daniel hedged. "I'm a little full. Not used to eating so much lately. But I'll save it for later." 

"What a man does with his banana later is his own private business, I always say," Jack said dryly. 

Daniel threw the fruit at him. The man was a monkey...

Yes, things were getting back to normal. 

 

 

 

 

That night, Daniel slipped into bed and laid his head on Jack's chest—intimately, the way   
Sara used to after they'd made love—and he sighed. Jack's hands instinctively stroked   
him, touching his bare arms, his back.

"You okay?" he asked. 

"I'm gonna be." 

Jack held him tightly and let out a sigh of his own. Daniel tangled their legs together and nuzzled his throat, and Jack prayed silently that he wouldn't get an erection... but what was the likelihood of that when he had the gorgeous Daniel Jackson plastered up against him? 

"Jack?" 

"It's my sidearm, I swear." An old joke. Daniel snickered. 

"I don't mind." 

"You don't?" 

"I was beginning to get worried..."

"What?" Jack asked. "That I might be losing my virility? Gee, Daniel, I'm not that old!" 

Daniel nuzzled him again. He really should stop doing that. Doing that made Jack just want to nuzzle right back. "I was worried you wouldn't... didn't find me... ah, attractive, anymore." 

Fuck. Christ. Fuck. "Daniel, if you must know, sometimes I just have to stand in the same room with you and I get hard. You are, without question, extremely, devastatingly, post- apocalyptically sexy. Okay? I hope you believe me, because I am not going to get caught dead saying something like that again." 

Daniel lifted up on his elbow and peered at Jack. Slowly, he leaned forward and brushed a kiss on the corner of Jack's mouth, and Jack held himself still because he didn't know where this was going. He opened when Daniel asked entrance, and let Daniel tentatively stroke their tongues together, and that was it, he was fully hard and ready to turn Daniel over and slide between his knees. 

Except that he knew better. Daniel was pushing boundaries, because Daniel needed to know that he was still desirable, and because Daniel needed to touch, to connect, and most of all, because Daniel needed to know how far he could trust Jack. 

So Jack kissed him and then deliberately lowered Daniel's head back on his chest and wrapped them up in blankets. "Good night, Daniel," he said. 

"'Night, Jack." 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

The next day they go to see the eclipse on Hanka, or PX8-987 as Sam calls it, and Daniel   
strikes up a casual conversation, because if he doesn't start doing that, Jack says he's   
going to earn himself a rubber room.

"So, what exactly are we going to see after this eclipse begins? I mean it is black. And it is a hole..." he trails off. 

"Well," Jack says, "it might be a _black hole_."

Daniel rolls his eyes. "Okay, let me put that a different way." 

"No Daniel, you're right," Sam pipes in. "You can't actually see it, not the singularity itself. It's so massive not even light can escape it. But during the totality phase of the eclipse, we should be able to see matter spiraling towards it." 

"Actually, it's call the Accretion Disc," Jack says. 

Oh. "Well I guess it's easy to understand why the local population would be afraid of something like thi.... What did you just say!?" Daniel is stunned that something like 'Accretion Disc' just came out of Jack's mouth... in front of Sam. 

Jack shrugs. "It's just an astronomical term." 

Sam smiles. "You didn't think the Colonel has a telescope on his roof just to look at his neighbors, did you?" Jack and Sam share a look. 

Since when has Sam been up on the roof to see Jack's telescope? Huh? Since when did Sam know that Jack was into astronomy? Hmm? Jealousy spikes through him at the very thought. 

"Well, not initially," Jack jokes. Was he flirting with Sam? Or with Daniel? 

Why did it matter so much to him? 

 

 

 

 

They make their way to the observatory, when they come upon a man who has collapsed.   
Jack turns him over and they see the open sores all over his body. "Oh God," Jack says.   
"All right, MOPP four!" and then everyone puts on their masks except for Teal'c.

Daniel gets the kit out of his bag and watches Jack wash his hands with growing fear. What was Jack just exposed to? 

 

 

 

 

When Janet comes through and examines them in the decontamination tent, Jack assures   
her that he washed his hands thoroughly. Daniel still worries, though.

He sneezes and Jack spins around. "Allergies, right?" 

Panic, barely contained. Jack's worried for him, too. 

"R-right," Janet stutters. Oh, that makes him feel so much better. 

 

 

 

 

They march through the fields in full suits, tagging bodies as they go. Daniel feels   
horrible about the whole thing. "They told me when we came here three months ago, that   
with darkness would come the apocalypse. It was part of their mythology, and what did   
we tell them? It's just an eclipse, and there's nothing to worry about."

Sam tags another body, and a tiny little hand reaches out from the underbrush and steals the marker away. That is how they first met Cassie. 

 

 

 

 

Cassandra means a great deal more to Daniel than perhaps Jack understands. Jack loves   
children, Daniel knows, but when he looks at Cassandra, he sees Cassandra. When Daniel   
looks at Cassie, he sees an orphan. An orphan that witnessed her parents' death. That was   
left entirely alone. An innocent that a Goa'uld manipulated and made into a weapon.

Did anyone else see the irony? 

Furthermore, when Daniel looks as Cassandra, he sees a chance to put a wrong to rights, to protect an innocent, to save the last of a dead people. Daniel sits outside this child's door all night long, guarding over her as he wished someone would have done for him, at that age. Besides, with Jack and Teal'c at the observatory on '987 for the eclipse, it's not like he's getting any sleep tonight anyway... 

He thinks of her as if she was his salvation, and perhaps, she is. He offers to sit with her, spend time with her, but Sam wants her all to herself, so desperately. 

He wonders what Sam thinks of her as? 

 

 

 

 

When Janet shows them the X-ray that reveals the bomb in Cassie's chest, Daniel   
immediately begins to detach. That doesn't do anything to douse the anger though.

 

 

 

 

"It's a set up, it has to be," he hisses out. "The Goa'uld wiped out every last living person   
on that planet except Cassandra. And then they made us think that it was our fault,   
because they knew we wouldn't leave her there; they new we would bring her back here.   
And they used their technology to put that thing inside of her."

Sam thinks out loud, "It's like they designed a way for us to help them create the device, after she came through the Stargate, so we wouldn't detect it until it was to late." 

"We gave her iron supplements," Janet says. "We may have even turned the device on with a jolt of electricity when we resuscitated her..."

Hammond cuts to the chase with, "You're saying it might destroy us?" 

"They used that little girl like a Trojan horse," Daniel grinds out, furious. 

 

 

 

 

He watches Sam stand there and cry. "How could they do this?"

Sighing, he says, "Well, to a Goa'uld, she's not as we see her. She's a tool. Her death is a very cheap way to get rid of us." Daniel hates them. He wants to kill them all. That was not his way at one time, but now...

"I know I am supposed to be detached..."

"Who said that?" 

Sam smiles. "Sometimes I forget you're not military." 

Yes, so does Teal'c and Jack. He never does. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

__  
You know, there were several times over the course of my career at the SGC that I can  
point to and say—that hurt like a bitch. Most of those times involved losing you, you   
damned fool. 

But with Cassandra's chest ticking away and all the innocent lives of Colorado Springs to save, a choice had to be made. I had to let Carter take that kid down into the fallout shelter and leave her there to die. 

Should have known better, shouldn't I? The second that kid woke up from her coma... There's no way Carter would've left her behind, just like there's no way I would have left you in a similar situation. Maternal instincts, you once said. It goes deeper. When you look at a kid—or at someone you love—you're not just seeing them, are you? You're seeing the future. The potential. The reason.

You have no idea what it did to me, to let both my girls go down that elevator. 

Or maybe you do. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel watches Cassie's eyes light up when Jack comes strolling into the park carrying   
the cutest, okay, ugliest, dog in creation. Shiba Inu or something...? Whatever, it's cute,   
but ugly.

"It's an Earth rule, every kid has to have one. But I don't mind," Cassie says seriously. 

Yes, in Jack's world, every kid has a dog and there's no problem that ice cream and a cuddle can't fix. He could very, very easily fall in love with Jack. Looking over at Jack now, he wonders what the older man is thinking. 

"Why don't I take the dog for a little walk?" Jack picks up the pooch. "Come here. Teal'c, you know anything about dogs?" 

Daniel follows them, smiling softly to himself. He knows that Janet will take Cassie in. Give her a good home. She's going to be fine. 

Looking at Jack, Daniel knows... so is he. 

 

 

~*~

 

 


	16. Ile CorAi

 

 

**16\. Ile CorAi**

 

 

 

One more mile, and Daniel was _going_ to _die._

How the hell did Jack get up at the crack of five every morning and _do_ this? 

He panted. He wheezed. He was on the verge of vomiting out his lungs. Oh, God, he'd give anything to make it stop. There were aches in places he didn't know could ache. 

"Come on, Daniel," Jack called over his shoulder. "It's only been three miles. This is basic training stuff." 

"Not... for... archeo... oh... oh..." He stopped, bending over. Screw this exercise crap; he'd take Mackenzie. 

Jack jogged over and rubbed a hand up and down his back. "You okay there, buddy? You're looking a little... like a flat line waiting to happen..." 

He glared up at Jack, but didn't do anything to move, because moving would mean that Jack would take away his hand. And he didn't want that. "Couldn't we... have started out... slow? Like... walking?" Oxygen was _good_.

"Jeez, Daniel. How'd they let you in when you're so out of shape, huh?" 

" _Civilian_ consultant?" 

Jack's fingers pressed to his neck, taking his pulse. "You don't have permission to keel over on me." 

"You've ruined... all my ... evil plans... for cardiac arrest." 

Jack slapped him on the back. "Oh, all right. I'll go easy on you. We can walk back." 

Was the man completely insane? "No." He pouted. He knew he was pouting. "You can walk back. And then bring back the car." 

The bastard thought he was kidding. Daniel didn't kid about shit like this. "I'm serious." 

Turned that smiled upside down, did it? "Daniel?" Concern now. Yes, that was more appropriate. "Are you okay?" 

"No. I'm sweaty and tired, and while that's nothing I can't normally handle, I'm also cramping and can't breathe. I'm not moving. Get the car." He folded his arms over his chest. 

Jack gaped like a fish for a few seconds. Then he got right up in Daniel's face. "Jackson, if you think I'm going to run back to the house just so I can get the car and drive your sorry ass back home, you've got another think coming. You're severely out of shape and you need to kick in gear... Hey, what are you doing?" 

Daniel sat down on the curb, folding his legs Indian-style, and rested his wrists on his kneecaps. Colonel O'Neill, irresistible force? Meet Daniel Jackson, immovable object. 

"I am not bringing you the fucking _car_!"

 

 

 

 

He fiddled with the radio while Jack cursed and pulled out on to the main road. 

"...I can't believe you, Daniel. It's a wonder you geeks don't all die out from muscle atrophy. Love of God, can't even run three miles without wheezing like a bus stop. It's incredible they let you in the program. Why wasn't I informed of this on your last physical evaluation? If I had known about this earlier..."

Turning the volume up, Daniel settled into the nice comfy seat and looked out the window. Of course Daniel could run five miles... when he had to... But Jack didn't need to know that. The sooner Jack wised up to the fact that Daniel was _not_ his new pet project, the better. 

Daniel preferred the ice cream and cuddle method of therapy anyway. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Teal'c sometimes wondered if Colonel O'Neill's thought processes were indicative of, or an exception to, normal Tau'ri behavior. 

The man had barged in during Teal'c's Kel-No-Reem, ranting almost incoherently about Daniel Jackson's inability to complete their morning jog. He followed Teal'c down to the commissary, babbling about training schedules and signing up for use of the mat room, when Daniel Jackson breezed by them with coffee in one hand, and a doughnut balanced on a book in another. 

O'Neill snatched the doughnut from Daniel Jackson's grasp. "No more carbs for you! Or sugar! You need to get in shape! Go get yourself some oatmeal... I want you down in that weight room at sixteen hundred today, ready to go; you hear me, Daniel?" A vein pulsed in O'Neill's forehead. 

"Yes, Jack," Daniel said calmly, circling around them, picking up another doughnut and breezing out of the commissary. 

O'Neill sputtered. "Did you see that? Did you _see_ it, Teal'c? No respect. I'm the man's commanding officer, for crying out loud!" 

"O'Neill," he said, stopping the other man's diatribe. "I believe your desire to assist Daniel Jackson's attempt at gaining physical strength and prowess is admirable." 

"Thank you, Teal'c." 

"But I do not think your methods are effective. Daniel Jackson appears to have no wish to do this type of exercise." 

O'Neill... pouted. "Ain't it a crying shame that he doesn't have a choice?" 

"I believe, as he has clearly indicated, that he does, in fact, have a choice." Teal'c picked up a bunch of bananas, some 'cereal' that Captain Carter had recommended, and a bagel with little raisins. He handed a banana to Jack. "Perhaps if it were to seem more like a game to Daniel Jackson, and less like discipline..."

O'Neill frowned, thinking. "You mean, make it more like play, less like work?" 

"That is a wise decision, O'Neill." O'Neill hadn't actually made any decision. He hadn't even fully comprehended what Teal'c was saying, but Teal'c was hungry and felt they had exhausted the subject of Daniel Jackson's health habits. 

"Yeah. I get good ideas sometimes," O'Neill muttered, turning on his heels to follow Daniel Jackson. 

Teal'c never remembered giving Bra'tac this much trouble...

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Jack walked into Daniel's lab. "Hey, Daniel? Want to go play some hockey? You know, I promised to teach you." 

"Ah...." Daniel looked like a deer in headlights. "That's really sweet, Jack, but... ah...."

"You did so well the last time..." Jack trailed off, remembering the last time, when they ended up tangled in each other's arms and he had come close to kissing Daniel. Okay. Nope. Bad, bad thoughts. Jack was not going to think these bad thoughts. Because it never happened. "Never mind..." He stalked out of the room. 

 

 

 

 

Jack walked into Daniel's lab. "Hey, Daniel? You ever tried your hand at boxing?" 

"Boxing?" Daniel said with disdain. 

"Yeah, you know. Boxing. The sport? Gloves. Jabs. Sugar Ray. I coulda been a contenda!" Jack did his best to smile. 

"Boxing is _not_ a sport. It's a brutal and disgusting pastime, rather like bull fighting, but where two men step into a ring and pound at each other like rabid animals." 

Oooooooookay. He watched as Daniel took a deep breath, working himself up to launch into a full rant. 

"Never mind." He stalked out of the room. 

 

 

 

 

Jack walked into Daniel's lab. "Hey, Daniel? There's this new rock-climbing hall they just opened in town—"

"Get out, Jack." 

"Right." 

 

 

 

 

Admitting defeat, Jack drove Daniel to the house that evening and let him sit on the couch, eat his Cherry Garcia and watch Turner Classic Movies. He was a man without hope. But the entire point of the exercise was to find Daniel a way to get some psychological warm-fuzzies, and if that entailed other men—men like Ben and Jerry and Cary Grant, well, Jack supposed he could share. 

"Mmm," Daniel said, licking the spoon. "I love _Bringing up Baby_." 

"Yeah, it's harder than it looks," Jack retorted, staring at the spoon. Tongue. Cream. Mesmerized. It was totally freaking him out, whatever this was between Daniel and him. He sat there, watching Daniel, wondering how the hell he went from hard-ass, Special Ops-Air Force-colonel, to pushover, ice cream-eating, gay-as-the-day-is-long Jack O'Neill. 

It didn't make any sense. He didn't like Cher. He liked Madonna, in the sense that he wanted to _fuck_ Madonna, not raid her wardrobe. He liked fishing. And boxing. And going to bars! He hadn't gone to a bar in ages since he started hanging out with Daniel. He liked barbequing! And breasts! Let no one forget how much he liked breasts! Big, beautiful ones that bobbed and jiggled. 

Daniel laughed at the TV and his nose crinkled up, and his toes curled over the edge of the coffee table, and Jack just had to look at him to know... 

None of it mattered. Daniel just fit. 

They fit. 

"Jack?" 

"Hm?" he acknowledged, turning to the TV. 

"I've been thinking..."

"Three little words I _so_ love to hear..."

Daniel put down the ice cream. "Well, I mean... It's getting warmer out. Not exactly freezing anymore." 

"Yeah?" Don't look at the toes, he thought. Don't look at the toes. 

"So maybe, in the evenings, if we don't have anything better to do... we could, you know... go for walks." 

"Walks?" 

"Yes. And by that I mean _walks_ , not jogs, not runs, not hikes. Walks. I almost never get out of the mountain anymore. It would be nice, when the weather changes..."

He smiled. "You got it." 

Daniel cleared his throat. "In the mean time, I was thinking... there's a pottery wheel in the guest room." 

"In your room?" he stressed, just for the hell of seeing Daniel duck his head. "Yeah, it belonged to my Ma." 

"Well, it's a shame to let it just sit there, unused." 

Jack was surprised. "You do pottery?" 

"Ah, no... I study pottery. I don't know how to make it." Daniel glanced at the screen. "Thought maybe you could teach me." 

Visions of the movie _Ghost_ sprang to Jack's mind. Oh, no. Not going there! "Ah, I never actually learned. Ma thought it would be good to try, after Char... Um. But I never really..."

Daniel turned off the TV and got up, stretching. Skin. There was skin. Tummy. Not looking. Not remembering their kiss...

"No time like the present." 

"Huh?" 

Daniel playfully ruffled his hair. "I said, no time like the present. Go bring it out, I'll lay down some newspaper." 

"I don't even know if I have clay..." Jack got up. Daniel was taking an active interest in something that wasn't Hathor-induced-fugue or carb-and-calorie related, so Jack would walk to the nearest craft store and get him some damned clay. 

"You do. It's in the closet. I saw it when I put the..." Yeah, the suitcases in there. Still have those suitcases, don't you, Daniel? 

"Okay. I'll grab it. You lay out the paper." 

 

 

 

 

Disaster. Utter. His kitchen was coated in strips of clay that had shuffled off the wheel and splattered onto his counters and cupboards. The newspaper did nothing to sop up the wet goo now sticking to the floor. And Daniel was laughing. 

Actually, Daniel was in fits, giggling like a loon, clay in his hair and on his face. He was so happy. Jack couldn't help but grin as he attempted to remove a streak of red earth from Daniel's cheek. 

Eyes twinkling in mischief, Daniel smeared his wet palms over Jack's face, spreading the clay all over him. 

"You rat bastard!" Jack howled, both of them laughing now. He fisted a lump of what would have been a bowl if Daniel hadn't had a lead foot where the pedal was concerned, and threatened to hurl it at the linguist. 

"No! Wait! Hold your fire!" Daniel crossed his arms over his head, still smiling. "Jack! You throw that and it could land in the living room. Think of your upholstery!" 

They cracked up. "Daniel, you are seriously whacked, you know that, right?" 

"Kettle," Daniel said, pointing to himself, then pointed to Jack, "pot." 

Jack pointed to the lump. "Bowl. Not." 

They both fought back smiles until their eyes misted over. Daniel's laugh was so infectious. "Jesus, Jack, I'm sorry..."

"No you're not." 

"No, I'm not. But it sounded good." Daniel chuckled, grabbing his waist and grinning stupidly. 

"Monkey. That's what you are! You're always slinging stuff at me. Bananas. Clay. I guess I should be grateful you don't hurl your crap at me first thing in the mornings." 

Jack reached up, Daniel blocked, but not for long, because Jack gentled his hands and removed bits of goo from Daniel's bangs. He allowed himself a little stroking. "Your hair is so long," he murmured. A luxury. 

Daniel looked at him with what could only be described as hunger. Jack recognized it, and knew he must have the same expression plastered on his own face. The simple fact of the matter was—they wanted each other. 

"Uh... I should... we should get cleaned up," Daniel whispered. 

Jack smiled. "I dunno, Dr. Jackson. You're more fun when you're dirty." Christ. Did he just _say_ that? 

"Did you just _say_ that?" Daniel bit his lips to keep from laughing in his face. 

"Yeah, um... I did." Jack looked down, silently thanking God he didn't blush. "You're gonna have to take off your clothes now." 

Daniel's eyes got big as saucers. "What!" 

"Um, look at your clothes? There's no way you're walking to the shower trailing that shit everywhere. Bad enough it's in the kitchen, at least that I can rub down. If you're gonna get clean, you better strip!" 

Shy, suddenly very shy, Daniel looked like he wanted to disappear. Why? It's not like Jack hadn't seen him in his boxers every night for the past several weeks. Unless... unless Daniel was... hard. 

He swallowed. Shit. 

Okay, on the one hand—yay! It works! After Hathor, he wasn't sure Danny... But on the other hand, yikes! Hard, hard for him. Oh, boy...

"On second thought, I'll strip down," he said, amazed at how the words came out of his mouth without first stopping off at his brain and collecting $200. "I'll shower first. This is your doing; you clean up the papers. You know where the trash bags are." Jack started removing his clothes. Daniel watched him, and tried to look like he wasn't watching, so Jack had a little fun, taking his shirt off slowly. What the hell were they playing at? "I'll be two shakes of a lamb's tail." 

He padded out of the room, quickly, before Daniel could see that he was also... responding...

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel watched Jack stroll—naked at the day he was born—towards the bathroom, leaving him in the wake of a kitchen mudslide. Shaking his head, he started cleaning up. 

He didn't let himself think about what Jack said about being dirty. He didn't think about the way Jack's brown eyes sizzled for a moment there. Certainly wasn't going to think about the tanned skin taut over rippling muscles.... Nope. No. Married. Married man, that was Daniel. 

This whole thing with Jack was just some weird after-effect of their fucked up lives. Or gate travel. Take your pick; they probably had an alien virus too. 

Still, Jack looked... hot. 

He scrubbed the counters and cabinets. "Ah, for crying out loud," he said, wiping up the clay with paper towels. This stuff got hard, fast. Rather like he did...

Not going anywhere near it with a ten-foot pole, Daniel! 

He was really stuck between a rock and a hard place, pun intended. Daniel didn't like being away from Jack for too long. He not only let Jack touch him, he liked for Jack to touch him. Found he craved it. 

When out of his presence, the darkness and chill edged back into Daniel's mind. When Jack was there, things were safe, normal. Even the weird shit like making clay bowls in the kitchen on a Sunday night—or... or kissing while doing the dishes—even the insane stuff felt normal, safe, around Jack. Daniel could be himself around Jack. Daniel, for once, liked who he was... when he was with Jack. 

That was one of the reasons he couldn't stop crawling into Jack's bed at night. He was getting over Hathor, he really was. A part of him would always hurt and always hate, but... But he was dealing with it, not letting it control him. 

Then again, maybe it still was. Because he was only fine if he had Jack around. Especially at night. Couldn't fall asleep—still—without Jack's arms around him. And Jack didn't seem to have a problem with this. In fact, Jack seemed to welcome it. He never pressured Daniel, never pushed Daniel to move on, or move... forward... He was just... there. Ready. Whenever Daniel was. 

Sooner or later, Daniel was going to have to make a choice. 

"Daniel?" Jack called softly. Daniel wiped up the last of the clay and turned to see Jack leaning on the kitchen doorway, towel wrapped around him, hair still wet from the shower, glistening... muscles... spicy smell... oh, God...

"Yeah?" 

"All yours." Jack threw his head back to indicate the shower and padded down the hall. "Whenever you're ready." 

Oh, fuck. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Jack tossed a balled up wad of paper at Daniel's head while Hammond had his back turned. Daniel shot him a severe glare and then promptly ignored him. Carter didn't notice, and Teal's barely raised an eyebrow. Was he getting predictable? 

Blah, blah, blah, P3X-whatever, search for technology, meet and greet, yadda, yadda, they heard this already. Couldn't they just go through the gate? 

They were already suited up. Had on the nifty vests. Form-fitting. Daniel had a nice form to fit. And those thigh straps... Whoa. Daniel's thighs were a happy thing on a bleak Monday morning. Was this ice-rain ever gonna stop? Driving was a bitch. 

Good thing Danny slept over; that way Jack could drive them in with his jeep. Like he was gonna let Daniel brave a Colorado winter with that little Mazda rental. Please. 

Not that he'd tell Daniel that, cause then he'd never hear the end of how Daniel was a grown man and could handle himself, yadda, yadda. Desert dunes on stinky camels? Daniel could handle it. Black ice and white outs? No, sir, that was Jack's territory. 

Still, Daniel looked so adorable when he got miffed at Jack's 'mother hen' routine. Maybe he would say something to Daniel just to get a rise out of him... Rise...

"Do you have anything to add, Colonel?" Hammond said. Huh? Wha? Thigh straps? 

"No, sir, I think you covered it," he cupped the air with his hands, "in its entirety." 

"Then you have a go. Prepare to embark." Hammond didn't look fooled but Jack was grateful he let it slide. 

Mondays sucked. Sundays were awesome. Sundays, he got to wake up wrapped in a Daniel-blanket and stay there until he had to pee, then they had coffee and Jack did the crossword while Daniel groped for consciousness. Groped...

"You weren't fooling anyone, Jack," Daniel said as they walked up the ramp. "What were you thinking about, anyway?" 

Maybe tonight they'd watch TV. The old Tarzan movie was coming on. Tarzan had a chimpanzee. And a cheetah. And nice thighs...And a loincloth! All around good stuff. 

Jack smiled at Daniel and stepped into the shimmering light. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel follows Jack through the gate, thinking that the older man is particularly distracted lately. Once on the other side, he thinks that this is how Dorothy must have felt her first time in Munchkin land. There were _signs_ of life everywhere, but not a soul to be found. 

"O'Neill," Teal'c says. "I have been here before." 

"What? You have?" If Teal'c has, maybe the Goa'uld go here often, maybe Sha're comes here... maybe Sha're...

"Yes. This world is called Cartago." 

Okay. That's a start. Daniel looks around at the abandoned marketplace. "What can you tell us about it?" 

"The Goa'uld visit here regularly. It is one of their favorites places to harvest hosts for Goa'uld absorption." 

Bright anger. Crackling. "You know, I wish you wouldn't say 'harvest.' We're talking about human beings, not brussel sprouts." 

"That is how the Goa'uld perceive it," Teal'c clarifies, like Daniel needs clarification of the matter. Oh, he should stop harping on Teal'c. It's Jack he's upset with. Jack's got him feeling all weird lately. He keeps staring at Daniel. And... and Daniel likes it. And the attraction push-and-pull is back in full force and he doesn't know how to deal with it. Most frustrating. 

"So the locals aren't used to friendly visitors," he says. 

"Well, that would answer why no welcome mat, I suppose, huh?" Jack says. Smartass. Why did he have to find the smartass so damned sexy? 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Once inside the temple... structure... meeting hall... whatever the hell you want to call it, the locals pounce on them with their version of _Buffy, the Vampire Slayer_ crossbows. Jack had watched the show... with Cassie... and sometimes without... Hey, he wasn't about to feel guilty. He loved sci-fi. Plus, it had girls with big swords and stuff! Like Xena, but valley girl. 

"Hak-ka!" the leader shouts, and Jack wonders what the hell he did to deserve a Monday morning like this one. 

SG-1 faces off against the locals, each side aiming their weapons at the other. _Baa da, baa dadada..._ he hums in his head. 

"Colonel?" Carter asks, wanting some direction. 

"Hold your fire." 

"They probably think we're Goa'ulds," Daniel says. 

Well that's peachy. "Daniel? Think you could find a language that would communicate to these people that we're human like they are, and that we're friendly?" 

"Why should I believe you? That is a weapon," the leader says. 

"So is that," he counters. "Tell you what. I'll go first." Jack lowers his weapon. The villagers do so as well, after a silent command by their leader. Good. Dandy. Things are going swell. 

Suddenly the leader shouts, "Jaffa!" and everyone's weapons are back up. 

"Hold it!" Daniel shouts. 'Atta boy, Daniel. 

"Jaffa yes, but he's good guy," Jack states. 

"You don't know him," Carter backs him up. "He's peaceful. Tell him you're peaceful, Teal'c." 

"It is true." 

They gotta work on Teal'c's delivery. 

"He lies!" the leader shouts. "I know him." 

Oh, boy. _Monday, Monday! Can't trust that day._ "How?" 

"This Jaffa killed my father." 

For crying out loud...

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel watches Jack's casual mood evaporate as the leader—Hanno—accuses Teal'c of murder. Jack gets more and more agitated, and Daniel can see he's going to have to run interference on this one, because one way to get the stubborn old colonel to go on a rampage is to pick on one of his 'kids.' 

"Cor-ai will sustain my belief," Hanno says proudly. 

"Cor-ai?" Daniel asks. He doesn't recognize the word. 

"But first you meet the elders. Come!" Hanno leads them out of room. 

"I always wanted to meet the elders," Jack mutters. 

 

 

 

 

The village square floods with people. 

Daniel frowns. "That's interesting. I wonder if everyone's coming from some religious event?" 

"Why does it always have to be a religious thing with you?" Jack snaps. "Maybe they're coming from a swap meet!" 

Okay. Jack has officially gone from sour to cranky. 

"When the Gods come through the Circ Kakona, we scatter in many directions to hide from those who would hurt us. They are overdue to visit us again," Hanno explains. 

"Circ, that's a Latin derivation..." Daniel pushes up his glasses. "Circova Kakona - that's Greek. That's weird. Two root languages in one culture." 

Jack doesn't seem to care. How is this news? 

"What does it mean?" Sam asks. Thank God for Sam, otherwise Daniel would go nuts. 

"Circ Kakona... circle of woes. Their name for the Stargate?" It's as good a guess as any. 

"I don't like this." Sam looks uncomfortable. It does nothing to improve Jack's tension, Daniel notices, so he tries to stay calm. But he doesn't like it either. 

"You may approach," the matriarch says, turning to Jack. "You are the leader, yes?" 

"Yes," Jack says simply. 

"You may go." 

"Just like that?" Jack sounds stunned. 

He can't let this opportunity go. He remembers what General Hammond said about the vital importance of establishing treaties and besides, the cultural value alone... "Wait, we'd like to say a little while and learn from you. Possibly you can learn from us. I mean, you seem to need help avoiding the Goa'ulds." 

"You may go. Now," she insists. 

Doesn't she want help against the Goa'ulds? 

"Daniel? It's important that we respect our elders." Jack nods to Teal'c. "Teal'c, dial it up." 

Insufferable, smug, condescending, sexy bastard. 

"Not him," the matriarch says. 

Villagers surround Teal'c, holding their weapons on him. Oh, Jack's not going to like this. Three, two, one...

"Excuse me?" Jack stalks over to Teal'c. 

Hanno steps in front. "For him there will be Cor-ai." 

"All right, let me bottom line it for you, okay? You can't have that man." Jack points to Teal'c emphatically. 

"He's not a man. He's Jaffa," Hanno insists. This can't be good. They don't even identify Teal'c as of the same ilk...

"He's already told you, he doesn't know who you are!" Jack insists. 

Hanno walks in front of Teal'c. "You say you don't remember me?" 

"I do not." Teal'c is frowning, Daniel can see he's really trying...

"Then maybe you remember this?" Hanno holds up a worn, crude crutch. 

They can all tell by Teal'c's expression, in that moment, that Teal'c knows exactly who Hanno is, and who his father was, and what he's done. 

"Don't say anything, Teal'c!" Jack commands. 

"But I must." Yes, he must, because Teal'c is an honorable man... Jaffa. Would Jack have him lie? 

"That's an order. Don't say anything." Well, apparently Jack would have him withhold. 

Daniel frowns, wondering how well he really knows Jack...

 

 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=016Corai.jpg)   


 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Jack looks at Teal'c behind the barred box and tamps down on the urge to plant a C-4 and head for the hills. "All right, when they come back, Daniel, you draw 'em in. Carter and I will take right and left flanks." 

"Ooh, wait a minute. Are you talking break out?" 

No. He's planning to dance with them around Teal'c like the man is a Maypole. "Uh, yeah? We're gonna grab Teal'c and head straight for the Stargate. It'd be nice if we could do it without bloodshed." Nice, but he's not above it. 

"No." Teal'c... 

"Excuse me?" 

"Do not attempt your plan. I will not go." Did he step into the Twilight Zone again, because it sounded like one of his team just refused an order? 

"You know, that's a really odd sound. I thought you just said you wouldn't go?" 

"That is correct," Teal'c says. 

Okay. He'll bite. "Why?" 

"Because to go would disrespect the Byrsa." 

"Disrespect?" 

"Teal'c is right. We should show some respect." Daniel edges closer. 

Respect? These people want to kill a member of his team! "Did anyone else hear that kid say that Teal'c was guilty already? For all we know, they wanna kill him." 

"Wait, wait, wait," Daniel says, "who said anything about killing? I mean all they said was they want to put him through Cor-ai. Now near as I can figure, that is like a simple trial." 

"Now see," Jack holds up his hands, "it's that 'near as I can figure' part that's got me a little worried. What if their idea of a simple trial is a simple beheading?" 

"I will not run," Teal'c says placidly. 

Ah for cripes' sake! 

 

 

 

 

A Byrsa woman kneels before Teal'c, waiting to hear his pecker-whatever-confession. Not gonna happen, lady. 

"Innocent until proven guilty. Heard of it?" he asks, taking off his glasses. 

"Actually," Daniel starts in, "throughout history the idea's pretty rare. Most cultures usually assume things the other way around...." He's gonna kill him. "I'm just saying..." 

"I must hear the Jaffa's pecca-ve," the woman says sweetly. 

"Well, you're out of luck, 'cause you're not gonna get him to pecca-anything." He's getting pissed now. This is ridiculous. 

"Then who will be his voice?" she asks, clearly distressed at the notion that Teal'c won't have any kind of defense... or is it just distress at the break from protocol? 

Jack smiles. "That would be me." 

"Uh, you?" Carter asks. 

"You will be his voice for the Cor-ai?" the woman asks. 

Yeah, sure, you betcha. "Yep." 

"As you wish. I will tell the elders." She and her handmaidens walk away. 

"You sure you're up to this?" Daniel asks. 

Daniel, that hurts. "Why? You don't think I am?" 

"Well, it's... it's just that I've never actually heard you referred to as... a diplomat. I think, um, antagonist was the word used..."

Little shit. "But I'm his _commanding officer_." Daniel still doesn't get what that means. "It comes with the territory." 

Carter clears her throat. "Wouldn't Daniel be better at it, I mean, being a linguist and a cultural expert? Sir." Ah, they're double-teaming him now, huh? Well, they're good kids and they care about Teal'c too... and Daniel is way better at this stuff...

"All right, we'll all do it. How's that?" He looks to Daniel. 

"That's fine." Daniel sniffs. 

"Co... co-counsels. Works for me." Carter smiles. 

They are so screwed. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

The trial does not go well. All the cards are stacked in Hanno's favor. Jack repeatedly turns to Daniel for definitions, aid, interpretation, but otherwise, he holds his own in the argument. 

Daniel's proud of him, up until Jack demands that the matriarch be the ruler over the Cor- ai instead of Hanno. Jack doesn't get the concept of Judge as Jury. 

"It's actually rather Talmudic... only he who is wronged can forgive," Daniel says. 

"Will you can it?" Jack lobs at him. Okay. From cranky to pissy. Daniel pinches the bridge of his nose and tries to think of a better way...

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

_When Teal'c and I were alone on Cartago, he said to me..._

_"Colonel O'Neill, have you ever faced the crying eyes of a child whose father you have just murdered?"_

_And I replied, "Not exactly. Teal'c, there are a lot things we do that we wish we could change and we sure as hell can't forget, but the whole concept of chain of command undermines the idea of free will. So as soldiers, we have to do some pretty awful stuff. But we're following orders, like we were trained to. It doesn't make it easier; it certainly doesn't make it right, but it does put some of the responsibility on the guy giving those orders."_

_Daniel, how many times have I given you the wrong order?_

_How many have you disobeyed, when it didn't feel right?_

_Strictly off the record... I'm damned glad you did._

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Jack hates having to put Daniel on the witness stand, especially knowing Daniel as well as he does, but Daniel is, of course, willing to do anything to help a friend. So he stands before a sea of strangers and asks Daniel to bare his soul. 

"Tell us what happened to your wife." 

"Her name is Sha're. She was captured by Apophis' serpent guards, and changed." So stoic, so... valiant, is the only word. 

Cut to the chase. "She's now a Goa'uld?" 

"Inhabited by one, yes," Daniel clarifies, never breaking eye contact. Jack hopes Daniel can draw strength from that. 

The crowd murmurs from the gallery. 

"And how did she get to be one of the victims?" Damn, he knows this hurts. 

"The leader of the serpent guards picked her out of a crowd of other women, at random, really." 

They were building up. Almost done. "Who was this serpent guard?" 

"Teal'c," Daniel says simply. "The _old_ Teal'c. At that time, he hadn't joined us yet. He didn't know me or that Sha're was my wife." 

Good, Daniel. Very well put. "But the fact is you now work side by side with the man responsible for your wife's fate?" 

"It was difficult for me at first, I wanted to hate him." Daniel's not as fragile as Jack once believed. He's navigating this so smoothly, and Jack is proud. "But now I know that it was a different Teal'c that chose Sha're and I know that if there were any way for him to help me get my wife back, _this_ Teal'c would do it gladly. Even if it meant giving up his own life. This Teal'c is my friend." 

God, it's beautiful. 

 

 

 

And of course, it doesn't work. 

 

 

 

They loiter around outside Teal'c's pen. 

"It's a kangaroo court," Jack complains. "Nothing's gonna make a difference. Isn't that painfully obvious to anybody? That kid made up his mind before we even got here." 

"So what do you suggest?" Daniel asks. 

He turns to get his gear. "Carter and I are going back to Earth for reinforcements." 

"What, you're going to shoot his way out?" Give him a break, Daniel. 

"No, Daniel. I'm hoping we can bring back enough firepower so it'll scare them into turning Teal'c over. That's how I'd like to see it go down." He's not a complete asshole. 

"I have already told you, O'Neill. I will not run." He looks at Teal'c. There are days when he could just kill his kids. Mondays, particularly. 

"Teal'c," he says, "you're going back with us if I have to knock you out and carry you myself. Got it?" He races up the stairs, Carter in tow, calling back to Daniel, "Buy as much time as you can, Daniel." 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Back at the trial, Daniel thinks a million fragmented thoughts while he tries to buy Jack and Sam time. 

"So, by killing that man, you actually saved the lives of the rest of the villagers. You even saved Hanno's life." Come on Teal'c, he knows this is true. 

"It is true." 

"But can you really be sure Apophis would have really killed the rest of the villagers?" Of course he could, but they need more time...

"I have seen him do it many times." Teal'c is handling all this with such grace. 

"So although you were faced with a terrible decision, you chose the lesser of two evils?" 

And Daniel wonders... if he were to choose Jack... for right now, rather than to choose to let his heart harden and shrivel up before he finds Sha're... would that be the greater, or lesser, of two evils? 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Jack is furious with Hammond. He can't believe what he's hearing. 

"Colonel, the United States is not in the business of interfering in other people's affairs." 

"Since when, sir?" 

"Since this administration was elected." Damn it, George. 

"Well, I don't think the president would have a problem with us going in and trying to rescue one of our own." After all, that's what Jack spent half his life doing in Special Ops. It was instinctual by now. 

"Teal'c is not one of our own," George says. Whoa. Back up. 

"He's not?" Carter asks. This is news to him, too. 

"I mean in the eyes of the government," George explains. "He's not an American citizen. Hell, he's not even an Earth citizen." 

Perhaps he should have taken Daniel back with him to base instead of Carter? It seems Teal'c's on trial everywhere today. "I don't believe I'm hearing this from you, sir." 

"General Hammond, sir, if I may." Carter steps up to the plate. "Even setting aside that Teal'c is our friend, how can you let such a valuable information resource be taken away?" 

Yes, good. Good thinking. He can't think, he's just seeing red. Carter will keep a cool head and work around this. 

"These people's laws in this regard are no different from our own." Hammond sighs. "We don't stop pursuing war criminals because they have a change of heart." 

" _War criminals!_ " Jack shouts. 

"Yes, Colonel, he is! Like it or not, what the Jaffa have done to these people and thousands of other people is a crime. Now Teal'c spent many years serving the Goa'uld doing some damned distasteful things. Surely both of you must realize that this was bound to happen sooner or later..."

"General Hammond, sir," he bites out, "I have spent a lot of years in the service of my country, and I have been ordered to do some _damned distasteful things_." He won't drop his gaze. George has read his file. He knows exactly what Jack is talking about. "I will not allow them to execute my friend." 

But Hammond shuts them down, and the phone call to the president proves fruitless. The best Jack gets is permission to return to the planet. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel put the journal down and remembered the conversation he'd had with Teal'c, during those final moments in that prison cell....

 

 

 

 

"I would like to volunteer my lifeless body, and that of my symbiote, for your scientists to study. Perhaps you can better learn ways to battle the Goa'uld and the Jaffa." 

"Well, don't worry, Teal'c," Daniel says, "there's not going to be any body to donate. Jack and Carter should be back any minute with the troops." 

"Daniel Jackson. You must not allow Colonel O'Neill to deny the retribution the Byrsa deserve." 

As though Daniel had any control over Jack at all...

"You know I have to admit, Teal'c, for once I agree with Jack. I mean, I respect your wishes, but I don't believe that you deserve to die." 

 

 

 

 

No matter what, not after the first time Teal'c took Sha're away, and not after the last time, Daniel never believed Teal'c should have to pay with his life. Which is more than he could say for himself. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Jack and Sam return to find the Goa'uld invading Cartago. They rush into the main building just as Teal'c leaps to stop a Jaffa from firing on a group of villagers. Jack watches the man get hit in the leg with staff blast. The Jaffa aims a staff at Teal'c and Jack snaps to action. 

"Hey!" He fires and kills the attacker. 

Daniel kneels to check Teal'c's wound. 

"Oh, looks bad. Let's get him home," Daniel says, and Jack nods. 

"No," Teal'c insists. Stubborn son of a bitch! 

Teal'c gives his staff to Hanno. "It is midday. I am prepared to accept my punishment." 

"Teal'c," he pleads. Don't do this. Not to one of the _team_.

Hanno blinks. "You would save those who wish to kill you?" 

"I would save those who deserve to live," Teal'c says. 

Jack, Daniel and Sam also falling into that category. God, he feels ill. 

"I have made a mistake," Hanno says. "My memory was faulty. You are not the same man as he who murdered my father." 

"I am the one." 

"No. That Jaffa is dead. You have killed him." 

Jack thinks that he is not the same deadened man who mourned a lost son. Daniel is no longer the nervous mouse that walked through the world with wide, child-like eyes. Carter is no longer a ball-crushing bitch playing with the big boys. They've all changed. They've all grown, cliché as it sounds. Not because of the gate. Because of each other. 

Hanno turns to Jack. "We have our own wounded to care for. I suggest you take your friend home." 

Teal'c takes his staff from Hanno, bows his head and steps away. 

Ah, Christ. They're not bad people... "We can help you defend yourselves." 

"We would appreciate that." 

Jack puts a hand on Teal'c's shoulder, so relieved to have him back that he spares him the good bitching-out he's going to get the minute they get through the gate. 

"Daniel. Dial us home. It's been a long day." 

Which, between the two of them, is code now for shower, bed, and Daniel- blanket...

 


	17. Aenigma

**17\. Aenigma**

 

 

 

With the blinds closed, the bedroom was almost pitch-black. There was no moon out that night. 

"Jack?" 

"Hm?" Jack said, his voice laced with fatigue. 

"Do you think this is odd?" Daniel titled his head. "Sleeping like this, I mean?" 

Jack grunted. "Sleep is generally what you do when you're tired, Daniel. Like I am. Right now. Tired..."

He bit his lip. "Jack?" 

"...Hm?" 

"You don't think it's odd, two grown men, cuddling... in bed... together like this?" 

Jack cracked open an eye. "Daniel? Everything with you is odd." 

"So you're okay with it?" he pressed. 

"No," Jack growled, pulling Daniel closer. "I hate it. I can barely stand you; you smell funny. All this time I've been fooling around, but now that you've mentioned it, you're right, get out." He rubbed his chin soothingly over Daniel's forehead. 

"I'm being serious." 

Jack sighed. "So..." Then quietly, "You want to go back to your place?" 

"Um... Do you want me to?" Daniel held his breath. 

Jack didn't speak for a long time, like he was trying to think of how to put his response. Which... heralded doom. "I don't care." 

"You don't care?" Daniel glanced up at the older man. "You mean you don't care if I go, or you don't care if I don't want to go?" 

"Daniel," Jack pleaded, "it's late. What do you want from me?" 

"Honesty." 

Long moments stretched out between them. "No." 

"No?" 

"No. I don't want you to go." Daniel breathed a sigh of relief and felt a similar one escape from Jack. "You're not the only one who has nightmares, you know." 

He lifted his head sharply, examining the older man. "Jack?" 

"I'm just saying... it's nice to have someone to hold on to. For a while. Not forever. Just for now." 

Of course, Jack had his own demons with which to contend. Daniel couldn't believe his selfishness. "I'm glad I can do something for you, Jack, return a favor, finally." He'd have to find more things he could do for Jack...

Jack rolled away and dragged Daniel's arm along with him. "Yeah. So long as no one at work finds out about it, it's great." 

Wait. What? He wouldn't broadcast it, exactly, but what did Jack want him to do? Lie? 

"What do you mean?" 

"Oh, Daniel," Jack growled. "It's been a long day, can we go to _sleep_?"

"What did you mean, as long as no one at the SGC knows about it?" 

"It's against regulations," Jack said tiredly. 

"That's ludicrous. It's your own private home. Besides, it's not like we're... doing... anything other than sleeping. Just like we do off-world. We sleep together in tents. Why not at your house, or mine?" 

Jack held Daniel's hand over his heart for a moment, pressing down. "Because that's not what it looks like, Daniel. I don't expect anyone else to understand. Hell, I don't even understand. It's an enigma." 

He had to ask. "That's what you think this is?" 

Jack threaded their fingers together. "It's you and me, Daniel. And that's enough." 

"You and me..."

"Now go to sleep, for crying out loud." Jack sounded so wiped out; he was adorable. Cranky. Blunt. Jack. Daniel scooted closer, and kept his hand there. 

 

 

 

 

The next morning Daniel stretched out on the bed, on his stomach, face pressed— smooshed—into the pillow, left leg dangling off the side. He would have been sleeping, as it was only eight o'clock, but Jack was on the floor doing sit-ups. Lots of sit-ups. Crunches that lifted his shoulders, ribs and thighs high up off the floor. 

Daniel had observed many strange rituals in his lifetime, but never this peculiar masochistic tendency regarding one's abdominals. It was strangely hypnotic, the way Jack would go up-down, up-down, exhaling silently, lips moving as he counted pilates reps. 

"Enjoying the view?" Jack panted. 

"Hm," Daniel hummed sleepily. "No. It's not a view I want to be having at..." glancing at the clock, "seven fifty-seven in the morning." 

"Ah..." Jack lowered his legs and worked on his obliques. "I was quiet. Let you... sleep in... long as I could... ah..." 

"Gee, thanks. My one source of comfort is knowing that what you're doing hurts you, almost as much as being woken at this hour – on a day we have off, no less— hurts _me_. Which begs the question, Jack, why are you hurting us this way?" 

Jack paused mid-crunch to fix him with a look. "Well, I've just got to look fabulous in my new dress for the spring dance. Or all the other girls will talk about my mid-rib bulge. What the hell do you think, Daniel? I'm an Air Force colonel." He went back to crunching. "Sometimes I think... you forget... that about me... Can't... be... good." 

Daniel rolled over and stretched again, sighing luxuriously. "You need to relax." 

"I need... to workout..."

"You're too uptight." 

"Humph," Jack said, doing bicycles. 

Daniel glanced over at Jack's legs circling madly in the air and decided to go with the devilish impulse to reach over, grab the man's right foot and tickle his high arch. Jack shot up, flipped over and then he was on his feet, lunging for Daniel, spinning around and pinning him to the floor. 

"Wah!" Daniel chortled as Jack held him down and retaliated. 

Eventually Jack stopped tickling him. "Never, never try that with a Special Ops officer, Daniel. You're lucky you're a civilian or I'da killed ya." Jack grinned down at him. 

"Let me up." 

"Or?" 

"Or I'll pee on you." Jack just grinned, damn the man. "I need to piss, and drink some coffee, and then maybe you'll get decent conversation out of me, Jack." 

"Who wants _decent_ conversation?" Jack eased up. "You know how much I love it when you talk dirty to me." 

"What? Like 'Accretion Disc'?" Daniel smirked and laced his fingers behind his head. 

"Oh, good one." 

"Super-imposed cultural cross-pollination?" 

"Nope, nope. Cold. That's anthro-babble and it turns me off." Jack sat on the bed and smiled down at Daniel. 

"I see. How about... aeronautical terms? Like, uh.... Ballistic... avian... torque? Ah... full throttle... thrust..."

"Full-throttle thrust?" Jack said, eyes twinkling maniacally. "Dr. Jackson, you're a minx in the morning." 

Daniel blushed slightly. "Can't hold me responsible for what I might say. You started doing sit-ups... in the bedroom... and didn't even bring me coffee!" he accused. 

Jack helped him off the floor. "Gotta do them in here, where there's a thicker carpet. My back is stiff enough as it is..." He circled his shoulders. Daniel noted this with some concern. Jack really did look a little tense lately. "Come on out into the land of the living, Danny boy; I'll make you your damned coffee." 

Lured by the warm smile and promise of caffeinated beverage, Daniel followed Jack to the kitchen. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Jack sat across from Daniel at the table and watched the younger man hover over his coffee as if it were the breath of life itself. Sleepy-Daniel was perhaps the most adorable of all the Daniels, because he was too tired to feel self-conscious and too ruffled to look anything other than... adorable. 

Better distract himself. He opened the paper and went right for the crossword. "So, Daniel. What do you want to do today?" 

"Go back to bed?" 

"Daniel," he warned. 

"Well, actually... I was thinking of going into town. There's a bookstore I want to check out..."

"You mean there's one you haven't pillaged yet?" 

"It just opened," Daniel defended. 

"I see. Well, I need to go in for some new tools, get that mower worked on. Maybe we can kill two birds with one stone." 

Daniel glanced at him sharply. "Thinly veiled," he said. 

"What?" 

"You just don't want me to drive when there's snow on the ground. I know you and your wiles, Jack." 

"Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. You're a _grown man_. Would I presume...?"

Daniel sighed. "Fine. You can drive. It's too early to argue. But since you're treating me like a kid, I insist that you drop me at the bookstore and then treat me to lunch." 

Filling in seven across with a smile, Jack said, "Maybe I can put you down for a nap afterwards..."

 

 

 

 

He stopped by Earl's to pick up the wrench and a valve that he really didn't need but had to buy, because otherwise he would have to admit to Daniel that he went into town with the sole purpose of keeping Daniel and his wussy Mazda off the roads, or worse, that he just wanted Daniel's company, so he stuffed the receipt in the bag and smiled goodbye to Earl. 

Two streets over lurked the little New Leaf Bookshop owned by—and here's where 'It's a Small World After All' got stuck in Jack's head—none other than Mrs. Welsh, who had decided that baking treats for the neighbors was not enough to bring about a satisfied retirement. Old ladies do not live by pineapple upside-down cake alone. 

Daniel sat on the floor, his legs folded under him, surrounded by piles of books. All different kinds of books—children's books, textbooks, the latest trashy novels, picture books, classic books that Jack hadn't seen since his college days. Not that he'd readily admit just how many books he had read in his college days... but he was quietly impressed. Many were in different languages. 

It was official. Daniel was a geek. 

His geek, though. 

He walked up to Daniel, who was oblivious, of course, and squatted down. "This aisle taken?" he said softly. 

"HmohI'msorryjustgoround." 

"I'm sorry. I forgot my Daniel-to-English dictionary today. Care to translate?" 

"Oh, Jack. Hi. Did you find everything you wanted?" Daniel smiled at him—the kind of smile Jack hadn't seen on his face in weeks, not since ... best not to think about it. 

"Yep. Found you. You ready for lunch?" 

"But we just got here." 

"Daniel, I've walked around town and been to Earl's and back. It's been almost two hours, buddy. Aren't you hungry?" 

Daniel had the good sense to look a little sheepish. "A little." 

"Come on. Let's go to the diner. We'll sit in a booth. I'll give you quarters and let you play with the jukebox." 

"Gee, thanks, Jack. Just let me... figure out... which ones..." Daniel looked around him, a little frown marring his brow. "I want to get..."

Jack stacked all the books, all of them, because he knew Daniel, knew Daniel better than he cared to admit in broad daylight. "Come on, I'm starving." 

Daniel lumped books and magazines under his arms and followed Jack to the register. Mrs. Welsh smiled brightly. "So many, Dr. Jackson?" 

"Daniel's trying to make himself blind. Wants a check from the government." Jack hoisted the heavy texts up on the counter. 

"I already get a check from the government, that's how come I can afford these." Daniel smiled brightly as well, digging into his battered wallet for the MasterCard. Jack shot him a look. 

Mrs. Welsh took the plastic readily. "You work with Jack at the Air Force, right? Doing what, if I may inquire?" 

Heading Daniel off, Jack said, "He's a civilian consultant. He doesn't do much more than sit around, actually." 

"Jack—" Daniel said. 

"A civilian consultant? For deep space radar telemetry?" Mrs. Welsh looked puzzled. 

"Ah, yes." Daniel nodded. 

"Daniel is a scientist," Jack said firmly, closing the matter off. "And he loves to read. It sure is lucky that you opened up this store, Mrs. Welsh. I was just saying to Daniel the other day that there aren't enough quality bookstores in Colorado Springs, and then you went and opened up the prettiest, most interesting bookstore yet!" Jack really turned on the charm, and watched Mrs. Welsh blossom under the praise. 

Daniel coughed. "I'm especially grateful that you're willing to ship, Mrs. Welsh." 

"Ship?" Jack said. 

"Yes," Mrs. Welsh confirmed, nodding. "Dr. Jackson here has ordered many things we don't have in yet and so I told him we'd just ship them to the house when they're in." 

"More?" Jack asked incredulously. "Wait, house? Didn't I get you shelves, Daniel? You use up all the space already and now you want to clutter my house?" 

Daniel blushed. He was so _adorable_ when he did that. Stop thinking those thoughts! 

"Um. No. Most are for you actually..."

"Me?" 

"Sign here please," Mrs. Welsh said. 

Daniel didn't even bat an eyelash at the sum. "Thanks. Jack, could you get those?" 

"What happened to shipping?" Jack complained. 

Mrs. Welsh smiled. "We only ship out of stock items, Jack. Sorry." 

"Right." Grimacing, he took two armfuls of books and followed Daniel out to the jeep. 

"So what did you get me? And you didn't have to..." In fact, if they were anything like the texts and magazines got for himself—Jack picturing _Archeology Monthly_ and _Linguists International_ and other obscure rags o' torture— then he wasn't sure he wanted Daniel thinking of him and being quite so generous. 

"Ah, I noticed all your _National Geographics_ were old. So I got you a year's subscription. I get dibs when you're done though... Jack?" 

Jack had stopped dead. Frozen to the street. Books about to tumble out of his arms. 

Daniel had gotten him...

"What, Jack? What is it? What's wrong?" 

"Oh. Nothing. Nothing. I just... Um, you didn't have to do that, Daniel. I can barely read as it is, you know," he covered lamely. "I'll appreciate the pretty pictures, but—"

"Would you stop doing that? It drives me nuts!" 

"What?" 

"What? Acting stupid! I know you're not. I know you read lots. I've seen your shelves. You can't profess to being barely literate and have as many classics as you do." 

"How do you know they weren't Sara's?" 

" _Native Son_ , _Iron Jim_ , _The Sun Also Rises_ , _Call of the Wild_... _Catcher in the Rye_... Jack, Kipling? You're saying Sara was into that stuff?" 

"Okay, okay. Yes. I read a lot." Jack smiled. "One of my minors was in Literature, back when I was young and naďve. I dropped it. Like you should." 

A weighty silence fell between them as they put the books in the car. Lunch was going to be ruined if Jack didn't say something, get things going again. 

"Listen, thanks for the magazines, Daniel. I mean it." 

"How come you got so freaked out?" Daniel asked softly. 

_What do you want from me? ...Honesty._

"The _National Geographics_ were Charlie's. For school papers and stuff. He'd cut things out of them, mark them up. I kept them... I... kept them all." 

"Oh," Daniel said softly. "I can cancel—" 

"No! No, I like them. 'Sides. First present from you. Can't return it!" Jack smiled and walked on the outside of the curb as they made their way to the diner. "You gonna get ice cream?" 

"I thought we discussed you pretending to be stupid." Daniel smiled, and that was that. 

 

 

 

 

The hamburgers and thick milkshakes were delicious and left them feeling sleepy. Jack drove them home, surprised when Daniel turned on the classical station and left it alone. 

"You've become an opera fan all of the sudden?" he ribbed Daniel. 

"Don't you like it?" 

"I love opera. Don't let it get around, though..."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Daniel closed his eyes. 

"You usually can't settle for any station for more than a song or two. What gives? Getting lazy?" He hoped Daniel was just tired and not sick. Colorado winters were nothing to laugh at when it came to colds...

"I just thought we might choose something you like. You're always doing stuff like that for me." He glimpsed over and saw Daniel smiling softly, eyes still closed, and his heart did a little flutter-flop. So Daniel noticed the little extra touches, did he? Yeah, Jack was always trying to do stuff like that for the people he cared about. Few even noticed. Very few ever tried to reciprocate. 

"Well, thanks," he said softly. "You know anything about opera?" 

"Not really. I know it's not over 'til the fat lady sings." 

Jack snickered. "Common misconception. It's not over until the fat lady's lover _dies_. We should go through my collection sometime. I'll teach ya about it... if ya want." 

Daniel beamed at him. "Cool." 

 

 

 

 

The rest of the ride was in silence and then Jack wrenched his back in the driveway carrying the tons of knowledge Daniel had insisted on purchasing just a few hours earlier. Daniel quickly took the books and led Jack inside—he was mortally embarrassed and feeling very over the hill, but it was an old injury and he could grit it out without too much moaning and groaning. 

"How bad is it? Can you sit down?" 

"Ah, yeah. Not sure I could get back up, though..." Ow. 

"Go lay down on the bed. On your stomach. I'll be right in." A few brazen images came to mind but Jack just let it go, he needed Tylenol, whiskey and to never lift another twenty pound tome of _Recipes from Ancient Rome_ again. Jackson's bibliomania was going to kill him. 

Spreading out on the bed, he called, "Can you bring me some aspirin? It's in the medicine cabinet..."

Daniel quickly came in, glass of water and the pill bottle in hand. "How many do you want?" 

"Two. Bottles." 

"Here, let's start with two pills and go from there _after_ you put me in the will." Daniel smirked and held the glass as he struggled to drink. 

"Ahhh... you just want me for my money, is that it?" 

"No. You don't make that much, Jack. I secretly covet Mama O'Neill's pottery wheel and the chia-pets you've got lining the windowsills." 

"Can't fault you for good taste," Jack said, startling when Daniel kneeled on the bed and straddled him. "Uh, Daniel?" 

"Hold still." 

Then there was bliss. Nirvana. Valhalla. He'd discovered the ultimate joy—a Daniel Jackson back massage. "Ohhhhhhhh...." He groaned as Daniel worked his muscles, very gently, then increased the pressure. 

Daniel knew what he was doing, starting with the neck and shoulders and moving on down, branching from the spine out to the sides, using his fingerpads and the heels of his palms. "Is this okay?" 

"It's _goooooooood_ ," he said, too far gone to be ashamed for being a total massage-slut. 

"That's good. Get's better. Hang on." Daniel pushed up his shirt and slid warm hands up and down his back, until Jack practically arched off the bed and purred. 

"Oh, Dr. Jackson. If I had known you were this good in bed, I never would have let you take that apartment..." He grinned into the pillow. 

Daniel's hands stilled for a moment, then resumed, a little chuckle bouncing over his shoulder and into Jack's ears. "Glad you're enjoying yourself." 

"Someday I'll return the favor. Not today though... oh yeah... right there... oh, God." Jack knew he shouldn't tease, but it was so easy. It was such a strange situation and yet felt perfectly natural. It was... Daniel. And if he kept this up much longer, he was going to get hard. Daniel was already starting to show interest. 

"You're tensing up again. Relax, Jack. Think... breezy beaches... little drinks with umbrellas.... Baywatch..."

Christ, it wasn't Pamela Anderson he was picturing in a swimsuit. "Hard, Daniel." 

"Harder? Okay. Let me know if it's too much." Misunderstanding, Daniel dug in, kneading his muscles like dough. It was _sin_ to feel this good. "That's it. Relax. Let yourself go, Jack. I'm here." 

Jack blinked and closed his eyes, letting the last of the tension—all of the tension—filter out of him. Daniel was warm, and near, and it felt right...

"I'm here, Jack, rest..." Daniel said, voice lifting him into sleep. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

The next day they go to a planet covered in lava and raining soft ash. They rescue the survivors—who call themselves Tollans—and offer them sanctuary. Jack hates their superior attitude, but he can see, based on the way Carter and Narim are interacting, that they aren't all bad people. 

Daniel's trying his best to be polite and courteous, because that's how Daniel is. But when the Tollans use their special walk-through-walls armbands, Jack is forced to crack down the hard way. 

"Our escape was a test," Omoc says. "You did exactly what I knew you would do. You used threat and force to solve your problem." 

"You didn't give us any other choice," Carter responds. 

"You could have come for us unarmed," Omoc suggests, like that was gonna happen. 

"Hey!" he shouts. "You haven't exactly behaved like someone I wanna trust. I'm not gonna put my team at risk." Didn't these aliens have any sense of loyalty? Honor? Team responsibility? 

"And I will not risk my people in your care." Omoc stands firm. 

Well, apparently they do. 

Daniel better fix this, say the magic words or plant the magic beans, whatever, or God help him, he's gonna punch somebody. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel sighs. He can sense Jack getting impatient. Especially with him. It's not like every group of aliens comes with an instruction manual. 

Teal'c turns to everyone in the briefing room. "This is knowledge far beyond that of the Goa'uld." 

"That's exactly what the president and Joint Chiefs want to hear." A smarmy suit wearing a ratty man saunters in, two other drones shuffling behind. The man salutes. Oh, Jack's not going to like this. "Colonel Maybourne, sir. NID." 

Hammond salutes. Daniel can just feel the love. 

"Intelligence?" Jack growls. "What happened to Kennedy?" 

"Promoted. I took his place." 

"Promoted? Talk about failing upwards." Oh, Jack... 

"Colonel O'Neill." Maybourne bristles. "I read about your conflict with Colonel Kennedy in his report. I assure you, such an attitude will not prevail with me, in either direction." 

"I sense that." Jack, Jack, Jack. So sexy when he's being a smartass. Daniel has to stop thinking like this. Has to...

"Would you mind telling me exactly why you're here, Colonel?" the general asks. 

 

 

Eventually the truth comes out.... 

Maybourne tosses down a dossier. "That's an order releasing the Tollans to our section. You're to be congratulated, General, the Stargate program is finally paying off. This was... quite a coup." Maybourne smiles. 

Oh, that rat bastard. He can't believe he's hearing this. Jack won't allow this! He's got to say something. "Excuse me? These are people we're talking about." 

"These people do have rights, you know?" Yes, you tell him, Jack! 

"Do they? Under what nation's jurisdiction?" 

God, it's like working for soulless lawyers. "How about basic human rights?" he presses. 

"I can't release them to you," General Hammond says. 

Maybourne's damn smile drops. "I beg your pardon?" 

Daniel watches Hammond straighten up and square off. "I don't believe the president meant to release these people until they have been through quarantine. We don't have any idea what kinds of diseases they might be carrying." 

Good save! Way to go George! 

"You're out of your league here, gentlemen," Maybourne warns with a glower. "You're playing in my ballpark now, and I have the full authority of the president." 

"So do I, Colonel." Hammond nods to the door. "Why don't you ask the airman outside to show you to our guest quarters?" 

"That's okay," Maybourne says. "I'll wait." 

"That wasn't an invitation. It was an order, Colonel." Daniel is so loving George right now. 

Maybourne and the two officers exit. Daniel shoots Jack a look. They bought some time, but it's far from over. 

 

 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=017Enigma-Daniel.jpg)   


 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Jack frowns as he listens to Maybourne's ingenious little plan to sequester the Tollans away in a nice high-security prison palace in the Rockies for the rest of time. Daniel gets really upset. 

"You know... the Pentagon, Intelligence... that I can understand, but the president? I voted for him!" Easy, Danny, easy, there. Like Jack's going to let anything go down this way. 

Teal'c's right on board with him. "General, we must ensure the Tollans escape," the Jaffa says. 

"I can't let you do that. We'd all be court-martialed." Good old George. 

"General," he says, "I'm about a hair away from not caring. However, Daniel..." Come on Daniel, pick up the scent, follow the trail. 

Bingo! His eyes light up. "I can't be court-martialed, sir." Daniel smiles. 

They should interview for the Psychic Friends Network...

 

 

 

 

In the end, a little help from Daniel and a call in to the Nox, and the Tollans have found themselves a nice new haven until they can get home. 

Jack watches through the control room window as Lya walks through the gate, blithe and graceful as ever. "Your race has learned nothing," she chides. "But _you_ have." He sees Daniel duck his head under the burden of a compliment. "The Tollans are most welcome to join the Nox. Please come," she invites the refugees. 

Omoc steps onto the ramp and up to Daniel. "Narim was right about you. Perhaps in time we'll meet again." Which, he supposes, is as close to a thank you as the Tollans will give. 

Narim, with Carter's damned cat Schrödinger in his arms, turns to look at his second in command. 

Just when they're about to the make with the warm and fuzzy, Maybourne bursts in. Jack really has to find a way to relieve that man of the privilege of his tongue... 

"Stop! Take one more step and I'll be forced to have them open fire." 

Lya shakes her head, closes her eyes and raises her arms. The Stargate opens. Neat trick, Jack thinks. 

"Come," the nice Nox lady says, and all the Tollans vanish from sight. 

"Fire! Fire!" Maybourne commands. 

The weapons held by the S.F.s disappear. Lya backs into the Stargate and disappears through the gate. 

"God, I love those people," he says. 

He leads Carter and Hammond into the gate room, and strides up to meet Daniel and Teal'c. 

"You did good, Daniel," he says proudly. 

Is Daniel blushing? 

"What of Maybourne?" Teal'c inquires. 

"Oohh, he's not a happy camper," Carter says. 

Jack can live with that. In fact, that just about makes everything in Jack's world quite all right. 

George grimaces. "There'll be hell to pay when he gets back to Washington." 

When isn't there hell to pay? 

Daniel's not listening. He's staring at the Stargate, looking all pensive. "What?" 

"Oh, just thinking what the little guy with funny hair once told us." 

"The very young do not always do as they're told." 

Daniel turns to Jack and smiles. "Yeah." 

His team stands together, looking for a moment at the gate—at their future—and Jack smiles softly. Yeah...

 

 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=017Enigma-Jack.jpg)   


 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

_That was a big risk you took that day, Daniel. You were always a bit of a rebel, I'll grant you, but to put your job on the line like that... That's just you, though. Always doing what you believe is right._

_I'd like to say that I've always only done what I believe is right, but the truth is, I've just always done what I believed had to be done. Hardly the same thing, now is it?_

_How the hell did I land a guy like you, Daniel?_

_If I get out of this jam, will you tell me? So I can do it again... Start over._

_I'd like to just... start over. Can we start again please?_

_Daniel... I'm tired..._

 

 

 

nbsp;

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

The handwriting trailed off at that entry. Jack must have been exhausted by then. There really wasn't all that much time between when the Ancient's language got downloaded into Jack's brain and when he got... when he went into stasis. 

Help would come. The Asgard brought Thor out of stasis. The Nox could bring people back from the dead... Maybe a sarcophagus... no. But. They were discovering new technologies all the time. He'd get Jack back. 

And then he'd show Jack how they'd start again. 

~*~ 

 


	18. Solitudo

**18\. Solitudo**

 

 

 

 

Hammond grows concerned when they receive an early SG-1 iris code from P4A-771. The technician calls out, "Sir, the gate is showing twice the power as normal! And it's increasing!" 

Suddenly Dr. Jackson and Teal'c hurtle through the event horizon, smashing onto the ramp and rolling. The gate disengages. 

"Where are Colonel O'Neill and Captain Carter?" he asks Teal'c with a sense of foreboding. 

Teal'c looks around, dazed. "They could not have been more than two meters behind. I do not know." 

Hammond helps him up. "How many hostiles were there? 

"They were some distance away. But we appeared to be surrounded. We were there only moments." Teal'c blinks rapidly. "Colonel O'Neill ordered us to lay down cover fire while Daniel Jackson dialed home.... General Hammond, I believe they should have made it through the gate. I do not understand why they did not..."

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Jack wakes up to find himself in an ice cave with his second in command and a nice jolt of agony throbbing in his leg. Carter says she thinks it's broken. 

 "No, my leg's _definitely_ broken. This is bad news, 'cause unless they've redecorated the gate room, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." 

"Daniel must have misdialed," she says. 

Unlikely. Daniel could be a bit of a flake, but he didn't make stupid mistakes like that. Then again, they were taking fire... "Misdialed? You mean this place is a wrong number? Ah, for crying out loud. Where is he?" 

"He's not here, sir. Neither is Teal'c." Okay. That had him instantly worried. That kind of stuff just did not happen. 

"No, he has to be." He flicks on his radio. 

"Yeah, I tried that. You've been unconscious for nearly two hours." 

Shit. Two hours. Two hours when Daniel's been missing. And Teal'c... "They came through the gate before we did." 

"I know that," Carter says, "but I also know that we're alone here... wherever here is." 

"Ice." Fuck. "Nice." 

"Yeah. I think we're inside a deep crevasse of a glacier. If their Stargate's been overrun by ice, possibly we're on a planet in the middle of an ice age. Now, there is some light filtering through up there, and there are some fissures in the ice, but all of them are too narrow to follow very far." She takes a deep breath. "We're in trouble, sir." 

Crap. Time to pull the fearless leader bit. "Oh, nonsense. We'll just dial home and straighten all this out." He shifts—it hurts like a bitch—and looks around. "Where's the DHD?" 

"Can't find that either." 

Oh sweet fuck. Daniel... "Oh. So, uh... we're in trouble?" 

"We're in trouble." 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Have to keep him talking. He stops talking, he'll go to sleep, maybe go into shock. This is very difficult, must keep him talking. 

Sam does her best to hold it together. It's cold, and dark, and the entire situation is looking worse by the minute. But her commanding officer is injured and it's going to be up to her to figure a way to keep them alive and get them home. This is the kind of stuff she trained for, so she puts her professional mask on and gets in the game. 

Colonel O'Neill needs this splint. She gathers the materials and works fast. He grimaces and whines in pain. 

"I'm sorry, Colonel. I'm doing the best I can," she says, then bites her lip. He doesn't need her appeals at the moment. 

"I know you are, Captain," he grits out, "can you just be _done_?"

Okay. Almost. Keep him talking. "So you hit the ground, and...?"

"And they all lived happily ever after!" He's turning white. It must be horrible. 

"Almost there, almost there." 

"No, you're there, Captain," he insists. "You're there. That's a great splint. Stop! Stop! Ah..." 

Okay. She did her best. The colonel probably can't take much more, and honestly, neither can she. "So, how long before you were rescued?" 

He pauses, then says quietly, "No rescue." This shocks her. Colonel O'Neill is always talking about never leaving anyone behind. "It wasn't exactly... an 'official' mission, if you know what I mean, so I had to make it back on my own." Wow. So, he wasn't just in Special Ops. He used to do... no, it's not her place to judge. "It took nine days." 

Nine days! With a skull fracture and God knows what else? "Wow. What got you through it?" 

"Sara," he says simply. 

She's startled and doesn't know why. Never figured the man for a romantic. "Your wife?" 

"At the time. I needed to see her again..." He trails off, then snaps back to the present. "You tallied our supplies yet?" 

She goes through the list of all the things they have. 

"That's great," the colonel says. "By the way, Captain, we _are_ going to get out of here. That's an order." 

He's a good officer. This isn't his first dance. He's doing the fearless leader gig, and she respects that. But Sam never did like lies. "How's the splint feel?" she redirects. 

"Captain," he insists, "you have to believe me." 

"I want to, sir. I just don't see how." 

"Then we'd better start looking for a way. Because I'll be damned if I'm going to die on some God-forsaken block of ice a million light years away from home. Is that clear?" Intense. Fearful. 

He looks so determined. But he doesn't have a wife to go home to now. So who is he holding on to so tightly, that he needs to believe against all odds that they'll get through this? 

Her scientific mind knows the odds. But in her heart, she knows Colonel O'Neill. 

She nods. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Teal'c watches Daniel Jackson's eyes flutter open. He looks like a lost child for a moment, and Teal'c thinks of his son... 

 

 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=018Solitudes-Daniel.jpg)   


 

 

"Teal'c?" Daniel Jackson calls weakly. He can see the confusion in those blue eyes. 

"The Stargate has malfunctioned," he says somberly. "We came through the gate at too great a velocity." He feels guilty that Daniel Jackson had been injured, though he knows he is not to blame. He feels as if he has somehow failed O'Neill. 

"Jack and Sam?" Daniel Jackson immediately asks. 

It is most difficult. "They did not follow." He feels like he has also somehow failed Daniel Jackson, that O'Neill is not the one to wake him up, and tell him that Teal'c and Captain Carter are missing. 

"Yes they did," the young man insists. "I know they did. They were right behind us. That doesn't make any sense." Denial, panic, and frustration ghost over the man's face. Teal'c feels the same. 

"I concur. In a few hours, a probe will be sent back in an attempt to determine their fate." 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Carter chips away at ice. He does what he can to help, but suddenly the pain is sharp and swift and he has to clasp his chest. 

"What's wrong with your chest?" she demands. 

He winces. "I think I cracked a rib too." 

"Why didn't you say something?" 

Why do women always ask questions like that? 

"I was afraid you'd try to put a splint on it," he jokes. "I'll be fine." And he will. He's always fine. He's the colonel. It's his job. He gets out a knife and helps chip away. 

She sniffs. "I've been thinking about where Daniel and Teal'c might be." 

"Yeah?" He has too. He hasn't stopped thinking about it since he gained consciousness. They better be all right, because he is going to kick their ass if they aren't. 

"So far, I count three possible explanations. One, Daniel misdialed and they're here, but somewhere we haven't found." 

No. Not here. Not in this icebox, please God. "I don't see them." 

"Right," she says, like she's happy they're not stranded here too. "Two, Daniel didn't misdial, but for some reason the Stargate malfunctioned during transit. Don't ask me how, I haven't figured that part out yet." Like he would understand half the crap she babbled anyway. Okay, he _would_ understand half the crap, but he was too tired to get into it now, and besides, he had an image to maintain. "Anyway, they got sent back to Earth, but for some reason we got sent here." 

Yeah. That one he clung to with both hands. "What's three?" 

"Three. The Stargate malfunctioned. We got sent to this planet; Daniel and Teal'c got sent to another one." 

Well that sucks. "What's four?" 

She looks puzzled. "There is no four." 

"It's after three." 

She huffs a little. "Not this time, Colonel." 

He's not giving up. He doesn't know how to do that. "All right. We'll assume they made it back to Earth. They'll start sending search parties." 

She looks at him like he's wacko. "To where?" 

"Here, I hope." God, shut up already, Carter. It hurts. 

"Where would they begin? They have no idea where we are. With all the possible Stargates, a random search could easily take ten years!" 

Goddamn it, Carter! He does _not_ need her to freak out on him. "Not if they look here _first_ ," he insists. Take the hint, all aboard the Positive-Thinking Express. 

"Even if all the SG teams started searching right now, the mathematical probability of them even—"

Jesus. Christ. "Captain!" 

"...I think too much." 

Why couldn't he have been trapped with Daniel? 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel looks at the monitor displaying feedback from the probe. "No sign of Jack and Sam, but no evidence they got into a firefight, either." That's hopeful. 

The probe gets blasted to smithereens and they lose telemetry. 

"What are you waiting for?" the general barks. "Close the iris! Disengage the Stargate!" He grabs the microphone. "SG-3, stand down. The rescue mission is scrubbed!" 

What? No! Jack and Sam might be trapped there! What ever happened to never leave a man behind? "General!" 

Hammond fixes him with a look and explains the matter with an abrupt apology. Daniel gets the message loud and clear. He's all on his own. If he wants Jack back, he'll have to think of something brilliant and pull it out of his ass at the last second. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Teal'c watches Daniel Jackson stare at the glass map of Stargate addresses. The younger man shouldn't be out of bed, but he stubbornly insists on finding a way to rescue O'Neill and Captain Carter. 

"Okay," he murmurs. "So, if they are not there, and they are not here..." Daniel Jackson taps the glass. 

He regrets having to say this, but, "It is possible they might have perished in the wormhole." 

Daniel Jackson stiffens. It is obvious to Teal'c. Why does O'Neill not see how much Daniel Jackson is in love with him? 

"Yeah. In which case they're gone. I know. I thought of that." The young man sounds like a reed in the wind. "But if they are alive, if there's the least remote possibility that this malfunction sent them to another Stargate..."

Again, he must speak. "Was it not Captain Carter who deduced the possible combinations of Stargate symbols numbered in the millions?" 

"Well," Daniel Jackson says shortly, "we'll have to narrow it down!" 

General Hammond now attempts to reason with the young man. "Assuming you're right, why haven't they used that Stargate to come back on their own?" 

"Teal'c and I were flung out of the gate at this end so fast, I don't even remember hitting the ramp. Now, they could be badly hurt, in which case we will not have to search far from the other Stargates themselves. I think we owe it to them to try." 

Daniel Jackson looks so hopeful. General Hammond wants to believe him. 

Teal'c also desires this. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Two days and nights have passed. Daniel has not slept or eaten anything other than coffee. His limbs shake at unexpected intervals, and his vision gets scummy every once in a while. There's not a chance in hell of sleep though, not without Jack, not with Jack out there somewhere in the cold vast of space, possibly hurt, and depending on his help to get home. 

No, Daniel wouldn't sleep. And he couldn't face food. At this point, all he could do was stare at the star map and clutter it up with post-it notes. 

"Dr. Jackson?" General Hammond interrupts. Time for another update? 

"We just received probe telemetry from P5C-11 and 12. Neither of them have a breathable atmosphere any more. If they ever did..." Don't think about it... 

"I have formally reported Colonel O'Neill and Captain Carter as missing in action." 

He whirls around and bites his cheek to keep from cursing. "Why?" 

"Missing in action does not mean we stop looking, son." Hammond leaves and he turns back to the map. 

Jack. Jack...

"Missing. I'm _missing_ something..."

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Jack wakes up with a pressure on his chest so intense he's seeing spots. Carter's draped on top of him, no doubt to keep him warm—at first he thought it was Daniel, but even in sleep and suffering from light-headedness, he could tell that was just wishful thinking. 

"Captain," he whispers. "Much as I might otherwise think this is nice..."

"Shh, try to sleep," she says. 

"Is that what we're doing?" Why does this feel wrong? A million times more wrong than sleeping in the same bed as Daniel for months and months? 

"You were exhausted. You passed out. I just thought we had to combine body heat or we wouldn't make it through the night," she explains. 

That's logical. Good old Carter. Get off, get off. "That's fine... It's just really hard to sleep... with broken ribs... when someone's lying on you." 

"Sorry, sorry." She moves. "Sorry." 

"That's better," he reassures. 

"Sleep for a few hours and I'll fix the DHD." 

Yeah. Sure. Found that. Just got to make it work. "Okay. 'Night." He wants Daniel so bad, it stings. 

"Night... Oh... Colonel...?" 

Oh no, she's not going to say anything gushy or fatalistic, is she? He really can't handle it right now. "It's my sidearm, I swear," he jokes. 

She giggles. He's never heard her giggle. "No giggling. Please..." Ow. Ow! 

"If we don't make it," she says quietly, "I won't have any regrets. You?" 

Daniel. "I'll regret... dying..." without telling Daniel. 

Sam sleeps. He lies there and thinks about Daniel. He thinks long and hard. Dying is a great time to be honest with himself. A great time to filter through all the bullshit, take stock of his life. 

The fact of the matter was, Daniel Jackson was his best friend, a member of his team, under his command, and married. But all of those facts were bullshit. Because beneath them, Daniel and he had an attraction that didn't just circumvent the odds, it cut straight through them. 

Daniel had given him hope where once his only wish was to die. Daniel had wormed his way in, sneaked under the skin, and took root right inside him. Pick your cliché, Jackson was well and truly a part of Jack now. 

And honestly, what difference did it make if Daniel was a man or a woman, married or single, younger or older? It wasn't his body that made Jack light up inside. 

Although, if he was being honest, Daniel's body was nothing to shake a stick at. He was gorgeous, and he didn't even know it. It would never, ever, occur to Daniel that he was hot. That Jack had to get up first every morning to hide his erection, to keep from pouncing on the younger man. In the dark, in the quiet, when the rest of the world blinked out, holding Daniel, _wanting_ Daniel, felt so right. 

Now, as he lay on a slab of ice, half-starving, so dizzy he couldn't lift his head, blood filling his lungs slowly, he realizes that... needing... Daniel, felt right, any time of day, on any world, in any life. 

Jack makes peace with that notion, and then he passes out. 

 

 

 

 

When he comes to, Carter is crying. Not womanly-we're-going-to-die-freak-out tears, but the kind of tears you shed when you're just so exhausted you don't even realize it. "I have been working on the control panel for the last twelve hours. It just... I don't know _why_ it won't work. It should _work_! I'm missing something..." 

Okay. They've done everything they could now. He's tired, and it's time to bite the bullet. "Captain," he says quietly. 

"Sir?" 

"It's time to go to plan B." 

"What would plan B be?" She's not going to like this, but he's still the commander here, so she'll just have to suck it up. 

"You take the rest of the supplies... and ... climb out of here. Take your chances up on the planet... head towards daylight." He coughs. Fuck, he's so weak. So weak...

"If I can't get that Stargate to work, we'll _both_ go." 

"Right," he says sarcastically. "I'll race you." She can't handle the thought of leaving him behind. He knows the feeling. Right. Not yet. "All right, Captain. Make it work." 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Hammond calls off all the missions to search other planets. Daniel is furious. He refuses to leave, won't even look at Teal'c when the big man brings him food, and he's done speaking to George. 

He's still staring at the star map—has not left it that day except to go to the bathroom, not even once—when all of a sudden the glass rattles. He walks over and looks at the Stargate. Jack... He knows that shake. 

Jack's not on another planet. 

Jack's just at another Stargate. On Earth! 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Hammond is so relieved when the helicopters pinpoint the crevasse where Colonel O'Neill and Captain Carter are located. 

Teal'c and Dr. Jackson rush in behind the rescue teams. He watches the young man inspect Jack tenderly, then walk over to Sam. 

"Sam? Sam! Come on!" 

Captain Carter opens her eyes. 

"It's gonna be okay, Sam." Daniel smiles. "You're gonna be okay." 

"As is Colonel O'Neill," Teal'c says needlessly. Daniel made sure of it first. 

George smiles. "Let's get them to the chopper." 

"Colonel...." Sam struggles. "He's bleeding internally." 

"We know, Captain," he tells her. "Don't worry. He's going to be all right." He looks at Daniel when he says this, because Daniel looks like he's ready to pop out of his skin. 

"General," she whispers, "you came through the Stargate for us..."

He has to smile at her wonder. "Not exactly, Captain." He directs one of the rescue workers. "A team from the SGC will be coming within the hour to secure this area. In the meantime, let's get these people home." 

Daniel hovers by Jack's makeshift gurney, and Hammond watches them go. He turns to look at the second Stargate and thinks, when he sees them in 1969, will Jack and Daniel understand by then, or will it still elude them? Looking at the way Daniel insists Jack be handled carefully, he thinks—it won't be long now. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

In the weeks that followed during his recovery, Daniel did not leave his side. It was... annoying, in a way. Was Jack's 'mother hen' routine half as bad as this? Want another pillow, Jack? Did you eat enough, Jack? Don't want to be late for physical therapy, do we, Jack? Let me lift that. I'll drive us. You shouldn't stress yourself. 

God, he was going to kill Jackson. He made a mental note to ease up on treating Daniel like a kid in the future, figuring this disturbing role reversal was only temporary karma. 

Then again, it was almost like Daniel _needed_ to be around Jack, needed to see that he was going to okay, that he was sticking around, that Daniel wasn't going to be left alone. 

He made another mental note to have a 'talk' with Daniel, about some of the things he'd thought over while in the ice cave. He had to know, did Daniel feel the same? Or was Daniel just turning to his friend for comfort until he found Sha're? 

Jack didn't really have a problem with either scenario—he'd let Daniel have the reins here, let Daniel decide how far this would go, if at all—but he wished he had a better notion of what was going on inside the scholar's head sometimes. 

He'd never willingly been with a man. Never wanted another man. He'd never been more certain of anything, though, than he was now, that Daniel was what he wanted. Wanted _bad_.

Sitting on the couch, leafing through his _National Geographic_ he looked over at Daniel, wearing Jack's pajamas because he forgot his own, crouched on the floor, poring over the latest translation. "Daniel?" he said softly, carefully. 

"Hm?" 

"I..." How to say this? "I want to go to bed." 

Daniel looked up at him with concern. "Oh, I'm sorry. Are you tired? Come on, I'll help you." 

Jack let Daniel become his crutch as they walked to the bedroom. The younger man was eating again—Teal'c had told him how Daniel refused to move or eat until he and Carter were found—and Jack could feel the strength and solidity of Daniel's muscles as they walked. 

"You need to go to the bathroom? Need help with the brace?" Daniel asked. He shook his head, so Daniel eased him onto the bed. 

He grasped Daniel's hand in his, pulled Daniel down to sit beside him. "I'm sorry." 

"What did you do now?" Daniel said with amusement. 

"You were worried. Afraid I wouldn't come back." He looked at Daniel and noted the way those blue eyes turned hard, then soft again. Mesmerizing. 

"Don't do that again." 

Jack smiled. "I'll do my best not to let the gate malfunction next time I go through." 

Daniel fiddled with the sheet, but Jack took his hand up again. "Thank you... for not giving up on me, Daniel. On Carter and me." 

The younger man cocked his head. "You would have done the same for me, Jack." Like this was obvious, a given, why are they discussing it? 

Time to lay it on the line. "This may just be the happy pills Janet gave me, Daniel, but I have to tell you... I wouldn't have wanted to come home... before I met you..." he trailed off, his eyelids getting heavy. "Stay a bit?" 

Daniel snuggled in behind him and pulled all the covers up to combat the imaginary chill. 

 

 

 

 

**Weeks later**  
Jack was on his own personal Cor-ai. Oh yes, he was. He'd committed some hideous sin in his past life—or take your pick of the sins of this life—and now he was being tempted to the brink of sanity. Because the day after he got his cast off and was finally able to get a comfortable night's sleep, he woke up to find.... Daniel... all over him. 

Daniel Jackson's boxer-clad body was pressed up against his back, a burgeoning hard-on pushing against his ass, and the good doctor was nuzzling his neck and _licking_ his earlobe. 

And he wasn't even awake—Jack knew by the even breath and the heavy, slow movements Daniel made. Oh, God. 

Daniel was a big boy. 

A very big, very excited boy. 

He should be freaking out in T minus... now. Yet he wasn't. He wasn't concerned about the fact that a hard dick was, at this very moment, sensually poking against his buttocks. No. What worried him was that when Daniel woke up he was going to be horrified. They still hadn't had that talk. 

"J-Jack...?"

"Good morning, star-shine," Jack said dryly into his pillow. "The Earth says hello. I don't have to ask if you're happy to see me." 

"I... I'm so sorry." Daniel started to disengage and Jack's arm shot out behind him, hooked around Daniel's waist and dragged him back in. 

"Who said you could move? It's cold and you're keeping my back warm." _That_ he said in the huskiest whisper he could work up, first thing in the morning. 

Silence. Stillness. 

And then Daniel did the unexpected. 

He started kissing the back of Jack's neck... softly. Little nips. It was so damned sexy. 

Jack tightened his arm and hummed encouragement. He really wanted to turn around and get the party started, but he knew Daniel had some big, big issues with a capitol 'I' to work out, so he had to let the younger man set the pace. 

They shouldn't even be doing this, but the way Daniel slid his hand down Jack's chest and wrapped those long fingers around the jut of Jack's hip... no way was he going to stop the man now. 

"I missed you so much, when you were gone..." Daniel said in a breathy whisper. 

Jack tilted his head and let Daniel have at his neck—Daniel sucked, then kissed, pressing closer, his hips thrusting minutely—barely noticeable—all the while squeezing Jack's hip. He turned his head further and then Daniel's tongue snaked in his ear, hot, moist, oh God... Daniel was flicking his tongue across the shell of Jack's ear in a way that made him so hard and so ready he had to moan. 

"Mmm..." Slowly, oh so carefully, Jack shifted, but he didn't turn all the way around, because the second he moved, Daniel froze. If he could just get his hands on Daniel... but no, he wasn't out to push Daniel in either direction. Daniel had to make the choice. 

"Can I touch you?" he said to the darkness. 

Daniel moved back slightly and Jack turned to face him. He stroked his forefinger down Daniel's cheek. "Can I, Daniel?" 

"Okay," Daniel said with a shaky breath. 

Jack allowed himself the agonizing pleasure of going slow. He ghosted a thumb over Daniel's lips, smearing a bit of moisture there, then trailed fingertips down Daniel's throat, over his drumming heart, down his chest, to his flat abdomen, finally squeezing his thigh. Daniel was gorgeous, all sleepy and steamy. 

He leaned in and kissed Daniel. Not a chaste kiss in the least. He tilted Daniel's chin and slanted his mouth sideways, pressing into the pillow, and delved in deep. "Mmm." 

Daniel responded with a moan of his own and then the hand was back, sliding up Jack's arm, over the sculpt of his shoulder, pressing on his back, pulling him closer. They couldn't get close enough. 

"I missed you, too," he said. He didn't like saying sappy things, but it was the truth. And that's all Daniel ever asked for—the truth. 

They traded languid, exploratory kisses. Jack was surprised at how assertive Daniel proved. He didn't always wait for Jack to lead; in fact, he often let his own hunger show. He nipped at Jack's lips, took great sweeps with his tongue, and that's all they did for several endless moments—they tasted each other. They breathed each other. It was fabulous. 

But Daniel's hips were still moving, still rocking, and soon Jack had to rock too, had to grind slightly into Daniel. The younger man gasped at the feel of Jack's prick sliding against his own, and Jack worried that it was too much...

Then Daniel slid his leg between Jack's knees and stroked up, up, resting lightly just under Jack's balls, so that he was surrounded by Daniel's heat and hard flesh. It drove him wild. 

"God, Daniel," he groaned around their kiss. He bucked forward deliberately, delighted when Daniel groaned as well and hooked his outer leg over Jack's hip. 

"Is this okay?" Jack asked carefully, not wanting to stop, but hyper-aware that they were hurtling towards the point of no return. 

"It's good," Daniel whispered, gripping Jack's hips and pulling him forward. 

They rolled their hips together, slowly at first but Jack knew it wouldn't last much longer, each circle building in intensity, in need. He wanted this. Wanted it bad. Had wanted it for so long he couldn't even remember since when... He pushed harder, thrusting, squeezing Daniel's ass forward in order to increase the pressure... oh, God... oh, God, yeah...

"Hmm!" Daniel said, sucking on his throat, the first hint of nails down Jack's back. He snapped, rolling over on top of Daniel, settling into the cradle of hips and swiveling his pelvis in clockwise movements. Daniel eagerly responded, hooking his legs around the back of Jack's knees, setting up a counter motion, all the while sucking greedily on Jack's tongue. 

He rolled them again, letting Daniel sprawl on top, letting Daniel take control. For a moment Daniel seemed lost, then he got with the program and switched gears, sliding his body up and down Jack's, dragging their swollen pricks across one another, aching, straining, humping Jack, not holding back. He moved like he was fucking into Jack, and Jack's cock twitched and leaked at the thought. 

He was gonna come. Right here, like this, in his boxers. Oh, God... So good. Heat and pressure, Daniel, spice and sweat and want... so much want...wanting him... Jack needed to make it all right... needed to fix him... oh, God, mercy... grant him strength, hold on, make it last...

Cupping Daniel's firm ass and holding him steady, Jack rolled them back, poured over Daniel like summer rain on a forest long dry. Snaking his hand behind Daniel's neck, Jack lifted him up for a bruising, claiming kiss. He jabbed at the younger man, shaking the bed as he thrust rapidly. 

Daniel cried out and dug into his shoulder blades, then Jack felt the hot liquid stain between them, smelled Daniel's come and sweat as he ate the man's shattered whine, and then Jack was coming—jets of it shooting out after months of holding himself so rigid, soaking the material of his shorts, coating his prick in wet warmth. 

He collapsed on Daniel, breathing hard. His slate had been wiped clean. 

Daniel panted—and panted. Near to hyperventilating. Ah, shit. "Daniel? Daniel? You okay? Daniel?" 

Jack grabbed his chin and looked into Daniel's drugged eyes. "I didn't know it would be like this, Jack..." Daniel sounded so forlorn; he actually _trembled_. Shocked, distressed, like he had just been told a devastating secret that he could never reveal. 

Jack wasn't sure what he'd meant. Surely Daniel had had sex before, and surely Daniel had had good sex. All they'd done was make-out and dry hump... but deep down, Jack sure as hell knew what Daniel was talking about. All they'd done was kiss and rub off, and it was the most exhilarating sex of his life. No idea why. None. But he'd never wanted sex more than he did that morning with Daniel. Never wanted anything more than he wanted _Daniel_ , period. 

"It gets better," Jack promised, kissing him. Salt. Tears. He tasted tears. "Daniel? You hurt?" 

Daniel... hiccupped... a bit. Jack finally realized it was laughter, bordering on hysteria. "I can't do this again, Jack." 

He pulled back, worried. What the fuck did he _do_?

"I love her," was all Daniel said. 

He flinched, couldn't hide it in time for Daniel not to see. "I... I know. I get that, Daniel." 

Rolling off Daniel and getting up, he yanked off his boxers and threw them in the trashcan, because he just didn't want to deal with any of it anymore. He felt so old. "Let me ask you this," he said over his shoulder, standing naked in the doorway, bathed in morning light. "Would taking comfort from each other make you love her any less?" 

Heading for the shower, he left Daniel to his thoughts. When he came back to dress for the mountain, Daniel was already gone. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

_Daniel, I wanted you so much. I was so afraid I had lost you. Afraid you'd never come back to me. But even then, I didn't regret what we did._

_I just regret... never having told you first. _

_I should tell you now..._

 

 

~*~

 


	19. Homo Stanneus

**19\. Homo Stanneus**

 

 

 

 

The next two days were hell. Daniel didn't really sleep and food didn't really appeal to him. Jack kept following him around on base, giving him these wary looks that made him feel like he'd just sky-written what they'd done in big bold letters over the mountain. 

He took solace in Sam as she babbled on and on about her new computer program, and he would sit with Teal'c sometimes while the man did Kel-No-Reem, but for the most part he stared at his work and pictured Jack. 

Jack kissing him, slow and sweet. Jack rolling over on him, pinning him with his weight, grinding down... The hot, hard shaft that rubbed against his own, made him want to scream, want to just let go and have the most intense, honest sex of his life. Jack... calling out his name, gripping the pillows, thrusting as carefully as possible in the heat of the moment. Jack's come...

He blushed hotly, looking around his empty lab. Thank God no one was here to see him like this. He was... wanton. It had been so long since he and Sha're... and years before that, with Sarah. None of his other lovers could hold a candle to... Jack. 

"Daniel?" Jack knocked on his open office door. "Mind if I come in for a chat?" 

"Uh, now's not a really good time, Jack," he said, working hard to keep his voice even. "I have a lot to do before we ship out." 

"Oh," Jack said with sincere disappointment. He felt like such a shit for just walking out on Jack like that, because he _knew_ Jack would feel like he'd somehow forced Daniel, when it was really _Daniel_ that had reached out, had seduced Jack this time. Damn. 

p class="MsoNormal" style="">He  
gave a half-hearted smile. "Maybe we can chat after?"

"Yeah, okay. After..." He watched Jack walk away, shoulders slumped over. 

Closing his eyes for a moment, he shifted, looked back at his work—which was upside- down; he wondered if Jack noticed?—and continued to think about Jack. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

SG-1 steps through the Stargate and discovered a dark, empty building that resembled a factory of sorts. 

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your colonel speaking," Jack says to lighten the sense of foreboding. "Welcome to P3X niner-eight-niner, where it's a balmy... room temperature..." Okay so that didn't go over well. Better just do the job. "Fan it out!" 

They investigate the chamber. A suspended ball of light catches Jack's attention. Vague thoughts of Studio 54 and the Bee Gee's pop into his mind. 

"Whoa... Well the lights are on, but there's nobody home!" Say something, Daniel, before he comes out of skin! 

"The technology seems advanced by comparison to what we've seen on most of the human-inhabited planets." Daniel looks around for signs of life. "Maybe they are more advanced than Earth?" 

"They're much more," Carter says. And Carter would know, because, lately, she knows everything. 

"Well, it feels older somehow," Daniel says, and he's right; it's like they've stepped back in time but forward in terms of technology. 

"I know how it feels," Jack backs him up. "This place has seen better days." 

They explore the compound. Jack stays close to Daniel. 

The younger man looks a little saddened that no one has come to greet them. "At least it doesn't appear to be of Goa'uld origin." 

That statement sends Jack a loaded message. Yes, when disappointed, Daniel habitually looked for the silver lining. But once upon a time, anything Goa'uld excited him, because it meant that they were one step closer to finding Skaara and Sha're. Now Daniel was thinking more like an SGC member, hoping they _didn't_ find the Goa'uld, but came across allies instead. 

Daniel was changing. Jack sensed it. It was subtle, but he was... evolving. Jack respected the changes, and the need for them, but it also made him wary. 'Danny' he had a handle on; Danny needed him. 'Daniel' was a trickier fish. Best not to think too much on it...

"Teal'c, have you run into something like this?" 

"I have not," the big guy says with his usual brevity. 

"Computer," Carter announces, flocking to it instinctively. 

They walk into what looks like a control room on all those cheesy daytime television series, filled with banks of computers. Carter touches one, triggering an unusual sound. 

Does she never watch the Sci Fi channel? No touching the big scary alien computers! She is getting to be as bad as Daniel! "Well that sounds ominous! Fall back." 

They make their way back to the gate when suddenly a light crackles and zaps around them. Jack starts to reach out to Daniel, but by then, they've already fallen to the floor. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel has been awake for quite some time. He can't move his head; he can only see the ceiling. There are no sounds, and he can't move his mouth. Coming to the conclusion that he's been bound and gagged, he tries to moan or sigh, but nothing comes out. 

Jack! He wants to call for Jack. 

That's always been his first inclination. Even now, when things between them are so weird, so horribly confusing, when it comes right down to the wire, Daniel's primal instinct is to turn to Jack. When had the man become the pivotal access in his universe? Maybe the moment they met...

If Jack were here, and alive, then he would find a way out of this. Even if he was bound and gagged too. No matter what, if there was a way to bring SG-1 home, Jack would. 

That didn't stop Daniel from worrying about it, though. 

Because if their luck ran out, and this really was the last thing he'd ever do with his life, his biggest regrets—failing to warn his parents before the cover stone fell, failing to convince his colleagues about the pyramids, failing to be there to save Sha're from Apophis—the biggest one would have to be failing to tell Jack the truth. 

The truth was, he wanted Jack. Wanted what Jack had to offer. Wanted to be near Jack. Couldn't stay away from him for more than forty-eight hours without falling apart. He wanted to make Jack happy. He wanted to... make love... with Jack. Because that not only sounded right, it felt right; it felt _familiar_ somehow. Like they had... reached another level—a precipice where only the two of them stood—and there, everything became so clear. Stray but a little on either side, and they would fall into the abyss. 

Daniel had to get out of here. He had to find Jack. So many things needed to be said... 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Jack is awake and tense. The door to wherever they are opens and the fat man walks in with what appears to be SG-1, himself included. 

"I meant no harm," the pudgy little man says. "I will return them through the ring as soon as I am certain you have accepted your transference." 

Ring? Transference? What the hell was going on here? 

"Except it's not really a transference, is it?" Carter says. "From one to the other. We're copies." 

Or not Carter...Jesus Christ. Clones? 

"Yes, as good as the originals. Better even." 

He looks at himself—it's like looking at a 3-D mirror. The... copy... looks so sad his face could break. Well, speaking of that actually.... 

"If you had not been so insistent you would have never seen each other." The man waddles over. "Once I knew the transference was successful, I had intended to send your organic selves back to your world,... uh, their world. They would never have known of your existence. And in time I hoped that you would have accepted yours." 

Ah. Building SG-1 dolls are we? Let him up, he's gonna start killing things! 

"We...can never go back," he watches himself—his copy, say. 

"No, you belong here." The man edges closer. "You are welcome here." 

The Carter-copy walks over to Teal'c and removes the tape from his mouth. "Teal'c." 

"Captain Carter," he hears Teal'c say. 

"Colonel, he's all right." Sounds exactly like Carter. 

"That's great, Captain," his copy says. Oh, he knows that voice. When he uses that voice, that controlled whisper, it usually means... 

His copy walks out. 

Suddenly Daniel is there, walking over to him, touching his head so tenderly, taking the tape off his mouth. "Daniel?" 

"Ah, sort of." So, a copy then. Just a copy. Not the same expressive blue eyes and nervous laugh, not the same body-hugging posture, not the same sweet, deep voice. Not the same lips or tongue. Damn it. It looked the same! No, no. Just a copy. A machine; a creation. Don't start thinking of it as Daniel! 

 

 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=019TinMan.jpg)   


Jack watches the Daniel-copy walk over to his Daniel and help remove the mouth-tape. "Here, let me get that." Same gentle movements; same gentle speech. 

No. This is seriously freaking him out. He did not sign up for this. Who did this—that fat little man, what was his name? 

"Harlan!" he screams. "Where have you been?" 

"Extremely busy." The man shuffles around anxiously. 

"I can see that." Okay, keep the voice down. Won't get anything from him if he's scared half to death. "Doing what?" 

"Oh, ah, creating your synthetic others. Saving the planet. Busy, busy." 

Is the man insane? Synthetic others? "Synthetic?" 

"Yes," Harlan says. "I am sorry for restraining you for so long. I am afraid my plan has failed rather miserably. But as I promised, you are free to go." 

Yes, he did remember Harlan saying that, after introducing himself... while they were coming to, on the... beds... slabs... things. He was too out of it at the time to focus clearly on what Harlan had said. 

"This is impossible," Carter says. The real Carter. 

"It's true," the copy assures her. It's like watching _Parent Trap_ from inside the television. "At first we did not even know we had been changed." 

"Recreating the neural structure on..." 

Oh, here they go. Carter wakes up to find out she's been downloaded into a robot and the first thing she does is discuss the... what was it? 

"...defies the uncertainty principle. We are identical, right down to the mole on our..." 

"Ehhh! Shut up," Carter commands. 

"Was not a copy made of me?" Teal'c asks. 

"Oh yes, yes. Um, but um, I had to disintegrate you," Harlan says apologetically. 

"I see." He seems offended by this. 

Witness if you will, Jack O'Neill's step off into the deep end. That's it. He's had enough. He's going to get some answers. 

 

 

 

 

He walks into the laboratory to see his copy staring at the incomplete Teal'c. If he had to take a guess at what he'd be feeling right at this moment—it would be extreme loss. Not only for his own life, but for the life of his friend; for facing however long these robots had to live, without Teal'c's company. 

Not that they had feelings. Of course they didn't. They weren't human. 

It was a very easy thing for Jack to separate things into the Mercy pile and the No-Mercy pile. They had trained him for that when he was an assassin. Children and puppy dogs and unwed mothers and nuns and common, everyday people with common, every day sense made it into the Mercy pile. Robots and alien viruses and false Gods and everything else got lumped in the No-Mercy pile and that's where it stayed. 

So even if these things looked like him and Daniel—they _weren't_ him and Daniel—and that's all Jack needed to know. 

Apparently his robot felt the same way, by the expression on his face. He had the sinking feeling that his copy had just lumped itself into the No-Mercy pile. 

"Listen, I'm not too happy about this either, you know," he says, because he's unsure of what else to say, because he's not sure why he's even bothering to try to cheer this _thing_ up. 

"You think you know how I feel?" 

_Do_ you feel? He wants to ask, but is afraid of the answer. "Well, yeah. We're basically the same guy, aren't we?" 

"Ah, have a look." The robot shows off the wound that's stripped half his face away. Jack thinks of Darth Vader for a moment. Thinks of Luke's hand. This is so fucked up. 

"Ouch. Sorry." He's not saying sorry for the wound. He's saying sorry for the lack of blood and tissue and muscle beneath it. 

"Yeah." 

This is weird, very weird. "So, um, what the hell happened here?" 

A sigh couples with an angry stance. "Somebody stole my life. That's what happened." 

"You talking about _my_ life?" He was the human here. He was the one who was robbed of his own damn consciousness for Christ's sake. 

"Hey, I've got every right to it that you do. I was kind of hoping I could figure out away to undo all this, get myself back into my body, where I belong." 

That's exactly what he would think, if he were in the robot's shoes. Too damned bad. No- Mercy pile. "Well it's occupied, thank you." 

"I noticed that." His copy looks so vulnerable for a moment. "What does that make me?" The robot turns to him, as if to ask him what the hell he was doing trespassing on such an intimate moment. "What do you want?" 

Crap. Don't go thinking they're real. Don't go thinking they're real. Never be able to let them go if they're real... "Well they're all debating the meaning of life out there. Both Daniels think this is all fascinating. The Carters are arguing already. Teal'c feels left out. You and I have got a few things to talk about..." 

"I'm not going to give you a hard time about who gets to go back, if that's what you mean," the copy promises. 

Well, shit. That takes a load off. "Thank you." 

"It has nothing to do with generosity, believe me. I can't go back. If I could it might be a different story." Yeah. He knows. He knows exactly. 

"Yeah well...there is, um, a little issue of security. You know everything I know about Earth. Codes, defenses." Is he going to have to kill the... not-really-alive robots? Because he doesn't think he can kill the one that looks like Daniel and Carter unless they really are a threat. And he hates that that's a weakness. Wishes he could just blow them all— those terrible mistakes—right out of existence. He's _so_ uncomfortable with this, he doesn't even know where to begin. 

The robot gives him a look. "We'll bury the gate, don't worry. And don't even think about trying to send a bomb to make sure." 

"I wasn't," he insists. 

"Yes, you were. I know you." The robot gives him that Special Ops hard-core stare. 

"All right, all right. You have my word, Colonel." 

The robot smiles. "Call me Jack." 

Jesus Christ, _he_ wasn't that damned insouciant, was he? "Jack?" 

"Yeah. Might as well. I'm not in the military anymore anyway, am I? I'm free to do whatever I want, aren't I?" 

Jack reels. "Such as?" 

The robot smirks. "Such as tell a certain archeo-linguist how I feel about him and hopefully, with no possibility of Sha're entering his picture, I can nail him to the mattress. Well, slab, as it were. And don't even pretend you weren't hoping to do that, because, again, I _know_ you. I _am_ you." 

"You can't!" Jack protests. 

"Why not? I don't have any regs. Daniel isn't married. We're not even human, so what does it matter that we're both men? It's just hardware." The robot taps his cheek. "Give me one good reason." 

Jack stares long and hard. "Because you don't deserve him, Jack." 

The robot stares back. "You're right. We don't. Guess it's a good thing _he's_ got a say in the matter, huh?" 

Jack blinks, taking it all in. 

"He sure can kiss, can't he? You remember... by the kitchen sink? The one he planted on you. The way he moaned? The way he smelled? You remember... just the other day— "

"I remember," he cuts it off. "I remember..."

"So, Colonel. The question is... What are you gonna do about it?" The way the copy looks at him—challenging him not to be such a chicken-shit—it irks him. 

"I still have regulations. Daniel still has a wife." 

"Jack?" it says. "What you _have_ is love. _Real_ love. Don't fuck this up. Go talk to him. Make it okay." 

Harlan's voice says, "Colonel O'Neill?" 

Both he and the robot respond, "Oh, for crying out loud." They share a look. 

"I'll handle this," the copy says, and walks away. 

Jack knows he's going to let them live. For several reasons. One, basically they are, for all intents and purposes, his team; they're just in metallic bodies. Which meant that they'd die before give up iris codes or shoot their mouth off about Earth. Two, because having this kind of technology eventually available to the SGC would prove extremely wise and was part of their mission statement anyway. Three... because Daniel would never forgive him. Because Daniel didn't have a No-Mercy pile. 

In fact, Jack was counting on it. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel read of Jack's feelings about the robot clones, about being trained to shut off the notion that certain lives had value when they differed from what was considered acceptable, or when they presented a risk. This explained a lot about Jack, about his behavior over the years. Daniel had guessed something like it, but to see it so clearly spelled out, it was like waking from a dream. 

How Jack went from being such a switch-flipping solider one minute, to one of the most romantic, idealistic, vulnerable lovers the next... made little sense to Daniel. He could never be that way himself; he was always left open, naked, totally, painfully honest. 

Like Jack was now, in his journal...

~*~

 

 

 

 

_I was so nervous. So nervous, Daniel. I kept thinking, what was I doing? And then I did what I do best—I stopped thinking and just went with it._

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

The rain sluiced down his windows. It was a horrid night. Daniel lit up a candle just in case he lost power—something Jack had always insisted on at the house. He had picked up so many of Jack's habits. Little things; odd things. Turning the wheels into the curb to avoid drifting after he parked. Washing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. Checking the locks before bed each night. 

Daniel did these things automatically now; they'd become his routine. His comforts. But now there was no Jack. Sleep would only come an hour or two at a time. Food tasted like clay or ash. The whole damned world seemed to lose a little bit of color. 

He felt like an idiot. He wanted to go to Jack, to figure out some suave way to say things that would make the man feel... less rejected, but let him understand that Daniel wasn't ready. Daniel wasn't free. Maybe if he was, things would be different. He certainly kept an open mind about this kind of stuff, and there was no denying there was an attraction between them. But attraction wasn't enough. 

Predictably, the power went out. 

Daniel's candle flickered. He didn't even bother to light more; he was too deep in thought. 

If Daniel were to give his body, his heart would go right along with it. That had been an easy bargain with Sha're, because she was so gentle and so alive and so very nurturing— she'd given him her heart and trust in return. And what had he done? He'd betrayed her...

Yet to be fair, Jack had given Daniel his home, his trust, and Jack had nurtured him through some of the worst moments of his life. Maybe what was between them was more than attraction, but how could he be sure? All these dizzy circular thoughts were giving him a headache. 

Then a knock rattled him out of his reverie. He wondered which of the neighbors needed a flashlight. 

"Yes?" he said, opening the door. 

There Jack stood, dripping wet, leaning on his hands, which were planted on either side of his doorframe. "Daniel? Before you slam the door in my face, I just want to say something." 

He was too shocked to do anything—too shocked to slam the door and too shocked to invite Jack in. Not that it mattered, because clearly Jack had something to get off his chest and wouldn't be stopped by niceties or rudeness anyway. 

"What happened between us was not a mistake. Not according to me. I'm not sorry for it and I never will be. But I am sorry that it hurt you. I tried, so _hard_ , Daniel, not to let that happen. Not to let... wanting you... push you too far. But if I was really half as good a friend as I claim to be, I would have stopped you. You have to believe me." 

"Jack—" 

"Daniel. No matter what, I am your _friend_. I will always be there for you. Always. And if I forget that sometimes, I expect you to stand on my feet and shout at me until I remember. But no matter what, Daniel, don't let this... us... slip into weirdness, slip away. Daniel..." Jack reached over and hooked his fingers behind the base of Daniel's skull and touched their foreheads together. "Just... don't leave me all alone, okay?" Jack said, pulling back to look at him hard. "Take however much time you need, but come back to me. Okay?" Then he turned to go. 

"Jack!" he called out involuntarily. 

Jack stopped, looked over his shoulder. "Huh?" 

"You're soaking wet." 

"Ah. Yeah." 

"And it's eleven o'clock at night." 

"Yeah. Sorry." Jack ducked his head. 

"I'm tired." 

"I'm sor—"

"Don't be sorry. Help me get some sleep," Daniel insisted, opening the door. 

"Huh?" 

Daniel opened the door wider. "Don't play stupid, get in." 

Warily Jack entered. Daniel unbuttoned his top—noted the way Jack's eyes grew dark and his hands trembled—and then Daniel nodded to the bathroom. Taking up the candle he led the way, then hung the wet shirt over the tub where it could dry. 

"I'll find you something warm to wear. Just hang these up." Daniel tugged on Jack's soaked jeans. 

"Daniel..."

"Jack..." He sighed. 

They both came together, wrapping each other up in a hug. "I'm sorry too. I... overreacted. I...have a lot I need to tell you. But can we not talk about this right now?" 

"Yeah, sure," Jack said, his breath warm in Daniel's ear. "You betcha." 

"Let's go to bed," Daniel said, a little breathy himself, pulling away. "I'm so tired. Can't sleep without you," he said sheepishly. 

Jack cupped his face. "Danny..." 

He shivered. "Out of those wet things now. I'll get you some sweats." 

"Thanks, Daniel," said softly. 

"Sure, Jack," Daniel said, leaving the candle with the older man. 

 

 

~*~

 


	20. Ibi, apud quin Gratia de Deus

**20\. Ibi, apud quin Gratia de Deus**

 

 

 

Jack woke up the next morning to the sensation of Daniel peppering his chin and cheeks with light kisses. He could definitely get used to this. "Mmm," he said, tugging the younger man closer. They were tangled up together, the soft hair on Daniel's legs tickling as he insinuated a calf between Jack's knees and then rubbed up and down. Skin on skin. Daniel...The last two days had been utter hell without him. 

He kissed him, nothing fancy, just familiar, just the dry press of lips. Daniel smelled like his shampoo—must have used some he'd left from when he was last over—and Jack loved that. Loved that Daniel always seemed to carry a hint of Jack on him. He threaded his fingers through Daniel's hair and sighed, ducking down to lap at Daniel's throat. 

"Oh, Jack," Daniel sighed. Ah, so the neck was a hot-spot for Dr. Jackson, was it? He would be sure to file that away. 

He grinned. "You're not usually up this early. I thought you were tired?" 

Daniel wrapped an arm around him and guided his mouth lower. "Jack...."

Wait. Daniel was _never_ up this early. What time was it? 

He cracked open an eye and saw the clock blinking. "Holy shit fuck!" 

Daniel jerked in surprise. "Huh?" 

"Fuck. We're gonna be late." Jack bounded out of bed and ran for Daniel's shower. "Get a move on, Daniel. Coffee, shower, car. Now, now, now!" 

He jumped under the cold spray, waved soap and conditioner in his general direction, and toweled himself off five minutes later. Grimacing, he realized he'd have to wear the same clothes from yesterday. Luckily they'd dried... for the most part... over night, but they were wrinkled and sloppy. But he couldn't go wearing Daniel's sweats because that would be like walking up to George and saying, 'Hi, sir, why yes, we did fuck like a bunch of queer bunnies last night, sorry to be late!' and he was pretty sure that wouldn't go over well, no matter how paternal Hammond felt towards Daniel. 

Said wayward son sat at the kitchen table—still in his boxers—nursing a cup of freshly made coffee. "Daniel. We don't have time for this." 

"So we're late. It's not the end of the world." 

It very well could be, but saying so would just make him look melodramatic. "Daniel— "

"Jack! Why don't we just call Hammond and explain the power went out and the alarm died? He's a reasonable man." 

He folded his arms over his chest, frowning. "Oh, that will go over well. 'Sir? I was sleeping over at Daniel's when the power blew! It ruined the wake up call. What, sir? What was I doing over at Daniel's last night? Why, we were having a slumber party, sir. Pillow fights and everything. We made s'mores.' Daniel, does your brain not function until the second cuppa?" 

"You're over-reacting. Like no one at the base has ever been late." 

Jack shook his balled fists in the air out of sheer frustration. "Daniel! Does the concept of military discipline ring any bells? Any at all?" 

"You're saying you're going to be disciplined for being late?" Daniel looked at him over the rim of those damned glasses. He had no right to look that sexy. "I'm late all the time, no one says anything but you." 

"Yes! Good, I can see comprehension dawning. Yes, Daniel, I say something to you. Because I'm your _commanding officer_ and when you're late, you make me and my team late, and then my _commanding officer_ , who just happens to run the entire operation, gets to say something to me. Only he's not as nice about it!" Jack went to the fridge and took out the carton of milk and drank from it. 

"That's disgusting, Jack." 

"It's one carton of milk. The world is not going to end," he mocked. He swallowed several more gulps and licked his lips. "Too late for a shower. Go get dressed. We've got..." he glanced at his watch, "eleven minutes before we're supposed to be in a briefing. Haul ass, Daniel." 

Daniel sighed. "Why don't you just go without me? It will look weird if we're both late. The way you drive, you'll probably make it." 

Jack was going to kill him. Kill him! Okay. No more time for arguing. He had three options... One, leave Daniel behind, like that would _ever_ happen. Two, pick Daniel up in a fireman's carry and force him into clothes—sweet God, was he actually considering trying to get Daniel _in_ his clothes? Or three, convince Daniel it was worth his while to get his ass in gear. 

He put down the milk and advanced slowly on the man. Got right up in his face. "I'm going to give you two choices, Daniel," he said huskily. "You can either be a good boy and hurry up and put on some clothes, and meet me in the car," here he paused to lick his lips, "or I can kidnap you, choose the worst outfit in your closet, and Daniel? There are some horrible choices... and I will lecture you the entire drive in on the importance of being punctual." He kissed Daniel softly. "Right after I spank you. Which is it gonna be?" 

Daniel blinked a bit, recovering from the kiss. Jack's words must be filtering through, because then Daniel blushed. He was so _adorable_! "Fine..." He got up and went to the bedroom. 

Jack pilfered some bananas and half a loaf of bread for breakfast, and went to warm the car up. Daniel joined him in two minutes looking surprisingly good for someone that didn't shower that morning. Ah, Daniel was just handsome no matter what, even scruffy. Especially scruffy. 

Damn, he had it bad. "Eat breakfast." 

"Bananas and a slice of whole wheat?" 

"I could shove it up your ass, but somehow I don't think the nutrients would be as well absorbed that way," Jack threatened. Daniel rolled his eyes and ate. 

And played with his radio. They were going to have to have a talk about civilian-versus- military mindsets. He had clearly been remiss in the training of Daniel. 

Jack floored it, and they made it to base only five minutes late. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

The facility on P3R-233 is deserted. It kinda gives Jack the creeps. Carter and Daniel go off exploring, and he and Teal'c sweep the perimeter. The big black sign made of what looks like human skin definitely creeps him out. 

"Whoa! Teal'c? You ever see anything like this before?" 

The Jaffa blanches. Or, he would have, if he could have. He looked really, really shaken. "We must return to Earth as quickly as possible!" 

"Why?" Oh boy. Why didn't he go with his gut feelings more often? "What is it?" 

"It is the symbol of Korosh-ni. It is a sign for any Goa'uld or Jaffa who may pass through the gate. Loosely translated, it means, 'turn back'." 

Nice and vague, just they way he liked his warning labels. "Does it... elaborate?" 

Teal'c looks uncomfortable. "It is placed on worlds the Goa'uld destroyers have wiped out and left contaminated. This planet's entire surface will be, in your terms, radioactive." 

The very words chill him. Jack has no idea why, but the thought of dying by exposure to radiation really freaks him out. Really, really freaks him out. Always has, ever since the Academy, ever since he read _Hiroshima_ and saw footage of the after-effects of the survivors of the bomb. He can't imagine a worst way to go, and he will _not_ let anything like that happen to one of his team. 

"No one will be left alive. This place is not safe." 

Oh, say no more, buddy. We're out of here, he thinks. Where's Daniel? 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel and Sam examine artifacts in what Daniel thinks is a lab. Strange these things have been left all alone...

"I think this is a lab," he tells her. 

"How do you know?" 

He examines the items closely. "These are things that they brought back through the Stargate from other planets to study. They're all tagged. This is a Durkanese mask. This is a clay cone from Lagash with cuneiform symbols on it." 

Suddenly Jack's voice echoes into the room. "Carter! Daniel!" 

"We found a souvenir shop, sir," she calls back. 

Jack strides in, Teal'c hovering behind him. "We're outta here." 

"What? Why?" They can't leave yet, he hasn't even had a chance to take real footage of half of this stuff! "This place is a treasure chest of artifacts from diverse human cultures!" 

"Daniel," Jack says, holding up a hand. "I don't want to hear it. Let's go!" 

Daniel is stunned. Jack has never been so rude to him before. What could possibly have Jack so upset? Was he still upset about this morning? He couldn't be that unprofessional, could he? "You don't want to... hear it..." he repeats stupidly. 

Well screw him, Daniel thinks. He's gonna hear about it, all that and a lot more, soon as they get through the gate. After that, maybe Daniel can return with another team, do some investigative research or something... 

He stuffs as many objects as he can into his pack, stopping to examine one device he's never seen the like of before. He touches it and hears a strange humming noise, then a granite formation—is that Naquadah?—sitting beside the table lights up. Activated by Daniel's touch, the front of the formation wavers and then shows him a mirror image of the lab... except without his reflection. 

"Daniel! We're leaving!" Jack shouts. "Let's go!" 

Compelled by curiosity, he reaches out and touches the mirror. The shock and zing startle him for a moment, but nothing happens...

Which doesn't mean it isn't an important discovery. He better go tell the others of what he's found. "Guys," he calls, heading back to the gate. "I need a hand with this thing. It's too heavy for me to move, but we have to take it... back..." 

Darkness. Silence. Where are the others? "Jack?" Oh God, where's Jack? "Sam? Teal'c?" No way they'd just leave him... "Oh, I really hate it when this happens!" Daniel dials for home, knowing he's going to have to ask the general to let him turn right back around and look for his missing teammates. 

 

 

 

 

Once back through the gate, he's greeted by S.F.s and guns and a whole lot of unnecessary hostility. He tries to explain, over and over, who he is, and to figure out what's going on. Is he still dreaming? Did Jack never get them out of bed? 

"I'm Dr. Daniel Jackson, SG-1" he insists. "I need to see Jack O'Neill!" Jack would make everything all right. Jack would testify for him. They all would. "Ask Sam Carter! Come on!" 

"On the bed," a doctor orders and just like that, soldiers haul him onto an MRI slab. His hands are cuffed in front of him but they still restrain him on the table. 

"I'm not a Goa'uld!" The doctor approaches with this huge syringe. "Don't give me that! Where's Dr. Fraiser?" 

What the hell is going on? He feels like he's landed the starring role in _Fire in the Sky_ the way these people treat him like a damned animal for study. 

"I am Dr. Daniel Jackson," he tries again. "I need to see Colonel O'Neill..."

"You mean _General_ O'Neill?" one of the soldier ask, and then the drugs are kicking in and he can't move his mouth or keep his eyes open...

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

_I don't suppose you have any idea what it's like for me, to think that you're right behind me, and then turn around and you're not there. Unlike a parent who shops for groceries and then discovers their kid's been playing in another aisle, when I turn around and one of my kids isn't behind me, it's usually because they've been snaked or captured or injured or tortured or killed. That kind of panic, Daniel, has turned my hair gray before its time._

_I blame you._

_I looked everywhere for you, you asshole. Alternate realities or whatever notwithstanding, you aged me that day. The thought of you getting exposed to some weird alien radiation... well, you know._

_You know. My worst nightmare... _

_You know... I still have dreams about it._

_Goddamn you._

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel wakes up in a holding cell and kicks the door, demanding to speak with someone. The person that comes to greet him is the last one he expects to see...

"Catherine!" 

She is shocked. "You know me?" 

"Of course." This is like a nightmare that will never end. "You don't know me?" Is everyone suffering from some sort of alien-virus-induced amnesia? 

"Dr. Daniel Jackson. Linguist, ancient Egyptian historian. Better known for some of your more radical ideas. At the moment, I am more interested in how you came through my Stargate?" 

"How...?" Wait, what? "Your Stargate? What the hell is going on here, Catherine?" 

"I prefer you address me as Dr. Langford." And then they have it out. Daniel thinks he's going insane. It's like he never existed at the SGC. Catherine says she lead the cartouche translation team, Catherine says she got the gate open—he'd never even been to the mountain, according to her. 

"I admit we referenced your work occasionally," she says kindly. "I even went to meet you at one of your seminars to ask you to join us. But you said no." 

No? He said no? How? Was he not starving and dirt poor and about to get kicked out of his apartment in this version o' crazy? 

"I did?" 

"You were quite rude, actually," she says. 

Oh great. He's an asshole, too. "Oh, I was?" 

Did he hit his head? Is his unconscious body lying the floor of that lab? He didn't remember falling down any rabbit holes...

Eventually he convinces Catherine to let him out of the cell and speak to Jack. 

 

 

 

 

The briefing room looks exactly the same to him. Except... the emblem says SGA. What's SGA? He stands by the table, nervous, noting the guard staring at him. Then Jack walks in. 

"Jack!" Oh, thank God! He's never been so pleased to see that man in all his life! 

"Look, we're in the middle of a situation right now," Jack says gruffly. "I don't know who you are, but Dr. Langford says you might be able to help us?" 

Jack... looks so different. Holds himself so differently. And yet, it's the same face, same eyes, same... lips. "Okay. This is starting to get a little bit spooky. Now, a few hours ago, everything about this place was different. I mean... well... not completely different. I mean... you're still you... sort of..." He's babbling. Jack hates it when he does that. 

Jack looks to Catherine, then pins him with a brook-no-bullshit stare. "What can you tell me about the Goa'ulds?" 

"What?" Jack doesn't know about the Goa'uld? 

"The Goa'uld. You know who they are?" Jack looks impatient. Then he looks worried, like he's just given away a big secret. 

"Uh. Yeah?" Jesus, what's going on here? Where are the hidden cameras? It's not April 1st, so...

"Tell me what you know," Jack demands. 

"Okay. Now, maybe I've completely lost my mind here," Daniel says, moving towards O'Neill and ignoring the guard. Insanity is a very real possibility. It runs in his family... "But as far as I'm concerned, we know each other very well." Very, very well. _Intimately_ , Jack. Almost _biblically_ , Jack. "You know everything I know." 

Jack just stares at him. 

"Look!" He shows Jack his arm-patch. "I'm a member of SG-1, with you, Captain Carter and Teal'c!" He looks around. "Where... where is Teal'c?" 

Jack continues to stare. 

Amnesia. It must be amnesia... "Uh, big guy. Gold emblem on his head? Goa'uld in his stomach. You can't miss him." 

"A Jaffa?" Jack sounds disgusted. 

"Yes! He's our..." Jack looks absolutely revolted. "... our friend?" 

"Get this man out of here, now!" Jack yells. 

Catherine steps forward. "How'd he come through the gate? How does he know the things he knows?" 

The guard grabs him but he plants himself steady, thinking fast. "According to Dr. Langford, you solved the gate without me. Did you still go to Abydos with the intention of blowing up a nuclear device?" 

Jack waves the guard to stop. "How did you know that?" 

"You were willing to commit suicide because your son had recently died. He..." God, he hates having to do this. "He shot himself with your gun. Right?" 

Jack glances at Catherine. 

"I swear I didn't tell him anything," she says. 

Okay. Breathe deep. He thinks maybe he understands this. "So, did you still go to Chulak?" 

"What is Chulak?" Catherine asks. 

"The Jaffa home world." 

"Do you know the symbols?" she asks. 

"Yes." Obviously. Why is Jack looking at him like that? Why is Jack so angry? "What? Do you want me to write it down?" 

"Yes!" Catherine demands impatiently, shoving a notepad and pen at him. 

He sighs and does as she wishes. "So, if you've never been to Chulak, you've probably never even met Teal'c." 

"Teal?" Jack asks. 

Goddamn it, don't play stupid! "No, Teal'c!" He finishes writing and throws down the pen, walking away to clear his thoughts. "Oh, everything's screwed up! _Why_?"

Just then Sam comes in, her hair long and beautiful, her clothes that of a professional business woman. "Sam!" 

She stops short and looks to Jack. "Who is this?" That is not his Sam. 

"Dr. Jackson," Jack says, voice dripping with disdain. 

Jack would never speak of him like that. Every time Jack ever introduced him, to anyone, he always said 'doctor' with emphasized pride, and usually followed it up with 'two Ph.D.'s' and a big cheesy smile. Jack would never be this cold and Jack would never just dismiss what Daniel had been saying, like he was now. 

This was not his Jack. 

"Of course," he mumbles. 

Catherine turns to Sam. "The young man who came through the Stargate with the SG-1 remote code." 

"Report, Doctor?" Jack orders. 

"We've lost Washington and Philadelphia, sir," she says grimly. 

Oh, God. Please mean the phones are down, the computers are off-line, something... "I'm sorry, what do you mean by lost?" 

Sam looks to Jack and he nods. "Show him." 

She leads him to the control room, where he notices that a technician is plugging in the coordinates he gave them for Chulak. He looks into the embarkation room and sees an assembled warhead. 

"You're sending a nuclear weapon to Chulak?" he asks incredulously. 

"You got a problem with that?" Jack challenges. 

"The Jaffa aren't your enemy," Daniel tries to explain. "They're just slaves." 

Jack looks like he's ready to pop a blood vessel. "All right. Try to comprehend what's going on here. We estimate the death-toll to Earth as 1.5 billion. Who do you think is flying those ships trying to blow up our world, hmm? You give me one good reason why I shouldn't be striking back!" 

Daniel looks at the gate and then stares deeply into Jack's eyes. "They have no choice." 

Jack turns away from him, unimpressed. "Send the bomb." 

"Proceed with deployment," an airman says into the microphone. 

"Proceed with evacuation until that next warhead is ready," Jack commands. 

He can't believe this. This is not happening! No way would Jack do something like this! "You know there are innocent human beings on most of the Goa'uld planets, don't you?" 

But Jack has shut him out, flipped the switch from man to soldier, and turns to Catherine. "Unless this man has more information we can use, I don't want to see him again." He stalks out of the room, leaving Daniel in his wake. 

"This isn't happening. This is nuts. This isn't happening. This isn't happening," he just keeps saying it over and over. It's like he's been trapped in his own private hell. Jack isn't listening, the entire planet is under attack, millions of innocent people are dying and going to die, and there's nothing he can do, because he doesn't have a voice, doesn't belong here, doesn't exist! 

"Is it... is it possible the Stargate malfunctioned or went haywire and... and... and I came through into a totally screwed up version of Earth?" he asks the wall. 

Sam says she doubts it, and goes into a lengthy explanation about alternate realities. She insists the Stargate wouldn't cause him to jump realities. Then he remembers the mirror made of Naquadah that he found on P3R-233. 

"All this started to happen after I touched it," he said. 

So... he's not home at all. It looks like home, but his Jack isn't here, his world isn't here, and by the looks of things, this world won't be here much longer, either. 

 

 

 

 

Later, in the briefing room, Hammond explains that the surveillance cameras have detected a group of Jaffa assembling a weapon at their front door. 

Jack goes into commando-mode, poring over schematics and telling his men which positions to take. "I want all nonessential personnel through the gate to the beta site, ASAP. Dr. Langford, that includes you and our... guest." Jack looks to Daniel. For a moment he can see something of the protective streak in his Jack, before this Jack's eyes harden over and become cynical once more. 

"Sir," Sam says, "the Goa'ulds have been keeping a wormhole established from off- world." 

To protect themselves from attack. "That's probably because you sent that bomb through to Chulak." He looks to Jack. 

Sam jumps in. "The point is, unless we get another window of opportunity to open the gate from here, we're all stuck." 

"Recommendations?" Jack polls. 

Don't send the bomb? Oh wait; Daniel already said that! 

"Well, under normal circumstances, when we have full power, we can only keep a wormhole established for about a half-hour. There may be a restriction on how long the Goa'ulds can keep theirs active from off-world." 

Jack nods. "So there's a time limit?" 

"Right." Sam and Jack share a look and Jack walks out, determined to hold down the fort. 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Daniel shows them the video footage he'd taken of P3R-233. Time passes and slowly they come to accept the notion that he's from another version of their reality. 

Suddenly Jack walks back in. 

"How's it going up there, General?" Hammond asks. 

"Getting the crap beat out of us. How's it going here?" Jack looks them all over. 

"I'm estimating it will be 25 before we can try to open the gate again." Sam shrugs. 

"And when we do," Hammond says, "Dr. Langford here has presented us with an interesting dilemma. She seems to think we've been handed the address to a Goa'uld home world... possibly where this attack originated." 

Jack nods. "We'll send a bomb through." 

"Excuse me?" Daniel tears off the paper from the tablet. "Um, I know you think of me as an outsider here, but what good will that do? I mean, forget the fact that it won't change what's happening here, how do you know they don't have some kind of iris like yours? I mean... this could all be for nothing." 

Sam backs him up. "Yeah, we probably only have one shot at dialing out. If we use that one opportunity to dial a Goa'uld world, we'll never get out of here ourselves." 

Suddenly Catherine sees SG-1 on Daniel's footage. "My God!" she gasps. 

"What the hell's that?" Jack asks. 

"My reality," Daniel says with a smile. 

 

 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=020TherebutfortheGraceofGod-monitor.jpg)   


 

 

Then they see Teal'c, and Jack's face goes slack as Catherine says that the very same man is leading the invasion to his base. 

"Well, he was, and probably still is, the First Prime of Apophis," Daniel defends. "He would be charged with the most important mission..." Jack looks like he's going to start foaming at the mouth. "Look, this is going to sound pretty selfish, but where I come from none of this has happened yet. In my reality, the Earth that I know still has a chance." 

"You want to explain that?" Jack snaps. 

"If this address really does lead to the Goa'uld world where this attack originated and I can get this information back to my world, then maybe I can stop this before it starts there." 

"Wh...What makes you think the Goa'ulds are even going to try attacking Earth in your universe?" Sam asks with concern. 

"Oh, I'd say we've pissed the Goa'uld off just as much as you have, probably even more," Daniel says. He thinks of Abydos, of dry summer heat, his wife, and all the missions in between. 

Jack fixes him with a look, a look he knows quite well. "All right. Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. You want us to give up what might be our last chance to strike back at the Goa'ulds so we can save ourselves in a... in a... wh-what?" He looks to Sam. 

"Alternate reality," she supplies

Okay, it sounds ludicrous but... "Not just yourselves, everyone on Earth." 

" _Your_ Earth!" Jack spits out. 

Cold. Why does this hurt so much? Who is this Jack? Would Jack be like this, if the two of them had never met in his reality? "The Jack O'Neill that I know would do it." 

"Well, apparently, you and I have never met." 

Daniel looks at him, sadness pulling him down like a heavy tide. "No... I guess not." Jack examines him for a long time, those brown eyes melting and hardening again. He could stare at Jack forever and never really know him. 

"Look, all I know is that because I came here, I have seen what can happen. Now I have a chance to keep this from happening to the Earth that I come from... if you help me." 

Jack thinks hard and fast, looking at Sam. "How much time, Doctor?" 

The lights overhead flicker. Rumbling...rumbling...

"Twenty-two minutes," she says softly. 

"All right, so the argument is academic." Jack folds his arms. "We can never hold them that long anyway." 

Daniel bites his lip. He knows Jack wants to do the right thing—in any reality—but he needs alternatives to help him along. "Well, maybe we can buy some time." 

"How?" 

"Not how. Who." 

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel shows Jack the video footage and tells him of how his Jack had won the trust and alliance of his Teal'c. Jack finally agrees to try and talk to this Teal'c, and Daniel thanks him. 

Then Jack gives that familiar rogue smile and says, "I think this is the part where you all wish me good luck!" But no one says anything. He turns to go... 

"Jack," Sam says, so affectionately that Daniel frowns. 'Jack'? 

He watches them embrace—watches them cling together like lovers—and reels as Catherine asks, "I take it they're not engaged in your reality?" 

Why does that _hurt_ so much? He can't think about this now. He does not have time to doubt what's passed between them. 

After Jack leaves to talk to Teal'c, Daniel experiences a strange, numbing sensation. It is so far beyond the boundaries of all he knows, all he ever imagined possible. But it's like he could _sense_ Jack was going to his death. He knows, with certainty, that after sending the bomb, there is no chance for peace. Even if this Jack manages to persuade this Teal'c, their cause is already hopeless. 

He tears up at the thought, but holds himself together. There was still a chance to save his world, his Jack, and he would not let it slip away. 

A sudden, crystal image comes to his mind—Jack at the end of Teal'c's staff weapon, preparing to die. Daniel shuts himself off. 

 

 

 

 

The Jaffa approach even as the gate dials. Sam buys Daniel time by heading them off. Daniel can see the grenade she hides in the palm of her hand. His eyes sting. He races down to the embarkation room just as the briefing room explodes. 

The iris opens and the gate whirs and spins as chevrons encode. Daniel turns towards the control room just as Catherine is surrounded by Jaffa. The blast-shield slowly lowers as he watches them take aim. He's never going to get over this. 

The base computer announces, "Auto-destruct in one minute!" 

Pounding, blasting at the gate room door. Teal'c steps through and stares directly at Daniel. Daniel stares back. Please, Teal'c, please, he thinks. Let me live. Let me live and I'll save your family, let me live and I'll save _our_ family! 

"Auto-destruct in thirty seconds!" 

Teal'c hesitates and the wormhole establishes. Daniel runs up the ramp, a blast from Teal'c's staff weapon singeing his shoulder just as he enters the event horizon....

 

 

 

 

Daniel tumbles through the gate and down the stairs on P3R-233. He crawls, clutching his wound, coughing, his only thought of getting to Jack. 

He forces himself to the lab and touches the active mirror. Energy surges over him. Home...

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Jack has been frantically searching the facility for hours. And hours. He won't let the rest of the SGC personnel continue to work without him, because it's a member of his team, his Daniel, and he'll be damned if he's going to go back through the gate and sit this one out. 

"Any luck?" he asks Carter. 

"Nothing." 

Then he hears Daniel cry out. The sound is like a physical blow. They all rush towards the lab. 

Jack finds Daniel lying on the floor next to a granite slab. "Daniel!" he booms. 

He races in and kneels over the younger man, checking out the shoulder wound. "What the hell is this?" Can't he leave Daniel alone for two seconds? And where did the wound come from? They hadn't seen any hostiles! 

"It appears to have been caused by a staff weapon," Teal'c says. Are there still Jaffa around here? 

Carter gently pulls a crumpled piece of paper out of Daniel's hand. "This looks like a Stargate address." 

Daniel is out of it, and Jack just wants to get him home. "All right. Let's get him back to Earth." Jack starts to pull the man up when Daniel clutches his arm hard enough to hurt. 

"No, Jack!" Daniel pants heavily. "We're all in very big trouble." 

What is Daniel babbling about? He can't stand it when Daniel babbles. Carter and Teal'c look like they don't have a clue either. 

The younger man's eyes glitter with pain and fear. "They're coming! They're coming...." 

Jack has no idea what he's talking about, but he trusts Daniel enough to know, this is bad. Very, very bad. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel hated thinking about other realities. One might think, for a man who'd lost his wife, who'd lost his lover, his parents, his sense of belonging, that the idea of a million possibilities—the chance for a utopia in which his parents grew old, Sha're gave him children, and Jack never lost his little boy or at the very least, never stopped loving Daniel—would turn an idealist like Daniel on. 

But the truth of the matter was, somewhere out there, Jack O'Neill was probably making love to Samantha Carter, and Daniel Jackson was probably dead. And it didn't matter much which reality that was, because it looked like that's the way his reality was headed, if Jack ever got out of stasis. 

Then again...

Appearances could be deceiving. Especially where Jack was concerned. 

He looked down at the journal. Jack still loved him, it would seem. Still wanted him, he had said. 

Holding the book close to his chest, he breathed deeply. What would it be like, if he had made different choices? If what happened next... never happened at all? Would he regret it? Would things have been better? Would he and Jack ever have...

No, Daniel thought. No regrets, not a damned one. He would trade all the utopias just for the chance to make love to Jack again. 

"Come home," he said to the empty house. The silence was his only answer. 

 

 

~*~


	21. Rem Publicam

**21\. Rem Publicam**

 

 

 

 

Daniel allowed Jack and Teal'c to muscle him through the gate. It was very late at night, but Hammond was still there, waiting to greet them. He tried to explain where he'd been and what he'd seen, but he just babbled. So much so that Jack put a hand over his mouth and said, "Sir? Daniel's been injured. Request permission to take him to the infirmary before we debrief?" 

And really, it pissed him off, because even if it's true, there were more important priorities to attend to than his flesh wound. The entire Earth was at stake. Not that it mattered to Mother Hen O'Neill, oh no. Daniel let Teal'c guide him to Janet, but the entire time he looked at Jack and tried to get Jack to listen. 

It was like trying to talk to a brick wall. 

"Jack, I'm telling you. I touched this device and I was transported to this other SGC and the Goa'uld were already attacking—"

"Daniel," Jack cut him off. "Just let the good doctor tend to your arm. Then I'm taking you home, unless it's serious... It's not serious, is it?" Jack asked Fraiser, looming over her suddenly. 

"No, Colonel. The skin is burned but the wound does not go deep. I'll give him some pain medicine and a bandage, he'll have to keep his arm in a sling, so no driving." Janet looked at Jack. "Under your care, he should be fine." 

"Good. Fine," Jack said. "So, I'll take you home, you can tell me all about it, and then we'll debrief Hammond in the morning." 

"Jack, we may not have much time," Daniel tried, but Jack just held up a hand, and then Janet swabbed him with disinfectant which stung like a mother-fucker, and Daniel bit off a curse. He was going to start shouting from the rafters in a second... but then he looked in Jack's eyes. 

Jack had been worried. Really worried. And Jack was silently promising to hear him out, later, at home, after Daniel reassured him he was fine, and so he sighed, knowing he could do that for Jack, he owed Jack that much. 

Janet patched him up, slapped a bottle of pain medication in his palm—medication he knew he wouldn't take—and soon Jack was driving him home. 

 

 

 

 

Daniel didn't even bother with the radio. He was tired. To him, he'd just come back from an all-out invasion of Earth, and he'd been shot, and he couldn't get anyone to really listen to him. He was drained. 

"You want the radio?" Jack asked. 

"No." Exhausted. Was it possible to get reality-lagged? 

Suddenly Jack's fist connected with the steering wheel, startling Daniel. "You scared the ever-loving fuck out of me, Daniel! Where the hell were you?" 

Daniel looked at Jack—saw the grim lines around the mouth and eyes, the tired, frazzled expression. "I'm sorry, Jack, but I already told you. I touched that thing, and I went to a different Earth—"

"I'm finding it hard to believe..." Jack trailed off and touched his fist to his lips. 

"Are you saying you don't trust me?" Daniel asked carefully. 

Jack sighed, turning left. "No, Daniel. I'm saying, maybe you don't know what really happened. Maybe you got shot by a hostile, blacked out, pulled a _Wizard of Oz_ while unconscious and woke up thinking you'd been to an... alternate... reality... Christ, even saying it sounds weird." 

"Jack, if it had gone down that way, why did the hostile just leave me there to have this little nightmare?" 

Jack shrugged. "Maybe he thought you were dead." 

"From a flesh wound?" Daniel asked incredulously. "Jack. It really happened. And if you don't want to take my word for it, fine, don't. But turn this car around and take me back to base, now!" 

Daniel was upset. Angrier than he'd ever let Jack see him before. He hated, loathed, when people didn't take him seriously. He hated it when they did it at his lecture; he hated it now. He didn't mind being questioned, but being dismissed, especially when he knew with all his heart he was right—that scalded him. 

"Calm down, Daniel. Just... just, calm down, okay?" Jack reached over and rubbed the back of his knuckles over Daniel's thigh. "I didn't mean to insult you. Look, I want to believe you, okay? It's a little hard to accept. And it's very late tonight. Let's go home, you can tell me what you need to, I'll listen, and then let's just go to bed, okay? I'm... I'm kinda tired..."

If Jack said he was kinda tired, it meant he was dead on his feet. Daniel allowed his expression to soften, and he squeezed Jack's wrist reassuringly. "Okay," he agreed softly. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Jack trudged into the house behind Daniel, helped him take off his coat because of the sling and then pulled out two beers from the fridge. He was so goddamned tired. Daniel was wound tight, the whole time since Jack had found him he'd been babbling, and Jack hated it when Daniel did that because he couldn't think straight or focus and Jack hated being kept off-balance. Sighing, he twisted off the tab and handed a beer to Daniel. "I know you don't like it, but I figure you're not going to take your meds unless I force it down your gullet, so you might as well have a beer..."

Daniel accepted it without argument. "It's good. Thanks." 

"Come on." Jack left the kitchen and headed down the stairs to the living room. He sat on the sofa and indicated that Daniel should sit on the floor between his legs. 

With a bewildered expression, Daniel tenuously sat before him. Jack looped a finger around, indicating Daniel should turn around and face the coffee table, because honestly, if Jack had to face Daniel sitting in front of his crotch, this evening was going to take an entirely different course of events. "Turn around." 

Daniel did, and Jack gently pulled him back until Daniel bumped against the couch. He stretched his fingers and then began massaging Daniel's neck and shoulders. The younger man's head fell forward with a groan. Daniel was extremely tense. Rigid. Jack worked gently but he didn't treat Daniel with kid gloves, because what the younger man needed now, more than anything, was a sure touch. 

"Now," he said softly, his voice carrying out into the semi-darkness of the house. "Why don't you tell me what you saw, or whatever it is you feel you need to tell me, and then we'll go to bed?" 

Daniel instantly relaxed—apparently all he wanted was someone to listen and Jack could do that, always—and the younger man's head lolled over to Jack's thigh as Jack rubbed his thumbs in circles over Daniel's shoulders. 

Daniel gave him a brief sketch of events from the moment they had gotten separated until when Jack found him wounded on the floor. Jack had a really hard time accepting it, but if Daniel really had experienced what he said he had, then Jack wouldn't put it past the Goa'uld to try to obliterate Earth. It was just too much to take in all at once. 

Jack paused in his ministrations to take a swig of beer, and Daniel nuzzled his leg, and Christ, that got him hard, but he continued massaging, now the scalp, slow, powerful, continuous circles. 

"Mmm," Daniel said. "S'good." 

"Told ya I'd return the favor someday." 

"You always make good on your promises," Daniel agreed. 

Jack petted Daniel's hair for a bit. "It's very, very late. We have to be in early. You have to tell everything you told me to Hammond. Let's go to bed." 

"I want a shower." 

"Daniel." 

"I stink, Jack. I smell like ozone..."

"I don't care what you smell like. Let's just go to bed." Jack leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to Daniel's head, because it just felt natural to do so, and it earned him a little smile. 

" _I_ care what I smell like. I'll take a quick shower and be in in a moment." Daniel's hands came up and linked around his neck, keeping Jack's lips pressed into the soft hair for a moment. 

Jack reluctantly pulled away. "Mind your wound." 

"Yes, Ma," Daniel said, getting up and padding to the bathroom. Jack sighed, just so damned happy to have the younger man back, he let the Ma thing go. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel shut the door with a huge sigh of relief. He was so hard! Jack's massage had really turned him on, and the soft voice and sincere concern, the way Jack just listened... and then that kiss! Jack just kissed him, like it was the natural order of things. Didn't even think about it, that's how close they'd become. He knew he had to do something because if he didn't take care of his erection some how, he would have climbed into bed with Jack and jumped him. 

They weren't ready for that yet. 

God, did he actually just think _yet_?

Daniel turned the water on full force and took off his clothes and bandage. He stepped under the warm spray. Quickly lathering up his hair, he didn't even bother with soap, he just shut his eyes and tried to banish away the images suddenly infiltrating his brain. 

Jack's hands on his body... starting slow and soft, then growing harder, more possessive, moving lower... what would those hands feel like on his pecs, his stomach, his dick? Daniel's own hands explored the trail, he reached down to cup himself and sucked a breath through his teeth. Oh, it felt so good...Don't moan. 

Taking a handful of Jack's shampoo—God, he loved that smell—he formed a tight ring with his fingers and fisted his cock. He pulled slowly, gently tugging the skin up and down, up and down, all the while imagining Jack's mouth on his, Jack's hand in his hair, on his dick... He pressed his lips to the back of his hand and looked down, watching the water cascade all around him, watching his own hand fondle his aching hardness. 

His thoughts ran along two lines, simultaneously. He was awed and disturbed on the outside, looking in, because he knew he was in his friend's home, in his friend's shower, masturbating with his friend's shampoo, and to compound the sin—he was fantasizing about that very friend being the one do to obscene, filthy things to him. Plus, he was supposedly a straight, married man. But on the inside looking out, all he could see were Jack's liquid brown eyes raking over his body, Jack's calloused hands roughly possessing him—expertly manipulating his stiff prick—Jack's mouth on his neck, his shoulder, his ass... oh, God, his thighs, his dick. 

He pumped himself, biting his own hand, hoping desperately that Jack's Special Ops senses didn't range this far, because he could never look the other man in the face again. The hot water irritated his wound, made it hard to breathe, but he couldn't stop, because it felt so fantastic, his hips canting forward to fuck his own hand, pretending it was Jack's hand, pretending Jack was in the shower with him, behind him, rubbing his own hard dick against Daniel's ass while jerking Daniel closer and closer to completion. Oh, God, he wanted Jack's dick trapped between his thighs, wanted to give him the snug channel to grind and fuck against, wanted to drive Jack wild... 

Little streams of water fell over his face, down his neck, and Daniel imagined it was Jack's tongue laving him, trailing over every inch of his skin. He opened his eyes under the stream, the outside vision blurry and stinging, the inside vision—picturing himself on all fours while Jack fucked him from behind—overwhelming, and he came, his teeth biting hard into his knuckles, his come spurting on the wall, the shower knobs, the tub. He panted, totally spent, more than a little ashamed but too tired and sated to really do anything about it. Detaching the showerhead he washed the evidence away, cleaned himself off and got out. He toweled off, not bothering to dry his hair, and silently slipped into bed with Jack. 

The older man sneaked an arm under Daniel and pulled him close, letting him settle into their very intimate, familiar position. "Had a good time, did we?" 

Shit. Fuck. Goddamn those Special Ops skills—he was so careful to be quiet. "Oh fuck you," Daniel murmured, too embarrassed to even open his eyes. 

"Oh, say the word," Jack joked, stroking his fingers over Daniel's back. "I guarantee you I'm a better lay than my shower." 

"Jack!" Daniel groaned, dying of shame. 

Jack kissed his hair again, holding him tight, not letting him pull away. "You needed the release. Go to sleep." Those calloused fingertips slipped under the rim of his boxers and then Jack scratched his nails lightly up and down over the base of Daniel's spine. He sighed with ridiculous pleasure. "Like it..." he murmured, so sleepy. 

"Go to sleep, Daniel..." Jack whispered. He did. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

The next day Jack hustles Daniel out the door and takes him straight back to the infirmary, all the while chiding Daniel for not applying a new bandage the night before. He watches, along with Carter and Teal'c, as a male nurse patches Humpty-Daniel back together again. 

"'Beware The Destroyers'. That's what the message said. These are the coordinates the Goa'uld will launch their attack from," Daniel insists, showing the crumbled legal note to the team. "It was a warning." 

"Or so your vision foretells," Teal'c says. 

"No! It wasn't a vision or a dream or a hallucination. It was..." The nurse rips off the bandage and reapplies it. Daniel grits his teeth and growls, "real. Now, I know this is hard for you guys to believe. But I swear to you, the entire time you thought I had disappeared on P3R-233, I was experiencing an alternate reality." 

"And you were there," Jack nods to Teal'c, "and you were there," then nods to Carter, "and there's no place like home." God, he said as much last night. Daniel had probably just hallucinated after being hit and pulled a Dorothy on them. 

"As a matter of fact you _were_ there," Daniel says snootily. 

"Daniel. It's not that we don't believe you..." Carter says, looking to Jack. 

"So you do?" Daniel presses. 

"No. It's just that we don't believe you." Jack shrugs. What does he want, huh? 

"Jack, this is very important." Daniel's using that tone he gets sometimes, when he thinks Jack is being extremely immature because he can't grasp how adults are supposed to behave. 

"All right. Daniel, when you were in this alternate reality, were there differences?" Carter asks. Always thinking, that woman. 

"Yes." Daniel considers. "Uh, Teal'c was leading the attack on Earth. I wasn't even part of the program. You and Jack were engaged to be married..." 

What the fuck? "Excuse me?" 

"What?" Carter asks, horrified. 

Okay, there's no need to be horrified. He looks her up and down. It's not like he'd ever... go for... um... her...

"Okay," she says, "uh, even if you did actually experience the alternate reality, doesn't the very fact that there were differences mean that we won't face the same fate?" 

"Yes. But the defining event, the death of Ra, took place in both worlds." Daniel looks at them all as if this should be obvious. 

"An attack of retribution," Teal'c states. See, he always knew Teal'c favored Daniel. Not that he blamed him, who could help it, the man's irresistible. 

"Yes!" Daniel jumps up excitedly. "And the same thing is going to happen here unless we stop it." 

"All right. Wait a minute." Jack fiddles with his fingers. "Let ... Let me get something straight here. _Engaged_?" 

"It is theoretically possible," Carter defends. 

Um, ring, ring, hello? "It's against regulations!" Not that that was stopping him from, oh, say, sleeping next to a member of his team... under his command... who also happened to be male, every night. 

"I'm talking physics, sir," Carter bites off. "Though the whole concept of alternate realities, entire alternate universes, was predicted by Einstein a long time ago..."

Hammond suddenly enters the infirmary with Samuels behind him. 

"I thought you might all be here," the general says kindly. "How's our boy?" 

"He's gonna be just fine General," Carter says. Jack squints. You know, in an alternate reality, he could really see those two as siblings. She turns and greets the asshole. "Major Samuels." 

"That's Lieutenant Colonel Samuels now, Captain." Samuels smiles like a pig in shit. 

"I beg your pardon, sir. Congratulations." 

"Thank you." 

Oh, fuck this guy. "You'll always be Sparky to me," Jack says with a grin. 

"I thought you'd been transferred to the Pentagon, sir," Carter cuts in, always eager to smooth things over. 

"I was. Stargate Mission Analysis. I'm here today, of course, for the hearing." 

The wha...? One more weirdness, and he was gonna pop. As far as Jack was concerned, he gated back from the ice cave and everything just went nutso on him. Rubbing off with Daniel, alternate realities, Daniel jerking off in his shower, being engaged to Carter, made-up hearings... "Hearing?" 

"Senator Kinsey? The Stargate Project? Uh, I thought you were going to testify." Samuels blinks innocently. Too innocently. 

"They will," Hammond reassures. "SG-1 just retuned from a mission last night. I haven't had a chance to inform them." 

Oh boy. It wasn't even Monday. "Well, perhaps I shouldn't say too much more," Samuels says. The man should be on daytime TV; he doesn't belong in the Air Force. 

"Oh cut the crap Samuels. What's going on?" Jack presses, feeling defensive. They weren't going to put Teal'c on their own little Cor-ai were they? 

"Senator Kinsey has taken a great deal of interest in the program. And thus far he hasn't liked what he's seen." 

Whoop de frigging do. "I'm sorry to hear that." 

"As you should be, Colonel. It could mean the end of the Stargate. The hearing is at 1400 hours. I look forward to seeing you all there." Samuel exits with a smarmy flourish that would do Maybourne proud and Jack can feel the anger pounding in his temples before the man is fully out of the room. Fucking great. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel sits in the briefing room doing his absolute best not to stare at Jack in his dress blues. He tries looking at Sam but his eyes just slide back over to Jack. The subject of his fantasies just kicked it up a notch with that hot little number. Damn, Jack looked...

"Well, he's late," Jack complains. 

"You seem more apprehensive of this hearing than you are of battle," Teal'c says. 

"I prefer battle actually," Jack responds. Yes, Jack would. Jack O'Neill: doer, not a talker. Good thing Daniel was a talker. 

"I'm sure once we tell him that the Earth's future is at stake..." he tries, but Jack cuts him off. 

"Daniel. Let's just keep the alternative reality story as our little ace in the hole, shall we?" 

 

 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=021Politics.jpg)   


But, it's important! Didn't Jack get that last night? "Why?" 

Samuels, military aides and Senator Kinsey walk down the spiral staircase and advance upon the briefing room. 

"Just because," Jack says, moving to salute. 

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I apologize. A certain congressman, who will go nameless, just does not know how to take no for an answer." Okay, well, Kinsey seems amiable enough. "Ah, this is the infamous SG-1." 

Infamous? Daniel blinks. 

"Infamous?" Jack asks, going over to shake the man's hand. See, Jack can be charming when he wants to, Daniel thinks. "Yes, sir. Colonel Jack O'Neill." 

"Colonel. I've heard a lot about you." Oh, they're screwed. 

"Don't believe a word of it, Senator," Jack says with a smile. "I'm actually a nice guy." 

Kinsey doesn't respond to that, instead turning to the windows to stare at the gate. "And this must be the drain through which the money flows." 

Uh-oh. Perhaps not such an amiable guy? 

"I know you have a very busy schedule, Senator," Hammond says. 

"Yes. Of course, General Hammond. Please be seated." They sit, and Daniel feels a tingle of worry spread along his nerves. "Let me see. Colonel O'Neill. Captain Carter. Dr. Jackson. Teal'c. With an _apostrophe_ , I understand." 

Oh, he doesn't like this guy. 

"Let me first say, that although illness robbed me of the chance to ever serve in this country's military, I have the greatest respect for those who do. Especially those who have made service of country their life's work. As I have, in my own way. There is no more honorable vocation." 

"Thank you, Senator. I couldn't agree more," Hammond says. 

"Having said that," Kinsey clarifies, "I want to make one thing abundantly clear. I am by nature suspicious of all things secretive. Be they in the government or inside the military service. I believe that which grows in shadow, but withers in the light of day ...does not belong on the vine. I've read several reports of your excursions. Colonel Samuels has been kind enough to brief me on the Stargate and I have tried to maintain an open mind. I must admit I find the very idea of this facility, of this command, offensive." 

Offensive? Okay, Daniel really doesn't like this. He can almost see Kinsey coil for the strike. 

"It is far too dangerous to be this secretive. I have found several examples where you have averted tragedy on a global scale by the skin of your teeth, and virtually none where you have brought back anything of worth. However... since I have, on occasion, been wrong before, the president of the United States has asked me to hear you out. So here I am." 

Daniel now officially does not like this guy. Which means Jack is going to hate him. 

"Well. So long as you've got an open mind..." Jack says snidely. 

"Colonel," Hammond quietly reprimands. 

"For crying out loud!" Jack barks. Oh, a diplomat the man is not. "Samuels, what did you tell this man?" 

"The truth," Samuels insists. 

Sam and Daniel try to keep the conversation on topic, attempting to prove how invaluable the Stargate project is to Earth's interests. 

"It also gives us insights into human cultures that are thousands of years old," Daniel says, though he realizes no one else in the room really cares. Well, maybe George and Sam, but...

"Dr Jackson," Kinsey says. "I'm sure as a scholar of ancient mythology you're familiar with the story of Pandora." 

Where's he going with this one? "From Greek mythology, of course. The first woman ever created by Zeus, who according to legend gave her a box and warned her never to open it." 

"But she did," Kinsey says. "Out of curiosity. Despite the warning of her God, who was also her father, she did. And from it sprung all the plagues, pestilence and evil that exists now in this world." 

Rat bastard. "And keeping in mind we are talking about a _myth_ , she closed it in time to keep _hope_ inside." 

"Then should we not close your gate for the same reason, to keep hope inside?" Kinsey smiles. 

"Senator if ...if I may jump in here?" Jack says, glaring. "I'm not as slick as you guys talking in metaphors, here. I'm a military man. I prefer facts. And the fact is the gate... i.e. _The Box_... is already open. Now what is done is done. We made ourselves an enemy by killing Ra. But the threat the Goa'ulds now represent..." 

"Threat?" Kinsey interrupts. 

"Yes, sir. As in _threatening_?" Damn, Jack could be such a smartass. 

"The word threat, Colonel O'Neill, has been used far too often by this country's military as a justification for expenditure that we can no longer afford. Do you know how much this program costs?" 

How much _does_ this program cost, Daniel wonders. 

"Sevenish," Jack says. 

Seven million dollars? 

"Seven billion, four-hundred and seven million dollars," Kinsey clarifies. 

Oh. God. Seven billion. Oh, God. No wonder...

"Give or take." Jack never told him this? Well, it doesn't really matter. It could cost seven trillion, they still needed to keep it open...

"Per _year_ ," Kinsey adds. 

"With all due respect Senator, the Accounting Department is up on level 3, I believe." Daniel has to bite his cheek. He really, honestly can't stand it when Jack gets snarky with him, but when he gets like that with assholes like Kinsey, Daniel could just lean right over the table and kiss him. "But if you want to talk about being the first line of defense against what I believe is the greatest enemy humanity has ever faced..." 

"Hyperbole!" Kinsey interjects. 

Jack grimaces. "See for yourself. General, I suggest we dial up ol' P4A-771, I believe it was. See how long the good Senator lasts in that world." 

"I have spent a career listening to doomsayers in uniform," Kinsey spits. Yes, Jack, this is how it feels when no one believes you, Daniel thinks. Sucks, doesn't it? "Let us build our billion dollar machine and we will save America from the barbarians at the gate. Let me remind you that the Cold War is over." 

"And let me tell you something!" Jack yells, really steamed. "This time there really are barbarians. They're called Goa'ulds, and they really are at the gate. _That_ one!" 

"Then I suggest we close it." 

Okay this is going nowhere. Jack is ready to come to blows and he has to say something. "Senator, we have reason to believe that the Goa'uld are about to launch an attack, in force, in ships." 

"Then I think they'll regret taking on the United States military." The man is a fool. How did the people elect such an idiot? 

"Oh for Gods sake!" Jack exclaims. 

Daniel can't help but agree. "Oh, you're right. We'll ...we'll just upload a computer virus into the mothership," he says, looking at Jack. That was such a Jack thing to say. 

"If they come in ships, Senator, we won't be any match for them." Sam shifts in her chair. "At their level of technology they can wipe us out from orbit." 

"I'm not convinced of that," the senator insists. 

"They speak the truth," Teal'c assures. 

"I'm not entirely convinced of that either." 

That has Jack on his feet. Daniel knows that the second anyone challenges his kids, Jack's hackles are up and he won't back down. "General, what the hell are we doing here? This man has made up his mind already." 

Kinsey stands up too. "Sit down, Colonel," Kinsey says with pure venom. "When I've made up my mind, you will _know_ it. I will ask you once more. Sit Down. Please." 

Jack looks to Hammond, because Daniel knows Jack respects Hammond, but he really just wants to rip into Kinsey with both hands. 

"Colonel," Hammond says softly. 

Jack sits. Kinsey also sits. 

"I gave the president my word that I would give you a fair hearing, and I intend to do that. He held you and your team up as a shining example of the fine work the SGC is doing. Now, do you stand by SG 1's record?" 

Is that a red flag Kinsey's waving in front of Jack? "Yes, I do." Of course he does. 

"Then let's just go through it shall we?" 

 

 

 

 

And they spend the next several hours trying to defend all the missions they'd gone on that year, and why they didn't bring back defense technology or signed treaties. In the end it was, as Jack would have put it, a kangaroo court. 

"I'm sorry, General," Kinsey says to Hammond. "But your best is not good enough. I do not approve of, nor support this endeavor and I have heard nothing here today that would change my mind. I intend to shut the Stargate down." 

It falls between them like a death sentence. 

Kinsey nods to Samuels, gathers his papers and prepares to leave. Samuels looks so smug, Daniel realizes it was meant to go down this way all along. He gets up from the table and walks in front of the senator, blocking his path. 

"Senator, please. Listen to me." 

"I think he's made up his mind, Dr. Jackson," Samuels says. 

"You want your one reason, I'll give it to you," he says. God, please let them listen! "What if I told you I knew that they were coming in ships? What if I said that a ship larger than the great pyramids was going to land right on top of this mountain in a matter of weeks, maybe days?" 

Jack winces and looks down. 

Kinsey smirks. "Then I would be curious to know why you've waited until this moment until before saying so?" 

"Because I didn't think anyone would believe me. And if I didn't live through it myself, I'm not sure I would." Which is true. Maybe he would doubt Jack, just as Jack doubted him, if roles were reversed, but it still stung. "But it is a fact. And if you shut this program down, you have robbed us of our one chance to stop them before they get here." 

"Uh, where did you learn this information?" Kinsey asks. 

"On our last mission. We came across a civilization with a level of technology similar to our own. They had been wiped out. They left behind a warning. 'Beware the Destroyers'... Now along with that warning, came a set of numbers, coordinates that indicate where the final Goa'uld attack will be launched from." He shows the man his crumpled paper. 

"And did all of you witness this warning?" Kinsey asks, looking at Sam and Teal'c. He knows he has to come clean, and he knows it probably won't work, but he has to try. 

"No, sir, they didn't. Just me." 

"Sir. We think Daniel... may have experienced... an inter-dimensional transfer to an... alternate reality," Sam says, trying not to grimace and doing a poor job. 

Kinsey blinks. "I beg your pardon?" 

"The moment I touched an alien artifact on '233, I was separated from the rest of the team. I was actually transported to an alternate reality where Earth was already under Goa'uld attack. I got this when I was there." Okay. He sounds like Nick, and he knows it. 

Kinsey laughs in his face. "My heaven. I've heard enough of this." 

"Senator! The Goa'uld were bombarding our cities from space. We were defenseless against their weapons." Why is this so hard to accept? Anyone else mentions the word 'threat' and the military types are always trying to spring to action, blow shit up. The scientists say the word 'threat' and are treated like retarded children. 

"Dr. Jackson, I do not suffer fools gladly." 

Daniel responds to that gauntlet thrown down. He is anything but a _fool_! "Nor do I, Senator, and I'm telling you, when we killed Ra two years ago, we set into motion a chain of events that will eventually lead to an all-out attack on Earth by the Goa'uld." 

"If this is so, why have they waited?" 

Teal'c rallies to his side. "It would take time for Apophis to assemble the necessary forces." 

Yes, Daniel thinks. "Right. Their society is feudal. It would take time to build an army. Look, all I know is the location that they're going to launch the final attack from. If you don't believe me, just let us dial in the coordinates and let us go there and find out." It's so simple! 

"How many ships, Dr. Jackson? Has anyone detected their approach?" Kinsey puts his hands on his hips.

Well, no, but... "Uh, I cannot be sure of the exact details. I mean there were... there were differences between that reality and... and this one." 

"Oh, of course there were." 

Fuck you, he thinks. He's beginning to see the good points to Jack's method of diplomacy. "I am not crazy." 

"Nor am I, Dr. Jackson. Neither am I unused to eleventh hour pleas. Though _never_ have I heard one so desperate as this." 

Jack? Why won't you back him up? Why? 

"Senator." Daniel levels him with his gaze. "They are coming." 

"Then I say, let them come." 

Finally Jack steps in. "Where do you get this bureaucratic bull? You're talking suicide!" 

Kinsey bristles. "Colonel O'Neill. You underestimate this great nation." 

"It is you who underestimate the enemy," Teal'c says, as upset and vehement as Daniel has ever seen him. "We have challenged Apophis. He will not rest until the people of this world worship him as their God." 

Kinsey explodes. "There is only _one_ God, sir. And I do not believe for one moment He will allow what you are trying to tell me to come to pass. We are after all, One Nation Under God." 

Jack stands again. "And you think _God_ is gonna save us?" 

That shuts Kinsey up. 

Teal'c presses on. "The Goa'uld believe they are Gods. And your beliefs will not dissuade them." 

"If the Goa'uld do come, then we will be able to tell them that we have buried our gate in the ground forever and will never step through it again. If they challenge us, we shall prevail." 

Daniel can think of nothing else to do. It's out of his hands; it's out of Jack's. "You are a fool." 

"And if they do not come," the senator presses on, "which I think is infinitely more likely, then at least Pandora's box will have finally been closed once and for all. Now if you will excuse me, I have business to attend to." Kinsey stares at Jack for a moment, then turns on his heel and leaves, his aides trailing behind. 

Samuels can't resist a parting shot, but Daniel doesn't even hear him. He looks to Teal'c, wondering what to say to console his friend. 

"General Hammond, I would like to request permission to return through the Stargate before it's permanently sealed." Teal'c looks about to cry. Daniel knows the feeling. "If this world does not intend to continue its struggle against the Goa'uld, then here I do not belong." 

Neither does he. He's got to find someone to help him get back Sha're and Skaara...

"I think I'm going with him," Jack says. He looks at Jack and wonders why? Is Jack saying so because he's disgusted with the military? Or because he's loyal to Teal'c? No. Daniel looks in his eyes and realizes, it's because Jack made a promise to _him_.

"I can't allow that, Colonel." Hammond shakes his head. "I'm sorry, but you know that. The president has made it perfectly clear if we were unable to convince the senator we would cease operations effective immediately." 

"Sir, there are still two SG teams off world," Sam says, horrified. 

"We'll keep the light on until they return. But that's all I'm authorized to do." Hammond looks sad. Daniel feels devastated. 

"So...what?" Jack looks like he can't quite yet accept it all. "That's it?" 

"That's it, Colonel." 

"It can't be," Sam insists. 

"With all due respect, sir, it's..." Jack tries, but Daniel just shoots right in. 

"Sir, with all due respect, the good senator is an _ass_!" 

George smiles briefly at him, agreeing. "He is an elected official of the government we are sworn to serve. Whether we agree or disagree, he's made his decision. Our Commander-in-Chief has given us our orders accordingly. I expect you all to carry them out. Dismissed." 

And just like that, Daniel can see Sha're slipping away. His reason for going on, slipping away. A heavy cover stone placed over his life. 

He looks to Jack. 

He always looks to Jack. 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

Daniel didn't know what to think anymore. Jack's journal had described at great length how frustrated Jack was with having to work for a military that got so caught up in the red tape it lost sight of the goals. Jack himself was always breaking rules and regulations, when he thought it was worth it. 

He had thought Daniel was worth it. 

Daniel took the journal into the bathroom, ran the tap, and sat on the lip of the tub. He picked up a bottle of Jack's shampoo, inhaling deeply, blushing slightly, and trying so hard not to cry. 

In time, he had learned to put Sha're behind him, make peace with just having her memory. She was a sweet, vibrant, beautiful woman and he was blessed to have known her. But he didn't think, in Jack's case, that the absence got better with time. On the contrary, things were getting worse. Daniel really could feel himself slipping away. 

He sank into the tub, and clutched the shampoo bottle and didn't move for hours. 

 

 

~*~

 


	22. Intrus Prensare de Serpens

**22\. Intrus Prensare de Serpens**

 

 

 

 

Jack talks to Hammond in his office, but there's nothing he can say that will get George to change his mind. George is a great guy to work for, very understanding, very composed. But he follows orders, whether he believes in them or not. Jack is not that type of soldier. Not anymore. Not since he met Daniel—the man who gave him options. He leaves George's office, hoping Daniel might be able to pull some of those options out of his hat this time around. 

 

 

 

 

The Stargate is shrouded in white silky fabric, and already the base feels like a tomb. 

 

 

 

 

Jack walks into the control room, noting that Daniel immediately turns to greet him. Carter and Teal'c are there as well; clearly, his kids are worried. 

"Hammond's given up. They're gonna bury the gate day after tomorrow," Jack says solemnly. 

"Then I must return through the Stargate as soon as possible," Teal'c gravely answers. 

"Yes," Daniel urges, "we _all_ should go through the gate as soon as possible." 

Carter stiffens. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, go through to where?" 

"To the coordinates I got in the other reality." 

Oh, God! "Daniel, damn it!" 

"Jack \- it was real." 

"Hey, even if it was real," Carter says, "how do we know that that address correlates with this reality?" 

Good point. 

"Well, there's only one way to find out, isn't there?" Daniel stands firm. 

"We should enter the coordinates and attempt to open the gate." God, Teal'c just can't seem to avoid backing Daniel up these days. 

"Okay, hold on." Carter looks to him. "Has anyone considered that we would be in gross violation of orders? Sir, we would be court martialed the second we got back." 

"If," he clarifies. " _If_ we got back." 

Daniel looks so pained. "Jack, if we don't go through, what I saw in the other reality could happen here. This whole planet could be wiped out. Now in the other reality, by the time I left, Sara was dead. Carter, your whole family was dead. Hell, I was dead. _Everyone_ was dead." 

"Daniel, I got it." Jesus, way to beat a dead horse! 

"Okay, well, don't you think we should see if we can stop the same slaughter from happening here?" Daniel pauses and really spears him with a long look. "Let me ask you something, Jack. If we don't go through now, and the Goa'uld do attack later, how are you gonna feel?" 

 

 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=022WithintheSerpentsGrasp.jpg)   


 

 

It hurts, disappointing Daniel. He also resents the weight of Daniel's heavy expectations. He's just one man. Daniel's asking him to forego everything he's been trained...

"How are just the four of us gonna stop the attack anyway, even if we do go through?" Carter asks. 

"Well, we'd have a lot better chance now than we would trying to stop an overwhelming onslaught later." Why is this surprising? Daniel's been flying by the seat of his pants since that first mission. "Trust me... I have _seen_ it." Daniel shoots him a look— daring Jack not to believe him. 

"If the coordinates are for a Goa'uld world which is not on the Abydos cartouche," Teal'c says, "the Goa'uld will most likely not expect us. I believe a medical attack could be successful." 

Jack stares out the window at the gate. "Surgical attack, Teal'c. It's called a surgical attack, and I'd feel like an idiot." 

"Sir?" 

He sighs. "I was answering Daniel's question. If we don't do something now, and they do attack later, I'd feel like an idiot. We go." Teal'c bows to him. "I too will go." 

Carter hesitates. He doesn't blame her. She's career military and always will be. "It's not an order, Captain." 

"I understand that, Colonel. Thank you. I'm going." 

Good girl. He's so proud of his kids. Even if they are about to follow him over a cliff like lemmings. 

 

 

 

 

"Security breached," the computer informs them. 

Daniel looks up at an overhead screen. "They just got corridor C-9 open." 

Time's up. "All right, let's go." 

Dressed in their black infiltration gear, SG-1 rushes into the gate room. They run up the ramp and go through the gate just as Hammond and Ferretti enter with troops. 

 

 

 

 

Once on the other side, Jack scans the room with his night-vision goggles. He turns on his flashlight and the others follow his lead. There is no other light, nor any sound. 

"Daniel, send back the MALP." Not only will it give their position away, it's the only way he has to communicate to George that they've made it to the other side. George will understand. 

Teal'c helps him open up some Goa'uld crates and shows them what he dubs zat guns. Suddenly a keening sound fills the air, then there's a clunk and a wicked shimmy, and they all go flying across the room with a sudden lurch. What the hell was that? 

"Everybody okay?" Daniel? Please tell me you didn't hit anything important like your head? 

"Yeah... what was that?" Daniel answers. 

"Felt like some kinda weird planetary shift," Carter says. Oh great, earthquakes. Because this day just didn't pack enough excitement. 

Teal'c looks to him. "We should dial home immediately." 

If Teal'c is scrubbing the mission, then the mission is scrubbed. "Do it, Daniel." 

Daniel shoots him another one of those looks but dials Earth and hits the center activation crystal. The DHD glyph lights go out and nothing happens at the gate. This day just keeps getting better and better. 

"Daniel?" Fix this. 

"What?" Daniel says, frustrated. "I dialed home just like I did a minute ago, just like I've done a million times before." 

"Well, do it again." 

Daniel dials again, and again nothing happens. "Uh oh." 

A door to the room begins to open. His kids take cover. 

Six Jaffa march in. Jack holds his breath because he can see that Daniel left his night- vision goggles on the floor. The Jaffa open a crate and a large metallic sphere floats out of it, bobbing over to the Stargate. The Jaffa march out, leaving the sphere suspended inside the Stargate ring. 

He lets out a breath, signaling everyone to come out of hiding. The door closes, but the lights in the room remain on. 

"I always get a happy tingly feeling when I see those guys," he says. 

Daniel retrieves his goggles and looks at the sphere. "Teal'c, what is this?" 

"It is a Goa'uld long-range visual communication device. Somewhat like your television, only much further advanced." 

"Think it gets Showtime?" Bah dum dump. And the crowd... doesn't even crack a smile. He misses Charlie. Charlie always got his humor. "Can you open that door?" 

Teal'c nods. "Now that I know its location, I believe I can." 

Teal'c twists the symbol for Apophis and it gets the door open. They move into the corridor. The doors close behind them. They hide from the Jaffa going the other way, then move out down the corridor. 

 

 

 

 

A small run in with a Jaffa teaches Jack that one shot from a zat stuns, two kills and three disintegrates. Good to know. Carter also theorizes that because they are on a ship, the point of origin for the Stargate is no longer valid, because they aren't near the planet by which the ship was stationed. That's... not good to know, but useful. Oh, and they're traveling ten times the speed of light. They're going to get a ticket from the spaceway police. 

To make matters even better, because, oh, there wasn't enough of a challenge already lined up, a huge squadron of death gliders hover in docking bays. That happy news was brought to him by Daniel, and sponsored by his suck-ass karma. Just when he thinks the plot cannot possibly thicken, his team follows a herd of Jaffa and servants to gather near the gate and hide behind some crates. They overhear Apophis introduce his son, Klorel, who just happens to inhabit Skaara at the moment. 

When everyone leaves, Jack vents his frustration. "He called him his son. That's sick!" There's no way that Skaara and Apophis could possibly be related. The thought makes him ill. There was a time when Jack could have looked at Skaara and seen something overwhelmingly alluring, but now, all he could think of was the innocent child trapped in an unending nightmare, just like Charlie was...

"Not exactly a chip off the old block," Carter mentions. 

"The Goa'uld inside Skaara is probably the son of the one inside Apophis," Daniel clarifies, like that makes Jack feel any better. 

"Thank you, Daniel, that's encouraging," he says dryly. 

Daniel shrugs and pulls his wide-eye routine. "I'm just trying to help." 

"O'Neill, what is our plan of attack?" Yes, thank you, Teal'c. Back to the matter at hand. 

"We're gonna split up. Carter, you and Daniel start planting C-4 all over this ship." 

Daniel frowns. Jack knows he doesn't like to be separated, especially not lately, but Daniel isn't well suited for what he has in mind. Too close to the fire already. 

"And what are you and Teal'c gonna do?" the younger man asks. 

"We're gonna try and grab Skaara." Jack looks at him long and hard. A promise is a promise, Daniel. 

"Sir, are you sure? It...it would be like trying to take Apophis." Yes, Carter. He's sure. He never gives an order unless he's sure. 

"They do not know we are aboard," Teal'c says, and it's nice to have Teal'c back him up on this one. "There would be little reason to keep him under heavy guard." 

"Okay, but with respect, sir, I think you're making an emotional decision here." No, see, an emotional decision would be to order her to shut the hell up. 

"Maybe," he says, "but it's also the best strategic decision." 

"Is it?" 

Daniel defends him as well, but then, Daniel would say anything to get Skaara or Sha're back. "Jack has a point. If we can capture him, maybe we can get through to the old Skaara. Kendra said that she could fight past her Goa'uld when it was still inside of her..."

To be honest, Jack was thinking of using Klorel as a human shield and bartering chip until this was all over, and then drag him back to the SGC and see if the Thor's Hammer thing couldn't be repaired... But Daniel's also right, there's still a chance to get to Skaara himself, and Jack likes having alternatives. "Let's go." 

"Sir." Carter stops him. "Contingency plan?" 

Okay, he likes that she's spunky enough to question his orders, just not right now. "C-4." He shrugs and heads out. 

 

 

 

 

Jack and Teal'c corner Skaara and hold him down. Jack tries desperately to reach him. "C'mon, Skaara, think. Try to remember me, I'm Jack O'Neill; this is Teal'c." 

"Ah, Teal'c, the traitor," Klorel says in that reverberating voice. "I will take great pleasure in delivering his head to my father." 

"He's not your father," Teal'c insists. 

"He _is_ my father. He seeded the queen mother. He chose the host in which I will live out eternity. Apophis gave me life!" 

"All right, I'm not talking to that thing in your head." Jack looks at the boy and wonders if there's any hope. He's got to try, for Skaara's sake. For Daniel. "I'm talking to Skaara." 

"Nothing of the host survives." 

"That's bullshit. Now let him talk to me!" 

"Your friend had a feeble mind. It suffered greatly and gave in easily." Klorel laughs in his face. 

Now, see, all he had to hear was that Skaara suffered greatly, and he's seeing red. He slugs Klorel right in the jaw and watches as Teal'c staggers under the force of the blow. 

The gig is already up. Outside, Jaffa are working on the control panel and trying to get the door to open. 

"C'mon Skaara. Look at me. Try!" he pleads. 

"Perhaps I will not kill you," Klorel says, eyes glowing. "Perhaps you will make a good host yourself." 

Okay, that's it. He's done playing. "All right, promise me this thing won't kill him?" he asks Teal'c. 

"Two shots will. One shot will only cause him great pain." Teal'c looks at him, and Jack knows that two shots may be in order. 

"So here's the deal. Let him out, let him talk to me, or you get the whole load," Jack threatens. 

"You will only hurt your friend." 

Really? But nothing of the host survives, right? Cock-sucker! "He's a tough kid." 

"Your friend is too afraid to come forward. He enjoys my protection. He really does _not_ wish to speak with you." Jack is excellent at reading people. Klorel can't even lie convincingly when his life depends on it. 

"Is that right? Let him go, Teal'c. Let him go." You do not play chicken with a full-bird colonel. Especially not with someone under his protection. 

Teal'c steps away. Jack fires on Klorel, who falls in pain. 

"Sha'uri! Daniel!" Skaara screams with his own voice. 

Teal'c holds Skaara while Jack kneels in front of him. "Skaara. Are you there?" 

"O'Neill! Oh, it hurts." Poor kid, he looks like hell. 

"I know, kid. I'm sorry." He'll save him, get him out of here. That's what he does. 

"O'Neill, are you still my friend?" Oh, God. Oh, God, this poor kid. Still his friend? Hell, he'd walk through fire for Skaara. 

"Yes, I am." 

"But can you forgive me for what we are about to do?" Big eyes, black as coal, stare up at him. 

"What are you about to do? Skaara! Skaara, what are you about to do?" His stomach sinks with dread. 

"Please forgive us?" Skaara murmurs. 

"Hang in there kid; c'mon, hang on! What are you about to do?" He shakes the boy, but suddenly his eyes glow and Klorel is back. 

"Jaffa! Nok kree tol!" 

Teal'c and Jack restrain Klorel. But the Jaffa get the door open and storm in. 

"Drop your weapon. Release Klorel now!" one of them commands. 

"C'mon Skaara, help us," he urges, but it's no use. 

"Release him, or we will kill the human." The Jaffa takes aim at Jack and stares at Teal'c. 

"If you kill the human I will kill Klorel." Teal'c lifts his zat to Klorel's neck. 

"And the host in which he resides?" the Jaffa challenges. 

Crap. It's a no-win situation, and he's not surprised when Teal'c lowers his zat to the floor. 

Klorel picks it up, steps behind Jack and zats him; he falls from his knees to the floor, writhing in pain and then blessedly going unconscious. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

The Jaffa escort them out, followed by Klorel. Daniel stands up from where he and Sam were crouching behind the platform. 

"Daniel, we're gonna go after them." 

Yes. Of course they were. He wasn't leaving Jack behind. But there were bigger things at stake here. He watched the entire world go up in cinders, watched everyone he loved or ever cared for die. He would go after Jack, but first, he would carry out Jack's orders. If he could just figure out how...

"Wait a minute, when are we gonna blow the ship?" 

"We'll detonate only as a last resort." 

"Listen, I wanna save them as much as you do, but if we get captured or killed, there is gonna be nobody left to blow this ship before it gets to Earth." 

"That's why I'm setting a timer," she reassures. "If we don't deactivate it in 24 hours, it'll go automatically. Okay?" 

Yes, that's good thinking. "Okay." 

God, Jack, please be okay. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Jack is awake when the Jaffa haul him and Teal'c into the pel'tac. The Goa'uld smirks at him when he says, "You wish to go home to your planet?" 

Well, sure. Why don't you just drop off us off on the way to hell, he thinks. "Of course." 

"Jaffa, krel tak remoc," Klorel says. 

A Jaffa puts his hand on a small metal ball. What is _with_ these guys and metal balls? Overcompensating much? 

"O'Neill, prepare yourself for—" The ships stops and he goes flying into a wall. He sits up, rubbing his head. "—extreme deceleration." 

Christ. "Thanks, Teal'c." 

He looks at the view screen and sees the bright tiger's eye-yellow of the rings of Saturn. "Oh my God." 

Just then, Carter and Daniel bust in. Carter sets off a smoke grenade in the corridor, drawing some Jaffa off to investigate. Then Jack can hear their MP5's take the Jaffa out. Klorel enters and grabs Daniel, whose gun skitters across the floor. Jack's heart is in his throat. Klorel then begins using the ribbon device on Daniel, who drops to his knees and grabs Klorel's arm. Jack is watching Daniel die. 

Oh God, don't do this! Don't make him do this, please! "Skaara! Skaara, don't!" he begs. Because he _will_ do it. He'll do it for Daniel. 

"O'Neill, you must take action!" Teal'c says. 

He knows, he knows! But he's just a kid! A child! "Skaara!" 

Oh God. He shoots the boy twice with Daniel's pistol. Klorel falls, and Jack is drawn to his side. 

"Daniel, you okay?" Carter asks. 

Daniel is sitting up, but is gasping and unable to answer. Jack knows he did the right thing, but it is tearing him apart. 

"O'Neill..." Skaara says faintly, hero-worship lacing his voice. 

"Ah Skaara, I'm sorry." Not that it will do any good. Not that an apology will save his soul or stop Skaara from bleeding all over the damned floor. 

Jack watches Skaara's eyes close and it's all he can do not to scream. 

"Colonel O'Neill," Teal'c says. 

"Yeah, gimme a second, here." He's trying not to come apart at the seams. 

"I cannot." 

They all look out of the view screen to see what Teal'c is referring to, Jack still kneeling by Skaara's warm, bleeding body. 

"Earth," Carter announces. 

"I thought you said we couldn't be there for at least a year?" Daniel asked. 

"I guess this ship can go way faster than ten times the speed of light." Carter grimaces. 

They all gather to stand and look at the view screen. He can barely process it. 

"Colonel," she tells him, "we saw the death gliders. They're prepping for launch, sir." 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

_What kind of cliché crap goes through your mind when you know you're gonna die? Scenes from childhood? Flashes of the wonderful moments of your life, in chronological order, with a cued soundtrack full of swelling violins?_

_I'll tell you what went through my mind. It wasn't fancy. It wasn't even poetic._

_I thought of Sara. Of Cassie. And Fraiser. George and his grandchildren. Even your fucking fish._

_I thought of all the schools, all the churches, all the hospitals—like the one in which Charlie was born, like the one in which he died._

_I thought about green parks and puppy dogs and ice cream sundaes._

_I thought about how I should have slept with you when we had the chance; how I should have pounded you into the mattress that night and then made love to you sweet and slow that morning, when the sun just came up and the world was still so quiet._

_I thought about all the hockey games I'd never again pretend to watch while you sat on the floor and pretended to work._

_I thought about all the books you'd never get to read._

_I thought about assholes like Kinsey and Samuels and Maybourne, and I thought about all the men I'd ever served with, who'd ever served under me, and all the saints and sinners in between._

_I thought about our team, trapped on that mothership. And I realized what I had to do. I looked at you, and I knew what the price would be. I knew what it would cost._

_I was sad. But not frightened. I'd gladly pay it._

_Because... we were together, either way._

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel never knew Jack thought so deeply on such matters. He always appeared to be such a simple man, but Daniel was finding out that Jack was extremely complex and full of contradictions. 

He has always felt guilty for the incident with Skaara. Truth be told, any time he was captured or attacked, he felt a great sense of guilt, because it placed his teammates in between the proverbial rock and hard place. 

If Daniel hadn't gotten himself ribboned, Jack wouldn't have to deal with the haunting nightmares about killing Skaara—and he _did_ have nightmares, for weeks, though he would never admit it. If Daniel hadn't gotten ribboned again, Teal'c wouldn't have had to shoot Sha're. If Daniel hadn't gotten kidnapped, Jack wouldn't have had to fly down to South America and save his sorry ass. If Daniel had been quicker to get to the Ancient's device, _he'd_ be in stasis, and maybe Jack would be going through _his_ journals... 

At least in stasis, he wouldn't feel so alone. 

Jack wasn't conscious, was he? He didn't feel alone, did he? The thought made Daniel's skin crawl. 

No. He was safe. In stasis. He'd be fine until they found a way to wake him up... and they would. Jack would pull out a Snow White reference and crack a grin and life would snap back to normal. Even if it took fifty years, and the next time they saw each other, they were shriveled and old and couldn't do anything about it, like Catherine and Ernest, it would still be worth it and Daniel would never give up. 

All his life, everyone gave up on Daniel. 

He just didn't know how to do that, not to someone he loved. Not to someone who might... who did... love him back. 

 

 

~*~

 


	23. Latibulum de Serpens

**23\. Latibulum de Serpens**

 

 

 

 

"Were you able to put enough C-4 around this ship to make a dent?" Jack asks Sam. 

"We placed charges where they should generate secondary explosions, so, yes sir. Should make a hell of a dent." She smiles wanly. 

"Thank you, Captain." 

"Given enough time, I might be able to figure out . . ." she tries. 

"Negative. We should expect some of their reinforcements through that door any second. Stand by to detonate your charges on my order." 

Jack is going to blow them up with the ship. Daniel is prepared for that. He's got nothing to live for that isn't already on this ship, except Sha're. If he dies and she never breaks free of the Goa'uld inside her, it will be tragic. But not as tragic as having six billion people die or become slaves. 

"Yes sir," Sam says. 

"Wait!" he calls out to Jack. 

"Daniel," Jack growls in warning, "if we don't stop them now, we may never stop them." 

Give him some credit. "Yeah, I know that." He takes a pack of C-4 from his vest and attaches it to the pel'tac. "Let's just make as big a dent as possible, okay?" 

He and Jack share a look and Jack nods solemnly. 

"Ready and awaiting your order, sir." Sam stands up straight. 

"Okay. Well, I suppose now is the time for me to say something profound..." He pauses and they all wait. "Nothing comes to mind. Let's do it." 

Daniel smiles softly. He's glad he met Jack. Never a dull moment...

"O'Neill, Apophis's ship approaches," Teal'c warns. 

Two ships with which to contend. Gotta love those impossible odds, right Jack? "We overheard in the gate room he said he would rejoin Klorel once they came out of the shadows." 

"Teal'c, if we can knock out this ship, will it stop them?" Jack asks. 

"It will not." Fuck, fuck, fuck! "Apophis's vessel is equipped with defense shields. He will still be able to destroy your cities from high above." 

Suddenly Jaffa are banging at the doors, trying to break in. 

"Tell me those C-4 charges are on automatic timer?" Jack pleads, clearly thinking they're moments away from capture. Daniel grimaces. 

"They're on automatic timer." 

Daniel can see his relief, but he knows it's short-lived. "Good. How long do we have?" 

"Twenty-four hours," Sam answers. 

"Twenty-four hours?" Jack barks. 

"At the time, sir, I thought we were still light-years away." 

The banging sounds increase. "Just a minute!" Jack calls over his shoulder. God, Daniel loves this man. Even now, he's a smartass. "Teal'c, work with me buddy, is there any other way out of here?" 

"None." 

The Jaffa start to pry the doors open. 

"Cover up!" Jack orders. "This is turning out to be a bad day," Daniel hears him mutter. 

There is a firefight with the Jaffa, and they are holding their own, until a metal ball is thrown into the room. It explodes in a bright light. Daniel and the others collapse, unconscious. 

 

 

 

 

They wake in a dark cell, huddled together 

"O'Neill?" Teal'c asks. 

"Teal'c. Ah, Teal'c. I can't see!" Jack says, voice on the edge of panic. 

"I am blinded as well. It will pass," Teal'c reassures. 

Jack growls, "What the hell was that?" 

"A Goa'uld shock grenade. Though extremely painful, its effects are temporary." 

"That's good to hear." 

Daniel can hear Jack move around and then he hears Jack cry out, "Ow – God – ow!" 

"Colonel?" Sam asks. She must have bitten him. "Sorry, sir. It's just so dark." 

"Carter, it's all right. I like your attitude." He can hear Jack's grin. 

"It isn't dark. We're blind," Daniel informs Sam. "And we failed." 

"All right, take it easy, Daniel." Jack's voice is soothing. "We've been in worse situations than this." 

"Not to my knowledge," Teal'c says. 

"Thanks, Teal'c," Jack grumbles. 

"Right now they're getting ready to wipe out the major cities of Earth." Daniel sighs. "They'll do it from orbit, out of reach." 

"Daniel..." Jack warns. 

No, see, Jack doesn't understand the horror. Daniel does, he's lived it. "Jack, I've already been through this once before. I've already seen this before." Try and comprehend how awful this is going to be? 

"Daniel, will you relax? You've been through it before and you survived. We're just having a bad day." Jack has to say that, Daniel thinks, because Jack's the leader. He's gotta have guts of iron. It _is_ heartening in a way. 

"Colonel, I think I'm starting to see something," Sam says hopefully. 

"My sight returns as well," Teal'c says. 

"Now, that's what I want to hear. Carter, if someone comes in here, you bite 'em in the hand!" 

"Yes, sir!" 

Daniel smiles in spite of himself, holding a hand up to his face. "Well, on the bright side, my hand isn't blurry any more." Always look for the bright side. 

Footsteps approach. 

A Serpent Guard looms outside the cell. Jack and Teal's position themselves either side of the door. The Serpent Guard enters and reveals himself... 

"Bra'tac?" Jack says, surprised and overjoyed. 

Bra'tac hits Jack and he collapses under the blow. 

"Fools! Ha'shak! You doom yourselves." The Jaffa master looks quite put out. "It is all I can do to keep you alive. Do you know all I have done to regain the trust of Apophis and join this campaign? Hm? Hm?" 

Teal'c is unfazed; he simply greets the old man with a smile. "Tek Mat'e, Bra'tac." 

"Hello again, old friend. Your son grows strong. One day he will be a great warrior. But you should not have come." 

"I stand by my friends," Teal'c says, looking first to Jack and then to him. "I believe this world may be our only hope in one day overcoming the false gods." 

"Yes. As pathetic as that may seem at the moment, I agree," Bra'tac says. 

"You do?" 

"I may have even been able to save this world had you not interfered," Bra'tac chastises him. 

"Hey!" Jack shouts. "What do you think we've been trying to do? It is _our_ world you're talking about here. 

"Enough, human!" Bra'tac commands. "This is not the place to talk of these things. I have been ordered by Apophis himself to execute you.... An order I intend to disregard. Come!" 

They follow Bra'tac from the cell and he informs them about Apophis and Klorel's plans. 

"I had hoped to drive a stake of mistrust between them. Now I fear they will bond against their common enemy." 

"What bond?" Jack asks. "Klorel's dead!" 

"He will rise again," Bra'tac assures. 

"The sarcophagus," Daniel murmurs. Of course. 

Jack looks both at once relieved and pissed as hell. "Wait a minute. You put him in that thing to bring him back?" 

Bra'tac grimly nods. "I knew it would delay their attack until he arose. Perhaps when the warships of your world attack..."

"Um, excuse me, did you say 'the warships of our world'?" Sam asks. 

For a moment Bra'tac looks taken aback. "Surely you have such vessels?" 

Oh crap. "Well, we have a number of... of ... 

Jack and Daniel look at each other and say, "shuttles..."

"These shuttles – they are a formidable craft?" Bra'tac asks hopefully. 

Jack sighs. "Oh yeah. Yeah. Bad day." 

 

 

 

 

Daniel smiles softly. He watches, shaking his head, as Jack and Bra'tac go all alpha-male and play one-upmanship over disabling guards and advancing down corridors. Daniel thinks he can't take Jack anywhere, and then has to stifle a ridiculous, almost hysterical giggle. They are going to die. He can sense it. 

 

 

 

 

Along the corridor they come to the control room. Jack signals the others inside and turns to say, "Daniel, watch our backs." 

Momentarily, he's proud for the honor. But he doesn't like being separated from Jack. That's just instinctual. But Jack doesn't want him in the firefight, and Daniel knows they'll do better if they don't have to worry about the civilian. Sam gives him her MP5. 

He watches Jack, Sam and Teal'c rush into the room, firing as they go. 

 

 

 

 

He waits, and things are fine for a while, but as it heats up in the control room, guards come trickling down the corridor. Daniel shoots two Jaffa with the MP5 in one hand and the pistol in the other. 

"Jack!" he calls. He can sense it...

A third Jaffa comes around the corner. He fires on Daniel, hitting him in the chest. The pain explodes all around him, blossoms out along the tendrils of his nerves. Daniel collapses, thinking he's going to die, but knowing that he has to watch Jack's back. So he pulls himself up and mows the Jaffa down. There. That's done. Safe for now. 

Jack comes out and crouches at Daniel's side, his face betraying both anger and fear. 

"Daniel! Damn it!" Jack says. 

Daniel pushes him away, tears in his eyes. "I'll be dead anyway. Just get out of here!" What does it matter? It doesn't. He died protecting Jack. It's enough. It's Jack and Daniel. It's enough. 

"I am not leaving you here, Daniel!" Jack growls fiercely. 

But if he doesn't, then everyone is fucked. "Get out of here!" He looks at Jack, knows that every fiber and nerve ending in Jack's body is screaming not to leave Daniel behind. "You're just going to blow up with the other ship anyway," he reasons. "What _difference_ does it make? Go! Just go!" Go, Jack, he pleads with his eyes. Save Earth. Then join me. "I'll stay – and watch your back." It's the best he can think to offer. 

 

 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=023TheSerpentsLiar.jpg)   


 

 

Jack gently touches Daniel's cheek, and Daniel sees it in his eyes then. God, how has he missed it, all these months? Jack O'Neill is in love with him...

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Jack feels like his heart just got blown right out of his chest, but his body stubbornly keeps working. He goes into the control room and sees the questioning looks on Teal'c and Carter's faces. 

"He's..." Don't say it. Won't say it, no way. "...staying behind." 

He won't look at either of them. It's not on the table for discussion. Do the damn job, blow the fuckers to hell, that's all he's got to think about right now. 

Bra'tac nods and leads them to the generator room. 

"The shield generators are far below," Bra'tac supplies. "There, in the very bowels of the ship. We must climb down several decks, through the length of the ship. Then, taking our weapons, we must ..." 

Jack pulls the pins on two hand-grenades and drops them into the shield generators, blowing them up. "Grenades," he says, insanely happy to have finally one-upped the old bastard. 

"This vessel is no longer protected by an energy field," Teal'c says. Jack can't help but wonder if part of this plan wasn't hatched in thanks to Lucasfilm...

"So that's it?" Carter asks. 

"That is it." 

"I think what the Captain is asking is, 'What now?'" Jack clarifies. 

"Now we die," Bra'tac says confidently. 

Um, no. See. He wasn't losing any more of his kids. Plus, Jack made a promise. He was going to save Sha're. He was going to carry on with Daniel's memory. And he was going to see the SGC did not get shut down. Only when all that was over, _then_ he was going to go home and consider eating a bullet. 

"Well, that's a bad plan. Where are the glider bays from here?" If Luke could do it...

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel decides that he can't die, not like this. He's waited long enough; Jack Sam and Teal'c must have made it to the other ship by now. He's got to live, got to find a way out of here and save Earth, save Sha're, and if Jack's gone... if Jack's gone... he'll go back to Abydos and never step through the gate again. 

Daniel crawls—pulls himself by his bloody fingernails— towards the sarcophagus. He gets in and can feel the warmth and energy engulf him. He wakes up and climbs out, slightly disoriented. He runs to check the timer on a pack of C-4. One minute fifteen seconds left. He runs out and heads for the Stargate, stopping in front of the DHD. 

"Beta Site, Beta Site," he says, desperately trying to remember the coordinates close to Earth, that were used in the alternate reality. 

Daniel dials and hits the crystal on the DHD. The gate opens and just as the time reaches one second, Daniel throws himself into the wormhole...

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

In the glider bay, Jack checks to make sure that Teal'c and Carter are safely strapped in and Bra'tac is ready to go. "Our time is up. We have got to go!" 

"Punch it," Carter says. 

The gliders fly out of the ship. 

 

 

 

 

Klorel's ship collides with Apophis'. They both explode, hurtling fire and debris into the black of space. 

The gliders are thrown away from the explosion, singed but with life-support still functional. 

"Bra'tac? Bra'tac? You okay?" Jack asks. 

"Not bad, for an old man," the old man brags. 

"Colonel? Come in." Carter. Good old Carter. 

"We're okay, Captain." 

"Same here, sir. But I don't think we bought ourselves much time. Our glider's had it." 

"I concur." Teal'c, good old Teal'c. 

"We got cooked pretty bad in the explosion." 

Yeah, they did too. Doesn't matter. They saved Earth. Daniel's gone... soon they would be too... but they did it. 

"Captain?" 

"We're low on power and in a fairly low orbit, so I don't imagine it will be too much longer before we burn up in Earth's atmosphere," she continues. 

"Captain, take a look up." 

Above them, the blue, white and green Earth swirls and spins above them, the most gorgeous thing Jack has ever seen. 

"It's beautiful," she says. 

"Yes it is." Daniel...

"We saved it, sir." 

"Yes, we did." Daniel.... Daniel...

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel exits the wormhole and trips into the embarkation room. He did it. He did it. Where's Jack? 

"Dr Jackson!" the general says, delighted but also coming out of his skin. "Was SG-1 aboard one of those ships?" 

"Er, yes." 

"Well, well how did you get ...?"

Daniel took a deep breath. "There was a Stargate aboard the ship we were on. So, once I realized we were close enough to use Earth as a point of origin, I dialed P3X-984." 

Hammond frowns. "The Alpha Site?" 

"Yes," Daniel smiles. "Well, they called it the Beta Site in the alternate reality, but..."

"Where's the rest of SG-1?" Hammond presses. 

Daniel's face falls. No... no...

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

They drift along in space. Jack is strangely at peace. He's sorry it has to go down this way, but as long as Daniel's gone... It's funny. It doesn't _feel_ like Daniel's gone...

"It's going to be a beautiful sunset, sir." 

"You know, Captain, this wasn't such a bad day after all." 

"Not bad at all," she agrees. 

"We die well, Teal'c," Bra'tac says. Jack blinks back suspicious mist behind his eyes. Teal'c is one of the strongest most courageous men he's ever had the honor of serving with...

"More than that, old friend – we die free!" 

"Or not ..." he says with a grin. 

The Shuttle Endeavor comes into view. 

They did it! They did it....

 

 

Daniel....

 

 

 

 

Once back at the base, everyone is eager to offer their congratulations to his team and to Bra'tac. 

Bra'tac grasps Jack's arms in farewell, before turning to Teal'c. He touches Teal'c's face. Jack briefly thinks about the warrior bond Teal'c once explained existed on Chulak, and he smiles. Yeah... It just fit. 

"This way, sir," an airman says to the old master. "We want to ask a few questions before you leave." 

Jack turns to Hammond and says, "Not bad at all." 

George is smiling at him. Smiling like he's the cat that's got the canary. "SG-1? There's someone who'd like to see you." 

Jack frowns, looking around. Did the president stop by to say thanks or something? 

The crowd parts, and Jack sees him. Better than the president. Better than seeing the face of God. 

Daniel pushes past some marines and makes his way to stand before Jack. 

"Daniel!" Carter shouts with joy. 

Grinning, splitting, aching.... surprised and yet not surprised at all... Jack pulls Daniel into a fierce bear-hug, right there in front of everyone on base. Daniel's practically glowing, his smile is 200 watts and getting brighter. 

"Space monkey! Yeah!" he whispers, pulling Daniel in tight, pressing a kiss to his shoulder—a kiss, right there, in front of the entire SGC, in front of the whole world— because they'd saved it, it was their world, and nothing else mattered now that Daniel was back in his arms. 

 

 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=023TheSertpentsLiar-Hug.jpg)   


 

 

Jack steps back and holds Daniel's shoulders as Daniel returns his smile. He looks into the younger man's eyes and sees it for the first time. How many months, and he'd never noticed it? Daniel Jackson was in love with him....

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

_You have no idea what it was like for me, to get you back that day. I held you and held you and didn't let go for a second, Daniel. You remember how I rocked into you and I still wouldn't let go? _

_God, I'd give anything for another night like that one._

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel remembered. Quite well. The bath had refreshed him, and now he lay in their bed—in the bed where he'd first lost his virginity to another man. To Jack. 

He pressed his face into the pillow, glided his hands down his body, and _remembered_....

 

 

 

~*~

 


	24. Simpatico

**24\. Simpatico**

 

 

 

 

Jack pushed Daniel past everyone on base, buying everyone off by saying they'd have a party tomorrow, but right now he wanted to go home. Daniel felt Jack's warm hand on the small of his back and he _knew_.

 

 

 

 

They drove home at break-neck speed, not saying a word. The radio was silent. 

 

 

 

 

Jack kicked the door closed behind him and reached for Daniel, crushed him close and mashed their mouths together. It was good, so good. Daniel was warm and insistent and molding himself around Jack. He leaned back against the door, dragging Daniel with him, their arms going around each other, feverish, not even trying to pretend anymore... 

He let his hands wander, cupping the back of Daniel's head, his neck, massaging up and down his back, pulling tighter, needing to be closer, and all the while Daniel was kissing him like there was no tomorrow, pressing, delving, possessing his mouth with equal force. 

Jack spun them around and pushed Daniel up against the door, gripped his forearms up on either side of Daniel's head and then _slid_ his body up and down Daniel's. 

"Mmm..." Daniel moaned, the sexiest thing Jack had ever heard. 

"Want you," Jack whispered, licking Daniel's lips. 

 

 

 

 

Jack was all over him, mauling him, grinding and pressing up against him. An unstoppable force. But Daniel was hungry, too. He raked his nails over Jack's scalp, tasted him deeply, loving the way their chests mashed together, and then Jack seized his wrists and pinned him to the door, and Daniel had never been so turned on in his life! He moaned, stroking Jack's tongue inside his mouth, inviting Jack to do anything he liked, anything... so long as it was more, faster, harder... Oh, God...

The older man pulled down his shirt collar, licking and nipping at his neck. He threw his head back and let Jack have at him, exposing his throat in a show of submission. Jack growled and _sucked_ his neck, hard. "Jack..." he panted. 

 

 

 

 

He let go of Daniel's hands, missing the way Daniel clung to him, and instead he took hold of Daniel's hips and held them still while he ground his pelvis forward. Ah.... Oh, yeah.... Daniel's nails were raking him again; sharp little fingernails zinging along his nerves. Daniel circled his hips, enticing him. Groaning, he spun Daniel around and pressed him up against the door, then jabbed his stiff prick against the swell of Daniel's ass. 

Daniel keened and pushed back, slapping the door, eager, so damned eager... this was gonna be over too quickly...

"No. No..." he choked out, stilling, trapping Daniel against the door with all his weight. "No, Daniel. Not like this." 

 

 

 

 

Jack was stopping them. He was going to scream! They'd waited too long, too long already; none of it mattered anymore. Why? Why? "Not like this?" 

"Slow..." Jack said, licking the back of his neck, humping gently against him. "Want to take you slow..."

Daniel panted and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't think he could do slow. His dick was ready to burst right now. "Slow..." he said breathily, canting his hips back, teasing Jack mercilessly. 

Jack whined and pressed his forehead to Daniel's shoulder, and Daniel loved having this much power over him. Then again, Jack still had him in his sway, disarming him by saying things like, "We should do this right. Like proper lovers." 

Like... proper... Daniel turned around to face him. 

"Bed," Jack explained, grinning, kissing him softly. 

Daniel gulped. "Okay." 

 

 

 

 

His wicked linguist looked a little dazed. Dazed and edible. Jack couldn't keep from snatching that pouty lower lip between his teeth at every opportunity. He kissed Daniel, a thousand different kinds of kisses, backing them down the hall, Daniel following blindly, kissing him back. Daniel loved kissing. Jack loved kissing Daniel. 

He wound them into the kitchen towards the sink. 

"Ah, Jack?" Daniel said between pants and moans while Jack worked on his earlobe. "This isn't where we keep the bed." 

"Mm," he agreed, backing Daniel up against the counter. 

"You have... oh, God," Daniel gasped, writhing against him, "you have a sink fetish, or something?" 

Jack smirked. "Just trying to cool us down." He reached behind Daniel. "Besides, I owe you a promise, Daniel." 

He looked into Daniel's drugged eyes, blue, so damned blue—a Pacific ocean churning in there—and he tenderly kissed Daniel's forehead....

Then he took the spray-hose and let loose, right on Daniel's crotch. 

 

 

 

 

Cold! Cold, cold water! Daniel gasped and jerked, his eyes popping out of his head as Jack gleefully doused the front of his jeans with water. 

"You fucker!" he screamed, laughing, punching Jack on the shoulder. 

"Pay back's a bitch, huh?" Jack said with a shit-eating grin. 

"Oh, that's _it_!" Daniel hauled Jack up and pinned him close, grabbing the hose and squirting Jack's chest, face, hair...

Jack turned on the tap behind him and cupped a handful of water and slapped the back of Daniel's head. He shrieked. 

They got each other horribly wet and were laughing so hard in between kisses... Daniel had never felt so damned relaxed and happy as he had in that moment—dripping wet and trading kisses and blows with Jack. 

He had never been so happy in his life...

He stilled, bringing Jack's face close to his, brushing his tongue gently over Jack's lips. "I want you, Jack," he whispered low. 

Jack stilled, his eyes swirling with lust, and he seized Daniel's mouth. 

 

 

 

 

He pulled Daniel along with him, walking backwards to the bedroom. The house was dark but there was still light outside, streaming through the windows in warm waves. He kissed Daniel and _kissed_ Daniel, unable to get enough of that lush mouth. 

They reached the bed and Jack spread his hands over Daniel's wet shirt, watched Daniel's breathing hitch as he palmed Daniel's pectorals, his abdominals. Slowly, using both hands, he slid Daniel's soaked garment up over his head, and then trailed his fingertips across the smooth planes of skin... so perfect. 

Daniel closed his eyes and tipped his head back, straining forward like a bow, eager to be touched, to be claimed. Jack lowered his head and lapped at a nipple, smiling when Daniel gave a shy laugh. Then Daniel's hands were on him, peeling him out of his shirt, groping his hard muscles with wonder, smoothing delicate fingers over him, as if he were some priceless artifact. 

"I may be old," he said quietly, "but I won't break." 

Daniel smiled. "I feel like I'm in a dream..."

He kissed Daniel, holding him flushed against his own trembling body, and fell back onto the bed, letting Daniel sprawl over him. He'd waited so long for this... wanted Daniel so badly...

 

 

 

 

Resting his weight on his hands, Daniel hovered over Jack. The man stared up at him with such trust and affection—it made his stomach burn. It made his dick twitch. He rubbed their cheeks together, smiling at the thought of razor burn and not caring in the least, lowering his weight a bit, and grinding down. 

Jack moaned and pulled him closer, so Daniel rested on his forearm and trailed his right hand down Jack's side, exploring, sneaking over to the front of his jeans, flattening his palm over Jack's hardness. The older man's hips came off the bed and his head flew back, his hand gripping Daniel's wrist and pressing down. Daniel rubbed up and down, shaping Jack's heat against the rough, wet denim. 

"Daniel..." Jack said hoarsely, opening his legs. 

Taking that as permission, Daniel unbuttoned Jack's fly and sneaked his hand inside, over the boxers, cupping Jack's straining cock. 

"Ah, God..." Jack swore, rolling Daniel over and humping into his hand. Jack kissed him—kissed him hard, his own hands going to Daniel's fly and returning the favor. 

It felt so good to be freed....

 

 

 

 

The pungent odor of Daniel's sex made Jack salivate. Daniel was hard, leaking, desperate for him and that fact made Jack so horny he could see spots dance at the edge of his vision. He pushed his jeans down, watching as Daniel followed his lead and wiggled the top of his pants over those slim hips, and then he covered Daniel, dragging their slick cocks against one another as he rubbed the length of his body over Daniel's. Daniel's hands came up then, tangling in his hair, splaying across his shoulder, and it was awesome. 

But not enough. 

Jack stood up, and Daniel automatically sat up to go with him, which made Jack smile. He smoothed his jeans down over his legs and stepped out of them. Then he swallowed and took off his boxers. He stood there, naked before Daniel and suddenly... nervous. 

Daniel stared, and for a moment, Jack worried he'd been scared off, but then Daniel leaned forward and tentatively licked the head of his penis. "Christ..." Jack bit off. 

The younger man looked up at him and scooted to the edge of the bed, his fingers wrapping over the bumps of Jack's hips, his mouth pressing tiny kisses to Jack's hardness. Jack gripped a handful of Daniel's hair and held his dick still, letting Daniel lick and lave and play with it to his heart's content. He squeezed his ass muscles together and _willed_ himself not to come from just this. 

"Daniel..." he warned. 

 

 

 

 

Daniel pulled back, amazed at how easy that was—having another man's dick in his mouth. It was kinda familiar and yet totally foreign. He knew what he liked, but he still had so much to learn about what Jack wanted. They had time. Jack said they'd go slow. 

He spread back out on the bed and shucked off his jeans and boxers, suddenly feeling very exposed and very shy. Looking up at Jack, though, one might think he was beautiful, based on the way the older man was staring. 

"Jack?" 

"Jesus, you're gorgeous," Jack breathed. 

Daniel laid back on the bed and waited. Eventually Jack got with the program and joined him, covering him, their mouths connecting once more. That first feel of skin, sliding over warm, tanned skin, was electric. Sparking. Daniel ran his hands up and down over Jack's ass, loving the feel of the firm muscle. He loved the hair on Jack's chest as it tickled his abdomen, teased his own smooth skin. He loved the way Jack paid particular attention to his hot spots—his neck, his ear—as if operating on instinct. 

He moaned and opened his legs, inviting Jack to settle in the cradle of his hips. It was slightly odd, the pulse of another cock against his own, but it was Jack, and it was right. Jack set up an agonizingly slow, steady rhythm, eventually taking them both in hand and _stroking_.

"Oh, God..." He dug his nails into Jack's back. 

"Show me," Jack commanded with a whisper. "Show me what you like?" 

Blinking, Daniel realized what he was asking. He nodded and sneaked a hand between them, his fingers overlapping Jack's, and then tugging, somewhat roughly, on the skin at the apex of his penis, rubbing the edge of the head with sure strokes. Jack watched, his eyes flickering between Daniel's hand and Daniel's face, with an expression of wonder. Daniel bit his lip, spread his thighs and gave himself up to it, massaging his balls, showing Jack exactly how he liked to be touched, exactly how rough and raw he needed it, jerking the skin over the head of his dick and groaning low in his throat. 

Jack dragged Daniel's hands away, and Daniel just lay there, panting, wanting so badly to come, and yet not wanting this to be over, ever. 

 

 

 

 

Daniel Jackson was the most amazing lover Jack had ever had. At once both shy and open, wanton and yet somehow... innocent... about it... He watched Daniel masturbate and had to bite his cheek to keep from swallowing the man whole. He'd never gone down on a man willingly before. Not until now...

Sinking down the bed and insinuating himself between Daniel's knees, Jack gave Daniel's length an experimental taste. Immediately Daniel whined, throwing an arm over his eyes and lifting his hips off the bed. That was encouraging. He continued, laving the entire prick, then swirling his tongue around the head. 

Daniel started moaning and groaning constantly; he was so hot, Jack was tempted just to suck him off right there simply to see how loud he could get. But he had bigger plans. He took the head in, brushing it against the flat of his tongue, and jerked the skin just as Daniel had showed him. The voice in which Daniel said, "Fuck yes, Jack, do me!" had Jack's own cock dripping. 

He sat up, catching his breath, looking into Daniel's slitting eyes. "Is that what you want?" 

 

 

 

 

He watched Jack ask softly, "You want me to fuck you, Daniel?" 

The words made him shiver—he couldn't stop shaking—even as he nodded and bit his lip. That's exactly what he wanted. He wanted Jack. 

"Yeah," he whispered, smoothing his hand up and down Jack's arm. "I want you to do it, Jack. Do it to me..."

Brown eyes boiled as Jack's mouth dropped open. "Danny, it hurts..." Jack said, backing off. 

He reached up and grabbed Jack's shoulders, bringing him down for a hot kiss. Around their kiss, Daniel whispered, "Want it, Jack. Need it. Fuck me. Fuck me, _please_!" Jack groaned and Daniel smiled as the older man kissed him, smiled at his victory... at finding Jack's Achilles' heel. "Jack. I'm _ordering_ you to turn me over, spread my legs and fuck me until I'm so full of your come, I can't sit down for days!" 

Jack buried his face in Daniel's shoulders and sobbed. "Okay... okay..." so ragged, like he was losing a fight with himself, but Daniel needed it and he knew Jack wanted it. He pet Jack's hair and then pulled away slightly. 

"Do you have anything?" he asked softly. 

Jack frowned. "Condoms?" 

He shook his head. "We get blood work done every week, I'm not worried. I meant... uh... we'll need... won't we?" 

Jack smiled. "Lube?" 

"Ah, yeah." 

"Been doing some reading at The New Leaf, have we? What will Mrs. Welsh think?" 

Daniel slapped Jack's back. "Don't be an ass.... But yes, I did do some... ah, reading..." Daniel blushed but Jack was smiling at him, nipping at him, and it was Jack, so he could just let it all hang out and be blunt. "I've never done this before and I'll need you to slick me up..."

"Oh," Jack moaned into Daniel's ear. "Yeah. Hang on." Jack got off the bed. "Don't go anywhere." 

He padded to the bathroom and returned with a jar of Vaseline. 

 

 

 

 

"It's cliché but will it do?" Jack said, a little nervous. 

Daniel nodded, God bless him, and turned over. 

Jack put the jar on the nightstand and crawled in, spooning up behind Daniel. "Hey. You know you don't have to do this, right? I'd be happy... I'm happy now." Jack wove his fingers through Daniel's hair and watched the other man peer coyly at him from under thick lashes. 

"I know, Jack. I... really want you to..." Daniel blushed even more but held his gaze. It couldn't be easy, asking another guy to fuck him... but it's exactly what they both wanted so...

"Okay. Turn all the way over." Jack eased a pillow under Daniel's hips and then pressed playful little kisses all over Daniel's perfect ass. He couldn't believe he was really going to do this, but hell, after everything, after thinking Daniel was well and truly dead, after having to face the world without him, he couldn't believe it had taken them this long. 

This long... to finally get on the same wavelength. 

He warmed some jelly between his fingers and parted Daniel's globes, tracing a thumb over Daniel's puckered entrance. "You sure you want this?" He had to ask again, because he could never, ever live with himself if Daniel came out of this feeling like he had after Iraq. 

"Fuck me, Jack," Daniel whispered hotly. 

Closing his eyes, Jack slowly inserted his forefinger. 

 

 

 

 

At first it felt no different than one of the numerous rectal exams he'd been subjected to at the infirmary. But Jack had taken the trouble to warm up the Vaseline and to move in and out slowly, all the while peppering his ass and back with kisses and whispered words of encouragement. By the time he worked in two fingers and started using a scissoring motion, it felt good. Granted, it still hurt; he was a virgin and took a long time to stretch. His erection faded a bit, but he didn't want to give up. 

Jack took his sweet time, though. Long minutes ticked by and Jack was still working into him, stretching him wide enough to take three fingers with ease. He moaned and lifted his hips a little, hoping for a better angle, and then Jack crooked a finger and found his little nub of pleasure—the book's words, not his, and Daniel's breathing stuttered. 

His hips canted back and he growled, "Oh, yes..." and so Jack kept sliding his fingers in and out, over that spot again and again. 

"Feels good?" Jack asked, trying to mask his worry. 

"Hmmm," Daniel said, rolling his hips in circles. He looked over his shoulder and whispered, "Come on. Do it." 

 

 

 

 

Jack watched as Daniel glanced over his shoulder and commanded Jack to fuck him. Oh, God. He could do this... this was _Daniel_...

He brought Daniel up on his hands and knees and positioned his cock at Daniel's slick hole. "Daniel," he said softly, tenderly, easing just the head in. He was stretching Daniel, pushing past that tight ring, and Daniel leaned forward, his head dropping down to his forearms with a groan, so Jack held still and waited. Then he pushed in a little more. 

Eventually he was all the way in and they were connected—it was amazing—hotter and tighter and better than any woman ever could be—and Daniel sobbed his name and circled his hips, so when Jack was finally convinced the younger man was ready, he took up a steady rhythm. 

Draping himself over Daniel's back, Jack licked and kissed Daniel's neck and ear, starting with just shallow thrusts. The _sounds_ Daniel made were so hot and so needy. Daniel lowered his shoulders to the mattress and let Jack have at his ass—so Jack increased the tempo and really pushed in deep. 

 

 

 

"God, yeah!" Daniel cried into the pillow. Writhing. The man was writhing, rubbing himself against the sheets, pushing back against Jack, squeezing his ass muscles around Jack's throbbing prick. 

He held Daniel's hips still and started drilling into him, mindful that it was Daniel's first time, but also knowing that Daniel liked things a little bit rough. Putting a hand on either side of Daniel's head, he used his power and strength to satisfy Daniel, never to hurt. Daniel leaned over and drew Jack's thumb into his mouth, bobbing on it, mimicking Jack's blowjob, all the while making greedy little sucking noises. 

"Oh fuck," he hissed, pushing Daniel all the way down to the bed and drilling into his tight ass. "Fuck, Daniel..."

 

 

 

 

"Mmm," he murmured. Jack was really going at him now, not holding back. The bed shook with the force of his thrusts, and Jack thrust _deeply_ , burning and battering his way inside Daniel, and he loved it. Loved it. Sex had never been this good, this raw and messy and totally perfect, perfectly in line, in synch, simpatico. 

He drew a leg up and turned slightly on his side, looking over to see Jack, to watch Jack rock over him, their eyes searching each other's faces. Jack petted his hair back off his forehead with a shaking hand, smiling gently at him. "Danny..." he whispered. 

Had to close his eyes, didn't want the tears. Too perfect. So good. Jack rotated to the side as well, spooning behind him, lifting Daniel's leg up closer to his chest and then pounding into him with rapid, minute stabs. 

Daniel wrenched his head back and howled when Jack's hand came around and jerked him harshly, fist flying up and down Daniel's rigid shaft, squeezing, teasing, oh God. "Jack! Jack..."

"Come, Daniel. All over my hand, do it!" Jack whispered fiercely, working his dick while nailing his ass. 

Too much, it was too much, and he was coming, ribbons of lust shooting out of him, ropes of come spilling out of his cock, bubbling over Jack's hand, arcing into the air. He clenched his ass and cried out. 

 

 

 

 

Jack watched Daniel come—the most amazing sight ever, even more beautiful than seeing Earth from space—and then Daniel's snug channel gripped him, and he fucked so hard and fast he worried the bed might break, and then he was coming in Daniel's ass, shooting hot sticky semen into Daniel's hole. Jack came so hard and so much that some of his come was already dribbling out and down Daniel's trembling thighs before he even finished. 

Jack held the younger man, held him _so tight_ , never gonna let him go, wanting him, wanting him still, after all that, needing him, needing to tell him...

"You all right, Daniel? You hurt?" 

Daniel panted, eyes screwed shut, lip bloody and shaking. "Yeah... yeah, Jack..." Ragged, sex-sated voice. He turned around in Jack's arms and looked him straight in the eye. "I'm... it was good, Jack, so good..."

He smiled then, relaxing, now that he knew Daniel was okay. "Yeah, it was..."

Daniel kissed him, lazy and sweet and sloppy. Jack just pulled him tighter, not giving a shit about the wet spot or the smell of come or sweat making their bodies slick and sticky. He had Daniel. His whole damn life must have been leading up to this point. It could never get any better than this. Ever. 

"Daniel," he said reverently, rubbing Daniel's bangs between two fingers. "You're amazing." 

The younger man smiled, one of those genuine smiles that made Jack's toes curl, and laughed softly. "Not so bad yourself. For a flyboy..."

"All for your satisfaction." Jack quirked an eyebrow. "Full-throttle thrust?" 

Daniel tried not to laugh, he really did, but that only made it brim over until they both were chuckling so hard the bed shook again. Jack kissed Daniel, over and over, and sighed happily when Daniel's arms wound around his neck. 

Say it, he thought. Tell him. 

But Daniel's eyes were closing, his lids getting droopy. They were still shaking from the aftereffects of their orgasms, so Jack covered them with the blanket and just held onto Daniel for dear life. 

"Jack," Daniel said so softly, voice full of worship and pleasure, before he nodded off to sleep. 

There would be plenty of time to say everything later. Jack would wake Daniel tomorrow with sweet and slow sex, then he'd drag him to the shower where he'd tease Daniel until the younger man went wild, and then he'd take Daniel back to bed so they could fuck like rabid minks. 

And there would be time for all the rest later, because they were finally, finally on the same page. 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Daniel came down from his shuddering orgasm with a sense of bliss, because he could remember their first time with such crystal clarity, and it was almost like having Jack in the room. He panted and blinked the tears down his cheeks, stifling a sob. 

They could have that again. In time...

He wiped his hands on the sheet and looked around, realizing it was late morning. He got out of bed and searched for some clothes, moving Jack's journal to get to his pants. And then he saw it. The next page, where Jack had scratched something out with a shaking hand...

~*~

 

 

 

_Daniel, I love you._

 

 

~*~

 

 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=Simpatico.jpg)  
Thanks to Thalassa for this beautiful banner! 

 


	25. Intra Acies de Officium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dua Arch: Bolero
> 
> _Bolero — A dance of passion invented in 18th century Spain. A piece of music by Maurice Ravel, penned in 1928, famous for its endlessly repeating refrain, which goes up and down the scales, eventually accelerating in intensity until a vibrant, climactic finish._

**25\. Intra Acies de Officium**

 

 

 

 

 

It was awkward, of course. The next morning. Tangled together – limbs, sheets, thoughts – all very messy. Jack woke first, naturally. He always did. Found himself at a crossroads, an odd sort of split right down the center – concerning how he'd like things to play out. 

On the one hand, he'd like nothing more than for that bleary-eyed archeologist to roll over, smile shyly, and kiss him senseless. They could have a morning of lazy sex, take a shower together, and let this newfound intimacy go where it would. 

On the other hand, this was _Daniel_. Nothing could ever be so simple. The younger man would wake up, realization would sink in, Jack could just see it now – _oh, God, they slept together_ – and then the guilt. Oh, there'd be guilt. Daniel loved Sha're and while he'd probably never lose his self-composure enough to freak out in front of Jack, the guilt would plague him for days. Weeks. Hell, this was Daniel: years. 

Which made it clear that this was a one-off. 

A ‘saved the world and slept together' one-time-only deal. Which was good. Because Jack wasn't gay; not really. Not really _really_. He didn't lust after other men, he'd never enjoy getting fucked, and he'd come to accept that fucking Daniel was a special case — that Daniel had a way of getting under skin, over walls, through bullshit. In terms of sex, Daniel wasn't like a _man_ , Daniel was Daniel – a creature all his own. Right? 

Erm…. 

And so they had had sex. Messy, hot, earth-shattering sex. Just that once. 

And Jack could live with that. It's not like he was looking for hearts and flowers, matching towels, and a registry. He had no desire to, say, adopt a pair of beagles and foster children. No. But still, it was nice waking up with Danny boy sprawled over him, Daniel's scent all around him, Daniel wanting him, Daniel…. 

Well, crap. 

Daniel was awake. Blue eyes peering through long lashes…. 

"Hey," Jack said, his voice huskier than he'd intended. He was tired. In that bones-melted good sort of way. 

"Hey." Daniel blinked. 

Jack waited. Three, two, one. There it was. Those pupils dilated right on cue. He sighed. "Before you freak out —" 

"I'm not going to freak out," Daniel said, sounding a tad offended. He shifted away from Jack and attempted to focus. 

"You're not?" 

"It's too early in the morning to freak out. Check back with me around lunch and I'll have my mid-life, sexual identity crisis then." 

Jack smiled. Okay, this was going to be easier than he thought. Reaching over, he ran his palm down Daniel's arm and smiled. 

Daniel stiffened _ever_ so slightly. 

Okay. Not so easy. 

"Jack. I —" 

Shook his head. So not in the mood for this talk. "Use the shower first. I'll make a light breakfast. Got to save room for the party." 

"Wha —?" 

"The ‘we saved the world' party the General is throwing SG-1? Go, get cleaned up." He left the implication that Daniel was in dire need of a shower hanging in the air. Watched as the younger man looked down at himself, took in the dried come and sweat and _blushed_ a furious red. Jack had to bite his lip to avoid saying ‘I look good on you' or something equally stupid. 

"Right. Thanks." Daniel didn't look at him on the way to the bathroom. Hid in the shower for a good twenty minutes more than necessary. Barely made eye-contact over their bowls of cereal. 

By the time Daniel drained his glass of orange juice, his whole body was wound tighter than a watch. Which was ironic, because the younger man almost never remembered to wear a watch. Well that was an entirely off-topic thought. 

Jack didn't know what to do or say; relationship-management was hardly his area of expertise. However, he had been pretty good at managing Daniel, thus far. 

"Daniel," he ground out softly enough to draw the man's gaze. Blue, blue eyes. Crap. "It's going to be okay." 

Daniel cocked his head. "It's really not okay, Jack." 

"I know that." He nodded. "I said, it _will_ be." 

For a long time Daniel stared at him, weighing the odds. Then he gave a curt nod. "Okay." 

"Okay." Jack drove them in without a word. Daniel fiddled with the radio, so there was hope at least. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

George knew the second they walked through the door. He could see the tension oozing out of every pore of their bodies – Jack's concern for Daniel, Daniel's ever-inward spiral of thought – although outwardly they behaved no differently at the celebratory breakfast than they had on any other morning. 

It's not like Jack would cut Dr. Jackson's food, or Daniel would start playing footsie with Colonel O'Neill under the table. But George had had his suspicions about them since 1969. This morning, those suspicions were confirmed. 

Despite the awkwardness, there was a glow about Dr. Jackson. An honest-to-heavens _glow_. His face looked a little red from razor burn and George politely didn't notice how carefully the young man sat in his chair. 

This was going to be an awful mess, he could tell. He just hoped it was worth it. One thing he was sure of: the rules just did not apply to the dynamics of SG-1. 

He watched Dr. Jackson smile weakly across the table at the colonel, watched them glance at each other throughout the entire meal, all the speeches, every toast. Neither of them had heard a word. 

Best to get them back in the swing of things before they both fell apart. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Their next mission is on a cushy little beachfront world called Nasya. No one expects to walk into a full-scale Goa'uld attack. Death gliders sweep over the sky — rising, twisting, hurtling through the air – raining laser blasts down on the innocent people below. 

Daniel watches Sam drop to her knees next to an injured man. Jack rushes past her, cradling a child in his arms. Daniel's heart pounds. 

"Let's go, Captain.... Those gliders are coming back around!" Jack yells over his shoulder. 

"This man's alive!" Sam insists. 

Jack barks, "We. Can. Not. Wait!" 

Another glider fires, swooping past the Stargate. Daniel stands on the stairs next to the event horizon, ducking to protect himself from the attack. When the glider passes, he stands again and waves the remaining Nasyans forward. 

"Okay, come on, come on." He looks around for Jack. "Don't panic; we'll have you out of here in a minute." There Jack is; he's coming. 

Smoke rising. Homes on fire. It's utter chaos, and there is Jack, rising like a phoenix, in total control. 

"Teal'c," Jack calls, handing the small child over. "I gotta go back for Carter." He turns on his heel and runs back to the beach. 

Daniel knows it is Jack's job to bring home his team, but right now, he resents Sam a little bit. They're taking heavy fire. She shouldn't hold her team up like this. 

But what does that matter when there are lives to save? He sighs. If they're gonna stay, might as well make the most of it. 

He hurries away from the gate to where two villagers sprawl on the ground. One man is badly burned and unconscious as Daniel checks his pulse. "Go, go, I got him," he says to the other villager. "Medic…! He's alive, but I think he's gonna wish he wasn't. Let's get him outta here." The medic helps carry the man away. 

Behind him, Daniel can see Sam still doing chest compressions on the same fallen man. 

Daniel watches Jack rush over to her. "Carter! We've got to go! You all right?" 

"Yeah." 

"Let's get him outta here, come on." Jack starts to pick up the man but she stops him. 

"Dead! Had some kind of seizure. Bit his own tongue," she says. 

Once he can see they are running to the Stargate, Daniel goes on through. God knows they've talked about this enough times for Daniel to know better than to wait on Jack in a situation like this. 

The embarkation room has turned into an emergency triage. Medical staff scurry about, rushing toward the victims that they must save then and there, transporting others to the infirmary. 

Hammond barges in. "I want a full medical quarantine until these people can be examined." He walks expectantly up to Daniel, scowl fixed. "Colonel O'Neill and the rest?" 

Daniel takes off his glasses and rubs grit from his eyes. "Right behind me… and a dozen Jaffa right behind them." 

Blinking, certain images come to mind. Jack's hand cupping his face. Jack's smile while calling him space monkey. Licking the sweat off of Jack's neck as he…. Crap. This isn't a good time for a mid-life, sexual identity crisis. 

Jack, Sam, and Teal'c come through the gate, Sam leaning heavily on the big guy. Daniel is relieved. The iris closes. He shares a look with Jack — they made it. And they need to talk. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

 

Jack sits in the briefing room, having showered, shaved, and done his best not to notice Daniel in the locker room. He's tired and wants to go home; he needs to have it out with Daniel and get past the awkwardness, but this hasn't exactly been the routine treaty-signing mission they were expecting, and so here they are, being briefed _again_. 

Daniel passes out folders — his report from earlier that morning. 

"It's not normal for the Goa'ulds to suddenly just show up and wipe out peaceful people for no apparent reason, is it?" the general asks. 

"In the past there was usually some reason," Daniel agrees. "Most often they seem to attack civilizations that are advancing to a point where their technology could be a threat… but that wasn't the case here." 

Jack frowns. "Maybe they found out we were there?" 

Daniel's doing that pouting thing. Jack loves and hates the pouting thing. He loves it when they are alone and he can lick and bite and nibble on that full lower lip. He hates it now, in the briefing room, when he can do nothing about it but hide his erection under the table and pretend to listen to whatever is being said. 

"Well, how could they know?" Daniel asks. "Or more importantly, why did this particular Goa'uld _care_?" 

Yes, right, say something, something intelligent, do _not_ think about the sexy way Daniel pouted and moaned as he drilled into the man's pert ass. God, this denial thing isn't working. "They might have been a little concerned because we just kicked the crap out of Apophis." 

Pout _and_ frown! Daniel was _killing_ him here! Pretending the attraction was a one-off is just… ludicrous. "Well, the truth is we still understand very little about their society." 

"I have seen the Goa'uld wipe out entire civilizations for no reason, simply because it gave them pleasure," Teal'c supplies. 

Nice, Jack thinks. 

"So what, Nasya was just next on the list?" Daniel rolls his eyes — something he learned from Jack. They were starting to adopt each other's mannerisms. 

Jack looks around the table, worrying that someone else might notice. 

"Part of me wishes it was that simple, but I don't want to underestimate them." Blue, blue eyes and lids at half-mast. Daniel's more upset about this attack than he's letting on. Probably reminds him of Abydos…. 

Carter coldly says, "Maybe their reasons just weren't made apparent to you, Teal'c. I mean, you are just a Jaffa." 

Now that grabs everyone's attention, because Carter would normally never, ever say something like that. In fact, the minute anyone on base even hints at disrespecting Teal'c because he's a Jaffa, Carter goes off on them like a mother-bitch-goddess. "All – all I meant was that Apophis wouldn't necessarily have explained everything to Teal'c even if he was First Prime. Would he?" 

Okay. So maybe that's what she meant. Maybe she was cranky from a poor night's sleep? God knows Jack could use some sleep…. Or maybe she was PMSing? Who _knows_? The less Jack tries to think about how Carter works, the less it hurts between his ears. 

"That is true," Teal'c agrees. 

"I agree with Sam," Daniel says. "I think we have to assume the Goa'uld are more complex as a society than we're giving them credit for." 

Jack rolls his eyes. Please. Goa'ulds equate to Nazis. End of story. Complex, his ass. 

"The better you understand the enemy the better prepared you are in conflict," Sam says automatically. 

Now Jack is surprised. She's quoting basic training out of the blue? What's up with her? 

"Exactly." Daniel nods. Does this mean he wants to study more Goa'uld stuff? Because they've got more important things to do with their down time… like… get over the weirdness and get back to fucking up against his front door. 

Jack blushes slightly under the collar. Okay. Maybe they needed to slow it down a bit. It is all happening too fast. 

Still… He knew what Daniel was like now — had a first taste of the man, a glimpse of his passion. He knew the sexy way Daniel gasped and moaned in the dark, the way he swiveled his hips when Jack thrust into him, the way he sucked on Jack's tongue, Jack's fingers, Jack's cock…. Oh, God. 

"What's the status of the Nasyan survivors?" Hammond asks. 

Who _cares_? They _survived_ ; can everyone please go home now? 

Daniel clears his throat. "Well, we managed to rescue two-hundred and thirty-seven people. The critically burned and some of the overflow our infirmary couldn't handle were transferred to the Air Force Academy Hospital. The rest are awaiting relocation." 

"Proceed." George nods. 

Thank God, they can go home and work this out! 

"Sir, I think it's important to try and find the reason why Nasya became a Goa'uld target," Daniel urges. 

Oh, for crying out loud! 

"Agreed. But relocation is the first priority. I'm assigning the three new SG teams ten through twelve to coordinate with you." 

George looks to him but Jack shrugs — he's got nothing to add. "Dismissed." 

Daniel gives him a glare over the rim of his glasses — clearly the younger man knows exactly what's been on Jack's mind and does not appreciate it. Christ. Is it his fault Daniel is so damned hot? Can they, for once, not do the mature, logical thing and just get back to the kissing – he loved the things Daniel could do with his mouth – and the petting and the stroking and the — 

Daniel turns tail and is out of the door before Jack can even call his name. Crap. 

Carter is one of the last ones out. Which reminds him. "Oh, Carter, I hate to be a nag about this, but old Doc Fraiser says you haven't been checked out yet?" Which isn't like Sam; she usually does that stuff first while the guys finish up in the locker room. 

"I'll go right now," she says. "Wouldn't want to break post-mission protocol, right, Colonel?" She slugs his shoulder, nearly bowling him over, and that gives him pause. She is acting seriously weird. Then again, he just fucked his best friend so… who was he to judge normal anymore? 

He absently worries about the next time they have a full-on physical. Would Janet notice anything different about Daniel…? Would there be consequences for a civilian…? The thought was like a punch to his gut. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Apparently he should listen to his gut-instincts more often. Turns out Carter's been Goa'ulded by some snake named Jolinar. Jack goes to see her in the holding cell, and does his best to put her in the No-Mercy pile. It's hard, because it looks like Carter, but he knows better after Kawalski. She's Jolinar now and he's got to get information out of her before they have to — he won't think about it. 

"Let me go," she demands, her voice reverberating through the room. She stands. "Let me go through the Stargate. I will find another host and send your friend back to you." 

Yeah, right. And he was born yesterday. Wait… a Goa'uld can leave a host? "You can do that? Leave a host without killing them?" 

A million thoughts – Daniel, Sha're — 

"Yes. It is possible, but not easy. I could die, but I promise I will try." Lying. The bastard is lying. Don't hope for it. Don't. 

"The Nasyan man died when you left him." 

Carter… Jolinar… _It_ closes its eyes. "The Nasyan man died first; that is why I left him. He was beyond my natural abilities to heal." 

Okay pal, he'll play along. "What were you doing in him in the first place?" 

It doesn't answer. "Carter's mind would be intact. She would return to you as you knew her before." 

Sounds good. Too good. "You know I can't trust you," he says softly, hoping that if Carter's in there somewhere, she understands. God, is this a little of what Daniel felt when watching his wife? His _wife_ , for crying out loud. Jack winced. 

Jolinar notices and takes it for weakness. "I could have killed you and many others when you stopped me from going through the Stargate." 

Yeah, it could have. "You didn't want to die yourself." 

It smiles. "You would not have killed me. I am too valuable." 

_Carter_ is too valuable, as far as he's concerned. This Goa'uld can go straight to hell, sit on a hot coal, and wait for him. "Which is _exactly_ why we'll never let you go," he swears, going to the door. 

"I have done nothing to harm you," it says. "But you would not let me go even if you _did_ believe me." 

He's not listening. No-Mercy pile. 

Suddenly Carter's voice — "Oh God, he's telling you the truth! Please, Jack!" 

He looks at his shoes, telling himself it's not Carter. Carter would never, ever, call him Jack. 

"No, Jack! Please, don't leave me, please! Give me a chance!" 

Oh God, don't do this. Son of a bitch! Open the door! This is one of the reasons he _never_ gets involved with a teammate. He should have known better. 

"Don't leave me like this! Please!" Jack slams the cell door shut and stalks off. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

It's Daniel's turn to talk to their prisoner. He's not looking forward to it; he's barely been able to hold himself together since he woke up a few days ago – _an adulterer_ — but he's hoping he can find some information that might help them save Sam. Has to focus on the here and now. He knocks on the door and the guard opens it, allowing him into the small room. 

Sam stands. "Daniel Jackson." 

So, this Goa'uld can get information from the host, just like Kawalski's could. 

"Yes," he says simply; no point in lying. 

"You care about Samantha Carter as much as O'Neill and Teal'c." She states this haughtily. 

Yes, of course. Sam's like a sister to him. "Yes, I do." Family. 

"Yet, this is the first time you have come to see me." 

He barely avoids a wince. He doesn't want to see Sam this way — doesn't want to think about Sha're, about being so wrapped up in thoughts of the other night with Jack, about much of anything but helping Sam get free. 

Daniel takes out a pen and a notebook from his pocket. "I came to see if you could give us a description of the Ashrak." 

"I will know his face only in the moments before he tortures me to death... killing your friend along with me." 

Well, that sounds magnificent. A little over the top, but…. Christ, he's channeling Jack again. "Well, there's no way he's getting in here." 

Sam sneers at him. "You are not stupid, Daniel; nor am I." 

Daniel _hates_ being called stupid. It's the lowest insult he can imagine. "He doesn't even know for sure you're here on this planet, let alone in this base." 

Sam's blue eyes seem colder – like ice. A cliché, but there it is. "He is Goa'uld; he will find me. It's what he does. Letting me go, trusting me, is the only chance of saving your friend Samantha." 

And while you're at it, could you sell him some beachfront property in Arizona? "Then I'm sorry." He steps forward, silently willing Sam to hear him. "I'm sorry, Sam." 

She shifts. "Alive, I can be a powerful ally. Dead, I am useless to you." 

"Then you're gonna have to give us more than empty promises." Hollow. Hollow. Empty tin cans, clanging together, all his promises in that one sound. 

"I can give her back to you," she offers. 

He sighs. He'd like nothing more, but the general has been firm about the matter. "We can't let you go." 

"I'm not talking about Samantha, Daniel." Daniel turns away, not wanting to hear where the rest of this is going. Knowing, and yet completely unprepared. "I'm talking about Sha're. I know where she is." 

He looks back at her, aching, a fist of ice clenching around the bruised muscle that now passes for his heart. 

Jack…. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel runs to Hammond's office to tell Jack, Teal'c, and the general of what Jolinar has said. 

"Daniel, it's a ploy," Jack says, as if he's disappointed that Daniel could be so naďve not to think of that. "He's playing on your greatest weakness." 

That's a low blow. Daniel has to tamp down on the urge to hiss obscenities at Jack. Oh, of course, Jack may be right, and Jack may be saying so without a trace of jealousy or condescension, but it still smarts. So Daniel decides to play on Jack's greatest weakness — his kids. 

"Well, that may be so, but this may be the only chance we have to see Sam again." 

Jack presses his lips together — acknowledging checkmate. 

"I believe Jolinar speaks the truth," Teal'c says firmly, which surprises him. Teal'c has always backed him up before, but he never expected him to help now. 

"Look," he sighs, "he told me about this resistance. Now, they have a totally different way of life from the Goa'uld we know. They don't believe in taking hosts against their will." 

Jack grimaces. "Right, like Carter and this Nasyan guy?" 

Daniel knows they have to play this through — the colonel in Jack needs to iron everything out before the friend in Jack can let Daniel have his way, but it's still frustrating. Briefly, he wonders if Jack is refusing to consider an attempt to save Sha're out of possessiveness or jealousy, but he quickly kills that thought. However infuriating Jack can sometimes be, he's no monster. 

"No, he had no choice. He wants to leave Carter." Maybe if he starts talking like Jack, thinking like Jack, he can bring the man around to his way of seeing things…. 

Hammond holds up a hand. "But if they don't believe in taking hosts, how do they survive?" 

That's a valid question. Thank God it's one he can answer. "They take humans who are about to die. Who choose to continue to live and co-exist with the Goa'uld. Now, according to Jolinar, this can be a rewarding relationship." 

Jack cuts his next sentence off with, "Daniel, I'm sorry, I know what this means to you." The look Jack gives him tells Daniel the man really doesn't want to say this. "But I will never, _never_ trust a Goa'uld." 

He can't really fault Jack for that. But what else can they do? If they want Sam and Sha're…. 

The phone rings and Hammond answers it. He listens carefully and says, "The first group of Nasyans from the hospital have arrived." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

The arrival of the Nasyans also brings forth the Ashrak. Teal'c has an uneasy feeling but cannot be certain, so he says nothing. 

When the emergency warning blares over the loudspeaker, O'Neill orders Teal'c to go to the embarkation room and discover what is amiss. 

Once there, he sees Daniel Jackson held hostage by the Ashrak on the gate ramp. The assassin demands they operate the gate, which Teal'c knows very well they will not. 

He strides into the room purposefully, a zat gun at his side. "I am sorry Daniel Jackson," he says solemnly, before firing upon them both a single time. Daniel Jackson collapses to the ground in pain and Teal'c shoots the Ashrak a second time. The assassin jerks and falls dead on the ramp. 

The smell of ozone fills the gate room for a moment. 

He lowers the weapon and kneels before his friend. "Are you injured?" 

Daniel Jackson's voice is strained but clear. "Dumb question. But, thank you… I think." 

"You are welcome." 

"Just… don't ever do that again." 

Teal'c raises an eyebrow. The young man has indeed been spending a great deal of time with O'Neill. 

It is a good thing that Daniel Jackson was not harmed by the Ashrak. O'Neill would never forgive him. And now Samantha Carter is also out of danger. Teal'c is more relieved than he's ever been before. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel walks into the infirmary with a large assortment of flowers. Frankly, they make his nose itch and send his allergies into orbit, but he knows Sam doesn't get many grand gestures of the touchy-feely variety and these are her favorite kind…. 

She lies on the bed, staring off into space. Still no change. Jack's been climbing the walls since they got her back and now Daniel can see why. 

"Hey Sam; how's it going tonight?" She doesn't answer. Still not speaking. 

Daniel leaves the flowers and walks out quietly. He understands. He's been horribly used by a Goa'uld too, and he knows sometimes a person needs to be held, and sometimes a person just need to be left alone. 

Out in the hallway Jack, Cassandra, and Janet are waiting for him. Jack holds Cassie on his knee — protective, sheltering. Now he knows what it feels like to be held like that. He knows how inexplicably warm Jack's skin is, the spicy scent of his cologne, and the taste of his sweat. Daniel crosses his arms over his chest. 

"She's still the same," he says. 

"Janet said that the Goa'uld left after it died," Cassie says softly. He smiles. For some reason, Cassie calling Janet by her first name puts him in mind of Scout and Atticus in _To Kill a Mockingbird_. 

"Well, that's right." He looks to Jack. Apparently the older man's going to let him field this one. "Um, it died and her body's absorbing it. She's the same old Samantha Carter. Same person we've always known." It's very important to him that Cassie does not fear Sam, because when Sam bounces back from this — and she _will_ — Daniel knows it would kill her to lose the little girl's trust. 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=024IntheLineofDuty.jpg)   


Jack rubs the girl's arm gently. "Cassie, she's just a little sad right now. But I'll bet she cheers up when she sees you." He pats her reassuringly and Daniel can see the father in that gesture. "Come on." 

They watch as Cassandra enters the room, climbs into bed with Sam, and starts talking. 

"Sam, it's me," Cassie tries, but gets no response. She turns Sam over and smiles. "You're going to be okay." 

Eventually the girl gets through. Sam exhales sharply, closing her eyes for a moment before looking up at Cassie — seeing her, seeing all of them — for the first time. 

Daniel smiles at Jack. Yes. She's going to be okay. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

They sat in Vito's, pretending not to stare at each other over their menus. Jack brought Daniel here because it was familiar territory, it had some nice memories, and he thought it would be a good place to try and iron out the awkwardness without actually having to, well, talk. 

Unfortunately, he was just as shaken up as Daniel, although, oddly, not about the sex. Not that the sex, his obsession with it, and its consequences could just be dismissed, but there were bigger worries on his mind. 

"You're worried about Sam." Daniel said this without looking up from his menu. 

"What? Carter? No." Jack hitched his chair forward. "No, she's fine." 

Daniel sighed. "I'd like to think I know you better than that." 

"What'd ya mean?" He quirked an eyebrow. Daniel rarely spoke with such confidence about anything non-academic. It intrigued Jack, this sure side of the younger man. 

"I mean, you nearly lost one of your kids. I know what that does to you. I mean… I know I'm out of it half the time – my head buried in a book or my attention held hostage by some text —" 

"Like a kid with something bright and shiny," Jack murmured to himself. 

"But I pay attention when it counts. You were scared." Blue, blue eyes. 

He was at once both pleased that Daniel thought he qualified as something that ‘counts' and immediately affronted that Daniel would imply he was less than cool as a cucumber. 

Jack licked his lips and watched as Daniel's blue eyes followed the motion. "Yeah. I was. Doesn't mean I won't do what I have to, to get the job done." 

"Mm," Daniel murmured without conviction. 

"Meaning that if I had to kill Sam, I would have." Jack took a sip of his beer and peered at anything in the restaurant that did not resemble a long-haired archeologist. 

"I know that." Daniel placed a napkin in his lap. "That's what has you scared." 

Jack blinked. 

"Having to make a call like that had you scared." 

"You too," he said stupidly. 

Daniel shook his head. "Me? No. I thought she was already lost to us, honestly. I was scared because… because suddenly there was hope. Hope for —" 

"Sha're." 

A leveled look. "Yeah." 

"We _will_ find a way, Daniel." 

The younger man forced a chuckle. "And in the mean time, you and I?" 

"You and I, what?" 

"We forget it ever happened? We only do it after near-death situations? We keep fucking like bunnies and let it all go to hell?" Daniel raised his voice just loud enough to turn some heads and Jack snapped his fingers to reel him in. 

"Damn it, Daniel. This is new to me, too. It's not every day I…. Do I look like the man who has all the answers?" 

"No. You look like the man who pushed me up against a wall and spent the better part of Sunday night shoving his dick up my ass!" Daniel murmured through grit teeth, openly seething, anger just radiating out from him in hot, embarrassed waves. 

"You didn't seem to have any complaints at the time!" Jack fired back. 

Daniel opened his mouth and shut it again. 

"Daniel." This was so not going as planned. 

"I want to go home." 

"We haven't even ordered yet. Can you just relax? I —" 

A snicker. "Jack? What is this? Do you think lasagna and ice cream and a steady game of ‘pretend it never happened' is going to make everything okay? I _cheated_ on my _wife_. All the way this time, and fully conscious, to boot." 

"Just shut up!" Jack hissed. It shocked Daniel enough to buy him some time. "You didn't cheat!" 

Daniel's turn to raise an eyebrow. Yeah, Daniel could be a snarky bastard when he wanted. 

The waiter came over to take their orders. 

"Go away," Jack growled. The server didn't need to be told twice. 

"Jack —" 

"You didn't." Jack could hear the petulance in his own voice. "Look, I'm not saying what we did was the most moral thing in the universe. It probably wasn't right, not to mention legal. But it was right at the _time_." 

"I know that in Jack-world, that passes for logic. Still doesn't change the fact that I —" 

"It's not your _fault_!" Jack insisted. "We were both… there was… I mean, I was the one who… you were just… you didn't go looking, neither of us did… it was…" 

"Jack? Are you trying to say that this was _your_ fault?" 

Thinning his lips, Jack thought about it. Yes, that's sorta what he was trying to say. It's not like he could just look Daniel in the eye and say that love happens. 

The younger man blew out a breath. "Of all the lame-ass bullshit!" 

He blinked up at Daniel. 

"What am I, Jack, some blushing ingénue? I knew what I was getting into. It was a long time coming, give me some credit. I knew at the base, I knew in the car, I sure as hell knew when I grabbed your ass. You didn't trick me into anything; I got myself into this mess." 

"It is a mess," Jack said, quite angrily. "But I'd still like to think it was worth it." 

Daniel. Blinking stupidly. Utterly adorable. He wanted to reach across the table and suck on the man's tongue. 

"I'd like to think," Jack continued, "that I didn't just wake up bat-shit insane one morning, and in the after-stress of battle, got my rocks off with my best friend. I'd like to think that what happened, while regrettable considering the situation with your wife, was not… _ugly_ , Daniel. I don't think it was. Do you?" 

The younger man looked completely flabbergasted. Jack refused to drop his gaze. 

"No," Daniel finally said. "No, it wasn't ugly." Quiet. Resolute. Blue, blue eyes. 

"No. I… I care for you, Danny. Sunday night was just saying so without words." 

Daniel nodded. "I can… I can see it that way…." 

"And, I mean, I'd never come between you and Sha're. I know I'm no real competition, even if I wanted to be. And I _don't_. Want to be." A deep well, full of cold, black water, and Jack just kept plunging in, hoping each time the well would hold at least one more cup, that his soul wouldn't run totally dry. 

Daniel frowned, confused. 

"I like Sha're. She's good for you. I don't want to mess that up," Jack explained. 

"Okay." 

"Okay." Jack nodded. That was that. 

"So it was a one-time thing. A comfort thing." Wad of napkin-strips now on the table – apparently Daniel had been ripping the damn thing up in his lap. Daniel never did like confrontation. 

Reluctantly, Jack nodded. "Yeah. You're with your wife. I'm with the Air Force. It was a — a one-time thing…." It _hurt_. 

They searched each other's eyes, silently agreeing that was probably far from true, but unwilling to break the truce just yet. Daniel was the first to speak. 

"I didn't mean to imply that was we did was ugly. I'm not… Jack, I'm not that close-minded." Daniel squirmed. 

"Please. Daniel. You're the most open-minded person I know. And it's not as if we're gay…." 

"I think, by default, being a man who slept with a man makes you gay. Or bi, at least. We're bisexual I should say." Daniel nodded to himself, pushing up his glasses. 

Semantics. 

"I am not gay." He could just see his father now, standing over him, rosary in hand, sporting that stern, fierce expression reserved only for Sundays. Jack folded his arms. "The day I turn gay is the day —" 

"You fuck me up the ass?" Daniel said softly, his lips quirked. He was teasing. And then again, he wasn't. 

"Fine. All right. I'm gay. But Daniel? Just for _you_ ," Jack teased back. "Now let's order dinner." 

"No," Daniel said, throwing ten bucks on the table to pay for their drinks. "Take me home. My place," he clarified. 

Jack sighed and they headed out. He played an opera CD on the way to Daniel's apartment because his nerves couldn't take the switching of dials tonight. 

The truck pulled up and Jack stared straight ahead. But Daniel didn't get out right away. 

"I'm sorry," the younger man said. 

Great, they were back to sorry. "I can only imagine what for?" Face front, still. Don't look at those eyes, Jack told himself. 

"For causing a scene in the restaurant. And for… for not handling this as smoothly as I thought I would." Daniel's cringe was genuine. 

"Not like we have a manual for how to deal with this stuff. It's okay. I'm not offended, if that's what you're worried about." He glanced over and saw Daniel bite his lip. "I mean, frankly, I'm surprised I'm not the one going wacko. I'm military, after all. It's a big deal." 

"A big deal," Daniel said to the window. 

"But not ugly." Back to staring out of the windshield. Christ, was Daniel really going to go up to that apartment alone? Go to sleep… without him? 

To his surprise, Daniel leaned over and softly kissed Jack on the cheek. "Not ugly, Jack. Never." 

They were so close. He looked down at the swell of Daniel's lips and wanted nothing more than to plant his mouth there, to make Daniel moan, just once more. From the hooded look in Daniel's eyes – he was watching Jack's mouth, too. Wanted it. 

"Never," Jack whispered back, nodding slightly. Daniel wasn't pulling away. He wanted that mouth, wanted it. "Daniel.…" 

"'Night, Jack." The younger man ducked his head and slipped out of the car. Jack watched him trudge up to the entrance and then just sat in the car for several minutes, Verdi wafting over him, life's little ironies not lost on him. 

He put the car in reverse. 

~*~


	26. Captivus

**26\. Captivus**

 

 

 

 

 

Closed the diary, the prick of wet salt behind his eyeballs. Clutched the leather casing close, ran his hands over it as if it was Jack's body, Jack's skin. 

Opened it again and stared at the words as the seconds ticked by on Jack's kitchen clock. Time. Slipping away. Tick tick, tick tick, tick tick. Every tick  – that much farther away from the only man who ever loved him. 

Loved him. Had he mistranslated? Or had he missed what was right in front of him, all this time? 

Daniel looked around the house. Jack's house. His house, once. A cell filled with memories. And time. Regrets. Old wounds. Harsh words. Sex and love and something dark and black and colder than space. Something older than time. 

Loss. 

Daniel wished he could pick up the phone and call Janet. 

Daniel wished Sam was someone he could turn to right now, without seeing her own haunted look of anguish at the mention of Jack's name. 

Daniel wished for Jack, warm, alive, returned  – so that he could press him up against the front door, get down on his knees, and tell that bastard that he loved Jack too. 

But while Jack was frozen in an Ancient cryogenic device, Daniel was trapped in a prison of his own.

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel shoots video footage of everything as they walk through the forest of the world that they'd gated to that morning. Trees. Twigs. Sunshine. Fascinating how similar everything is. 

He can sense Jack coming up behind him. 

"All right, kids," he says with obvious frustration. "We're due back, unless you can tell me you've discovered something earth-shattering, I'm ready to bag this one." 

"We practically just got here. We have no idea what this planet has to offer," he tries. 

"Trees and moss." Jack grins. It's a very fake grin. It's a grin that tells Daniel he better pack it up because Jack wants to go home. And wonderful as that thought is, he still has a _job_ to do. They haven't found any _people_ yet…. 

"Well, a few miles from the Stargate, granted, but —" 

"Captain?" Jack cuts him off. "Any signs of radio traffic in the last twenty-four hours? Any chemical traces in the air to indicate civilization?" 

Bastard. Is this frustration about the other night in the car? Way to be unprofessional. How like Jack. Jack can be such a — 

"None, sir," Sam says. 

Daniel starts to protest but Jack just mows him over. "Aht! Aht! We'll, ah... flag it for an aerial survey. As much as I love a good rain forest —" 

Suddenly Teal'c calls out, "O'Neill!" 

They all turn to see a scruffy man scramble out of the underbrush and fall to his knees. "Help me," the stranger begs. "They find me.… Taldor." Rags, beard, and fear. Those were Daniel's first impressions. 

Daniel frowns. He looks to Jack — Jack looks like he can't decide if he wants to help the man up or shoot him. 

"Who?" Jack asks. 

"Taldor. They find me now." 

"Daniel?" 

What? Does Jack expect him to be able to read _minds_ as well as ancient glyphs? "Tal... ah? I don't.… I have no idea." A jingle races through his head. Taldor! The every day discount store. 

"They find me. They find _you_ ," the man insists. 

Okay, that doesn't sound good. "Taldor is bad?" 

The man is about ready to come out of his skin. "All around us now." 

Jack clearly thinks the stranger is crazy. He humors him with, "All right; all right. We're surrounded by Taldor. Fine. Just relax. Just come with us. Come on." Jack helps the guy up and they walk deeper into the forest. He turns to the team. "All right.… Keep an eye out for Taldor, I guess." 

They reach the Stargate when a loud, metallic, whirling sound pours in from overhead, surrounding them. The man is frightened, cowering. "Taldor." 

"What the hell is that?" Jack demands. 

"It comes for us!" 

"What?" Jack screams over the noise, and then a beam of light encircles them, and Daniel can feel a sense of weightlessness and heat, then cold and dark…. Jack…. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

"Everybody all right?" Jack inquires. He does not like this one bit. Worry like a cold sliver of ice, trailing down his spine. 

"You are prisoners," a voice says. 

Okay, Houston, they have contact. "And you are?" He looks around. 

"Taldor!" Daniel suddenly blurts. "Taldor means justice!" 

Jack glares at him. Where was that brilliant mind of his before they got an all expense paid trip to alien court? 

"It just came to me," the younger man says, shrugging. 

A male voice booms, "You trespass on ancient grounds." 

Oh, goody. They were playing that tune, huh? "Hey, look. We didn't mean to trespass. We're explorers; we came through the Stargate from Earth." 

A female voice booms back, "It does not matter who you are or where you are from; you helped Roshure." 

Rosh… what? "What? Who? This guy?" He points to the wack-job, who is trembling on the ground, the very picture of fear and submission. "Yeah?" 

"Then you share in his crime," the male voice says. 

Okay. Now he's getting aggravated. " _What_ crime?" 

"Murder," the female says. 

Whoa, Nelly. "All right, look. We don't know anything about a murder. He was running from something. He stopped for help. We helped." 

The male voice rises over him, "For the crimes of trespass on ancient grounds.…" 

Okay. Daniel? "Anybody wanna to jump in here?" 

"...of aiding a murder—" the female says. 

"We had no intention of interfering with your justice system!" Daniel shouts to the beam of light. 

"...of carrying weapons on ancient grounds," the male voice continues. 

"We are trained to defend ourselves," Carter says in exasperation. 

"You will be sent through the Stargate," the female finishes. 

Okay. Fine. He shrugs his shoulders. He can agree to that. 

"Thank you," Daniel says politely. 

"To the prison Hadante...." the male voice clarifies. 

"Ah, no no no no no no…. This is just a misunderstanding," Jack says quickly. Prison… prison… fuck…. 

"...for the remainder of your lives," the female voice says with finality. 

And then the light surrounds them, and Jack feels like he's being lifted off the ground — 

The beam shoots them through the Stargate; it feels odd. Different than the other times they'd stepped through. Now they're all going at once and it's almost like he can feel himself mixed in with Daniel and Carter and Teal'c, and even the wack-job, on a sub-particle level for one shining second, and if there were time and space for thought, Jack would have wondered if this was what death was like, but then a sudden stop, the impact of earth, and they all go sprawling. 

His knees crack and he grunts in pain, but otherwise doesn't say anything. He's got to make sure everyone's okay. 

"Hey!" he screams to Roshure as the man takes off like a bat out of hell. 

Quick stock: no weapons, no injuries, limited light. Looking around, he can tell Hadante's a swinging joint. A little mud, some roots and twigs, and oh look, threadbare natives. This day just keeps getting better and better. 

He looks his team over methodically. They are all unharmed. But the locals are whistling in a weird, _Tommyknockers_ kind of way that makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He knows this kind of behavior. This kind of intimidation tactic. 

Jack tucks his hat into his coat – less possessions, less to fight over – and steps between the prisoners and his team. "Well, this sucks." 

"Why are they whistling?" Daniel asks innocently. 

Because they're trying to psych the team out, Daniel. Duh. 

Teal'c calls him over, looking down at a pair of shoes that sizzle and trail wisps of smoke. 

"Oh my God," Carter says. 

"What?" he asks. 

"The wounds are cauterized," Teal'c says. 

He can register the words, but this place has him so on edge, it's like he's missing half of what he'd normally notice. "Yeah? So?" 

"So," Carter says, "whoever it was must have been standing in front of the gate when it opened. Disintegrated by the vortex." 

"Why would anyone do that?" Daniel asks. 

Jack opens his mouth then thinks better of it. He likes that Daniel has to wonder, that Daniel is the sort of man that can't imagine why. 

A scrappy little guy runs up and grabs the crispy shoes, looks Carter straight in the eye, and shrinks away from her. 

"It's okay," she says, trying to be friendly. He backs off. She follows. "We aren't going to hurt you. We just want to talk to you. Please!" 

Teal'c shouts, "Captain Carter!" and then suddenly a large brute grabs Carter from behind. 

He wishes to God he had his MP-5 on him now. She struggles, head-butting the jerk and kicking him in the shins. The other prisoners gather to watch and Jack knows what this is — a test to find their place in the pecking order. If it gets out of hand, there's too many of them for SG-1 to take on without weapons. 

"Vishnoor," a commanding voice says. 

The brute drops Carter like a hot potato and she whirls around to defend herself. Vishnoor wipes blood from his broken lip and Jack notices the heated look he gives her. Well, nobody will be sleeping tonight. 

The crowd draws back to reveal an elderly woman approach. "You have been sent through the great circle," she says with certainty. 

"Well, yes but that was —" Daniel starts. 

"You have been sentenced to life imprisonment for your crimes or you would not be here." She sizes Daniel up fast and Jack thinks he doesn't exactly trust her, but he doesn't exactly dislike her, either. "I am Linea." 

"Well, I am Daniel. This is Jack, Captain Carter, and Teal'c." 

Jack rolls his eyes because Daniel is supposed to introduce him as Colonel O'Neill, but Daniel never once really thought of him that way. 

"If you're the one that stopped this attack, ah, then I suppose we are grateful." 

Linea puts a possessive hand on Carter's shoulder and turns to the prisoners. "This woman is under my protection. She is not to be taken by any man." 

Oh, boy. Found Big Mama already, did they? 

"It's all right," Carter insists. Linea stops her with a raised hand, turning her attention to the brute. 

"Is that clear, Vishnoor?" He doesn't answer, and Jack tilts his head, watching the way this going to play out. "Is that clear?" 

Vishnoor backs off and everyone else walks away. Linea smiles. "You were saying?" 

"Ah." Carter blinks. "Ah, that I can take care of myself." 

The old lady bows. "I mean you no disrespect. But I know what it is to be a woman in Hadante." 

_Speak! You cry like a woman!_

Carter nods. "Thank you." 

Linea turns to face the rest of his team. "For what little it is worth, welcome." She bows and promptly leaves. 

Daniel bows, on autopilot. "Oh, ah, excuse me but…." 

"Daniel," Jack interrupts. "I think that's about it for the welcome wagon." He checks Carter over. "You all right?" 

"Yes, sir." 

"Okay, kids. This is our situation. What do we need?" 

Daniel blinks. "Well. A dial-home-device would be nice." 

Normally Jack would be proud that Daniel's learned to be such a smartass, but it's not helpful now. This place is making him twitchy. "Okay, let's assume we don't find one of those. What else?" 

"Power to free up the super conductive ring on the Stargate." The way Carter says this, it's like she was taking an oral exam. 

Teal'c raises an eyebrow. "So we can dial the gate manually?" 

She shrugs. "It's worked before." 

Yes, with the help of _lightning_. Kinda hard to come by, underground. "Right. So we're looking for a power source. Teal'c, look scary and take point." 

Teal'c starts to lead them away from the gate but two prisoners immediately block their path. Jack points the Jaffa. "We're with him." The prisoners say nothing but allow the team to squeeze past. 

They keep going, looking around; Jack is not impressed with the accommodations, but he's had worse. They come to a little alcove and he pauses. Nothing so far remotely resembles a power source. 

"It's like we're in Botany Bay," Daniel murmurs from out of the blue. 

"What?" 

"Oh, the original name for Sydney Harbor. When the British first colonized Australia, they turned it into a continental prison that was half a world away.…" Daniel trails off, his eyes going wide, probably with the realization that they are, in fact, slightly more than half a world away at this point. "Of course this is probably more than... that." 

Okay. And with that, Daniel's pupils are a nice, round, black. 

He pats Daniel's arm. "It's okay, Daniel. It's okay." He'll get them out of here. He'll fix this. It's what he does. 

"Perhaps the Taldor believes the Stargate only goes here," Teal'c says. 

"Wherever here is," Carter wonders. 

They continue searching several corridors when they come across the man that scavenged the crispy shoes. He's dragging a dead prisoner away. 

All the sudden the man stops and holds the body out towards Carter. "Here. I give." 

Oh great. Just want anyone would want for Christmas – a stiff. Bartering for the female? Not gonna happen, pal. 

"You killed him?" Daniel asks incredulously, like people don't kill each other all the time in prison. 

"No, not me. Killed himself. Not me," the man insists. 

Ah huh. Big guy like that just offed himself and fell into the scrappy man's arms. "Right.…" Jack shoots a look to Teal'c. 

He rips a necklace off of the stiff and tries to pawn it off on Carter. "Here. For you." 

Carter's suspicious, which is exactly how she _should_ feel. "In exchange for?" 

"Like Linea, a gift. For the protected one." Carter refuses and Jack watches warily as the man next turns to Teal'c. "You are very strong. Yes?" 

"Yes. I am." Gotta love that Jaffa modesty. 

"Maybe you challenge Vishnoor? Maybe you win. Maybe... I be your friend." 

Maybe this guy can string together a proper sentence? 

"Maybe not," Teal'c says stoically. 

Scrappy there looks disappointed and resumes with dragging the corpse away. God, it smells. Rotten banana, scabs, and shit. If there is such an odor, that's what he's smelling. 

"Okay," Jack says, officially putting his colonel cap on. He looks to Daniel. He and Carter can probably handle themselves, especially Carter now that she's under Linea's protection, but Daniel is gonna need the strongest backup. 

Somehow, every dangerous mission turns into protecting Daniel. "Daniel, you and Teal'c keep looking around Botany Bay here. Carter and I are gonna have a little chat with —" he looks at Carter. 

"Linea," she supplies. 

"Right. Something is generating the power around here, and she seems to be in charge." Daniel nods and starts to look away; Jack instinctively reaches out and grabs his arm. He gives a little squeeze, silently communicating to Daniel his affection and says, "Oh, Daniel?" 

He motions the younger man forward and Daniel obeys. "You gotta trust me on this." He reaches up and takes Daniel's glasses off, placing them gently in the man's breast pocket. "Signs of weakness are not a good thing in prison." 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=025Prisoners.jpg)   


Jack pats Daniel on the arm, hoping that's all that needs to be said, and he gives Teal'c a weighted look — a look that says he better watch Daniel like a hawk — and then he proceeds with Carter down the corridor. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack's hand on his arm… the way he removed his glasses… Daniel would be a liar if he said it didn't send little tingles down his spine. Try as he might to be cool and mature about it, Daniel still feels more than a little unbalanced – it's like he _needs_ Jack to touch him, somehow. 

Maybe Jack is right to be a little concerned about him. Already two prisoners have made overtures toward him and poor Teal'c has been busy fending them off. At the moment, Teal'c has another one of Daniel's overly enthusiastic suitors pinned up against the wall, choking the life out of him. 

"Teal'c, I… I think he's had enough." Because anymore and Teal'c may smash the man's trachea. 

"If you once again try to physically harm myself, or any of my companions, my patience with you will expire," the big guy says, his voice measured and menacing. Teal'c drops the man to the ground and watches as he trips away, clutching his throat. 

And then Jack and Sam are there, Jack's eyes warily raking him over. "Well, Teal'c.... Making friends, are you?" 

Daniel watches the silent exchange — the way Jack nods his thanks to Teal'c for watching over Daniel. He is at once affronted and flattered. It must be a military thing. Or a Jack and Teal'c thing. 

"Found nothing of use," Teal'c says. 

"Although I am fairly certain that this structure is the ruins of some sort of alien gate terminal…." Daniel looks around. "Probably over fifteen thousand years old. That's almost certain to pre-date human civilization." Jack gives Daniel a look like he's just recently undergone a lobotomy. "Which is not of any use, per se," he admits. But aliens are cool. 

"We may have found what we need," Jack says, rubbing his hands together. 

Sam nods. "Linea has a power source. And just not any power source, either; this is incredible." 

He looks to Jack. Things are never that simple. Daniel knows this. Jack _has_ To know this. "And she's just going to hand it over?" Because he may look naïve but he wasn't born yesterday. 

Jack shrugs and he can hear the other shoe drop. "If we take her back with us." 

Oh boy. "Well can we just _do_ that? I mean, we don't even know what she's in here for," he says. 

"What are _we_ in here for?" Sam counters. 

Jack draws his lip up in disdain. "Jay-walking, I think?" 

Teal'c backs Daniel up — sorta — Teal'c always backs him up. "Clearly, Linea has done something to earn the respect of these prisoners." 

Yes, exactly. "Well, when she warned that man to stay way from Sam, I saw fear in his eyes. Not respect." 

Think about it, Jack. What would they be taking home? 

The older man fixes him with a patronizing glance. "I'm just going to assume you've never been in prison before?" 

Oh come on. "Oh, right. And — and you have?" 

Jack just stares at him — pointedly — and he can feel the hairs on the back of his neck rise. Jack's been in _prison_? For what? Do they let people with criminal records into the military? What could Jack have possibly done? Why didn't he ever say anything? 

"Oh, yeah," Jack says, like it's the easiest thing in the world. "Any place like this has its own set of rules, and they don't have to make sense. Linea's obviously done whatever she's needed to do to survive. Just like we are." Jack lowers his gaze then touches Sam on the arm. "Speaking of which?" 

"Well, Colonel, we're talking about powering one completely alien device with another. I mean, it's not like splicing together a few wires." 

Jack smiles grimly. "I'll take that as a maybe." 

"Without our remote transmitters," Teal'c cautions, "we still have no access to Earth. The iris will be closed." 

Jack sighs. "Okay. Daniel, you know more addresses than any of us, start thinking of alternatives." 

Jack's asking for alternatives. And really, that's Daniel's main function on the team these days. It may not have started out that way; may not have been planed. Originally, he was just supposed to act as translator and liaison. But somewhere along the line, it became about giving Jack options. So he thinks hard, because there's no doubt Sam will find a way to work the gate, and now it rests on him to get them home. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack watches Daniel sit on the ground and scratch out lines in the dirt. He can see the younger man is going through all the addresses he's memorized — quite a considerable sum — and is doing his best to give Jack as many options as possible. And he loves Daniel for that. 

"Okay," Daniel mumbles. "So Cimmeria's out. So is Chulak." 

Sam walks in and joins them. 

"Captain?" 

"She says she'll give us power as long as we take her with us." Right. He expected as much. Frankly, he doesn't give a shit. She's been a civil ally from the start and he has no problem taking her along. 

"Well, that's fine, but we still need a destination." 

Carter kneels next to Daniel as he says, "Okay, well, P3A-707 might work, but there's no telling how long we'd be there before —" 

Just then the gate powers up, snapping Jack's head around. "Oh, for crying out loud. Let's go." 

Carter dodges behind a large root and Jack pulls Daniel to his feet. They move out of the way as the chevrons lock in place. 

A few of the prisoners run towards the gate. One of them is that man — Roshure. 

"What's going on?" Daniel asks. 

Carter looks over at him. "They think it's a way to escape." 

"What!" Daniel cries. He rushes up to Roshure. "Excuse me. Listen to me." 

What the fuck is he doing? Daniel, get out of the way! "Daniel!" Jack bellows. 

Daniel stands between the three prisoners and the gate. He's right in the path of the vortex and the chevrons continue to lock. 

"Look, this won't save you," Daniel tries, clearly desperate to save these strangers' lives. 

God damn it! "Daniel, get out of there!" 

"You won't escape. You'll die!" Desperate, the younger man just looks desperate. How can he care so much for people he's never met? It boggles Jack. These are the same men that attacked them. That got them into this place to begin with. And there's Daniel, doing his damnedest to keep them safe. 

He doesn't understand it, but it's one of the things he loves about Daniel. 

Roshure grabs Daniel's shoulders and yells, "Out of my way!" 

He tosses Daniel aside and the young man falls, landing right at Vishnoor's feet just as the vortex explodes, engulfing the three prisoners. 

A new prisoner is thrown from the gate and rolls down the steps. Once they get a closer look, Jack can tell the new guy is blind. Which sucks. He won't last in a place like this. 

The whistling starts up and the prisoners assemble by the gate. 

Vishnoor sneers at Daniel. At _his_ Daniel. 

"How dare you interfere?" the brute says. 

Jack instinctively moves closer, Carter and Teal'c right there with him. Family. 

"I was trying to save those men's lives," Daniel defends. "They're dead now. They haven't escaped anywhere. They're dead." 

Ah, Christ, Daniel, he doesn't care. Any excuse to pick a fight…. 

"Vishnoor," Linea says. "Leave him." 

"He challenges me," Vishnoor lies. "I accept." 

Daniel ignores this, stepping towards Linea. "How can you let this happen? Roshure just threw his life away." 

Ah, Danny boy. What's life in prison? 

_Hot. No water. Anything for a drink. Let him die. God, let him die. Don't say a word. Name. Rank. Serial number…_

"It was his life. The rules are the rules. Even I must obey them." Linea shrugs and walks away. 

Vishnoor grabs Daniel from behind and Jack goes after him, lunges forward, but then another prisoner wraps a cord around his neck and pulls, hard, and he can't breathe. The cord is like the dull edge of a knife, pressing in, cutting off his air. His Adam's apple throbs. 

Everyone is avoiding Carter. Damn it, Carter, use it! 

"Linea, you can stop this," she tries. 

"I told you this was going to happen," the older woman says dispassionately. 

It stings. It hurts. He can't breathe. Can't get to Daniel…. 

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

_Count the seconds until they let him have more air._

_Four, five…_

_Fifty…_

_What does it matter?_

_Can't breathe, won't talk._

"Teal'c! Teal'c!" Carter screams. 

Jack opens his eyes. His vision is blurred but he can still see Daniel, locked in a chokehold, passing out. Suddenly Vishnoor collapses to the ground. 

Then Teal'c is behind him, punching his captor in the kidneys and Jack is free, air rushing to him, little lights at the edge of his vision like confetti. He swivels around and fights viciously, because these bastards don't have a fucking clue just how deadly he can be when they go after one of his team. 

Once the mob subdues, Jack and Teal'c rush over to Daniel, finding the man curled up and unconscious on the steps by the gate. 

Vishnoor lies nearby. 

Carter checks Daniel's pulse. "He's still alive. But just barely." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

"Unh," Daniel moans. His head feels like a chucked pumpkin. 

"Daniel?" Sam asks. She sounds slightly concerned. 

Slowly, Daniel rises from the bed, feeling very weak. Ow. And some more ow. 

"Unh. What happened?" 

Jack goes over to the bed, sits down next to him, and rubs his arm. "Well, ya actually won a fight, Danny boy," he says in horrible Irish brogue. 

That doesn't make sense. "I don't particularly remember getting the upper hand." Ga-gung, ga-gung, ga-gung – the sound of his pulse in the back of his throat. 

"Neither do I," Sam agrees, "but you must have." 

"P2A-509," he blurts out. 

Sam and Jack exchange looks. "Little brain damage along the way?" Jack says glibly. 

"No, uh-uh, SG-3 was scheduled to go on a mission to P2A-509. General Hammond said so in our last planning briefing." Not that Jack would ever pay attention to that. "We rendezvous with SG-3 and we use their remote transmitters to get home." 

He beams a little, proud to have come up with the alternative. 

Jack smirks. "And this _just_ came to you?" 

"No. This came to me while I was suffocating," he says simply. 

Jack smiles. For real this time. "Then P2A-509 it is." The older man gets up. "Linea? Do they send food — and I'll use that term loosely — does it come through gate on a regular basis?" 

"Everyday at the same time," she says. 

"All right. That's our window." Jack looks to Sam. "Will that work?" 

She nods. "Power the gate and manually dial in while the other prisoners are off eating." 

Daniel takes in Jack – straight back, deceptively relaxed posture, bright eyes. He never doubted they would find a way out of this, but Jack looks — edgy. In fact, Jack has been edgy since they got here…. Which is not like Jack. If anything, the older man is almost always the one to remain calm, make jokes, and stubbornly insist that everything was going to be okay. 

There's something more going on here. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

The gate activates and prisoners position the crude wooden chute to catch slop in a vat. The food comes out in a river of brown, chunky sludge. Everyone hovers, bowls in hands, after the wormhole disengages. 

"What are they waiting for?" Daniel asks. 

"They believe you killed Vishnoor," Teal'c says. 

Ah, the pecking order has changed, then. Jack shifts uncomfortably. 

Linea nods. "You must distribute the food." 

_You wish to eat?_

_Tell us what we want to know._

_We can feed you. There is enough for everyone. You can distribute it yourself._

_Surely your new friends would be grateful._

_Just tell us._

_…The smell is dizzying. Just say something, anything.… Can't die. Owe Charlie a game of catch… promised…. Men keep their promises, Jonathan._

_"O'Neill, Jack, Major, United States Air Force. Serial num—"_

_You say that every time. That is all you say. Talk or starve._

_"I'm in… Special Operations. I parachuted down alone. I'm alone. Gathering… intelligence. You caught me before… I could… take any pictures. That's all." It's a good lie. They'll buy it for now._

_Gathering intelligence on what?_

_He faints to the side a little. No water for days. Can't work up enough spit to speak._

_You will eat now. Off the floor._

_Dogs eat off the floor…._

_Decomposing meat slaps the dirt._

_He eats._

_Knowing he's going to make them pay for this, he eats._

Daniel cautiously walks up to the vat with Linea close behind. He turns and takes Linea's bowl from her, dips down for some of the sludge, and bows as he returns her bowl. As she walks away, the others prisoners begin to crowd the vat. 

"Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!" Daniel shouts. The prisoners stop and Daniel points uncertainly to his teammates. "They're first." 

Jack dips his bowl in and glowers at Daniel. "Thank you." Daniel flashes him a smile, and then scoops up a bowl for himself. 

"Okay, well, I guess —" He's jostled out of the way as the others descend on the food like a pack of animals. Slop goes flying. 

Soon they are alone and Jack works with Carter and Linea to wrap the root around the gate. Linea drips her activators on the plant, causing it to glow, and the gate powers up. 

"Okay, that's it," Carter says. 

"Address?" he barks to Daniel. 

Soon the gate is activated. Jack makes sure Daniel goes first, then the women, and finally Teal'c. He's never been so damned happy to put a mission behind him.… 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

Sometimes Daniel misses the good old days. Camping out on a dig, working around the hottest parts of the day, the sun, flat rock, and sand. Maybe a nice breeze. 

These days, it's all alien invasion this, deadly virus that. Seems like they can't go a week without the computer screaming, "Self-destruct in thirty seconds!" 

Just like it is now. 

The technician's monitor flashes the words **Access Denied**. 

Daniel watches the lines around Jack's mouth tighten when he says, "It won't take our code, sir." 

"Close the iris!" the general commands. 

"Self-destruct in twenty seconds!" 

Oh, God. Twenty seconds. Standing in front of the event horizon, Linea looks back up at them in the control room. 

"Try shutting the whole system down," Hammond says. 

"We can't, sir." Sam holds up her hands. "She's gone into the computer. She got the coordinates. Everything." 

Linea is looking at them — at him — with something like sorrow. How could she do this? He can't believe that someone so intelligent, so evolved, could do something like this. People commit evil when they have no other choice, when they don't know any better. Who would willfully destroy hundreds of lives for no reason? 

"Self-destruct in ten seconds." 

Ten seconds. Sha're… Jack — Ten seconds and he never got to — 

"Nine, eight…." 

The technician shakes her head. "The codes have been erased!" 

"Five…." 

"This doesn't make any sense!" Sam shouts at the screen. 

Jack? Jack! 

"Four, three, two, one…." 

Oh God, not like this! 

The gate shuts down, and they all wait for a few moments, but nothing happens. Hammond and Jack look at each other. 

Jack snaps back first. "Redial those coordinates!" He turns to Hammond. "Request permission to go after her?" 

"Granted," Hammond says, almost overtop of Jack's question. 

Sudden darkness — a blackout. 

"The entire system just crashed," the technician says. 

"Well, get it back up!" Jack spits out. 

"Colonel?" Sam pushes back from her chair. On her computer screen, a message types out. 

**_Thank you for your kindness. All debts have now been paid._**

They stare, dumbfounded, at the screen. A sinking feeling fills Daniel from head to toe. There's an ocean inside Daniel's veins. 

"We let her out," Sam says anxiously. 

"The Destroyer of Worlds," Daniel says, looking to Jack. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That night, Jack was particularly quiet. Daniel wasn't entirely sure why he invited Jack over, but something was bothering him. Jack didn't seem quite right after Hadante. 

They sat on the couch, drinking that awful beer that Jack liked and Daniel only had to _sip_ to get schnockered, and they pretended to watch an old hockey game. Except Jack stared out into space and Daniel fidgeted with the pillows. 

Daniel had made it his habit to study people. In fact, learning to read people while in foster care was often a matter of survival. It didn't take a psychic to know that Jack was upset about something. Maybe the weirdness between them was stressing him out, Jack caught between team leader and best friend, now with unexpected gender-bending sex thrown into the mix. 

Daniel took a sip of beer. God, that stuff was swill. 

He was dying to ask Jack what he'd done to land himself in jail — clearly it was more than a simple child's prank; Jack had acted like he'd done serious time. 

But it wasn't his place to press. Okay, not really. They _did_ fuck, and that _did_ entail some degree of intimacy, but Daniel decidedly refused to think about that, because he was not up for the waves of guilt and anxiety that thinking about it brought down upon his head, and Daniel didn't really feel like he had the right to pry into Jack's past. 

Except it was affecting the here and now. 

The only way to get over this awkwardness was to plow right through it. Not usually his style but he couldn't stand Jack being so withdrawn and jittery. 

Daniel put the bottle down and spread out on the couch, resting his head on the edge of Jack's thigh, as he had before things got… strange… between them. As if by instinct, Jack started petting his hair. It felt nice. Auto-pilot was easy. 

"What did you do to get into prison?" Crap. He wasn't going to ask that. Fucking beer. 

Jack stiffened, but didn't take his hand away. "What makes you think I did anything?" 

"Um…. So…. You were imprisoned unjustly?" 

Sighing, Jack rolled his bottle across his forehead, as if he had a fever and wanted the cold relief desperately. "I guess they didn't think so. I was in Iraq." 

Oh. Shit. Imprisoned, as in, captured. "Behind enemy lines…." he trailed off, his hand gently squeezing Jack's thigh. 

"Yeah. Don't like to talk about it." 

Topic closed. 

"Okay," Daniel whispered, pressing a kiss to Jack's thigh. He kept quiet, because he could tell Jack really needed the silence, but he continued to stroke and kiss Jack's thigh. 

The older man sighed and petted his hair. "You're so soft, Daniel," he said quietly. 

Daniel knew better. They weren't talking about his hair. 

"Like it?" he said lightly. 

Jack's fingers tightened in it. "It's you." You, the civilian, he knew Jack meant. 

The man's brown eyes simmered and Daniel had a feeling he could be shorn like a sheep and don a potato sack and Jack would still enjoy the way he petted and kissed his thigh. He grinned. Some things were so predictable. 

Stroking — Jack was stroking him now — his hair, his arms, his chest. Ah, so good. He stretched like a lazy cat, continuing to press kisses to Jack's jeans, mouthing the muscle a bit, biting playfully. Admit it, a tiny voice said. The two of them were on the couch, indulging in heavy petting. 

It seemed inevitable, when he thought about it. 

Jack's hand sneaked under his shirt and slid up over his chest and Daniel arched. He turned his head and rubbed his cheek over the bulge in Jack's pants — God, was he really doing this? It felt right, so right, but it was still so weird. Jack was hard. From a few closed-mouth kisses to his thigh. 

"You sure?" Jack said this quietly. 

He had no clear idea where sex between them would lead. Quite frankly, he was tired of planning anyway. Tired of carefully building a life, only to have it stripped away in a single moment. Tired of always being responsible. 

He nodded solemnly. 

Grunting, Jack tugged his shirt up, lifted Daniel a little by the material now bunching at his throat, and kissed him softly. He encouraged Daniel to turn over. On his stomach, Daniel hovered over Jack's crotch, faced with the evidence of the other man's arousal. After only a moment's hesitation, he slowly swiped his tongue over the fly, thrilling when Jack moaned and ran an encouraging hand down his back, over his ass. 

A possessive squeeze, and then Jack urged him to sit up – to sit in his lap, facing him. Daniel hooked his arms around Jack's shoulders and touched their foreheads. 

"Don't do this to us, Jack." 

Jack stopped petting him. "What? I thought you were sure?" 

Daniel shook his head. "Don't use me and then pull away from me. Don't shut me out. Don't. I _hate_ it." 

Thin lips. "I'm not using you. I would _never_ …. Dammit, Daniel, how can you think…?" Jack shifted, resting his hands on Daniel's hips. He surged up suddenly, their mouths an inch apart. " _Danny_.…" 

Daniel loved when Jack called him that. Only Jack could to that. He pulled Jack close, kissing him hard, rubbing his ass against Jack's stiff prick. 

"Mmh," Jack moaned round Daniel's insistent tongue, eventually breaking off for air and to lean his head back on the couch. "Ow ow ow.…" 

"Huh?" 

"Go easy… ah… grinding there… harsh material…." 

Daniel looked down at his pants. "Oh, sorry." 

"S'okay. Don't stop." 

"Want you, Jack," Daniel whispered, peppering kisses along Jack's jaw, sucking the tip of Jack's chin. 

Jack's hands came up and squeezed his ass, pulling him forward, and Daniel picked up the rhythm, canting back and forth in time to Jack's fingers. 

"Want you, too." Christ, Jack was sexy when he used that bedroom voice. 

He reached down and tried to pull his shirt off, but his arms got stuck. He fought for a moment, and then Jack just yanked it off, letting it drop to the floor. The older man was on him then, kissing his chest, tonguing a nipple, leaning him back off the sofa, mashing their hips together. 

Daniel wriggled away playfully, lowering himself down, sneaking his legs between Jack's and _pouring_ himself down over the lip of the couch. Quite an amazing feat of coordination, considering most of the blood had left his brain by that point. 

He was on his knees in front of Jack. Game softly buzzing in the background. Quiet of the night all around them. One lamp lighting Jack's chiseled features. 

Parting Jack's thighs, Daniel opened his fly and pressed a kiss to the tent of Jack's boxers. The smell of Jack's arousal; the feel, the heat, and the pulse of it. Like a drum. 

Jack hitched up and lowered his pants off his hips, freeing his cock, taking it in hand and holding it out before Daniel — an offering. 

_This_ close to giggling like a loon, which Jack would not appreciate. He was nervous as hell. On the one hand, he really, really wanted to do this. On the other, maybe this wasn't such a good idea…. 

Brown eyes focused like a laser on him. "You don't have to —" 

Making a swift decision, Daniel lapped at the tip, that full, mushroomed head, tonguing the slit. He tugged twice on Jack's pants, pulling them down, so that he was on the floor in just his khakis and Jack was on the couch wearing just a shirt. They both must have looked ridiculous, but he was too hot to care. 

"Watch… ah, teeth, Daniel, teeth!" 

"M'swory…." 

Daniel took Jack as far in as he could and let his mouth fill with saliva. He bobbed in a steady rhythm and it didn't take long for Jack to fist the couch, his hair, anything within reach. 

"God — God." 

He pushed the coffee table away and spread himself out on the floor, inviting Jack with just a look — a sizzling look, he hoped. The older man followed, covering him, kissing him passionately, growling slightly. Daniel molded around him, pulling him tight, running his hands over the taut muscles of Jack's back. 

Jack's hand came between them, palming Daniel through his pants, making him groan. The older man had a rough way of cupping him, of taking possession of him, which was exactly what Daniel needed. None of his other lovers knew how to be both gentle and commanding at the same time — things that epitomized Jack. He moaned into their kiss and opened his legs, inviting Jack to get on with it. 

Jack's dick rubbed sensually across the material of his pants. Daniel circled his hips, giving Jack plenty of hard flesh to grind against while he slowly lowered his hands to cover Jack's muscular ass. 

Then Jack stiffened, breaking off the kiss. "Daniel?" 

"Yeah?" Daniel frowned. 

"…Nothing…." 

Jack frowned and Daniel heaved up off the floor to claim another kiss. They bumped noses. 

"Ow. Geez, Daniel." 

"Quit squirming so much." 

"I'm not squirming. Air Force colonels don't squirm." 

Daniel wasn't about to remind him that Air Force colonels also don't have sex with men under their command. 

Jack must be having second thoughts and Daniel was just too hard and needed Jack too much to worry about tomorrow morning right now. He pulled Jack down with him and then lifted his hips, circling, grinding, their pricks sliding against one another across the fabric. Jack got into the kissing, he really threw himself into it, using one hand to pull Daniel's right leg up and over his pelvis. 

Daniel rolled them slightly, sprawling over Jack, keeping up the canting rhythm, humping Jack, never breaking eye-contact. Occasionally their hipbones mashed together and it twinged a little, but he didn't really care if it was perfect. 

He gave a naughty little smile and licked Jack's lips, deciding some positive reinforcement never hurt anybody. "You're so hot like this," he whispered. "Half-naked, hard for me —" 

Jack closed his eyes. Things were heating up, becoming slightly more frantic. He slid down Jack's body and licked Jack's navel. 

Laughter. Like warm cider or something else equally Hallmark-moment. "What are you _doing_ , Daniel?" Jack said, amused, propped up on his elbows. 

Daniel smiled. "Tasting you?" 

Jack grinned back. "Taste lower." 

"I think I've spoiled you," Daniel murmured. 

Licking his lips, drawing it out because he discovered he loved to tease Jack, he lowered his head and took Jack back into his mouth. Daniel didn't kid himself that he was any pro at oral sex. He'd read a lot. He'd done a lot for Sha're. He knew what he liked done to him. He did his best to keep his teeth covered and his mouth wet and let the rest happen naturally. 

"God I love the sight of my cock in your mouth," Jack ground out. 

When Jack talked like that? It really turned Daniel on. He blinked up at Jack through his lashes and worked the flat of his tongue against the underside of Jack's pulsing dick. 

Jack praised him with little things — a light brush of his knuckles over Daniel's cheek, fingers massaging his scalp, a breathy moan. 

Sap, Daniel thought. 

He smiled and gripped Jack's thigh with one hand, trailing his free fingers down to fondle Jack's balls. Daniel loved it when a woman would play with his balls, loved it when sure fingers rolled the sacs, squeezed, palmed them. He did that for Jack now and received a gasp and the sting of Jack's fingernails across the back of his neck. 

Jack's breathing became labored and Daniel knew he was close. 

Reaching further back, Daniel ran the tip of his forefinger over Jack's perineum, because he liked it when women did that too. Jack froze up. 

"Daniel —" Jack strained, wary. 

"Yeah?" Panting a little. His jaw ached. 

"I… I'm not ready… to do that… tonight." Jack stared at the ceiling, wound tight. 

Okay. So… Jack didn't want to get fucked. Which, quite frankly, sort of pissed Daniel off. 

He really, really wanted to fuck Jack. 

Did he think Daniel was just going to be his bottom boy or something? Was he too macho to let Daniel reciprocate? Jack had been a generous lover their first time… but this… well, he did say not _tonight_ , which implied that he was up for it another time. Which seemed fair. 

Maybe he just didn't feel like it. Daniel didn't want to push, especially not when things between them were already strained. But he didn't understand. 

"Hey. You're thinking so hard, I'm starting to smell smoke," Jack said, running a hand through Daniel's hair. "Maybe this was a bad idea." 

"Maybe." Daniel moved up on all fours and started to get up. Jack grabbed the waist of his pants and pulled him back down. 

The next kiss? One for the movies. _From Here to Eternity_ had nothing on that next kiss. Jack _clung_ to Daniel, pulled him down, rolled him on his back, and sucked on his tongue until Daniel saw spots of silver and green. 

"I don't care, Daniel. Do you hear me?" Jack hissed. "I don't care that it isn't right. I don't care that neither of us has a clue what we're doing. I don't give a fuck if it's a mistake. Considering what we go through every day, I don't care if it's wrong! Who the hell has the right to judge?" 

Sha're does, Daniel thought. But it was too late. This thing with Jack wasn't going to go away. This thing with Jack was more than just the aftermath of stress. This thing with Jack was a deep underground chamber that Daniel just had to explore. 

"Daniel. I want you. Do you want me?" Jack said. His eyes shining. 

"Yes," he panted. God, yes. It was like Jack was the other half of him, which was a ridiculous thought for anyone living outside of ancient Greece. 

"Good. End of story. It's that simple." 

Daniel gave a half-smile. Jack was so Jack. Normally, this would be the point in the conversation when Daniel would argue that it was never that simple, and then he would drive them toward wherever the moral compass pointed, and they would both do the right thing. But not tonight. 

Tonight, he wanted it to be that simple. 

Unhooking his fly, he shimmed out of his pants, pulled down his underwear, and smiled as Jack ripped the material off and threw it over to the pile of other clothes. They kissed again, Daniel spreading his legs, letting Jack's dick rub just under his balls. Jack bent over him, Daniel's weeping cock jutting against his taut stomach until he had no choice but to groan and thrash. 

Jack humped him like that, slick hardness sliding between Daniel's thighs, running up and down the crack of his ass, making him so incredibly horny that he started moaning and scratching at Jack without shame. The older man laved at his ear, whispering hot things over and over, sucking on his neck until Daniel had to close his eyes and thrust up off the floor. 

"Want it," Daniel whispered. 

"That's it, gimme it!" Jack murmured, pressing in, humping faster and faster. "Come on, Daniel; fuck, it's so good." The assault on both his dick and his balls overwhelmed Daniel and he came, smearing semen all over Jack's torso. 

Pausing a moment for Daniel to catch his breath, Jack lowered Daniel's hips to the floor. He trailed a finger through Daniel's spending and brought it up for a taste. Daniel watched as Jack slowly sucked on his own finger. 

"Jesus Christ," Daniel gasped. 

Jack scooped up more from his stomach and then wrapped his fist around his purple cock, masturbating and making damn sure Daniel was watching him do it. Daniel joined their hands and helped jerk Jack off, his mouth open, sucking in air, his eyes devouring the sight of Jack so completely wanton. Wanting _him_ ; Daniel. 

With a little shout, Jack fell forward, both hands bracing on either side of Daniel's head. Daniel kept working Jack's prick, fast and furious now, loving the slick sound of his hand and his come sliding over Jack. 

An inhuman groan, a rapid canting of hips, and then Jack shot all over Daniel's chest and face. He loved it. Loved every second of it. One thought and one thought only as he felt the warm stuff stain him, coat him — _addiction._

He could absolutely become addicted to Jack. 

"God." Jack fell on top of him, nuzzling his jaw and panting onto his throat. 

He brought his hands up to pet through Jack's hair, but considering the mess, thought better of it and just wound his arms around Jack. They stayed like that until the come and the carpet both turned cold. 

Untangling and struggling to find balance, it started with Jack's cheeky grin. Then Daniel had to grin. What a mess they'd made. Whoever would have thought…? Inevitably, they got to chuckling. Jack was better about keeping it quiet, but Daniel just had to laugh out loud. 

"What's so funny, huh?" Daniel asked, pouting a bit but unable to keep from giggling for too long. 

"Oh, crap, I'm gonna have carpet burn for a week!" Jack pulled him over and licked Daniel's lips. "Worth it though." 

Daniel kissed back and smiled. Worth it. He ran his fingertips over Jack's chest, arms, back. "You're covered in come." 

Jack nuzzled his chin again. "Latest fall fashion," he murmured, both of them cracking up. 

"We should get a shower." 

"Hm, we should," Jack agreed, resting his cheek against Daniel's shoulder. "Daniel?" 

"Yeah." 

A long pause. "This isn't me using you." 

Which was probably the closest thing he'd ever get to Jack declaring any sort of feelings for him. Big step. Daniel wrapped his arms around Jack and looked up at the ceiling, smiling softly. "I know, Jack." 

"Okay. Enough sappy crap. Shower." 

Jack surged up, yanked Daniel off the floor and slapped his ass. "I'm the guest, so I guess I get to go first?" 

Wow. That spanking thing sort of… got him ready again. Daniel leered. "Perhaps I could join you? And you know… save water… protect the environment… not to mention my heating bill…." Sly, slow smile. 

"Did I ever tell you you're a genius, Dr. Jackson?" 

"I want it in writing." Daniel grinned and watched Jack saunter, because that was the only word for what he was doing, down the hallway toward the bathroom. 

Definitely worth it. 

~*~


	27. Custos de Ludus

**27\. Custos de Ludus**

 

 

 

 

 

Jack stared at Daniel as the water sluiced down over his chest, rinsing away the sweat and come. Gorgeous. 

He was too tired to do anything more tonight, but just being here, with Daniel in his arms, safe and alive and _clean_ , made all the knots dissipate; made Hadante seem like a distant dream. He was lucky. Having sex with Daniel could really have screwed things up. And there was always the potential that things would still get screwed up. But at least they were on the same page – they genuinely wanted each other. It wasn't just a freak accident. 

Daniel stepped closer, brushing his whole body gently against Jack, twining their fingers together under the steamy shower spray – a gentle, closed-mouth kiss. God damn it, he was so happy. Why did he have to be so happy? 

Threading his fingers through Daniel's hair, he licked at the younger man's lips, nibbled at his neck, and smiled when Daniel let out a sigh. He'd missed this – missed touch. Needed to touch Daniel. 

Taking Daniel's shampoo – noting it was nearly out and making a quick mental note to stock Daniel up next time they were out – he lathered the stuff in his hands and ran his fingers along Daniel's scalp. 

"Mmm." 

Let his sudsy fingertips trail down Daniel's neck, slide down his back, pulled him close for more kisses. He never used to kiss _Sara_ this much. But he couldn't get enough. 

Daniel was hard again. Jack was not. 

"Ah, youth," Jack said affectionately. And there it was – Daniel's blush. So cute it should be illegal for a grown man to look like that. 

Taking the last of the shampoo, Jack very, very gently stroked Daniel to full hardness. "You sore?" 

Daniel shook his head. "Not too bad." 

He went slow, caressing Daniel more than anything else. In truth, the younger man seemed more interested in the kissing than in what Jack was doing to his dick. Jack indulged him. Because that was his favorite pastime – indulging Daniel. 

"Mm, Jack," Daniel whispered. 

Jack pivoted slightly, letting Daniel have more of the hot water, his tongue exploring deep into Daniel's mouth. Sometimes Jack thought he could do just about anything to make Daniel sigh like that. 

Truth was, Jack was an attentive and considerate man, when he could afford to be. Daniel made him want to be. Having to say no to Daniel actually pained Jack sometimes, even though it was part of the job. 

He massaged Daniel's balls. Surprisingly, it didn't take long. Daniel came again, not as much as before, but still quite impressively. Jack waited, letting Daniel rest on his shoulder, taking a moment to compose himself. 

"Jack?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Bed, now?" 

"Yeah." They toweled off and climbed into bed, naked and warm and sated. Daniel wrapped around him without hesitation and Jack covered them with the blankets. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Daniel said into the darkness. 

What an inane question. Of course not. Jack would be quite happy if they never talked at all. 

Wait, talk about what? Prison? Hadante? Why they both seemed to turn into rampant homosexuals in each other's presence? The awkward and inevitable morning after? Shower sex? What? 

"We'll have to eventually," Daniel said softly. 

"All right. But not tonight?" 

"'kay." Daniel snuggled in and was soon fast asleep. 

Jack stayed awake a bit longer. This was fucked up and he knew it. But there'd been worse times in his life when things were fucked up. He has a mission, a team, and someone remarkable sharing his bed. And Sha're and all the rest would just have to wait. He'd deal with it one day at a time. 

Looking over at those long black lashes, lush lips, soft, brown hair, Jack thought it was amazing what people could rationalize, if they wanted it bad enough. And Jack wanted Daniel. Badly. 

He kissed Daniel's forehead and fell asleep with a frown. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jack first suspects something while they are still in the game. Sitting at the briefing room table — in the virtual reality — and listening to the virtual Hammond try to sell them a line of crap about how wonderful it would be to see old friends again, maybe even spend some time with Charlie, Jack's ears perked up and he demands an explanation. 

They play a merry game of tag with the Game Keeper who admonishes them for having a collective lack of imagination. Jack informs him that it's no fun seeing his friends die over and over. Daniel says he had seen his parents die. 

Now, Daniel's file is sparse, because he's a civilian and because there's not much there of remarkable military value. The details around his becoming an orphan are blunt and vague. 

Parents killed simultaneously in freak accident. Only living relative refused custody. Fostered by various families or ward of state until entrance to UCLA at age 16. 

A crude sketch; hardly the man Jack has come to know. 

There were a few pictures, mostly the mandatory class photos taken by various schools. Daniel looked skinny and geeky and terribly haunted, somehow. You could tell he was one of those kids that had matured before their time. There was one picture detailing light bruising on his torso and a carbon-copy paper attached that granted immediate removal from one of the foster homes when Daniel was ten. And his letters concerning youth emancipation, which apparently, Daniel had argued for himself. That is about it, concerning Daniel's past. 

So when Daniel blurts out that he's had to watch the death of his parents over and over, Jack tags that thought and files it away for when they get out of this mess. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When they finally are free of the machines, and watch the residents pick bright flowers and enjoy their first breath of fresh air in God knows how long, he turns to Daniel and asks, "Are you all right?" 

Daniel nods. "I'm fine." 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=026GameKeeper.jpg)   


Jack knows that's bullshit. 

And he also knows that if it's at all possible, he's got to do something to fix it. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack stalked into Carter's lab and closed the door quietly. "I wanna know about it. All of it." 

"Sir," she hesitated, very reluctant. It must have been some heavy shit. "Sir, it's very personal." 

"Captain? That man is on my team; that man is under my command. There's not a damned detail in his file that I haven't memorized. Furthermore, he's my best friend. So even if it's not in his file, I need to know about it." He fixed her with the coldest glance he had. "I want all of it. Now." 

She gestured for him to sit down, so he grabbed a stool and parked it. 

"What did you see in the Game?" he asked. 

Carter swallowed. "It was Daniel's memory. He lived through it. It was… when his parents died." 

Jack took in a breath and nodded. He knew as much. "Go on." 

"It happened like this…." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

**NEW YORK MUSEUM OF ART - 1973**

They look around and find themselves in a room cluttered with Egyptian artifacts. Sam and Daniel are sporting vintage clothing from the seventies — she wears a dyed skirt and jacket; he's in a Dashiki shirt and pants. 

"Okay, what just happened?" Daniel asks, looking bewildered. 

"I'm not sure." 

Daniel fingers the ties on his top and frowns. "This place looks familiar." 

They wander around for a bit. 

"Wait a minute. Wait a minute." Daniel pauses, his face darkening with recognition. "This is the New York Museum of Art. I've been here many times.... Many times." 

Voices drift in from the left. An exhibition is being built. 

"Okay, careful with that cover stone," a smooth voice says. 

"Yes, Dr. Jackson," a worker answers. 

Daniel moves to the exhibit like a moth to flame. Sam looks at him, anxious. Bustling, noise, activity, light… She's staring at the back of Daniel's head; moves to his side. 

"No," he breathes, incredulous. 

"Daniel?" she asks, worried as the color drains from his face. 

"I'm sorry," a young woman, obviously a museum worker, says, gently touching Daniel's elbow. "This area isn't open to the public." 

Daniel brushes her arm aside but stands there, paralyzed. 

"Be careful with that cover plate," Dr. Jackson says. 

Pillars stand straight and tall. A small crane lifts a flat cover stone above the columns. Underneath, Dr. Jackson and a mousy-looking woman peer up at it. The woman clutches a set of blueprints. Both of them direct the crane closer. 

"Jake, it's swinging a bit," the woman says. 

"Can you bring this thing on the left in a little more?" Dr. Jackson asks. 

Daniel gasps, staring. He looks horrified. She doesn't know what's got him so upset, but it makes her very uneasy. "Daniel, what's going on?" 

But he ignores her. "No, this can't be real," he whispers. 

"Who are these people?" 

He's flabbergasted. It takes him several seconds to stutter out, "They're my parents." 

His father frowns. "Move it towards the back… careful." 

His mother holds up her delicate hands. "Watch it on your left." 

"On your left," his father seconds. "Jake, can we bring this in? Careful, bring it down. Let's look at the front." 

The cover plate wobbles. A tilt of history. 

"It's swinging," Daniel's mom says. 

"It's okay, it's fine; we'll be fine," Dr. Jackson says. "Careful." 

Daniel goes rigid, lurching forward. "No!" he cries, distressed. 

"A bit more level, Jake," his mother says. 

"Okay, Jake, let's bring it down —" 

Desperately Daniel calls, "Get out of there, Mom! Get out of there, Dad!" 

And Sam knows then, she knows, but doesn't know how to stop it. The chain holding the cover plate snaps. Screams and rumbling. Falling rock. The pillars collapse and crush Daniel's parents. 

Daniel shuts his eyes and drops his head, shaking. He looks up at her and she can see forming tears and wrenching pain in his gaze before he pulls a mask on. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

"And then it just kept happening, over and over," Carter said. "He tried everything. He tried warning them, he tried pretending to be hurt to make them come out, but they never did. He just had to keep… keep reliving it, and sir, it really… it really got to him." 

She related all this with tears behind her own eyes. Tears she didn't shed, because she was a military brat, but he knew she'd come to think of him as family and loved him just as much as Jack did, in her own way. "I get the picture, Carter. Thanks for telling me." 

"Sir? What are you going to do?" 

Jack shrugged. "If he wants to talk, I'm there for him. If not… I'm still there for him. Maybe it might be a good idea to take him up to the cabin.…" he trailed off. Stupid. Way to show favoritism to the team. 

"Good idea, sir. He's been working pretty hard." 

Jack shot her a look. "Oh?" 

She nodded. "Yeah. He's been really tired in the mornings, and even though he goes home around the same time you and I do, I think he must take translations with him because he never seems to get enough sleep." 

Jack pursed his lips to keep from smiling. They _did_ burn the midnight oil this past week or so. Not with translations, however. "Duly noted, Captain. Will do." 

"Sir?" she said just as he reached for the door. "Um, I think… I think the reason the Game chose that memory is because Daniel blames himself…. The whole point of the virtual reality was to relive something you felt you should have fixed, but didn't get the opportunity the first time around. So, I think… even though Daniel was only eight at the time, he must have felt… I don't know, sir… like he should have done something. That's an awful burden for a young child to carry, especially heavy to carry all the way into adulthood." 

Jack nodded solemnly. "Don't worry, Carter. I'll do my best. We all have demons." 

He closed the door gently. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

A few days later, the bags were in the trunk. Never took Daniel very long to pack anyway, as he always had a suitcase ready. 

The ride to this cabin — and looking over at Jack, he was almost certain that ‘cabin' would mean a pile of sticks in the boondocks — was very long. The scenery was beautiful. Trees. Grass. Sky. Yes, it was same the universe over. So Daniel grew bored swiftly. 

He could sit still if he'd had a good book to read or work to do, but he got fidgety if otherwise unoccupied. Jack's radio suffered as a result. Daniel switched stations halfway through almost every song. 

He bit his lip and watched the vein pulse in Jack's temple. Vaguely hypnotic. Daniel closed his eyes and punched a radio button at random. 

Closed his eyes. Getting sleepy…. 

 

 

 

 

 

The song drifted in and out. Eyes still closed, he thwapped at the radio and changed the channel back to NPR. 

"Daniel? Are you doing it just to irritate me?" Jack eventually growled, when Daniel flipped NPR over for Britney Spears. 

"Um, yes?" 

Jack glanced at him. "Why?" he drawled. 

Daniel gave a little-half smile. "Foreplay." 

Jack blinked, took a deep breath, and very pointedly looked at the road. "Daniel," he warned. 

"Yes?" he said sweetly. Jack, by now, would know the whole conversation from this point on was pure bullshit. 

"We're supposed to be having a nice, relaxing weekend." 

"No foreplay?" he said, pressing his lips together to keep from laughing. 

Jack grinned. "All right, fine. If you insist. But lay off the radio. There are better ways to excite me." 

Daniel hummed. "I wonder what ways those could be?" He casually reached over and ran a hand up Jack's thigh. Very lightly. Almost innocently. 

Jack gulped and his leg jumped a bit. "Christ." 

"You've never had this particular fantasy?" he inquired, wondering when he'd suddenly gotten so bold about this kind of stuff. Jack just seemed to bring it out in him. 

"Clarify," Jack said hoarsely. "I've got a lot of particular fantasies." 

Daniel raised an eyebrow and smirked. "It's the one where I give you a hand job in the jeep?" 

Jack groaned as Daniel slid the flat of his palm over the crotch of Jack's jeans. "Daniel," he breathed, sounding truly amazed. 

"And if you're really good, I may even go down on you," he said huskily. He had to admit it, he loved talking dirty and he loved that it really turned Jack on. 

"Daniel," Jack pleaded. "It's another hour until we reach the cabin…. We can't —" 

"We can't?" he asked, knowing fully well they could, and with a few more filthy suggestions from him, they would. 

"I'll crash the fucking car." 

Daniel smiled. Jack would never do that. Never put them in danger. "Kind of a thrill going eighty while I wrap my tongue around your cock and suck you off… drink your come." 

Jesus Christ, was he really saying this shit? 

But look what it was doing to Jack. Daniel liked having that kind of… power. That kind of manipulative control. 

Jack violently shucked off his seatbelt and unzipped his jeans. "And that's about all the foreplay I need." 

Chuckling, Daniel reached out and stroked Jack's length — so hot, like it had a fever, flushed scarlet and curving up slightly. He _wanted_ to taste it, not because he especially loved the idea of sucking dick, but because he knew it would drive Jack wild. 

"You want me to do it? You want me to suck you?" he whispered, sidling across the seat and leaning close to Jack. 

Gripping the steering wheel tightly, Jack nodded. "Yeah. But if we crash and you bite off my manly bits, I'm gonna be pissed at you." 

Laughing, Daniel bent over and licked the tip, delighting in the way Jack squirmed, and then he opened wide, swallowing the head and bobbing rhythmically up and down. 

"God, Daniel… agh!" Jack fought to keep them on the road while Daniel fought to take as much of Jack in as he could. He tongued the throbbing vein in Jack's penis and hummed. 

"This is crazy. This shit only hap — happens in the movies… ugh!" 

After a few minutes, Jack put them in the slow lane, grabbed a handful of Daniel's hair and started _thrusting_ up into his mouth. Thank God traffic was light. Daniel accommodated as best he could, gagging a little, and then Jack flooded his mouth with bitter seed. 

He swallowed it all, immensely proud. And then sort of ashamed for being proud about something like that. But what the hell. He didn't have to play innocent or academic with _Jack_. 

Daniel sat back, played with the radio, and smiled smugly. Jack kept shooting him sideways glances. 

"What?" 

"I had no idea you were such a slut, Daniel," Jack said affectionately. Daniel blushed at the use of the word, and even more at the tone of affection with which it was said, and looked out the window. 

Jack's hand crept into his lap and started shaping him through his pants. He bit his lip. He wanted it, had been hard since the very idea of doing something like this had presented itself to him a few miles back, but he was still too shy to ask Jack for anything. Especially after the other night when Jack froze up… well, he just didn't want to push Jack. 

"Hmm," he hummed, slouching down in the seat. 

"I can't suck you off and drive at the same time, Daniel," Jack growled. "I mean, I can multitask but I don't possess the power of telekinesis." 

"Ooh," Daniel moaned. "Big word!" 

"Accretion disc?" 

"Oh baby," Daniel said playfully, hips canting forward. 

Jack chuckled. "I could jerk you off, but you'll come in your pants." 

"Wouldn't… ah… want that…." He sucked in a breath, desperate for more of Jack's harsh groping. Planting his right hand over Jack's fingers, he forced Jack to _roll_ that hand in flat circles over his straining dick. 

"I guess I'll just have to keep you on edge until we get to the cabin." Jack's voice was teasing but, still. 

Oh, fuck that. "Or we could pull over!" 

"Daniel! I'm shocked. In broad daylight? Where any other driver could see?" Jack chuckled and squeezed slightly. "You an exhibitionist, Danny boy?" 

"God, Jack, _please_ ," he whined. He seriously needed it. This was so unlike him. It's like he needed a fix… like Jack brought out the most basic, primal lust in him. 

"Just hold on." Teasing him with light touches, Jack flicked the blinker on and pulled them over to one of those rest stops that had picnic tables and charcoal grills and no one ever went there because there was a gas station and a hotel the next exit over. 

Daniel wormed his way out of his pants in under two seconds and held his dick up and ready before Jack even pulled the key out of ignition. 

The older man smirked. "My, my, so eager. Shouldn't start these things, Danny." 

Jack pressed a kiss to his cock and then proceeded to blow him — sideways, as if his cock were a harmonica, like in pornos — which was something Daniel had never thought to do to Jack before, but then Daniel couldn't think at all because it felt so wonderfully hot and naughty and oh, God, were they actually doing this in here? Oh, God, yes! 

"Hmmm, Jack…. Jack…." He could _not_ keep quiet during sex; it just wasn't possible. "Yeah!" Nails scratching the roof of the truck. 

Jack worked him, taking his time, really getting into it actually, which flattered Daniel. And then the older man began fondling his balls and Daniel shot off the seat, clutching the headrest and arching — and the moments just before he came were the best, the tingle and sizzle and zing before he unloaded. "God!" 

Licking… Jack was licking him. Lapping it all up. Tucking him back in his pants. Wiping that strong chin to catch up the excess of his spending. Damn. That was hot. 

"Are you going to be able to contain yourself until we get to the cabin now?" Jack said, fixing Daniel's seatbelt first and then his own. 

Daniel nodded, sleepy, sated. "Yeah. That was… Jesus, Jack." 

"Good." 

Jack smiled and took up Daniel's hand, rested it on the stick shift, then covered it with his own, threading their fingers together. It was very sweet. Like a dream. 

Daniel closed his eyes…. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

"We're here," he said to Daniel, rousing the younger man. 

Daniel looked so adorable when he slept — in this case, curled up on one side, head draped back on the shoulder of the seat, mouth slightly open. He'd had some wild dreams on the way up. 

Being with Daniel was like throwing pennies into the fountain of youth. Make a wish…. 

"Daniel," he said gently, wiping stray bangs back off Daniel's forehead. 

"Mm?" 

"We're here." 

"Oh." Daniel blinked and straightened up. "Oh, sorry. What time is it?" 

Jack smiled and got out of the jeep, unloading their bags. Sorry was an ingrained reaction in Daniel Jackson. Huh, that rhymed. "Where's your watch?" 

"I'm on vacation." 

"Did you lose it?" 

"No," Daniel whined. "It's just, the strap hurts my wrist and…. Hey, Jack?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Did I dream it, or did we just suck each other off in the car?" 

Jack blinked. Nearly dropped the bags. What the hell? "Daniel? Are you on any drugs I should know about?" 

"So, we didn't?" 

"What? Blow each other in the jeep?" 

Daniel nodded. 

"No! What the hell is wrong with you? Do you know how dangerous that is? I can just see the headlines now – Air Force colonel dead in car accident, archeologists' cock in his mouth.' Seriously, that's the most, well, it's hot, but honestly Daniel, you scare me sometimes —" 

"Okay, okay, I don't need a lecture. I guess I dreamed it. So vivid though. And for the record, I sucked you off while driving. You pulled over to a rest stop to do me." 

Jack muttered to himself. Sometimes, Daniel just wasn't playing with a full deck. He'd had some vivid wet dreams in his life, but, Jesus. 

"Even in my dreams you're a tight-ass." Daniel smiled and slammed the car door shut. 

Jack decided the entire thing was a joke – a Danielism, which meant he didn't have to understand and probably wouldn't if he tried. 

Daniel helped carry the bags to the door — sometimes he found himself doing things for Daniel as if he were a woman — opening doors, carrying heavy stuff, guiding him around by the small of his back. It was ingrained in him from years and years with Sara. 

They hadn't said they were in a relationship. In fact, they hadn't said much of anything about it at all. Daniel was married; they couldn't _have_ a relationship. And yet here they were, at Jack's cabin — a haven that he hadn't shared with anyone since Charlie had died — and they had just come from performing oral sex on each other _in the damned car_ , at least in Daniel's _dreams_. 

Sorry, but that entailed relationship material to Jack. Therefore he found himself tamping down on the urge to pour Daniel's coffee, get Daniel's chair, walk down the street with Daniel on the inside, farthest away from the curb. So sometimes he forgot Daniel was a man. Didn't matter. He was _Daniel_. Besides, it's not like Jack could forget for very long — look at him, for crying out loud. 

Daniel shuffled across the threshold and heaved his luggage into the corner — he'd packed just about every book known to man but Jack doubted he would have remembered to bring clean underwear if Jack hadn't reminded him. 

Speaking of clean underwear…. "Daniel, is that a stain?" 

Daniel looked down and blushed. "Ah… yeah. Er…. It was a good dream." 

"I'll bet." He nodded to the hallway, amused at how after all they'd done, Daniel could still be so easily embarrassed. It was kind of flattering, actually. "You can change in the bathroom." 

"Wow," Daniel breathed as he took in the cabin. 

Jack turned on the light. Yes, the cabin had electricity. A fireplace. And a hot shower. This was a haven, not a survivalist camp. He was proud of it. Built a lot of it himself, actually. "Nice, huh?" 

"Jack," Daniel said, looking around. 

"You were expecting a rickety cot and cobwebs?" 

Daniel ducked his head. "Well, you can't tell much from the outside." 

"Less likely to get robbed. Less taxes. Who needs a fancy outside? It's what's inside that counts," Jack said, taking their bags to the second room, which served as the bedroom. 

"Very you, Jack," he heard Daniel murmur as he fiddled with his pants. 

Jack looked down at the bed. He was glad Daniel saw him for who he really was, most of the time. But it was also unnerving, to be so naked, so vulnerable. The other man's opinion meant a great deal to him, and he _knew_ there were things about him and his past that Daniel would never approve of, never condone. 

If Jack wanted to keep him, he couldn't show him everything. Then again, he never could show anyone everything. Sometimes _Jack_ couldn't even live with himself. 

Besides, the point was moot; he couldn't keep Daniel, could he? 

"Jack?" Daniel said, coming up behind him, pants abandoned, long flannel shirt reaching to the tops of his thighs. The younger man wrapped his arms around Jack's waist, cuddling him from behind. "What're you thinking?" 

"Just wondering which side of the bed you'll take tonight." And when what side he'll end up on, when Daniel finally left him. 

Daniel pressed a kiss to his shoulder. "What does it matter? I always end up sleeping on top of you, anyway." 

He turned around. "You hungry?" 

Daniel's stomach growled. "I could eat." 

Jack grinned. "Good thing I've got food in the cupboards. It'd be a shame if I had to catch us lunch." 

"Why?" Daniel said, nuzzling him. "You've got all that gear and you're telling me you're a poor fisherman?" 

"I'm an excellent fisherman," Jack said, nuzzling right back. "It's just I don't think there are any fish." 

Daniel frowned. Adorably, of course. "You mean, it's too early in Spring for them to be in season or something?" 

Jack kissed him. "No, Daniel. I mean, the lake doesn't have any fish." 

"Oh." Daniel pouted and that meant Jack _had_ to kiss him — soundly — dipping him back a bit and cupping his neck, devouring his mouth. Fingertips tracing the tops of those thighs – brushing the peach fuzz of hair there, wanting more…. 

"Food," he grumbled, stalking off to the main room, leaving Daniel in his wake. "Sweatpants are in the bottom drawer!" 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel watched Jack hunt around in the cupboards, fretting over whether to serve him Dinty Moore Beef Stew or Spaghetti-O's. It amused him. Daniel had grown used to eating, or at least trying to eat, just about everything under the sun. He wasn't picky about anything except his coffee — which was essential if he wanted his brain to function — and his cookies, which had to be moist. Dry cookies were a sin against God and man. 

"Whatever you're in the mood for, Jack," he said casually, knowing Jack would continue to worry about it for a while because Jack was like that. "Oh, let's have Spaghetti-O's. Save the stew for dinner." There, that spared Jack the agony of choosing the lesser of two evils. 

"Okay." Jack put the pot over the little two-burner stove and smiled. He was doing a lot of that lately. "Bowls are under here." 

Daniel went to help and was surprised by Jack's sneak attack. The older man hugged him close and began laving at his ear. "Guh!" 

"Eloquently put," Jack murmured, kissing his neck. 

"Jack.… Did you bring me up here just for sex?" he said playfully. 

"No," Jack said seriously. "I'm just thinking you'll enjoy the sex more than the other reason." 

Oh boy. "Because the other reason would be?" 

"We need to talk." 

Crap. Double crap. He knew it. Wasn't he the one who said they'd have to talk about it eventually? "Okay. About?" 

"Stuff," Jack said lightly — certain doom — as he stirred the pasta. 

Daniel waited. And waited. And waited. 

Jack sighed. "Um, I'm not going to ask you what you saw in the Game." 

"I already told you." Daniel hunched over and crossed his arms, tugging either side of his shirt around him. 

"Yeah, I know. And I'm not going to push." 

"You're not?" 

‘Cause that would be a first…. ‘Mother Hen' O'Neill letting something tactfully drop. 

"No. I'm just going to say, if you wanna talk about it… crap, Daniel, it was your parents." 

"Yes, I'm aware," he said dryly. 

"I can't imagine what it was like, watching that," Jack said softly. 

"Probably a lot like watching your son die." Jack's spine went ramrod straight. He felt like a total ass. "Fuck, I'm sorry." He was near Jack in an instant, a hand on the older man's shoulder. 

Jack just kept looking at the pasta. "Yeah, probably. But I was a grown man. You were eight." Tight. Trying so hard not to get angry, even though Daniel deserved it. It just, it hit him out of the blue, bringing up all this shit now. He thought Jack just wanted to screw around for the next two days off. 

"Jack? I've seen lots of shrinks. They didn't help. Talking about it… does not help. I've learned to deal with it." 

"You've learned to bury it," Jack insisted. "And that's good. That's good, on the battlefield. It's bad in the bedroom." 

Daniel raised both eyebrows. Relationship stuff? Jack was talking to him about relationship issues? Willingly? 

"Trust me." Jack glanced over at him. "You need to shut down to get a job done? I'm all for it. But just don't shut _me_ out, okay? I hate that too." 

Daniel nodded automatically, then narrowed his eyes. "Why?" 

"Because you can't deny that kind of shit to someone when they… when you're… um, when you're close." Jack folded his arms. 

Funny. Daniel, on an almost subconscious level, recognized that gesture. 

" _Close_?" Okay, he was pushing Jack. Not sure why, but he couldn't just let it go. What the hell was Jack really trying to say? That he wanted Daniel to open up the floodgates and sob out his whole life story? That he wanted to kiss the boo-boo better and then get back to blowjobs? Pick the boundaries and stick to them, God damn it! 

"Yes, Daniel," Jack croaked out. "We're close, aren't we? And all I'm saying is that.… I'm here. Okay? I'm _right here_." Jack tapped his chest, looking totally out of his depth. Daniel decided to take pity. 

He moved closer and leaned his head on Jack's shoulder, because clearly Jack needed to be able to comfort Daniel in some way or else he was gonna get twitchy and start conversations that would be the equivalent of dancing on a landmine. "Thanks for bringing me up here, Jack." 

Jack wrapped an arm around him and stirred the pasta. "You're welcome." 

A few moments passed. 

"You're always taking me in," he said absently. "Ever since my first day back. Giving me space… your space." 

"I've got lots. No sense in it being empty." Jack wouldn't look at him — just kept staring at the pasta, which was going to boil over. 

Daniel took the pot off the burner and poured the goopy contents into two bowls. "No sense being alone," he said, shrugging. 

They moved to the coffee table in front of the couch — no room for a dining table, so Daniel folded his legs and sat as if he were in a Japanese living room. 

"Christ, my knees. Can't we eat on the couch?" Jack complained. 

"Live a little, Colonel," Daniel said, patting the rug next to him. 

So they sat on the floor and ate Spaghetti-O's. "Our first date was Italian food," Jack blurted out. 

Okay. Jack said date. Date. Which was crazy. Because… um… except it was kinda a date, wasn't it? 

Daniel nodded. "And ice cream." 

"Mmm, ice cream," Jack imitated Homer Simpson, handing him a napkin. 

Daniel wiped his mouth and caught Jack staring. "What?" 

Jack shook his head. "Nothing. Just… really amazing things come out of your mouth sometimes, Daniel." 

He snickered. "Really amazing things come _in_ my mouth, too." 

Jack winced and groaned. "Puns now? You've no self-respect! Some linguist!" 

"You've got a complaint to lodge against how I use my tongue?" Cripes, it was awful. 

Jack just grinned, leaned over, and kissed him. He could taste the tang of the sauce in Jack's mouth, and Jack's heat, and he tilted his head and deepened the kiss. 

"Eat, Daniel, so I can fuck you later." 

Oh shit. Blood rushed straight to his cock. "What?" 

"Eat. Keep your strength up. I don't want your stomach growling when I nail you to the mattress." 

Daniel gulped and studied the unfinished portion of his bowl with something akin to hatred. Damn, so much left! Cursed food! Who needed to eat when there was sex to be had? "Ah, I'm… I've had plenty." 

Jack chuckled, but ate at a leisurely pace, teasing Daniel. 

"You _did_ bring me up here just for sex." Daniel ate. Fast. 

"Mostly for sex. Minimal talking. Maximum sex." 

Daniel tilted his head. "Don't you think it a little crazy? The two of us, going at each other like cats in heat? I mean… I've had more sex in these past few weeks than… well, in a long time." 

Jack shook his head. "Daniel, of the two of us, _I_ haven't had sex in a long time. Kynthia doesn't count, because I was drugged. Been a long damned time. I'm taking what I can get, when I can get it. ‘Sides. No telling when you'll get turned into a caveman or kidnapped by fish people or blown up on a spaceship. Time waits for no libido." 

"Jack… you are seriously warped." He smiled slightly and kissed Jack on the cheek. It was a tender kiss, and Jack's hand immediately went up to play with his hair, hold him close. 

"Did you get enough to eat?" Jack said very softly and very slowly. 

"Yes," Daniel whispered, looking into Jack's eyes. "Still hungry, though." Took off his glasses. Threw them on the couch. 

He pounced on Jack then, knocking the older man to the floor and kissing him with zest. Jack made surprised chortles, but wrapped his arms around him and returned the kiss. It wasn't long before Daniel undulated against him, setting up that sweet rhythm they both enjoyed. 

Jack peeled Daniel out of his shirt and bit at his shoulders and chest. Daniel cupped his head and held him tightly, grinding down. They did that for a while, and then Daniel tugged the buttons of Jack's shirt open, some of which went flying, and attacked a nipple. Jack laughed and squeezed his ass. 

"Can't we have sex in bed, like normal people?" Jack said. 

"Who wants to have sex like normal people?" Daniel asked in between kisses. 

"Danny, ah, Danny, we're never gonna make it!" Jack laughed as he unzipped Daniel's pants. 

"We are, in fact, making it, O'Neill," he teased, imitating Teal'c, returning the favor and opening Jack's fly. 

They disrobed quickly, efficiently, no strip-show about it, and then Jack was on him, leaning him back over the coffee table, right between two bowls of God damn Spaghetti-Os, sucking on his tongue and fisting his cock. 

"Want you," Jack crooned, and Daniel gasped and wriggled until he was comfortable on the long low table. 

"Did you… did you bring any lube?" 

Strained silence. 

"Fuck!" Jack said, gritting his teeth. "I knew I forgot something." 

Daniel stilled, the irony overwhelming him. "Jack? Are you saying you brought tons of tack for a lake that has no fish, but you forgot to bring lube for me?" 

Sheepish, blushing, Jack looked kinda cute. "Ah… yeah?" 

"Oh, you don't _deserve_ to get any," Daniel bit off, less than amused. 

"Okay, okay, wait! Let's see. I can get creative when properly motivated." 

Jack jumped up and headed towards the kitchenette, while Daniel just crossed his arms and stared at the ceiling. 

Should he be panicking about now? Now was as good a time as any…. He was about to let his best friend fuck him on a table in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, panicking was good. 

"Here! Got it!" Jack shouted. 

"You've got lube in your kitchen?" Daniel asked incredulously, lifting his head off the table. 

"No. But I've got olive oil!" Jack waggled his eyebrows. 

"Olive... oil." Daniel said slowly, eyes narrowed, because clearly Jack had lost his mind. He was going to have to hide the sharp objects, next. 

"Yeah. Oil. Look, don't tell me they didn't use this stuff in ancient Greece. Alexander the Great himself…." Jack broke off, looking down at the rug. 

Well, well. "Been doing a little reading?" he said huskily. Okay. Why not? Jack wanted to try new things; he was game. Actually, Daniel enjoyed experimenting. If Jack was willing to reciprocate. "I'll make you a deal," he said, putting the bowls on the floor and out of the way. 

"A deal?" Jack said, kneeling down next to the table. 

"Yeah. I'll let you fuck me with olive oil. But then we do what _I_ want." 

"What do you want?" Jack said, licking his lips. 

"I don't know yet. May not collect today. But when I do want it, I want it, no protests from you." 

Jack hesitated, clearly not used to making open-ended bargains, and Daniel knew he'd have to press his advantage. He trailed two fingertips down his torso, fondled his cock for a few tense seconds and then turned over, lowering himself flat on the table, giving Jack full view of his naked ass. 

He could _hear_ Jack salivate. 

Time for the big guns. "I'll let you slick me up and fuck me right here, on the table, fuck me until I scream, and all I want in return is your promise that when I get the next bright idea, you'll go along." 

He wriggled a bit, using both hands to part his cheeks and waited, holding his breath. Would Jack take the bait? 

"Fuck," Jack whispered, pushing an oiled digit into him. 

Ah. Daniel loved being filled. Loved it. It felt so amazing… that he could take Jack into his body like this. Of course, it hurt. It wasn't like with a woman, where excitement was usually enough to get things going. 

They went slowly; Jack was careful, prepped him more than necessary, and soon Daniel rocked on Jack's fingers and moaned with abandon. 

"In me now," he said gruffly. "Jack, now…." 

Jack positioned behind him and he could feel the head of Jack's impressive cock, blunt and heavy against his hole. He held still as Jack pushed in, filling him inch by agonizing inch, until the other man was balls-deep. 

"You okay?" Jack panted. He was clearly straining. 

"Gi-gimme a minute." 

Jack waited patiently as Daniel forced his muscles to relax. Taking cock was no easy task, no matter how much prep-work went into it. Eventually he could feel Jack shake with the effort to keep control, and knowing it would burn, he said, "Okay, Jack," anyway. 

Rocking. Stroking. In. Out. In. Out. Jabbing. Oh, oh, God. 

Daniel was convinced that nobody could possibly fuck as well as Jack could. Jack _drove_ into him, using all his weight, surrounding and holding him, and then, then, just when Daniel thought he couldn't take it anymore, Jack moved just his hips, really fucking and jabbing that thick cock deep into Daniel, pounding at his prostate until he could feel it in his joints, until his jaws snapped with each impact. 

Daniel keened and writhed, clutching the table, watching the bowls abandoned on the floor and beyond caring, making breathy little exclamations like, "Yeah, oh, yeah," as Jack drilled into him. It was insane. 

Jack tore them off the table and put Daniel down on his hands and knees, enjoying the angle better that way. He squirmed because it wasn't quite right, and then… there… much better. 

Daniel went down on his forearms and raised his hips, raking the carpet with his fingernails while Jack grunted and sweated above him. Glorious, utterly glorious. 

"So fucking hot!" Jack growled at him. 

Daniel grabbed his aching cock and pumped, needing to come desperately. 

"That's it, baby, that's it," Jack whispered tenderly and Daniel found himself too far gone to worry about the odd endearment. He stroked, jerked rapidly, and Jack snapped into him, and then he came, spilling over his hand and Jack's rug. 

Jack pulled out, flipped him on his back and seized his hand. He roughly dragged Daniel's palm to his mouth and _licked_ up some of Daniel's seed, all the while tugging his hard flesh overtop of Daniel. 

Daniel watched, amazed, as Jack bit down on his free hand and then sprayed hot come all over Daniel's abdomen. Gorgeous; Jack was gorgeous. 

The older man collapsed on him, and Daniel held him, come coating his back, sticking to his front, the smell of it everywhere, the scent of Jack everywhere, and suddenly all the tension leaked out of him. 

He held Jack, who shook a bit, and petted Jack's hair. 

It didn't matter what the hell they called this — fucking, dating, a relationship, an affair. It was right. He couldn't give it up. He _needed_ it. He needed _Jack._

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

  

 

 

 

 

The rest of that weekend they spent out in the lawn chair, fishing rod in one of Jack's hands, Daniel in the other. It was so peaceful. Powder-blue sky. Light breeze wafting over unfamiliar places – bare ankles, bare chests. 

Daniel read his books. Jack read Daniel. 

Daniel's face pressed against Jack's chest, soft hair tickling his throat. Jack wanted to feel Daniel breathe as he slept, lying in the afternoon sun. In the _sun_ ; in front of the whole world. 

Almost the entire stay at the cabin, Jack thought about doing for Daniel what Daniel had done for him… about letting Daniel fuck him. He trusted Daniel, wanted Daniel. But Daniel never asked. Never pushed. 

One of the reasons Jack trusted Daniel. 

~*~


	28. Egestas

**28\. Egestas**

 

 

 

 

 

Several weeks after their little cabin holiday, Daniel is somewhat sad to be back to work, even though he knows every time he steps through the gate, he's one step closer to finding Sha're. 

Sam calls this planet P3R-636. Spring sunshine, fair blue sky. Which only serves to remind him of the cabin. Daniel crouches next to Jack as they watch Jaffa send a box of Naquadah through the gate. 

And then he sees her. A beautiful woman, wearing a cloak with a renaissance hood, walks away from the procession and into the woods. 

Something about her stirs him to think of Sha're. 

"Look," he whispers to Jack. 

Feet follow, one after the other, drawn to her. Vaguely he hears Jack mutter, "I wish he'd stop doing that." 

The woman sways on the edge of a cliff. He senses heartache. He knows the faint, moldy musk of sorrow; can smell it on himself. 

"She's going to jump," Jack says with certainty as she holds out her arms. 

He runs towards her, grabs her, pulls her back. He's saving a life, maybe his own? 

"Daniel!" Jack calls, running after him. 

The woman screams as they tumble to the ground, and it brings two Jaffa over in a heartbeat. Is she trying to escape from them? 

"No, wait. Please!" he tries, but the staff weapons are aimed at him and his team regardless. 

"Stay away from the princess!" a guard commands. 

Princess? Did he just save a Goa'uld? She didn't _sound_ like a Goa'uld when she screamed. 

Jack and Sam have their weapons trained on the Jaffa and Daniel knows, knows instinctively, that Jack won't hesitate to blow the Jaffa and the princess away if it means protecting him. "It's okay," he reassures in his most calming voice. 

Two more Jaffa come from behind. A slight breeze rustles through the treetops. 

"Colonel?" Sam asks worriedly. 

"Tell them to lower their weapons. They will kill him," the princess says to Daniel. 

A beat. Two. Jack gives Daniel a look, and puts down his weapon. Okay. It's up to him now. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

March, march, march. Hasn't done this much marching since basic training days. 

God damn it straight to hell. Sometimes Daniel is so brilliant and other times he's like a dead albatross around the team's neck. Christ. Not on the planet for an hour before managing to get captured by the enemy. When they got back — if they got back — it would mean another lengthy, ass-covering mission report in which he had to explain why he let his team get compromised and how he managed to save the day by pulling the latest trick out of his ass. 

He loved Daniel, not that he'd ever, ever admit it, but sometimes he could strangle the man. 

They are lead to a Spartan-looking throne room where the princess and an old man — the king, he's going to assume — sit oh so regally before them. 

"What were you thinking?" he growled at Daniel. 

"I thought she'd be grateful." Daniel shrugs. Daniel shrugs like that's the answer to everything. 

"She was trying to kill herself!" 

Did the man expect a Hallmark card? ‘Thanks for not letting me off myself, sorry about having to turn you over to the guys with the symbiote pouches, all the best, Suicidal Princess.' For _crying_ out _loud_. 

"On your knees," a guard commands. 

"No, actually I've got this cartilage problem," he says, instinctively drawing attention to himself, "little ACL thing...." 

The Jaffa hits him with his staff weapon, cracking right into the fold of his knee. He goes down hard and winces. "Ah, yeah, that helps." 

"My father, Pyrus the God Slayer and ruler of this planet, wishes to know who you are," the princess says. 

Daniel's turn. "We're explorers. Peaceful explorers." 

"You attacked my daughter," Mr. Pyrex the Vampire Slayer says. 

"No!" Daniel insists, turning to the princess. "Tell him." 

He looks at the princess and right away Jack knows the game and the score. She's not gonna say squat. The question remains, how screwed were they? 

Pyrus comes down from his throne and stands in front of them. "Only one of you is Jaffa." 

Clever man. 

The guard grabs Carter by her hair and Jack has to bite the inside of his cheek to stay on the ground and not bust out kata number nine from level three combat training. 

"Who sent you?" Pyrus demands. "Where are you from?" 

"We're from a planet called Earth," Jack says, trying to get the focus back on himself. 

"What Goa'uld rules there?" 

"None." Immensely satisfying, that. 

"Liar. Thieves. You will tell me the truth or you will die." Okay, thieves? Next time Daniel wants to run off and save a lady fair, he's going to kick Daniel's ass from here to the moon. The Earth's moon. "Put them in the mines." 

Mines? What the hell? 

"Father!" the princess protests, and Jack thinks it's about time she opened her pretty little mouth. 

The Jaffa guards grab them up and start to haul them out of the room. 

"No wait!" Daniel shouts. "We're not thieves. Wait! Please!" 

Daniel pleads, because Daniel believes that, given enough time and talking, everyone can be made to see reason. Daniel protests because Daniel believes in justice, because Daniel can't imagine that someone would willfully misunderstand. 

Jack can. Jack has done it himself and will probably do it again. Jack knew the game and score right away. 

How screwed were they? 

They were screwed. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The mine is hot, dark, and dirty. It's a standard-issue, work-your-fingers-to-the-bone, it's-off-to-work-we-go mine. Yep. SG-8 got to spend their last mission on a tropical beach. Jack gets a mine. A hot, dark, dirty mine. Because he's just so in love with hot, dark, dirty confined spaces. 

His one comfort is watching the sweat bead up, pool, and drip down Daniel's neck, coalescing in that little indented patch at the base of the man's throat, that place that Jack likes to lick and suck when he's screwing Daniel slow and sweet in the early mornings. 

But such thoughts are better left for off-world. When they aren't chained up and forced to dig in a hot, dark, and dirty mine.… 

Teal'c is shoveling; he and Daniel are swinging pickaxes. Carter stops for a second to catch her breath. "Colonel. He isn't a Goa'uld. I don't think these are real Jaffa either." 

Okay. He'll bite. "How do you know?" 

"First clue was his voice." 

"Yeah, I noticed that too." Except Kawalski and Carter both used their normal voice when they were… infested…. God, he hates those things. 

"Sir, I can't really explain it but when he grabbed me, I just knew. I felt it. Or, to be more accurate, I didn't feel it." She glances around. He worries about her sometimes. "Sir, I think it has something to do with the Goa'uld that invaded me. Lately, I… I get this weird feeling when I'm near Teal'c." 

Ahem. "Hey, who doesn't?" 

"No." She smiles. "I can sense the presence of a Goa'uld now. I didn't get that feeling when he grabbed me." 

"I agree with Captain Carter. The ruler here is not a Goa'uld." Teal'c does that thing he does with his eyebrow when he means what he says and he thinks Jack should just take his word for it. Either that, or he's constipated. 

"All right. Let's assume you both are right. How does that help us?" He leans on the axe for a minute. 

"I'm not sure." 

Well, thanks for bringing it up, Carter. Good to know they'll always have these nice little fireside chats. 

"Look," Daniel says softly. "I'm really sorry you guys. This is totally my fault." 

Jack wants to say that yes, it is, and lay him out. But the truth is, the only reason Daniel went after Princess Swan-Dive is because he values life, and frankly, the only reason Jack hadn't run after her and pulled the exact same hero act was because Daniel simply got there first. So he bites his lip and looks down at his pickaxe. 

A Jaffa walks up to them. "You will meet your quota for the day or you will not eat." 

He notices the threatening way the guard glances first to Carter, then Daniel. Trying to go for the weak link. "You know," he says, drawing the man's eyes over to him, "I've seen an awful lot of union violations around here. I should probably speak to your supervisor." 

And pow, the Jaffa nails him a good one. "You will work." 

Son of a bitch, that smarts. "Hi ho, hi ho, back to work." 

Could have been on a God damn tropical beach… 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel is so tired. He's never felt so tired. Everything pangs with fatigue. Each time the axe connects with rock, he can feel it jangle his nerves, feel the muscle ripple off his bones for a second and then slap back into place, screaming, burning, dying for a rest. 

At this point, he doesn't care if he never gets dinner again. It has to stop. "I can't move anymore." 

Jack looks at him, silently conveying strength, but he can't do it anymore. He's only human. He just can't. 

A low horn sounds and suddenly the other prisoners drop their tools start to walk through the cave in a line. 

"Put down your tools," the Jaffa says, unshackling them. He stops to tease Jack. "How does your leg feel now?" 

"Oh, much better thanks," Jack says with a phony grin. Daniel knows that grin.… Oh boy. 

Jack clobbers the Jaffa with his shovel and Teal'c throws his axe at another guard. They fall swiftly. Jack picks up the discarded staff weapon and fires. "Let's go. Let's go," he says. 

Teal'c takes point. "This way." 

"Let's go, Daniel!" Jack shouts. 

So tired. Christ. Okay, he can do this. "I'm coming!" 

A troop of Jaffa come in and start to fire on them. One of the staff blasts hits the rocks above his head and they cascade down around him. 

Heavy. 

Hard. 

Can't move. 

Heat and blackness rushing in all around him. He can sense Jack close by, but can't open his eyes, can't speak. It hurts. 

"Daniel!" he hears Jack cry from somewhere above him. He tries to answer but it never makes it to his lips. "God…." Jack sounds so upset. 

"He's alive!" Sam says on the other side of him. 

"Carter, Teal'c, take off." Jack is ordering them to go. Jack is ordering them to leave him behind. Jack is staying. No, Jack. 

"Sir?" Sam asks, distressed. 

"Go!" 

White noise is whizzing all around him now. He can't sense Jack near him. The air is so thick and heavy and he can't breathe. 

The last thing he hears is the sound of approaching guards, and then it all fades out, like someone just turned off the lights, and the stage is empty, everyone's gone home, and then there's not even self-awareness…. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The sarcophagus doors open. Natural light filters in, replacing the hum and glow of the artificial light from inside the device. 

The princess stands before him, looking like an angel before the fall. "Do you feel better?" she asks gently. 

Where's Jack? "What's going on?" 

"You tried to escape. You were badly wounded." She indicates his head. 

But where's Jack? "My friends?" 

"They were recaptured." She smiles at him. "By what name are you called?" 

He blinks. Focus. Focus.... "Daniel Jackson." 

She extends a hand. "May I help you out, Daniel Jackson?" 

Okay, why not. Couldn't hurt to win friends and influence people. He takes her hand and stands up. "Thank you." 

And then he notices his clothes. Ah, a little rich for his blood. And a little… ah… satiny. "Why am I wearing this?" 

And where's Jack again? 

"I took the liberty of providing you with royal robes." In other words, she's seen him naked. Or her servants have. 

He hasn't seen any of her servants, though. Okay. That's awkward. Intellectually, he's fine with it. But it feels like he's cheated on Jack. Which brings a fresh smattering of guilt, because it should feel like he's cheated on Sha're. 

"You may call me Shyla. In return for saving your life, please do not try to escape again. I have taken personal responsibility for you." 

Well that sounds fair. Not. "Okay." 

"It would also be rude of you to try and hurt me in any way." She smiles. 

Why would anyone smile like that if they thought they were going to be hurt in any way? 

"You do realize it's also kind of rude to kidnap people and chain them up in a mine?" Jack's in the mine. Got to get to Jack. All his fault. 

"Please forgive me for not telling my father the truth about what happened by the cliff. I… he would not understand." She looks down, truly ashamed. 

Good, this is good. She has compassion and can be reasoned with. "Okay. So, you're not Goa'ulds but you're running a Naquadah mine and you've got yourselves a Goa'uld sarcophagus." 

White cotton between his ears. The feeling gravity returns, an anchor in his stomach, his thoughts bleeding out from him in waves. He must pull himself together. 

Her head snaps up. "You know of the sarcophagus?" 

"Yeah, I've... I've used one before." He thinks of Abydos. Of Sha're. Of Apophis' ship. He remembers the whir, the hum, the surge, and he shivers. "Couple of times too many, if you ask me." 

"Really?" She's all wide-eyed and innocent, like a teenager. She's also blurry.… 

He points to his eyes. "My um… uh.…" 

"Oh, you want your glass circles. I'm afraid they were broken." She hands him the glasses and he gingerly puts them on. 

Well great. The world has never looked better through splintered fragments of sharp glass. With any luck, he can pull an Oedipus Rex by the end of the day. 

"I just know I've done the right thing. Come! I must show you something!" Shyla takes him by the hand and drags him out. 

Wait. Where was Jack again? 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack pounds at the rocks before him. Pound, pound, pound. God damn it straight to hell. Again! Why did this shit always happen to Daniel? Just once, just _once_ , it would be nice to have a mission where something tragic and inopportune did _not_ happen to his lover. 

His lover, Daniel. 

Daniel, his lover. 

His lover, who was not his lover, because Air Force colonels did not fuck other men, especially not men under their command. Because married men did not have lovers. Because they were best friends who fucked like there was no tomorrow and then never talked about it when tomorrow came, like it was the most natural thing in the universe, because it was, because everything seemed right on track until they were separated, and then it all got off-kilter and out of rhythm and seemed completely insane and where the _fuck_ was Daniel? 

Pound, pound, pound! 

"He needed medical attention," Carter attempts to soothe. 

Fuck off. "I know." 

"It wasn't your fault, sir. We had to take the opportunity when we did." 

Fuck. Off. "I know that too." 

A kid comes over and offers Jack a cup of muddy water. Briefly, he sees the inside of a Saudi cell and smells urine. "I've had worse." 

Daniel sure as hell better be all right because otherwise this shit was not worth it. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

She leads him out into the forest and they walk along a tree-lined path. He can think more clearly now, his head doesn't feel like it's crammed with those cotton balls they put in every bottle of aspirin. 

"Isn't this splendid?" She beams up at him. 

_Splen_ did. "Why are we here?" 

"I know you must've seen much in your travels," she says and smiles coquettishly, and Daniel may be slightly inexperienced in the woman department, but he's not clueless, either. "But... surely you've never seen anything quite so beautiful. We call them trees." 

Yeah. He sort of saw them before, running through the forest to stop her from jumping off a cliff? Okay. Play nice, steer it around to Jack and the others. "Ah! Um, so do we." 

"So you've seen them before, on other worlds?" 

Is she kidding? "Yeah, I have." 

"I'm a fool, aren't I? I mean, surely you've seen more incredible things then I can imagine. Please, tell me about them." 

She's batting her eyes. Oh for crying out — no. No. "Look, I would really like to tell you everything you want to know but… but my friends.…" 

She frowns. "My father still believes you and your friends have a nefarious purpose here." 

"But you don't." Have a nefarious purpose? Or believe they do? He looks at her carefully. 

"We will convince him that you are decent, honest people who will bring no harm to our kingdom." She puts a hand on his arm. 

Okay. "I… uh… um… don't suppose we could go talk to your father now?" 

"He is not well now." 

That's tragic. But Jack's in a mine. He sighs, tamping down on his frustration. "I don't... I don't want to spoil this little rapport we seem to have going here —" 

"That sounds almost _romantic_." 

Sweet God in heaven. "Ooooh boy, okay, um, here's the thing. I am very grateful to you that you saved my life and that you want to help me free my friends, but I'm sensing that you did it because you're, ah…." In heat and clearly taken leave of all sense? 

"Because you're my destiny." 

"Whuahh....What?" He gapes. He knows he's gaping. Shut up. Gaping is allowed after something like that. 

"Before she died, my mother used to come out here and take long walks at night. You can see every star in the sky through the treetops." 

Cheese. Cracker. Oops, did it slip? Yes. "No, see, about the destiny thing?" 

"She used to tell me how a great man would come from beyond the sun, just for me." 

Oh fuck. "Oh boy." 

The princess sighs in a way that would have put daytime television to _shame_. "I had come to believe my mother was wrong. That my true love would never come. I stood on that cliff and I wished one last time.…" She turns those doe-eyes on him. "At exactly the right moment you were there to save me, Daniel Jackson. You cannot deny that is fate." 

Jack is going to _kill_ him. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

If Jack has to break one more stinking rock open, he's going start swinging his pickaxe at the person closest to him — which would be Carter — and that would be bad. 

Suddenly Daniel walks in, clad in black satin robes and… is that eyeliner? Jack's wondering if they've stumbled onto the Siegfried and Roy planet when he notices that there are guards escort the younger man into their little nook. 

"Hi guys," the younger man says, like they just met up on the street accidentally. 

"Daniel!" Carter says, delighted. 

Well thank God. Jack has been so worried. Of course, he'd never show that. "Well. It's surprisingly difficult to kill you, isn't it?" 

"We are pleased to see you, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c says, which is about as giddy as Teal'c has ever been. 

Carter edges closer. "What happened?" 

"Uh." Daniel looks at him. "Sam was right. Pyrus isn't a Goa'uld." 

Now that he has a chance to look Daniel over, something doesn't click. Something's off; he can sense it. It's Daniel, but it's not quite Daniel. Which makes no sense. "What's with the dress?" 

Daniel looks down at himself. "Oh! Ah, they're royal robes. Ah, long story short, they have a sarcophagus. Um, the princess put me in it and saved my life because she has a… ah, a crush on me." 

Tamping down on the insane urge to stalk over to Daniel and mark his neck, maybe pee in a little circle around the younger man, or tattoo ‘Property of Jack O'Neill' on his pert ass, Jack merely raises his eyebrows. He's been in the mines too long. 

"A crush?" Carter says, looking to Jack. Why is she looking to Jack? It's none of Jack's business, as far as she's concerned. They go to other planets, Daniel snags a local girl, they come home. It's modus operandi. 

"Yeah." Daniel shifts his weight back and forth from one foot to the other, looking uncomfortable. As well he _should_."Actually, she thinks I'm her destiny; the whole saving her life thing. I guess she was grateful after all." 

Okay. This is peachy. Grateful is great. "Well good job. Now how about getting the goons to unlock us and get us the heck out of here?" 

"Uh yeah, not yet." Daniel has to good sense to look sheepish, considering he just opened his mouth and utter insanity popped out. 

"I'm sorry?" Jack's going to try for sweet, but the little vein in his temple is now popping up from his skin, he can feel it. 

"Well it's... uh... it's kind of a sensitive situation. Pyrus hasn't exactly agreed to let you go yet." Oh Pyrus hasn't agreed yet. He fixes Daniel with a look. "But I'm working on it. I'm trying to gain his trust." Jack lets the look turn sour. "Yeah, I know. This is really —" 

"Weird?" Jack says suddenly. Something about Daniel is weird. Something is off. 

"Look, I just wanted to let you guys know I was okay. And I will talk to Pyrus tonight at dinner." 

"You get dinner?" Carter asks wistfully. 

"Yeah, um, some feast in my honor. Or something." Daniel smiles. That's not like Daniel. Daniel would not smile after learning that his teammates were starving. 

Jack's belly has been shrinking slowly, panging with hunger and churning with concern for Daniel and his team. 

"Feast? There is a feast?" Jack would _kill_ for even a bowl of cold Spaghetti-O's at this point. 

"Just trust me. Okay? I just… I need more time." Blue eyes. 

Trust. Daniel is asking for trust. And Jack does trust him. Jack trusts him more than anyone, more than even Carter or Teal'c, because he knows Daniel, he's been inside Daniel, he's practically set up residence in Daniel. 

But Jack also has highly developed instincts. And his instincts whisper that the Daniel before him is different from the Daniel he's had wrapped up in his arms on lazy Sunday mornings. 

What can he do but wait and have faith that Daniel will work his wonders and negotiate their release? 

With a slight nod, Daniel turns and leaves with his escort. 

"Glad you're okay!" he calls back, but Daniel doesn't even turn around. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

The dinner does not go very well. 

The dining room table is bedecked with trays of food and wine, but only Pyrus, Shyla, and Daniel are in attendance. Pyrus eats and drinks and occasionally glances at Daniel with a cynical, uninterested eye. 

Daniel learns that Pyrus killed a minor Goa'uld seven hundred years ago and has since been pretending that the Goa'uld is still alive by sending Naquadah through the Stargate. 

The king finishes his meal and says he is going to rest. Daniel is tempted to ask a million more questions, but he gave Jack a promise, so he focuses on the issue at hand. 

"Wait, uh… about my friends?" 

"Kill them," Pyrus says casually. 

Jack! "What? No!" He lurches forward. 

"Father, you said their punishment for trying to escape would be to work in the mines, without rest for as long as they live, as an example to the other workers," Shyla says this slowly, glancing back at Daniel. 

"I did?" Pyrus asks, confused. 

"Yes." 

The old man shrugs and walks out of the room with the aid of his daughter. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Later, he sits in the throne room, battling depression and a sense of dread. The king here is senile; his daughter is besotted; Jack, Sam, and Teal'c are trapped into slave labor many miles under the ground and Daniel isn't sure how to make it right. He's tired, he misses Jack, and he really regrets finding himself in this situation. 

The torches on the walls flicker. Night is setting in, a slightly cooler draft fills the room. 

Shyla creeps up behind him, saying, "Do not worry about your friends. I have instructed the guards to treat them well." 

He shakes his head. "I'm sorry; this is unacceptable. I cannot be up here while they are down there." It isn't right. His place is with Jack. Always with Jack. 

"We will change my father's mind about them." She smiles. 

He doubts she has ever known of a hard day's work in her life, so while she has a kind heart, she cannot comprehend what his friends are going through. 

How to work on a person that has no experience with which to sympathize? Perhaps it would be best to play on her infatuation, as Jack suggested. Daniel doesn't like manipulating others, but he does know how to do it. He's been studying people since he was eight years old.… 

"I don't think you're understanding what they mean to me." Lets a slight edge into his voice. The threat of his waning affection. 

"It might just take some time…." He can smell her perfume. And her lie. 

Daniel fixes her with a level gaze. "Or maybe you do. The longer it takes to free them, the more time we have together. Right?" 

She looks down, runs her fingers over his hand. Soft skin. "I admit that is what I would like." 

He bites the inside his cheek to keep the string of obscenities safely within. "Then release my friends. I won't leave. I'll… I'll stay and get to know you better. I promise." 

He knows what he's saying. And he means it, for a while. He'll stay with her if it gets Jack and the others some respite. But he knows Jack will come for him, eventually. 

"Then you do feel as I do." She's glowing, innocent pleasure coming off her in waves. She leans over and kisses him. 

He does not pull away for many reasons. This is a game, and there's no sense in betraying his intentions by shrinking away from her advances. Also, she is not unkind. He sincerely has no wish to hurt her feelings. And finally, it has been so long since he's felt the cupid's bow of a woman's mouth pressed to his. Melosha and Hathor kissed him, but not like this, not soft and sweet and… feminine… this way. This kiss was a courting kiss. 

And it couldn't hold a candle to Jack's. 

"Should I not have done that?" she asks, embarrassed. 

"No, it's okay; it's just that… uh…." He can't really think. 

Daniel doesn't know if he's supposed to encourage it and seduce her to free Jack, or if he's supposed to fend her off, for Sha're's sake, or Jack's… and it was a sweet kiss but it didn't really do anything for him, but then again, shouldn't he prefer the kiss of a woman to that of Jack? After all, what he and Jack were doing… that was for comfort. Perhaps a deep sense of camaraderie. It was raw attraction. 

What was he doing here? 

"Maybe you are still not fully recovered?" she says, and his head does hurt. 

She turns away from him and presses a button on the side of an ornate, stone-carved counter. Suddenly the sarcophagus slides out onto the floor. 

His gut tightens for some reason. "I really don't think that is necessary. Uhh… I'm okay." 

"But you'll feel so much better." 

"It's uh… please." She takes his hand and pulls him along. 

"For me? You will feel better then you have ever felt. Trust me and I will trust you. I promise." She smiles again. 

And that's what this is about. Trust. Give a little to get a little. He sighs as she takes off his glasses. He gets into the machine and closes his eyes. He'll do this… for Jack. 

The doors close on him and he thinks of the taste of Jack's kisses.… 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

**SGC Control Room**

Hammond stands behind the technician, waiting. 

"SG-1's remote code sir. No travelers on route but we are receiving another radio transmission," he says. 

Sighing, Hammond nods. It's been days and days, what is going on? "Patch it through." 

Dr. Jackson's voice comes over the airwaves. "Mission status remains the same. Need more time to resolve situation diplomatically. Next transmission in 24 hours. Daniel Jackson out." 

George frowns. Dr. Jackson didn't wait to hear what he had to say. Dr. Jackson didn't report on the status of his team members. And Dr. Jackson did not sound exactly like himself. So he's not sure. But then again, he _did_ use their remote code, and George just can't imagine SG-1 would ever give that information up to hostiles. 

And Dr. Jackson asked for more time. And George trusts the man. George knows Dr. Jackson would never abandon his team — never do anything to compromise Jack — and so he tamps down on the impulse to send another SG team and decides to wait it out. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack lifts rocks. His muscles are beyond sore. They feel ripped. Split open. He's split open like a sack of grain and there's no end in sight. He's filthy, hasn't had a shower in days, the dirt on his skin has a nice layer of dirt overtop of it. 

And in walks the saving angel of the SGC, swathed in something that would make Hathor blush, and smiling beatifically. Damn the man; what the hell was going on? 

"What the hell is going on?" he demands. He's had to sit here and watch Carter work herself to the point of passing out, and see Teal'c struggle to do his Kel-No-Reem thing, and at night he's so exhausted and so empty that the only thing keeping him going at the moment is hunger and hate. 

"It's been days since we heard from you," Carter says. 

Yeah, that too. Jack's been worried sick, imagining all possible scenarios in which Daniel's suffered without Jack up there to back him up. 

"Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah." Daniel… trembles. "Oh sorry. Um, yeah, I'm still working on getting you guys out…. Oh, in the meantime I've discovered something incredible." 

Has the man lost his mind? "You _do_ know we're dying down here don't you?" Jack says gravely, completely serious. 

Daniel ignores him. "I've taken the opportunity to do a little _re_ search on the sarcophagus. It's a _ma_ zing what it does to you if use it when you are already healthy." 

He looks over at Carter, who has stiffened. "Waa… Is that such a good idea?" Because it's, well, Goa'uld? 

"Well, I can't get Shyla to trust me if I don't show that I trust her." He shrugs. Back to shrugging. At the academy, he would have been made to do pushups and clean the latrine for a week for shrugging at a commanding officer. 

Jack seethes. "Oh, _Shyla_ , is it now? First name basis. Shyla." Has Daniel been fucking around up there? Has Daniel been fucking _her_? 

No. Daniel would never do that. Daniel wasn't the cheating kind.… 

Jack winced. Okay, yes, he was. 

But that was different. _They_ were different.… 

"And I've used it before without any side effects." Daniel is still going on about that damned thing. "And look! No glasses!" The younger man points to both his eyes, drawing his cheeks down and exposing the red muscles underneath his eyeballs. 

"That looks like a side effect to me," Carter says. 

Great. Daniel gets twenty-twenty vision; they get slave labor. "Daniel! Get us out of here!" 

Daniel's attention snaps back. "Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm working on it. I just need a little more time. Oh, I sent General Hammond another message. Hopefully he won't order an all out attack." Daniel says this so casually that Jack knows — _knows_ — he's talking to an entirely different man. "Look, if we do this right we'll have access to all the Naquadah and the sarcophagus." 

He's bargaining. For Naquadah and alien technology. Because those things were so important to Daniel in the first place…. 

"How many times have you used it?" Good girl, Carter. Just what he was thinking. 

"I don't know; nine or ten." Nine or ten! "Oh Sam, everything is so _clear_. I feel like I could do anything." 

"One thing!" Jack growls, holding up his finger. "You only have to do _one_ thing! And if you can't handle that, we're gonna break out of here without you." 

This doesn't seem to register. Daniel leans forward, adopting a conspiratorial stance and Jack thinks they can _finally_ get to the bottom of this, if Daniel can just tell him what is going on…. 

"She wants me to marry her," he whispers. 

Implosion. That's what it is — utter implosion. "What!" That man is _not_ his Daniel Jackson! "All right, look —" 

"No, you look, _Jack_!" Daniel erupts. "I have got everything under control, okay? God, you never show me any respect! Your way didn't work. Now _I'm_ handling it. All you guys have to do is hang in there!" 

Jack is so stunned he can't think of a thing to say as Daniel stalks out. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel stands in the throne room and feels slightly guilty for the way he railed at Jack. Jack does show him respect and often does try to do things Daniel's way. He also cuts Daniel off and shoots Daniel down, but normally Daniel understands. He's not quite sure where that little blow-up came from or how long he'd been harboring those sentiments. 

Shyla comes in, again from behind. She's always sneaking up on him. It's adorable. She's like a little mouse. "How is he?" Daniel asks, politely inquiring of her father. 

"The sarcophagus does not make him better the way it used to. Soon it will be time for me to become queen." She looks sad. 

"Will that be so bad?" He's certain once she's queen that he can… he can get her to let Jack go…. That's what he has to do, isn't it? 

"You do not approve of my father's ways," she says slyly. 

"I can help you make mining much easier and we can defend you from the Goa'uld, if you trust me." And he can; he will. 

"Even after I used your friends to keep you close to me?" she asks, those big brown eyes looking up at him. 

Brown eyes. 

Looking down at him. Never an inch away. Mouth so close, breath so sweet. Brown, brown eyes, like dark amber, like dark beer, the color of earth. Jack…. He never meant to hurt Jack…. 

"Oh yeah. I don't think you meant any harm." He brushes her hair back. 

"Then you will stay? Even after they are free?" 

Yes. Yes. It makes sense; it feels right. They won't need him back home. "I have never felt better anywhere in my life. I've always felt out of place on my planet. I wanted to make a difference…. There is still so much you don't know about me." 

"I know all I need to. We can change things here… together." She puts her head on his chest and he sighs. 

He wonders when he can use the machine next…. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack's too tired to even be angry. He sits propped up against — what else — a rock. Carter leans on him, sleeping, which sort of reminds him of that ice cave; Teal'c sits nearby, breathing deeply. 

He takes a drink and passes it to Carter. "Water? Hey." He nudges her. She needs to stay hydrated or she'll die. 

"We don't use the sarcophagus!" she belts out. 

"What?" He looks at her, worrying about stress-induced delusions. 

She blinks owlishly. "Whoa. Oh that was weird. I was having a vision or something. I kept seeing the memory of Jolinar. The resistance, the Tok'ra, they don't use the sarcophagus. It does bad things to you. It changes your mind. It takes something from you. I kept hearing… Teal'c, what is kalach?" 

"It is Goa'uld. It means one's soul." 

A sinking feeling, like his stomach is tethered to a stone that's been dropped into a dark, cold lake. The soul. 

"Sir, we have to stop Daniel." 

Jack takes a deep breath, looking at the guard, knowing what he has to do. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two Jaffa drag him into that Spartan-looking throne room — he's too weak to really walk, anyway. 

Daniel sits sideways on the throne, looking for all the world like a petulant little prince. 

"The man who would be king," Jack drawls. 

A Jaffa hits the back of his knee and he goes down with a cry. He'd hoped they'd get more creative, but no, always go for the old standbys. 

Daniel hops off the throne, seemingly oblivious to Jack's pain. 

"Hi, Jack!" he says excitedly. "Ha ha…Hi, Jack!" Daniel snaps his fingers at the Jaffa, and they immediately leave. Jack rocks on his knees in front of Daniel, coughing. 

He's so tired. But he has to try. "We're losing the battle down there, you know. Carter has started having Goa'uld flashbacks. Says if you keep using the sarcophagus, you're going dark side on us… if you haven't already." 

"Well, don't worry a bit," Daniel says jovially. "We're getting out of here tomorrow." 

He's sorry, did he just hear Daniel say tomorrow? "What?" 

The younger man grins. "I agreed to marry her." 

Sinking, sinking, cold. "You did?" The _soul_. 

  
[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=027Need.jpg)   


"But," Daniel jumps down from the throne platform and picks him up off the floor, gripping him close, and he can smell Daniel, Daniel smells so good, like rose petals and fresh water, and he can feel the warm muscles thrumming under the satin, and he misses Daniel, and at the same time could easily wring Daniel's clean, white throat with his own bare, grimy hands. "I said I had to go home and straighten a few things out first. And you guys are coming with me." 

Okay. Going home is good. A little unbelievable, but… "And she trusts you?" 

"She… loves me." 

It hurts. 

No, he thinks. He loves Daniel. SG-1 loves Daniel. Where _is_ Daniel? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They stand in front of the Stargate. Daniel is holding Shyla's hands and Jack has to resist the desire to smack them both. 

"He was once the greatest of men," the princess says. "But, he can rule no longer. He lives only to see me married…. I extend the sincerest apologies for the hardship done to you and offer the friendship of our world," she says to Jack. 

Fuck off, he thinks. "Well thanks." 

"Please know that from now on you will always be welcome here and will be treated with the utmost respect." She looks so sincere. 

No _wonder_ Daniel got sucked in. A damsel in distress with big doe-eyes? Please. 

Teal'c and he share a look as Carter begins to dial. He glances over his aching shoulder and sees Daniel kissing Shyla. Kissing her passionately, romantically, drinking from her, almost. 

Oh, it burns bright like liquor in his belly. Fine. Fine. That's the way it is? Fine! 

"I'll be back. Soon," Daniel promises, and Jack thinks there's not a chance in all the circles of hell. 

They step through the event horizon and into the gate room, where Hammond waits for them at the bottom of the ramp. 

Jack pulls a pre-emptive, "We had a nice time, sir. Carter picked up some Naquada. Teal'c made some new friends, as usual. Daniel got engaged. And, um, I'm gonna hit the showers." 

He walks off, refusing to look at Daniel. He's not sure what he feels more betrayed about — that Daniel let them suffer for so long, or that Daniel played tonsil-hockey with Princess Swan-Dive right in front of him. Either way, he's just not even going to look at the man. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack's not looking at him. Jack won't look at him in the showers, won't look at him as he's escorted to the infirmary. 

So now Daniel sits on a bed, Sam standing beside him. "This is stupid." 

"Dr. Fraiser says your systems are all out of whack." Sam looks worried. 

"Well, I feel fine," he insists. His nerves zing and pang; he can't hold still. "God, I need to get out of here or I'm gonna go nuts." 

Sam takes pity on him and brings him to her lab, where she runs test on the Naquadah sample. 

He paces. The pacing is not enough. He has to do something. But he can't focus on paperwork right now. 

"You're going to wear a hole in the floor." She's staring at him. 

He sighs. How can he make her understand? "I can't get her out of my head, Sam. I think I've made a big mistake." 

Her eyes bug out. "You're not serious?" 

When was the last time he told a joke? "I am." 

"You have a wife," she reminds him. 

He shakes his head. "Had. _Had_ a wife. Come on, seriously. How long am I supposed to wait? Even if I find Sha're one day, what are the chances she'll ever be the same again?" And even as he says it, it's true. Besides, it's not like he hasn't already broken his marriage vows every which way until Sunday. Actually, he never even took marriage vows, he just sorta… accepted her. 

Sam licks her lips. "Look, your endorphin level was through the roof when we came back. And now you're coming down off of it. The effects of the sarcophagus are like a narcotic, Daniel." 

Why is she talking to him like he's a child? He's got more degrees than she has, damn it. 

He folds his arms. "Yeah, that makes you smarter, stronger, you live for hundreds of years, feel great. What the hell is so wrong with it?" 

Sam blinks. He knows she hasn't heard him swear all that often. He usually doesn't. Except with Jack. Jack's seen and heard him do a lot of things he usually doesn't. 

But Jack won't look at him now…. 

Sam sighs. "I think it's partly what makes the Goa'uld as bad as they are." 

The machine? "How?" 

"Who knows? It's Goa'uld technology, Daniel. Maybe its healing effects alter your brain chemistry." She holds out her arms in that little-girl gesture he's seen every once in a while as she works things out. It normally endears her to him. Now it just annoys him. But she keeps going, "Increases adrenaline, the hormones that make you more aggressive and irrational. Pyrus probably used to be a decent man. _Look_ at yourself. It's like you need a _fix_. You've only used it a few times and already it's changed you." 

His mind races. "We can't just leave it there. We have to study it." 

"We can't go back, either." 

Screw that. "Well I'm going." 

Sam pauses, looking him over. "She used us to get you addicted." 

She says this with something like pity and it outrages him. Addicted? He's not addicted to the sarcophagus. He got in the damn thing for Jack in the first place! He did it because he's addicted to _Jack_ , because he loves Jack! 

Daniel slams his fist down and knocks over some bottles on her desk. "You've never really known what love is, have you?" 

Tears, he can almost smell them forming behind her eyes. Her pain feels… good. "See, the Daniel I know would never have said that." 

Yes. The Daniel _he_ knew would never have said that either. But while he doesn't mean it, he also _does_. 

He knocks over some more stuff and stalks out of the room. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack sits in General Hammond's office and listens to Carter make her case about how Daniel is addicted to the sarcophagus. 

"What are you saying, Captain?" Hammond asks. 

"Sir, I think he needs to be confined. He is clearly addicted to the effects." 

Jack is about to agree when the man of the hour walks in and sets some papers down on the desk. 

"What's this?" Hammond wonders. 

"It's my resignation," Daniel says strongly. 

No. Not happening. "Oh please." Jack won't look at him. Won't. 

That stubborn jaw comes out. But Jack's not looking! "General, I respectfully request permission to go through the gate to P3R-636." 

Fuck that! "Request denied!" Jack barks. 

"I wasn't asking _you_!" Daniel screams at him, and then starts to collapse. 

"Daniel?" Carter says, catching him as he falls to the floor. Jack and Hammond are on their feet in a second. 

"Dr. Jackson?" 

"He's unconscious," Carter says. 

Hammond picks up the phone to call in a code red medical emergency while Jack leans down to lift Daniel into his arms. Where he belongs, damn it. 

He never should have let Daniel out of his sight. This was his fault. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His team is in the infirmary, hovering over Daniel, who lies on the bed, blinking furiously in his sleep. 

"I gave him a sedative," Fraiser explains. "His test results are all over the place. Liver function, kidney function, endorphins, electrolyte levels indicate muscle deterioration...." 

That crap is scary. He doesn't want to hear that shit. Bottom-line it for him. "All right, all right, whatever. What's going on with him?" 

"I have no idea." Fraiser shrugs. "The most I can do is try to treat the symptoms. But the bottom line is that he seems to be going through some massive physical withdrawal." 

Daniel wakes and tries to get up. Jack eases him back down. It hurts when the man cries, "I have to go back! You're killing me!" 

Ah, Christ, Daniel. 

The younger man pulls on his IV. Teal'c stops him and Daniel just pushes him away. "Stop killing me!" Daniel bellows and it hurts. Daniel thinks Jack is _trying_ to hurt him. 

Jack jumps on top of the younger man, holding him to the bed, heart in his throat as Daniel thrashes against him. 

"Hold him down!" Fraiser commands and she gives Daniel an injection. 

Daniel moans in pain and passes out. Jack still straddles him, holding on, needing to hold on. Daniel…. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Over the next several hours, Daniel's systems start to fail. They debate whether they should let him go back to the planet and use the device. 

Jack asks for options. Teal'c argues that it will keep Daniel alive, but Carter says they should make him sweat it out. Painful as it is, Jack agrees. He knows. He knows quite well. 

If they keep reviving him with the sarcophagus, Daniel's _body_ might recover, but they'll lose him. 

Jack can't lose him. 

So he waits outside Daniel's door, checking in with Fraiser every half hour. She tells him that Daniel's cellular function is starting to take back control, that his pulse and blood pressure are normal. He's so relieved he made the right call. 

Fraiser goes to give Daniel another sedative and Jack walks into the main room to put in a call to Hammond — good old George has been fretting about his wayward son all this time, too. 

Then he looks up at the monitor and sees Fraiser on the floor and Daniel's bed left empty. He runs in and picks Janet up, but she insists she's fine. "I'm okay. Go." 

On pure adrenaline and instinct, he hits the alarm button and chases after Daniel, praying to God he doesn't have to use force. 

Daniel runs into a storage room and shuts the door. Jack follows. 

It is dark and dank and very warm in the little room. He turns on the light and looks around. 

Suddenly a bullet whizzes up and shoots the light out above Jack's head. Fuck! Daniel has a gun! When did Daniel get a gun? 

"Geez! Daniel! Are you trying to kill me?" he says, arms coming up. 

"You're trying to kill _me_ ," Daniel insists, and it just really, really hurts. Where's the trust? How can there be any, in the wake of an addiction? 

"There'll be guards here in thirty seconds," he says. He's got to make Daniel see the futility of pulling this stunt. They'll never let him through the gate. Possibly never again. 

"I'm going back." 

"You don't have to! Fraiser says you're getting better," Jack says. Please, Daniel, listen. 

"You're lying!" Daniel chokes out. 

"Why would I do that?" Jack counters. He's never lied to Daniel, never once. Withheld, maybe, but…. 

Daniel rushes him and they scrapple. Surprisingly strong, the younger man bashes Jack into a group of shelves and supplies go flying. They're buried under heavy cans and equipment. Rolling, they're rolling around, Jack can feel Daniel's heat and hard muscle twitching beneath him, then over him.… Finally Daniel knees him in the stomach and gets the gun — trains it on him. 

Oh, God, not like this. "Daniel! God….What are you going to do, Daniel? Do you want to kill me?" They stare at each other. "Oh God, look at you. I know what this is. I know what it's like. You can get through it…." 

Daniel shakes his head, trembling. "No." A hollow, empty, elongated sound of pure misery. 

Tense moments pass and then he lowers the gun, breaking down into heartfelt sobs. Jack slides over and pulls him into a hug, rocking him, rocking so gently, petting his hair. He knows, he knows. 

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/bastmoon/?action=view&current=027Need-Hug.jpg)   


 

 

 

 

Daniel had to stay in the infirmary for the next twenty-four hours. Finally Fraiser finished with all her tests and nodded that he could go home. Which was good, because Daniel could only sleep in the infirmary if they pumped him full of sedatives. 

Jack drove him to the apartment, thinking Daniel might feel more comfortable on his home turf, so if he wanted to be alone, he wouldn't have to bother with leaving Jack's house. 

He eased the younger man into bed, noting the hollow expression, the dark rings around tired blue eyes. Daniel had done his best to hide it, but Jack could see the way his hands shook and how he couldn't seem to focus on anything for very long. The effects of the sarcophagus have since worn off — but this was shame and stress. 

"I'm really sorry, Jack." 

The hundredth time since they got off base. "What did I tell you about sorry?" 

"But this time it needs to be said." 

Jack sighed, looking down at Daniel where he lay. "Okay. Yeah. You fucked up a bit back there. You didn't know. We're all alive. Let it go." 

Were those tears streaking down Daniel's face, or a trick of the moonlight? 

"Jack…." Wrenching. 

"You hurting?" 

Daniel nodded. Jack climbed into bed, over the sheets, crossing his ankles and letting Daniel sort of crawl into his space. He soothed a hand over Daniel's back. 

"Do you need to go back to the infirmary?" Because he was not equipped to deal with more withdrawal here in this apartment. 

"No. No, it's out of my system. I just…. Um.…" Daniel squeezed his eyes shut. 

Long moments stretched between them and Daniel did not relax. Jack tangled his fingers into Daniel's hair, massaged the scalp. "Daniel? I'm gonna tell you something.…" He swallowed, thinking this was so far from easy, easy wasn't even on the map. "Uh…. when I came back from Iraq…. I had been through some shit, Daniel." 

The younger man nodded but didn't say anything, for which Jack was grateful. 

"I was… injured. There were lots of doctors and lots of drugs. Lots of drugs…. Morphine, codeine; you name it, I had it. I got hooked." 

Daniel looked up at him. 

"For a while. Now, I'm sure the sarcophagus is different. I'm not comparing notes, really. I'm just saying I know addiction. I know it. I know what it's like to sort of go into a dark, hollow place and watch yourself do anything to get your next hit. I know what withdrawal feels like, believe me. You're doing… really well… and you're going to be fine. And no one blames you, Daniel." 

He could feel those eyes boring into him, but he just kept looking at the ceiling. Noted odd things, like the way Daniel's pillow lumped and molded to the back of his head. And the way a low-grade hum from the refrigerator could be heard, even in the bedroom, when everything else in the apartment was quite. And of course, as if it was a second sense, he could almost feel Daniel's pulse against him. 

"They just strap you to a bed until you got over it?" Daniel asked quietly. 

"Twenty-eight days hung out to dry. No visitors, not even cigarettes." Jack rubbed Daniel's hair between his fingers because it felt nice, calmed him. 

"What got you through it?" 

He turned, his lips ghosting over Daniel's forehead. "I had a little boy, a wife, something to come home to. Love, I guess." 

Daniel wrapped his arms around Jack like he was a raft on the high seas. "I'll be okay, then." Whispered, so Jack wasn't supposed to hear. Wasn't supposed to know that Daniel knew that Jack loved him. 

He watched Daniel crash into sleep. "Yeah, we will be." 

A promise. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Two days later, Daniel walks up the spiral staircase to the briefing room and hears Sam say, "Probe's data indicates P3H-826 is a viable next mission for SG-1, sir." 

His pulse is banging through his Adam's apple as he walks in. All or nothing. "I have another suggestion. I think we should go back to P3R-636." Everyone turns to look at him. He knows his credibility is shot to hell, but he has to try. "And before you say anything, just hear me out. There are thousands of innocent human beings there who we could free from slavery." 

Jack looks at him with something akin to relief. He must sound like his old self. 

"Shyla cannot free her world without putting her people at great risk," Teal'c cautions. 

"Well, we have to offer her alternatives; new ways to mine the Naquadah. I mean, we don't even know that the Goa'uld will notice if the shipments stop." 

Sam cocks her head. "Our preliminary tests do indicate potentially countless military and scientific applications for the raw ore. Might be a compelling reason to try, sir." 

"Try what?" Hammond asks. "Last time you were captured and enslaved in that mine." 

Okay. Okay, Daniel knows he has a lot to answer for, but there are innocent people that could use their help and potential benefits to aid the SGC. "Look, you want access to the mine but you don't want to send troops in. I'm offering you a shot at a diplomatic solution.…" He's doing his best to give them options. "Please, Jack, we need to take the chance." 

Jack looks at him for a long, long time. Brown eyes. Deep, unwavering brown eyes. Above him, below him. Drowning in those eyes. 

Jack turns to Hammond. "We can back him up, sir. I'd like Daniel back on the team." 

Daniel silently vows never to shake Jack's faith in him again. 

 

 

 

He goes back to the planet and convinces Shyla to destroy her sarcophagus. After she fires a zat blast directly at it, Daniel knows everything is going to be all right. 

When he gets back, gets through the debriefing, and finally gets off of work, he drives straight to Jack's house. Without a word, the older man opens the door and follows him into the bedroom. Daniel wraps himself around Jack and sleeps well. 


	29. Currus de Thor

**29\. Currus de Thor**

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel was woken up by the soft press of lips to his cheek, his chin, his neck. Mmm, it was good. But it was not Sha're, because unless she'd grown a beard, the cheek now brushing against him had some wicked stubble.

"J'ck," he murmured, slowly coming out of sleep. 

"Mm," the older man answered, gently sucking on his neck. "How you feeling?" Sleepy and grumbly and very Jack. 

"'kay." His stomach growled. 

"Hungry?" Jack asked, licking his ear. 

The thought of food made him ill and he surged up. "No… not, um… not really ready for food yet." He looked at Jack, resting on his side next to him. 

"Okay." Jack understood. Jack has been through this before. With the painkillers. Right. 

Someday they're going to have to have a talk about what all went down in Iraq. And Daniel is probably going to have to tell Jack some more about his foster care and Oxford and all that jazz. But not today. Not right now. 

He leaned over and kissed Jack's chest. Funny, to have soft hair there, lightly covering hard flesh. So different. But… right. It was not as awkward now. And… there didn't seem to be as much of a rush… to steal everything quickly and then regret it later. 

To steal a wrinkle in time with his lover, Jack O'Neill. 

"Not that I don't love what you're doing.…" Jack's breath hitched. "But we're due in today." 

"Mm! We are?" He just got done working things out with Shyla's planet. Surely a little down time? God, the military really sucked sometimes. 

"Yeah. Carter's got something going on with the Seeker project." 

Yes, she had been talking to him about that for a while. "Uh. What time is it?" 

"Time for you to get a watch." 

"Jack. Not without coffee." Daniel rubbed his face. 

Jack laughed. He hasn't heard Jack do that in too long. Felt good. "Daniel, do you think I delude myself that I can get you to do anything without your caffeine?" 

He smiled sheepishly. "Got you well trained. Finally." 

Jack kissed him. It was a good kiss. "Let's go." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Traces of iridium from the Sagan box Daniel left Gairwyn smashes over the iris and SG-1 realizes that the planet with Thor's Hammer – possibly the Asgard themselves – desire to make contact. They send a MALP through to Cimmeria and discover that the Goa'uld have attacked.

Hammond stands beside the star map, sighing deeply. "Let me play devil's advocate for a moment here. It's not our world. Is it really any of our concern?" 

A cold, tense silence fills up the briefing room. 

Teal'c steps forward. "The destruction of the hammer device to save my life may have caused this. If so, I am responsible." 

"General, I gave the order," Jack immediately pipes up, not about to let Teal'c take the blame for this one. He notices Daniel watching him intently from the corner of his eye. 

To his surprise, considering the sensitive nature of the Hammer, Daniel backs him up. "And I fired the staff at the machine." Daniel purses his lips. Jack _loves_ it when he does that. 

"And I... was there," Carter finishes lamely. Not that he doesn't appreciate the effort but…. 

"To answer your question, sir," Jack says, "yes, I think we should be concerned." 

George nods. "All right. But keep your heads up on this one." 

Like Jack has to be told twice. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

 

 

 

Fall on Cimmeria. Browns, golds, oranges on the trees. Pretty. Daniel never had changing autumns in Egypt.

At Kendra's burial mound, Daniel watches Gairwyn show Sam the Goa'uld hand devices. He's still trying to wrap his mind around all that's going on when Jack trots over to them. 

Being back on Cimmeria makes Daniel edgy — this was the place that housed the Asgard technology that could have saved Sha're… but he had damaged it to save Teal'c. Robbed Peter to pay Paul, as his grandfather would have said. 

It is not Jack's fault, he has to sternly remind himself. Daniel would never for one moment believe that Jack actually wanted to keep him from saving Sha're. He shakes his head, focusing on the here and now. "Uh... little discovery here. Sam seems to have the ability to use Goa'uld technology." 

Jack's eyebrows shoot up. Daniel knew they would. Daniel sometimes thinks he knows Jack better than Jack does. "Really? Let's see." 

"Well, it-it seems to have a mind of its own... sir," Sam says. She's very distracted and anxious if she almost forgot to call Jack sir. But clearly, eager to please. 

Gairwyn steps forward, the wind gently blowing her long hair a bit. "Concentrate." 

Sam aims the ribbon device and grits her teeth. After a few seconds, a pulse of energy slams into the ground before them, sending dirt and chunks of debris flying. They all startle — Sam most of all. 

"Hey, hey!" Jack shouts, gloved hands coming up. "Watch where you're pointing that thing!" 

"Sorry." Sam looks slightly freaked out and Daniel can't blame her. He remembers how it felt to hold a staff weapon for the first time on Abydos. He never in a million years dreamed that a human would be able to use Goa'uld technology like this. 

"Do you realize what this means?" He looks to Jack. "I mean... Sam could use one of these ribbon devices to help us fight the Goa'ulds! She could use one of those healing devices we saw Kendra use." Because in this job, you never know when one of them would face excruciating death and not have a handy soul-sucking sarcophagus lying around. 

Sam picks up the healing device and Daniel feels the tingle of anticipation shiver up his spine. This is one of the best things about being on SG-1 — the thrill of discovery, of scientific and cultural breakthroughs. 

"Just... concentrate, like you did with the other thing," he says eagerly. 

She tries, she really does, but to no avail. Daniel hides his disappointment, because there's no sense in making her feel guilty about it. 

Jack insists they move on to meet up with Gairwyn's villagers and scope out the Goa'uld. Daniel nods and follows, glancing quickly at Sam. 

For the first time in weeks, he feels some real hope. Hope of finding and curing Sha're. Of beating the Goa'uld. He glances at Jack and feels… oddly sad.… 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Teal'c does not like the look of the ship and army before them.

"What's with the heads?" O'Neill asks, looking down on a group of Jaffa. "They look like those guys who used to be with Ra back on Abydos." 

"They are of Horus. They guard the family of Ra," Teal'c says. "These probably guard the Goa'uld Heru'ur." 

O'Neill nods, even though he probably has no idea of Heru'ur. "And he'd be Ra's what? Cousin? Uncle? What?" 

"He is the son of Ra and of Hathor." Teal'c looks at O'Neill, well aware of the other man's feelings concerning the Goddess. 

"Nice pedigree." The chill in the man's voice is unmistakable. He knows that if given the chance, O'Neill would stop at nothing to make her suffer for what she had done to Daniel Jackson. 

Teal'c can only agree with the sentiment. But he feels he should warn O'Neill that this Goa'uld will not be easily defeated by passion and righteousness alone. "He's a very powerful System Lord. Much feared, even among the Goa'uld. He is a conqueror. He eliminates all who dare tread in his shadow, including other Goa'uld." 

It is pointless. O'Neill has that look about him — that look that says he'll take no prisoners, offer no mercy. That look he gets whenever a threat is posed to his team. O'Neill is a man of honor. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack returns to Gairwyn's caves with their guide, Olaf, and Teal'c. Daniel rushes up to him, as if he were worried. Jack smiles tightly. No use getting everyone all upset.

"What happened?" the younger man asks. "Did you run into Apophis?" 

Apophis. Sha're. Of course. His face falls somewhat. "Not exactly." 

"It was the Goa'uld called Heru'ur," Teal'c says. 

"You're kidding!" 

Call him crazy, but Daniel actually sounds… almost giddy… about it. How he can go one minute to worrying about Apophis and his wife and then switch into hyper-archeologist-mode is somewhat beyond Jack. 

"Friend of yours?" he asks dryly. 

And Daniel's off. "Horus the Elder, ancient Egyptian God. Pretty mean one, especially considering the fact that his parents were Ra and Hathor...." 

The very _name_ of the woman sets his teeth on edge. All those weeks of Daniel in cold showers, Daniel crying or going numb, Daniel clinging to him in bed. "We know." 

Carter pipes up. "So, did you find anything we can use?" 

"Well, the good news is, with enough artillery, we could blow those pyramids to high hell." This time, his smile? Somewhat genuine. 

Daniel does not buy into it, however. "And the bad news is?" Ah. Yes. That. 

"The Stargate is now heavily guarded." Teal'c lowers his voice. "The Goa'uld are aware of our existence here." 

"Which means we can't evacuate the Cimmerians." Smart girl, Carter. She's two steps ahead. Jack finds that comforting. 

Daniel sighs. "Well, I guess we'll just have to hole up in here a while till things calm down." 

Jack glances around the caves quickly, looking for food and supplies. He hates the idea of staying in a cramped, dark space. Also, twenty-four hours after Hammond doesn't hear back from them, another team is going to come through the gate and get slaughtered. 

"Things will not calm down, Daniel Jackson. They will, in fact, calm up." 

Jack looks at Teal'c. He loves that guy. "He means things will escalate, of course." 

The big guy lets this pass. "The new pyramids in the valley are landing pedestals for the Goa'uld mother ships. They will most likely arrive very soon and contain large numbers of death gliders." 

Death gliders. So _Star Wars_ it would have been funny. "I'm afraid we're on our own, kids." 

Daniel lifts his chin slightly. Doesn't like being called a kid, but he is, to Jack. Even now, even after they've slept together and Daniel's done the most wicked things to him, said the most sultry and dirty things Jack could imagine… even now, he's one of Jack's kids and Jack doesn't like it one bit that they're going to have to fight their way out of this one. 

He and Carter discuss firepower for a few moments before Daniel chimes in with an alternative. 

"Guys, there's a-a... there's a third option here we might want to consider. There's a legend around here about a Hall of Thor's Might." 

The urge to sigh is overwhelming. "Daniel... there's a time and place for mythology." 

Ooh, Daniel shoots him a look that communicates Jack's _this_ close to sleeping on the couch. Metaphorically speaking. He's got his own bed. It's not like they're living together. Anymore. Although they are always together when not at the base. 

"Uh, with all due respect, sir, we thought Thor's Hammer was a myth until we proved it was real." Carter, Carter, Carter. Sticking up for little brother, is she? 

"Jack," Daniel says softly, "I think Thor's Might may refer to an alien weapon or weapons that have been hidden away for centuries." 

Did Daniel just say weapons? _Daniel_? 

"We could use the fire power, sir." 

Now the younger man looks eager. "And Gairwyn said she'd take us there." 

Okay. He wants to go look at the shiny alien technology. He wants to see if they have another de-Goa'ulding device or a laser to beam them all home without opening fire or something. Daniel is an optimist. Daniel is a dreamer. And Jack really loves that about him. It couldn't hurt to check it out, and if they really were going to go head to head with Heru'ur's army, at least Daniel's last day could be spent doing what he loves best – playing in the dirt. 

Besides, if an all-out attack comes, the Hall of Thor's Might just might be the safest place to stash Daniel. 

Jack makes a decision. 

"Well, much as I hate to admit it, it sounds like our old buddy Thor is our best bet. Why don't you two try to find this... weapon, or whatever it is? Teal'c and I'll lay some explosives... see if we can slow the attack." 

"Yes, sir." Good old Carter. Never gives him any trouble. 

He silently looks at Daniel, willing him to hear the order to be careful, and sets off to lay down some landmines. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

In the Hall of Might, they have to cross a slender beam over a great canyon and Gairwyn stumbles. She cowers on the beam and gapes at the infinite drop below her. Daniel goes out to rescue her.

"Yeah, I'm right behind you now. Almost there…. Okay... now, what we're gonna do here, you're gonna give me your hand. I'm gonna help you get you back on track... and then we're gonna finish this thing together. Okay? Okay." 

Just as Daniel bends down to help her, the beam gives way and both Daniel and Gairwyn tumble downward. 

Sam is momentarily stunned, but then sees both of them lying on the floor. She slowly walks over to them. 

"Are you guys okay?" They nod. "Okay. So... uh... what was that all about?" 

Thor appears as a hologram of a large, red-headed, long-bearded Viking. 

"You have shown true selflessness and bravery. Willingness to sacrifice oneself to save another is an honorable trait. I salute you. Now you must add wisdom to courage. Solve the riddle of the runes and I will show you my true might." 

The hologram disappears. They move closer to the obelisk, shining their flashlights on it. 

All this doesn't sit right with Daniel. "How did he know what we did?" 

Sam looks around. "There must be some sort of advanced sensors in here. So, uh, now what?" 

A beam washes over them again and they are transported to another room. He really doesn't like being beamed places. 

There are four runes on the wall, illuminated by a fire in the center of the room. 

Daniel licks his lips. "Now we try to solve the riddle of the runes." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack runs through the forest, Teal'c and Olaf close behind him. In the distance, a horn blows.

"What's going on, Teal'c?" 

"They are signaling their position. They will close into an interlaced pattern that will sweep in and corner us. It is an old Jaffa hunting technique." 

Great. Just super. "Come on, Daniel." Daniel is brilliant. Daniel will find them their weapons and Jack will blow shit up. It's what they do. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

So they've realized that the symbols on the wall are numbers which spell out pi and that they must draw a line in the sand circle to illustrate they've found the circumference of a circle by measuring the radius.

Daniel sort of understands, but is so, so very glad Sam came with him on this one. 

The sand begins moving and an orb is pushed through. It glows red; ornate gold markings suddenly appear. "That's it." 

Daniel touches the orb and the hologram dissolves to reveal a projection of Thor... the real one. 

He turns to see. "Oh, my God." Chills down his spine. 

"I am the actual one... whom you know as Thor." 

Well. Shit. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack rushes into the caves and orders Olaf to get his people to safety. "Olaf, get your people as far back into the cave as possible. Keep them quiet! Put the fires out." God, so many people. He can't possibly defend all of them.

There was a time, like on Chulak, when the very notion of trying to save everyone would have been automatically ruled out as a statistical impossibility. Black Ops training would have had him focus solely on getting his team home. But since he's gotten to know Daniel… every life is precious. 

He turns to Teal'c. "How're we doing?" 

"We have been located, O'Neill." 

Fuck. He sighs. "Come _on_ , Daniel." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel tries to explain to the little gray alien in the real-time holograph projection that this world is under attack.

"Impossible. Cimmeria is a safe world," it says. 

Daniel sighs. Oh boy. "Yeah... we sorta messed that up." 

"Oh, Daniel... careful," Sam cautions. 

He turns to her. He's not gonna lie about this. He's not gonna _lie_ about the hardest thing he's ever done in his life. Jack made him do it. And if Jack made him do it, then the reason was worthy. "If we want them to be our friends, we have to show them they can trust us." 

Turning to Thor, Daniel explains, "You see, we came here a year ago to meet you and your people, to make an alliance against the Goa'uld. One of our party, a Jaffa, was trapped in your labyrinth." 

Thor squints. Huh. Daniel didn't think they could squint. "The Jaffa serve the Goa'uld." 

"This one does not," Gairwyn says quickly. "He stands with them, and now with us, to fight the Etins." 

Yeah, exactly. The Etins. "You see, so, we had no choice but to destroy the hammer to free our friend." 

Now Thor actually glares. "And by doing so, you have opened Cimmeria to attack by the Goa'uld." 

Christ. Is there anything he touches that doesn't get damaged? "Yeah, apparently." 

"So, uh…." Sam shifts her weight, nervous for him. "If you have any weapons that might be of help, we would really like to set things straight." 

"Weapons?" Thor asks. 

Yes. Weapons. Bang. Boom. Jack was going to _kill_ him, slowly, if the Asgard didn't have weapons technology. 

"Isn't that what all those tests were here to protect?" he asks nervously. 

"The tests were designed to tell us when the Cimmerians would be advanced enough to see us as we really are. We did not anticipate outside interference." Again with the glaring. 

"Well, you see, we don't – we didn't mean to interfere." Daniel starts gesticulating, gathering his thoughts, when Thor disappears. "No, wait!" 

The beam shoots out of the obelisk again. Sam and Daniel are back out in the forest in front of the first obelisk. 

Daniel looks around. Shit. "Where's Gairwyn?" 

Sam's mouth tightens. "Good question." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They run back to the caves. Daniel worries his lip when they meet up with Teal'c and Jack.

Jack smiles like he doesn't really mean it. "That's timing for you. The parade's about to begin." 

Sam looks over her shoulder. "They're getting pretty close. How many are out there?" 

"We are outnumbered approximately twenty-to-one." Daniel holds Teal'c's gaze as the Jaffa says this. 

"Daniel, you look suspiciously empty-handed." Jack's raking him with his eyes. 

"Yerr...yeah." Crap. Jack is not going to like this. They are going to fight again and he hates it when they do that. 

Jack's nostrils flare a bit. "Y-y-yeah what?" 

He sighs and squares his shoulders. "There's nothing, Jack." 

"Nothing?" 

"Well, we did meet the real Thor," Sam says. She's always trying to mediate between them. 

"Did you, now?" Jack's smile is feral. "Nice fella?" 

Outside there's an explosion that rocks the caves. "All right. Here we go." Jack switches completely into colonel-mode, which Daniel admits, would be a bit of a turn-on if they weren't sorta about to die. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

From the looks of things, Jack knows they can't win. They can maybe hold the Jaffa off long enough for a few Cimmerians to run and hide, but that's about it. It's a matter of time, but it's not in Jack's nature to give up. Ever.

"Intruders... from the Chaapa-ai!" A Jaffa guard screams. "Throw down your weapons! Surrender now and the slaves of this world will be allowed to live and serve Heru'ur! Fight, and they will all die!" 

Carter looks to him searchingly. "Colonel, we don't have enough weapons to go around." 

No shit. 

"They will all be killed, O'Neill. Women and children included." 

And what can he do about it, Teal'c? 

"If we are responsible for this invasion, we can't allow that to happen." Daniel too. Daniel, looking desperate and hopeful and like Jack's a hero or something. Do they all think he's some kind of miracle worker? 

Jack turns to see a young child clutch at his mother's legs. Thinks of Charlie. Then he looks back at the Horus guards and knows – if SG-1 surrenders, they might leave the Cimmerians alive. He raises his weapon in a show of surrender. The rest of his team soon follow suit. 

"Take care of your people," he says to Olaf, knowing full-well they are going to become slaves unless Hammond calls in backup to save the day. 

They are escorted to Heru'ur by a whole host of Jaffa. 

Daniel smiles softly at him. It reminds Jack of their last morning together, when he woke Daniel up by peppering his chin with kisses. "Before they rode into battle, the Sioux used to say ‘This is a good day to die.'" 

Jack smacks Daniel's arm. He's not gonna let them die. Daniel _can't_ die, he's got nine lives or something. 

Suddenly there is a loud clap of thunder. Everyone stops walking and looks skyward. Dark grey, black, rolling puffs of cirrocumulus, right overhead. Now that's just not natural. Even the Jaffa seem intimidated. 

Daniel frowns. "Then again, maybe not." 

What? Huh? Daniel taps Jack's back to get his attention. He looks up to see a massive storm cloud forming over the pyramids. 

"Oh... my!" He looks to Daniel for some sort of explanation. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, I think this is... Thor's Chariot." The younger man smiles at him, 

He could kiss Daniel, he really could. 

An Asgard mothership descends through the cloud. 

"I've heard them described in Jaffa legend," Teal'c says with wonder. 

Suddenly, beams of light engulf the Jaffa and they disappear. Heru'ur walks through the Stargate just as the Asgard take his entire camp and the pyramids away with beams of light. 

Then Gairwyn is deposited on the road behind them. It is, quite possibly, the best and fastest emergency road-side assistance Jack's ever seen. 

Gairwyn smiles. "The Etins are gone. Thor sends his thanks. It was your help that made this possible." She looks… different. 

The clouds roll back and away, as if they were never there. Jack wonders if they were. Maybe it was a hologram. His instincts say smoke and mirrors. 

Daniel walks up to her. "Well, to be honest with you, I think we got kinda lucky." 

"He told me to give you a message to satisfy your curiosity. I'm to tell you he's a member of a species who have visited your world often. They are a friend to all, protector of all... except the Goa'uld, with whom they are at war." 

Okay. His kind of… people. "Well, that's very nice... but I'd still like to meet the old guy." Pump him for some information. Bring him a beam-me-up-Scotty ray — 

"Well, he said that, like us, you're still much too young. For us there is still much to rebuild." Jack realizes it now. Gairwyn holds herself and speaks a lot more like Kendra. Like a leader, shouldering responsibility wisely. "Thor has promised to leave an Asgard teacher behind to help us." 

Teal'c seems so relieved. "Then Cimmeria will be a safe world again. That is good." 

Yes. And no one has to die. He didn't have to blow anything up. All in all? An okay day. 

"Yes, it is," she agrees. "I'm to tell you that Thor's new hammer will make an exception for the one called Teal'c. You are welcome here any time." 

Aw. That just warms his heart. 

He grins at Teal'c and shepherds his kids through the gate. George is gonna have a million questions.… 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel sat on the highest bleacher, squinting at the papers strewn about him. It had been a week since they'd returned from Cimmeria.

Every once in a while, he glanced over at the pitcher's mound – Hammond had suggested they let off some steam by doing team-building exercises and Jack's solution to this was to teach Teal'c baseball at the local high school's field. 

Sam seemed very eager to spend some time bonding with her CO, although it had been a bit of a challenge getting her out of the lab. Once she was in the thick of it, however, her natural competitive streak came through. She and Jack took turns offering advice to Teal'c, who weathered it all with the sort of indulgence one might display towards children. 

"Lean back into it, and then twist from the torso, Teal'c." Jack sneaked a glance at Daniel and then looked back down before Daniel could even pretend he was reading. "Baseball is a subtle sport. It's all about signals." 

Daniel snickered. 

"Right, Daniel?" Jack called to him. 

Shuffling his papers, Daniel nodded absently. 

"I don't think he really heard you, sir," Sam said. 

"Carter, this is baseball. You don't have to call me sir." 

Daniel looked up at this. He knew it was wrong of him, but sometimes he got a little teensy bit jealous at the way Jack seemed to flirt with Sam. 

"Right. So you don't have to call me Carter, then." 

Jack looked… like he just sucked on something sour. "Right. Sam. Samantha. Samantha Carter." 

Teal'c raised his eyebrow and Daniel had to hide his guffaw behind his papers. 

"Right. Daniel? Let's go," Jack said. 

"Ahmm… I'm really not… that… into sports." Was there any way he could get out of this? 

"I have it on the best authority that you are quite physically fit." Jack smiled. 

Sam frowned and Teal'c's eyebrow reached new heights. Daniel was pretty sure the Jaffa had figured out what had gone on between them recently. On base, Jack was professional – well as professional as Jack could be – and Daniel was always discrete. But off base, they couldn't keep their hands off each other and he was sure Teal'c had picked up on it. Luckily Sam was clueless about that stuff. 

Daniel shot Jack a warning look. 

"I mean," Jack clarified, shifting weight impatiently, "I'm your commanding officer and believe it or not, I _do_ read your fitness reports. You should be able to hit some balls without dying of a heart attack." 

Daniel chewed on the end of his pen during Jack's little back-peddling session. "Uh huh. I don't suppose my not _wanting_ to do this makes a difference?" 

Sam smiled, shielding her eyes from the sun. 

"Danny boy, this is a team-building exercise. You telling me you wanna let down your _team_?" Jack swung the bat from side to side. 

Sighing, Daniel started packing up his papers. "This is emotional blackmail. I don't like sports. I don't see why team-building has to involve recreational sports. We could solve puzzles or riddles or something." 

"'Atta boy," Jack said when Daniel hopped off the bleachers. 

"Right, so, what do I do?" Daniel asked, squinting again. 

"Did you forget your glasses, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c asked. 

"Yeah, I left them at home today. I thought we had the day off," he said, glaring at Jack. Actually, he left them on Jack's dresser, because Jack's unusually frisky in the mornings – damn morning people, anyway – and Daniel was too brain-fried after the amazing oral sex to remember his name, let alone his glasses. 

Jack shrugged. "You think you can see the ball?" 

"Provided it's not moving very fast from far away," Daniel said, hiding a smile when Jack looked heavenward and handed him the bat. "So, I take it the object is to stand here and hit the ball?" 

Jack blinked. Teal'c blinked. Sam, standing on the pitcher's mound, cocked her head to the side. The sun came out from behind a cloud, warming his back, and Daniel waited. And waited. 

Slight veins appeared just below Jack's baseball cap. "You _have_ played baseball before, right, Daniel?" 

"Ah, no." 

"No?" 

"No. Seen it on television, of course…." 

"It is my first experience with this game as well," Teal'c said happily. Well, happily for Teal'c. "We shall learn together." 

"I don't believe it!" Jack shouted. "How could you not have – are you kidding – all those foster homes and _no one_ played baseball with you? Not even once?" 

This pissed Daniel off just a tad. Jack could be so uncouth. No, no one ever took the time to play catch with him. Rub it in. 

Sam looked uncomfortable. The last thing he wanted was for his teammates to feel sorry for little orphan Danny. "I —" 

Jack put a hand on his arm then and Daniel had to swallow back a girlish yelp. Warmth spread from Jack's fingers and it felt ridiculously good and he was standing close enough that Daniel could smell that shampoo and oh God, oh, God, please don't let him get hard right now…. 

"It's all right, Daniel. Now's as good a time as any to learn," Jack said, feeling a tad more sensitive, apparently. "Come here." 

Instinctively, Daniel let Jack lead him to the plate, turn him around, and position his stance. Nimble fingers dug into his hips, adjusted him just so, and he took aim with the bat — 

"Ow!" 

Oh, shit, he had tapped Jack on the forehead! "Sorry! Did I get you?" 

"Watch it with that thing," Jack said, his hands wrapped around Daniel's upper arms to steady the bat. 

"Sorry. I told you, I'm not exactly Sporty Spice." 

Jack snickered. "Yeah, but you've got killer instincts. Literally." He took Daniel's hands between his own and led them through the motions of a swing. "Look, this is simple. And I know that means it's going to be hard for you —" 

"Jack —" Daniel said, his voice rising slightly. This felt really stupid. Stupider than ice skating. He was a grown man. 

"Relax. Stop gripping the bat like you've got something against it." 

Daniel relaxed. 

"Good. This isn't complicated. Nothing I enjoy is ever very complicated, Daniel." 

Daniel considered himself complicated. Their situation was definitely complicated. And baseball? Well…. He sniffed. 

Jack leaned in closer and Daniel could practically feel his body heat through the thin tee shirt. "Good. Very good. Now, hold it up a little higher for more leverage. You want to twist from the waist and let all your power out from your shoulder on down to your… yes, that's it." 

"Okay, got it, thanks," Daniel said, shrugging Jack off before he embarrassed himself. 

"Now all ya gotta do is keep your eye on the ball." 

"I can barely see Sam, Jack." 

"Don't worry, Daniel," Sam called, "I'll pitch slow and underhanded." 

"Great. So I can look like a bigger moron," Daniel muttered to himself. At least the sun was behind him. 

"Nobody gets it perfect right off the bat," Jack said. "These things take practice. You gotta allow for mistakes." 

Daniel pressed his lips together. He murmured, "Subtle, Jack." 

Jack shrugged and nodded to Sam. "Eye on the ball." 

"Good luck to you, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said behind Jack. 

Daniel stuck his tongue between his teeth. "Eye on the ball. Right." 

A fuzzy white orb flew at him at medium speed…. Crack! 

The ball shot over Sam's head and deep into the center field. "I got it! Oh wow, Jack, did you see? I hit it!" 

Daniel looked over – then down – to find Jack crouching over, palm pressed to his forehead. "Jack?" 

"Yeah," Jack said, straightening, a small lump forming on his head. "Yeah, good job, Danny." 

Shit. "Did I get you again?" 

Jack smiled. "You got the ball. And first try, too." Proud papa moment. 

Daniel let the bat drop and went over to inspect Jack's head. "I'm sorry. Twice. Damn, what are the odds?" 

A mischievous grin that could only belong to Jack spread slow and sweet. "I'll live. Head's thick enough." 

"That's for sure." Daniel smiled back, feeling kinda warm and fuzzy on the inside. Which was silly, of course. A bunch of adults playing baseball in the middle of the week when they should be gearing up for their next mission through the gate – but it was nice, actually. 

Warm sun. Soft Spring skies. They hadn't had a chance to relax together since the incident on Apophis' ship. Things seemed to slip back to normal. 

Sam was smiling, making a beeline for the picnic basket she brought – which promptly caused Jack and Teal'c to exchange knowing, wary glances. Jack was in his element, teaching Teal'c the finer points of America's favorite past time. And thanks to Jack's insistence, Daniel felt included, instead of just a spectator on the sidelines, young, gangly, and hiding behind a book. 

Everything would have been perfect, except for the fact that just those light few touches from Jack had made Daniel painfully, painfully eager to get Jack alone. It was like a Pavlovian reaction or something – Jack touched Daniel; Daniel got hard. 

He sighed, accepting a water bottle from Teal'c. He was so, so gay. Okay, bi. Whatever. Labels were stupid. 

These past few weeks had been strained but not awful. Jack clearly wasn't embarrassed anymore about sleeping together, which was surprising, but in a way, made sense. They'd been sleeping side by side for almost a year. They'd fought with and for one another, they'd lost each other, and found each other again. Jack was remarkably adaptable to any situation. 

It only made sense to take the emotional intimacy one step further into the physical, didn't it? 

Didn't it? 

Intimacy. 

If Daniel was to be one-hundred-percent honest with himself, he'd cheated on Sha're a long time ago. Jack and he had formed a bond that just seemed ludicrous to try and deny now. He's not sure how and or when – it just sorta crept up on them both. They were such an unlikely… well, couple. 

But they fit. 

If Daniel was really honest with himself, he'd have to admit that he was more intimately connected with Jack than with Sha're, at this point. 

And that made him feel horribly guilty. But then again, he hadn't gone looking for a substitute for Sha're. For that closeness and sense of family that she gave him. He didn't want to betray that. Daniel took loyalty seriously. 

So did Jack. 

It was one of the few things on which they had common ground. Jack was _fiercely_ loyal. Which made Daniel wonder, just how much did he mean to Jack, if Jack was willing to break the regs and bend the rules, cause him to break his vows and bend his sexuality every which way until Sunday? 

Either Jack was extremely hard up, or he felt about Daniel… what? What, realistically? Jack said that he cared for Daniel…. But in what way, exactly? 

In some respects, Jack treated Daniel like a kid. The baseball lesson today was just one recent example. But other times, Jack went to Daniel with problems like he was a miracle worker – the _faith_ Jack had in him – to fix it, to come up with alternatives, to master whatever the situation required – that was both flattering and addictive. 

Juxtapose that with Jack cutting him off, Jack dismissing his requests, Jack fighting a mature conversation every step of the way – and it left Daniel totally clueless as to how Jack really felt about him. 

Because if the nights were anything to go by – with Jack's warm breath panting in his ear, Jack's moans and sighs and kisses battering up against him, assaulting his senses, Jack's hands, rough and possessive on him, in him, oh God, in him, filling him, burning and stretching and breaking everything down to it's most basic, it's most pure element – if that was anything to go by, then Jack O'Neill was dangerously in love with him. 

Which was an idea Daniel Jackson simply would _not ever_ entertain. 

He'd betrayed Sha're enough. 

It had to stop. It would stop. It had to be over. A one-time brief descent into madness. 

"Daniel?" 

"Huh?" He looked up to see Jack holding a roast beef sandwich out to him. 

"I said, can I tempt you?" The older man waved the sandwich back and forth under his nose. 

"Yeah…." He blushed a bit. "Yeah." 

Sam struck up a conversation about the new equipment they'll be getting soon. She said something about the camcorder Daniel ordered to help with translations, and he nodded and kept up the chatter while Teal'c passes out plates and napkins. 

They sat down to eat, and Daniel kept his eyes on his food, mostly because he knew Jack was keeping an eye on him…. 

What was he going to do? 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

A very quiet Saturday morning. Jack's house was back far enough into the woods such that the traffic from the road never intruded.

An overcast day, gray and bleak, suited to Daniel's mood. In a few minutes, he'd have another cup of coffee, grab a shower, and head into the mountain to pore over more Ancient texts and send another distress signal to their allies. 

Same old bullshit for weeks now. 

For absolutely no particular reason, he got up, bare feet padding on the floor, boxers clinging just a bit, and went to the garage. 

Doesn't really come here that much. Too many memories. He and Jack really had fucked like minks just about everywhere in this house. But the garage…. Daniel couldn't even handle the memories of the garage. 

Looked at the scuffmarks on the concrete, where Jack had built his shelves. At the truck that Daniel made sure to turn over once a week to keep the battery going. Took in the tools hanging on the wall. And the old-fashioned baseball bat. 

Picked it up, rolled it over in his hands. Smooth. He remembered the first time he ever held one. 

Everything in this damned house seemed loaded. 

Daniel swung the bat back and forth and thought about nothing and everything all at once, and before he knew it, he was panting, sweating, and the broken wood dangling from his hand; splinters smattered across the floor. 

Jack. What was he going to do? 

~*~


	30. Nuntius en un Lagoena

**30\. Nuntius en un Lagoena**

 

 

 

 

 

SG-1 walks on the moon-like surface of P5C-353. They come to a temple or forum of some sort. Daniel doesn't like wearing the astronaut suits, he wants to get his hands on things, touch them, make them real – something he picked up from Jack. But the extra layers of sealed-off protection do give him a sense of security. Going to a new world, as he has learned in the Land of Light, presents a whole host of immuno-exposure problems.

Sam notes a metallic sphere in the center of a room, which is giving off the same EM frequency they picked up on the MALP. Daniel suggests the artifact is very old and has been giving off energy probably since Neanderthals were still a dominant species on Earth. 

"Ah, that takes me back," Jack says. 

Daniel blushes a bit but refuses to even look at the older man. Jack never misses a chance to tease him about ‘going caveman,' and it drives Daniel toward the slightly… prissier… sides of his personality. 

He sniffs. "Look at this writing of some kind; it's so tiny." 

Jack is immediately suspicious. Which is just Jack being Jack. "What does it do?" 

Who knows? He hopes Jack will let them take it back. 

Sam reads her scanner. "Well, it's maintaining an interior temperature of thirty-three-degrees Fahrenheit; it's generating an electromagnetic field and emitting small amounts of alpha, gamma, and delta radiation." 

Yeah. That will make about as much sense to Jack as saying it in Latin… backwards. 

"Well I know _that_ ," Jack says haughtily. Daniel smothers a snicker. "Why does it _do_ that? I'm trying to make a threat assessment here, Captain." 

Good old Jack. Always protecting his kids. 

"I don't know what it is, sir. But it's got a power source more advanced then anything we've come across, including the Goa'uld." Sam looks slightly amazed. 

Up until this point, Daniel's only been paying attention with one ear. Mostly he's been focused on the artifact. "It's a time capsule," he says suddenly. 

Jack quirks a brow. 

"Well, that's an educated guess, but imagine your civilization is facing a major cataclysm. The end is coming; you know it. Wouldn't you leave something behind? Something that told everyone that came after you who you were." He's seen this sort of thing over and over on digs. 

"Or how you died," Teal'c says, following the thread. 

He nods. "Yes. Imagine what you could learn about your own fate." The hairs on the back of his neck stick up. Daniel loves, more than anything, _learning_ something, and now he's praying to every God he's read about that Jack will let him take this home. 

Teal'c steps closer. "When a Goa'uld's world is taken by another in battle, he will sometimes leave behind the means to destroy the conqueror." 

Jack seizes on that. "You think it might be a booby trap?" 

Crap. 

"Booby?" Teal'c does that thing with his eyebrow. 

Daniel can sense Jack is _this_ close to losing it. Better get them back on track. 

"I don't think we're talking about the Goa'uld here. Whoever this civilization was went through great pains to leave this artifact behind. Like a message in a bottle." He straightens. His lower back's been bothering him a bit lately – probably due to all the strange positions Jack's been twisting him into during their more adventurous workouts. 

Which Daniel is absolutely not thinking about on a mission. 

Jack looks to Teal'c. "You buying this, Teal'c?" 

Daniel thins his lips. It's been well over a year and Jack is _still_ treating him like a flake on missions. This shit has got to stop. 

Teal'c looks at Daniel with something like sympathy. Maybe. If Teal'c's face ever conveyed emotion, that is. "The benefit may outweigh the risk." 

Sam steps in to defend him, as always. "The earth sure could use a power source that lasts for thousands of years." 

Yes, good point. Wise of Sam to show the utility of the object. But why does Jack always have to turn to the others before taking Daniel's advice seriously? Doesn't he trust Daniel? Or is he afraid it will look like he's playing favorites and people will catch on that they're… um… they're… together. Sorta. That hasn't really been worked out yet. 

Jack sighs. "All right. Pack it up. Let's go home." 

"Yes, sir." Sam smiles at him and Daniel can only return the sentiment. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

The artifact is secured for analysis. Sam works on it with Daniel in the lab. Siler is in the control booth behind them with the new guy, Graham.

"Well," she says happily, "We can add two more elements to the periodic table. Lieutenant, I'd like to record this." 

Daniel shoots her a look. 

"Whatever you say, Captain," he chirps back eagerly. 

"Try to relax, Graham, or it's going to be a long day." She has a slight headache, as she sometimes gets when coming back from off-world, but this is too important to wait. 

"You know I don't think it's the artifact. He gets nervous like that every time he's around you," Daniel says quietly. She loves Daniel like a brother but… "Maybe a crush." 

She's about to say that she would never, ever, seek a relationship with someone in the chain of command, when the intercom cracks. 

"Um, we're recording now," the kid drones. 

Holy Hannah. "Thank you, Lieutenant." Sam glances at Daniel. 

At least he has the decency to blush. "Oops. Hey, the artifact. Notice the writing." He twists his lips and acts like nothing had happened. It reminds her of Colonel O'Neill. 

No choice but to love Daniel. Otherwise, she's not sure she could get the bloodstains out. 

They lean in, looking at a computer screen with the alien language. Daniel smells faintly of Colonel O'Neill, but she doesn't think much about it, because the less she thinks about her teammates' cleaning habits in the shower and the locker room, the better. 

"I'm thinking it's numerical," Daniel blurts out. He really is an original thinker and that's one of the reasons she likes him so much. 

"Well, maybe the basis of their mathematics." 

"Right. That's what I thought." He switches weight from foot to foot, like he always does when excited. "So if these smaller symbols would represent exponents…." 

"So then this sequence grows exponentially to become… a very big number," she adds. 

"Right." He looks blankly ahead. "And that is information I can't use." 

Just then Colonel O'Neill walks into the room, looking quite chipper. 

"Good morning, campers! Sleep well? I did!" He seems to be saying this almost directly to Daniel. 

Sam sometimes thinks the colonel takes his mother-hen routine a bit far with Daniel; after all, he's not as green or little-boy-lost as he was when he first joined the team, and why should it matter what time Daniel gets to bed? 

"Oh, it can't be morning," Daniel says, slightly horrified. 

"Ah, but it is." The colonel's eyes are… kind of twinkling. "We ship out at, oh… thirteen hundred hours." 

Eek. That's so soon. 

"Okay Jack, talk to General Hammond." 

Sam wants to smile at the way Daniel just talks to their CO like he's, well, a normal everyday guy, and commands him to talk to the general to get his way. 

"Nope. I want you both rested and ready to go. That's an order." Colonel O'Neill slaps his hands together and she straightens her spine out of pure reflex. 

"Yes, sir." 

Oh, but Daniel isn't done. "Jack, come on." she's not, so.… 

"Daniel, SG-1 is a field unit. You know that. Can't have it both ways. When we get back you can...visit." There is a definite twinkle in that man's eye, which, if she were a lesser woman, would make her positively shudder. 

Suddenly Siler interrupts. "We've got a spike. An EM spike across the Y band." 

Ah geez! "What?" she says. 

"Interior temperature is increasing forty-degrees Fahrenheit." 

The colonel looks to her, of course. "Captain?" 

"I don't know. I don't think we've done anything." 

Daniel steps back. "Maybe we woke it up." 

"Sixty-degrees," Siler channels. 

Now Sam steps back. "Radiation levels?" 

Graham sounds worried. "Alpha particle radiation generation within the object's magnetic field is increased four... six hundred percent." 

Oh boy. "Sir, I recommend we return the artifact to P5C-353 _now_." 

Jack snaps his fingers at Daniel. "Go tell them to start dialing. Go." 

For once Daniel jumps to obey. 

"One-hundred-degrees," Siler reports. 

The colonel looks at her intently. "Any idea what we're dealing with here?" 

She really, really wants to have all the answers for him, but it doesn't make any sense. "No, sir." 

The artifact splits open down the middle, emitting a purplish glowing light. 

"Well, I think we can rule out time capsule," the colonel jokes. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack has a very, very bad feeling about this. The thing is glowing and heating up and it reminds him of that awful experience he once had with Jiffy Pop in the fourth grade that resulted in a small kitchen fire and him and two brothers being grounded for a week. And, seriously? This looks a little worse.

"We'll need to put our suits back on," Carter says. 

Shaking his head, Jack nods to the door. "No. There's no time for that. We'll just open the gate and throw it back through." God damn it, he thinks. Daniel. "Teal'c, give me a hand here." 

The sphere produces four spears from the top, bottom, and sides. All by itself. It's creepy. 

"Whoa!" He looks at Teal'c. Is it alive? Okay, that would make it a lot worse than the Jiffy Pop thing. 

Teal'c frowns. "It does not wish to be removed." 

Jack growls, "That's too damn bad." He is really, really going to have to talk to George when this is all over about not letting Daniel just bring any damn thing he pleased back through the gate. 

They run to the embarkation room, the booby trap gripped in his sweaty hands. 

"Out of the way, people!" he barks. 

No sooner does the Stargate engage than one of the artifact's spears jet from the bottom of the sphere to the floor. Both he and the big guy jump back. More spears appear, causing the artifact to sorta… float there in the middle of the room. This looks so not good. 

And in one tick of his watch, another spear shoots out and impales his shoulder, dragging him with it, _nailing_ him to the wall. 

"Ah! Oh God!" Sheer, white, blinding agony. 

"Get security down there. Put the base on full alert!" Hammond screams. 

"We need a medical team!" he can hear Carter call out. 

Davis summons, "Security to the embarkation room. Medical team to the embarkation room!" 

Oh God. Oh sweet God, it hurts so much. Like fire in his shoulder bone. Nothing ever hurt this bad, not even in Iraq. Get it out. Get it out. _Get it out._

Teal'c runs over to him and tries to dislodge the spear. He grabs up the man's shirt. 

"Kill it! God!" he grunts out. Time seems to stretch thin, so that every second is a lifetime and every single one brings new definitions of pain. 

"Sir, the umm, Stargate?" he can hear Davis in the background. 

George's voice, soft with worry. "Shut it down." 

The sphere floats in place in front of the Stargate, suspended by five spears, one of which is pinning Jack to the wall like Christ on the cross. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he thinks of his father, but the thought vanishes like breath on a mirror. 

Carter, Daniel, and George all run into the embarkation room and gather around him. 

"Colonel!" Carter gasps. "It goes right through his shoulder into the concrete." 

"Oh my God." Now that's Daniel. 

Strange what the brain comes up with in moments of extreme excruciation. Jack can see, through his unshed tears, that Daniel is in shock. The young man looks very pale, and Jack thinks that must mean he's not looking so great either, and he wants to reassure Daniel some way, but he's just speechless. 

"Get something to support his legs," George orders. Yes, yes, take the weight off. God! 

Fraiser comes into the room and heads toward him. Then Siler comes in and takes measurements of the damned sphere. These people, the sounds, the sensations, they swirl around him, like the snow flurries of his Minnesota youth, dizzying and bitter and timeless – patterns in randomness; order in chaos. 

The doc looks worried. "What can you tell me?" 

"I don't know but it's still hot, be careful," Sam cautions her. 

"Temperature is one-thirty-three and holding," Siler says. 

Yes, that's fucking _hot_. 

Fraiser looks him over. "This wound is too clean. There should be blood. I don't know why there wasn't more trauma." 

More trauma? More trauma! What the _hell_ is wrong with those scientist types? 

"Where the hell is Teal'c?" he demands. 

"It's gone right through the scapula," she says. "Colonel, why are –" 

"Teal'c!" he screeches. 

The Jaffa runs into the room with his staff weapon. 

"Shoot it!" he belts out. Oh God, he's going to cry right in front of the entire SGC, isn't he? 

"Sir," Carter protests. 

"Shoot it!" 

"I suggest you observe from the control room," Teal'c says. He's so very glad that the Jaffa is stupidly loyal to him. 

As everyone leaves and the gate room is sealed, Jack manages to find a way to breathe, and he sucks in air and blows it out, like he's gonna give birth. 

"Do it," Jack orders. 

Teal'c fires the staff into the sphere. The energy radiates into him and it _hurts_. 

"Again!" he bites off. 

Teal'c fires again and more energy shoots into him. Through him. Every nerve a thread of flame. 

"Ah! God." 

"This weapon is ineffective. I shall try another," Teal'c says. 

"No!" Carter yells over the intercom. "Sir, that staff energy had to have gone somewhere. We could be feeding it what it wants for all we know." 

Great. Just great. Not so much. 

He's going in and out of focus. Daniel…. Where's Daniel? Why would Daniel leave him alone? 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

General Hammond's office is cold. Literally. Daniel can't feel his hands; they're numb and stiff. Fear, perhaps.

Hammond hangs up the red phone. The red one. Daniel knows what that means, it means it was an important call with the Washington types, but beyond that, he can't really seem to focus. 

He sits across from the general with Sam, fear and worry like two fists gripping his stomach. 

"The NID people want to see it," Hammond says. 

Sam looks taken aback. "Even knowing what it's done to the colonel?" 

Daniel sighs. "Especially knowing what it's done to the colonel." Those bastards want to turn Jack into a lab rat and figure out some kind of way to turn the time capsule… er, booby trap… into a… bigger booby trap. 

Balls up his fists and puts them under his arms, hoping that might warm them up. Hugs himself a little. 

"They're hoping we've found some kind of weapon we can one day use against the Goa'uld. All I can tell them is what it isn't." The general shrugs. 

God, he feels so guilty. He never should have pressed. Jack was right to be suspicious, and now he's in there, hanging from the God damned wall, and there's not a thing he can do about it. Jack doesn't even want to see him, won't open his eyes, and Daniel hasn't felt so inadequate since Apophis took Sha're. 

"General, I don't know what to say. I wanted the artifact to be something wonderful." He wrings his hands. 

"You have nothing to apologize for, son," Hammond says kindly. "We've brought things back from all over the galaxy. This one just finally slapped us in the face." 

Daniel and Sam request to work on solutions for getting Jack free. Hammond agrees and they head straight for the lab, to round up the other ‘geeks' as Jack would call them. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Siler is taking measurements and working on cutting the sphere with a blowtorch. Fraiser and Teal'c are nearby, and now Daniel stands before him. Jack nearly slips off his ladder.

Daniel's face is gauzy; he can't see. "Hot." It's hot. 

"I know," Janet says kindly. "You have a very high fever which is being caused by an infection. I'm going to give you a broad spectrum antibiotic to help fight it." 

He doesn't care. Just give it to him. 

Siler quietly says, "The artifact's internal temperature just leveled off at one-hundred-forty-nine-degrees Fahrenheit." 

"Sergeant. Your progress here is unsatisfactory," Teal'c admonishes. Poor Teal'c. Must be frustrating, not being able to help him, Jack thinks. He should take Daniel out of here; he doesn't want Daniel to see him weak. 

Take Daniel, he wants to say to Teal'c, but there's no spit in his mouth and it's hard enough just to breathe. 

"Can't go any faster, sir. This is the hardest stuff I've ever come across." 

"Then I will delay you no further," Teal'c says, coming back over to him. 

Take Daniel, Jack mouths, but it's no use. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel and Sam are talking to the geeks in the briefing room. They have papers and instruments strewn all over the table, and he's not sure if they're actually going to use any of it, but it's comforting to have something solid to play with while trying to come up with a plan to remove _Jack from the wall._ It's all Daniel can do not to sit and wait with Jack in the gate room, but he knows he's needed here more.

"We're going to need everyone's help. Colonel O'Neill is alive but obviously he is in trouble." Sam looks to him to take it from there. 

"The data we managed to gather before this happened is all in the base computer. It's not much but it's all we have. Use it," Daniel says to them. 

"Don't rule anything out and don't make any assumptions," Sam reminds them sternly. 

Daniel points to himself. "I'll be leading the translation team." 

"And we'll be working out of the astrophysics lab, but we're all going to have to work together on this one. Any questions?" 

A young captain speaks up. "So obviously we're dealing with a weapon?" 

Daniel, annoyed, comes close to tearing the man's head off. 

"That's an assumption, Captain." Sam handles it for him, which is good. Because, see, it's not her lover _tacked_ to the _wall_. "All right. Let's get to work." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few hours later, they've run the gamut from flesh-eating diseases to radioactive fumes. Using ultraviolet light, they scan the iris to check its integrity, only to discover bluish glittering dots all over Jack's arm, neck, and face, spreading up the wall and into the wires.

It's even on Siler. 

Alien invasion. Which is, of course, _just_ want Daniel wanted to hear. Because he wasn't crapping his pants already. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack can sense the change in everyone the moment the ultra violet light comes on. He opens his eyes and sees the bizarre colors, but he can't trust his vision at the moment.

"Teal'c," he calls weakly. 

"I am here, O'Neill." 

"It's hot." 

"The fever burns within you." 

God, he hopes it's not contagious. "You?" 

"The symbiote I carry appears to protect me." 

Good. He'd never forgive himself if he infected his team. "Way to go, Junior." 

Teal'c tenderly wipes the sweat from his face. It's gestures like that which carry far more weight with Jack than any words like – "Dr. Fraiser will find a cure." 

Highly unlikely. They can't cure half the crap on this planet, let alone some freak alien sphere fever thingy. God. Daniel…. "Teal'c, you don't have to stick around." 

Teal'c smiles. Sorta. "Undomesticated equines could not remove me." 

Is he hallucinating? No, must be the Jaffa got it wrong. "Wild horses, Teal'c… it's... that's a joke? You told a joke." He grins, starts to chuckle, and it burns like a motherfucker. "Don't make me laugh." 

"Very well." 

So loyal it makes his chest ache. He doesn't deserve it. Not after all the things he's done. Not after the secrets he's been keeping. Although he expects Teal'c has already figured out about Daniel. "You're a good man, my friend." 

"As are you, my friend." 

Somebody call Oprah. 

"Sir. I'm just about through here," Siler says. Jack's always liked Siler. Silent man; useful man. 

The sphere seems to power up. Just like the Jiffy Pop bag, it's got that scary, menacing whine thing that happens just before the whole thing blows. 

The part where the torch was cutting jets farther into the wall and goes deeper into his flesh. 

"Ah! _Teal'c_!" 

"It will not allow us to free you, O'Neill." 

He's crying now, for real. "God... God, help." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel and Sam have been working nonstop. He's so nervous he can't even drink coffee. They've determined that the sequence of numbers on the sphere represents some kind of exponential growth. Sam thinks it refers to the alien organism.

Said alien organism begins eating through the walls, the pipes, and the machines. It traps Sam in an elevator and he has to break her out using an axe. Which, frankly, is something Daniel never thought he'd find himself doing, but in light of glowing alien invasions, beaming in and out of secret chambers, and getting addicted to soul-sucking resurrection coffins… driving an axe to the elevator? Child's play. 

While stuck inside, Sam figures out that the alien virus, or whatever it is, needs oxygen to reproduce. She suggests they adjust the CO-2 scrubbers and lower the oxygen levels. 

At this point, Daniel will try anything…. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

O'Neill still hangs from the spear attached to the wall. Teal'c stays by his side, looking up at the man he has come to so admire.

"I blew it. I screwed up," O'Neill whispers to him. 

Teal'c is not sure to what the man is referring. The artifact? His son? His marriage? Daniel Jackson? He decides not to discuss anything directly until O'Neill brings it up. He has learned that humans are creatures of nuance, at times. 

"I also believed we should retrieve the object." 

"It was my decision." And there is the core and quintessential part of O'Neill. He carries all of them on his shoulders, as a true leader would. 

"If we are to meet the challenge of the Goa'uld, and further your race… risks must be taken. Your decision was correct." 

O'Neill smiles weakly at him. It breaks Teal'c's heart. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel sits on the edge of his stool in his lab, looking over some papers. He feels haggard. Hasn't had a shower in two days.

There are several people around the room working on things. The computers seem to be on the fritz. The screens start to pulsate with a symbol on them. 

He notices it and puts on his glasses for a better look. 

"Come here," he says to no one. 

"Who?" the young captain asks. 

"Anybody... just come here. Look at this. Wait for it. There." A symbol appears on the screen for a brief second. 

"That symbol is on the artifact," the young man says. 

He nods. "Yes it is." Question is… why? "It's trying to communicate with us." 

Once he's sure, Daniel runs into the control room and argues that the computer gibberish is in fact the alien organism, because it's been flashing symbols he hasn't yet had time to plug into the machine. 

"Assuming you're right, what are they trying to communicate?" the general asks. 

He shrugs. "Well, they could be saying ‘take me to your leader' for all I know. I have no idea. The point is, they are trying. We haven't even considered what we're up against here is an alien intelligence. We've treated it like a disease; like a plague. Not once have we stopped to listen." For which he blames himself entirely. _He's_ the team's communicator. 

"How do we do that?" Hammond frowns. 

Sam looks at him. "We let it grow. We increase the oxygen levels even higher then normal. We hit it with another staff weapon blast. We let it do what it's been trying to do." 

Hammond's frown deepens. "The exact opposite of the advice you've been giving me up until now. Which is it, Captain?" 

Sam sighs. "Sir, we both know what will happen if we don't try something." 

And there it is. Daniel is three seconds away from tearing the gate room apart. Thankfully, Hammond allows them to proceed. 

They increase the oxygen and stop giving Jack his medicine. Teal'c is distressed, convinced they will kill him. And Daniel doesn't know. He doesn't _know_. But Jack is looking weaker, hanging there unconscious, and they're running out of time and they have to try _something_! 

Eventually they convince Teal'c that Jack would want to try this, and he fires the staff several times. 

A few seconds later Jack's head comes up. 

"Good morning campers." Creepy monotone. Not Jack. So not Jack it sends a cold shiver up his spine. "This is truly a strange feeling." 

"Colonel?" Sam calls. Daniel can't yet speak. 

"Yes, he is here." 

Hammond straightens up. "Who else are we talking to?" 

"We are also here." Jack's eyes are… reflecting a strange inner light. It is truly another entity speaking. 

George seems uncertain. "My name is –" 

Jack interrupts, "Hammond, yes. O'Neill knows." 

This is just… this is just…. 

The general sighs. "Then you should also know we mean you no harm." 

Jack tilts his head. "You awoke us." 

"We have only recently become aware of your existence." Hammond's doing pretty good so far. At least he's able to speak. 

"You would have returned us to our former world." 

Teal'c steps in. "We believed you were a threat to us." 

"We feared you," Daniel explains. 

The thing in Jack goes cold. "And your fear would have destroyed us." A breath, a beat, and the coldness is gone. "Millennia ago our world was dying. We could no longer live there. For this reason, we created the orb." 

Daniel nods. Time capsule. He knew it. "Where you slept for a hundred-thousand years." 

Now Jack seems to warm to him. "Yes Daniel." 

"Waiting for someone to come along, like us, and take you through the Stargate." Yes. It all makes sense. 

"So it was written on the orb. Once exposed to the atmosphere of a living world, we went forth…." 

Oh, God. "And multiplied." 

Jack again nods. "So it was written." 

And that's when it all goes to hell. The intercom blares out that the auto-self-destruct command will activate in four minutes. 

"We cannot go back." Cold, cold. 

"We cannot allow you to stay," Hammond says, and Daniel wants to hit him. What about Jack? 

"O'Neill feels this as well. However, you have allowed us no alternatives." 

Jack is in there; Jack really is in there! Asking for alternatives! 

"General, we're almost out of time," Sam says. 

The general holds up his hands. "This place, admittedly out of our ignorance, is about to be destroyed by an explosion." 

"Such energy only serves to nourish us. We will multiply and consume your world." 

Jack, Jack, Jack! 

"If you would allow us to restore our communications, we could stop that from happening. We would survive," Hammond assures. 

"O'Neill desires this as well. He wishes to live. But what of us?" 

Alternatives, Daniel, think! "P4G-881! It's primordial, lots of oxygen and sunlight. Like this world was a quarter of a billion years ago." 

"Sir, we can't open the Stargate without the computers," Sam reminds. 

Jack's eyes widen. "You would send us there? Through your Stargate?" 

The general nods. "We would." 

"For what reason?" Apparently Jack isn't the only skeptical thing in that body.… 

"So that we both may survive." Hammond waits. 

Jack's head falls back with a little gasp. Oh, God, did it kill Jack? 

"We'll take you there ourselves! Please!" Daniel begs. 

All the power is lost in the control room. 

"Everything just shut down!" Davis says. 

Hammond shakes his head. "God help us." 

"Auto-self-destruct in two minutes." 

Suddenly, the computers start to light back up again. 

"Sir! Sir... I think the computers are rebooting!" 

"Start dialing P4G-881 as soon as they are up," the general orders. 

"Auto-self-destruct in one minute and thirty seconds." 

Jack walks up the ramp with the orb in his hand. 

"Auto-self-destruct in thirty seconds." 

Jack pushes the orb through the event horizon and then collapses to the ramp. 

"Ten. Nine…." The wormhole disengages and Hammond and Sam start to type in the overrides. "Four. Three. Two. One." 

Both codes are entered. 

"Auto-self-destruct aborted." 

Oh thank God. He almost wet his pants. 

He rushes down the stairs and into the gate room, up the ramp to Jack's side. Daniel's hand wraps around Jack's arm, desperate to touch the older man. Teal'c and then Sam join him and they all help Jack sit up. 

"Nice work." Jack says it to them all, but is looking at Daniel. Thanking him for the alternative. He looks so tired, but that voice, those eyes – it's his Jack. 

Daniel is so relieved he could burst. 

"It is good to see you alive and well," Teal'c says. 

"Welcome back, Jack," he says with all the warmth the SGC could allow them. 

"Thought you were gone for good, sir." 

Jack looks at her, then Teal'c, and finally his gaze rests on Daniel. "Wild horses, Captain." 

The three of them help Jack walk down the ramp, Daniel unable to let go for even a moment. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

It was adorable the way Daniel wouldn't leave his side. Teal'c graciously stepped into the background and Carter spent most of the time with Doc Fraiser, examining the x-rays and MRI results. His shoulder was completely healed and they _still_ wouldn't let him go home yet.

And they had better soon, because he knew of one archeologist that was going to come out of his skin if he couldn't hold Jack and make sure everything was okay. Inwardly, Jack was very gratified by that. But he was also a tad concerned. They were so close, such an odd pair. And if something had happened to him, he wasn't sure how Daniel would react. Would he carry on in his quest to find Sha're? Or would he have some sort of meltdown? 

Well, Dr. Jackson had been through worse shit than the absence of Jack O'Neill from his life, that much was certain. And he was surprisingly hard to keep down. But judging by the way Daniel looked at him now, that pout, lashes lowered, peering at him from overtop the rim of his glasses…. Jack could damn well guess that Daniel was falling for him. 

Which was good. Because he was falling for Daniel. 

Which was bad. 

He sighed. "Can I go home now, Doc? I'm tired. Show me the way to go home." 

Fraiser sighed and looked over his chart one more time. "I'd like to keep you overnight for observations at least." 

"Janet," Daniel said softly. "I'm going to take Jack home now." 

Wow. Possessive and cool and deadly. _Janet_ could only nod slightly and sigh. Jack smiled, so tempted to say something like ‘that's my boyfriend, folks,' but, ah… that probably wouldn't go over so hot. Especially with Daniel. 

"'Atta boy, Daniel, old buddy, old pal." Jack fished in his pocket for his keys. 

" _I'm_ driving you," Daniel said. 

Okay, he didn't like that possessive, cool, deadly voice so much when it was directed at him. But it was clear Daniel Jackson was going to have his way. 

"Yeah, whatever you say, boss." He forked over the keys to his precious truck – anything to get out of here faster – and waved his thanks to the others. They headed down the corridor. 

"Good night, sir." 

"Rest well, O'Neill." 

"And call me if you develop any rash or feel any pain or… anything.…" Fraiser folded her arms. 

"Don't worry guys. Daniel will take care of me!" He waved again as the elevator doors closed. 

"You're damn right I will!" Daniel said fiercely. He pressed Jack up against the wall, _this_ close to kissing him. 

"Cameras, cameras!" Jack said through grit teeth. 

Daniel pretended to hold Jack up and prod his shoulder. "Fuck, Jack. You scared me to death." 

" _I_ scared _you_? I wasn't the one that insisted we bring an alien viral booby trap home to play pin the tail on the colonel!" 

Daniel bit his lip and looked down, stepping back and going suddenly quiet. Jack wanted to take it back, but it was done and he was tired and Daniel knew what he meant. 

He rotated his shoulder and eased into his bomber jacket. Followed Daniel to the car. 

The ride home was quiet. He turned on some classical music. It was a clear night, lots of stars. Blue, glittering lights. 

"You okay?" Daniel said, glancing at him for a second. 

"Yeah. Just thinking." 

"Don't hurt yourself." 

Jack gave a half-smile. He was tired. So tired. "Were you really scared?" He kept looking out the window when he asked it. 

Daniel didn't say anything, just put a hand on his thigh. 

When they got home, Daniel drew a hot bath and put some of that Epsom salt stuff in it. Didn't have a scent, but it made the water soft. He let Jack take a bath alone. So warm, Jack almost fell asleep in the tub. 

Suddenly Daniel appeared, sitting on the floor, resting his arm on the lip of the tub. Jack cracked open an eye. "What's up?" 

"Jack Daniel's," Daniel said, handing him a small shot glass. "And a sandwich. You haven't eaten in a while." 

Jack nodded his thanks, swigged the drink, and attacked the sandwich. He hadn't realized he was hungry. 

"You okay?" 

"Mmm," he said around a mouthful. 

Daniel reached over, took a washcloth out of the sink cabinet, and dipped it in the water. He brought the cloth up and squeezed warm liquid over Jack's shoulders and back, rubbing slowly. It was so good Jack had to close his eyes. 

"I know you said that sorry isn't needed between us," Daniel began. 

"It isn't." Wished he had some more drink. 

"But I _am_ sorry for what happened. I know it hurt." 

Jack shrugged. "Doesn't anymore." 

aling with it?" 

Jack opened his eyes again. Tired. "Daniel, it was painful. It hurt. Now it doesn't. Dealt with." 

"I meant… aren't you angry at me?" 

Now that had him frowning. "Daniel? Did you make the alien baseball from hell shoot spikes at me?" 

"Er… no, not exactly.…" 

"Then why would I, exactly, be angry with you?" 

Daniel sighed. "Because I pushed to bring it back." 

"So did Carter and Teal'c. And well, if it had helped us find the cure for cancer, would have been a different story, wouldn't it? I'd have to, what, thank you for bringing it back? It was a mission; we brought it back. I made the call. I got hit. End of story." Jack handed the plate back and Daniel put it on the floor. 

Jack brought two fingers up and held Daniel's chin until the younger man looked at him. "Daniel? I am not mad at you. I am happy. I am thrilled to be home. I am fucking ecstatic to come home with you. End of story." 

Daniel smiled then, shaking a little. Was the floor cold? Sometimes when upset, Daniel shook like he was cold. Jack said, "You cold? You want in?" 

The younger man surged up and kissed him, getting his sleeves a little wet but not seeming to care. Good kiss. Tongue. Firm pressure. And those hands, those fingers, raking across his scalp. 

"I was scared, Jack," Daniel whispered. 

"I was too." Softer. He didn't want to be anything other than himself. It was his worst fear, to turn into something dark and hollow. Like after Charlie died. 

Daniel hugged him. "I'd be lost without you, you know." 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Do _not_ start down that path. "Have you been watching Lifetime TV again?" 

Daniel laughed. "Come on. Get out of there before you turn into a prune." 

"Hey, I just got in here." 

"Half-an-hour ago. I can't tell which wrinkles are from the water and which are just you." 

Oh! Bastard! Jack splashed Daniel for that. But the archeologist had learned well and returned fire. Jack pulled him over the lip and got him good and soaked, but Daniel didn't seem to mind. He straddled Jack quickly and sucked on his lower lip until Jack thought he'd suffocate. 

He sighed. "You…." 

"Come to bed, Jack." 

"Daniel…." Kisses. Wonderful, wonderful kisses, tastes of liquor and heat and Daniel. 

"Jack.…" 

Jack surged up, dripping water all over the bathroom, the rug, everything, and walked them to the bed. He lay down overtop of Daniel, letting the young man spread out over the cool comforter, which got more than slightly wet. Pushed up the shirt, licked that tight stomach, listened for the gasps and the moans. 

Unzipped him. Pulled him out. Laved and licked and got down on his _knees_ for the other man. Made it wet and warm and slightly wild, until all thoughts of death and failure and fear were driven from Daniel's mind and there was only thrusting and the scent of arousal and the first drops of pre-come. 

Fingers digging into his shoulders, dragging him up, and then Daniel positioned him on the bed, rolling Jack underneath, pulling his knees up to his shoulders, doubling him in half and grinding against his ass. 

Dangerously close to his ass. 

"Not tonight." 

"When?" Daniel whispered impatiently. 

"Not tonight." 

"What if I call in that promise?" 

Jack frowned. Didn't he just say no? Daniel wouldn't force him? "What promise?" 

"At the cabin. You said you'd try anything I asked next time if I let you fuck me with olive oil." 

Ah. That promise. Tried not to gulp too loudly. "I'm game. But not tonight, Danny. Just… not tonight." 

Daniel's expression softened, thank God. "Of course. Sorry, Jack, of course." Daniel kissed him again. "This should be about you. What do you want?" 

Daniel to fuck him. To give him what he wants. To be normal for a God damn change. To never have to say sorry or explain or discuss again. To have him leave his wife. 

He cupped Daniel's face. Kissed him. Rolled over until he was on his stomach underneath Daniel and took a deep breath. "Just grind against me?" 

Jack could practically hear Daniel salivate. Didn't need to ask twice; Daniel stripped off his wet shirt and pants and was behind him in an instant, his long slender cock sliding deftly between Jack's parted thighs. 

Oh God, oh God, breathe. This was Daniel. This was _Daniel_. 

This was still Daniel, and Jack was still Jack, no matter what they got up to in this bedroom. 

The younger man started rocking forward slowly, with more control than Jack expected. It felt… strange. Like Daniel was massaging his cleft. Warm and tender, like velvet, but fleshier. Not particularly scary. 

He lifted up and trapped Daniel between the tops of his thighs. "Like this." 

Daniel's breath sped up, undulating his pelvis, mimicking fucking, that warm cock sliding over Jack's balls, under his own dick. He was getting hard, hard because Daniel was moving so fluidly, it had to be beautiful; hard because he looked to the window and through the dark night's reflection, saw Daniel's trim hips cant back and forth, saw those wiry arms flex as the younger man gripped his ribs, saw Daniel bite his lip to keep from moaning. 

"Jack.…" 

"Hold tight." It was not a request. 

Daniel draped himself over Jack's back and it was nothing like the torture Jack had experienced in Iraq. It was just Daniel. Just the man he'd been sleeping beside for over a year. A man he'd made come so many times he'd lost count. A man who would probably die for him, if it came right down to it. 

Daniel. Daniel Jackson. 

Daniel reached around him and began stroking Jack's hardness. He couldn't help it, he whimpered, and why not? What would be the point of holding things back from this man? Daniel found every chink in the armor anyway. 

"Yeah," he said, and Daniel fisted his cock more surely. 

"Jack…. God, you're amazing like this." 

Jack went down to his forearms and widened his legs a little, giving Daniel plenty of smooth flesh to hump as he liked. 

"Oh, God, oh, God," Daniel moaned. "I can't wait to fuck you," he said into the dark room. 

Jack swiveled his hips, pushing back, and he could feel Daniel leak against his thigh. "Let it go, Daniel, give it —" 

Daniel pushed him flat against the bed and started humping Jack so fast and hard that the headboard banged a bit. Jack didn't care. He couldn't possibly have taken that if Daniel was inside him, but it didn't hurt now, in fact, it was just really hot, the way Daniel was thrusting against him, grinding Jack's cock against the mattress. 

"Jack… gonna come." 

"Yes." 

Daniel did something quite unexpected then. He took his own dick in hand and rapidly beat the head over Jack's hole. Jack couldn't help but stiffen a bit, but he forced himself to hold still, kept the awkward angle, and let Daniel come. And come he did, in what felt like gallons. 

"Augh," Daniel choked, warm seed washing all over Jack's ass. 

Jack sighed. Only Daniel. Only Daniel could ever get him to do something like this. What wouldn't he do for the man? 

"Jack… oh, Jack." Strained and so… loving. 

He started when he felt Daniel lick his ass. His _ass_. Daniel was lapping up his own come. 

"Jesus. Shit. Fuck." Jack bit the comforter. 

Daniel sucked and smeared and swallowed up most of the come, then began tonguing his hole. Jack's hips skyrocketed off the bed and his hand automatically went to his dick and began pumping like crazy. 

"Yeah… yeah.…" he just kept moaning, loving the sheer fucking insanity of this moment – this crazy, crazy moment in his life – when Daniel Jackson was eating him out and it was absolutely perfect and natural and something he couldn't ever imagine with anyone else, but something he wanted Daniel to continue so desperately. 

"Da — hnn!" Jack came in his hand, mostly anyway. Daniel mercifully stopped licking him and moved up the bed, draping over him. 

They didn't move. Daniel was warm and solid over Jack. 

"Where the fuck did you learn that?" 

He could feel Daniel's smile against his shoulder. "What? Rimming?" 

Rimming? Like, as in basketball? 

"Same principle as cunnilingus, I imagined, and I've done a lot of that." Daniel brought up Jack's trembling hand and licked that come up as well. 

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Daniel. You dog." If he wasn't so tired that would have gotten him hard again. 

Daniel chuckled. "Well, I guess I do okay with that stuff. Sha're was quite… voracious… in bed." 

Jack sobered. Christ. "We'll get her back." 

Sleepy. Daniel was getting heavy and sleepy. Was that the wrong thing to say? To bring up Sha're? 

"I know you will, Jack." 

Ah. _He_ would get Sha're back. Because in Daniel's eyes, Jack could do no wrong. Could not possibly fail in something so important. Because Jack was invulnerable. Except, tonight proved otherwise. 

"I want to do that to you," Jack said, changing the topic. 

Daniel kissed his shoulder lazily. "Anytime." Dirty, sultry, little bedroom voice. 

He turned over. "You look so innocent. I should have _known_." 

Daniel smiled now, a genuine one, where his nose wrinkled up and his eyes crossed. "It's always us innocent looking ones." 

Jack kissed him, couldn't stop kissing him. Just kept kissing and kissing and kissing. Despite being tired. Despite not being able to let Daniel truly fuck him. Despite Sha're. He just _hung_ off of Daniel's mouth for a few minutes, until he couldn't taste any more come. 

He was _this_ close to saying those three little words, but his mouth was occupied. Finally Daniel pulled back. 

"I'm sorry, Jack. But I haven't slept in two nights… or eaten… and I'm a little tired. Sleep okay now?" 

Aw. That was just… well, that was just adorable. "Yeah, sure. You betcha." 

They tossed the top cover off and snuggled down deep in the blankets. "I was scared today, Daniel. Scared for you." Okay, that was out of the blue.… 

"Me?" Daniel's head shot off Jack's shoulder. "Why?" 

Jack frowned up at the ceiling, even though it was too dark to make it out clearly. "I… I didn't want you seeing me… like that." 

"Hurt?" Daniel snorted. "Jack? Do you think I think you're Superman? ‘Cause I've got to tell you —" 

"No. Um. Your parents and all…. And, well, yes. I'm the one that takes care of _you_. That's what I do. I take care of you. All of you. I don't want you to ever see me in a position where I can't do that." Jack huffed. This talking about their feelings crap was… crap. 

Daniel settled back down. "You know that it's all just an illusion, right?" 

Being able to take care of them? "Yeah." 

"Yeah. ‘Night, Jack." 

"'Night, baby." 

Daniel thwapped him. 

"Snookums." 

Thwap thwap. He couldn't resist. 

"Peachy poo?" 

"Peachy poo?" Cool and deadly. The calm before the storm. Jack snickered. Daniel twisted his nipple. Hard. 

"Ah!" Fuck, that hurt. 

"What's the matter, _peachy poo_?" Ooh, Daniel could be a right bastard. 

Jack laughed and hugged the younger man close. "'Night, Danny boy." He closed his eyes and slept well. 

~*~


	31. Familiaris

**31\. Familiaris**

 

 

 

 

 

Jack woke up alone the next morning. A quick palming of the cool sheets told him Daniel had been up for a while. Which was odd. He glanced at the clock. Or not. It was two-thirty in the afternoon.

He padded out to the living room. Almost cracked up. 

Daniel sat on the floor, wearing only pants, feet bare – which did things to Jack's libido that he didn't want to think about this early in the… afternoon – sporting a set of old headphones and fiddling around with his chessboard. But that wasn't what was so funny. 

The younger man had his eyes squeezed shut and was mouthing the words to… what was it? Looked like, "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go," by WHAM. 

Now that was just sad. 

"Daniel?" 

Nothing. 

"Yo, Daniel." 

Not even registering. 

He reached out and shook Daniel's shoulder. "Danny boy!" 

"Wahh!" Daniel jerked backwards. "Jesus." Walkman wires tangled everywhere; a few game pieces knocked over. "Jack. How are you feeling?" 

He rubbed his face. "Good. Whatcha doing?" 

"Oh. Um. I was playing chess. Obviously." Batted long lashes at him. 

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Obviously. By yourself?" 

Daniel picked up the scattered pawns. "No, Jack, I've been playing with the ghosts in the house." 

Jack sat on the sofa across from Daniel and started putting all the pieces back in original formation. Smooth, hand-carved wood felt good against his fingertips. "Now, Daniel, the only ghosts in this house are the skeletons in my closet." 

Wisely, Daniel didn't press. It did earn him a quick glance from under those long lashes though. "We haven't done this in a while." The younger man twirled the queen around between his index and middle finger. "Did you play often as a kid?" 

Hundreds of times. His father would teach him chess, they'd talk or they wouldn't, and Jack was never sure if he was suppose to win or lose, but either way, he both loved and hated playing with his dad. 

Jack sighed. "I have a chessboard, don't I?" 

"True. But you also have fishing tackle for a lake that has no fish. There's no telling with you, Jack." 

He reached over and brushed a strand of hair out of Daniel's face, removed the walkman and shut it off, and then nodded to the board. "White goes first." 

"Okay." 

They played a quick game. It _had_ been a while since they'd done this. 

Jack deliberately goaded Daniel by calling the Knights horsies and the Rooks castles. He also made a few obvious errors, smiling at the way Daniel had to bite his lip against warning him of his mistakes. Daniel was a sweet guy. Jack lived in a world where sweet guys finished last. Which was one of the reasons he was glad Daniel had him. 

Took the younger man's bishop, his queen, and had him in checkmate before Daniel even realized what Jack might be plotting. 

"Well, shit," Daniel murmured. "You know what I think? I think you've been leading me on over the past year. You're a shark, aren't you?" 

Jack hid a smile, but he knew his eyes conveyed his happiness at the backhanded compliment. "Daniel. You've known me for a bit now. You ever hear of walking softly and carrying a big stick?" 

"Yeah," Daniel said sullenly, knocking over his king. "You ever hear playing dumb is dumb?" 

"No, I'm not familiar with that one." 

"Jack," Daniel sighed. "Jack, why do you hide your talent like that? For all those months? Did it help you win the games, to keep me thinking you were a beginner?" 

Okay, how does one explain twenty years of Black-Ops training and espionage to a civilian that couldn't so much as play poker to save his life? Jack rubbed his chin, scratching a bit at the stubble. It was too early in the mor—afternoon. 

"Daniel, the first rule is to never show everything you've got." 

"It's chess, Jack, not warfare." 

Jack shook his head. "Look at the _board_ , Daniel. Chess _is_ warfare, just in miniature. And you've got a head for strategy, I'll give you that. But the point is to figure out your opponent's strategy first, and then use that to beat him." 

"I see." Daniel narrowed his eyes. "Had much practice at that?" 

"Well, yeah. Of course." Wait… were they talking about chess or the military or, God forbid, their relationship? If only he was half so good at anticipating what Daniel's mind would cook up for conversation as he was at seeing Daniel's moves on the board.… 

"And you might say you're pretty good at keeping secrets, then?" A tone that light made Jack instantly wary. 

He leveled his gaze to Daniel's. "I have to be." 

Daniel nodded. "Makes sense. You play to win." The younger man set up the pieces again. 

"What other reason is there to play?" 

He was hungry. Maybe there was a game on. Glad he didn't have to go back in today; wanted to rest up for tomorrow. Oh… Daniel was looking at him weird again. "What?" 

The younger man folded his arms. Bare arms. Arms with smooth, white skin. "What about just playing for the love of the game?" 

"Are we still talking about chess?" 

"What about just playing because you enjoy your opponent's company?" 

Okay. He saw where this was going, and frankly, he was not looking forward to the ride. Sometimes this thing with Daniel could produce an uncanny echo to his marriage with Sara and it was frightening. "Well, Daniel. That's okay for chess. It's not very helpful in war." 

Daniel moved around the coffee table, crouched down, and put his hands on Jack's thighs. "I'm not the enemy, you know." 

Oh yes, he was. Without even trying. Without even knowing. Daniel pushed Jack to walk a line so fine it cut his feet up. Every single day. 

He stroked Daniel's cheek, feeling stubble there too. Male. Two men. Together. So odd, but right, because it was Daniel. "You're my best friend," Jack blurted out. Damn, he had to stop doing that. 

Daniel beamed. Like a damned spotlight on Oscar night. A million-watt smile. "You're mine too." 

"Yeah, I know." Also his boss. And his lover. And sometimes, father. And, if his instincts were still sharp, someday, his enemy. It was inevitable. For now, their goals matched up, but Jack could see the changes coming down the road, could sense the pressure increase, could see Sha're slipping farther and farther away as more time passed. 

But he didn't want to think about it. Not today. "You wanna watch a game? Maybe grab a bite to eat?" 

"Ribs? I want ribs," Daniel said, and Jack could still see the gangly, half-starved youth in the man before him. "And… a shower." 

He could just lick Daniel clean…. 

Jack settled for playfully thwapping his head. "I'll order delivery and you go get cleaned up. Why didn't you take one earlier?" 

"Didn't want to wake you," Daniel said, knees popping slightly as he stood up. "You sleep so lightly." 

Years of training; years of necessity. "You didn't have to stay." 

Daniel stopped short. Here it came… "You want me to —" 

"Get a shower. And thanks, for staying and being quiet." 

Did he want Daniel to go? Please. It would take twenty minutes tops before he was itching to get in the car and go over to Daniel's apartment. Just seemed empty and depressing without him. Which of course, irritated Jack because he liked being independent. And so did Daniel. They were sort of independent… together. 

"You could join me." 

Christ, there's a thought. "I could. But I wouldn't want to get all pruny on you." Jack grinned. 

Daniel reached over the back of the couch, grabbed his head, and kissed his hair. "Grumpy old man." 

"Hmm. You want sweet or spicy ribs?" he shouted to Daniel's – gloriously naked – back. 

"Spicy," Daniel called from the hallway. 

Spicy. Of course, spicy. This was Daniel, after all. He picked up the phone and placed the order, then spread out on the sofa and turned on some boring ESPN rerun. Couldn't wait for the new season to start. 

Not long to wait before a slightly damp and Jack-shampoo-smelling Daniel breezed into the room and poured himself all over Jack, wet head resting right under Jack's chin. His arms came up and he just held the younger man. It felt _so_ good. 

Eventually the doorbell rang and two brown paper bags filled with sinfully delicious smells pretty much killed all conversation. They ate, they watched sports, Daniel read a bit, naturally; they dozed, wrapped around each other on the couch, until it got dark and Jack ushered Daniel into bed. He went back out to throw out the containers and turn off the lights, his eyes falling on the chessboard. 

Love of the game. Love of the company. 

How long had it been since he was young and innocent enough to feel that way? When had it stopped being about playing and had transformed into a test to impress his father? 

Jack went back to the bedroom and looked at Daniel, smeared at an odd diagonal across his bed and already lightly snoring. Couldn't help but smile. 

With Daniel? He didn't have to try so hard. He'd already won. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

The following day at the mountain goes by slowly for the first few hours. And then, predictably, there's klaxons blaring and unauthorized inbound travelers and Marines running around with big, loaded extensions of the male ego, otherwise known as MP-5s.

Bra'tac uses his emergency code to come through the gate and inform them that Rya'c was taken by Apophis, as bait to lure Teal'c back to Chulak. Daniel begins to see what Jack was saying about mixing friends and warfare. 

It takes a few moments for everyone to process the fact that Apophis and Klorel must have used the Stargate on their ship just moments before it blew up, escaped, and are still a threat to the planet. 

And Sha're. 

Jack and Teal'c are arguing with Hammond in the briefing room that they must return to Chulak to save the boy. Of course. Daniel can't believe they even have to discuss the matter. 

"I can't allow my best people to walk into what is obviously a trap," Hammond says incredulously. 

Jack turns on the charm. It's like a switch, which is information Daniel tucks away in the back of his mind. "Of course it's a trap, sir. And in _knowing_ it's a trap, we can avoid it. He's vulnerable right now." 

That's Jack, thinking two steps ahead. 

"He never will be more so," Bra'tac agrees. "And I still have a few friends among the serpent guards that Apophis does not know of." 

Jack shifts impatiently. "If we can pull this off, sir, we can grab Teal'c's kid and nail this mother... Goa'uld… in one sweep." 

Jack hates Apophis more than Daniel expected. At first he thought it was just on his behalf, because of Sha're. But by the time they lost Kawalski and went through the bomb business with Cassandra and almost lost Sam to a Tok'ra assassin, he realized Jack just hated the snakes. Now another child was in danger, and if Daniel knew Jack — and at this point, he was pretty sure he did — probably better than anyone else at least, Jack was beyond pissed about it. 

The general thinks for a moment and then says, "Teal'c, you originally withheld information about your family because you were afraid it would make you vulnerable. Well, it has. And I want this to be the last time." 

Hammond relaxes a little, probably feeling guilty for taking a harsh tone with Teal'c. "So, Colonel, you have a go. Get Apophis if you can, but the prime directive of this mission is to bring Teal'c's family back to Earth." 

Back… back to Earth? How wonderful! Jack smiles at him. They both know this is unexpected – a bit of a twist on the rules – and very kind of Hammond. 

"Yes, sir," Jack says happily. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They go through the gate to Chulak in all haste. Bra'tac quickly leads them to Teal'c's wife's house, which they discover is more like a mansion, since she remarried Teal'c's old friend, Fro'tak.

The first thing Teal'c does is go for the man's throat. 

"My God!" Jack calls out. "Hey, knock it off! Come on, come on! Knock it off! Knock it off! You came here for your _son_. This doesn't help!" He's peeling Teal'c off the slighter man, holding him back more with the ties of friendship and less with anything like matched strength. 

Daniel shifts weight awkwardly and fiddles with his robe. 

"I wished to be the one to tell you myself, old friend. I am sorry," Fro'tak says. 

Teal'c turns to his master. "How could you not have known this, Bra'tac?" 

After Fro'tak leaves the room, they discuss if he can be trusted. Teal'c just wants him dead. Daniel supposes he can understand, but this avenging warrior thing… ugh…. 

"Teal'c.," Daniel sighs, not quite sure how to put this. "Look, I know you probably don't want to hear this now, but I think you need to get some perspective on this. Maybe, in a way, you should be thanking him." 

Murder in the Jaffa's eyes. Daniel's never had that look turned on him before – it makes his hands cold and the tips of his ears hot. 

"How can you say that, Daniel Jackson? He has betrayed our friendship." 

And there's the guilt. Right there. Betrayed. Like he has betrayed Sha're. But there were _circumstances_! If Sha're fell in love with someone else… or even just slept with someone else, oh God…. Well, he'd forgive her. Wouldn't he? There were just certain circumstances…. 

Straightening up, Daniel says, "If I recall, last time we were here, you were pretty upset about your family being outcasts, barely surviving in a camp because of what you did. I mean, it seems to me they have a better life now." Yes, there. Circumstance like that, see? 

"Teal'c, listen to me," Bra'tac pleads. "If you were dead, would you wish Drey'auc to remain alone for ever?" 

Teal'c glowers. "I am not dead." 

"In your current situation you may as well be. How long before you return to provide for her?" the old Jaffa asks. 

Guilt, heavy and suffocating on Daniel now. Like a blanket, wet with deep-winter snow. So cold it burned. Shame. 

"You know I cannot answer this." Teal'c bows his head. 

Bra'tac continues, "Yes... as does she. Dr. Jackson is right. Fro'tak has high station in Chulak. Thanks to him, your family is no longer outcast." 

This is the first time Jack has spoken up in a while. "Teal'c, I know it's tough, but you've got to focus on your boy." 

Yes, the boy. Good of Jack to show Teal'c the big picture. See the whole board. 

"Before we proceed, give me your word you will not commit Kel-Mar-Tokeem," Bra'tac insists. 

Teal'c looks like he's going to swallow his own tongue, but says, "I give you my word." 

"Then I will retrieve Fro'tak and your wife, and we will begin planning for the rescue of your son." Bra'tac leaves the house. Teal'c goes off with Drey'auc. They wait to hear the footfalls grow soft. 

Jack nods at him. "Del-Mar-Hokeem?" 

Is Jack playing stupid again? Or making a joke? Maybe he just didn't catch it. "That means something like ‘revenge by the wearer of horns.' Which I'm guessing is a Jaffa term for being a cuckold." 

" _Hello_!" Jack says, looking every which way but Daniel. 

Yeah, Jack. Just keep dancing around the inevitable. Just keep spinning like a top. Don't be surprised when they fall down. Don't be surprised when they break. 

A moment later, Teal'c slams the door and Drey'auc is left standing with fresh tears in her eyes. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack's been snooping. Because that's what Jack does best. And a good thing too, because Fro'tak just saw the little _Romeo and Juliet_ scene with Teal'c and Drey'auc. The Dal-Mar-Hokey guy went straight to Apophis' palace. Just like Jack knew he would.

"Guard! I will lead you to the traitor, Teal'c, and his evil companions," Fro'tak calls. 

With a stiff spine and held breath, Jack walks around the corner and zats the guard twice. Fro'tak looks at him and begins advancing with a weapon in his hand. 

"Don't!" he begs, but Fro'tak keeps coming at him so he fires his zat. 

The man goes down, but still manages to call out, "Jaffa, kree!" 

Jack bends over him and covers his mouth. "Shut up! It does _not_ have to go down like this!" Removes his hand, and the man stays still a moment. The calm before the storm, he senses. "Nice and quiet. Come on." He let's Fro'tak up. 

"Jaffa!"nd and then zats him a third time. Fro'tak disintegrates. If only all stains came out so clean. 

Yes, he could have knocked the man out, but he couldn't drag him away with anything like stealth, and he couldn't trust him not to talk after he awoke, and he couldn't jeopardize Teal'c or Daniel or Carter. So he killed him, and he buries that along with all the other stuff. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He steals a serpent guard uniform, races through the city in the dead of night, instinct and muscle memory helping him find his way back. Jack bangs the big, brass knocker on the door to Drey'auc's house.

Bra'tac answers with a zat pointed at his chest. "How dare you enter like this! This house has already been searched." 

Jack deactivates the helmet and grimaces. "No wonder these guys are always cranky. Get me out of this thing." 

Daniel rushes up to him. "Jack, where the hell have you been?" 

Oh, and he's the nag in this relationship? Daniel looks downright _pissed_ , like Jack's missed his curfew. Which would be kind of adorable, if they weren't stuck on a Goa'uld-invested planet with Teal'c's kid brainwashed into believing he's the son of Apophis. 

"What of Fro'tak?" Drey'auc asks. 

Oh, he hates this part. But might as well give it to her straight. Owes a widow that, at least. "He left here last night and made a beeline for the palace. He was turning us in. I had to stop him. I'm sorry." 

Bra'tac looks dejected. "I never thought he would betray us." 

Drey'auc shakes her head. "The fault is mine. I made vows I could not keep." Teal'c shares a look with his… ex-wife… Yeah, he knows how that goes. 

All right. Enough of this crap. Focus on the big picture. "The suns are coming up. Let's get the kid." 

That morning they head for the Cham'ka Groves. Jack has no idea what Cham'ka means. It sounds like something he once ordered out of an Indian restaurant in college, when he took Sara out on their second date. Indian food and the public zoo. Oh, he was a big spender, back in the day. 

"If this were not Rya'c returned, this would have been a trap. It was not," Teal'c says. 

"Not _yet_." He squints. Doesn't make sense. This is not how he would have played it. 

"Why do you doubt my son?" 

Jack doesn't doubt Rya'c. He doubts Apophis and that's his job. "It's my nature, Teal'c. I'm thinking Cassandra here. A little Naquadah bomb in the chest, get through the gate, boom!" 

Teal'c frowns. "My son is Jaffa. The symbiote within him would not allow such tampering." 

Really? "Is that a fact... or a hope?" 

"It is a fact, O'Neill." 

He sighs. Waste of time. Can't tell a parent about the flaws of their kid; it's like trying to have a conversation with a brick wall. "Well, it's not like we have much choice. Let's get a move on." 

As Bra'tac goes to fetch Drey'auc, they head toward the gate, where there are only two guards. Something smells fishy. Could it be the fact that there are only _two guards_? 

"I don't know, sir. I'm not liking this one bit. Talk about too easy!" Carter says. Good girl, Carter. She'll make a fine Major someday. 

They wait, Jack doing a quick sweep of the area with his eyes. Can't see anything, but he senses something. Behind them, Bra'tac and Drey'auc arrive. 

Mother and son exchange a tearful reunion and Jack's guts tighten. 

"Hey, come here," he says to the boy. "All right, Rya'c... what's the scam here?" 

Rya'c frowns. "I do not understand." 

Uh huh. Simple language then. "What're you up to? Or better yet... what has Apophis got you up to?" 

"I fooled Apophis," the kid says. Goodness, give the boy an Emmy already. 

"Yeah? Then why the tantrum when we tried to take you the first time?" Jack quirks a brow. 

Rya'c looks at his feet. "At the time I was not yet successful in defeating Apophis' control. I am sorry. My mind is not as strong as my father's." 

"O'Neill, why can you not accept the possibility that my son's mind was too strong for Apophis to control?" 

Because _Teal'c's_ mind wasn't strong enough to withstand Apophis' control? Jesus. 

"Come here," he says and the child approaches. So young; slender and gangly. For a moment, he misses Charlie so much it hurts. "Teal'c, I want you to be right, but it just doesn't track. Apophis knows we're here and has only two guards at the gate." 

Bra'tac steps in. "Apophis has very few serpent guards still loyal to him. In two days we have killed many of those few. Perhaps he cannot spare more." 

Now Daniel is by his side. "Jack, even if this is a trick, what are we gonna do? Just... stay here?" 

True. Not really an option. He doesn't want to be responsible for anything else taking over the SGC, but they can't wait around. 

"Daniel has a point." Carter. Sticking up for Daniel. Why is he not surprised? "I mean, we may as well take advantage of the light guard and at least get through the gate." 

And if the kid blows up like a nuke? "What about the boy?" 

Teal'c lowers his voice, "My son will not harm your world, O'Neill. I give you my word." 

He sighs. God damn it, don't put him in this position! Four to one, it's not fair. "Teal'c, I know you _mean_ that. But it might not prove to be that easy." 

Because nothing is ever simple. Not anymore. 

Daniel. Blue, blue eyes. "So what are we gonna do, just leave the boy here?" As if it were impossible. Inconceivable that Jack would even consider it. 

Fuck. Fine. He knows better, but he just can't have Daniel thinking of him as a black hat, and Teal'c hating him forever. "Bra'tac, stay here with Drey'auc and the boy. We'll clear the way." 

They blast their way through the guards, Daniel dials, Carter sends the GDO signal and they get through the gate. Everything appears safe. For the moment. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the infirmary, the boy checks out and seems fine mentally, but when Fraiser and his mother notice he's got more teeth than before, they try to take some blood. The kid goes ballistic and they have to sedate him and lock him up.

And Jack hates every second of it. He just shuts down. Kids are _never_ , ever, supposed to be part of the No-Mercy pile. And here they are, at an impasse, _again_ , thanks to another mother-fucking Goa'uld! 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel watches the change come over Jack slowly. Tension in the shoulders. Straighter spine. Dark eyes, almost all pupil. Jack is hiding it well, but the idea of having to once again sacrifice a child is putting him under extreme mental stress.

In a way, he blames himself. If Jack had never met Daniel, he probably wouldn't have had such a hard time seeing the line between child and enemy, probably would have been able to keep up that cold, hard pretense like when Daniel had first met him. That shell. But now… now Jack was looking more and more desperate for alternatives. 

Rya'c is safe in the holding cell, so the team meets with Janet in the briefing room. Sam talks about the lab results on the fake teeth. "If he bit down hard enough to break the teeth, two organisms inside would begin to combine and multiply exponentially, releasing themselves into the atmosphere." 

Daniel frowns. "So that's why he wanted to get outside so badly." The kid was a suicide assassin. He really can't wrap his mind around it. Many cultures have suicide warriors, but to use children – 

"Kinda sounds like anthrax," Jack mumbles. 

Janet shakes her head. "This stuff makes anthrax look like a cold virus." 

Holy shit. 

Sam refers them to a map on the computer monitor. "It would have taken less than two days for it to spread across North America. Less than a week to spread around the world." 

How long before the NID wants the lab results and to play with a synthetic of their own, Daniel wonders? Great, now he's thinking like Jack. "And what would it have done?" 

Sam looks at him, as if weighing whether or not to tell the civilian. But she does, because he's one of the team. "Killed every living thing on Earth within twenty-four hours of contact." 

Oh how lovely. No, really. That's just fantastic news. 

"There isn't any chance the boy has another device implanted in his body?" Hammond asks quickly. 

Janet shakes her head again. "X-rays and CAT scans were negative, sir. All the other tests we ran were normal." 

Well that's good news. He looks at Jack. Jack seems to uncoil slightly. Right. Now, they need options. "Okay, well... we're all right. Rya'c is all right. We just have to get his mind back. And how do we do that?" 

Sam shrugs. "Deprogramming." 

That sounds bad. 

Jack actually flinches in his chair. What is that about? Iraq or something? They have _got_ to talk about it. "It's... not exactly the kind of thing you want to put a kid through." 

Okay. Sounds really bad. He's guessing they're not talking a few rounds with the resident shrink. 

Teal'c braces himself. "From the time of birth all Jaffa are taught to be strong. Rya'c is my son. He can withstand it." 

Daniel looks at Jack, but Jack is staring into space. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They visit Rya'c and try everything they can think of to talk some sense into the kid; finally Jack suggests something radical.

"ECT?" Jack looks to Janet. 

"Maybe," she says. 

"What is this ECT?" Teal'c asks. 

Sam supplies, "Electro-convulsive therapy." 

Um, shit. He can't believe Jack would even think of using it on a small child. "Whoa! Electroshock? Isn't that kind of... barbaric?" 

Janet turns to him. "Actually, it's not so much any more. It's done under anesthesia in a more controlled way. I just... don't know about using it on a child, or for that matter a Jaffa. It could kill the Goa'uld larva inside him." 

"That would kill Rya'c!" Teal'c cried. "This ECT... is it similar to a zat'nika'tel discharge?" 

Jack nods. "Yeah, as a matter of fact." 

"A single zat'nika'tel discharge will not kill a Jaffa of any age, nor the symbiote within." Teal'c looks to him, and Daniel doesn't know what to say. He looks at Janet, trusting her. 

"Might work." She shrugs. 

Teal'c turns to Drey'auc. "It will cause him great pain." 

Drey'auc looks like she wants to cry, but she's holding up remarkably well. "I trust you know what is best." 

They try it, Teal'c zatting the boy once. Jack flinches again — that's twice now — and they watch through the little cell window as the boy collapses in pain. He's barely breathing. 

Drey'auc begins to sing him a lullaby. 

Daniel… has never been big on kids. He likes kids, of course. But he's never… well, he's never been much of a child himself. He has no clue how to, say, change a diaper, or sing a lullaby, or any of those things. He thinks kids are great, but they're like little people to him, and clearly they need more than just a conversation over a cup of coffee. 

In a strange way, he's learning to give more, changing in a way, by becoming involved with Jack. Jack is very childlike, naturally, with his wiseass humor and practical jokes. But more than that, whereas a child often _can't_ articulate what's bothering him and what he needs, Jack just plain _won't_. So Daniel is getting better at feeling that stuff out. 

Eventually Rya'c wakes up and it's the real Rya'c. Teal'c is overjoyed and Jack looks like he might just sag against the wall with relief. Daniel thinks perhaps the idea of letting Teal'c down, or not being able to help a kid, is bringing up some bad shit for Jack. They really need to have a talk when they get home. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

"Teal'c, you have a go!" George says over the intercom.

Jack smiles. They weren't able to pull off an out-and-out relocation of Teal'c's family to the SGC and Earth, they were informed, wasn't ready to have aliens in the suburbs, but they did manage to work something out. 

"I must thank you all again," Drey'auc says. "I would very much like to stay and get to know you better." 

This she says to Daniel. His Daniel. Not that he can blame her, but knowing Daniel's propensity for attracting beautiful alien women, Jack steps forward. 

The younger man pushes up his glasses. "Well, you wouldn't have much of a life here. You'd be virtual prisoners." Good old Daniel. Always Mr. Sunshine. The military wasn't _that_ bad. Usually. 

Carter pipes in, "But you're welcome in the Land of Light and Tuplo's waiting on the other side. They're good people." 

Indeed they are. Even if they do dress funny and have cavemen cooties. "Yep, and they got tons of wide-open spaces for you to play and misbehave." God, he really misses his son. He's not jealous of Teal'c, but… no, yeah, he is a little bit. 

He hands Rya'c a baseball glove. What? He likes toys. 

"W-what is it?" the kid asks uncertainly. Priceless. 

Daniel smiles and shakes his head at Jack. Hey, what? It's, like, the most American thing ever. 

Rya'c puts the glove on his head like a hat. Okay, that's so cute it hurts. Jack takes the hat off his head and puts a ball in it. He places them both back in the boy's hands. 

"Well, I guess I'll have to come visit and explain a few things." Wasn't planning on saying that, but now that he thinks about it, he'd like that very much. If Teal'c wouldn't mind…. 

The Jaffa bows. "I shall return." Teal'c and his family walk through the gate. 

Jack turns around to Daniel, _his_ family, and walks out of the embarkation room. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He should have seen it coming. Shouldn't he? Daniel was in the mood to _talk_. They were at Daniel's apartment, a roast from the deli around the corner, Ravel playing softly in the background, candles on the table. Should have had klaxons blaring in the back of his head immediately. How could he not have anticipated this?

"I'm just saying, you can tell me." Daniel looked so sincere, the candlelight making little squares of gold in his big, blue eyes. 

" _I'm_ just saying, I don't want to." 

Now Daniel looked wounded. "Okay…." 

The bridge of his nose was killing him. There was a little devil with a pitchfork in his gut. Daniel wanted to know about Iraq. He couldn't open up to his _wife_ , so how could he open up to Daniel? 

Because Daniel was on his missions with him now. Because Daniel saw it. Brought it home, too. Because he'd already made this mistake once and lost her. 

But Daniel wasn't ready to hear about assassinations and double-crosses and strangling best teammates with piano wire. Daniel couldn't handle getting gang-raped in Iraqi prisons and being forced to eat off the floor and cleaning shit up with bare hands. Daniel shouldn't _have_ to handle it. Jack was there to protect him. To keep that genie bottled in. 

Then again, Daniel would just pout and press him about it later. The young man could be just as stubborn as a mule sometimes and it was wearying. 

"What is it you want to know?" Jack grumbled. 

"Everything." 

Anger crackled. "You think you've _earned_ everything?" He got up from the table now. "You think you can just force that kind of —" 

Daniel slid back his chair and grabbed his forearm. "I think I'd like to be given the _chance_. For that kind of intimacy? Yes. I think you should just try me, Jack." 

Long moments where they just stared at each other and Jack was so frustrated and sick of it all. He sat back down. "Okay. Let's see how you do." 

Daniel sat down gently and waited. 

"My father? I guess you'd call him a strict Catholic. I went into the Air Force because of him. Know why?" Jack quirked a brow. 

Daniel shook his head. "Did he hit you or something like that?" 

Jack's mind flashed back to the house in Minnesota. The home-cooked dinners and Christmas trees decorated with hand-made ornaments and all the cookouts and games of catch in the backyard. "No. He didn't touch me." Hardly ever, after puberty. "I had a great childhood. By the time I was a teenager, things… changed. I sorta acted out in high school. Wanted his attention, I suppose. You know how kids are." And Daniel didn't, of course, but surely it was Pop-Psych 101 enough that he could catch on. "He just stopped paying attention to me. Didn't really see me until I got my first set of dress blues." 

"Are you saying you regret going into the military?" Daniel frowned. 

Jack didn't _say_ he had regrets as a standing rule. The Air Force was all he'd ever known. He just didn't know what he was getting into at the time. "I killed my teammates. On purpose." It slipped out while he was staring at the small flame in front of his face. 

"I'm sure you had a good reason." Quiet. Soft. Forgiving. 

Daniel's _sure_ Jack had a good reason. Because he believed Jack was a good man. 

"Orders. You know, never leave a man behind, unless he becomes the enemy. Selling secrets and all that jazz. Except it turns out they never were. I killed them. Me." 

Daniel stroked two fingers over the back of Jack's hand. "You thought you were doing the right thing." 

"No, Daniel, that's _you_ you're talking about. You do things because you think they're right. I thought I was following orders. I _knew_ it was the wrong thing to do. I didn't have much of a conscience before you came along." 

Eyes closed. Open. Either way, Jack didn't have to look at Daniel to know what expression he wore. How clear those blue eyes would be. "I don't believe it." 

Jack smirked. "Then I guess this conversation has reached its finale." 

Daniel squeezed his hands. "Okay, okay. I'll believe you." 

He relaxed a bit. Just a bit. Daniel believed him but wasn't letting go. Yet. "Want more?" 

The younger man nodded. 

"I parachuted behind enemy lines and was injured. I was captured. I was tortured. I was —" and here he choked. Daniel would look at him with pity and then he'd do something drastic like break the man's nose. "I was —" 

"You don't have to." Daniel just seemed to understand. Or maybe he didn't. But he wasn't pressing, thank God. 

Jack nodded, grateful. He couldn't. He just couldn't ever get that out. And if Daniel ever found out, he'd just _die_ of shame. 

"Hey," he said, shooting for levity and missing by a mile, "I got a break, got out. Ran in the desert for nine days. Broken bones and everything. Made it out alive…." His fake smile disintegrated under the memory. "But I spent so much time in the hospital, I got hooked on the painkillers. Oh," he looked up, "that was a fun time, Danny boy. The night sweats. The itches. Going mad enough to try and fuck or kill the nurses. Screaming at Sara whenever she visited. Took a long time to dry out." 

"But you did." 

"Had a family. Had to get better." 

Daniel took both of his hands and kissed his knuckles over the table. 

Jack absently wondered if he was a masochist, or even a sadist a little, because then he said, "Then you know what?" 

"What?" Daniel ground out. 

"I left a loaded gun lying around and my kid shot his brains all over the bedroom wall." 

Daniel flinched. Pulled away from Jack and tucked his fists up under his arms like it was the middle of January or something. 

"Look at me. Look at me. Look at me, Daniel! Look at the man you just ‘don't know what you'd do without!' Look at the man _screwing_ you! Cheating on your _wife_ with you. You still want him? You still want this?" Jack banged once on his chest. 

Daniel swallowed thickly. "Yes." 

Jack reeled. "Knowing everything? Everything you know – I'm a murderer, Daniel. I'm damaged goods. I don't _deserve_ anyone, let alone someone like you!" 

Daniel laughed. In his face. "Jack…. Oh God." Near hysterical. "I've killed people, too, since working at the SGC. I've been raped, I've been captured, I've been addicted. Does that make me a murderer? Do you see me as ‘damaged goods?'" 

Okay. He cracked. "No, Daniel, of course not." 

"That's not how I see you either. Damn it, Jack. You're the glue. You hold everyone around you together. Let us return the favor once in a while, you ass!" 

Daniel came around the table and stood behind Jack's chair. He leaned down, resting his chin on Jack's shoulder, cheek to cheek. "Let me —" 

"Don't you ever, _ever_ , love me." Jack's voice was steel. He didn't want Daniel to suffer like that. Never, ever. 

Daniel kissed his neck, slow and sweet. Whispered seductively, "Come to bed." He got up and headed to the bedroom, leaving Jack to watch the candles flicker out. A trail of smoke, incense at Communion, a sense of something departing. 

Sitting in the dark, listening to "Bolero" increase slowly in speed and intensity, Jack closed his eyes and remembered. Chess games and rosaries and the faint scent of his father's vanilla pipe. And he decided then and there that it was time to get up from the table and leave the past behind, like a dinner guest that had overstayed his welcome. 

Time to put down the heavy weight of failure – of disappointing his father, Sara, Charlie – and start over, this time, with Daniel. 

Breathing deeply, Jack got up, pushed back his chair, and walked into the bedroom. Daniel was there, sans a shirt, but pants still on. He had removed his glasses and started walking around the bedroom, lighting candles. 

"When did you get those?" 

Daniel looked at him, the light reflecting in his eyes and bouncing off his hair. "Teal'c gave them to me a while back. Moving present." 

"Ah." Hands in his pockets. 

Candles meant they weren't going to sleep. He sighed. 

They couldn't just fix everything with sex. He was too… "I'm soul sick." Just said it. Just blurted it out. He seemed to have verbal diarrhea around Daniel lately. It had been a long time since anyone really _listened_ and as a result, Jack was starting to talk too much. 

Daniel nodded. "I know. Come here." 

Jack hedged on over to the younger man. Came ninety percent of the way and let Daniel make up the rest of the space. Waited until Daniel's arms came around him, stood there like a child as Daniel lifted his shirt off. Held him close, kissed him. Jack kissed back and then _clung_. 

"This isn't me. This isn't like me —" 

"Shh." Daniel massaged his scalp, encouraging Jack to just lean in and let the younger man support his weight. 

He sagged. So close to crying, but didn't have any tears left. Wanted to give Daniel everything at that moment, even say he loved him, but couldn't. Never. 

Daniel's warm hands rubbed circles over the smooth skin of his back. Felt good. Daniel sucked gently on his neck, in that sweet spot that only Daniel knew about. He sighed and tilted his head back. Wanted this. 

It was odd. Surreal. The soft glow of Daniel's room. Music in the background. And Daniel being quiet for once. It was more like a religious experience than sex. This was more like… making love. 

Daniel guided them to the bed, lowered Jack down, and rested between his thighs. No grinding hips or gnashing teeth, just deep kisses, a slow, stroking tongue, and slow, stroking hands. 

He tangled his fingers in Daniel's soft hair, loved that hair, and pressed their bodies together. Something in Jack was breaking apart, an inch at a time. 

Daniel sat up a bit, unbuckled his pants, and shucked them off, never breaking eye-contact with Jack. He had to smile at the fact that Daniel almost never wore underwear. Jack followed suit, disrobing more slowly, until they were both naked. Then he laid back and waited. 

"Give me one second," Daniel whispered. He got up and went to the nightstand. Jack shivered in the sudden cold. 

Daniel came back with a small vial of… what looked like massage oil. He poured some out – lavender, nice – and warmed it between his palms. Started on Jack's shoulders, which were just in knots. Trailing two fingers down Jack's chest, pausing to caress his nipples, his ribs, then moved on down. Got some more oil and worked around, under Jack, pulling his lower back muscles out to the side for a bit, then moving to brush down his hipbones, working the stuff into his thighs. 

He relaxed and just let Daniel take care of him. And if Daniel was ever waiting for a declaration of love, that was the best Jack could do. Jack could just trust Daniel to take charge of him. 

The younger man worked his calves, then his feet, it felt fantastic, and then murmured, "Turn over, Jack." 

He did. No hesitation. No masks or walls. He put all that baggage down before walking into the bedroom. 

Daniel worked his back for a long time, until he was completely relaxed. Every muscle melted and sang, and he murmured his appreciation. By the time Daniel got to his ass, Jack couldn't fight his arousal anymore. His buttocks were squeezed and kneaded expertly, then lifted and parted slightly. 

Ah, Christ. Daniel was going down on him again. It should be sick, but fuck, it was so good…. Hot, wet tongue probing him. Flicking rapidly over his hole in a way that could only be considered obscene, which turned Jack on like a light. He raised his hips and Daniel worked lower, tonguing his balls. 

All of this very quiet. Very somber. Jack was not one to shout his head off during sex, and clearly, Daniel was focused. 

A well-oiled hand began stroking his cock, causing Jack to open his mouth a little in a silent plea. He rubbed his face against the bedding and came up on his knees. Fully expected Daniel to just keep going, but Daniel waited. And waited. And waited. The pad of his thumb ghosting over his asshole, again and again, until Jack grew impatient. 

"I want it. I want you. In me." There. He wouldn't beg. Not for another minute or two, at least. 

Daniel didn't beat around the bush then, just slicked up a slender digit and slowly inserted it into Jack. Felt so odd. Just the tip, really, couldn't be more than an inch. Wasn't uncomfortable, wasn't pleasurable. 

Slowly, using what must be tons of oil, Daniel slid his finger in… and out… in… and out… over and over. All the while, he rubbed Jack's back and kissed the swell of his ass. Jack started circling his hips a little. 

Lots of images flashed through his mind. All the pornos he'd rented, watching some hot blonde girl getting fucked, wondered if he'd look like that, giggling and gasping and totally animalistic. Or if it would be like Sara's romance novels, with lots of sap and tenderness and parting rosebuds and great revelations and poetic declarations that come with orgasm. 

But it was just Daniel. His Daniel. Adding another finger, the middle one this time. 

"Ow, Jesus!" Unexpected, so he couldn't hold it in. 

Daniel slowed down even more but didn't stop. "I know. It burns. You'll be all right. I'll never hurt you." 

Yes. He will. He just won't know it when he does. He'll _break_ Jack like dry tinder. 

Daniel scissored his fingers, opening and stretching him, taking his sweet time, all the while kissing Jack's back and stroking his dick, keeping him hard. A third finger then, and Jack trembled because it hurt in a way totally different than being cut or punched – it hurt and tore from the inside… from the inside.… 

_You scream like a woman._

American dog. 

Faggot. 

"Jack? Y'all right?" 

He opened his eyes. Daniel had draped himself over Jack's back, pressing kisses to his shoulder and neck. 

"Daniel…." Ragged. Didn't want to do this. But.… Wanted to get beyond this. Wanted to make Daniel happy. Wanted to fix what was broken. 

"That's it." Daniel urged him up onto all fours and then positioned himself between his legs. He could feel the fleshy hardness, listened as Daniel coated his own cock and then began to ease in. 

Could hear Daniel grit his teeth and go slow, so slow. 

Squeezed his eyes shut and waited for the pain, but there wasn't much. Some tearing, mostly a feeling of fullness. He started panting. "Can you just… can you just hold it a minute?" God, he couldn't believe he's _doing_ this. 

"Yeah — almost — almost there, Jack." Daniel gave him a few seconds, then pushed on. 

"Ah — God…." 

"I'm in. All the way." Daniel panted. The younger man began to nuzzle his neck, nip at him. "I'm gonna make it so good for you, Jack. I promise." 

Trusted him. Jack trusted him. 

In and out, very slowly, until Jack relaxed and the burn began to fade. They were both sweating, glistening in the candlelight. Jack regretted not being able to see Daniel's face, and he was at an awkward angle, couldn't see anything reflected in the window. 

It was Daniel's breathing that made him hot. The chocked, gasping breaths that let him know how turned on Daniel was, which in turn, made Jack hard and eager. Once the pain was gone, the rhythm was easy. 

Whispered, "Talk to me." 

"Ha… ah… God… Jack, no words.…" 

"Try," he said, forcing himself not to tense up as Daniel rolled his hips, stretching his hole with that slender cock. 

"Tight, Jack; never had it so tight and warm.… Ugh! Guh-God —Yeah…." Daniel sped up just a little bit, his thrusts getting a bit shallower. 

In the spirit of experimentation, Jack clenched his ass. 

"Shit, fuck." Daniel panted in his ear. "Go down. Get.… Get down a little." 

Jack didn't know if that meant further down on the bed or lower on his knees, but Daniel didn't wait for him to figure it out; he just pressed on him until his shoulders hit the mattress and his ass was hip-level to Daniel. The new angle worked wonders and Jack hitched a bit. 

"Found it," Daniel whispered triumphantly, aiming all his thrusts there, nudging at Jack's prostate until Jack thought he just might break his no-screaming-during-sex rule. "Jesus, Jack…. Do you want it?" 

He nodded, unable to speak. 

"Want you," thrusting faster, only the pelvis moving now, "wanted you for so long, mm, Jack —" 

"Daniel.…" God. Unbelievable. Indescribable. 

"Touch yourself, Jack." 

It took some maneuvering, his arms were starting to fall asleep from the weird position, but he managed to sneak his hand down his torso and fondle his dick. He was pulsing, fully erect, so he jerked on his dick at a faster pace. Daniel followed suit. 

"Yeah, that's it," he encouraged the younger man. 

"You want it faster?" Daniel wheezed out, snapping his pelvis back and forth. 

"Ugh… yea — yeah." 

Daniel pushed him down and then sort of hovered above him, like he was doing push-ups, but rocking his body up and down above Jack's, sliding that hot cock all the way in and out of him now, not holding back. The mattress springs groaned and squeaked with every delicious thrust. 

He spread his legs. "Fuck me, Daniel. Fuck me, do it." Well, he meant to say that, it kind of got smooshed up into the pillows. Daniel understood the sentiment. Gripped his hips and lifted him again, this time nailing his ass. 

_God_ it felt good to get fucked. Jack didn't think it could be like this, not for a man, not for him. He stretched up, sweaty hands gripping the headboard for support, his stomach lean and near to spasming…. So good…. "God, yes —" 

"I want you, I want you," Daniel kept whispering. "Jack… want you." 

He's got me, Jack kept thinking. "Daniel. Harder." 

Daniel collapsed on him, his forehead on the top of Jack's spine, his wet hair sticking to Jack's glistening back. The younger man jabbed his cock rapidly in and out of him now, hitting that node every time, and Jack pumped himself, riding a wave of adrenaline. 

"Har — der…." Fast and furious now, Daniel going at him until the headboard scraped against the wall, Jack's dick and hand trapped under their weight, so hot and sweaty and messy and good…. 

"Oh, God, oh, God, please," Daniel begged. 

Jack rolled his hips four or five times and howled his release. Daniel muttered his thanks and then pulled Jack back onto his dick, forcing Jack to take his cock, which Jack could feel throb against his inner walls, making Jack fuck himself while he was loose and relaxed from coming, and then Jack could feel the hot liquid in his guts, hear Daniel roar into orgasm. 

So, a bit like the pornos and a bit like the bodice-rippers, he thought, as they sprawled onto the bed. 

Daniel practically passed out, flopping over on his side and yanking Jack possessively to him. His face was red and sweaty in the candlelight. He looked gorgeous. 

Jack grinned a bit. "That was —" 

Daniel watched him warily. "Was it okay?" 

Oh God that was precious. Daniel just made him come. From getting fucked. And he wondered if he'd done it right. "No." 

That pretty face fell a bit; a sharp intake of breath. 

What he said came out sloppy and all rushed together, but Daniel would figure it out. "It was better than okay. It was like. um…." Like he'd been lost in the dark for ages, only to suddenly discover — "the moon." 

Daniel smiled indulgently at him. Putz. 

"I can't be articulate with your jizz dribbling out my ass," Jack complained, which got them both chuckling. 

"I don't know. You're doing all right. That was almost _romantic_." Daniel batted his eyes playfully, kissed him, and petted his hair back. "You been watching Lifetime TV again?" 

Jack growled and snuggled closer, mostly to get out of the wet spot. "You come a lot." 

"Only once," Daniel defended. 

"No, I mean, you have a lot of come. And it's getting cold." 

"Oh!" Daniel quickly got up and balled half the covers up. Jack rolled a bit, too sore and shaky to stand, and let Daniel ball up the other side and throw the comforter on the floor. 

"We go through a lot of those," he noted 

"I know. I'm not used to doing so much laundry." Daniel crawled back in bed. "Worth it, though." 

"Hey, I'm not complaining." The skin around Daniel's eyes crinkled with pleasure at the unspoken compliment. Ah hell, might as well speak it. "Sex doesn't fix everything —" 

"No. Didn't for me, either, Jack. But knowing someone wanted me even though I felt like a failure… well, it helped." 

"You did really good tonight, Daniel. I don't think you realize what a big deal this was for me." 

Two fingers stroked up and down Jack's back and triceps. Daniel said, "I'm glad. I have no regrets." 

Jack couldn't say that, because he'd always have regrets, but… "I have no regrets with you." 

He touched their foreheads together, tracing Daniel's lower lip with his finger. Shaped like a bow. Pretty. Daniel had a pretty mouth. Daniel was a pretty man. 

Daniel was Jack's, now, in a way he didn't understand was even possible until that moment. "No, I do have a regret. I regret we didn't do this sooner." 

"Well," Daniel beamed, "we've got plenty of time to make up for that." 

Time. 

"Yeah." The candles were getting low. Jack trusted they'd burn out on their own and he and Daniel wouldn't wake up trapped in an inferno. The stereo had long since stopped with "Bolero" and the Spanish guitar ballads. The apartment fell silent; the night, frosty. 

Jack was okay with resting his head on Daniel's chest. Wasn't his usual spot, but, well, he wanted the comfort. He gave himself permission to take it. He also gave himself permission to fall asleep first. 

Closing his eyes, he knew – he'd never be closer to anyone than he was to this man. This man to whom he'd given everything. To whom he showed everything, and miraculously, still wanted him. This man. Whom he loved. 

~*~


	32. Secretus

**32\. Secretus**

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel half-expected Jack to wake up the next morning and pull back. It would have been a natural Jack-reaction. The man didn't mind sharing space with Daniel, but sharing deep conversation, no, Jack didn't like it and sometimes got angry.

Surprisingly, Jack changed a bit, for the better, after that night. He was more… openly affectionate. Touched more. Let his voice get soft and gravelly. Flirted. On base, even. Always safely, of course, but…. He seemed… happy. Like Daniel had made him happy. Which made Daniel just about glow. 

At night, when Jack could pry him out of his lab before seven, they would cook dinner together. Jack was always willing to be adventurous with the menu but stubbornly insisted on the same beer. They would eat with the TV or radio on in the background, then Daniel would read and Jack would do the dishes. 

Didn't take long before Daniel stood behind the older man, his hands sneaking overtop of Jack's, lacing together under the suds and warm water, and then the kissing, the tongues, God, grappling for each other. Couldn't get enough. 

Daniel topped again, but mostly he was happy to just let things happen however they would. Jack was usually more aggressive and took more control; that was just his personality. It stopped being a big deal about a week later. Pretty soon, Jack probably wouldn't even begin to notice – he was more remarkably adaptive than Daniel originally gave him credit. 

So he hadn't been able to say the words. But Daniel knew anyway, of course. 

Jack's sarcasm was less biting now, more teasing. Foreplay. Even Sam and Teal'c noticed a warmer gaze, softer smiles. 

Like Jack was falling in love with him. 

Like they were on a honeymoon. 

And the _moment_ that thought popped into his brain, the inevitable question came along with it – Sha're. What fate Sha're? Sha're, his _wife_. 

Daniel glanced over at his desk calendar and gasped. "Fuck." 

He picked up the phone and dialed Hammond. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

SG-1 sits around the briefing room, watching the MALP footage of the temple on Abydos. Kasuf sticks his face in the camera and taps the lens impatiently.

Daniel looks restless, naturally. Jack knows this must be hard for him. Still, it's hard for Jack. Harder than he expected. 

Clearly his throat, the younger man says, "Now that was a few moments ago. Now, obviously Kasuf's unburied the Stargate and is waiting. For me." Daniel looks to him. 

"One Abydos year to the day. They kept their word." Carter's voice. 

"And I have to keep mine," Daniel says firmly. 

Jack doesn't like this one little bit. Going back only serves to remind Daniel of Sha're, which will only depress him and jeopardize their recent happiness, which Jack knows makes him a bastard for even worrying about, but…. 

"Daniel, you said you'd go back there in a year with Sha're," he says. Sounds slightly desperate, he knows. 

"I know that," Daniel agrees with a slight nod. "But at least I can tell her father that I haven't given up; that I won't give up." 

God, of course Daniel wouldn't. Daniel's an honorable man, and that's one of the reasons Jack wants him so bad. But would he really say — "That she's a Goa'uld?" 

Blue, blue eyes. "Yes." 

He has to admire Daniel's desire to be honest, but there are some truths you just don't take home to parents. "Does he really need to know that?" 

Now Daniel looks angry. Like he's suggesting Daniel tell deliberate lies or something. "Kasuf is family. I owe it to him." 

Family. Like a punch to his gut. 

George clears his throat. "I have nothing against you returning to Abydos, Dr. Jackson, but Colonel O'Neill and Captain Carter are due in Washington, and I can hardly ask the president of the United States to change his schedule." 

Shit, that's right, Washington. He absolutely doesn't want Daniel to do this by himself. No way. 

"Well," Daniel hedges and Jack can see him strain to be respectful, "if I don't go back now, they will bury the gate for good. It's what I told them to do if I never came back." 

Good, Jack thinks. Bury it and be done. Even if they track down Sha're from the farthest pocket of the universe and manage to get the Asgard to de-snake her, they can't go back to Abydos — and if the gate is buried, neither can the Goa'uld. But of course, he is just saying that because he wants to keep Daniel with him. 

Jack feels ashamed. 

Daniel looks to him for support but Jack can't find his voice. 

"General, I lived among these people for over a year…. And I couldn't possibly be safer than in the company of Teal'c." 

Well thanks very much. Jack loves the big guy but who is the one who _always_ covers Daniel's ass? Okay, poor choice of words.… 

"Thank you, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c looks pleased. 

"You're welcome." Daniel smiles sweetly in that Daniel way, and then shoots him a look like Jack should have spoken up for the cause by now. 

"Daniel Jackson assures me the Abydonians are a peaceful people." Teal'c says to the general. And that's not the concern. Daniel will be safe, physically, but mentally — Jack doesn't want to leave him to face this alone. 

"They're a great people, are you kidding?" He looks to Carter. "In fact, what do you say you and I blow off this medal ceremony thing and go with the boys?" 

George smiles and shakes his head. "You may leave when ready," he says to Daniel and Teal'c. Jack tamps down on his worry. He's mother-henning too much. 

So he bites his tongue when Daniel packs, haphazardly throwing on the desert robes that make him look far too much like Luke Skywalker. Tucks his glasses in his shirt – wasn't going to take them, but Jack insisted because he knows how blind Daniel is without them even if it is a familiar world – and fiddles with his gear. Jack insists he take one of his knives, but Daniel refuses, saying he won't have any need for it. 

Jack squares up with Teal'c, giving him that look. The one that tells the Jaffa to take care of his Daniel or he'll come through the gate and rip the rest of the universe to shreds. Teal'c gives him an answering glance – the one that says he'd guard Daniel with his very life. Either that, or he's constipated. 

He walks them to the gate room, having to suck his stomach in tight to keep from pulling Daniel off to the side and giving him some last-minute advice or hugging him or some such crap. He has a bad feeling about this. 

The gate activates. 

"So we'll come and pick you up in a couple of days, yeah?" 

Daniel starts up the ramp, trying not to trip over his ceremonial scarf. "Say hi to the president for me." 

Yeah. Sure. You betcha. "Will do." 

Teal'c and Daniel step through the Stargate, and Jack can't quite put his finger on it, but it's at that very moment that he senses something is going to go very, very wrong. Ah well, probably just separation anxiety. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

They arrive in the Abydos gate room. Sunshine from the corridor leading outside scatters over the ancient offerings covered in dust. Kasuf is waiting, but looks shocked to see Teal'c.

Daniel holds out his hands. "Don't be afraid, good father. This is Teal'c." 

"Tel nol te'ak. Ma'weh. I am honored," Teal'c says, bowing. 

"Mai'ak ak maafi," Kasuf replies. 

That's kind, he thinks. 

Daniel kneels, as is custom, and says, "Good father, I ask your forgiveness, I have returned without your daughter." 

Kasuf gives him an odd look. "So it is." 

Guilt. Damn guilt. He wishes Jack were here. But that might make it worse. "I fear that my search may continue for many seasons." 

His father-in-law turns away abruptly. "Come." 

They follow him across the sands to the nomadic village, weaving through the marketplace where many old friends wish Daniel well. Eventually they enter Kasuf's large tent. There, stirring a pot by the fire, sits the woman who takes his breath away. 

"Sha're!" Ripped from him; he's suddenly dizzy. She's — 

She's — She's pregnant! 

Teal'c activates his zat gun ad takes aim. 

Kasuf runs to stand in front of Sha're. "No, take my life in exchange!" 

Daniel's hand shoots out and smacks Teal'c's arm down. "Nobody's killing anybody." There has to be another way. Another option. 

"Sha're is no longer your daughter," Teal'c says gravely. 

How can he make the man understand? "Kasuf, we're in danger." God, so many thoughts, each clamoring for attention. He's been searching for Sha're for over a year and she's been here, on Abydos, for… "How long has she been here?" 

Kasuf shrugs. "More than a season." 

Jesus Christ! "What?" 

His father-in-law frowns. "Why are we in danger?" 

Why are they in danger? Why? Because she's a Goa'uld, damn it, how could he not know? 

"Husband!" Oh, God, Sha're's voice, in desperation, in pain. He won't listen! 

"I am _Sha're's_ husband." Cold, cold steel, just like Jack. He won't show her any mercy. "Who are you?" 

She steps forward. It smells like her, like citrus and sunshine and Sha're…. "My Daniel, please!" 

Teal'c raises the zat again. "Come no further." 

"Son," Kasuf interrupts, "do your eyes not see?" 

How to explain this? "Sha're has been taken by a Goa'uld.…" He won't know what that means, he'll think it just means kidnapped. "A demon now lives within her. One of great power and evil." 

She lowers her head. "He speaks the truth, father." 

It astounds him. Her humility. Her tortured expression. So very like his beloved wife. 

"But you said you returned to me." Kasuf holds her. It angers him, this sick display. 

"And I have," she says to him 

"Stop it!" he bellows. Didn't realize he had such harshness in him. "Okay, just stop it. You can't fool me. I know what you are. I've seen what you are." Using his wife like a damned puppet! 

She's crying now, reaching out to him. "Please believe me!" 

He shakes his head, backs away. "No." 

"The demon sleeps because I am with child." She gulps, starts again. "Hear me, husband. The Goa'uld that has stolen my soul is called Amaunet. She sleeps for the sake of the child." 

If that's true… why would the Goa'uld care about Sha're's child? Why is Sha're with child? "Why?" he asks stupidly. 

She ducks her head again. "If she awakens, the child will come forth… stillborn." 

He looks to Teal'c. Sha're's carrying a child that the Goa'uld actually want. Why? 

The Jaffa looks ill. "I have never known a Goa'uld to father a human child." 

Oh Jesus fucking Christ! " _Apophis_ is the _father_?" 

She starts to sob. "Yes." 

Then… then Sha're was raped… while in the body of Amaunet… and was forced to carry the baby… well, of course, it's not like they'd heard of a woman's right to choose on Abydos… of course Sha're came back home and is going to have the baby… Apophis' baby… Apophis' evil, Goa'uld-spawned baby. He was going to be sick. 

"Then Apophis is here also," Teal'c says, looking to the tent flap. 

"No, he has hidden me away." She chokes on her words, real tears, real Sha're-tears, he can see that now. "He does not want to reveal the true purpose of this child to his enemies." 

Yes, what is the purpose of the baby? "What true purpose? Sha're, what does Apophis want with a human child?" It seems too cruel — 

"He wishes the child to one day become his new host." This she says the tears flow down her cheeks. Its like he can see himself, walking over a pond of thin ice. The ice is breaking and any second he's going to fall through into cold darkness and never breathe again. 

He looks to Teal'c. Never heard of this. It's incestuous! It's revolting! It's utterly diabolical; it can't be true. "Is that true?" 

"Yes," Sha're assures them. 

Can't handle it. Just can't handle it. Thought she was gone, but she's not; she's at home, but she's pregnant; but not with their baby, with Apophis'; but it's just a shell, a host of the Goa'uld; and it's her, but it's not her once the baby comes; and where is Jack; and why was she raped, and Daniel too; is it a power thing, are they just animals; and Sha're has been used how many times, while he's been unfaithful to her; and it's too much, it just hurts too much and everything just shuts down. 

Daniel leaves the tent, walks all but four feet, and falls over to the ground. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Washington is a city of concrete and marble. Everything is very white; the streets are old and run in circles or very, very straight lines. Lawns are meticulous. Everything competes for attention, like in New York, but there's something more methodical about it – drawing the eye to places of power.

Good thing Carter is here. He'd be very bored, very shortly. 

Part of Jack hates Washington, and generally can't stand the kind of Airmen that come out of it. It's so _proper_. But part of him is damned impressed, and feels the need to hold his spine a little straighter, walk at a clipped pace, make it count. 

"You know, I can navigate myself across a galaxy, but I get lost every time I come to Washington." 

She laughs and buys it. Jack doesn't tell her he knows damn near every nook and cranny of the Golden Triangle, from one end of Pennsylvania to the other end of Mass Ave, and has even done a little espionage in some dark alleys in between. 

"Don't worry sir, these are my old stomping grounds." 

She looks pretty good in her dress blues. Jack could almost see her as, well, any woman. Like, not one under his command. "Sorry to hear that." 

She nods. "Two years at the Pentagon trying to make the Stargate program a reality, I'd say it was time well spent, considering." 

Ah. So that's what she was up to. Carter, traipsing about the Pentagon, making sure Daniel Jackson and he would one day meet. Yes, time well spent. 

"Ya think?" He holds the door open for her as they head in to the Armed Services building. 

The party is in full swing, swank little cocktails, a band, people running around, dressed to the nines. 

"I see General Hammond's already doing the rounds," she whispers to him. 

Jack smiles. George is a familiar face. "Oh yeah. He's a player." He snaps his fingers. "He knows how to work a room. Punch?" 

"Yes sir, thanks." 

He runs off to get them a drink, prays it's spiked, and tries not to worry too much about Daniel. He should be home by the end of the day, a little keyed up to renew the search for Sha're and feeling guilty about the _amazing_ sex they've been having… but Jack was sure if he just endured another talk, Daniel would curl up around him in bed and they'd work it out his way – with time and well… more sex. 

Ignoring the vice wrapped around his gut, Jack carefully poured the punch into little crystal cups. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Teal'c does not know what to make of this situation. He stands awkwardly in the tent, watching Daniel Jackson's wife cry into her father's arms. She reminds him somewhat of Drey'auc.

"Daniel no longer loves me," she cries. 

That he is certain is false. "You are incorrect. Daniel Jackson cares for you greatly." He merely also cares for O'Neill. 

It is a warrior bond. Loving Bra'tac does not mean he loves Drey'auc any less. So it is with O'Neill and Daniel Jackson. 

Kasuf huffs. "He does not behave as a husband." 

Nor did Teal'c, when he first learned that another man had touched his wife. But it is not his place to comment on fidelity. 

"I have seen your face before," she says. Teal'c looks at her. She is indeed beautiful, even now, after sobbing. He regrets that they must once again meet under these circumstances. 

"As First Prime of Apophis, I was present when the Goa'uld invaded your body. For my part I can only ask your forgiveness." He bows. 

She shakes her head. "No, it is more. You are the traitor, Teal'c!" 

It stings, hearing those words, but he is more amazed that she retained such knowledge. "How can you know this?" 

"My mind is full of images… Apophis railing and cursing your name. His place among the system lords is no more." 

What excellent news! He must tell Daniel Jackson right away! "Then these are the memories of the Goa'uld that now sleeps within you?" 

She nods. "Yes." 

He must tell Daniel Jackson… he will not like it… for it will mean that his wife will remember Apophis bedding her… but there is an entire universe at stake, and Teal'c believes he will understand. 

He goes outside to find Daniel Jackson sitting before a setting sun, rocking back and forth, sand sifting from his fist. 

"This is most difficult. Daniel Jackson, we must return with Sha're through the Stargate immediately." 

The man seems lost and hollow. "Why?" 

"As long as the Goa'uld within her sleeps, Sha're shares its memories." 

Turns away from him, and Teal'c hopes the younger man will see the larger picture. "So... so... so what?" 

He cocks his head. "It would be of great strategic benefit to have access to the Goa'uld genetic memory, even for a few days." 

Perhaps he has chosen the wrong words, because Daniel Jackson whirls around and narrows his eyes. "What? Access? Do you... do you know who it is we're talking about?" 

Yes. Does Daniel Jackson? "I do. And soon she will give birth." 

"Well hasn't she gone through _enough_?" the young man cries. 

Even now, he is concerned for Sha're above all else. He truly loves her and Teal'c knows now more than ever that he is an honorable man. But O'Neill would agree with him, it might be their only chance. 

"I mean, what are you talking about here, Teal'c? Handing her over to Maybourne for study?" 

He cannot believe Daniel Jackson truly thinks him capable of such treachery. The young man is overly emotional. Teal'c must appeal to his greater sense of good. "The knowledge she possesses could one day save your world." 

"I don't care!" the young man shouts. "I will not put her through that, too! I'm sorry!" 

This is not like Daniel Jackson. He must be harsh. "More sorry for yourself, it appears, than for Sha're. Within a matter of days, Sha're will give birth. The Goa'uld within her will reawaken. Apophis will take this child and leave Abydos forever. That is the fate you choose for Sha're by allowing her to stay!" 

Daniel Jackson is quiet for a moment, Teal'c can almost see the implosion behind his eyes, then the younger man levels him with a look. "Then I'd like a moment with my wife." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack finally tracks down Carter and hands her a drink. He meets her father, General Jacob Carter, and in about three seconds the both of them have sized each other up, and each approve. Funny thing, that.

In way, Jacob reminds him of his father. Must be a military thing. Proud and calm and caring, but cold and at a slight distance, too. Jack's spine straightens out of pure reflex. 

He smiles. "Sam's Dad? I've heard nothing about you, sir." Toothy grin. Gotta rib Carter when he can; it's good for her. 

Jacob smiles back. "What's there to say about an old general waiting to retire?" 

Carter looks utterly chagrined. She's so like Daniel sometimes – easy to embarrass. "Dad, I talk about you all the time." 

Time to switch tracks, before Dad there gets angry and they spark a family debate. He always could tell when one of those is brewing. "I retired myself one time. Couldn't stay away." 

Jacob seems disbelieving. "From your analysis of deep space radar telemetry? 

Ye-ah, so the man's not buying their cover story. "Well, it's just so damn _fascinating_ ," he says dryly. 

He shoots, he scores. Jacob gives him a smile – a real one this time. "I'm sure it is. Otherwise you wouldn't be receiving the Air Medal." 

Oh boy, poking the coals. Jack doesn't think he can out-and-out lie to a general, and Carter's _dad_ nonetheless. Time to get out of Dodge. "We have our moments. Um, will you excuse me? We just don't get out of Cheyenne Mountain enough. I'm gonna grab some air. Outside. General? Captain? General? Waiter?" 

George smiles at his joke and waves him off. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel walks back into the tent, the scent of burnt stew and grief a tad overwhelming and he's at least grateful that Kasuf has left and they have some privacy.

"You hate me," Sha're immediately says, sounding for all the world like a lost child. 

Hate her? How could he, when he was the one who — "No, no, I love you." He's certain of it. He loves her. She is his home, she is his sanity… she is the most radiant, warm, brave, beautiful woman he's ever met. She's what he's been missing, what he's been trying to replace — 

"You forgive me?" So hopeful. So sincere. 

And here it is he that's been unfaithful to her. Willingly. While she's endured…. Because he couldn't protect — 

He goes to her, wraps her up in his arms. "God, there's nothing to forgive." She's real. Solid. Pliant and warm and whole. 

She buries her head against his shoulder. "I'm so ashamed." 

He knows the feeling. Quite well. "I hate what's been done to you. I hate Apophis for the child that's been growing inside of you. Look at me." He strokes her face tenderly. "I love you. Everything else…." All that's happened — even Jack — oh, God, Jack…. Can't call him meaningless. "I love you." 

She smiles. "Will you stay?" 

He shakes his head. "I can't." She looks crestfallen for a second and he can't bear it. "Because I want you to come home with me." 

And hope again. He's put hope back in her eyes. And that's all he's ever wanted.… 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack's found a bar to hang out in for a while. He can't really stand those smarmy Washington get-togethers anyway. Good old beer, sports on all the TVs, and now if only Daniel were here, it might actually be fun for a second.

A young man in his thirties approaches the bar – Jack immediately takes in his profile – wavy dark hair, brown eyes, weak chin – bad habit, taking someone's stats, but the second the man says, "Colonel Jack O'Neill, right?" Jack knows he's on defense. 

Finishes a sip of his beer and answers, "I'm not sure." 

"You are one hard man to find, let me tell you." 

Ah. Game on. "Who are you?" 

"Armand Zellick. I'm a journalist." Kid nods to the barman. "I'll have a beer." 

Jack puts his empty glass down in front of the kid. "Why don't you take mine? I haven't touched it." 

He gets up and buttons his jacket when the kid asks, "Heading back to the Stargate so soon?" 

Don't look up. Don't hold a breath. Just play it cool. "What?" he says casually. 

"Big, round, grayish thing; can't miss it." Okay, definitely trouble. Did he not sense this trip was going to be trouble? 

"I don't know what that is." There, that sounds natural. 

"Before you go, Colonel, maybe you should hear this. I knew you were coming here, so I planned ahead, and I got a little lucky." The kid pulls a tape recorder out of his pocket and plays back the conversation he and Carter had on the steps, regarding the Stargate and Carter's old stomping grounds. 

He is well and truly screwed. 

"This isn't all I've got to go on, mind you. I have a source that told me about a device that can send people halfway across the galaxy and back again. Just looking for a little confirmation." 

Ah. Glad he's not dealing with a spy; he's not up to shooting someone in the head this early in the afternoon. Still, to catch their conversation from that far away, the kid had to be packing some heavy gear. "Parabolic microphone across the square, maybe?" 

Kid grins. "Something like that." 

"Technology, eh." He sighs. Time for Cover Story A. "Listen, I don't know who your source is, but I'm a colonel in the U.S. Air Force. A C-5 Galaxy is a transport aircraft, one of the largest in the world. That's what I was referring to." 

Zellick isn't buying it and frankly, Jack can't blame him — it's weak. "And the Stargate?" 

He smiles cryptically. "You got me on that one." 

Heads back to the party, takes three different bluff routes on pure instinct, and makes a beeline for the general. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel invites Teal'c back into the tent after he calms Sha're down. She is still worried, of course.

Sha're says, "After the child is born, the demon within me will awaken again. She will punish the child for my disobedience." 

He finds it somewhat odd that Sha're would consider the child _hers_ and not Amaunet's. That she would not want to destroy it and be free.… Perhaps she has not aborted because she knows that once she does, Amaunet will take over again. But she is worried that the child will be hurt on her behalf after it is born. Which means she is instinctively protective of it…. Is that Goa'uld mind control, or does Sha're honestly want the baby? 

"We would not allow that to happen," Teal'c reassures. "The Goa'uld will have become our prisoner." 

Yes, prisoner. They would save the… baby… and then put Sha're in holding until they could contact Thor. Jack would see to it that Maybourne and the others would keep their paws off of her, he was certain. Most importantly, he'd be with Sha're every step of the way, instead of waking up in the middle of the night, worrying about what she was going through. 

He takes her hands. "We'll have time together before the child is born. There'll also be questions asked of what you remember of the Goa'uld, but I will be there the whole time. I won't let them hurt you. We can study what keeps the Goa'uld dormant; there may even be a way we can remain together." 

Kasuf speaks up. "Apophis will return. If she is gone, he will destroy the whole village." 

Shit, the village. He didn't think about that. Strangely, he doesn't care so much. Which isn't like him. It's just been so long! He needs to get her home, now! 

"Tell them an enemy of Apophis came and stole Sha're and the child away," Teal'c suggests. 

Kasuf brightens. "And it will be the truth, yes? Go with them!" he barks to Sha're. 

Daniel winces. "You can't just tell her like that." 

"I am her father!" Kasuf insists. 

He blinks and turns to his wife. "Sha're, I won't force you." 

She hesitates. "Once the demon returns, will I be with you then?" 

He wants to cry. "No. 'Til we can find a way to remove the Goa'uld within you, they would lock you up in a cell." She won't know what that word means; he never had to teach it to her. "That's something like a cage." 

Teal'c clarifies, "So the Goa'uld within you will not harm others." 

He looks deeply into her eyes. "Look, I won't pretend this is going to be easy. But at least this way Apophis will not be allowed to hurt you, or your child, ever again." 

"Then I will come with you, my Daniel." He touches his forehead to hers, so grateful. 

"Apophis may return at any moment," Teal'c warns. "We must leave now." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack tells Hammond about the reporter, and of course lets the general know he's denied everything, but he motions to Carter and they all realize – they've got a big problem….

And somewhere in the back of his head, even though Daniel is a gazillion-light-years away, Jack can feel a tug, a deep pain and an urgency sweep through him. Probably nothing too dire; Daniel never can keep himself out of trouble for long. 

But Jack's had Daniel inside him, they've been tied, and flaky as it may sound, no one has ever gotten deeper into the very core of Jack O'Neill than Daniel. A faint warning bell is going off in Jack's head and he can only hope Teal'c is doing his job right about now. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Teal'c, Sha're, and Daniel scramble into the gate room on Abydos. There's a rumbling noise above them.

"Daniel, do you hear it?" Sha're stops, clings to his sleeve. 

"Hear what? What's wrong?" 

Outside, animals panic and people start shouting. 

Teal'c jerks around. "A Goa'uld ship approaches." 

He looks to his wife, but she's backing up, eyes glazed. "Sha're, what's wrong?" 

Her eyes glow. "My lord comes for me." 

Oh shit. Teal'c activates his zat gun. 

"No!" He runs to her, cups her face. "Sha're, fight this thing. You have to hold on a little longer, please!" 

"Daniel?" She's so lost and in pain and it's breaking him. 

"It's okay, it's gone now." 

She gasps and falls over. "Daniel! Daniel!" Screaming now, cutting through everything. 

"Teal'c! I think she just went into labor." Oh God, oh God, oh God, don't panic! 

"The Goa'uld's return may have induced it," Teal'c says. 

"Daniel!" God, can she survive a Goa'uld birth? 

"Daniel Jackson! We must leave now!" Teal'c helps him carry her out of the temple just as they hear transport rings activate. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

They meet in a classroom and he and Carter discuss with the general what is to be done about the reporter. It's Jack's job to keep the kid busy while they trace him.

"Do you know how to find him?" Hammond asks. 

Jack squares his shoulders. This is an old hat. "I'll let him find me, sir." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel leads Sha're to the cave on Abydos with the drawings of Ra. He sits behind her and holds her belly while she twists and moans with labor pangs.

"It's okay - when the pain comes you have to breathe." That much he remembers. 

"It comes too soon!" she cries. 

She's worried about a premature birth and he's worried any birth at all will kill her. "The baby will be fine, you just have to worry about getting through this yourself." 

"When the child comes forth the demon will return." 

Yes. And he'll lose her. Again. "I know." 

"Apophis comes for me," she says, frightened. He would give his life this very moment if it meant she'd never have to be afraid again. 

Teal'c steps forward with a cool cloth. "It was not the ship of Apophis." 

Ah shit. What are they dealing with now? "Then who?" 

Reluctant to meet his eyes, Teal'c says, "It was the ship of Heru'ur." 

Sha're stiffens. "He is a great enemy of Apophis. He will take my child." Again with her child. Her child. God, he hates himself, but the whole thing freaks him out. "Aaaah, Daniel!" 

He holds her tight, lets her squeeze his hands until the small bones rub together. "It's okay, breathe, breathe! This is where we hid from Ra. Remember? Remember?" 

"I remember," she pants out. 

"We're safe here," he reassures. 

"You are incorrect, Daniel Jackson. If it is Sha're that Heru'ur seeks, he will find us. We cannot remain." 

He looks at Teal'c with all the venom he can muster. "Well, I am not leaving her." 

Teal'c seems worried. "The moment the child is born, the Goa'uld within Sha're will re-emerge." 

"I _said_ I am not leaving her, Teal'c." Loving someone means staying. Loving someone means never leaving that person behind. 

Jack…. 

It's like he can feel Jack pull at him, some invisible string halfway across the galaxy, but he shuts it out and focuses on the here and now. 

"Then I will do what I can to keep the Horus guards away from you," Teal'c says, and Daniel relaxes a bit. He's underestimated Teal'c, who would clearly die for them, and he knows he's asking a lot, the unreasonable, but dammit, it's Sha're! 

"You do love me," she says, exhausted. 

He kisses her cheek, remembers a different pair of warm brown eyes beside him, squeezes his eyes shut against the memory and whispers, "Yes, I do." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack sits on the bench outside the building. Doesn't take long.

Zellick comes up and sits beside him. "Looking for me? Find out what the reporter knows while your people check on his credentials?" 

Smiles, has to give the kid his props. "Ah, that's a cliché, Armand." 

The reporter sobers. "I'm very good at this, Colonel. I've been doing it a while. Granted, this'll be the biggest story I've ever broken, but then it's the biggest story anyone's broken, isn't it?" 

Okay. Talking is good, time to prod. "Tell me?" 

"Look, I've got all I need. I don't need you, but I've gotta admit I wanted to meet you anyway. When this breaks you're gonna be a hero." 

A hero. Please. That will be the day. He smiles tightly. He's done stuff that would make this kid wet his pants. "Cool. So what're you gonna say about me?" 

The kid grins. "Subtle. Okay, I'll do you a favor. You're the team leader of a unit called SG-1. Between nine and twelve such units operate out of Cheyenne Mountain under NORAD. You use a device called a Stargate to travel light years from here." 

Well fuck. "Wow, that's pretty amazing." Non-committal answers are key. 

The reporter stands and so does he. "The program costs us over seven billion. The defense department hopes to bring back superior technologies to offset the expenditure." 

Money. Talking money reminds him of someone.… Kinsey? Maybourne? Simmons? "Armand, let me do you a favor. You don't know anything. Don't embarrass yourself." 

"I know that those two brilliant flashes in the night sky a few months ago were really alien ships on their way to attack earth. You blew them up." 

Daniel. Dead. Left behind. Suffocating in a death glider. He blew them up. 

" _I_ did?" He takes off his sunglasses and looks the kid dead in the eye. "All right. If you're gonna go ahead with it, I wanna make sure you get one thing right. It's _O'Neill_ , with two L's. There's another Colonel O'Neil with only one L; he has no sense of humor at all." 

Turns to go. Should be enough time for Hammond to have the skinny. 

"The story's going to run, Colonel," the kid calls to him, trailing behind. 

"It'll read like science fiction, Armand." 

"This country has no official secrets act!" 

Doesn't look back; doesn't have to. "I know that." 

"You can't stop me." 

Look how hard he's trying, kid. "I know that too." 

The reporter stops him as he reaches the door. "You don't think anyone will believe it." 

There are people that believe the moon is made of cheese, Jack thinks. "I'm sure someone will. But it's not me." 

"We'll see." The kid walks away, and Jack has to admire his gall. Plus, even though blowing the whistle like this is enough to merit a bullet to the head, the desire to tell the truth rings a bell in Jack – reminds him of Daniel. 

"That's two L's, right?" the kid jokes as he runs down the stairs. 

Squeaking tires. Accelerating engine. A car speeds at the kid, hits him hard, hurtles him up onto the windshield where glass crunches, and then drops him on the ground where he rolls like a barrel. 

Jack flies down the steps and points to a random Airman. "You! Nine-one-one, ambulance, now!" he holds the kid's head still. "Don't move, don't try to move," he says. 

The kid is choking on his own blood. It doesn't look good. "You - you did this." 

Shit, no. "No. No, we didn't do this." 

"Son of a — aaargh...." He dies. Just like that – gone. How many times has he seen a life wink out like that? 

Zellick dies thinking Jack is not a hero, but a murderer, which he supposes is the truth the kid was really after. Jack lowers the broken head, blood smearing on his palms. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 /p>

 

Teal'c stands outside of Kasuf's tent, listening to the Horus guards torture the old man, trying not to think about how many times he'd done that himself.

"Where is your daughter?" 

"I cannot tell you what I do not know!" the man cries. "What, would you have me lie?" 

Teal'c enters the tent, calls to the Jaffa, and zats him. He must find a way to keep the guards away from Daniel Jackson and Sha're. When O'Neill learns of this, he will be enraged, but the situation has gone beyond that which Teal'c could hope to master…. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Sam meets with her father in the same classroom Colonel O'Neill pulled her into to discuss the reporter. She explains that since Colonel O'Neill witnessed an accident and had to fill out a report, they couldn't meet with the president.

"Well, it's the honor that matters, whether I can be there or not," her dad says. That makes her pause. 

"Dad?" 

He hedges then comes right out with it. "I have cancer, Sam." 

She blinks. She thought he said… "What?" 

"Lymphoma." 

Oh God. "That's bad." 

He smiles, so like him. "Well, it's not good. But it's not the worst. Don't you worry. I'll be around for a while." 

For a while! As in, terminal? "Oh God, Dad!" 

"I was hoping to stick around long enough to see you become an astronaut. Sweetheart, I don't care what it is you do in that mountain, nothing in the world can live up to the chance to actually go into space. Not for you – it's something you've wanted your whole life. And I admit it, I want to see you fulfill your life's dreams before I die." 

It hurts so bad, not being able to tell him… but she took an oath, and that comes before everything, even her own father. "It's _my_ dream, doesn't that make it up to me?" 

"Fathers have dreams too." 

She chokes. "Sorry, I can't —" 

His eyes go cold. "All right. Like I said, this thing's going to go on for months, so you don't have to check up on me tomorrow." He shrugs. Just like him, to shrug and make light of things when he's hurting. 

"Dad, please don't go like this —" But he's walking out the door. 

"Congratulations on the medal. I'm sure you deserve it." 

"Dad!" but he's already gone. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

The cave only serves to echo Sha're's screams. Daniel is poised between her legs, doing his best to assist in the labor. This isn't so bad… just like on Argos.…

"Daniel!" 

Except this time it's _his_ wife doing the screaming. 

"It's all right, Sha're, push." 

"No! The demon will come back!" 

She's barely more than a child herself. 

"You have to push." 

"But I will lose you Daniel! Please!" 

Ah, God, it's breaking his heart. "Look at me." 

"Please!" 

"Look at me! I _love_ you! I will _always_ love you. You understand? The Goa'uld will never be able to take that away from us. Do you understand me? Never." 

She breathes, looks at him sadly then tenses up again. "Oh Daniel, the pain comes again!" 

What can he do? What could he ever do, to shield her from pain? "I'm here." 

"Daniel! Daniel!" 

"I'm here! And now the baby is here. Now you have to push." 

"Oh, oh...!" 

And then, it happens. The final push, and the crown, the head, the _baby_ slips into his arms, covered with blood and tissue and slippery in his hands – life, beautiful life, not a monster at all, but a baby – Sha're's baby, which, like they all do when first greeting their fate, begins to cry. 

"It's a boy," he says with wonder, wrapping it up in a soft blanket. And then the memory of Apophis' plans sink in, and dread fills him. "It's a _boy_." 

Gold eyes flash and he knows his wife is gone. "Give me the child." 

A Horus guard comes in and activates his zat. "Bring me the child of Apophis." 

Daniel has no idea what to do about this. Should he give the child over to such a horrible enemy? Should he try to run away with the kid, and abandon Sha're in the process? Should he let Horus have at Amaunet? 

She crouches like a tiger. "Apophis, my pharaoh, will destroy you both for this." 

"Tell him Heru'ur has taken his son as his own." The Jaffa fires on Sha're, then deactivates his helmet. 

It's Teal'c! "We have little time. We must go." 

They race over the dunes, the moon their only light, having to stop several times to avoid being seen by Horus guards. They reach Kasuf by morning. 

Daniel hands him the baby. "It's your grandson." Kasuf's grandson. But not Daniel's child. 

"He is beautiful, yes?" the old man asks. 

It hurts. "Yes, he is. You cannot remain here, good father; you must go into hiding." And as soon as possible, or Amaunet will come for them. 

"You are telling me that the demon has returned to reclaim my daughter?" 

Daniel nods his head. Failure, again. "Yes." 

Yet Kasuf does not judge him. He simply says, in practical fashion, "I will need a nursing woman." 

Teal'c agrees. "You must find one whom you can trust. One who is not afraid of hardship." 

Sometimes Daniel forgets that Teal'c is a father; that Teal'c has gone through this before. 

"So it may be that I will never see my daughter again?" 

Such guilt. "Sha're is strong, good father, she will not give up. And neither will I." He vows it, then and there. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Back at the ranch, or rather, the mountain, Jack and Carter get their medals from Hammond in the briefing room.

Good old George seems a bit chagrined. "I'm only sorry that the accident made it impossible for the president himself to do this." 

Carter, ever herself, says, "I beg to differ, sir. It's an honor to receive it from you." 

"Congratulations, Captain." He turns to Jack. "I know Dr. Jackson is expecting you on Abydos; you may ship out when ready." 

Yes! Daniel. Jack has so much to tell him. And it's been too long, he needs to get his hands on Daniel, make sure he's okay, because if Jack knows Daniel, by now he's gotta be twitchy and near out of his head to find Sha're. 

Carter nods to him. "I'll be geared up and ready to go in ten minutes, Colonel." 

"Dismissed." George waits, but Jack doesn't go. And he knows damned well why. Jack doesn't say a word, but George knows him well enough by now. A sigh, and then, "It _was_ an accident." 

A lengthy pause. Jack can't drop Hammond's gaze. George thinks it was an accident. But Jack's instincts say otherwise, and Jack knows he's right. 

"Yes, sir." He whispers. The general walks away. 

No, he's been kidding himself. George knows it wasn't an accident either. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Teal'c's master plan involves dressing up like a Horus guard and using Daniel as a prisoner to get close enough to Heru'ur to activate the gate home. Daniel agrees, but by the time he's brought before the Goa'uld, he's having second thoughts.

"Who is this human?" Heru'ur says. 

"He claims his people are the Tau'ri, enemies of Apophis," Teal'c says. 

" _You_ were among the warriors who defeated Apophis?" 

What a snot. 

"As a matter of fact, I was. The Tau'ri are stronger than you think." He pauses, takes a deep breath, and puts on his best poker face. "An alliance would prove extremely useful to both of us, against our common enemy." 

Heru'ur sneers. "Alliance? You are _nothing_. Your _world_ is nothing. Once I have conquered Apophis, I will make slaves of your people. You will serve me." 

Yeah, right, in hell. "No, I don't _think_ so." God, even now Jack's become a part of him. Especially now. 

Heru'ur doesn't seem to like his flip comment. "Kneel before your God!" 

Teal'c whacks Daniel on his thigh and he pretends it hurts and goes down. The Goa'uld raises the hand device to Daniel's forehead. Just then the gate activates. 

"My lord, the Stargate!" Teal'c calls. 

"Apophis comes, stand ready!" Heru'ur shouts. The guards flank the gate, but before anyone enters the temple, Teal'c takes out two servants of Heru'ur with his zat. 

Jack and Sam emerge in the middle of the firefight. 

"What the hell?" Jack shouts. "Cover me!" he says to Sam. Bullets and zat blasts scatter everywhere. 

"You dare challenge me?" Heru'ur says, puffing up, raising his ribbon device. Daniel pushes his arm down, saving Jack, and it earns him a swift slap across the face. He falls over, spitting up blood. 

From over his shoulder he can see –Jack, in classic Jack-style, smiles and says, "I was thinking about it." 

He throws his knife and it pierces straight through the hand device and Heru'ur's palm. Jack's got that possessive look Daniel sees on him whenever someone is threatening Daniel's life. Which is far, far too often. 

"You will pay for this insolence!" the Goa'uld screams, activating the ring transport and disappearing into the ship above them – for the sarcophagus, no doubt. 

"Teal'c?" Sam says, going to where the Jaffa is propped up against a column. 

Jack looks around. "Somebody explain to me what just happened?" 

"It is a lengthy tale, O'Neill." Teal'c sounds tired. 

"Long story, Teal'c," Jack corrects, on autopilot, going over to check on Daniel where he crouches. 

"Good thing you remembered the shield's deflection capability's directly proportional to the amount of kinetic energy directed at it," Sam says. 

Has she been watching MacGyver again? 

"Right," Jack says blankly. He turns to Daniel, who can't look him in the eyes yet. "We should get out of here." A hand on his arm, warm, solid, reassuring. Daniel just can't look at him. 

The Stargate starts dialing up again. 

He knew this was coming. "Apophis." Mumbled into the fold of his robe. 

"What!" Jack sounds good and truly pissed. 

"We must cover ourselves," Teal'c cautions, so they hide among the offerings in the temple. 

The Stargate engages; Apophis steps out of the event horizon. "Jaffa. Kel Amaunet?" 

And suddenly Sha're emerges, dressed in full regalia. The light reflects off her glittering silver and white beads, mesmerizing. How long she's been hiding there, Daniel doesn't know. 

"I am here, my pharaoh." Her voice – the Goa'uld has retaken control. 

"The child?" Apophis enquires. 

She looks down. "Stolen, by your enemy Heru'ur. Forgive me, my pharaoh, for failing you." 

Daniel worries that Apophis might strike her, but instead, he caresses her face. That must pass for love in a Goa'uld. "Jaffa! Shal tek!" 

A serpent guard starts dialing the gate. Are they just going to let them go? Not even try to attack, to take Sha're back? When will they get another chance like this? He looks to Jack, but can't see him among the large vats and stacks of hay. 

"Come home with me, my queen." Apophis takes her hand, but Amaunet looks straight at Daniel. He stops breathing a moment, everything becoming at once clear and blurry. Then they go through the gate, and it disengages. 

SG-1 comes out of hiding, Daniel last, burdened with too many thoughts. 

"Sir, there's still a Goa'uld ship on top of us," Carter reminds them. 

"Dial us home, Captain; please." 

Sam dials the gate. 

Jack's hand is back on his shoulder and he wants to shake it off. He doesn't deserve comfort. "You all right?" the older man says softly. 

Yes, baby Daniel. Poor Daniel. Keep making excuses. Keep living half-truths. No more! "No. No, I'm not. But I will be." 

Teal'c says with some amazement, "She looked directly at us, Daniel Jackson, yet she did not reveal our position." 

Yes. Because Sha're is still inside. Waiting for Daniel to free her. A princess in a tower of flesh. 

He says nothing – still won't look at Jack. The GDO beeps – the iris code is sent. 

"Let's go home," Jack says and Daniel blindly follows. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

They showered; Jack was very concerned because Daniel wouldn't even acknowledge his presence. In fact, Daniel seemed so out of it that he kept scrubbing himself raw.

"Daniel…. Daniel.… Daniel! Enough! You're gonna run out of skin." Jack stood under the spray, clutching at Daniel's tense arm. 

"Let go, Jack." Soft, but utterly serious. Jack dropped his arm, leaned on the wall instead. 

"What is it, Danny? Tell me?" 

But Daniel turned away, grabbed a towel, and muttered something about the debriefing. 

That's when Jack learned about it all – Sha're, the kid, Heru'ur, everything. Daniel told the whole story to everyone in a manner so composed and rock-solid that Jack almost wondered if Daniel had been body-snatched and if he should have Fraiser run some tests. 

But those eyes. Those blue, blue eyes. He knew that look. It was Daniel all right. His Daniel. Hurt bad. 

"We'll get her back," Jack said, when everything else was said and done. 

Now Daniel looked at him, and Jack couldn't quite make out that expression. Something dark was growing in Daniel. It was finally happening, wasn't it? The loss of innocence. 

"Yes. I will." 

Ah, Daniel will. Because it was all his fault, wasn't it? Daniel blamed himself entirely. Jack couldn't wait to get him home – hold him tight, run his hands down that aching back, kiss the inevitable tears. 

But Daniel felt so closed off from him. 

Hammond sent them home for the night, saying they could fill out official reports tomorrow. George was compassionate that way and they were fortunate to have him in charge. 

Jack walked Daniel down the hall, heading toward the elevator, then stopped when he realized that Daniel was standing in the middle of the hallway, staring out into space. 

"Daniel?" 

"Yeah?" 

"You coming?" 

"No." 

Jack turned around and waited. And waited. "Because?" 

"I think — I…." 

Okay. "You? Think…?" 

"I need to talk to Teal'c." Daniel wrapped his arms around him in that self-hugging way that Jack had not seen once in the better part of six weeks. 

"Teal'c?" Did this have to do with Sha're? 

"Yeah. I want to spend some time with Teal'c." 

Jack folded his arms. "You just got back from three days with Teal'c." 

Cold blue eyes. "Yeah?" 

"Don't you need…?" The rest was left off, Jack painfully aware of the cameras. "Don't you want to go home?" 

"No. I will later. I think Teal'c may be the best one to turn to… about this." 

The best one to turn to. Not Jack. "Teal'c." 

Daniel nodded. "Teal'c." 

Jack stepped forward. "Daniel? Is something —" Well, obviously something was wrong. "Did I do or not do something?" 

Shook his head, hugged himself tighter. It made Jack grind his teeth. "No. I just think.… Jack, I want some space." 

"Space?" 

"Yes, dammit, space. Time. Away." 

"From me." 

"Yes." Shoulders hunched over now, Daniel lost in a sea of green BDU's. 

"With Teal'c." 

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Not like _that_ , Jack. I need a friend." 

And hello pain. "Daniel, last time I checked, I was your friend." 

And there it was – that look. Swimming in guilt, was Danny boy. Guilt and shame. Over him. Over Jack. Over what they did. 

"No, Jack, last time I checked, you were something else." Daniel looked at his feet. Trembled. 

Christ, was the young man going to cry right here in the hallway? 

Didn't want to be with Jack? Fine! Go to Teal'c. Let Teal'c clean up the mess. Best of luck, pal. "Fine." 

Daniel nodded. Jack turned to go, then turned back around; he was so frustrated with Daniel he couldn't see straight. "See Teal'c and then you'll go home? You've got your car here?" 

"I'll have an Airman drive me." 

Ah, yes. He'd forgotten they'd do that. Been ages since Daniel needed…. "And you'll eat? You'll sleep?" 

"Yes, mom," Daniel said, annoyed. 

"Daniel, I _know_ you. Why don't you just come home, I'll give you as much space as you want but —" 

"No!" Daniel said, much too loudly. "No. No, Jack, you won't. You can't. It's not this space I'm talking about," Daniel whispered, hand going back and forth to illustrate the distance between Jack and himself. "It's the space here." Daniel pointed to his head. "Here." His heart. 

Oh. So. Oh.… So, that's it then. Daniel wanted… to what? Exactly? Break up with him? End their non-existent relationship in the middle of the hallway on Level-28? Like this? After less than a fortnight ago Jack had totally let down all his walls and let Daniel fuck him, let Daniel have all of him? So, he runs into Sha're and suddenly decides, all by himself, that he wants some fucking _space_ from Jack. 

Of all the ugly, cowardly, un-Daniel like things.… 

Jack glared, didn't say a word, and turned on his heel, marching straight into the elevator and punching the topside button without a look back. 

~*~


	33. Pestis

**33\. Pestis**

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel walked around the halls for a few minutes, trying to clear his head. Hollow footsteps. Clunk clunk clunk. That little scene with Jack did not go well, but considering….

He stopped for the third time at Teal'c's door. Raised his hand to knock, but the door opened by itself. 

"Daniel Jackson." The big guy appeared from behind the door and sort of… loomed… over Daniel. 

"Teal'c." And where to go from there? 

"Please enter." Teal'c bowed. 

"Thanks." He took in the sparse surroundings of Teal'c's quarters. Bed with a plain comforter, gray walls, standard-issue shelving units. If not for the candles, it would have looked like no one lived here. "Nice place you have." 

Teal'c bowed again. "Would you like to sit down?" He gestured to the mats on the floor. 

Grateful for the momentary reprieve, Daniel nodded and sat Indian-style. Teal'c joined him and there was an awkward pause. Apparently Teal'c was going to wait for him to speak. 

"I… I… I'm at a loss for words." 

Teal'c cocked his head. "It appears you have lost much more than that." 

Ah. Now he realized why he had come here. It was like talking to Yoda. Damn Jack for making them watch that movie. He cleared his throat. "I'm very… confused." 

Teal'c nodded. 

"And hurt." It sounded so lame to say it out loud. 

"Naturally." 

"And… I feel like a failure." On both counts – Sha're _and_ Jack. 

He was met with a knowing look. Teal'c placed a fat, brown candle between them. He lit it and the scent of cinnamon filled the air. "Dr. Fraiser gave me this from a place called Yankee Candle. It has a most pleasing aroma." 

"Yes," Daniel said stupidly. 

"Daniel Jackson. I believe your heart to be conflicted. This happens many times in the course of a man's life, or so my master has said. I believe the only way to find where your heart truly lies is to Kel-No-Reem." 

Ah. The meditation ritual. Yeah. "Ah, Teal'c? Not to knock Kel-No-Reem, but I'm not a Jaffa…. Do you really think it will work?" 

An eyebrow. "If it does not, what have you lost but a few moments to quiet your mind?" 

A quiet mind. Something he could only get in Jack's arms, lately. Don't think about Jack. Think about anything else. Quiet mind. "Deal." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack went home with every intention to get drunk. But his stomach was so twisted in knots he just couldn't imagine putting a glass to his lips. He sat in his chair, turned on one light, and picked up a book.

As he got older, he'd come to love books almost as much as Daniel. They were a source of escape, gave his active mind something to focus on when he got jittery. And all those countless hours in foxholes, on helicopters, in stakeouts, books were his sanity. No one knew that about Jack O'Neill except Daniel. No one on earth, not even Sara, knew half as much about the real Jack as Daniel did. 

And vice versa. Or so he thought. 

He was angry with Daniel, very angry. To push Jack away made sense, he supposed; it's probably what he would have done. But Jack had bent so far for Daniel – almost to the breaking point – would it have killed Daniel to come home and give him a chance to help? 

People could rationalize anything if they wanted it bad enough. Even extra-marital homosexual love affairs. 

Maybe Daniel didn't want him anymore. Maybe he realized he really wanted Sha're. And Jack couldn't blame him for that, either. Hell, _he'd_ take Sha're over himself any day. 

And turning to Teal'c to sort things out. Made sense, again, to get an outside perspective. One who had knowledge of the Goa'uld, was torn apart from a wife and son, as Daniel was now… but it irked him. 

Irked him? No, it drove him nuts! He loved Teal'c, that was his brother, but the idea of Daniel going to anyone else but Jack for support…. It smacked of a lack of trust. It hurt. 

Daniel's absence _hurt_. The house was too quiet. The bed sheets too cold. The shower wasn't cluttered with extra shampoo bottles and an overnight kit didn't fill up the corner. Books and papers weren't strewn all over his desk. And he hated that, dammit. 

Without Daniel, everything was so damned clean and ordered. 

The younger man left him feeling hollow and the scary part was, Jack wasn't sure if he could forgive Daniel for that. Not unless he was really, really sorry. And Daniel was too fucked up right now, his head just an absolute mess after seeing his wife, Jack could hardly expect rational thought and an apology anytime soon. 

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

Dr. Daniel Jackson was going to leave him. 

He knew this would happen, he just didn't foresee it so soon. Took his eye off the board. 

Daniel was going to leave him and he'd be alone again. Not that he couldn't handle that. Not like he hadn't been alone since… he could remember, really; no matter how many people were in the room. But with Daniel it had been different. Daniel had taken residence up inside Jack, and now…. 

He felt like a shell after the hermit crab had left. Empty, with only the echoes of the ocean for company. Jack hated to feel dependent on anybody, and he hated Daniel for making Jack want him, need him, mourn his loss…. And he loved Daniel, loved him for being the kind of man Jack could never, ever be. And he ached. He just ached. 

Time to be grown up about it. Time to slip back into control, let Daniel flounder and work it out for himself; time to build up those walls again, one brick at a time. 

He opened his book – _Wuthering Heights_ of all things – and settled into the chair. Daniel would come back of his own accord or he wouldn't, but either way, Jack O'Neill would still be Jack O'Neill. And that was the only thing he could ever depend on. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jack expected some word from Daniel over the next week, but the man holed up in his lab day and night. Not even a note to explain the need for space – not so much as a ‘hey, I think we should just be friends' speech in passing.

Avoidance. Jack's good old friend. Perhaps too much of his personality was rubbing off on Daniel. He had no idea how Sara put up with him for so long. 

They didn't eat in the mess together, they didn't drive home together, they didn't sleep beside each other. Jack thought about taking some Melatonin or Tylenol PM, but he knew there be dragons, and decided on chamomile tea and plenty of exercise, until he was so exhausted he could crash into dreamless sleep. 

He had no idea how Daniel slept. He had no idea _if_ Daniel slept. He just trusted Teal'c to make sure the young man didn't have a meltdown. 

The big guy had spent nearly every evening with Daniel, behind closed doors. Jack learned this via the base's rumor mill. He tried, very hard, not to listen to any insinuations. Didn't notice the odd looks some of the technicians and younger Airmen gave him in the halls. Just played it cool. Hey, whatever. If Daniel wouldn't cheat on Sha're with him, he sure as hell wouldn't cheat on Sha're with Teal'c. Very straight, very much in love with his wife, Teal'c. 

But considering the irresistible force that was Daniel…. 

Well, he just wouldn't think about it. They were just talking. About feelings. And lighting candles and stuff like that. Jack pretended it was some kind of therapy and focused on all those wonderful reports backed up on his desk. 

He was not a happy man. 

When the mission to BB6-3Q1 came up, he nearly jumped at the chance to take it. Getting the team back in the field would be good all around. Daniel would have something new to explore and get his mind off things. Jack would have a role to play. He could keep an eye on Carter and Teal'c and things would fall back into a normal rhythm. Once their working relationship got back on an even keel, he was pretty sure Daniel would talk to him again. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel's somewhat nervous on this next mission, but he hides it well. They gate to BB6-3Q1 and he's thrilled to see such magnificent architecture. They must be a very advanced race… wherever they are.

"Witness if you will, a ghost town," Jack says, mocking _The Twilight Zone_. 

"A very advanced ghost town," Sam says. 

Yes, he was just thinking that. "The architecture may indicate an Earth ancestry." 

A beep, and Daniel looks down at his instrument. At that same time, Jack steps in some squishy yellow goo on the ground. 

"Aw, man.… Anybody have any idea what this is?" the older man whines. 

Sam walks over to investigate. "I hate to say it, sir, but it seems like they might have a bit of a pigeon problem." 

Daniel smiles to himself as he checks his data. Even now, even after everything, Jack could be such a kid sometimes. 

"I don't see pigeons," Jack says petulantly, "and there should be a lot of them." 

"Well, whatever did this, did so pretty recently." Sam looks around. 

"Perhaps they suffered the same fate as the inhabitants of this city," Teal'c says. 

"Conjecture, Captain?" Jack says. 

Daniel risks a glance. That is definitely Jack's flirting voice, only Sam doesn't know it yet. Jack wouldn't _possibly_ start flirting with Sam just to make him jealous, would he? Because Daniel was not the jealous type. That slight burst of adrenaline and the irrational urge to step in front of Sam and glare at Jack? That didn't exist. That got to go in The Box. The ‘not thinking about Jack like that anymore' Box. 

Sam takes some readings. "My data is consistent with the probe, sir. No radiation, the air's almost 100% pollution free. Teal'c, it doesn't seem very likely that the Goa'uld are responsible for this, does it? I mean, what with the indigenous people of this planet being... gone." 

"That is correct. A Goa'uld attack would have resulted in much more damage. Any technology would have been destroyed." 

Suddenly something whizzes by Jack. He ducks to avoid it. "Wow! Did you guys hear that?" 

They all look around and then Daniel sees it – on Teal'c's back – oh, God.… A large — really large — winged bug is on his back. It looks like a cross between a mosquito and a fly from hell. 

Jack approaches Teal'c slowly. "Oh," he says, with obvious disgust. 

Sam trades wary looks with Daniel. "What are you gonna do?" 

Jack takes out his pistol and aims it at the creature. Teal'c looks on with obvious trepidation. Daniel wants to say something but is afraid to even move. 

Just as Jack cocks the pistol, the bug flicks its scorpion-like tail up and stings Teal'c. 

"Ah!" the Jaffa screams in pain. He leans into a pole in front of him. Daniel's heart starts racing. 

"God!" Jack cries. He tries to shoot the bug but it zooms away too quickly. He rushes over to Teal'c and supports his weight. "Carter... Novocain." 

Sam moves forward to lend assistance. "Yes, sir." 

Daniel looks up. Oh, holy fucking shit. "Uh... we'd better get outta here." 

Jack shoots him a look and bites off, "No, really?" 

No time for sarcasm, Daniel responds seriously, "No, _really_." He points to the sky behind them. 

Jack turns to look. Suddenly, hundreds of the bugs appear over the top of a building, heading straight toward SG-1 with a single purpose. 

"God! Let's move! C'mon! Let's go!" Jack shouts, rushing them all toward the gate. Jack and Sam each take and arm and begin helping Teal'c to follow Daniel. 

"I'll dial," Daniel says, and his hands have never worked so fast to punch in an address. 

Through the gate all at once, they rush into the embarkation room and Jack immediately starts screaming, "Lock it up!" 

Sam's right behind him with, "Medical team!" 

Teal'c lands face down on the ramp. Daniel can see the wound and it looks bad. 

General Hammond comes into the gate room and hears several hits on the iris. "What is that?" 

He looks to Jack, and the older man answers out of breath, "Those are bugs, sir! Big... ugly bugs!" 

The hits against the iris continue on for several seconds before the wormhole disengages. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack and his kids have been standing outside the infirmary for a good forty-five minutes, waiting on Doc Fraiser. She comes out and tells them that Teal'c looks like he's suffering from some sort of virus – fever, aches, chills –which his symbiote isn't curing.

"That's not the worse part...." She glances up from her report. 

Oh, hearing that just makes Jack feel _so_ good. "What is?" 

She looks at him with real fear. "The blood sample I took showed a rather disturbing amount of DNA that doesn't match Teal'c's." 

Both he and Daniel say at the same time, "What does that.…" he trails off, letting Daniel finish. 

"...mean?" Daniel says somewhat stupidly. 

"Actually, I'm not sure. Um, to be perfectly honest with you, sir, I think I may be out of my league here." Fraiser looks to Hammond and Jack doesn't know what to say. 

Surprisingly, it's Carter that comes up with an option. "General, if I may? When I was assigned to the Pentagon, I had the chance to work with Dr. Timothy Harlow. He's one of the world's top geneticists and he has full security clearance," she says. He likes that she can offer up something. Daniel used to do that back when Daniel and he were _speaking_ to one another. 

George nods. "He'll be here before the end of the day." 

Actually it only takes six hours. Fraiser, Carter, and Dr. Harlow play catch up, meanwhile, he goes to visit with Teal'c. 

The big guy does not look so good. He's turning pale, ashy, and is moving sluggishly. "I have felt great pain, O'Neill, but never a sickness such as this. I do not enjoy it." 

Yeah, that gets him a little misty-eyed but he puts on his colonel-mask. "Nobody does." 

"I am also... feeling something else." 

Please be referring to the bug and not anything like a sudden affection for Daniel, Jack silently prays. "Hey... I'd be scared too." 

Teal'c gives him a very serious look. "I do not want to become something other than who I am." 

Jack doesn't want that either. "Just let the doctors do their job." That's what doctors are for. He can't help, not at the moment, so he just has to put all his faith in the scientists and be there for Teal'c, the way Teal'c was there for him with the time-capsule-booby-trap-baseball-from-hell. 

"O'Neill... you are my friend. When there is no longer any hope... I would rather die." 

Jack swallows and gives a slight nod, but does not answer. He picks up his book and reads a bit to Teal'c until the Jaffa can close his eyes and sleep. 

Teal'c gets some rest and soon after, Jack is summoned to Hammond's office. 

He knocks on the door and the general looks up from his desk. "Come in." 

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Takes him all of a second to notice Harry Maybourne is also in the room. "Oh, for cryin' out loud." 

"Colonel O'Neill," the insufferable little man says. 

"Hello, Maybourne." Won't give him his title; absolutely won't show any respect. 

"I thought you would want to see this." George holds out some papers. 

Jack walks over, takes the papers, and reads them. Then he looks up straight into General Hammond's eyes. Rage. "You've got to be kidding." 

Hammond shakes his head. "It's an official order. I have no choice." 

Fuck they have no choice, George, get the president on the phone! "Well, uh... what about —?" 

"The president is currently unavailable." 

Maybourne smiles at him. "This facility is frontline. Your mandate is search and retrieval. Mine is research and development. As a source of information, Teal'c has been invaluable to your operation. Now he may prove equally invaluable to mine. This organism could be the biological weapon —" 

Okay, that's enough. Jack interrupts, "He saved your smarmy ass and everyone else on this planet. Does that count for anything in your world?" 

Ignoring the insult, Maybourne continues. "Absolutely. I am thrilled to get the chance to thank him personally." 

Son of a bitch. "General Hammond, request permission to beat the crap out of this man." 

The bastard looks a little nervously to Hammond and then back to Jack. General Hammond has a hint of a smile on his face as he appears to contemplate the request. Jack looks at Maybourne, contemplating what method of torture to use first. 

Really, Jack knows better. Red tape and chain of command. But he doesn't like this one bit, and if they hurt Teal'c just a tad, he'll raze the ground. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Less than half an hour later, Jack, Daniel, Carter, Fraiser and the general watch as Teal'c is led – in a biohazard suit and leg cuffs – down the hallway.

Daniel shakes his head, hugging himself. "How can we just let this happen?" he asks Jack. 

Like Jack wants to hear that now. Like Jack wants to hear _anything_ about guilt from Daniel right now. He rolls his shoulders and rubs his forehead. "What do you want me to do?" Take out every commanding officer from the mountain to the Pentagon and just let Teal'c suffer here on base? 

Carter speaks up. "As much as I don't trust Maybourne, I have to admit, Timothy is the best and he gave me his word he was gonna help Teal'c." 

Maybourne walks forward, followed by Harlow, who smiles briefly at Sam. Then Teal'c is escorted out by two guards, slowly, in his shackles. He is followed by General Hammond and Fraiser. 

Teal'c glances at his teammates as he is lead away. Trust. 

Oh, Jack is pissed. Jack is thrumming with it. "What's with the chains?" 

"Maybourne," George grounds out. 

Carter makes a disgusted sound. 

"Of course." Jack can taste bile. 

Daniel looks away, unable to watch Teal'c being led down the corridor. 

Jack is so angry! He's angry that he can't help Teal'c; he's angry at Maybourne for treating Teal'c this way; and most of all, he's angry at himself, because on top of everything, he just let Daniel Jackson down and that hurts most of all. He can't take it anymore. 

"God!" he shouts, walking away from the others. 

Later, in the briefing room, Carter suggests they go back to the planet and look for valuable technology, even something that might help Teal'c. The thought of being able to actually _do_ something besides sit and worry is tempting. But he takes one look – one look at Daniel – and imagines him hurt the way Teal'c is, and flat out says no. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Doesn't take long for Teal'c to go mad with pain, break free, and go AWOL. Daniel knew they should have somehow prevented him from going with Maybourne.

Jack, Sam, and Daniel immediately drive to the spot where Teal'c's driver gave his last emergency radio transmission. Teal'c's van looks a little worse for the wear. Jack and Daniel climb in the back. Sam checks on the driver. 

Jack bends down to check Harlow's pulse. 

"The driver's unconscious," Sam calls to them. 

Daniel sees something that makes him go cold. "Jack...." Oh, God. 

Jack finally turns to him, somewhat impatiently. "Yeah?" 

He points to Teal'c's larval Goa'uld. "It's alive." He reaches down and picks it up. Jack recoils, looks for a minute like he would strike it from Daniel's hand, but he can see the same thought forming in Jack's mind – this is Teal'c's only chance. 

From that moment on, Daniel can see Jack go into full colonel-mode. He's very, very grateful Jack has that in him sometimes. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Back at the infirmary, Maybourne is sitting on a bed next with his arm in a sling. "I want as many personnel and canine units as this base has at my disposal, five minutes ago!"

Daniel follows behind Jack, who breezes into the room like he owns it. "All of whom report to me. I'm running this search." 

Oh, he loves it when Jack gets commando. Secretly, Daniel kinda wishes he had power like that. 

"This is still my responsibility," Maybourne objects. 

"Oh, I'm holding you responsible, Maybourne, don't you fret." Jack throws a glance at Daniel. "But the troops are SGC. I'm running the show. You got a problem with that, take it up with Hammond." 

Maybourne gets up and takes his jacket. "I will." 

Jack blocks his departure. Daniel has to admit, Jack going all alpha – on somebody else, at least – is very attractive. 

Maybourne quietly says to Jack, "Striking an officer is a quick way to a court-martial." 

Shit, and Daniel wouldn't put it past Jack at this point, because Maybourne messed with one of his team. 

But Jack just looks down his nose at the man. "I'm not gonna _hit_ you, Maybourne. I'm gonna shoot you." 

Maybourne walks around Jack, who pivots slightly to let him by. 

"All right... what the hell happened here?" Jack demands of the expert. 

"Well, he just went crazy," Harlow says. "He's so strong. I've never seen anything like that." 

Daniel breaks in. "What about the larval Goa'uld?" 

Harlow shakes his head. "I don't know. He must have taken that out himself." 

Take it out himself? But… "Why?" he has to ask. 

Jack really looks at Daniel now, perhaps for the first time in over in a week. "Um... he told me he'd rather die than change into something else." 

He swallows. So Teal'c told Jack that, and Jack is considering doing it, he knows Jack is. Fine, cross that bridge later. Why on earth would Teal'c commit suicide that way? "Well, there has to be quicker, less painful ways to kill yourself, even for a Jaffa." 

"I don't think that's the way it's going to happen," the doctor says. "I mean, I doubt that he will die." 

Daniel is growing impatient. "Uh, he depends on that Goa'uld to live." 

"The alien insect's venom is affecting his physical makeup. With every passing moment he is ceasing to be a... a Jaffa. The larva may be the only thing that's holding that transformation back." 

Click. Lights go on in Jack. "So by taking the worm out he might be expediting this... change?" 

Doesn't make any sense; Jack just said he'd rather die. "Why would he do that?" 

"Well, the metamorphosis... could be altering his mind," Harlow says. 

Oh great. Jack and Daniel share a worried look and then head off to the briefing room to put together the teams to find Teal'c. 

While Jack and Hammond pore over maps, Daniel runs up the stairs to tell them, "We've got him." They follow him to the control room. "They were picking up a radio signal in the field and patched it in here." 

Jack grabs up the handset. "Teal'c?" 

"O'Neill, it is I. Do not allow Colonel Maybourne to follow me." Teal'c sounds so tired. Jack looks somewhat relieved that the big guy is still in his right mind. 

"He's not going to," Jack assures. "Where are you?" 

"I will not say." 

Sweat breaks out on Jack's brow. "C'mon, Teal'c, where are you? We can help you." 

"It is too late." So lost and lonely, even over the radio waves. 

"All right, listen." Jack wipes his head. "You're changing. You don't want this to happen. You told me you'd rather die. Teal'c?" 

Silence. 

"Teal'c!" 

Usually Daniel is the one in need of rescue. He's never seen Jack so upset. Obviously, Jack is composed and in military-mode, but Daniel knows him. Knows every aspect of him. And Jack is very worried. Sick with worry. Anyone who knew what to look for – tight gut, held breath, clenched jaw – yeah, Jack was coming out of his skin. 

Daniel thinks back to his sessions of Kel-No-Reem with Teal'c. Forces himself into calm, then reaches out and lays a hand on Jack. Jack looks over at him and centers…. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel touches him for the first time in days. It grounds him. Helps him buckle down. 

Jack, Carter, and Daniel head back to the big-ugly-alien-bug planet and bring back a live specimen for Harlow to study. Jack hates to admit it, but he was afraid. They all were. Still went, though. What wouldn't they do, for one of the team?

Janet and Harlow study the bug, while Daniel and Carter debrief Hammond. It appears the final stage of the metamorphosis requires a dark place. 

"It looks like the inhabitants of the planet were human... possibly from Earth, originally," he says. 

"Daniel was right." Jack was listening to Daniel. Now Jack is backing him up. 

"But their entire civilization was obviously wiped out by this bug... and all those inhabitants were changed." 

The video shows dozens of bugs coming out of one man. It's understood that Teal'c won't turn into one bug; he'll turn into many. 

They all get to work. Carter does calculations on the metamorphosis. Fraiser works on the DNA samples. Daniel and Harlow vivisect the bug. Hammond gets through to the president and informs Jack that they're in a race against Maybourne to find Teal'c. 

But they've a bigger problem. The symbiote is dying without its host. 

"Colonel," Fraiser says, "from the looks of it, we only have minutes." 

Options, he needs options. "Captain... is there anything your Tok'ra memories could —?" 

"I know, sir, I know. I can't just access them at will. Believe me, I've been trying." 

He sighs, wishes Daniel were here. "Oh, it's too bad you can't zap it with those paddles like they do on E.R. That guys that's.…What?" 

"It couldn't be that simple," Carter says. 

Fraiser shakes her head. "Defibbing would kill it." 

"But we've done our best to synthesize almost every environmental condition the Goa'uld larva has inside Teal'c's pouch —" 

Not making sense! "What?" 

"— nutrition, temperature —" Carter continues. 

"Except electrical current." Doc Fraiser's eyes light up. 

"And there is a very small constant electrical charge flowing through all of our bodies. The Goa'uld may need that." Carter beams at him. 

"Okay... so then all we need is a small enough power source," Jack says. 

"Yeah." 

Well this is a military base. They've got plenty of power sources. 

Soon the larva is responding to the small pulse of electrical energy, and it looks like he's saved the day. The phone rings, and Fraiser answers. "Yeah. Colonel." 

Jack turns and walks to the phone. Hammond or the president? 

"Hello... is this Colonel Jack O'Neill?" a young girl says. "It's about time. I only had to talk to about fifteen people to get to you. Do you know a big dude named Teal'c?" 

Teal'c! Holy shit, they found Teal'c! Is he all right? 

He asks and the girl responds, "Yeah, man, I would hurry if I was you." 

And hurry they did. Jack drives his team in his truck at break-neck speed and rushes into the building that the girl said Teal'c was sleeping in. 

He climbs up through the opening in the floor with a flashlight; spots an almost completely cocooned Teal'c on the floor. "Oh, my God." It's horrific. He hurries over to his friend. "Teal'c." 

Daniel is the next up the ladder. "I'll go get help." 

"Teal'c." Damn, not Teal'c. Not Teal'c. 

"O'Neill." Voice thin and raspy. 

"Yeah. It's me." 

"Kill me," he begs. It reminds him of Kawalski. 

"Uh... no." 

Teal'c writhes a bit. "The change cannot be stopped." 

He swallows. "I won't lie to ya... you don't look so great... but you're gonna make it. You're gonna be okay." Has to be. 

Jack begins removing the white, sticky, stringy substance that is covering Teal'c's face. They bring him out of the building on a stretcher. His face is quite pale and covered with lesions. 

"Why can't I go with you?" little Ally, who has befriended Teal'c and put in the call to Jack, asks. 

Daniel's voice is soft. "Sorry, you just... can't. These guys here are gonna take care of you and make sure you're okay." He indicates the Airmen. 

"Is Teal'c gonna be okay?" 

Daniel looks at Jack. "I hope so." Jack puts a hand on Teal'c's shoulder. Has to be. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

With the help of the symbiote and the drugs Harlow creates from the insect's venom, Teal'c starts looking better in no time.

Daniel is glad, but he knows the whole thing must have been a great ordeal for Teal'c. "It can't be easy knowing the thing you despise most about yourself is what saved your life." 

"Hey," Jack interrupts. "Even _I'm_ happy he's got the snake." 

Hammond enters and says that Maybourne gets to keep the live bug, but Harlow says he's going to arrange a little lab accident to make sure that doesn't happen. 

Daniel smiles at Jack, and surprisingly, Jack smiles back. 

"So, Teal'c, old buddy, old pal. What is the first thing you're going to do when you're all better and can get away from Doc Fraiser's clutches?" Jack rubs his hands together. 

"I owe Ally ‘one,' O'Neill." 

Daniel smiles at Jack's raised eyebrow. "Huh." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Three days later, Jack, Teal'c, and Daniel roamed the toy store in search of the perfect thank-you gift for Ally. Daniel watched Jack go through all the toys like it was the most important thing in the world – could see the father in Jack, hunting for the perfect birthday present, standing in line for the hottest Christmas gift.

He hid a smile. He really did love some things about Jack, even if he couldn't understand them. Tried to put that in The Box, but it wouldn't stay. 

Teal'c headed down the summer sports aisle, and Daniel quietly approached Jack, pretending he didn't notice the envious way Jack looked at the action figures. 

"You know," Jack said casually. "We didn't have stuff like this in my day. My GI Joes were called Army men and they were green and plastic and didn't move." 

"I'm sorry," Daniel said quietly. 

Jack shrugged. "Didn't spoil my fun." 

"No, I mean, Jack… I'm sorry for the way I acted, after Sha're." 

A sharp look, then Jack put the box down and played with the sticker. "To be expected." Controlled but not cold. 

"It was wrong of me, to shut you out. I just —" 

"Daniel —" 

"Just wanted to say I'm sorry." 

Jack sighed heavily. "Funny thing about that, Daniel. Sorry doesn't make anything better." He looked at Daniel with those brown eyes. "Does it?" 

Daniel shook his head. "Not really, I guess." 

"I figure we don't even have to say it." Jack reached out, brushed Daniel's bangs out of his eyes. "I figure we're almost beyond it." 

"Jack.…" He really, really wanted to hug Jack. Really wanted to go back to the easy way things were last year, before it all got so complicated. 

"Do you want to come home with me?" 

Yes. No. Christ, this was hard. "No. Jack… I… I…." 

"Let me take a stab at this, see how far I get?" Jack folded his arms. Daniel nodded. "Okay. The thing with you and me is, we're an unlikely pair, but the universe has a sick sense of humor. We're the best of friends. One thing led to another, and things got —" Here Jack had some trouble. 

"Heated," Daniel supplied. 

"Yes, very." Jack cleared his throat. "But at the end of the day, you love your wife and I love my career. So there's a line we don't cross. And we're back to being just good friends. That is, if that's enough ‘space' for you." 

All this was very mature of Jack. It made Daniel slightly wary – it was going too smoothly to really feel real, but, he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. "I'll always be your friend, Jack." 

They looked at each other. It would have been the most natural thing in the world to just lean in and press his mouth to Jack's. He'd been inside Jack. He'd slept beside the older man for so long he couldn't even get to sleep now without clutching a pillow to his chest. He'd grown accustomed to Jack's very breathing patterns. 

But this was best. Love was loyalty and he was going to be loyal to Sha're. 

Jack nodded. 

"O'Neill," Teal'c called. 

"Yeah, big guy?" Jack answered, eyes still on Daniel. 

"I believe I have found what we are looking for.…" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next day Daniel drives Teal'c to the abandoned building. They go inside, where Ally is playing with her water gun. She comes around a corner and runs into them.

"Teal'c! Hi!" she says happily. 

"Greetings, Ally." 

"You're okay." 

"Thanks to you, I am feeling much better." Teal'c bows. 

"Aw, man, it was no sweat. You look way better." She cocks her head to the side. "I guess you can't really tell me what happened... all that top-secret, James Bond stuff, right?" 

Daniel smiles. The exchange between the two is fascinating. 

"That is correct. To show my gratitude, I have brought you a new weapon. One with increased range and firepower." 

Teal'c offers her a new Super-Soaker water gun. 

She gasps. "Wicked! This is so cool! Have any time to play?" 

Play? Daniel doesn't play. Neither does Teal'c, he's quite sure. "Uh, actually we —" 

Daniel stops mid-sentence as a large stream of water blasts Teal'c in the chest. Ally giggles and runs away. Daniel wipes a little stray water out of his eye. 

"Guess we shouldn't have loaded it, huh?" he says to Teal'c. 

Teal'c pulls out his sunglasses and places them on his face. He then turns to Daniel. "How else could she defend herself?" 

Teal'c turns his water gun on Daniel and fires at _point-blank range_ into Daniel's chest. Daniel stands there, the cold water trickling down his soaked shirt. It reminded him so much of Jack with the sink's hose during their first… time…. 

Teal'c runs down the hall after Ally. 

"How else?" He wipes his eye again, then pulls his shirts out away from his chest and shakes it so get some of the water out. 

~*~


	34. TokRae, Prima et Dua

**34\. TokRae, Prima et Dua**

 

 

 

 

 

The next two weeks drove Jack up a wall. Literally. He repainted the house in a slightly lighter shade of cream. Worked on the car, even though it didn't really need a new battery or fluid change. Started designs for a new piece of furniture but that just brought up memories, so he stopped that.

On a particularly boring Thursday night, he went to Mrs. Welsh's The New Leaf bookstore, determined to get a good cookbook and make himself a nice meal. Just because he didn't have anyone to cook for anymore didn't mean he should starve. 

Had to pass by the lingual dictionaries and nearly tripped over Daniel. "But round the bend of a cucumber patch, whom should he meet but Farmer McGregor!" 

Daniel blinked up at him from his place on the floor, surrounded by various texts. "Oh. Jack. Oh." 

"Yes. Me, Jack. You, Jane." He held out his hand, waited patiently for Daniel to get with the program, and hauled the man up to his feet. "Doing a little late night research?" 

"Ah…. I was… reorganizing my shelves. I did my desk, and then got to the filing.… Decided to treat myself to some new dictionaries." 

Been a little bored without him, perhaps? Jack shook his head. "You know, Daniel, most guys treat themselves to a bigger TV." 

Daniel wrinkled his nose. "And I'm like most guys, how?" 

"Point." They stood there awkwardly. 

"What are you doing here?" Daniel asked, looking him up and down. Daniel always did that whenever he wore his leather jacket. 

"Cookbook." 

Daniel raised an eyebrow. 

"What? I can cook." 

A chuckle. "Yes, I know. I just didn't think you… you know… read up on recipes or anything." 

Jack sniffed. "I'm expanding my repertoire. Anyway, what do you need with dictionaries? Aren't you fluent in just about everything?" 

Daniel smiled. That sweet, shy smile. "Not quite." 

"Yeah. Yeah, well…." 

"Yeah.…" 

Jack wanted to say something. It was going well, he wanted to keep it going. "Got plans for dinner?" 

Daniel swallowed. "Dinner?" 

"Third meal of the day?" Jack started picking up the books, mostly to hide his embarrassment at such a lame and obvious attempt to get Daniel over. 

"Ah. No." 

Started shelving. "Well, I'm in the mood to experiment. Wanna join me?" 

"Ah… not sure that's… such a good idea.…" 

"It's dinner, Daniel, not an invitation to suck my cock," Jack hissed. Oops. Might have been a bit too aggressive there. Daniel started blushing. 

"Yeah. Um, I think I'm just gonna —" 

"Daniel." Jack dropped the charade. "Come over for dinner. Be a friend and come over for dinner." 

Daniel sighed and nodded. "Okay, all right." 

Good. Looked like he'd been dropping too much weight recently anyway…. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, he was a weak man. Time to just come out and say it – Daniel Jackson was a weak man. Followed Jack home from the bookstore like a stray mongrel, watched as Jack made Thai chicken with pineapples and raisins, and just being back in the house, the smells, and way things were laid out – familiar and comfortable – he was already slipping back into something like his old self.

It smelled funny though. "Did you… did you paint?" 

"Yeah." 

"The same color?" 

A pointed look. "It was butter cream before." 

Daniel smiled. "And now?" 

"Bridal cream." 

"Ah." Hid a snicker. 

"So, you reorganized all your files and shelves, huh?" 

Sighed. "Point." 

It would take a while, figuring out what to do with all that free time, he supposed. 

Jack listened to him prattle about old digs while they waited for the chicken to cook. Daniel stirred the sauce. They were both nervous, and clearly both wanted to this to pan out. Get back to being normal. Except the last ‘normal' they'd had involved sucking and fucking each other on every surface of the house. It would take a while to downshift back into chess games and chitchat. 

After what seemed like forever, dinner was ready. They ate at the table — the couch and floor not being anything like safe territory at the moment. 

"This is delicious," Daniel said. Some sauce dripped down his chin and he noticed the way Jack watched it. Shivered even. 

"Yeah, not bad, for foreign food. I'm best with the Italian dishes. Ma.…" 

Daniel nodded encouragement. "Tell me about her?" 

Jack swallowed. Apparently he'd said the right thing, because Jack latched on to that topic of conversation, and before Daniel knew what time it was, he'd heard a story about every Christmas and school play and old wives' tale that Jack could remember. 

"My mom… was… a very sweet woman," Daniel said, when Jack's end of the conversation finally lulled. "Very bright. Um… not a lot of hugs or home-cooked meals, but I knew I was loved." 

"Sara was a good mom. I'll bet Sha're will be, too." 

Daniel looked up. Didn't expect the sadness in Jack's gaze. 

Christ, he didn't realize how much he'd hurt Jack. How much Jack still wanted him. Loneliness. It was just loneliness. Jack would get over it, go to a bar, meet a pretty girl and… get over it. Right? 

He didn't know what to say. 

"I've missed you," Jack said to his plate. "And if the way you miss Sha're is anything like the way I've missed you just these past few weeks.…" Oh Christ, oh, Christ, Jack, don't be a hero. Don't be a knight in shining armor and make Daniel fall in love all over again. Don't look at him with those serious eyes. "I'll do everything I can to get her back and make the Asgard fix her." 

Lump. In his throat. Can't breathe. "I…." 

Jack took his hand up. "Daniel, you're my best —" 

He rocketed out of his chair. Took the plates to the kitchen. Couldn't do this. If he did this, he'd wind up in Jack's arms, in Jack's bed, and that would be the end of that, and he wasn't ready to let go of hope like that yet. 

Daniel cleared his throat. "I should go." 

Jack said nothing, just sat at the table and stared out into space. So Daniel gathered up his stuff and made for the door, then turned around, walked over to Jack and stopped. 

Leaned down, wrapped his arms around Jack's chest for a second and gave a quick squeeze. The smell – God, that smell – he wanted to bury his nose in Jack's shoulder and just stay there. Jack's warm hand on his arm, tugging, cheek-to-cheek now, he could feel the grain of stubble, the warm puffs of breath…. 

"Thanks for dinner, Jack," he ground out, pulled away, headed straight for the door. He needed to meditate. Needed Teal'c. 

If it hurt him like this, what was it doing to Jack? 

The next morning they all sat around the briefing table, and Daniel had to blink to make sure, but… Jack had gray hair at his temples. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Sam is telling them all about her… vision… involving Jolinar's memories. Naturally, Jack isn't really buying it.

"You don't think it was just a dream?" he asks, _again_. Daniel hated when Jack did that to him, questioned him like he was a child. He hates it when Jack does it now, to Sam. 

"No, sir. It was real. I could tell." Sam shakes her head. 

"You could tell," Hammond repeats. 

"Yes, sir. I don't know how, exactly, but I could tell." Frustration. Of course Sam is frustrated. 

"So we're supposed to buy this... ESP, or whatever it is?" Jack looks to Teal'c, because of course, Teal'c is the Yoda of the team and would have all the answers about the dark side. 

"O'Neill, when a Goa'uld infests its host, their minds intermingle, become as one. It is possible that portions of Jolinar of Malk'shur remain in Captain Carter's mind." 

There, see? Sam's not crazy. Sha're wasn't crazy. Jack should learn to have a little faith. 

Sam unlocks her fingers. "These Tok'ra were on the run. They may be in trouble. Now, if we want to find them again, we should find them before they move on. They may still be at these coordinates." 

How likely was it that she would just dream specific coordinates? He was all for going, but first they would have to convince Jack it was safe. 

"Now, you said their eyes glowed." Daniel looked at Sam carefully and said as sincerely as possible, "Are you really sure that these Tok'ra are what Jolinar said they are? I mean, good guys, for lack of a better word." 

"Yes." 

Jack shifts in his seat. "Yes? Just yes? Could you elaborate a little?" 

Sam sighs. "I'm sorry, Colonel. I know it's hard to understand. I don't really understand it myself, but I am sure. I… I just know." 

Teal'c nods. "According to Jaffa legend, the Tok'ra are the Goa'uld resistance. Their stated goal is the destruction of the System Lords and a change in the ways of the empire. They are hunted and despised by the Goa'uld." 

There, that should make Jack hap — 

"Yes!" Jack punches the air. "My kinda guys!" 

—Happy. 

"General Hammond," Sam says, "if I may? My vision is the only lead we have to go on. Shouldn't we at least check it out before they move on?" 

Hammond looks to Jack, of course, the favored son. "Colonel?" 

"General?" 

"I'm prepared to send SG-1 through to the coordinates Captain Carter saw in her vision, if you agree." 

Sam looks at Jack with the best Bambi eyes Daniel's ever seen. He'll have to remember that look the next time he wants more time on a dig. 

"Colonel, I know you're skeptical about these things, but I am confident that I am right on this one." 

That should be good enough for Jack. Jack always takes Sam's word. Daniel could say he was confident until he was blue in the face, but Jack won't budge until Sam or Teal'c backs him up. 

"Let's check it out," Jack says. 

Predictable. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Sam walks with her team down the corridor and tells the colonel she'll catch up. She goes to a secluded office and dials the familiar number.

"Dad, hi, it's me, Sam…. What do you mean, why am I calling? Dad? You just told me that you have cancer, you can't.… All right… okay, never mind. Listen, er, I'm about to go on a little trip…. Yes, it's for the Air Force…. It's not important where I'm going, Dad, what's important is that I may be gone a while and I just wanted to call and see how you're doing…. You're sure?" 

He hangs up on her, of course. She carefully puts down the phone and refuses to cry. Soldiers _don't_ cry. 

General Hammond walks up to her. "Your father?" 

She's startled. "Yes, sir." 

"How is Jacob?" 

General Hammond knows, of course. Dad told him right before he told her, _of course_."He claims he's okay; not that he'd tell me if he weren't. Did you know he actually got an apartment here in town?" 

"He wanted to be closer to his daughter during...." 

She will not cry. "During his last days. Sir, this is the first time I've left on a mission where I've felt like I might be leaving something behind. Like I might miss something important." 

Hammond smiles kindly. "Understandable. I'll put a temporary replacement on SG-1. You can stay here." 

"I wish I could, sir, but I don't think I'm replaceable on this one. The memories of Jolinar left in my mind could be invaluable on this mission and no-one else has them." 

"True, but your father —" 

"Sir, it's okay; he doesn't want me around anyway." And it hurts to say it, but there it is. 

"Sam," Hammond says, and the use of her first name startles her somewhat. "I've known Jacob a long time. That's not true." 

"Sir, he's always too concerned about appearing the strong soldier. The last thing he would want is for me to see him in a hospital bed losing a battle…. I should get going, sir, I don't wanna hold things up." 

She starts to leave. "Captain! You're more like your father than you'd like to admit." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

They go through the gate to a desert planet and Daniel knows instinctively it's not anything like Abydos. Different sand, different air. There is nothing for miles but a sense of emptiness.

"There is no evidence of footprints or tracks of any kind. If the Tok'ra were here they have not been near the gate in many days," Teal'c says. 

"Ah, where's that yellow brick road when you need it, eh Dorothy?" Jack says this to Sam. He's flirting again, which makes Daniel grit his teeth, but neither of them seem to know it, that's what's so frustrating. They don't even _see_ it, so does it even count? 

"There's some sort of dunes over there," Sam says with a shrug. 

Jack nods. "Dunes it is." 

They walk towards the dunes. Daniel wonders how long it will take Jack to make a joke about sandworms and spice. But instead, the older man just goes over and looks at the broken MALP. 

"Worthless. No one's tread here in a while," he says. Ah, tracker-mode. Just how much secret-spy-squirrel training had Jack had? 

Teal'c walks over. "The Tok'ra are known for their ability to mask their trails. They are, as you say, stealthy in their actions." 

And then it happens. Of course then it happens, if that wasn't a cue, Daniel's never heard one before. The Tok'ra surround them, apparently popping out of the ground. 

"Yeah, stealthy would be a good word, Teal'c," he says, grimacing. 

Jack raises his gun and looks to Sam. "Good guys or bad guys?" 

The… um… leader? The leader steps forward. "We mean you no harm. But I warn you, if you make any aggressive moves, we will fire on you." 

"Same here," Jack says pleasantly, and really, Daniel has to wonder at him sometimes. 

The leader laughs. "Well, I think we have the advantage. There are more of us." 

Jack looks around. But Daniel knows by now, he's already figured out exactly how many, their heights and weights, and probably what they're packing. "That is true." 

A… well, Daniel has to admit it… a rather handsome young man speaks. "This one is a Jaffa. Apophis sect." 

Teal'c puffs out his chest. "I am no longer in the service of Apophis." 

"Who then are you in service to?" the handsome one asks. 

"I am allied with these, the Tau'ri, in battle against Apophis." 

Daniel pipes up. "And all other Goa'uld." 

Sam stiffens. "Be careful, Daniel." 

Okay, but… "Why?" 

"Because they _are_ Goa'uld." 

The leader's eyes glow. "Do not call us that. We are not Goa'uld!" 

That has Jack's spine snapped straight as a rod. The guns are up, everyone pointing at each other, and Daniel can barely work up adrenaline, because this is getting to be old hat. 

A standoff. Sigh. 

"You know, in some galaxies, this is called loitering. How long do ya think we can keep it up?" Christ, Jack can be such a smartass. 

"Martouf," Sam blurts out to the handsome man. 

A beat. Two. "I do not know this woman," Martouf says. 

Sam nods. "But I'm right, aren't I? That's your name, Martouf." 

Martouf nods. 

Daniel glances at Jack, who looks truly surprised. Ah, not so quick to discount Sam's ESP-thingy… whatever… now, huh? 

"It is. How do you know me?" 

"I don't. But I knew someone who did. His name was Jolinar of Malk'shur." 

This gets an immediate reaction from the Goa'uld. "Where is Jolinar?" the leader asks urgently. 

Sam pauses, and Daniel can understand. How do you just come out with this kind of news? "He died saving my life." 

Martouf looks a little green. Daniel hopes that information didn't just get them killed. "That's why we're here, to seek out the Tok'ra," he says. 

Jack smiles with… menace. "Assuming of course you _are_ the Tok'ra." 

And the leader smiles back. "And if we're not?" 

The older man sighs. "Well, I guess we all start shooting, there's blood, death, hard feelings... it'd suck." God he loves Jack. Stupid, stupid Jack. 

"And if we are this thing you call Tok'ra?" Martouf asks. 

"If you are indeed the Tok'ra of Jaffa legend, we should form an alliance," Teal'c replies. 

"I learned a lot from Jolinar." Sam shifts a bit. "Enough to know that we could be good friends. And frankly, enough to know that you are the Tok'ra." 

Martouf waits a moment. "I believe this one speaks the truth. Perhaps we should... just listen to what they have to say?" 

The Tok'ra lower their weapons. Jack motions SG-1 to lower their weapons. Not that Daniel really carried weapons, nine times out of ten. He left that to Jack. 

Who now smiles and rubs imaginary dust from his hands. "Well that's better, isn't it? So, take me to your leader." 

"I will take you to whom you seek. But there is one condition. You must leave your weapons with us." 

Ha. Ha ha. Jack's gonna go for that. 

"Ah, no." That smartass smile is back. 

"They won't hurt us, Colonel," Sam insists. 

"They're _Goa'ulds_ , Carter." 

"They won't hurt us." 

"And you, what, _feel_ this?" Okay. He understands how much Jack is just hating this right now, but he wishes the older man wouldn't talk to Sam that way. 

Luckily, she can hold her own. "No, I can remember." 

"O'Neill, if they are the Tok'ra, we are in no danger." 

Sighs. Jack needs options. That's where Daniel comes in. But carefully, because lately he's been on Jack's shit-list. "If you're asking for opinions, I vote we take the chance." 

Jack's shoulders relax ever so slightly. "Okay. But I want it understood that we're doing this in the spirit of future relations. I expect us to be treated as such." 

SG-1 put their weapons down. 

Martouf motions them closer. "Please, come closer together." 

Jack is very suspicious. "Why?" 

"Jack," he says. 

"It's okay, Colonel." 

Jack glares at Sam, and Daniel begins to wonder if anyone isn't on Jack's shit-list at this point. "Oh, it is?" 

Transport rings take them to subterranean crystal caves, which crackle alarmingly. Sam recognizes the caves from her vision, and Teal'c confirms that Apophis was looking for the Tok'ra tunnels for years. 

Jack clearly doesn't like the confined space, but at the moment is more concerned with their hosts. "Carter, what's the story with this Martouf?" 

Daniel shakes his head. Jack just can't change his nature. 

"I'm not sure. I get the feeling I know almost all of these people, but my memories of Martouf are the strongest. It's like I have some weird bond with him." 

Martouf ushers them into a room. "Please, come this way." 

Daniel sighs and begins to get into mediator-mode. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

George gets the call and rushes to the hospital. He enters Jacob's room and has to hold back his gasp. His old friend… lying there on the bed, looking for all the world like death warmed over. Tubes up his nose. IVs in his arms. God, it reminds him of his wife.…

"George." Weak, but happy. 

"Jacob. Are you all right?" And he knows it's a stupid question…. 

"I've been better." 

"I was under the impression that the cancer hadn't gone this far." George _hates_ cancer. Hated it when it took his wife, hates it now. 

"So was I. They cleaned out all the lymph nodes, the problem is, apparently, one squadron of those little buggers got themselves reassigned to my liver." 

Oh God. What can he do? "Let me make a call, get Captain Carter recalled." 

"No, there's no need." 

Stubborn, stubborn, always was. That's one thing he loved about Jacob, usually. "Jacob, she should be here." 

The man coughed. "Why? Let me tell you something George, my little girl grew up seeing Daddy go off to God knows where to fight God knows who and I always came home alive and well. Now I'm going to let her sit here and watch me lose a war? To some little runts so small I can't even see 'em?" 

He had to smile. "That's exactly what she thought you'd say. How about doing us all a favor, Jake. Cut the brave soldier routine." He knows he's stirring up old shit, but this is too important. "It's your daughter we're talking about here. She should have a chance to be here to see you through this." So should he, but he gave up that right years ago, when he got married. 

"I got a feeling she's on a pretty important mission right now. Am I right?" Those eyes. Jake knows. 

"Well, yes, but there are others." 

"Then do me a favor and honor my wishes. Leave her there." 

Damn him. "This is ridiculous." 

Now Jacob turns on the works. "There is one thing you could do for me, George." 

Leans over, takes his hand. "Anything." 

"Tell me what my little girl's doing?" 

A punch to the gut. "Except that. You know it's classified." 

Wry smile. "George, they're telling me I don't have much time left. Who am I gonna tell? _God_?" 

He. Will. Not. Cry. "I'm sorry, Jake." Not for the first time, he hates the Air Force. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack doesn't trust these guys as far as he can throw them. Especially Cordesh, or whatever their host's name is. He's got something coming off him in waves that makes Jack's trigger finger itchy.

Sits through the formalities, meets Garshaw of Belote – and why do these people's names all sound like brands of deli foods? Lets them in on the big secret – that Jack and Daniel were the ones that took out Ra; that almost took out Apophis. In return, they finally reveal themselves as Tok'ra. 

Sam explains how she became host to Jolinar, yadda, yadda, and oh look, Martouf's taking that hard. He files that away under potentially useful information. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jake is flat-lining. George watches the frenzied activity, holds his breath until they finally have the man back with a heartbeat.

George pulls the doctor over. "May I ask, how long does he have?" 

"Can't say with a cancer like this. Could be five days or five minutes. Sorry. If there's any family for you to contact, I recommend you get them here ASAP." 

Looks over on the bed, sees the man that saved his life, the man that he.… George makes a decision. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Things in the Tok'ra chambers are beginning to heat up. Daniel doesn't know why he's surprised. It all starts when Garshaw wonders if Sam didn't kill Jolinar because she wasn't a voluntary host.

Cordesh won't believe them when they insist it didn't go down like that. "And why should we trust you?" 

Which has Jack's hackles up faster than anything. "You know something? I've been asking myself the same damn question." Yes, of course. Questioning Daniel is just good sense; questioning Sam is just offensive. "Why should we trust you? You are, after all, Goa'ulds." 

Jesus. "Jack...!" 

"Ah! Don't!" Jack turns on him. "We've done nothing but get interrogated here. Now, are we prisoners? And are you Goa'ulds?" 

God, he's got to stop saying that! "J —" 

"N —" 

"You are not and I have told you we are not Goa'uld!" Garshaw insists. 

Jack flounders. "I didn't.... Why do you talk like that? And what's with the glowing eyes? Huh? Might it have something to do with a little reptilian activity _in your heads_? 

Oh they are so going to get screwed. 

"We have symbiotic creatures within us, yes." 

"Well then!" Jack throws up his hands. 

Time to smooth this over. "Well then, you can see how we might think you would be a danger to humans. You take humans as hosts." 

Garshaw softens somewhat. "Goa'uld take hosts. Tok'ra do not. Ours wish to be so." 

Ah, says who? 

"We have a truly symbiotic relationship," Martouf chimes in. 

"No offence, but why would any human volunteer to be a host for a Goa'uld?" he asks. 

And then Garshaw lowers her head and her voice changes. It freaks Daniel out. "Perhaps I can... I can help you? I am Yosuf. I am Garshaw's host. I speak freely without restraint or censor. All of us who serve as hosts volunteer to do so freely." 

God… just, too weird. Okay, focus. "Okay, well, maybe you can answer my question then. Why would any human volunteer for... for that?" 

Do not think of Sha're. Focus. 

"Well, with the blending I gain all of Garshaw's knowledge, her wisdom… more than any human could ever attain. And my lifespan is twice what it would be without the blending. And for all this, all I have to do is share my physical body." 

Jack is so not impressed. "So you've kind of got a little Faustian deal going here, selling your soul for immortality." 

Oh, Jack, be careful, please. 

"What you understand as soul remains intact." 

Fascinating. He's got to know more. "So this symbiotic relationship is what makes the Tok'ra different from the Goa'uld?" 

"Yes." She is calmer, very happy to share with Daniel. Which is good, he can work with this. 

Until Teal'c weighs in. "It is also this that has thwarted the Tok'ra's efforts against the Goa'uld." 

"Your Jaffa friend is correct. If you'd like to come with me, I will show you what he means." 

She walks them down a long tunnel where they meet Selmak, and his host, an old woman named Saroosh, whom they learn is about to die. She lies on a slab that must pass for a bed, looking pretty worse for the wear. 

"How old is she?" Daniel asks kindly. 

"She will be two-hundred-and-three of your years in a few of your days." 

He frowns. "I'm sorry, I was under the impression that Goa'uld lived much longer than two-hundred years." 

Yosuf nods. "Goa'uld do, the Tok'ra don't." 

Sam interrupts. "That's because you don't use the sarcophagus, right?" The very _word_ has Daniel cringing. 

"That's correct." Martouf stands… very close to Sam. "We believe to do so would drain the good from our hearts." 

Yeah, understatement. "I can vouch for that." 

He shoots a look at Jack. 

"That's why our numbers don't grow large enough to defeat the massive forces aligned with System Lords." Martouf is staring at Sam. 

She catches on fast. "Zero or negative population growth. Since you won't take new hosts by force, most of the time the Goa'uld dies with the host." 

Yosuf steps closer to Saroosh. "And this is what is about to happen to Selmak." 

"Unless one of you wishes to volunteer to serve as a host?" Martouf politely asks. 

Jack takes a step back. "I'm gonna pass on that." 

Oh yeah. "Yes, although it does sound very fascinating, I think it's a little too long term for me." 

They all look at Sam, who looks… like she's going to lose her lunch. "I'm sorry, I've already been through that." She seems really upset. Like she's about to cry or something. The expresses that pass over her face – Daniel's never seen that look on her before. 

She leaves Saroosh's room and they follow her. 

At a poolside, Daniel watches as Martouf touches her on the shoulder. She gasps. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." 

Anyone else picking up on the vibes between these too, Daniel wonders? Jack seems oblivious. Daniel knows Jack is almost never oblivious, but is oddly relieved that Jack doesn't seem to care. 

"We didn't mean to upset you with the suggestion of becoming a host," Yosuf says. 

Jack nods. "Well as long as you take no for an answer." 

Martouf smiles. "Be assured that we have never forced a human to become a host. It goes against all that we believe in." 

See, they should talk to Daniel and not Jack. Anyone who talks to Jack for very long just gets themselves in deeper…. 

"Yeah, well, you know Captain Carter didn't exactly invite Jolinar in." 

Sam protests, "Yes, sir, but I believe he was sincere about wanting to leave me as soon as he found another host." 

" _If_ he found one." 

"I'm curious," Yosuf says. "If you're not interested in becoming a host, then why did you seek us out?" 

Ah, back to the basics. Daniel says, "To form an alliance." 

Doesn't go over like he'd planned. "Yes, so you've said, but it's apparent that the thought of an alliance disgusts you." 

Breakdown in communication, Daniel thinks. "Wait a minute, you think by 'form an alliance' we mean we want to become hosts?" 

"Well what other sort of an alliance could a non-blended human and a Tok'ra want to have?" Yosuf asks, frowning. 

Jack seems to relax a bit. Begins to see the misunderstanding. "Well, we do have a common enemy; how about a friendship?" 

"We could share information," Sam says. 

"We can engage in battles, side by side," Teal'c offers. 

Takes all of about two seconds for Garshaw to retake control and say, "I do not believe you could be of any service to us. You are neither strong enough, nor advanced enough." 

There they go again.… 

"We're not?" Jack asks tightly. 

Even Teal'c bristles at this. "You are incorrect. It was these who destroyed two Goa'uld motherships." 

Now Garshaw gets angry. "That was you? We had operatives who died on board those vessels!" 

"Oh boy," Daniel mutters. 

"We were only defending our planet," Sam says quickly. 

And now back to Yosuf. Very confusing, all this switching around. "We didn't know that they had traveled to the Tau'ri. This information, it explains a lot. At least now we know how and why our operatives died, and for that we are truly grateful." 

Jack seems to like Yosuf a lot better, obviously. "So maybe we can be of service." 

"Perhaps you are correct. I will try to convince the Council of Tok'ra to meet with you." She turns to leave. 

"Ah, excuse me?" Jack breaks in. "Are we prisoners here?" And Daniel can guess just how much Jack enjoys that word. 

"Well, ah, until we decide what level of information to entrust to you, um, we cannot allow you to roam this facility freely. I'm sorry," she says. 

He shares a look with Jack, willing the older man to stay calm, and luckily, he does. 

"Would you like to take a walk on the surface?" Martouf says to Sam. 

"What?" Jack asks. 

Daniel is doing his best to look like he doesn't care, but he does. 

"Why?" Sam wonders. 

"I would like to hear more of Jolinar of Malk'shur," Martouf says shyly. 

"Okay." 

Jack clears his throat, stopping her in her tracks. "Well, yeah, sure." Gets up to go with them. 

Daniel's pretty sure that invitation was for one. 

"I'm only inviting Captain Carter. What we have to discuss is… private. I hope you understand." 

Oh boy. 

"Actually, no, I don't." 

Sam sighs. "Colonel, I… I think I should go with him. I think I need to go with him. There're a lot of questions he could answer about Jolinar." 

"I assure you, sir, she will be very safe with me." 

"Colonel, I need to do this, please." Bambi eyes again, and Daniel resents it a bit, but on the other hand, wants Sam to go, and learn what she can. Mostly he just wants Sam to go so he can stop thinking about Jack and Sam. 

"Okay son," Jack says sternly, "but I want you to have her back by eleven o'clock. You understand?" 

God, he's over-reacting. Jack's just thinking about her like one of his kids. Good. Good.… 

He's almost sorry he has to break up their little sunset moment to inform Sam that Jack thought she might want to be at the Tok'ra Council meeting. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Okay. The crystal caves? They freak him out. Charlie used to watch Saturday morning cartoons about this kind of crap. And normally Jack would be kinda stoked about it, because it is cool, but see, they are God knows how deep under the ground on an alien planet and being held pretty much against their will, because that's just so _rare_ , and as far as Jack's concerned, the situation kinda outweighs the cool interior design.

Carter is going on and on about the crystals and how they grow the tunnels, blah blah blah, as they make their way to the Council, when Jack notices Cordesh go off by himself. 

The man selects a box from his collection of belongings, and when he opens it Jack sees it contains a communication orb. 

"May I help you?" Cordesh asks. They've got good hearing, the bastards. 

"No, thanks, I was just looking around." Light. Easy. 

"This is not the way to the new Council chambers." 

No shit, Sherlock. "Oh! Well, I'm sorry." 

Cordesh smiles. "But I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have. These are my private quarters." 

"Not very private," Jack observes. 

"The Tok'ra hold no secrets from each other. There is no need for doors or partitions. Can I show you back to your group?" 

He really, really does not like this guy. "Uh, no, thanks. I can find my own way back." 

Gets back to the herd and now Daniel's going on about the crystals, damned adorable geek that he is. His kids and their toys. 

Eventually they get to the chambers and meet the Grand Council of the Tok'ra. "Hiya folks, nice to meetcha," he says. 

"Uh, we're very grateful. We're representatives of a planet called Earth," Daniel translates into polite for him. 

Teal'c bows. "It is an honor." 

They get down to business and the alliance is denied on the grounds that the Tok'ra don't think the Tau'ri are capable of not spilling their little inferior guts. 

In the middle of the debate, another Tok'ra enters the chamber and whispers to Garshaw. 

"Bring them in!" she cries. "What are your people planning?" 

What the hell? "Beg your pardon?" 

"The Chaapa-ai just activated, and brought forth these!" Garshaw yells. 

SG-3 are led in, looking sheepish. 

"Colonel Makepeace? What are you doing here?" Jack asks. 

"General Hammond sent us to extract Captain Carter," the man reports. 

"Why?" Carter asks warily. 

"I'm afraid it's your father, Captain. He's in the hospital in a serious condition." 

Carter never once said anything about it, but it doesn't seem to shock her. Later, they will work it out later. First things first, one of his kids needs to go home, fast. "You have to let her go home." 

"I'm sorry; I cannot do that," Garshaw says. 

Impatient. "Why not?" 

"I'm afraid we have made our decision. We have decided not to accept your request for an alliance." 

Cordesh follows up with, "Therefore you shall be our guests until such time as we decide to move to another planet." 

He wishes to God he'd never let Daniel talk him into giving up their weapons. "What?" 

Garshaw nods her regal damned head. "I'm sure you understand with your knowledge of this planet, you have become a security risk. We cannot allow you to leave until we have moved somewhere else that you do not know about." 

Daniel tries his best. "Well surely as Tok'ra you're more compassionate than that? Captain Carter's father is dying; I mean, at least let her go." 

How does Daniel know the man's dying? Makepeace said serious condition, not dying. Did Carter tell him Jacob was dying? And Daniel didn't think to tell him this? 

Cordesh shakes his head. "She is the highest risk of all. She contains the memory of Jolinar of Malk'shur." 

Teal'c steps up to the bat. "We are not the only ones who have knowledge of this planet. Those we left behind on the Tau'ri also possess this knowledge." 

Yes, good point. "As evidenced by our friends here." He nods to SG-3. 

Garshaw nods. "It is our wish that your lack of return will convince them that we are Goa'uld and not Tok'ra." 

Daniel stiffens. "You want them to think that we're dead." 

Jack gives him a look. They know better. They don't leave their people behind. "Well that kinda sucks." For the Tok'ra. 

"I'm sorry. We will try to make you as comfortable as possible," Garshaw says. 

Bite me, Jack thinks. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Sam sits down and doesn't really move much. Daniel sympathizes. At least the caves aren't cold. He has no idea how the Tok'ra heat them, but at least it's, well, comfortable isn't the right word.

Teal'c just stands guard, but Jack is pacing. Daniel is desperate to give him alternatives. They talk, decide to ask for Garshaw again. 

"You wish to see me?" she asks. 

"Daniel." Jack waves his hand. 

"Garshaw, could you at least tell us why you've turned down our request for an alliance?" 

"We have decided that your limited resources do not offer us enough of a reward to risk the high security breach that your knowledge of us will cause." 

"That's it?" Jack is unimpressed. 

Daniel tries to regain some ground by saying, "Well, at least allow us some time to try to find some technology, some skill, something that you don't have." 

She smiles genuinely. "I'm sorry, I don't believe it exists." 

"So we _are_ prisoners." Jack continues pacing. "You've looking like Goa'uld to me." 

It stings Garshaw, Daniel can tell. 

"We are doing this for your protection as well as ours. Knowledge of our whereabouts makes you and your world a priority target for the Goa'uld System Lords." 

"We're already a priority target," Jack spits out. 

"They previously dispatched two motherships to destroy us," Teal'c says. 

"There's another reason, isn't there? Something else bothers you about us," Sam says. 

"That is correct. None of you have volunteered to be a host to one of us who is dying! Now if you're so disgusted with the very thought of blending, how can we be associated with one another? I mean it is obvious that you have distaste for our very being." 

Yeah, kinda. Wait, no. Daniel can be a bigger man that that. Of course, he'd rot before he'd take a snake in the head but…. He looks over at Jack, twitchy and irritated… looks at Sam, desperate to see her dad. Yeah, maybe he might take a snake, if there was no choice. But he wasn't ready to play that card yet. 

"No, it is simply a lack of understanding. We have no hatred for you at all," he says. 

"Then be a host to Selmak." 

That went so well in his head, he says to himself. "Well I wish I could say I was okay with that, but —" 

"The very thought sickens you. There is nothing more to be said. There will be no alliance. You will remain here until we say otherwise." She walks off, and Jack throws up his hands. 

Sam shifts. "Colonel Makepeace? Did anyone tell you how far along my father is?" 

"No," the man answers. "I was only told to get you back as soon as possible." 

Sam looks close to tears. "He doesn't even know why I'm not there for him. He thinks I'm off somewhere working on some damn satellite dish or something." 

Jack goes over to her. "We're gonna get you back there, Carter. The good news is, there's eight of us now." 

Daniel blinks. "That's good news?" 

"Yes. More manpower." Jack says this like it should be obvious. 

Teal'c raises an eyebrow. "Is this another one of your strange jokes, O'Neill?" 

"Ah, no?" 

"It would be impossible. There is only one way out, via the rings. We would then have to elude hundreds of Tok'ra," Teal'c says. 

"I, for one, don't want to hurt any of them," Sam says. 

Jack is visibly nonplussed. "Look, I'm not too thrilled about hurting anyone either. But keep in mind these people wanna make you a host, and as I recall you said that whole 'Jolinar Goa'uld in the head' deal was one of the worst things that ever happened to you!" 

"That's before I understood it better. If I wasn't fighting her and I knew what it meant for Jolinar to be a Tok'ra, it might have been – I don't know – enlightening." Suddenly Sam jumps up. "I need to see Garshaw!" she calls to the guards. 

Okay, he doesn't like where this is going. "What?" Daniel says to her. 

"What is the one thing that they need the most?" Sam asks. 

"Well, hosts, which we can't give them." He shrugs. 

Garshaw enters, Martouf behind her. 

"What is it?" 

"You said that the symbiote can cure most problems in a human?" Sam asks brightly. 

"Yes." 

"Even cancer?" 

Oh shit. 

"What is cancer?" Martouf asks. 

"It's a disease in humans where the cells grow out of control, you get tumors," Daniel explains. 

Garshaw nods. "Oh yes, it's a common ailment amongst your species. We cure it all the time, it's no problem." 

Now Sam looks to Jack and Daniel is so, so grateful it's not his job to make calls like this. 

"Colonel, I think we should at least try to offer it to my Dad?" 

Jack weighs this very carefully. Now, Daniel knows him. He knows that Jack doesn't like the idea of Jacob getting a symbiote one bit, but if it affords someone getting back to the SGC for more weapons and manpower…. 

"We might have a host for you," Jack says shrewdly. 

"You have a host for Selmak?" Garshaw asks. 

"Yes. My father. He's got cancer and if Selmak can save his life I think he'd be willing to try it." Sam wrings her hands. 

"But you have to let us go back," Jack demands. 

Garshaw considers for a while. "I will let two of you go. But the rest will remain to ensure that you will return." 

Jack looks at Daniel. Yeah. Yeah, he knows. He and Teal'c will stay behind. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Colonel O'Neill and Captain Carter debate with him before going to get her father. George watches her plead with Jacob, watches him take in the news about the Stargate, and in the end, he agrees. They take him to Cheyenne Mountain, where George delights in Jake's wonderment, hopes it explains some of why they haven't kept in touch.

Soon the colonel and Sam and Jacob are on their way back to the Tok'ra planet. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack has to laugh when Jacob expresses the sentiment that other planets look a hell of a lot like Earth.

No time for dallying, Jack ushers them back toward the Tok'ra transport rings, stalks through the tunnels at as quick a pace as Jacob and can keep up, and taps Makepeace on the shoulder. 

Makepeace informs him that apparently they're free. The base just received word that Goa'uld motherships are on their way. 

Of course. 

Because Jack can't turn his back for five seconds without having to rescue Daniel from something or other. There are days when he wishes Daniel just could have gotten a job with _National Geographic_. But he'd probably just get eaten by a lion or something. 

"Why are you still here?" he asks Makepeace. 

"Well, we wanna be allies, right, so we're lending a hand with the evacuation," The man says. Smells suspiciously like Daniel's doing. 

Jack rounds up the Airmen and starts organizing the evacuation. He turns to Carter and says, "Call if you need me." And he means it. Hopes to God this blending process is all it's cracked up to be…. She and Jacob go off with Martouf… Lantesh… whatever he's calling himself these days. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They hightail it down a hallway. "So fill me in. How'd the System Lords find them?"

"That is unknown," Teal'c says. 

Jack smells a rat. "Are we talking about a spy here, or what?" 

Daniel struggles to keep up with him. "Well, if that's the case, moving to another planet's not gonna do them much good." 

It clicks. "Teal'c, you know those little tele-ball things?" 

"The long-range visual communications device." 

"Right. How small do they make those?" 

"I have seen them small enough to fit in the palm of your hand." 

Yep, ladies and gentlemen, they have a winner! 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Sam watches as her father gets to know Saroosh and Selmak. He learns that if he blends, he'll get all the emotions – and the dark, Goa'uld memories – of his symbiote, and the former host.

"Dad, you don't have to do this." 

"Yes I do. My only other choice is death, and that's not acceptable. Look, don't worry, it's not just hearing all that stuff that made me lose my stomach, it's the chemo. And the trip through that damn Stargate thing." 

Selmak asks him if he is a good man, and he answers bluntly that given the circumstances, it hardly matters. The symbiote decides it likes him, and Sam watches as Saroosh opens her mouth and the creature flies into her father. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Ah, chaos. Comes once every bug-out. Well, at least he's not rotting in some cell.

Jack, in his usual style, walks straight up to Garshaw and blurts out, "I think you might have a spy in your ranks. I don't wanna point fingers, but I'd keep my eye on Cordesh." 

They tell Garshaw of the long-range visual communications device and she reacts immediately, running off in search of Cordesh. 

"Better stay here," Jack says sternly, running right behind her. 

"We'll stay here," he hears Daniel flippantly tell Teal'c. 

They find Cordesh in one of the shrinking tunnels. The man goes on and on about how he doesn't deserve to remain among the Tok'ra. Then he screams as he's squashed by one of the vanishing tunnels…. 

Jack winces. "Ouch." 

"Cordesh must be guilty of something or he would not have allowed himself to be buried," Garshaw says. 

Not buying the allowing part. "What, he had a choice?" 

"I must thank you," she says suddenly. "You may have saved the Tok'ra a great many losses." 

Ah… well… yeah, okay… "You're welcome." 

"But, you still have nothing to offer us." 

Jesus freaking Christ. "What?" 

And then Daniel's there, offering choices. Jack really underestimates him sometimes. 

"Well, actually, I think we do." 

"Do we?" Jack looks at Daniel and wonders if he's finally been hit in the head one time too many? 

"Well, the one thing you need the most we can provide. Hosts." 

That would be a yes. "Daniel...?" 

Pressed lips, folded hand. "Well, think about it, if it works for Sam's father, then there must be other people in similar situations." 

Yeah, okay. "It's worth exploring." He wants off this planet! 

"It is." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

With the blending complete, Selmak says goodbye to a dying Saroosh through her dad.

Martouf looks grim. "He's very sick. And Selmak is weak. She may not have the strength to heal him." 

"Well, is there anything we can do to help?" 

"Nothing. Only time will tell." 

Another Tok'ra dashes in. "Our scouts have spotted the Goa'uld ships dropping from hyperspace. They will start attacking from the air and through the gate within hours. Garshaw orders that we must destroy the complex." 

Sam bolts up. "We need time! Can we move him?" 

Martouf shakes his head. "If we do so it will kill them." 

Sam strokes her father's brow and makes a decision. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

In the corridor, Jack sees a woman carrying Cordesh's box.

"'Scuse me," he says, grabbing her arm. 

"What are you doing?" Yosuf demands indignantly. 

"I'll apologize if I'm wrong." He opens the box - it contains an orb! "Cordesh had one of these." 

Yosuf narrows her eyes. "So there are two spies." 

But Jack's mind is racing faster, he's going on pure instinct now. "Or not. Cordesh said he wasn't who he appeared to be." 

Teal'c catches on. "Goa'uld can jump hosts to hide, much as Jolinar of Malk'shur." 

"The plague that is the Tok'ra will soon be wiped out!" Cordesh says in the female host. 

"I am sickened to think I once called you my friend, Cordesh, but I want you to know - the System Lords will fall, but you won't be alive to see it," Garshaw vows. She turns to her people. "Attempt to remove Cordesh from the host without harming her. Then put this traitor in one of the vanishing tunnels." 

She kisses Jack on both his cheeks, which surprises him. "I believe I shall be proud to call you friend." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They all meet up with Carter and Jacob… but there's some argument over whether to take Selmak with the Tok'ra, or bring him back to the SGC, and Martouf insists he can't be moved at all.

"We can't just leave him here!" Carter says. 

Of course not, Jack thinks. They don't leave people behind. 

"I will remain with him," Martouf speaks up. "If I can get him out, I will. If not, I will allow the vanishing tunnels to consume us before the Goa'uld get here." 

"I cannot allow you to die in this way. We must leave now!" Garshaw says. 

"I'll stay." 

Carter's offering that. Jesus…. 

"You are even more vulnerable since you contain the memories of Jolinar! I cannot allow you to stay. We must go now!" Garshaw insists. 

He hates saying this, it goes against everything but — "She's right, Captain. We have to go." 

"With respect, no, sir. I am not leaving him here." God, he's got so much… well, admiration for her.… She's disobeying him, just like he knew she would. Just like he _hoped_ she would. He's so glad that someday, he'll pass on his command to someone like her. 

"Captain Carter and I will both remain. I will assure that we will not be taken by the Goa'uld." Martouf seems on the level. 

"Please, Colonel. I need to be here." 

He doesn't want to let her down. "…Right. Daniel? Teal'c? Let's go." 

They leave quickly and emerge on the planet's surface. If possible, the sun feels hotter and the sand dryer. 

"We can take you to our planet and then send you to your new home from there," Daniel tells Yosuf. 

Jack nods. "Daniel, start dialing home." 

The man stops, stares at him. "Well. shouldn't we wait for Carter?" 

Get out of his head. Since when does Daniel call Sam, Carter? It won't work. He's made up his mind. 

"O'Neill!" Teal'c points to where gliders are approaching. 

"Dial!" He'll come back for them. He'll come back…. Has to get Daniel home…. 

The younger man runs over the dunes and starts dialing. The gliders fire, blasts falling all around them. They run and jump through the Stargate just before getting obliterated. 

Klaxons, swirling lights, machine guns aimed at them – yep, home sweet home. Jack picks them up, dusts them off and they start down the ramp, all business. 

"Garshaw, what will Martouf do if the Goa'uld get too close?" Daniel asks. Jack shoots him a look and can see he's worried about Sam. To be honest, so is Jack. 

"I regret that at the risk of capture, Martouf will destroy the underground compound, with himself and all your people with it." 

Jesus Christ, Carter… He feels sick.… 

A few tense minutes later, Jack studiously not holding his breath or twitching, and they receive her GDO code. Sam, Jacob, and Martouf jump through the gate, along with a nice blast of glider fire. 

Jacob stands and says in that funny Goa'uld voice, "I must give you thanks. You have saved my life and that of my new host. We thank you." 

"Yes. Can we talk to your host?" George says impatiently. 

Jacob clears his throat. "So when the little fella inside me is talking, do I sound like she does?" He points to Garshaw. 

They all breathe a sigh of relief. 

"That's strange. I can feel myself talking, but it's not me saying the words. You know?" Jacob says. 

Jack smiles. "Don't know. Take your word for it." 

"How do you feel?" Daniel asks. 

"Well, considering I got one of those things inside me, pretty damn good!" He turns to Hammond right away, and Jack picks up on something… there's something there, but he can't put his finger on it.… "Listen, George, because of this blending thing, I already know everything there is to know about the Tok'ra. You made the right call." 

George nods. "I hope so." 

"I would be proud to serve as liaison between Earth and these people." 

That makes Carter happy. And George very happy. "Good. Well on that note, perhaps you can ask them to come with me to do a little debriefing." 

But the good old Tok'ra have to get going. They are impressed with the computer's dialing device and Garshaw puts in the coordinates for their new base herself. 

Martouf takes up Carter's hands. "I give you my word, I will watch over you father as if he were my own." 

Erm.… This is very uncomfortable to watch. He can't help but feel a tad possessive of her. 

"Thank you." Huh. She has a bright smile. 

Carter and Jacob say their goodbyes as the Stargate engages. 

"There will come a time when the Tok'ra and the people of the Tau'ri will destroy the System Lords," Garshaw says by way of parting. 

"That'll be a good day," Jack agrees. 

Daniel comes forward with a Sagan box. "Um, this box has a signature in it we can recognize. Just send it through the gate and we'll know you want to contact us." 

A last look between father and daughter and the Tok'ra step through the shimmering event horizon. 

Jack has never been quite so happy to see the backs of people before. The gate disengages and he lets out huff. "I need some aspirin. Right now." 

Daniel looks at him from under long lashes; follows him down the ramp. "You would have gone back for her." 

"Duh." 

Daniel smiles. Jack smiles. Jack heads straight to the infirmary for some massive amounts of pain-reliever. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

His most recent headache manifested itself as a bright, stabbing pool of pain just behind his eyes.

Daniel was down in one of the lab's storage rooms. The one with the smooth, sleek metal safes drilled into the wall. He punched in a code and out popped one of the shelves. 

Tok'ra stuff. A hand device. A palm healing device. Both of which brought memories now dulled by ascension, and time, and far too much distance between that life and the world in which he now lived. 

Tollan stuff. A communicator. He could call the Tok'ra again, but they'd just say the same thing they said last week. The Tollan? Not possible anymore. The Asgard have been incommunicado from the very beginning. 

Such a vast universe and no one to help. 

Rubbed the heels of his hands over both eyes. Tried to press the migraine back into just a normal headache. Hated being helpless. Hated being passive. Was this what it was like for Jack, watching his flesh peel off and his body fluids leak out? 

_The universe is very vast. And we are so small._

Gritted his teeth. Slammed the shelves back, flipped the door closed. Stood there, staring off into space, feeling cold. 

Jack was frozen solid, but Daniel was the one feeling the cold. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~


	35. Animus

**35\. Animus**

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel took a late shower on base. He wanted to make sure Sam was feeling okay, and she seemed pretty happy now that her dad was going to be all right, so he was in good spirits. Teal'c nodded to him in passing as he grabbed a towel for a quick scrub-down.

Went to the locker room, opened his locker, and through the steam – there sat Jack. In civilian shorts and nothing else, looking out into space. Daniel padded over. Jack was just staring ahead of him, towel balled up in his fists. 

"Jack." 

A blink. Two. "I…." 

"Yeah." 

"I left h —" 

"No you didn't." Daniel emphatically shook his head. "She asked to stay behind and you let her. Besides, we both knew the second you could, you'd have headed back." 

Jack looked so lost. 

He didn't really think about it, he just reached over and started massaging Jack's shoulders. If he thought about it, it would have been really odd to do that in the middle of the base's locker room. But he and Jack had done it so many times for each other at home.… And Jack melted almost instantly against him, soft hair brushing against Daniel, Jack's forehead resting on his stomach. 

He petted Jack lightly. Jack pressed a closed-mouth kiss to his navel. There was really nothing sexual about it, so it didn't occur to Daniel to mind. He backed away slowly and started undressing. 

Thankfully Jack just looked down at his own towel, kept rolling it in a circle like a ball between his hands. 

Daniel couldn't bear the heavy silence after a while. "I never thanked you for dinner." 

"Uh… yes you did?" 

He batted his eyes, caught himself doing it, and stopped. "I meant, I never returned the favor. How about some pizza and beer? My treat." 

"Okay," Jack brightened. "I'm a little tired though; can we go someplace close?" 

Daniel was tempted to offer his place, but that would just lead to more temptation. Vito's was also a pretty loaded place. "Sure. Gotta be something nearby." 

He drove them to a little diner in town. Neither of them ordered pizza – he had a wrap and Jack, predictably, went for a burger. But they both ordered beer. Jack got his usual crap and Daniel took a dark draft. 

It was… relaxed. Of course, there was still a charge in the air, but they were both too tired to dwell on it. 

"Places like this remind me of Minnesota. Hell, this _is_ Minnesota," Jack said. 

Daniel looked around. Jukebox, plush booth seats, old posters on the wall. Handmade milkshakes. "Yeah." 

"But this wasn't normal for you, as a kid." 

He sighed. Really didn't want to think about his life in foster care right now. "There was a great cafe; my father used to take me to in Egypt. Had the best coffee." 

"You drank coffee as a kid?" Jack asked incredulously. 

"Jack, it was Egypt. Everyone drank coffee." 

"No wonder you've got such an addiction going. You were weaned on the stuff." 

He shrugged. It was practically true. Looked down at the menu. Not sure why he had to say it, he just did. "I missed you too." Very, very soft. Almost couldn't hear it over the restaurant noise. 

Jack heard him though, he was certain. Felt a knee tap against his outer thigh. It sent a jolt through him. 

What a dangerous edge they walked. 

"So don't be such a stranger." 

He swallowed. "It's hard, Jack." 

"What is? My company? Am I really suddenly so difficult to be with?" Jack sounded genuinely worried about it. 

Daniel shook his head. Confession time. "It's hard to be with you and not want… to be with you." 

Jack frowned. 

He sighed. Fine, gonna make him say it. "It's hard not to jump your bones, old man." 

Didn't quite know how to take that, did he? Eyebrows rising and falling in surprise. "Oh." 

"Yeah." 

"Well…." Jack waved the comment away. "I mean, I _am_ a stud muffin but… I trust your self-control." 

Daniel chewed his lower lip. "Stud muffin?" 

Jack batted his eyes. "Yes, peachy poo?" 

God, they were back to flirting. It was just natural. Jack did it all the time, it was just part of him. Daniel, too. It's not that he was an attention-whore, but… he craved _Jack's_ attention, that much was sure. 

The food came and thankfully they didn't have to talk. Jack stole his fries, which was fine because Daniel never could finish them anyway. The record in the jukebox turned over and suddenly they were listening to "Ice cream" by Sarah McLaughlin and yes, it was very tense for a second. 

Jack wouldn't look at him. 

"I never saw this coming. Never imagined myself in this situation," Daniel said to the window. 

"Yeah, tell me about it." Melancholy was not a good look for Jack. 

"I mean, I've always wanted for things I couldn't have.…" A family. A permanent home. A lover to share everything with. "I just never had it sitting right in front of me before." 

Fuck, he'd said too much. Jack was staring at him with something akin to awe. A hand on his knee, squeezing, and Daniel shut his eyes, shut it out. 

"Please," he said, pained. Please get that hand off his thigh. 

"So, what? I'm not supposed to touch you?" Jack lowered his voice. "I don't know how I'm gonna be able to keep my hands off you. I'm not supposed to want you? There isn't a damned day that goes by…." Jack trailed off, and Daniel just deflated. "Are you teasing me?" Narrowed eyes, seething. 

"No!" God, how could he think that? 

"Daniel…?" 

"If you ever think it, Jack O'Neill, I'll… I'll… I'll kick your ass!" 

Jack tried really hard, he did, but he couldn't help laughing. "Yeah, okay." 

"I mean it. You have to sleep sometime." Daniel folded his arms. 

"If you recall, Danny boy, I sleep pretty lightly." 

Yes, he did recall. And he recalled the way Jack ate and showered and read the paper and did pushups and went for jogs and did the dishes methodically. He didn't forget a thing. 

"Come on," Daniel said. "I'll drive you home and then I've got to tuck in. We're set for another mission day after tomorrow and I've still got to report on our new relations with the Tok'ra tomorrow." 

"Ugh. Snakes, man.…" Jack shuttered. "Can't believe Jacob went in for that sort of thing." 

"He didn't have much of a choice." Daniel shifted uncomfortably. "I mean, if it was life or death for you, I'd hope you'd choose —" 

"You know exactly what I'd choose," Jack said sharply. "And thanks for telling me, by the way. About Carter's dad." 

Daniel felt guilty. Rock and a hard place. "Wasn't my place to tell you." 

"The fuck. We're a team. Carter could have been emotionally compromised, and even better, Daniel, if I had known, I might have made things a little easier on her." 

Yeah, guilt. "I'm sorry." 

Jack sighed. "Sorry never cut it with me." 

"Or with your father, I take it." 

That had Jack just this side of vicious in under two seconds flat. "What?" 

Daniel swallowed. "Your speech pattern changed. You were quoting someone. I'm guessing it was your father. I'm guessing sorry never cut it with him." 

Right on the mark. Jack looked pissed. "I am _not_ my father. Quoting him doesn't make me anything like him." 

And then Daniel's hand was under the table, running the back of two knuckles up and down Jack's thigh with very sweet strokes. "I know that. I didn't say that. I'm just saying… sorry _does_ cut it, sometimes. Okay? Sometimes sorry has to be good enough." 

He sighed. Jack put his hand under the table and squeezed Daniel's fingers. "I'm not a bully, am I?" 

"No. Well… no. Not really. Stubborn and pushy, yeah." 

"Okay, thanks." 

"You've never trampled over anyone, that I've seen, Jack." 

Still hadn't let go of Daniel's fingers. Didn't want him to. But the check came. "I got it." Daniel pulled out a credit card and was sure to leave the waitress a generous tip. 

They drove home listening to NPR, the announcer's voice droning on in the background. Jack got out of the car a little too quickly but was at Daniel's window before he had a chance to put the car in reverse. The window was open, a light breeze coming in, and Daniel could smell Jack's cologne on the wind. 

"Daniel?" 

"Hm?" 

"Do you know what happens when you want something right in front of you and you can't have it?" 

He shook his head. Very dangerous ground. 

"One of two things. Either you shut down and stop wanting anything all together, or you bust and just give in. That's always been my experience. And I don't want us to shut down, Daniel." 

So sincere. Night breeze and starlight and wanting Jack so bad. "Me, either." 

"Then come inside." 

Bit his lip. "Can't, Jack. Couldn't hold my head up and neither could you." 

Glittering eyes. "I assure you, I've done worse." 

Yeah, he sensed that. "But I haven't." 

"No. So, then.…" 

"Jack.…" A hand on Jack's arm. "Jack, I think in time, we can still be friends. Just friends. Good friends. Don't give up on me, okay?" 

Jack closed his eyes, held his breath. "Daniel, you're in the driver's seat. I'm just being taken for a ride." He turned slowly and walked into the house. 

Daniel felt like such a shit. But this was the way it had to be. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack hears about how SG-11 discovers a substance called trinium on PXY-887, and the following day SG-1 are called to the briefing room to discuss the stuff.

Also, there's the little matter of a SG-11 going missing for a few days. 

"As of this morning, they are forty-eight hours overdue for the weekly check-in. It's time to find out why," George says. 

"Any indigenous people on the planet?" Jack asks. 

"Well, not according to a preliminary sweep by the UAV," Hammond says. Because that's just so reliable. 

"Well, it is a big planet, sir." There, that came out cautionary yet respectful. 

"True enough... and Conner's people have only scouted within a few miles of the base camp, but they picked up no radio traffic, EM signatures... no sign of any indigenous life whatsoever." 

Just then the alarm klaxon goes off. 

"SG-11 is returning," a female technician says. 

Hammond turns to the window. "There'd better be a damned good explanation." 

SG-1 join General Hammond at the observation window and watch the wormhole activate. Suddenly an arrow whizzes out of the wormhole, through the observation window glass, and into Jack's right bicep. Everyone falls to the floor for cover just as the arrow impacts _deep_ into Jack. 

George jumps up and looks at the whole in the shattered window. "Everyone all right?" 

No, everyone is not fucking all right. Jack is lying face down, putting all his weight on his very much wounded right arm, waving his left arm like a flag of surrender. "Uh, no....Oh, no." 

Daniel is right there to help him sit up. Jack holds back his moans. He looks down at his bloodstained shirt and at the metallic arrow stuck in his arm. "Oh, God." Why is this shit always happening to him? Couldn't someone else get harpooned just once? 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel's paces outside the infirmary for what seems like ages. Finally Janet lets him and Sam and Teal'c in.

Jack is lying on one of the beds. He looks okay, considering. "Hi, kids." 

"We're about ready to ship out, sir. You gonna be okay?" Sam asks. 

Jack makes a face. "I'm not dead, Captain... just grounded for a few days." 

Thank God, Daniel adds silently. 

"Well, if the bullet-proof glass hadn't slowed it down —" 

Yes, Sam, thanks. Shut up now, he thinks. 

"Oh, please... aliens are always poking me full of holes." This he says looking at Daniel. 

He should probably say something. "Uh, you might be interested to know that the... arrow was... native North American, but of advanced design." Um, why Jack would care was beyond him, really, he just wants something to say. 

Daniel hands the front half of the arrow to Sam, who then hands it to Jack. 

"Our preliminary tests show it was made of pure, forged trinium. If there are Native Americans on this planet, they've come a long way, technologically, in the past few hundred years." 

Daniel shakes his head. "And we just marched in and started mining." 

General Hammond walks in as Jack examines the arrow and then Daniel. 

"I've just talked to the Pentagon," the general says. "While they're obviously concerned about finding SG-11, they also want to avoid further upsetting the indigenous people." 

Sam smirks just a little. "Meaning they don't want to risk losing the trinium." 

Hammond nods. "Your secondary objective is to negotiate a mining treaty with these people. Obviously, we've started our relations on the wrong foot." 

Um, yeah just a bit. 

"But that's so _rare_ , sir," Jack says, and sometimes Daniel just wants to say fuck it all and kiss him right in front of everybody. 

"Captain, as you are taking over command of SG-1 on this mission, my superiors have ordered me to remind you to be diplomatic." 

Sam tries not to puff up too much. "Yes, sir." 

"Just as _I_ would be," Jack says to no one in particular. 

Daniel looks at Teal'c. Teal'c glances at General Hammond. They all just decide to let it go. 

"SG-1, you have a go." 

All three turn to leave. 

"Sam...." Jack says quietly. 

Daniel stops just outside the door, frozen when he hears Jack use her first name. 

Sam stops and turns back to face Jack. "Colonel?" 

"First command? Cool." 

Daniel smiles; Jack is a good leader. 

"I'll do my best, sir." 

"I know you will, Captain." 

"Thanks." 

He gets going, not wanting Sam to know he's been eavesdropping. Not wanting Jack to know he might even care. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It looks as if SG-11 just disappeared where they stood, no footprints of any kind leading away from their camp or the mining site. Which Daniel finds creepy.

They come across a large, intricate totem pole. "It's, uh, it's a clan crest... I believe. Akin to the style of the central coast Salish Indians. It... it tells the story of the clan's origin. This one tells of how they were brought here from a distant planet by evil rulers. Now, according to this figure… uh, the evil rulers were probably Jaffa, taking them from Earth." All in a day's work. 

"So this was once a Goa'uld planet?" Sam asks. 

"Well, according to the crest, the Goa'uld were destroyed by Xe'ls, who's protected them ever since." 

"Xe'ls?" 

"He's the Salish's main spirit. On Earth he's a benevolent one, traditionally, and represented by this raven figure." See, missions without Jack can be fun, because no one cuts him off and starts pressing him for strategic information. 

It all is going so well, and then – 

Two darts strike Teal'c in the back. The big guy collapses, and then Sam is hit with a dart. She falls near Teal'c. Daniel is hit and falls too. Five Native American males approach with bows and arrows and the run-of-the-mill loincloths. Daniel's last thoughts are about how much Jack is going to kick his ass for getting kidnapped again. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They wake up in a lodge. Outside, there are teepees and meat-racks. Definitely Native American. Sam says if they are prisoners that there's a good chance SG-11 are still alive.

Daniel knows he should be focused on more important things, but he is just fascinated with their trinium prison. "It's amazing, they've managed to... evolve technologically, yet essentially maintain their way of living." 

"Yet we observed no facilities for manufacturing. There should be visual indications of processing," Teal'c says. 

Hm, true. "Well, the Salish on Earth are migratory depending on the season, so...." 

Sam looks around. "Wonder how far we are from the mining camp?" 

Just then three of the male villagers enter the room. "Couple of days walk," the middle one says casually. "I am Tonane." 

Wow. English. Wow. 

"Captain Samantha Carter, SGC." 

Tonane raises his eyebrows. "Long name." 

"Okay, how 'bout Sam?" she says. Daniel likes Sam acting as leader. She's nice. And diplomatic. Women are traditionally better negotiators; they usually look for win-win situations. Not like Jack, who is immediately suspicious of _everyone_. 

"Sam," the man repeats with a smile. 

Daniel instantly likes him. He's even more kind and child-like than the Abydonians. 

"Uh, these are my friends, Dr. Daniel Jackson…." Sam motions to him. 

"Doc?" Tonane asks, looking for a pattern. Interesting. 

"Daniel's fine." 

"I am Teal'c." The big guy bows. 

Tonane smiles. "The spirits say you have a demon inside you, Teal'c." 

Wow. The… who? 

A pause and then Teal'c assures, "The demon will cause you no harm. I give you my word." 

Tonane nods. "Normally, that would mean a great deal to me, but how do I know the value of your word? We've only just met." 

"We mean you no harm, Tonane," Sam insists. 

"If you mean us no harm, why did you bring weapons?" 

Okay. Yeah. Sam nods to the validity of the question and then says, "Self-defense. Our friends are missing. We need to find them." 

"They're not missing. They're with the spirits." Tonane cocks his head. 

Oh crap. "Wh — you mean dead?" 

Tonane laughs. "No, no, no... with the _spirits_." 

"Uh-oh... the spirits." Sam shoots him a look. 

"You don't know the spirits, Sam?" Tonane asks. 

Daniel decides to take it from there. "Oh, we-we know the spirits. We definitely – definitely - know the spirits, but there's so many in the forest. Specifically which spirits are they with?" 

"Xe'ls probably. Maybe T'akaya." 

Oh boy. 

Sam steps forward. "Are we prisoners?" 

"No. You're free to go." Tonane gestures them out of the lodge. 

Sam goes for the goal. "Can we have our weapons back?" 

Tonane shrugs. "Okay." 

Shoots and scores. Wow, these are a relaxed and friendly people. 

The team puts their gear back on. In the background children are running around and laughing. The villagers all seem at ease. 

"One more thing, Tonane, our friends —" but the man interrupts Sam. 

"We were returning from our winter camp and we saw your friends making war on our mountain, trying to take the ke." 

"Ke... trinium?" she hazards a guess. 

Good guess. 

"Yeah, that's what your friend called it. After Xe'ls took your friends, he told me to shoot an arrow through the circle of standing water to warn your kind not to return. I guess you didn't understand." 

Ah. Tonane shot Jack. Well that's just…. 

Sam shoots him a look. "Oh, no... we understood, but warning or no warning, it's not our custom to abandon our friends." 

Tonane ponders this. "I could introduce you to Xe'ls and we could tell him it was all a misunderstanding." 

"So, what you're saying is you'll take us to where our friends are?" Sam sounds hopeful. 

The little man shakes his head. "I don't know where your friends are, but Xe'ls will." 

Daniel looks at Sam and shrugs. What else are they gonna do? 

"It wouldn't hurt to ask. Right, Sam?" Tonane is either the nicest person in the galaxy, or very evil and they are all going to die. 

"Right," Sam replies 

Tonane starts heading off to the forest. 

Teal'c whispers, "Clearly, Tonane is blaming the spirits for his actions." 

Sam nods. "Well... clearly... but if it's the only way to get back SG-11, then I say we let him." 

Daniel isn't so sure it's a good idea to just dismiss these spirits as mere fantasy just yet, but he goes along. Trinium, mining, treaties, all very boring. Native American aliens? Priceless. For everything else, there's MasterCard. 

Okay, no more substituting TV for Jack. 

On their walk, he quietly says to Sam, "Look, wherever we're going... there's probably going to be a... a ceremony of some kind. I don't know, they might even ask you to dance. But whatever it is, no matter how ridiculous it may seem, just try to go along with it." 

He doesn't know why he was so worried. This is Sam, not Jack. "Don't worry," she assures him. "Tonane, uh, I was wondering... how is it that you remove the impurities from the ke so that it won't crumble?" 

Tonane blows out a big breath. "Well, first, we ask the, uh, the spirits to ask the mountain for the ke. Then, if the mountain is in a good mood, they drop the ke in the river. The river cleans the ke until it's shiny... and then we take it out of the river and shape it into whatever we need." 

Sam nods. "Oh." 

Yep, nice guy, but nuts. 

They head deeper into the forest. Tonane yells, "Xe'ls! T'akaya!" 

Color Daniel confused. "Wait... you're not going to perform and ceremonial dance or... or something?" 

Tonane is amused. "My great-great grandfather used to call the spirits that way, but one day Xe'ls just said, ‘call my name,' and that's what we do." 

Oh. He's vaguely disappointed. Not that he wanted to dance. Daniel can't dance. Not well. Still…. 

Teal'c moves ahead of them and Daniel can tell from his posture that something is up. 

A wolf appears, snarling. Then the wolf walks up and stands in right front of them. 

"Captain Carter," Teal'c warns. 

Tonane walks around Teal'c to see the wolf. "T'akaya, my friend. My, your coat shines beautifully today." Then, out of the side of his mouth to Sam, "A little flattery couldn't hurt, Sam." 

Sam obviously thinks this is ridiculous, but says, "My, what big eyes you have." 

God, a bit of Jack is in all of them, isn't he? 

"Ask her about your friends," Tonane urges. 

"T'akaya... do you think our friends might be.…" She shakes her head at Daniel – it's just too hard for a scientist like her. 

"She's right there," Tonane encourages. 

"I can only see a wolf, Tonane. Uh, a beautiful animal, granted... but not a spirit." 

"You can't see the wind, either, Sam, but you know it's there. You can hear it. You can feel it. You can see its effects on the trees. It's the same with the spirits. You see a wolf, but T'akaya is there." 

That's actually very beautiful. 

Suddenly a raven caws and lands in a nearby tree, behind the group. The branch bends under its weight. 

Daniel gets an idea. "Tonane... is-is that Xe'ls?" 

"Yes, it is, Daniel." 

Daniel turns and walks a little closer to the tree where Xe'ls is perched. 

Okay. Up to him then. He's the cultural expert. "Xe'ls... we mean you and Tonane no harm. We apologize for any misunderstanding you've had with our friends. If you would release them we'd be very grateful." 

The raven caws in response. Daniel turns to the others. "Did you hear that? I'm almost sure that he said he would release them." 

"I believe I heard it also," Teal'c says. 

"Is that what you heard, Sam?" Tonane asks; he doesn't sound convinced. 

"Uh... what I heard was a... little different." She shoots Daniel a look. 

Tonane looks back at Daniel. "I thought I heard him say that he would think about it, then he would get back to us." 

Sam rolls her eyes. "Riiight... that's what I heard." 

Crap. "Well, are you sure? I mean, he just —" 

Sam holds up her hands. "Daniel... forget it. Let's just let the bird think about it. Come on…. Tonane, do you mind if we look around a little while Xe'ls is making up his mind?" She doesn't wait for a response. 

Can take the girl our out of the Air Force, but can't take the Air Force out of the girl. Daniel begins to see Jack in a new light. 

"Fine by me. Xe'ls will catch up to us," Tonane says brightly. 

The raven caws and flies away as Tonane accompanies SG-1. They continue into the forest a short distance. It's a shame Jack isn't on this mission. This is his territory here; trees, lakes, mountains, deep woods. Daniel thinks it's very pretty, in a post card way, but he likes the sun hot enough to bake clay and the smoothing grains for desert sand. This kind of setting is just lost on him, really. 

The raven caws and lands on a pine tree ahead of them. Tonane approaches it. 

"Well, that was fast." The raven caws a few more times. 

Sam hedges. "Uh, I'm sorry, I missed that one." 

"Xe'ls has granted your request. Your friends will be released." 

Well great. And they didn't even have to dance. 

"Did he say when?" Sam asks. 

"Captain Carter," Teal'c says again. 

They turn to see T'akaya walk in front of them. Seconds later, all seven members of SG-11 walk out of a strange, sudden mist. 

"Captain Carter?" Captain Conner blinks like he's coming out of a dream. 

Tonane smiles. "How does it feel to see the wind, Sam?" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They briefly talk to Captain Conner and then meet with the Salish elders, who deny them the trinium because their mining methods are wasteful and hurt the mountain.

Sam tries to reason with them. "Our people may need more than the river can provide, but we don't wish to shorten your supply. Now, we do have other mining methods that are less destructive." 

The Elders speak in their native language again. "Perhaps Tonane could return with you through the circle of standing water and see these methods?" the speaker proposes. 

Sam looks a little taken aback. "Uh, y-yeah, that's a solution. Um... have any of your people ever traveled through the circle before?" 

The raven, who is perched on the interior rafters of the building, caws. 

"The spirits say it's too dangerous." 

Tonane seems anxious to go. "Can't be _that_ dangerous. They're alive... and I love to travel." 

Sam looks reluctant but… "Great, then it's settled." 

And that's how they end up bringing Tonane back to the SGC. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack is actually very impressed that Carter managed to bring everyone back undamaged and without getting captured. Plus, she brought back an honest-to-goodness Indian, something Jack's only been dreaming about since he was five.

Hammond makes the introductions. "Tonane, this is Colonel Jack O'Neill." 

"Jack?" the little man says. 

Jack brightens. This is so cool. "Yeah, that'll do. It's an honor to meet you, sir." 

Jack offers his left hand and Tonane takes it. They shake. He moves aside and lets Fraiser conduct her examination. When that's over, they take Tonane to the briefing room where they show him movies about their mining methods. 

Tonane thinks they are all wasteful. "I'm convinced that our way is best." 

Jack looks to Daniel. "Your way meaning... your spirits ask the mountain to send the stuff to you down the river?" 

Tonane smiles. "Yes, Jack. It's the best way... and the only way we will allow you to take the ke." 

Okay. Well. Yeah. But he sat through all those boring-ass _slides_. 

"I see," George says. "Perhaps, uh, Dr. Jackson would show you the rest of our facility? I'm sure you'll find it interesting." 

Daniel looks surprised but goes along. ""Uh... yes... I-I'd also like to show you images of your ancestors." 

"Ancestors?" 

Now _that_ has Daniel lit up like a Christmas tree. "Oh, yeah, yeah. This may come as a bit of a shock, but we believe that your great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather may have actually come from here." 

"From here?" Tonane points to the base's floor. 

"Um... I'll show you." 

Jack has to hide his grin as Tonane leaves the briefing room with Daniel. No one else moves. 

"Well... his mind's made up," Jack says with a shake of the head. 

"That's unfortunate." Ut-oh. He doesn't like Hammond's tone.… 

"They _are_ offering to share the trinium, sir," Conner says. 

"Small deposits, washed down from the mountain over thousands of years. That may be enough trinium to meet the needs of Tonane's tribe, but not enough for any practical application. Therefore, I have been ordered to consider other initiatives." George looks at him. 

"Initiatives?" Carter says with trepidation. 

"Nothing sinister, Captain. The NID has a proposal before the Pentagon suggesting that when the Salish migrate south, we send another SG team to the planet to continue extracting samples and leave again before the Salish return." 

That really hits a nerve. "You mean steal it." 

"I'm not comfortable with that, sir," Carter agrees. 

"I don't like the idea of lying to Tonane's people any more than you do, but the next time the Goa'uld attack, we might not be so fortunate. We need whatever military advantages we can find. If that means trinium —" 

This is ridiculous. He can't believe Hammond is going to sit there and say the end justifies the means. 

"Sir, I am all for getting the trinium, but there has to be an alternative," Carter pleads. 

Yes, alternatives. Give Daniel enough time and enough coffee and they'll have one. "Is anyone at the Pentagon or along the chain of command remotely concerned about their aboriginal rights, repeating history, that annoyingly pesky moral stuff?" He waves his hands around in circles. 

"That's enough, Colonel," Hammond checks him. 

But Carter backs him up. "With respect, General, I think he's right." He always liked Carter. Sam. Sam Carter. 

"Yeah, what the hell; worked before...." Jack knows he's pushing it, but he's pissed. 

"I've got assurances that it will only be a small exploratory operation with much less damage to the mountainside, and hopefully, what they don't know won't hurt them. Dismissed." With that, Hammond walks into his office. 

"Sweet," Jack says with all the venom he can muster. Jack leaves with Carter on his heels. Teal'c is not far behind. 

"Colonel, we should go back in there and...." 

But Jack doesn't even slow down. This is the military. It's a _dirty_ business sometimes and it's high time Carter learned that. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of course, it turns out that Captain Conner wasn't Captain Conner, but one of Tonane's spirits in disguise. One of Tonane's very pissed off, making-people-disappear- spirits in disguise.

Jack manages to get the blast doors shut in the control room and send out a warning. "Code nine! Code nine! This is not a drill! I repeat, not a drill!" 

Jack runs down the hallway and nearly smashes into Carter and Teal'c. "Ah! Jeez!" 

"Sorry, sir." 

He looks around – no Daniel. "Are we the only ones to make it to the armory?" 

Carter nods. "Looks like it. Why the code nine?" 

Yeah, why that? "Brace yourself... SG-11 is boppin' around, waving their arms, making our people disappear." 

Teal'c catches on before she does. "So we did not bring back SG-11?" 

"I don't think so. Where's Tonane?" 

Sam hesitates. "With Daniel. Archives." 

Figuring Daniel is okay there for a while, Jack leads them to where the alarm first originated – the labs. Dr. Warner is there, but about two minutes into their conversation, Jack knows it isn't him. 

"So who are you?" 

Dr. Warner says he's one of Tonane's spirits and threatens to kill all their people if Tonane is not let go. He raises his wrists and Teal'c zats him. Before losing consciousness, the alien – now in it's true, somewhat ugly and many finned, form – says, "You will be punished." 

Crap. Never a normal day. Oh no. "All right, let's get him... it... back to the infirmary." 

Teal'c picks up Xe'ls and begins dragging him along. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Ever since the alarm is raised, Daniel's been hiding Tonane in a storage closet. But Tonane gets quickly bored. Daniel levels with him, admits there is a problem, and the only thing he can think to do is find Jack or Janet.

They cautiously make their way to the infirmary, and there stands Jack, Sam, and Teal'c. 

"Jack?" he asks, as they raise their weapons to him. 

"Daniel?" 

"Are you you?" he says. 

"Yeah, you?" 

You, him? "What?" 

"Never mind. Tonane, we need to talk." Yep, that's Jack. 

"Daniel says you have some problems. Maybe I should just go home," the man suggests. 

"Uh... not just yet." Jack sighs. "Our people are disappearing all over the base and it has something to do with you. Did you know Conner and SG-11 were really aliens?" 

Tonane frowns. "What are aliens?" 

"Come here." 

Jack takes Tonane to see Xe'ls. Tonane is shocked to see the fins, the purple… skin… strange hands. Frankly, so is Daniel. 

" _That_ is an alien. It also happens to be one of your spirits," Jack says. 

It all clicks into place for Daniel from there on. 

They have a quick chat with Tonane and discover that the spirits won't harm the base without first finding Tonane, and probably wouldn't have done anything at all if the SGC hadn't been so hot for the trinium. 

"Okay from what I overheard, they won't destroy the base until they've found Tonane," Daniel reassures. 

"Clearly, we must convince the aliens that we will make no further attempts to extract trinium from their world," Teal'c says. 

"The fact is, we got caught plotting behind closed doors. Now, I don't know how we're gonna convince 'em our word is good for squat." Jack bites his lip. "I mean, my God, we shot _that_ one." He indicates Xe'ls. "We come across any more of 'em, I don't think it's gonna be a very long conversation." 

Options? "Okay. We can still appeal to the elders. Tell them what's happened," Daniel tries. 

"You mean, fess up?" Jack asks incredulously. They all look at him. "Yeah, okay. You and Teal'c try and gate back. See if you can get 'em to speak to the spirits for us." 

Daniel and Teal'c leave. They get as far as the gate room when they see T'akaya, in wolf form, on the ramp. 

"Just... let me try and talk to her first. Wait here," he says to Teal'c. 

Daniel walks cautiously into the gate room while Teal'c watches from the control room. 

"T'akaya... before you... make me disappear or bite me, just... hear me out." 

She transforms into her true form again. Meanwhile, in the control room, two more aliens have approached Teal'c and he flashes away before he can fire his zat at either of them. Daniel turns just in time to see Teal'c disappear. Then turns back in time to see T'akaya bringing her hands up. 

He cringes.... "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! I-I know where Xe'ls is." 

Ah, the magic words; how often have they saved his ass? "Where? Where is Xe'ls?" 

He hedges. "Do you promise to hear me out?" 

T'akaya lowers her hands in acceptance. 

Suddenly, a flash, and Daniel, Tonane, and T'akaya are back in the infirmary. As are all the other ‘spirit' aliens. Sam raises her zat and is flashed away. Jack raises his pistol but stops when he hears Daniel yelling from behind the alien. 

"Wait! No! Jack... it's okay. Just... let them tend to Xe'ls." 

Jack waves his pistol back and forth. "How do I know you're really Daniel?" 

Daniel shrugs. Should know him by now, better than anyone else. "Because." 

Not that he has a choice, but Jack says. "Yeah, okay." 

The six other aliens line up on either side of Xe'ls bed. They put their forearms up and bring their hands together. A light is emitted from their hands… it flows over Xe'ls' body. He suddenly wakes up. 

"Thank you," Xe'ls says. 

T'akaya nods. Xe'ls sits up. He puts his hands together and everything dissolves around them... suddenly they are all in the gate room. 

Xe'ls turns to walk up the ramp. "T'akaya, destroy this place." 

Daniel's heart leaps in his chest. Jesus. "Wait! You promised to listen." 

Xe'ls mocks them. "What they don't know won't hurt them. Isn't that what your leader said, Colonel? Their word means nothing." 

But T'akaya deflates. "And so would mine... if I were to do as you asked. I have made a promise to this one so that we could save your life." 

Xe'ls seems impatient. "I am listening... but I do not guarantee that your words will sway me from punishing you." 

"For what?" Jack asks. 

Xe'ls looks incredulous. "For trying to deceive the Salish and steal our key... and for attempting to destroy the trust and faith between Tonane's people and my own." 

Jack clears his throat. "Okay. I give you my word that we'll give up this mining operation." 

"Even if we could trust you, your superiors will not be swayed by your oath," T'akaya says. 

Jack nods; Daniel can tell he's played this conversation out in his head. Just like chess – know the opposition's moves and then your own. "So, don't take my word. Shut down your Stargate. That way, no one will be able to come to your planet unless you allow it." 

T'akaya and Xe'ls look at each other. It's brilliant. 

"Star travel is of no use to us. Let us close down the gate," T'akaya urges. 

Xe'ls nods. "This does not erase the second transgression." 

Daniel looks at Jack. Got a move to get them out of that one? Jack responds with, "What? Exposing who you are to Tonane? You've been posing as _Gods_ , for heaven's sake." 

Eeek. Like nails down a chalkboard, Daniel can't bear it. 

"Is that what you believe we do?" T'akaya bristles. "When we removed the Goa'uld from our planet a millennia ago, we adapted our form to those of the Salish spirits so that we could protect and coexist along side them in harmony, without interfering in their natural evolution... and now, because of you, that harmony has been broken." 

"In time, they will fear us, and use the ke we scatter through the rivers and forge weapons against us." Xe'ls looks genuinely worried. 

"No," Daniel says. "The Salish people you honor came from this world. Even now they value the natural world far more than technology. Trust them." 

Jack steps closer to him. "If you really do respect Tonane's people, you shouldn't be posing as their spirits. Trust them." 

T'akaya seems moved by this. "Our friend, Tonane, is wise... and so is our friend, Jack." 

"So he is," Xe'ls agrees. 

After a moment, Xe'ls bangs his wrists together again and Tonane reappears. 

Jack smiles, makes the introduction. "Tonane... Xe'ls. Xe'ls... Tonane." 

The meeting goes well and Daniel is relieved. The gate begins dialing out; Tonane is anxious to get home. 

"Oh, wait!" Daniel calls. "Um, what about our friends?" 

T'akaya smiles at him. "Your friends are right beside you, Daniel." 

Xe'ls thumps his hands together and everyone appears back in the gate room. 

Hammond looks dazed as he approaches Jack. "Colonel O'Neill?" 

"Um.…" He shares a look with Daniel. They watch the spirits and Tonane go through the wormhole. "I'll explain it all later, sir." 

Jack waves and Tonane walks into the circle of water. The older man then turns to look at Daniel, those brown eyes sorta twinkling or something, and it makes his insides all gooey and weird. He nods, heads off to his office so he can bury himself in paperwork and look at Sha're's picture every time he has impure thoughts of Jack. 

He looks at Sha're often. 

~*~


	36. Obrussa

**36\. Obrussa**

 

 

 

 

 

Things with Jack seemed somewhat subdued over the next few weeks. He was attentive if not warm; focused and composed.

Daniel was immediately worried. 

Because he knew Jack and knew mature, relaxed Jack was all a front, a front for his sake, and he longed to just go over to Jack's house and make it all better. At the same time, he spent so much of his spare time – which was very spare, indeed – poring over texts and trying to figure out where Apophis might have taken Sha're. 

He longed for his wife. 

He also longed for his best friend. 

And that moment, he could have neither. 

Also, there was the lack of sex. Which needed to be addressed and then put aside. It never really bothered him before. He was not a Casanova by any means and usually was too busy to remember to _eat_ let alone tend to his dick. 

But there wasn't much to do at night on a desert planet and his wife was, frankly, gorgeous. He'd missed her in every sense since returning to Earth. And then with Jack – Jack and touch went together like two giant things that were glued together. Jack and sex – sex with Jack was… not perfect. But hot. Damned hot. Scorching. The way he just _ate_ at Daniel…. The things he made Daniel _do_. 

And it wasn't just the sex, of course. It was the companionship. Daniel hadn't really had many male friends. There was Stephen, of course, but that relationship was competitive from the start and turned sour fast. If Daniel bonded with anyone, it was usually older women, like Catherine or even Janet. 

Jack was more than just an itch. Jack was a fire under his skin. Jack was flannel pajamas after a long day in a suit and a tie. Jack was horrid beer and mindless sports games and warm, sandalwood shampoo suds. Jack was what Daniel needed. 

Because Daniel was slowly coming undone. 

After about the fifth night of staying up all hours, drinking massive amounts of coffee, and getting absolutely nowhere, he picked up the phone. 

"'Lo?" 

"Jack." 

"Daniel?" 

"Yeah." Silence. 

"Daniel. It's six in the morning." 

Daniel nodded, but Jack couldn't see that through the phone, of course. "Guess it is." 

"Since when do you get up at six?" 

Daniel prrrrrrbed his lips. "I didn't actually… ah… sleep." 

"Okay. What's going on?" 

"Nothing," he said despondently. "A whole lot of nothing." 

"You called to tell me nothing was going on?" Jack sounded nonplussed. 

"Ah. Yeah. Did I wake you?" Shit. Way to go, genius, he thought. 

"No, doing sit-ups. You know that." 

He nodded again. He did know that. Jack always got up and worked out, it was routine. Sit-ups, pushups, jog, paper and juice, shower. Out the door by eight, never failed. "I didn't… I wasn't paying attention to the time." 

He shivered. So tired…. 

"Yeah, I gathered." Jack paused; he could hear the man shift something – the phone, switching ears – and then, "Danny?" 

He closed his eyes. There it was. That paternal concern. Jack's soft voice. That was kinda what he needed. "I'm not getting anywhere," he said, refusing to whine. "I keep looking at the texts. All of them. For hideouts. Worlds where he could have taken her. There's mention of a mystical place, there's tell of a moon system full of pleasure palaces, strongholds on dozens of worlds, I don't know where to look next —" 

"Daniel." 

"It's not like we can expect to just keep running into them, Jack; the universe isn't that small. And even if I did figure it out, Hammond won't exactly jump at the chance to send us all after Sha're. Not without you backing me up. And even then. It's not like she's got the deed to a trinium mine or the plans for a floating, disappearing city. She's just… my wife, Jack. And I need to find her. And I can't do it without you —" 

"Daniel —" 

He started pacing. "No, listen. Just… just listen, okay? I can't keep sitting here in this apartment, banging my head against the wall. I've tried everything. I'm _missing_ something." 

"Okay. You need to calm down." Strange that Jack could say that and not sound at all… condescending. Like he really cared. 

"I've been calm. I've been meditating with Teal'c…. I've been writing in my — Nothing helps. She could be — Jack, she has the memories of Amaunet. He could be fucking her right now —" 

"Daniel," Jack cut him off sharply. "Thinking like that? Does nothing to help Sha're. We'll keep looking, put our ears to the ground. We _will_ find her. The second she's in my sights, you know she's as good as home." 

He sat down on the edge of his bed. "Yeah, I know." Rubbed his forehead. "God, I know this is fucked up, but I had to call you.…" 

Jack breathed into the receiver. "I'm glad you did." 

Wow. A year ago he'd have to yank Jack's toenails off to get that out of him. "You are?" 

"Yeah. I'm still… I'm here, Daniel. Always." 

He sighed. "I don't deserve ya!" Had to lighten the mood a bit, it was getting too… gushy. 

Jack chuckled. "Oh you deserve me. I'm sure you sinned at some point, Danny boy, and now you gotta pay." 

Flashes – on the floor, a tangle of limbs and sweat and heat, mouths and cocks and fingers, nails digging into his back, raking his scalp, breathy moans. Yeah, he'd sinned. 

"Yo?" 

"Huh?" he blinked. 

"Listen. Take the day. Sleep. I'll tell George you've got a cold or something." 

"No, I should… I should get some stuff done." 

"Daniel." Oh, he knew that tone. 

"I can't just not show up to work because of this. People will think I'm unprofessional." 

Jack's turn to pbbbbt. "Daniel, you made the fucking gate _work_ for Christ's sake. No one is gonna think you're a slacker if you take a day off. You're no good to anybody half-dead." 

Daniel sniffed. Was so. Even half-dead he was smarter than most. "I'll be okay." 

"Yeah, I know you will." Warm and affectionate. "And if you come within ten steps of the base today, I'll have an Airman escort you home and tuck you in." 

Damn Jack O'Neill. He smiled. Just what he needed in a friend. "Thanks, Jack." 

"No sweat." 

Jack sounded slightly out of breath. What the hell was he… he wasn't…. he wouldn't do _that_ while Daniel was on the phone, would he? 

"I should… um, I'll let you go." 

"Hang on…. Ugh…. Twenty, okay. What did you say?" 

"What are you doing?" 

"What?" 

Daniel spoke up. "What are you doing?" 

"Pushups." 

Christ. He's having a heart-to-heart and Jack is doing… "Push-ups. On the phone." 

"One-handed," Jack said, smugly. 

"You are one messed up son of a bitch," Daniel laughed. 

"Fit, though. You know, I think you could use some exercise." 

"Oh, no. I see where this is going. No thanks." 

"Danny, it's a good stress reliever." 

"Jackie, I _don't run_. Not unless something scary is chasing me." 

He could practically hear Jack wince at the nickname. "You think it would help if I ran after you with a carving knife?" 

Daniel laughed again. Before he was climbing the walls; now he's spread out on the tail end of the bed, playing with his bangs and making jokes with Jack. Jack was just like that. Full of confidence; grounding. "Jack?" 

"Yeah?" 

"…Thanks." 

" _Any_ time, Daniel." 

Only you. Day and night. Night and day. Underneath the moon, and under the sun. Playing softly on the radio in the background. 

He sighed. "Yeah, go shower. You stink through the phone." 

"Yeah, yeah. See ya tomorrow. Get good rest." 

He hung up, smiled, curled into the covers. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ten hours later, he was woken by the dire need to piss. Took care of business and went hunting for food in the cupboard, when there was a knock on the door.

"Room service!" Jack. 

He opened the door and took one look at Jack – that damned sexy leather jacket, a cleanly-shaven jaw, and a brown paper bag full of delicious smells. He attacked the bag and left Jack to let himself in. 

"Don't say hello or anything." 

"Oh, God, miso soup!" Daniel moaned. He loved that stuff. It was so good — sick, well; hot, cold; hungry or just peckish — miso soup was the best. 

"Yeah. Got some noodles, too. Gotta load you up on carbohydrates." 

Daniel set the containers down on his table. Then his mind caught up with Jack. "Why?" 

"'Cause starting tomorrow, we're back to jogging." 

"Hell no." 

"You need it." Jack poked him in the ribs, but stopped when he felt… well, ribs. "Daniel, have you been eating at all?" 

Not really. "Of course." 

Jack frowned. "You never could lie to me. Don't start." 

He shrugged. "When I remember." 

"Uh huh." Jack opened up a carton of noodles – the _smell_ made his mouth water. 

He took a huge chunk with his chopsticks and it was like an orgasm for his tongue. "Mmm." Daniel just wolfed it down, as fast as he could without burning his mouth. "Ohhhh, mmmm!" 

Then he realized Jack was staring at him. Astonished. "Wha?" 

"Christ." Jack tossed napkins at him, making Daniel feel like a little kid. "That has to be the most erotic session of noodle-eating I've ever seen." 

"You don't get out enough." Winked. Dived back in. The soup was good. He'd had better, but this was Colorado. 

Jack opened a bottle of wine – Daniel shot him a glance but Jack seemed to have pure intentions because he said, "Just a little bit, now." And that was good too. 

"S'really good." 

The older man nodded. "Sleep okay?" 

Daniel nodded emphatically. "Yeah. Straight through. Thanks. What's going on at the base?" 

"Ah, Carter's all excited about some planet we're going to next. P…uh, X… something.…" 

Daniel smiled. "Why?" 

"Lovely weather?" Jack's eyes twinkled. "You know how she is." 

"Sam's cool." He loved her like a sister. Jack better not rag on her to him. 

Jack just nodded. "Very cool. And, I think she'll make a good team leader." 

Daniel just about dropped his chopsticks. "You planning on going somewhere anytime soon? Or… is Sam?" Okay; so sometimes he was jealous of the way the two flirted but he didn't want her to take over another team. 

"No, course not. But these knees… in a few years I'll be flying a desk and when I get there, I think she'll make a good leader for SG-1." 

Daniel swallowed very carefully. It was just talk. Jack would never give up SG-1. Jack _was_ SG-1. 

"I'm proud of her, actually. Of all you guys." Jack ate more slowly, enjoying it. Drawing it out. Daniel's eyes were drawn to his lips, wet, working, that jaw, damn, he smelled good…. Shit. Shit. 

Think of something to talk about. "So when do we go to PX something?" 

Jack raised his eyebrows. "When I'm convinced you're fully up to it." 

Daniel frowned. "What? I'm up to it. What do you mean? I'm up for it!" 

"Okay, there, tiger. You say you're up to it. Great. That's great. Prove it." Jack's chopsticks sneaked over like a streak of lightning and stole some of his dumplings. 

"Prove it…?" Daniel sighed. "By going jogging with you tomorrow." 

Jack nodded and winked. "Clever boy." 

"I really hate you, Jack." 

"No, you don't. I bring you food. I let you sleep." 

"You push my ass around like a plaything." 

"Hope springs eternal, Daniel." Glittering brown eyes. 

Shit. Stuff that in The Box. 

A tense silence, but Daniel just smiled graciously. "You _really_ need to get out more." 

A frown, a hunch. "I've seen enough of what's out there. I want what's in here." 

Okay, Jack was pushing. That was really pushing the envelope. Daniel drew a breath, trying to find a way to let Jack down easy, when the older man just tipped his chin up, planted a kiss, and stood quickly. 

"Get more rest. I'll come for you in the morning. Five-thirty, Daniel." 

"In your dreams, old man." Daniel got up. Walked Jack to the door. Knew he shouldn't do it, but reached out anyway, ran his hand down Jack's arm. Smooth black leather. Damn. "We can ship out tomorrow. Really, I don't need the run. I'm fine." 

"What about the company?" 

God…. Shook his head sadly. Leaned in. Kissed Jack's cheek. Held there, briefly. "I mean it. Thanks." Softly. Very softly. 

Jack didn't say anything. All he had to do was back Daniel up against the door and kiss him and Daniel would have just gone with it. Would have surrendered. And he could tell that Jack _knew_ it. 

Mouths were inches apart. Felt the heat coming off him. But Jack just squeezed Daniel's hand and let himself out the door. 

Banging his forehead on the wood, Daniel went to the bedroom, plopped down on the covers and when it got to be too much, undulated against the mattress, picturing Jack breathless and straining under him, and came quietly, desperately, choking on Jack's name in the lonely night. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack sighs. The wonder twins are at it again. SG-1 sits with Hammond around the briefing room table.

"In the five weeks since our return from PX7-941 —" Carter continues. 

"Known to its indigenous population as Madrona," Daniel interrupts, a slight nod to Jack. 

"— We've been able to process most of the data we've collected and as a result we think we've corroborated some startling first-hand observations." 

They wait. And Wait. 

Hammond sighs. "Which are?" 

"Well, sir, the inhabitants of this planet can proactively affect their own climate." 

Jack shakes his head. "That's a bit of an understatement, General. They can call it up just like that." He snaps his fingers. 

Daniel looks… giddy. "You got a crop that needs some water, order some rain; you have a crop that needs sun and it's literally a matter of dialing it up." 

George looks at Jack. "You sure you weren't under the local voodoo?" 

Oh, thanks very much. Ate one Argosian love-pizza and they never let him forget. 

"Believe me, General, no one was more skeptical than I, but the fact is we may have stumbled on the most important piece of technology the SCG missions has discovered to date," Carter says. 

"Even the Goa'uld do not possess such technology," Teal'c says. 

"And you think you know how they do it?" Hammond asks. Which is what Jack was about to ask, because, by nature he is a suspicious man. This is fact. The sky is blue. The sun is hot. Jack doesn't trust a soul. 

"Well our best theory is the planet was terra-formed about 900 years ago," Carter says. 

Which doesn't answer the question, per se. 

"Now, the Madronans are technologically primitive, so it's likely the planet was terra-formed by another alien race," Daniel finishes off. It's like watching a sock-puppet show sometimes. 

"Weather seems to be regulated by this device," Carter explains, turning on a monitor with a picture of a statue that holds a strange orb-clock-desk toy in its right hand. 

"The Madronans call it a Touchstone. It's an ancient artifact probably made by the other alien race. Uh.… It-It's right there in the statue's hand." Daniel points, like they're all morons. Jack knows he's just overly excited. Just being Daniel. 

Carter nods. "And the high priest turns a series of calibrated rings, which seem to determine meteorological conditions over the entire planet's surface." 

Jack has been clenching his ass muscles out of sheer boredom for the past five minutes. 

"We have any idea what makes it tick?" George asks. 

Jack straightens up. Daniel and Sam are both twitchy that he doesn't foul this up for them. "That's why we'd like to go back, sir. Carter wants to get a closer look with some of her specialized doohickeys." 

Hammond blinks. "Doohickeys?" 

Jack nods. "I believe that's a technical term, sir." 

From the corner of his eye, he can see Daniel's tiny smile. Feels good. 

Carter's all business as usual. "My instruments will measure the Touchstone's emissions and hopefully give us a better idea of how it works." 

George reaches the inevitable conclusion. "Any chance we can borrow it for a few days, do a little backwards engineering?" 

Carter shakes her head. "You have to understand, General, the Touchstone maintains the weather on this planet." 

"Right… okay then… go see what you can figure out." 

Happy just to get out of the briefing, Jack says, "Okay." 

His kids are just… well, buzzing. Weather doohickeys. It's always something with them. He can never figure out what to get them for Christmas, but this, this was easy stuff. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They go through the gate… and step out to darkness. Crackling lightning. It's like something out of a bad horror movie. The temple that stands a short distance from the gate has a body of water in the background. The water is splashing like mad. Several people are standing nearby. An old man and a woman approach the team.

Daniel does that weird bow-at-the-waist-with-his-hands-together-thing that they do here; Jack decides his knees are better off not imitating, and Daniel says, "Greetings, Roham, Princess La Moor." 

Princess La Moor. What the hell kind of a name is that? L'Amour. Oh, God, it's so cheesy. Couldn't these people come up with something else? 

"It's the visitors, Uncle." 

Jack has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from mocking her. So he has a thing about dim-witted, large-breasted, scantily-clad princesses and Daniel. 

"We demand that you return the Touchstone!" the old man… well… demands. 

"What! I-It's missing?" Carter says. 

"Do not play games. You must return it at once!" the man insists. 

Jack takes off his sunglasses. "No games. We didn't take it." 

Roham seems unsatisfied. "It is gone. Come… see for yourselves." 

In the temple, the statue is indeed missing its Touchstone. 

"Without the Touchstone to shield us we will soon be overtaken by the elements. It's only a matter of time before we begin to die because of your theft," Roham says. 

Jesus, it's like _Masterpiece Theatre_ gone awry. 

"All right… here's a question for you. If it was so important, why wasn't it guarded?" Jack asks. Because someone has to play devil's advocate. 

"It _was_ guarded," Roham says indignantly. "We let down our guard because of your people." 

Oh right, his people. 

"We trusted you," La Moor says. 

Oh, he can see it now. Scantily-clad, large-breasted, damsel-in-distress, outraged at their apparent betrayal… yep, pushing Daniel's buttons. Jack just plows on through, not giving the younger man a chance to play white knight. 

"We did _not_ take it," Jack insists. 

"Had we taken the artifact, there would have been no need to return to this place," Teal'c explains. 

Oh, Princess Louis L'Amour isn't done. "There were witnesses." 

Oh yeah? Give Jack a few minutes and enough piano wire and he can cough up witnesses that will admit to seeing anything. "And what did these witnesses see?" 

"A group of people taking the Touchstone in the dead of night. They were dressed much as you are and carried weapons like yours," she says. 

His team all look to each other. 

Okay… "Did they see where these people went?" Jack asks. 

"They left by your Stargate." Roham huffs. 

Daniel looks around. As if the culprits will magically materialize that way. 

"As you know, none of our people know how to use the portal." The princess _pouts_. At _Daniel_. He hates her. Hates her... a whole, whole bunch. Like, enough to wish herpes upon her. 

Teal'c raises his eyebrow; Jack cocks his head. 

Roham has had enough. "Guards…. Disarm the wrongdoers." 

He doesn't _think_ so. Jack whips out his Beretta and points it at the head of the nearest guard. "Hold it! All right… we came here in peace, we expect to go in one… piece," he clarifies. 

Yeah. Tonight, the butchering of the English language will be performed by Colonel Jack O'Neill, United States Air Force. 

Roham blusters, "Then explain yourself, but be warned. If your answers are not satisfactory, then we have no choice but to seek retribution." It would sound much more threatening if the man saying it didn't look like a refugee from a luau gone wrong. 

"Taking revenge on us will not return the Touchstone, for we are not those who took it," Teal'c states plainly. Damn, he's so like Yoda sometimes. A big, black, muscular Yoda. With a pouch. A Yoda-kangaroo. 

Jack worries about himself sometimes. 

"Perhaps not," Roham admits, "but it will lead us to those who did." 

He chuckles. "Only if they care what happens to us. Look, let me give you a little life lesson on thieves. They're not really in touch with their _feminine side_. Caring would be on a low… priority." Roham just walks away from him. 

"My uncle grows impatient." 

Jack moves his lips to mock the princess. He really can't stand her. Her or her cleavage. Whore. 

Daniel, of course, is still trying to reason with her. "If the thieves that took the Touchstone used the gate to escape then the only hope to get it back is to let us go back through the gate." 

And of course, Carter's backing him up. Because it's somewhere in her contract. "And if they did come from Earth, we have technology to help us find out who the thieves might have been." 

Roham just looks flabbergasted. "How do we know that you will not use the gate to escape responsibility?" 

Jack smiles. "Trust us?" 

"We are a simple people, Colonel," the princess says. 

Clearly, Jack thinks, sweeping her with his eyes. He has the urge to just hiss the word hussy at her. 

"We have no means to protect ourselves from this disaster. If my uncle decides to trust you this day, our entire future will depend on that decision." 

Yep, just push all of Daniel's buttons at once. He can hear the young man lecture him now. It's almost like they have a telepathic link, but that would just be too out of character for either of them. 

Jack sighs. "Okay, that's a little pressure! But we can handle that." 

A high wind blows into the temple. Two guards struggle to close the double doors. 

"Let them go," Roham finally says. Not like he has much choice. 

La Moor looks right at Daniel. "Please help us." 

Jack has to fight to put his Beretta back in its strap. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Upon coming back, Jack has the unfortunate task of telling George all about the situation. "The Touchstone was stolen, sir. By people wearing SGC uniforms. Came and went through the Stargate."

George is understandably upset. To the point of swearing. "What? Well, who the hell was it?" 

Jack hates the very notion of having to weed out someone from their ranks. He's done it before, it backfired, and even when he's right and they have a turncoat in their midst, it's never a pleasant business. "Everyone involved here would like to know that, sir." 

Hammond bristles. "I don't appreciate your implication, Colonel. Why would I send your team to study the thing if I knew it wasn't there?" 

He didn't mean _George_ , of course. "No implication intended, sir, but circumstances do beg the next logical question… which is.… Would any one of the other SG teams have gone through without your order?" 

Hammond shakes his head, looking a little lost. "Not without my knowing about it." 

Okay. Step two. "Yes, sir. General.… Mind if I have Carter recheck the dialing computer? Just to see if there are any signs anyone… sneaking through the gate… covertly, behind your back as it were, sir." Which he hopes to God is the case, because he just _cannot_ imagine George would ever do something like this. 

"Nothing happens regarding the Stargate without my knowing about it; if a person sneezes near it, I get a report," George says. 

Okay. He can't press. He doesn't _want_ to press. "I understand, sir." Makes to leave. 

"Colonel," Hammond stops him. "Have Carter check it anyway." 

Relief. George has to be innocent then. "Thank you… very much, sir." 

He gets his team on it right away; they spend hours searching the logs and computers. Apparently the weather on Earth has run amok in the meantime. Storms, flooding, hail the size of golf balls, even wild fires. 

"And you think it's this Touchstone?" Jack asks. "Kind of a reach, isn't it?" 

Daniel shakes his head. The light refracts off his glasses. "Well… not really if you think about it. Whoever left that device originally on Madrona probably keyed it to the atmospheric conditions of that planet. Somebody steals it and brings it back to Earth, starts fiddling around with it with no idea of what they are doing… and… who knows?" 

Jack sighs. It could be anywhere there's a Stargate. "We don't know it's on Earth." 

Sam – wait for it, it's good – _backs Daniel up_. He so didn't see that coming. 

"I'm thinking it is. There was a huge transitory glitch three days ago when SG-2 returned from a routine mission roughly the same hour as the Touchstone was taken." 

Jack just about jumps out of his BDU's. Not SG-2. He's known that crew since the beginning. That was Kawalski's team. 

"But SG-2's point of origin was galaxies away from Madrona," Teal'c says. 

Thank God. 

Carter nods. "Yeah, but the energy spike is off the charts. You remember what happened the last time the gate's power supply was overloaded?" 

Wonder twin, to the rescue! "It… jumped to the second gate in the Antarctic!" Daniel says. 

Jack leans back in his chair. Fights down the panic of being cold, broken, and stuck in an ice cave to die with an emotionally unstable Carter. "Yeah! Thanks for the memory." 

Carter says she thinks someone might have been using the second gate at the same time that SG-2 was, in order to hide the energy spike. 

Jack nods. "Kind of like shooting off a gun when a train's going by.…" He's done that once. In Madrid. Oops. Everyone is staring at him. "To hide the sound." 

Carter just lets it slide. "Yes, sir. Now let's see if I'm right. SG-2's log should have the same electronic signature that was present the last time the wormhole jumped its tracks. Bear with me." 

He isn't paying attention to half of what she's saying. "Bearing." 

She types furiously. "Damn, it should show up on the primary meta-log.… Nothing." 

Daniel moves closer to the screen and squints. "Try the back up log." 

He feels like he should hum a theme song whenever they're together. Okay, Jack admits it, he's jealous. They're forming a bond. A nice, simple, platonic bond, but a strong bond nonetheless, whereas his hold on Daniel is tenuous at best. 

At least Carter doesn't have cleavage. That he's aware of. 

Carter searches and searches and finds the missing link. Which is good because if she didn't, they'd run out of plot. 

"Who would have been authorized to use the second gate? I thought it had been officially decommissioned." Daniel does that cute little frown thing he does. 

"It was… officially." Jack clears his throat. So, of course, they all know that means it's been running this whole time. 

Jack goes to tell Hammond what they've figured out and finds his CO on the phone. 

"No, I need to talk to him now," Hammond says. "Son, do you know what color this phone is?" Damn, go George! "Yes… I'll hold." Hammond places his hand over the receiver. "Carter find anything?" 

"Yes, sir. Apparently the second gate is being used." 

George is outraged, of course. 

"And suddenly the president wasn't available?" Jack guesses. 

"Every time I call. He's tied up. It's like someone is orchestrating his schedule to keep us from speaking today." 

Yeah. "Got a someone in mind, sir?" 

"This is gonna sound paranoid, Colonel." Yes, good, give it to him. "Back when the SG program began, there was a philosophical skirmish about its mandate. Some people wanted to make sure that any and all discoveries were brought back regardless of considerations like interplanetary diplomacy." 

Uh huh. "Do you mind if I ask who these some people were?" 

George shakes his head. "The truth is I'm not sure _I_ ever fully knew who they were. I had a feeling that someone chose not to surface during the debate. Non-military-politicians pulling strings behind the scenes. No one said so exactly. Thirty years in the service, you develop an instinct about these things." 

The man is talking to him about instincts. Jack shakes his head. Every nerve in his body is singing. 

"General, is your gut telling you that this group, person, whatever, is responsible for stealing the Touchstone?" Because that's what his gut says. 

"I'm a long way from drawing that conclusion, but I'll be damned if I'll be blocked by some sycophant in the White House. I have other channels I can pursue, markers I can call in." 

He loves George. Loves him. 

"General, I know I don't have to tell you this, but whoever these dark side guys are… they can do some pretty nasty damage if they figure out how to work this thing." Jack's thinking back on all the assignations; Christ, all the out-and-out attacks…. 

"I know, Colonel. I know. Let me do some digging." 

Jack nods and lets himself out. 

It's not long before Carter comes up with a new location for the second gate. Nevada, of all places. 

"Well if the gate is there, it makes sense that the Touchstone has at least been there," Jack says. 

Daniel is just now catching up, that frown turning into a deadly stare. 

"You're going to love this, Colonel. Guess who just got himself reassigned to Nellis?" Hammond says. 

Jack interlaces his fingers. "Do tell." 

"Colonel Maybourne." 

Jack throws up his hands. "Oh, well, there's good news!" 

Daniel holds up his hand like he's in a classroom. "Nellis; that's the base we send the technology we bring back through the gate, right?" 

Hammond nods. Sometimes they all forget they have a civilian. "Yes. The Groom Lake Facility." 

"Area 51," Jack translates. 

Carter pulls up a weather report from the MALP on Madrona. Blizzards and eighty-mile-an-hour winds. They've got less than two days before that planet's crops are totally destroyed. 

"Permission to take a little trip to Nevada, sir?" Jack asks. 

George nods. "Okay. I'll call the commander at Nellis and get you cleared." 

Yeah, about that. "Uh… General… it's become pretty obvious that our own people are involved here. The government types, you know. How do you know who to trust?" Because at this point, Jack doesn't trust anyone outside of this own room. And even then… only so far. 

"We already have the necessary clearance level, sir," Carter reminds him. 

Ah. Hammond nods. "Colonel. I need some documents hand-delivered to the Groom Lake Facility." 

He likes the way George thinks. "Are those documents sensitive enough to warrant a three-man team with a Jaffa escort?" 

"Absolutely." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 p>

 

 

 

Daniel's a little nervous when they pull up to Area 51. He's seen _Indiana Jones_ about a million times and has always pictured the place to be full of giant, underground warehouses stuffed with boxes full of artifacts…. It's a little creepy to realize that's basically true, but the artifacts aren't necessarily from Earth.

They meet up with a Major Reynolds, who gushes at them with something akin to hero-worship and gives them a brief tour while they wait for Maybourne. 

"To your left is Medical Research. They're focusing on the potential cure for Alzheimer's that SG-5 brought back. The other side is Geology, Space Meteorology, and Artifacts Study. That's where they're poring over your notes on that Heliopolis place, Dr. Jackson. ‘The meaning of life stuff.' I love that." 

Daniel feels a twinge of regret. Meaning of life stuff. He carefully avoids looking at Jack. 

Major Reynolds stops at a door and punches in a code. Two guys in white lab coats walk through and open an inner door. Inside rests a death glider. Several people are tinkering away on it. 

"That's where we are studying those two Goa'uld death gliders you were in after you guys did your hero thing. Nice work by the way." Kid beams at Jack. 

Jack looks uncomfortable with the kid's praise. "Yeah… thanks." Clearly doesn't like remembering having to leave Daniel behind. Daniel thinks that after all this time, it's still sweet. 

"This way," Reynolds says, opening the door. "This is the Bioresearch Lab." 

"This where you're keeping the little green men?" Jack asks. 

"There are no alien life forms at Area 51." 

Yeah, right. There's a canned answer if ever Daniel's heard one. 

"Present company excluded of course," Jack says to Teal'c with a grin. The big guy bows. Daniel hides his mouth behind his hand. 

And there's the man of the hour. "Colonel O'Neill." 

Jack turns. Obvious disgust in his voice. "Hello, Maybourne." 

For some reason Daniel thinks of all those episodes of _Seinfeld_ with the ‘hello, Newman' gag. 

Colonel Maybourne… smiles…? "Teal'c, it's good to see you are well." 

Teal'c walks right up to him and _looms_. "In my culture, I would be well within my rights to dismember you." He then walks past Maybourne. 

Oh God, Daniel could just go on over there and kiss Teal'c. By the looks of things, so could Jack. Damn, that was classic. 

Maybourne looks a little uneasy. "Well, that's interesting." 

Jack bares his teeth. Like a feral dog. 

"Is there something I can do for you, Colonel O'Neill?" 

Jack shifts. "Yeah. We assume the Touchstone was brought here." 

"Excuse me?" Blink, blink. 

Oh, that man is just a worm. 

"Maybe you have a different name for it," Sam says. "The weather controller from Madrona… PX7-941." 

"It seems that someone has sent you on a fool's errand, Colonel. Nothing even remotely like that here." Now, Daniel isn't like Jack with the spidey-sense or whatever he calls it, but even _he_ can tell Maybourne is lying. 

"You are, however, aware of our mission," Teal'c presses. 

"I remember a reference to it, but correct me if I'm wrong – nothing came back from the survey." Maybourne swallows. 

"Not by our team." Jack glares. 

"Another SGC team?" 

Now Jack goes cold. "You tell me." 

Maybourne sighs. "If you're looking for specific answers, I'd ask that you be a little less cryptic with your questions." 

He can see Jack's close to blowing his top. "Fine, where's the damn Touchstone?" 

Daniel decides to jump in before Maybourne gets a bloody nose. "Has the second Stargate been activated?" 

"It's been under complete lockdown since its arrival here. It hasn't even been powered up," Maybourne says. 

Liar, liar, pants of fire.… Okay, he's been hanging out with Jack too much. 

"Do you mind if we have a look?" Sam asks sweetly. 

"I guarantee it's been dormant since you came through it." 

Jack's got that aura about him — that kick-ass vibe. "Then there's no harm in taking a look. Is there?" 

Maybourne turns to leave but Teal'c is standing right behind him. He almost runs into the Jaffa. Maybourne looks at Jack and then walks around Teal'c. They all smile at each other…. 

In a matter of seconds, a huge door opens to reveal a large wooden crate in the middle of a sparse room. 

Maybourne walks up to the crate and points to the Stargate, saying, "There it is. Happy now, Colonel?" 

"Carter." Jack nods his head in the direction of the room. They examine the gate. 

"Satisfied?" 

Jack is tenacious. "Not really. Just proves it got packed up real nice after it was used." 

"I assure you that gate has been in that crate since it was brought here from the Antarctic." Something about the way Maybourne says that sticks out in Daniel's mind. 

"Come on, Harry." Jack takes off his glasses. "You and I have been through this dance before." Damn, Jack is sexy when he does that. 

"Uh, Colonel. This gate is plastic," Sam says. 

"What?" Maybourne screeches. 

"Captain Carter is correct." Teal'c taps it. 

"That's ridiculous!" Maybourne walks up to the crate and palms the gate. 

Jack knocks on it. Daniel watches as Maybourne walks away from them, looking concerned. 

"That's the gate that was brought back from the Antarctic. It's been under lock and key since it got here." 

Jack looks at Daniel. Daniel shrugs. The man certainly seems sincere. 

"So… what the hell happened to the Stargate?" Jack bellows. 

Maybourne looks lost. "It's obviously been moved." 

Jack's on him now. "So it can be fired up without raising any eyebrows?" 

"That's highly speculative," Maybourne whines. 

"I don't know who's giving you orders, Maybourne, but they better come from where the air is _real_ thin." Jack is glittering and dangerous now, and Daniel is nervous, because that means this shit goes higher than Maybourne, getting into Spy Versus Spy territory now, and Daniel can't even imagine, it hurts his head to even think about it. 

"Is that a threat, Colonel?" 

Jack glares. "You tell me the punishment for losing a Stargate?" 

Maybourne betrays himself. "That presumes there was no authorization to move the Stargate." 

Daniel jumps on it. "So, who authorized it?" 

"That's classified." 

Jack edges closer. "We have the highest clearance." 

Maybourne gives them a conspiratorial grin. "Within the military, you do." 

Jack's astonished. Daniel can sense it. "Are you telling me... this is a _civilian_ operation?" 

Maybourne has said all he wants to and now speaks to the guards. "Gentlemen, Colonel O'Neill and his people need an escort back to their vehicle." 

Jack won't let it go. "Who's pulling the strings, Maybourne?" 

"Take a piece of advice, Jack. Let this one drop." 

The suggestion, or the use of his first name, Daniel isn't sure which, has Jack furious. " _Drop_ it?" 

"Please. Don't make these gentlemen have to get disrespectful." 

If looks could kill, Maybourne would be toast. Jack grabs his cap and they all leave. Doesn't say a word on the ride back to the mountain. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Eventually Carter comes up with the idea to use the to go to Madrona then do a quick one-eighty and return through the second gate on Earth by overpowering the one in the SGC.

Daniel comes up with the idea of using the MALP robot's GPS to get the exact position necessary to duplicate the previous conditions. Jack swears they could have been separated at birth. If they were… well… the same age… or raised in the same hemisphere… Oh, never mind. Maybe in some alternate universe. 

"Someone would have to accompany it to Madrona then put in the correct address on the dialing device," Teal'c says. 

"Uh… I would be that person," Jack says. It's his job; he's the leader. 

"I'll go too," Daniel says instantly. Jack has to wonder, is it because of Princess big-boobs La Moor? But no. Look at the look Daniel's giving him. It could break his chest. 

"You'll also need to bring the necessary equipment to modulate the power on the gate," Carter warns. 

"Let's do it," George says. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They run into some static on Madrona. La Moor and her doddering uncle don't believe they're setting up the MALP to try and help them. Eventually Daniel wins them over and they dial the gate.

Jack turns on the machine and walks over to Daniel. He pats the younger man on the shoulder a couple of times, so glad that Daniel came. Daniel presses on the center of the DHD, activating the gate. They travel on through and end up back in the control room. 

Unfortunately, the link from the MALP to the SGC computers is gone. The people on the other end must have destroyed it right away. 

"Did you get the coordinates?" Jack asks, breathless. 

"Didn't have time for a full triangulation, but we've got it narrowed down," Carter says. 

"How far down?" 

"Well… as far as we can tell, it's in southern Utah." 

Utah is not Nevada. "Oh, well. Southern Utah." 

Daniel smiles softly. "Well at least that's a start." 

George sighs. "I have one last marker I can call. Let me see what I can find out." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

George goes to talk with his source and comes back with information about an NID landing strip in the Black Mountains of southern Utah.

He gets a chopper ready for Jack and his team to leave immediately, but tells Jack under no conditions is he to open fire on the gate thieves. 

Jack frowns for a second. Hammond must have read his complete file. Stuff that he didn't even think existed on paper. 

"What if they fire on us, sir?" Carter asks. 

"Then you are to take cover. Do not return fire unless it's the only option remaining in order to defend yourselves." 

Jack does not like that one little bit. "General, I don't think that's gonna —" 

"Those are my orders, Colonel. We're already going way out on a limb on this one. I don't want my people mortally wounding another American who may just be following orders. Understood?" 

"Yes, sir." Jack throws a look to Carter – both understanding the military is what it is and all – they head out. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel's just not used to all this breaking and entering stuff. Jack's running around with his periscope thingy, peeking around corners and hopping fences and crap, and he's just trying not to wheeze too much.

They come to a warehouse with the second gate and naturally, a brief fire-fight with the black hats ensues. Jack tries his best to pin them down, but the thieves manage to dial out and escape. 

"Arrrgh!" Daniel growls in frustration. 

"What?" Jack's looking him over for injuries. 

"I missed the address." Stupid. He feels so stupid. 

Sam opens a small metal box and takes out the Touchstone. "At least we have this." 

In less than a few hours, they return the device to Madrona. Princess La Moor… very happy about this. She looks like she's going to kiss Jack. And Daniel suddenly wants to bitch-slap her, which is something Daniel has never felt for a woman before. Except for maybe Hathor…. 

But no, he's feeling… possessive of Jack. Which is very, very wrong. He puts it in The Box. 

Yeah, time to play diplomat. "We hope the faith and trust between our two worlds have been restored." 

"You have lived up to your promises," the princess says, bowing. "Let there always be peace between our worlds." Was Jack looking at her chest? She took off her coat and walked over to the door, opening it up to reveal a gorgeous sunset. But was Jack staring at her chest? 

Whatever. He can't wait to get home. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once they return, SG-1 sit around the table and discuss the odd mission.

"And everything should be back to normal within a few weeks. Both here and Madrona," Sam says. 

"That's simply why we think they'll be happy we return through the gate to do the studies we had hoped to do." Daniel sighs. 

"Any ideas what happened, sir?" Jack asks. 

Hammond looks a little overwhelmed. "To be honest, it's still something of a shell game. The investigation has been taken out of my hands." 

Jack sits up straighter. "By whom?" 

"I'm still trying to find that out," Hammond says despondently. 

"So we may never know who those men were who went through the gate." Jack shakes his head. 

"Not unless you can tell me where they went?" Hammond looks to him. 

Daniel feels really guilty, but he just couldn't make out the address in time. 

Hammond smiles indulgently. "Well, until then, all SG units are to be on watch for four NID guys wandering around on other planets." 

Jack shakes his head. "Great! So all this could happen again, huh?" 

Hammond grimaces. "No, Colonel. This time I was able to ensure that our Stargate will be the only one in use…." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next day they are back at the building at Nellis with the Stargate in the crate. Two   
men weld an iris in place. Major Reynolds and Colonel Maybourne are standing beside the crate.

Jack walks up to Maybourne, taking off his sunglasses. "This put you out of a job, Maybourne?" Daniel hears him say with… well, glee. 

"Oh! You'd be surprised. Strange things happen in high places, Colonel." 

"Don't I know it," Jack growls. 

"People get reassigned. So does property. Artifacts gets misplaced, orders change. Every day's a new day." 

Maybourne walks away, and Jack and Daniel can do nothing but watch him go. 

Daniel can see Jack chewing the inside of his cheek. Taps him on the shoulder, gestures they should head home. A moment for Jack to collect himself, shake his head at Daniel, and then they leave. 

Daniel doesn't say anything, but for the entire ride back, he leaves his elbow on top of Jack's and he knows that the slight touch makes a world of difference. 

They don't have much time outside of that though, because Daniel's packed up and ready to ship out with SG-6 for their next mission. 

~*~


	37. Metria de Tempus

**37\. Metria de Tempus**

 

 

 

 

 

**P3W-451**

Sunrise. A yellow star, similar to Earth's sun, orbits a white dwarf companion. Around the white dwarf flows a continual stream of matter, leeched from the yellow star. 

The white dwarf collapses and becomes a black hole, which begins to pull asteroids into its gravity well. Its orbit takes it extremely close to the planet. 

The planet where Major Boyd and his team are trapped, time slowing down, their images slow and then moving at a crawl through the MALP's transmission. 

For a second Jack's gut tightens and he thanks God Daniel is on P3X-808. Yes, he memorized the planet's code – it's _Daniel_ out there. Carter has them speed up the transmission and he recognizes Henry Boyd and urges Hammond to open the iris. 

But the wormhole abruptly fades out. 

"What happened?" George asks. 

He looks to Carter. 

"I don't know, sir," she says. 

Okay. Fine. Can't leave them behind though. "General, SG-1 would like the rescue mission." 

George holds up his hands. "Not yet, Colonel." 

He doesn't even think about what he's saying. "Hank would do the same for us." 

The general raises his eyebrows. "I know he would, if and _when_ I gave the order. In the meantime, I want a probe on the ramp and ready to go ASAP. Colonel, have units SG-1 and 3 geared up and standing by. In the event I authorize this mission, SG-3 will back you up." 

Jack jerks just a bit. "In the _event_ , sir?" 

"Let's see what pictures the probe sends back. Make the proper threat determination." 

Screw the threat, that's one of his men! "General —" 

George raises his voice. "You could gate into an ambush for all we know." 

"I recommended Major Boyd for this command," Jack explains, the guilt he's really not supposed to feel but never could quite squash altogether washes over him. "Now, if he's in trouble, I want to go in." 

"I'm aware of that, Colonel." 

Not gonna budge, huh? "Yes, sir." 

Teal'c is by his side. "Major Boyd is a capable warrior, O'Neill. You trained him well." 

Coming from anyone else, Jack would have shrugged it off, but Teal'c has a warrior's understanding of these things. "Yeah." 

The gate dials and is locked. The MALP heads up the ramp and goes through the wormhole. On the other side, it begins transmitting images back to the SGC. 

"I don't understand. It's just —" George breaks off. 

"Red, sir." Jack squints at the computer screen. 

"Are we receiving telemetry?" George looks to the technician. 

"Yes, sir," the man replies, "but at an even slower rate than before." 

Carter edges closer. "There's an image here. Input the video feed into the computer, but compensate for a longer light wavelength. Step it up in twenty mili-micron increments," she says. 

Jack blinks. Does Carter have a film degree he doesn't know about? 

"Captain?" Hammond sounds nervous now. 

"Sir, it's possible that the image we're receiving from the probe has red-shifted, distorted toward the infrared end of the spectrum…." 

What the hell is she saying? 

"Why?" George wonders. 

Jack mutters, "What the hell's going on, Hank?" 

The MALP gives them eleven frames of digital picture in just under six minutes. It's like time slowed down or something. 

"Perhaps a malfunction?" Teal'c asks. 

"No." Jack shakes his head. "The picture tells us everything we need to know. That team is in trouble, probably under attack. Permission to go in, sir?" 

"Negative, sir," Carter says. 

He snaps his head around. "What do you mean, 'negative?'" 

"I'm sorry, Colonel, with all due respect, but if I'm right, we can't help them." That sounds… rather ominous. "Now, the camera may still respond to commands. See if you can tilt it up and give us a wider angle. I think I know what Major Boyd seems so afraid of." 

The MALP camera tilts up to a blurry patch of sky that when digitally enhanced reveals a gaping slice of hell. 

"What am I looking at?" George asks. 

Jack swallows. He's studied enough to have a basic handle on the situation now. "That's a black hole, sir." 

Carter nods. "A newly formed one by the looks of it. P3W-451 was orbiting its companion star. The orbit's probably pulling them closer and closer." 

"Why don't they just gate out of there?" the general asks. 

Carter grimaces. "They're trying to, sir, but the closer you get to a black hole —" 

"— Time slows down," Jack finishes. 

Teal'c whispers, "It almost appears to stand still." 

"From our perspective, yes, but you have to remember that time is relative," Carter says. "As far as SG-10's concerned, only a few seconds have passed. They're still trying to save themselves." 

Jack's guts just clench involuntarily. God. 

"What will happen to them?" George asks. 

"Well, sir, the time dilation is a result of the intense gravity, which is directly proportional to their proximity —" 

Hammond gets annoyed. "Captain!" 

"Sorry, sir. Their bodies will be pulled apart by increasing tidal forces." 

God damn it to hell. Options, someone give him options! Where's – oh yeah, on a dig. 

"They did manage to activate the Stargate once," Teal'c says hopefully. 

"Yeah, but from their perspective, it couldn't have been open for more than a second," Carter informs them. 

"Is there nothing we can do to save them?" George asks. 

Jack hangs his head. "They've had it, sir." 

"You know that for a fact, Colonel?" 

George doesn't like the idea of giving up any more than he does. "No, sir. I don't. But have a look at Major Boyd's face. What does that say to you?" 

Everyone can see the dread there, eyes black with fear, staring into the MALP's camera. 

"Very well." George turns to the technician. "Disengage the Stargate." 

Carter doesn't follow that order right away. "Sir. By some fluke of Stargate technology, we are witnessing something that the laws of physics say we can't possibly witness." 

Oh Christ, that just pisses him off. Fucking scientists. "We are witnessing good men _dying_ in slow motion, Captain." 

She has the good sense to look crestfallen. "You're right." 

George nods. "Shut it down." 

But the gate does not disengage. 

Which, Jack is pretty sure, is a very bad thing. 

Hammond gets on the phone to the president but it doesn't work. Sam tries everything short of hitting the super-conductive interface with a wrench, but it won't shut down. They lose communication with anything above level twenty-four. 

After a quick chat to figure out a battle plan, Hammond goes up to the NORAD level on foot to try and get to a phone; Jack and Carter direct Teal'c and Siler to just yank the plug right out the Stargate, but that just earns the boys some nice third-degree burns. 

The gate begins to suck things towards it and Jack realizes – they're being pulled into a black hole. Not just them. Earth. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Paul is slightly nervous. He hasn't been in the field in a long time. Hopes there won't be a ring of sweat under his arms; this is one of his best uniform shirts. His lucky shirt.

This mission is too important to trust to anyone else; no one knows half as much about the Stargate program as he does. That's currently in communication, that is. 

Suddenly a man comes out of the elevator and up the steps; the men he's brought with him automatically raise their rifles. Paul recognizes him as General George Hammond and steps in front of the guns. 

"Hold your fire! It's the general!" he shouts. 

"What the hell's going on? Who are you?" Hammond bellows. 

"Major Davis, sir. I'm with the Office of the Joint Chiefs. If you'll come with me, please." 

Hammond checks out his insignia and starts walking. "What are these men doing in my facility?" 

Paul frowns. Doesn't Hammond know? "We were under the impression that there had been an alien incursion, sir. A Special Forces team had already been sent down before we understood what was going on. If it's all right with you, sir, I'd like to brief you on the way to your aircraft. Time is of the essence." 

Hammond stops in his tracks. "We've got an emergency situation, Major! I'm not going anywhere until I talk to the president!" 

Paul nods. Don't be intimidated; stay cool, he thinks. "He wants to talk to you personally, sir. Your aircraft is standing by on the tarmac. It is urgent that we leave immediately." 

The General looks him in the eye; Paul doesn't waver, no matter how much he's tempted to lower his gaze, and soon the man relents. "Lead the way." 

Once they reach the top, Paul tamps down on the urge to whip out his umbrella and shield the General from the light, evening rain. Too many Pentagon babysitting sessions. He ushers the older man into a van and they head toward the plane. 

"We were hoping that someone such as yourself would come back up and confirm our hypothesis," Paul says. It was apparently the wrong thing to say because the General glares, but Paul doesn't let it show that it affects him. 

"Which is?" 

"We now know that the SGC is experiencing what is called ‘time dilation.' Time is quite literally passing slower within the facility than it is topside." He waits for Hammond to take this in, but the man makes the leap pretty quickly. 

"That would explain the communications problem." 

He nods. "Yes, sir. We also know that there are only two things according to relativity that would cause this effect: velocities near the speed of light or extreme gravity." He peers at the general, wondering how much he'll understand. It's the Air Force, yes, but if it's anything like Washington, the higher the rank, the bigger the fool. 

"Approximately ten minutes ago, we established a wormhole to a planet at or very near the event horizon of a black hole," Hammond says. 

Yes. They figured. It's not like the mountain was moving at the speed of light. "Since time is more or less at a standstill on the other side, you've been unable to disengage the Stargate." Hammond throws him a surprised look. Paul clears his already clear throat. "That was our hypothesis, sir. Keep in mind we've had a few more hours than you have to think about this." 

Hammond grimaces. Paul knows he's anxious to get back to his people and he admires that. From what he's read, they're all good people. "They'll be conferencing you with the president aboard the aircraft, sir." 

The car pulls up. "Thank you, Major." 

How kind. Civility even in a situation like this. Paul smiles. "Good luck, sir." 

He watches the plane take off. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

The general should be topside by now if all went well. Shouldn't be long before this little matter is all cleared up. Jack is in the infirmary, checking on Teal'c and Siler.

Carter seems a tad concerned for Siler. He guesses they share a geek bond or something. Teal'c assures him he is fine, but Carter says Fraiser said he'll be out of commission for a while. Jack would blame himself, if there was time for regrets. 

Suddenly the entire complex rumbles. Which is less than exhilarating. Frankly, if he wants a mountain to rumble, he'll go to Disney World. "Carter?" 

"Gravity waves. Colonel, I assumed that the wormhole itself would insulate us from the black hole's gravitational field, but it seems that our space-time has begun to warp just like on P3W-451." 

Christ, he's never been so close to smacking someone under his command. Including Kawalski or Daniel. "Will you _stop_ that?" 

She presses her lips into a thin line. "We're in trouble, sir." 

"Thank you." He needs options. "Think of something." 

He leaves the infirmary, mind racing, trying to get two steps ahead of this one, because being torn apart by tidal waves wasn't on his list of things to do today, and not watching where he was going, he runs into Fraiser and an Air Force Special Operations team. 

"Colonel!" she cries out. 

He freezes. My what big guns they have. 

Flashlights, checking him over, and then "Clear!" the field leader says. He knows that voice. 

Jack squints. Black top. Black gloves. Buzz cut and a slanted jaw. "Cromwell?" 

"You know this guy?" Fraiser asks. 

"Oh, yeah. Go. Go on," he urges Janet back to the infirmary and then looks Cromwell straight in the eye. "It's been a while." 

The other man's voice is clipped. "Yeah. Five hours. Got everybody pretty worried upstairs. Where's the general?" 

Huh? "What's the five hours?" 

"That's how long this facility's been out of contact with the outside world. Pentagon suspected alien hostiles." 

Oh that's rich. "And they sent _you_?" Christ, this is gonna be a long day…. Literally. 

Jack explains the situation to Cromwell, who doesn't quite get it. Not the brightest crayon in the box, but who is he to throw stones? 

Carter walks in, which saves Jack from having to talk anymore about forces and waves and particles and shit he's never really understood. "Captain Carter, Colonel Cromwell. He's come to rescue us. I wouldn't count on it." Glares at the man. Jack forgot how much he hated him. 

Cromwell doesn't rise to the bait. "Pentagon was concerned you were under alien attack when we lost contact." 

"How long ago was that?" Carter asks. 

"A little over five hours ago. Why?" 

She looks down at her wrist. "My watch reads thirteen-thirty hours. What does yours say?" 

"Running slow, Captain. It's almost nineteen-hundred." 

Carter looks pissed. "Damn it. Colonel, I have to get off this level." 

Yeah, okay, if Carter's gonna swear about it, then he's convinced she has to get off this level, even if he hasn't a damned clue why. Save the _giant black hole_ on the other side of their gate, naturally. 

This is going to give him a headache, he can see it coming. He sighs. 

Carter gives him a sigh of her own. "Sir, for some reason, the warping of our space-time seems to be in advance of the gravitational field rather than as a result of it. It's probably a lensing effect generated by the Stargate itself, but I can't be sure." 

Jack blinks. 

"Don't even pretend you understood that," Cromwell says. 

Bastard. Wishes Daniel was there to translate. 

"The point is, sirs," she says somewhat snidely, "that time is passing more slowly down here than it is outside the mountain." 

"Time is time," the other man says. 

Oh no no no, dear friend. Not for them, it isn't. That would be just _too_ simple. 

Carter shakes her head. "No, sir. Not according to relativity. Now with the intense gravity field of something like a black hole, time actually slows down." 

Cromwell frowns. "We're not in a black hole." 

Okay, he hates this man. He is _fully justified_ in hating this man. 

"Not yet," Jack clarifies to the meat-head. 

"But we are connected to its gravitational field through the Stargate and it's expanding in this direction, like a bubble slowly expanding outward. That's why I have to leave, sir. I have to contact the Pentagon and try to find a solution before the gravity field extends beyond the gate room." Carter bites her lip. Okay. Smart? It's kinda sexy. 

Yes, beyond the gate room would be bad. He nods, to show Carter he's at least gotten that far with her. 

And just then, General Hammond walks in. He looks… different. "I just came from there myself, Captain. Colonel Cromwell, I presume." 

Cromwell snaps off a salute. "General Hammond." 

Hold the phone. Did George just say —"You just came back from Washington, sir?" 

George nods. "There and back again. After someone upstairs managed to explain what was going on to me, we called an all-night session with the president and Joint Chiefs. I've been gone nearly eighteen hours." 

Jack looks around. "I thought you were on the phone." 

Carter nibbles her lower lip. It's kinda cute. What? He's focused. "It means the time dilation is getting worse as the field expands." 

George nods. "That's the consensus. We set up a command post directly above, right on top of the mountain to monitor the expansion." 

"I have to get up there," Carter insists. 

George sighs. "The experts we consulted believe we're going to have to commence an auto destruct sequence to destroy the Stargate itself." 

Holy shit. "Sweet." Wait…. Daniel's out there…. So are other teams, other men. Shit. Fuck. 

"They assure me that the gravity field now present around the gate will help contain the blast within the mountain and pose no threat to the civilian population," George says, but Jack isn't really listening. 

"With all due respect, sir. I don't think so," Carter interrupts. 

"If we don't try, we lose the planet right through that." George points to the gate. 

"We may well succeed in destroying the base, sir, but leave the gate and the wormhole intact. What happens to the planet then?" Carter asks. She has a good point. 

George sighs. "Orders have been given at the highest levels, Captain. It is our duty to carry out those orders." 

Jack is torn. Orders are orders, that's been drilled into him practically since the day of his birth. But when the orders are just plain _wrong_ … he doesn't want to do that anymore. He's a different man now. 

_I'm sure you thought you were doing the right thing._

"But, sir —" Carter tries. 

"The decision's been made, Captain. Don't forget those people up there've been working on this a lot longer than you have. It's what they came up with." 

"Yes, sir." Carter swallows thickly. 

Hammond nods, clearly depressed himself. "I'm ordering the complete evacuation of the SGC, effective as of right now. I'll need two volunteers to stay behind in order to give our personnel a head start." 

That's his cue. "I'll stay, sir." 

Cromwell pipes up. "Me too, sir." 

No fucking way. "Anyone else?" But no one says a damn thing. 

"Looks like you're stuck with me, Jack." Cromwell smiles without any mirth. 

"Done!" George says. Perhaps a tad too quickly. Granted, Jack is second in command of the base and leader of the first team, but… George didn't have to agree to his suicide mission _quite_ so easily, did he? "It takes two officers to initiate the countdown." The general goes over to the intercom and evacuates the base. "Wait five minutes, then start the countdown. Good luck." 

Ah. George doesn't realize it's a suicide mission. Jack has a pretty good idea that when he finally sets the autodestruct, there won't be enough time, that being so relative and all, to get to the top and to safety. Strangely he doesn't mind. Because Daniel's on the other side of the gate…. 

"Make sure you give yourself enough time to get out, sir," Carter says. 

"Time… right." In his mind, there's only room for one word – Daniel. Should have told him. Should have pressed him up against that door and made the most of it.… 

"Who's this?" Cromwell asks, looking at the MALP footage. 

Jack grimaces. "Henry Boyd. Good officer. Smart. Kinda reminds me of Carter a little." He stops, fills his lungs with air so he can get the next part out. "This was their first mission as a team." 

How many has he sent out that never came back? How many voices, just on the edge of his hearing? Kawalski for one. Boyd. Countless others. 

"He looks scared to death," Cromwell notes. 

"He's on a planet that's about to be swallowed by a _black hole_ … and he _knows_ it." 

They exchange a heavy look. Absolutely the last thing he wants from this man is anything that looks like pity. 

Jack's had enough waiting around. By now the general, Teal'c, and Carter are probably topside and a whole day has gone by or something. "Let's get set up. Computer needs your authorization code before it'll accept the command. Go ahead and enter it." 

Cromwell moves, muttering under his breath, "Maybe now you know how it feels." 

Jack pretends not to hear him. "You done?" 

Codes typed. "Roger that." 

"When the time comes, hit the enter key on my mark and then run like hell." Another glance. They both know they're toast. 

"Got it." At least Cromwell is going to face this like a man. 

"Two minutes," he says, trying not to think too much about Daniel. Or anything. 

Jack enters his final codes into the computer and straightens up. He glances at the monitor, focuses on Major Boyd's face. He then walks over to a console and glances at his watch. He's killing another one of his men, the moment he does this. 

"One minute." 

Cromwell licks his lips. "Maybe the last one…. We used to be friends, Jack." 

No-Mercy Pile, meet Cromwell. "Yep." 

"I was sick to my _stomach_ when I found out you were still alive. I wanted to go back for you." 

Sorry doesn't cut it…. Damn it, Daniel. "Why don't we just do this and get the hell out of here, all right?" 

But no, the man's gotta spill his guts, make a confession and all that. "Someone dropped a dime on the incursion. You got hit; you went down. I made a judgment call to save the rest of the team." 

Fuck that. "And I _saw_ you take off. And then I saw four months of my life disappear in some stinking Iraqi prison." 

_You cry like a woman._

Lick it up. American dog. 

You like it, don't you? 

"I thought you were dead!" 

"You thought _wrong_!" Jack bellows. "What do you want? You want me to forgive you, is that it?" 

Cromwell looks abashed. "Yeah, I guess I do." 

Eat shit and die. "Well, that's tough. What happened to nobody gets left behind?" 

Cromwell looks to Boyd. "Well, what about him?" 

Jack stiffens. "That's an entirely different scenario." 

"That is the exact same damn thing, Jack." 

Don't call him by his first name! He opens his mouth when suddenly — 

The glass from the control room windows shatters and is drawn toward the Stargate. Jack closes his eyes for a moment then looks around. This place is falling apart. 

And then? Siler and Carter walk into the control room. 

"Don't activate the autodestruct, sir. It won't work. I have another idea," she says. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And that's how he finds himself at the end of a rope, being lowered toward the gate, about to deliver a bomb right through the wormhole. Teal'c comes down, looking all better, and informs them it's been several days.

"Cannot the bomb be detonated by remote?" Teal'c asks, worried for him. The gate is like a giant toilet bowl from hell that's going to flush them all down like turds. 

Okay. He cannot be held responsible for what his brain comes up with in situations like this. 

"It has to be set a certain distance from the gate and at an exact angle. The timer can't be set until they're into position because of the variance in time dilation," Carter says, like it's the most natural thing in the world. 

Cromwell blinks. "Man, she is —" 

"Way smarter than we are. I know," he agrees. It _is_ kinda sexy, he admits. In a Sam Carter way. 

They slide down the line toward the gate. Blisters on his hands. 

"Just like old times, huh, Jack?" 

What the fuck does he think he's doing skipping down memory lane at a time like this? "Oh yeah. Black holes; wormholes. Just like old times." 

The force exerted on them gets tedious fast. He can barely move. More glass from the control room windows shatters and heads toward them. Jack can hear Carter's echo warn them as shards of glass whiz around them and lodge into Cromwell's line. 

"Are you all right?" the man says. 

"This is close enough! Set the timer! Twenty seconds!" Jack yells over the whir. 

Cromwell hesitates. "We won't make it out." 

Daniel…. It'll be quick. "Twenty seconds." 

"Set!" 

"Do it!" 

But just then the iris gives way and they almost get drawn into the black hole. If not for his quick reflexes, Cromwell definitely would have gotten sucked in — 

"I got you!" Jack shouts, gripping the man's wrist for all he's worth. 

"Get up there and arm that damn bomb!" 

"I've got you! Just climb!" he orders. 

"Just arm the damn bomb!" 

"Why?" Jack asks stupidly. 

As Jack struggles to hold him, Cromwell looks directly into his eyes, a calm and peaceful expression on his face. They both know that if Jack continues to hold onto him, Cromwell will end up taking both of them into the black hole. But Jack isn't going to let go willingly. 

The sweat makes Jack's palms slippery, and he strains, but it's no use. When Jack's grip fails, Cromwell doesn't try to latch onto him. He falls into the wormhole without so much as a sound. 

Shit. Shit. He just watched that man die. One of his men. Torn apart. No time. No time. Got to set the bomb. Set the bomb. Set the bomb. 

Teal'c and Siler pull him up. The forces on him are too great, he loses consciousness, last thought hoping that the bomb will just wipe it all away…. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he wakes up, he's in the infirmary. Daniel is there, smiling at him. He slowly opens his eyes and takes in Daniel's shiny brownish-blonde hair, the pink lips, the blue eyes.

"Hey, Jack. Did I miss anything?" 

Is this… heaven? No, the infirmary is definitely not heaven. "I made it?" 

George chuckles. "We all made it, thanks to you and Captain Carter." 

Can't speak yet. Light too bright, mouth too dry…. "How?" 

"Teal'c managed to pull you far enough away from the bomb before it went off," Carter explains. 

Jack blinks at the big guy. "Thanks." 

"You are welcome," the Jaffa says. 

"The majority of the blast energy went right where it was supposed to. The wormhole jumped to P2A-270 and once it did that, we shut it off." Carter just sounds so damn plucky about it. She didn't have to watch Cromwell like he did. She didn't have to — 

He sighs. No use taking it out on Sam. "Good thinking, Captain." 

"Thank you, sir." 

"A new trinium-strengthened iris is being installed right now. We should be back in business in no time," George says. 

"What day is it?" Jack asks no one in particular. Doesn't really matter. His head. Little gnomes, pounding away in there. He's not going anywhere for a bit. 

Daniel exchanges a look with Carter. Jack can see the black circles under the man's eyes – he hasn't been sleeping. "Well, this might be a little difficult to accept, but since you reported for duty yesterday, two weeks have actually gone by." 

"Two weeks?" Fuck. "Think I'll sleep in." 

"You do that," George says. 

He can feel Daniel's warm hand covering his own, and then he's out of it. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

It was good to be back home. He was out of it for a good day or two and then Fraiser packed him on up for some R-and-R, at Daniel's insistence.

Now the younger man went through Jack's refrigerator, throwing out old stuff with a bit more force than absolutely necessary. Thump. Thump. Thwack. Thump. 

"Do you have something against the rotten vegetables, Daniel, or are you just practicing your hoop shots?" Jack asked quietly, resting his hip against the counter. 

Every line in Daniel's body was tense and taut. 

"Two weeks," Daniel says, tossing out a half-eaten burger that Jack had wrapped up a night — no, two weeks ago…. 

"Yeah. But some things will keep that long; don't throw me out of house and home here." 

Daniel slid the milk right out off the shelf and into the trashcan without so much as a glance in his direction. "Two weeks, Jonathan." 

Did… did Daniel just use his Christian name? Like his _mother_ used to do? "Daniel, I can buy more food —" 

Daniel slammed the door so hard the entire fridge shook. "I was on a goddamn dig a galaxy away for _two weeks_ with no way to contact the SGC. No way of knowing how to get back; the second gate welded shut, the beta site having all of zero Intel, Jack." 

Ah, so that's what this was about. 

"I sat there in that mud hole, for two weeks, wondering if another of Apophis' ships had come and taken out the SGC. The Earth! Wondering if there'd been an invasion. A coup. If we just got shut down. If we were left —" 

"I would _never_ leave you beh —" 

"You may not always have the _choice_!" Daniel screamed. He was trembling. Shaking. 

Jack stepped up to him and pulled him close. Just wrapped his sore arms around the young man; let Daniel cling. God, he'd missed touching Daniel. Missed being able to just twine around Daniel and touch and smell and feel and breathe the man in. 

"You —" Daniel's voice sounded so small. "You coulda got sucked in that thing… torn apart." 

"Would have been quick." 

"The bomb, you coulda —" 

"Would have been even quicker." 

Daniel sobbed in the back of his throat. "I can't do this. I can't do this every day. I just wanted a normal life with a quiet little site somewhere, my wife, maybe the kid.… I wanted to publish some papers. Do some traveling. I didn't sign up for this." 

He let Daniel go. Sighed, because he knew this had been a long time coming. Let Daniel have the reins, and here they were. Couldn't look him in the eye. "Guess your life's been pretty complicated." 

Daniel nodded. 

"Maybe I can simplify it for you." Jack straightened up and walked out of the kitchen. He stared out the window. "I've been… hoping…." 

Silence. Then, "I know." 

"It's not fair. Not to me. Not to you." 

"I know." Daniel stood behind him. 

"So it's over. Really over? Done." 

"Yeah." 

He turned around. "Say to my face," he whispered harshly. 

Trembling again. Daniel lunged forward and kissed him. 

God, it was like water after forty days wandering the desert. Grabbed Daniel's head up in both hands, angled his mouth, and just dove in. The best kiss ever. Fucked into the younger man's mouth with his tongue; held nothing back. Daniel whimpered and let him have his way and Jack just kissed him for as long as he could before breaking for air. 

Then — 

"It's over," Daniel said, looking him right in the eye. 

Watched as Daniel pulled back. Turned around. Slowly walked toward the door. 

_Over._

He advanced on the younger man, slammed a palm the door before Daniel could reach for the knob. Daniel turned around to see those wide, blue eyes. 

Jack smashed him up against the wall and kissed him hard. Slid his whole body and up and down against Daniel. Sucked on his tongue. Made him moan and pant. Then stopped. "Let me know when you get through all the bullshit, Daniel. Let me know when you're ready to stop wasting time?" 

Opened the door, gently pushed Daniel out, closed it. 

There. Daniel was a smart kid. Spoke twenty-odd languages. Let him translate that. 

~*~


	38. Quintus Gens

**38\. Quintus Gens**

 

 

 

 

 

The next few days Daniel just buried everything. Dug a hole six feet deep and buried it. The confusion. The hurt. The _ache_ for Jack. The guilt over Sha're.

He read. He wrote. He translated. He catalogued. He even, and of this he was particularly proud, nodded to Jack in the halls and sat down with the team in the commissary and made _small talk_. 

Jack, for his part, acted like nothing had happened. Ever. As if he had never so much as seen Daniel naked; as if he'd never _wanted_ to see Daniel naked. 

It was so second grade. 

It drove Daniel nuts. Deep down, he wanted to be wanted. He wanted Jack to go just insane for him, which was unfair, considering Jack couldn't have him. He wanted Sha're, because he could forget Jack when he was with her. He wanted Jack, because he forgot _everything_ when he was with Jack. 

They were becoming estranged and it hurt. Like being separated from a twin or something. 

He looked down into his coffee, pursed his lips at the brown ring that the bottom of the cup made on his Norse rune printouts, and sulked. 

"Must be dire," a soft female voice said. 

He looked up. "Janet?" 

She shrugged. "Mind if I join you, Dr. Jackson?" 

The commissary was empty this time of night, most of the teams having gone home or off-world. "Sure." He gathered up his papers so she had room for her tray. "What are you doing here this late?" 

"Oh. SG-5 all have fevers and inner-ear issues. Had to make sure it wasn't, you know, a case of alien brain snatchers or something." 

Daniel smiled. "Alien brain snatchers." Sounded like something Jack would say. 

"So what are you doing here, Dr. Jackson?" 

"Just Daniel, please." He pushed up his glasses. "Um… I do the same thing here or at home, it's just here I've got the database…." 

"All that work is going to give you hypertension." Janet started in on her tomato soup and grilled cheese. It smelled pretty good. For commissary food. 

"Everyone needs a hobby." Damn, now he sounded like Jack. Jack, Jack, Jack, everything always had to be about Jack. "How's Cassie?" 

A bright smile. "Great. Loves school. Really likes art." 

Daniel nodded. He had some of her pictures in his office. "That's good." 

"So what's wrong with you and the colonel?" 

He blinked. "Huh?" 

Janet swallowed. "What's going on?" 

"What's going on, what?" They hadn't had so much as a mild debate in days. 

"You haven't argued over anything in a week." Janet raised an eyebrow. "In fact, you've gone out of your way to be… nice…. So, Sam and I figured something's up." 

Did they really fight that much? "Jack and I don't fight all the time." 

Janet looked at him like he was coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs. "Please. It's how you _relate_." 

Yeah, okay. Fighting or fucking, that was them. Bickering or touching. Foreplay. Daniel sighed and shook his head. "It's nothing. I've just been… distracted lately." 

"Oh, yeah?" Janet said, not pressing. But it was clear she wanted to hear more. 

Daniel glanced around. How much could he tell her? It's not like he could out either of them in the military, but she was a medical doctor. She wasn't stupid. 

And he liked her. She was someone he could trust, he was pretty sure. 

"Um. Yeah. You ever… you ever get stuck between a rock and a hard place?" 

"Oh, honey," Janet said, snickering. She handed him half of her grilled cheese. "You're dropping weight. Eat and tell me all about it." 

Wow. It was like having a mom. Between her and Jack, he should just get a highchair. Sighed. Still. He liked her. No one ever came up to the great Dr. Daniel Jackson and just struck up a conversation. No one except Jack. 

He nibbled the sandwich — it was good — and swallowed. "Well. There's… well, you know about my wife.…" This was painful territory and he didn't really want to get into it. 

Janet nodded solemnly. 

"And work is stressful enough, without trying to track down where she might be." 

Nodded again, poured some of her milk into an empty glass and gave him half. 

"And… there's… sorta… someone that I like. On top of that." 

Janet stopped chewing. "Like as in like-like?" 

He frowned. "Yeah. As in, attracted." Guilt, in cold, salty waves. Stand next to Daniel and hear the ocean. 

Janet leaned forward. "You know anything you tell me would be in the strictest confidence, Daniel. I'm not just your doctor, I could be a friend." 

Very kind eyes. He trusted her. But Jack wouldn't have and this was Jack's secret too. 

"Yeah. Erm. It's not… I can't really —" 

She dismissed it with a wave. "That's fine, honey." Janet kept eating. Looked at him piercingly. "So, you've got man trouble," she whispered. 

He choked on his milk. "Wha —" He didn't actually come out and _say_ it was a man. 

Janet got up to pat him on the back, offered him a napkin, and then sat back down and just smiled at him. "Daniel. How many times have I examined you in the past year? You think you're the only one on base with… man trouble? Please. If I had a nickel.… Oh, don't look so upset. Like I said, I'm your doctor and a friend." 

Well at least she wasn't homophobic or about to throw the book at him. Wait, she couldn't because he was a civilian. But Jack…. He felt seasick. If Jack ever found out about this — "It's not… anyone you know." 

That had her confused for a moment. 

"No one on base or anything." Was he blushing? He was such a crappy liar. 

"Mm." Janet finished off her soup. "So, you've been in a bit of a bind lately, between your wife and this… hard place." 

He nodded, feeling more depressed than ever. It was out now. No denying it. Someone else in the world knew and that made it real. "I am such a bastard." 

Janet sighed. "Daniel, I don't know you very well, but what I _do_ know of you, I like. You are not a bastard. You are just about the kindest and sweetest guy here." She smiled. "This person must mean a great deal to you, if you would even consider him in the same boat with your wife." 

Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose. Migraine coming. Janet already knew. "I guess you could say he's my best friend." 

It didn't really register on her face, but she absorbed the information like a sponge. "I see." Squeezed his hand. "If he's your best friend then you'll work it out." 

He sighed. "Not really so sure about that." 

"No. Daniel. Listen to me. He cares for you." 

Daniel looked up at her sharply. 

Janet looked a little panicked. "I… I would imagine…. Who doesn't?" Now she fiddled with the buttons of her lab coat. 

"I can't keep cheating on my wife." He didn't deserve Sha're.… 

She stopped pussyfooting around. "You can't keep stringing your best friend along, either." 

He looked down for a long time, poured the rest of the milk in his black coffee, and watched the clouds puff and dissipate. "I don't know what to do." 

"Have you tried talking?" 

Shot her a knowing look. "He's not much for conversation." 

"Well, there are other ways to communicate.…" Was that a lecherous look in her eye? Did she take this all as a joke? 

"Janet." 

"Daniel." She packed up her tray. "Sorry, have to go look at SG-5's lab results in a minute. Listen…. Maybe a break is in order. Maybe you just need to figure out a new way of talking to each other. I'm confident you'll find the right words and get things back on track." 

He wasn't convinced. "Yeah." 

She got up, took up her tray. "Or you could just keep being nice to each other until one of you breaks." She _winked_ and walked away. 

Daniel put his head in his hands. "Jack is gonna _kill_ me," he said to the coffee. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack knows that Daniel has been working on this presentation for weeks. He knows because Carter's told him, not because he's really had an in-depth conversation with Daniel in a while. Not since Jack kissed him and dumped his ass out on the front porch.

He expected Daniel to be back in a day or two, contrite, wanting to talk, giving Jack an opportunity to show him how their attraction couldn't be denied. But Daniel's spent all of his time working, meditating with Teal'c, or – and this makes Jack shudder deep down in places he doesn't like to think about – hanging out with Doc Fraiser. 

Fraiser is a pretty enough woman. Short and feisty and he likes her, even if she does stick things where no woman should stick things. 

So he wonders if maybe Daniel's got a little infatuation thing going on with her. And then he wonders if that was maybe what had happened with _them_. But Daniel never struck him as that fickle and Jack had a pretty good idea that what they'd had was born of extremely unique circumstances. 

Plus, Fraiser had her eye on Carter. Ever since Cassie. He was pretty sure of this – he's observant – and the mere thought has fueled many a little private fantasy that no one ever need know about. 

But Carter is clueless and Fraiser isn't saying anything any time soon; Daniel isn't clueless but won't give in any time soon, and in the meantime, Jack isn't getting any, which makes listening to Daniel's presentation a bit of an extra chore…. 

The younger man pulls up a slide of four alien languages on the projector. "On the planet where we found Ernest Littlefield, PB2-908, we also found a repository of information." 

Yes. Which Daniel had been utterly reluctant to leave and Jack had had to literally pull him back to the gate. "Meaning of life sorta stuff." He smiles at Daniel. Hey, he can be charming. 

Daniel nods. "Yes, based on the four distinct alien languages inscribed on the wall we concluded it was some sort of meeting place, where these four races would —" 

George interrupts, "We all reread the mission report, Dr. Jackson." 

Oh, George, George, George. Ought to know better by now, when one of the wonder twins gets excited out something, it's all fancy-schmancy words at a zillion miles a minute and _none_ of it makes any sense and it's best to just agree to their requests and back away slowly. 

"Okay, right," Daniel says, chastened, "well, two days ago the probe sent this image from P3R-272. There's a close-up on a circle of symbols…. Now if you look closely you'll see that the symbols match one of the inscriptions from the meeting place on Ernest's planet…." 

Everyone just kinda stares. Jack's beginning to wonder if he turned the coffee pot off this morning, then he realizes he doesn't really drink coffee, and since Daniel isn't sleeping with him anymore, he's moved back over to tea. 

"So you realize what this means?" Daniel looks at him expectantly. 

George asks, "You know what this circle of symbols says?" 

Daniel smiles in that shy way that makes Jack's nuts. "No, I don't even know what it _sounds_ like, but based on the Norse rune at the bottom of this inscription, I'm positive that one of the four races in the alliance is Thor's race, the Asgard. Obviously that would make the aliens that belong to this race their allies." He puffs up, a bit proud at his discovery. 

Jack doesn't have the heart to snipe at his victory, even though he's more than a little frustrated with Daniel at the moment. 

"I do believe this world is worth exploring, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c says. Which is just shocking, really, Teal'c backing Daniel up like that. Totally out of left field. 

He nods to George. It _is_ worth exploring and it will make Daniel happy. And Jack can be a smooth, charming son of a bitch when he wants to be. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

The Stargate leads them to an empty room so non-descript that trying to describe it would be a total waste of time. At first Daniel thinks it's a temple, but there are no exits and no obvious clues as to what it's used for.

"Very strange," Sam says. "Breathable air, moderate temperature, but where's the life support coming from?" 

Jack pounds on the walls. "Walls are solid." 

"As the probe indicated, there appears to be no exit." Teal'c looks around. 

Jack huffs. "Well, this was an intergalactic waste of time." 

Damn it. They haven't been here a full thirty seconds before Jack's ready to give up, and Daniel can't figure out if it's because of him, or because of the confined space and Jack's obvious issue with being trapped. 

"Well, wait a minute, sir; where's the power for the lights coming from? What's the point of this place?" Sam asks. He's very grateful to have her on his side. 

Daniel clears his throat. "Hello? Hello! I'm Daniel Jackson; we're peaceful explorers from the planet Earth." 

Jack looks at Daniel as if he's mad. 

He shrugs. "It was worth a try." 

The older man crosses his arms and Daniel can see the father in that pose. Is Jack going to send him to bed without dinner? Because he hasn't seen much of his bed or food lately, so, good luck. 

"Daniel, how long you figure we ought to hang out here and scratch our cosmic heads?" 

Sighs. Jack can be such a bastard sometimes. "Well, we can't just give up." This place is the closest connection they've got to Heliopolis. 

"Why not? Let's go home," Jack says, walking through a circle of writing on the floor. From an invisible mount on the wall opposite them, a strange alien device suddenly appears. Jack stops in his tracks. "Okay, that's something." 

Teal'c walks up to the device and looks into it. 

Jack jumps to stand by the Jaffa. "Watch yourself there, Teal'c." 

Ooh! Ooh! Maybe it's more stuff like what Ernest found. "What do you see?" 

Teal'c keeps staring. "Blackness, filled with colored lights." What, like a Lite Brite? 

The Jaffa walks away from the device and Jack looks into it. Suddenly it changes shape and Jack backs off slightly. 

Daniel frowns. It's interactive? 

"Whoa!" The older man looks again, putting his hands on either side of the wall and looking positively enraptured. 

The device morphs again and grabs Jack's head, forcing him to look through it. It's like steel fingers are interlacing behind Jack's head. There's a buzzing sound. Jack starts thrashing, Daniel's heart leaps in his throat — 

Moments later it releases Jack and he drops to the floor. 

"Colonel!" Sam shouts. 

Daniel rushes up to him. "Jack, can you hear me?" Oh God, oh God, why does this shit always happen to them? 

Sam feels Jack's neck. "His pulse is racing. Daniel, dial the gate." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

nbsp;

 

 

Back in the infirmary, Janet checks Jack over thoroughly.

"Pupils are back to normal," she says. "Pulse is fine. You feel okay?" 

Jack shrugs, hands behind his head. "Great, don't remember a thing." 

Sam glances around. "You were catatonic for about an hour after that thing released your head." 

" _Physically_ I can't find anything wrong with you," Janet says. Daniel notes the emphasis and forces the smirk off his face. 

"Well, okey-dokey." Jack swings off of the bed and heads out. 

He's acting a little odd…. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Later in the briefing room, they're discussing the incident while Jack scribbles all over his note pad. Daniel notices the way Jack sticks out his tongue in rapt concentration, and for once, he's sure Jack isn't doing it to call attention to himself – he's actually engrossed.

"So what caused this device to appear?" Hammond asks. 

Daniel shakes his head. "We're not sure." 

Teal'c speaks up. "Colonel O'Neill passed through the circle on the floor just before the device appeared. I was the first to look into it." 

George leans forward. "What did you see?" 

"Lights, he saw lights," Jack says impatiently. "That's what he said he saw, lights. We done?" 

O…kay… 

George looks a little taken aback. "Not exactly. Why didn't the device react to Teal'c the same way as it did to you?" 

"I don't know." Jack looks to Daniel and Teal'c. 

"Perhaps because I am a Jaffa." 

Sam nods. "We've seen alien technologies that have been sensitive to the presence of a Goa'uld before, like Thor's Hammer." 

Jack looks antsy. "Teal'c looked, I looked, it grabbed my head, I passed out, I came to, we're here, we're home. Can we go?" 

Daniel exchanges a look with Sam. Why is Jack acting like a crack-baby? 

"Sir, are you okay?" Sam asks with far more diplomacy than Daniel might have applied. 

Jack seems surprised. "I'm fine, just fine.... A little tired maybe." 

Uh huh. In the ‘twitching and tapping and barely-contained energy' sense of tired. 

"Colonel, are you sure you're okay?" Hammond checks again. 

Jack gives a half-grin. "I am absolutely fine. There is nothing cruvas with me." 

Ding ding ding. Daniel sits up straight. Everyone stares at Jack. 

"What?" the older man asks, freaked. 

"You just said there's nothing ‘cruvas' with you," Daniel explains. 

"I did not." 

"Yes, you did." 

"No, I didn't." 

"Yes, you did." 

"Didn't." 

"Did." 

"Didn't." 

This is ridiculous. "Did." 

" _Cruvas_! What is _that_?" 

He was hoping Jack might know. He hopes Jack hasn't gone round the bend. "I don't know. Um... well, I'm guessing in the context of what you're saying… you were trying to say that there's nothing _wrong_ with you." 

Jack just frowns. He's so… distant.… Distracted. 

"Why don't you take some time to relax, Colonel," Hammond says. "You're dismissed, but do me a favor and stay on the base." 

Jack tears off the sheet of paper on which he's been drawing and leaves the room. 

Hammond looks at them. "Keep an eye on him." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack is bored. Hates hanging around the base; wants to go home, cook something, fall asleep in front of the TV. No, scratch that. He's had enough lightshows for one day. He wants to go home, eat, and read a good book. The kind that doesn't make him think of long-haired archeologists and ancient rune-reading little gray men.

So here he is, in the gym, teaching Teal'c how to box. 

"What is the reason for these padded gloves, O'Neill?" 

Hm, isn't that obvious? "So we don't hurt each other." The Jaffa raises an eyebrow. "I'll be honest with you, Teal'c; it's so you don't hurt me." 

"If our purpose is to not cause each other harm, why then are we doing battle?" 

Christ. Please, don't make him talk. He's been hanging out with Daniel too long. "What can I tell ya? It's boxing. It's fun. Come on." Jack starts dancing around. Teal'c stands still and watches him as if he's mad. 

"Come on, Teal'c, you've gotta move around a little bit, you've gotta dance." 

The man is a mountain. Immovable. "I do not understand, O'Neill. Are we preparing to dance or to do battle?" 

For cryin' out loud. "Teal'c, if you don't move around you're a sitting duck —" Okay, that might not make sense to the Jaffa. "You're a target." Jack taps the big fella on the chest. "Huh, like that." 

Teal'c doesn't move. Jack stops dancing. "I'm sorry; are you all right?" 

The man is nonplussed. "I am fine." 

"Well, that's why you've gotta move —" 

Teal'c hits Jack really hard. He goes down like a ton of bricks. 

"How was that, O'Neill?" 

Ow fucking _ow_. "That's good, that's good." He stands up, a generous description at best, and says, "Er, the thing about keeping your hands up... is my nose bleeding?" It feels like it's bleeding. 

"You are fine." 

Yeah, yeah. No tears from the big alien. "Keep your hands up, you gotta keep moving your… your feet moving and er, bend your cozars; keep your cozars bent." 

"I am unfamiliar with that word," Teal'c says, perplexed. 

Legs? Jack's heard Teal'c say legs before! "What, cosars? Cozars, you gotta bend your cozars." 

"I believe you are referring to your legs, O'Neill." 

Yeah, legs, that's what he…. 

Oooooooh Danny boy? The pipes are calling. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jack and Teal'c burst into Daniel's office. His dank and poorly-lit, ram-shackled office that smells like coffee and three-thousand year old papyrus.

"All right, what the hell is going on with me?" This is somehow Daniel's fault, because it is always Daniel's fault. And he better fix Jack. Fast. 

The younger man frowns, looking oh so sincere and innocent. "What do you mean?" 

Jack tosses up his hands. "Well, apparently I have lost the fallatus to speak properly…." They look at him strangely. "That wasn't a joke; I didn't do that on purpose." 

Teal'c says to Daniel, "Several times now Colonel O'Neill has used strange words in place of common terms." 

"Okay." Daniel bites his lip. "Well, what was that word you just used?" 

"I believe it was fallatus," Teal'c replies. 

Fallatus. What the hell? 

"Okay, sounds kinda close to medieval Latin. So, possibly a derivation, maybe even a root." Daniel goes into linguist-mode, looking up the word in one of his new dictionaries. "Faculatus is Latin for ability; you said you've lost the fallatus to speak properly." 

He's stopped paying attention. Jack stares at the monitor, the words suddenly making perfect sense, like fog parting to reveal a clear, blue sky. "Nou ani anquietas." 

Daniel nearly comes out of his skin. "What?" 

He knows this. It's child's play. "Nou ani anquietas. Hic qua videum." 

"Jack, are you reading this?" Daniel points to the symbols on the screen. 

God, he feels like a freak in a lab. Because he _is_ in a lab and he's _acting_ like a freak. "I don't know, you tell _me_." Help? 

"Well, I don't know," Daniel shrugs, "I haven't been able to associate sounds to the symbols. Do you know what this means?" 

He sighs. "No, I'm just looking at it and the words just pop right into my fron…." Did he say something weird again? "Does anybody think this is odd?" 

Daniel just stares at him. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

This has to be the most fascinating thing that's ever happened… ever. Daniel is so excited. He's slightly worried, of course, but Jack seems fine. Jack is always fine. If only _he_ could have been the one to break the code!

He had to go tell Sam of course. They walk down the corridor, talking it over. 

"The language he's speaking has similar sounds to medieval Latin but they're still quite different." 

"So he's in the infirmary now?" Sam asks. 

They enter Daniel's office. 

Daniel nods. "Yeah, but before we took him there, he picked up the chalk and did this in about thirty seconds flat." The blackboard is full of numbers and squiggles. "Do you have any idea what this means?" he asks. 

If they just put their heads together, he's confident they'll figure this out. Sam's good like that, she gets things he would otherwise miss. 

She shakes her head. "No. I mean, even the simple equations don't make any sense. No, this is like no math I've every seen." 

They ponder over it for a few minutes and then head to the infirmary. 

Janet explains Jack's condition to Sam and Daniel, using monitors full brain scans. 

"A normal human brain operates at five to ten percent of its functional capacity at any given time; Colonel O'Neill's brain is working at over ninety percent capacity," she says. 

Holy. Shit. 

Ow…. 

"How is that possible?" How is his brain not oozing out his ears, Daniel wants to know? 

"I don't know." Janet shrugs. 

Teal'c enters and snaps their attention away from the monitors. "Where is Colonel O'Neill?" 

They look around. 

"Well, he should be in the infirmary," Janet says. 

"He is not there," Teal'c says. 

Oh boy. They dash off to find Jack. Please let this not be another alien incursion thingy. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

After a quick sweep all over level twenty-seven and eight, Sam enters one of the storage rooms to find the colonel taking a staff weapon to pieces.

"Colonel. What are you doing?" 

"I need this." He holds up a capsule of glowing, green, liquid Naquadah from the staff weapon. 

She frowns. "What for?" 

"I have no idea." 

Okay. Sam thinks it's time to call another meeting.… 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Hammond shakes his head. Daniel can guess what he's thinking. Most of the other teams have routine missions, meet and greet, bring back samples for the labs. SG-1 is the black sheep of the SGC.

"Where is he now?" the general asks. 

"He's with Teal'c," Sam says. 

"Do you think his current condition poses any threat?" Like, say, small glowing viral things spreading through the walls, or turning him into a little gray alien, or say, making him eat their flesh? Yeah, Daniel can understand the general's concern. 

Janet shakes her head. "Sir, I don't even know what's wrong with him. All I can tell you is his brain function has increased tenfold." 

"Jack was able to read the alien language - both the inscription from the wall, the meeting place on Ernest's planet, and the circle of symbols from '272, where this happened to him." Daniel is just… amazed. 

"What does it mean?" Hammond asks. 

Oh, yes, right. Lecture time. "Um, well, my translation's a little bit vague, um, I think the circle means ‘the place of our legacy.' Um... or it could be ‘a piece of our leg,' but the first seems to make more sense." 

Sam rolls her eyes. "The point is, Colonel O'Neill is unwillingly speaking an alien language." 

Well, he can't see what the fuss is about. It's an amazing chance. And Jack using more of his brain has to be a good thing. What's mysterious is that it picked Jack over Teal'c. "We know the Asgard oppose the Goa'uld, so it's possible all the members of this four-race alliance felt the same." 

"Which might explain why the viewer locked out Teal'c," Sam follows along. 

"What are you saying?" Hammond asks. 

"What if this device somehow downloaded an alien language into Jack's brain?" Daniel says, for the first time, out loud. 

Teal'c enters quite suddenly. "Your presence is required in the control room," he says to General Hammond. 

They head down the spiral stairs and find Jack working on a computer. Sam rushes over to the opposite monitor and starts typing away. 

"Main system's down, sir. I'm locked out," she says, worried. 

"Colonel." Hammond steps forward. 

"Yes, sir." Jack's hands never cease their furious typing. 

"What are you doing?" 

Jack grimaces. "I don't _know_ , sir. You know me and computers." 

Which is crap; Daniel's seen Jack's computer at home. But whatever… point is, Jack is entering something into their computers and he doesn't even know what it is — 

"Colonel, I'm ordering you to stop." 

"I'd love to sir, but I can't," Jack says, somewhat desperately. 

"Stop him," Hammond orders Teal'c. 

Teal'c tries to pull Jack away from the computer. "No! No, not yet! I'm not farit!" 

Okay, Jack is close to having a fit. "Sir, I think he wants to finish what he's doing," Daniel says. 

Sam retakes the controls. "I can't reboot, sir." 

And just like that, all the computers switch off. 

"Uh-oh," she says. 

"Captain?" George looks like he wants to strangle Jack. 

The numbers Jack entered come up on the computer screen. 

Sam gapes. "Sir, this is machine code. The numbers the colonel was entering must've been some been some sort of program." 

Jack sneaks around Teal'c and quickly enters a few more numbers. 

"What did you do?" Sam demands. 

Jack shakes his head. 

She points to the screen. "It's the destination map. These are all the Stargates we've been through." 

But those are in white and others are now in yellow. "Sam, are those new gates popping up?" 

"That's not possible. It takes days to calculate the planetary shift of each new location.… Whoa, wait a second. Sir, the new Stargates did not come from the Abydos cartouche data that we put in." 

Well shit. 

er." 

Daniel turns to Jack. "Well, I guess that thing must've downloaded more than a language into your brain…. That circular inscription read ‘the place of our legacy.' What if that thing you looked into was some sort of alien database, like the one we found on Ernest's planet, all the knowledge that these particular aliens possessed?" 

He's so excited he's about to wet his pants. 

Hammond thins his lips. "Colonel, you are not under arrest, but you are also not to touch anything else on this base without permission. Understood?" 

Jack looks… depressed. "Eetium, sir." 

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel escorts the older man back to his office and they spend the next several hours trying to decipher the language. Well, actually, Daniel does. Jack mostly gets quieter and quieter as the minutes tick by. It unnerves Daniel, but he doesn't want to let on. Doesn't want Jack to know how worried he is, for many reasons, the primary one being, if Jack isn't panicking, Daniel isn't panicking.

Sam walks in looking dog-ass tired. "You can only stare at a computer screen for so long. Colonel, that program you entered rewrote massive amounts of the machine code." 

Jack doesn't respond. Hasn't responded to anything for almost a full hour. 

Daniel sighs. This is truly starting to freak him out. "Jack seems to have completely lost the ability to speak anything but the alien language." It's like Jack's fading away or something. 

"Really? Wow." Sam raises her eyebrows. 

Stay positive. Jack isn't panicking. Daniel isn't panicking. Don't panic, Sam. "But the good news is we seem to have more of the alien inscription translated. 'Nou ani anquietus'— ‘We are the Ancients.'" 

She pauses. "Who are the Ancients?" 

"Well, I think they could be the teachers of roads. See, the Romans were the first real road builders. They spoke Latin and they learned to build roads from the Gods, known as the Ancient ones." 

Sam frowns. "I'm still not following you." 

Yeah. She's tired and Daniel's not exactly connecting the dots here. "Roads. Stargates. The _gate_ builders. What if these Ancients were the alien race who invented the Stargate?" 

"You're still just speculating, right?" 

That's about all they can do. "Well, that would certainly explain why Jack knew about Stargates the Goa'uld haven't even discovered yet." 

"I don't know, Daniel." Sam shakes her head. "Why would they invent a device that would do this?" 

They both look at Jack, who is still scribbling on that damned pad. He reminds Daniel of an idiot savant. 

"'The place of our legacy' — to pass on their knowledge. Jack may have the knowledge of the original gate builders downloaded into his brain." He sort of felt that out from the beginning, but hadn't said it out loud until now. It made sense. 

"Egoo indeeo navo lochus," Jack suddenly says. In a creepy monotone. 

Daniel sits up straight and licks his lips. "Okay, ‘egoo' means I." 

Jack nods, goes slower. "Indeeo." 

He knows this. It's so similar. "Need." 

"Navo." 

Navo? That's like nouveau… "New." 

"Lochus." 

He really should know that. But it could mean locomotion, movement, place.… He looks it up in his new dictionary. 

"Lochus, lochus, lochus. Locatia. Location. You need a new location. You need a new location?" 

Jack nods solemnly. 

"Where do ya wanna go?" Sam asks. 

Jack doesn't seem to know. He just stares blankly ahead, as if he can't remember speaking at all. 

Sam sighs. "Okay, good luck, you guys; I've got to get back to the computer." She turns to the blackboard, looks at the strange formulas. "Sir, I really wish you could explain all this." 

Jack hands her a notepad. 

"Ten equals eight," Sam reads. "Ten equals eight, ten equals eight.…" She picks up chalk and adds to Jack's work. "Ten equals eight. Sir, this is base-eight math!" 

Sam gets excited and starts working on the board right away. Meanwhile, Janet swings by to update them on Jack's condition. 

"The problem may only be affecting the verbal language center of your brain. It's a different function than writing, but it looks like the problem is advancing." She says this to Jack, but it's not clear if he's following. She turns to Daniel. "Since he lost the ability to speak gradually, I think whatever is affecting him might be taking over incrementally." 

Makes sense. His stomach is now in dozens of knots. Nice little Gregorian knots. "Well, what's the worst-case scenario?" 

She pauses. "Well, your computer analogy is pretty good." Turns to Jack, speaks slower. "Colonel, your hard drive has been filled with information that is written in a language your computer doesn't understand. If it continues to progress the way it has thus far, you may eventually lose the ability to write… or even comprehend us. Or worse… the computer could shut down all together." 

Oh God. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sam calls an emergency meeting in the briefing room with Hammond. It's one of the few Daniel's ever bothered to make on time.

"Sir," she says. "We've been sending probes through to the addresses Colonel O'Neill entered into the computer, hoping that one would lead us to the race that affected his mind. We think we may have found something." 

Daniel takes the lead from there. "P9Q-281 has a pedestal near the gate with symbols on it that match the alien language that Jack is speaking." It's their closest link. 

Hammond nods. "Then I suggest we check it out. You're authorized to go Captain; Major Castleman will be joining SG-1 on this mission." 

Jack's not going? Of course not; not in his condition. "Well if Jack's not going then I have to stay." 

Now Hammond blinks at him. "Why's that, Doctor?" 

He knows damn well why. Oh wait, actually he doesn't.… Better come up with something Hammond can accept. "Well, if Sam and Teal'c make contact with the Ancients then they can report back and... and then Jack and I will go, but until then, I mean, translating this language may be the most important thing we've done since we opened the Stargate. You see, I'm pretty sure that Jack is speaking the language of the original gate builders, at the very least, I'm positive that it's one of the races that created the repository of information on Ernest's planet, the, er, meaning of life stuff." 

He gives Sam his best Bambi eyes. 

"And sir, I believe that the equation Colonel O'Neill wrote on the blackboard is a revolutionary formula for calculating the distance between planetary bodies." 

Which isn't exactly backing him up, but… he can use it. "And, bottom line, sir, what about Jack? Right now, I'm possibly his only hope for communicating on any serious level. I can't leave him like this… and I _won't_." There. Make of that whatever they want. 

Hammond doesn't seem to need to think about it long. "All right. The rest of you will leave at sixteen-hundred hours." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

It's like he's in a well, surrounded by dark water, and it's rising. He can see Daniel at the top of the tunnel, but can't quite make out a way to call for help. Jack is… drowning in himself.

Saturated with the stuff that's in his brain – now a part of his brain, mapped inside, forming new wrinkles all over his gray matter. It's shutting out the rest of him. He's got so much knowledge and no idea how to begin to focus on any one thing long enough to understand. 

He follows Daniel back to his office. So tired. 

"Okay," Daniel says, seated at the desk. "I think we're getting hung up on the grammar." 

Jack is pacing. He wants something. Can't remember how to say it. 

Daniel shrugs, asking, "What?" 

Fraiser said he could maybe still write in English. He tries typing on the computer: _I have to go through the Stargate!_

"Okay, you have to go through the Stargate," Daniel says, and Jack tries not to take it as condescension. "Where? Where to?" 

Jack doesn't know. Shakes his head. His tongue won't work! 

"Back to the planet where this happened; you have to go back there?" 

Jack shakes his head. No, not there. There's nothing there that can help him! He has to go… go to — 

He gets up suddenly and walks out. Heads to the spare parts room and starts tinkering. 

Fraiser is fast on his heels. She's a good little watchdog, about her patients at least. She watches and he tinkers. All in a day's work. 

Eventually Daniel tracks them down. 

"What's he doing now?" Daniel asks. 

"Building something. I've been taking some notes but I'm finding it a little hard to follow." Fraiser has been writing down everything he's doing and it's annoying. 

Daniel takes Janet to one side. "I have to go downstairs; Sam and Teal'c are in trouble." 

Does he think Jack suddenly went deaf? Naturally, Jack doesn't show any reaction, but he listens. 

"What?" Fraiser says, alarmed. 

For Sam, probably. Carter. That's the name he wants. Carter. 

"Just don't tell Jack; I think he's got enough on his mind," Daniel whispers. 

Yes, don't tell Jack. Do what's best for Jack. Keep everything calm for Jack. Since when have those two gotten so chummy about good old Jack? He'd be jealous, if there was room in his mind for anything extra at the moment. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel is sort of surprised at himself. Jack's fading out, his team is trapped on a planet that's heating up like an oven, and he's half-guessing at the translations and origins of the new language. But he's calm.

This time last year, like when Jack and Sam were trapped in the ice cave, he was jittery and coming apart at the seams. Now, he's… well, he's concerned, but… they've come through so much. It's almost impossible for Daniel to believe he'd ever really lose Jack. Jack's right here, in front of him. For the most part. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The general meets with the scientists to try and figure out how to bring Sam and Teal'c back, but they come up with squat. With no viable solution and Sam radioing in to say the gate's stuck and they're facing temperatures of two-hundred-degrees Fahrenheit, he goes to tell Jack.

Janet looks to him. "I think he's finished." 

Daniel looks at the go-go-gadget contraption in Jack's hands. "What is it?" 

Jack turns over a small switch, a light comes on, and it hums. 

A bug catcher? "That's it?" he asks. 

Jack shakes his head like he has no idea. 

"Okay, well let's, er, let's just leave this thing for now. Believe it or not, I have something a little more important to discuss." He leads them to his office. 

"I didn't want to tell you this before because I thought you had enough on your mind. Sam, Teal'c, and the rest of SG-1 are in trouble; the DHD on P9Q-281 isn't working and they can't get home; to make matters worse there's a very hot sun rising. They don't have much time." 

Surprisingly Jack doesn't seem all that – surprised. Daniel puts the video of Sam discussing the problem in his VCR and plays it. She looks desperate and that results in a bit of the old Jack peaking through the layer of stoicism. 

"Look, no one else believes you have the knowledge of the original gate builders in your head right now, except me." Jack _has_ to do something. 

The older man grabs some paper and drafting equipment and starts drawing. 

"What.... What's he doing?" Janet asks him. 

"I don't know." 

She waits a bit. "Do you think this is going to help?" 

"I... I don't, I _really_ don't... know." 

Jack writes something and moves so that they can see it. 

Daniel reads, "Shut up and go away." 

Well okay then. They both leave Jack to work on his own. Janet gives him a sympathetic glance and he squeezes her hand. He's glad he's got her for a friend. 

When Jack is finished making his… plans… he jumps up, mutters to Daniel in bastardized Latin, and goes straight to Hammond. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The scientists are still fighting. The lab is just crammed with testy people. "Removing the power source and reinstalling always rebooted the system in the tests —"

Suddenly Jack walks in and plops the homemade device and his sketches down on the table. 

"We have to dial in right now," Daniel says. 

"What is it?" the general asks. 

"The colonel has a solution," Janet says. 

"He does?" one of the geeks asks in the most insulting manner possible. 

Jack rolls out the plans on the table. 

"We weren't sure what he was drawing at first, but —" Daniel doesn't get anything else out. 

"That's the dial home device!" one of the techies says. 

He nods. "And the instructions on how to fix it. There isn't much time." 

As they leave the scientists, Daniel arranges Jack's machine on the table. "Here, you guys can, er, work on this for a while." 

"What is it?" 

He shrugs. "No idea; well not no idea, just not much of one yet, but work on it." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They send Jack's instructions through the gate and Sam is able to figure them out. Because she's a genius like that. She, Teal'c, and the other two crew members stagger home sometime later, burned and blistered, but alive.

"Glad to have you back," Hammond says. 

"Thought our goose was quite literally cooked this time, sir. These plans were perfect, who came up with them?" Sam asks. 

General Hammond looks at Jack. 

"Colonel?" Her eyes bug out. 

Daniel can understand everyone's surprise. He really can. Jack is not one with the science stuff, that's for sure. But he _is_ a full-bird Air Force Colonel, a college graduate, and an expert in his field. He's not _stupid_ and he hates that everyone just assumes. He hates that Jack is always pretending to be stupid so people will like him.… 

No, that's not true. He doesn't necessarily do it to put others at ease. Like with the chess game, Jack pretends to know less than he does and then pulls something miraculously brilliant out of his ass at the last minute, like now. He makes himself appear stupid so that others will underestimate him, and the more Daniel thinks about it, the more he sees corollaries like that in nature. 

Lots of _predators_ do that. 

Teal'c bows, looking forlorn. "I am sorry, O'Neill. We could not find a way to help you." But Jack just nods and lets the rest of the team shower and get treatment. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel takes Jack back to the think-tank and together they just stare at his gadget. Eventually Teal'c and Sam join them.

"Feel better?" he asks Sam. 

"Much, thanks." She smiles. "Is this what you wanted to show me?" 

"Yes." Moving out of the way, he says, "Jack built it, but no one seems to be able to figure out what it is." He switches it on. 

"Colonel, you have no idea what it is or why you built it?" 

Jack slowly shakes his head. He looks so tired. Like he's slipping away. 

Suddenly Sam is called to the control room; they all go to see what the issue is. The computer froze up the minute they tried to dial one of Jack's new addresses. 

"That doesn't make any sense," Sam says. "We've just run a full diagnostic. The Stargate's trying to draw more power than usual from the system." 

Daniel can see a light go on behind Jack's eyes. The older man picks up his machine and hurriedly leaves the room. 

Er… okay…. "I'm guessing we should follow him." 

Jack enters the cage surrounding the power breakers and hooks his homemade machine up to the super system. 

Teal'c looks to Daniel. "Should we not attempt to stop him, Daniel Jackson?" 

Since when did Daniel make those kinds of decisions for Jack? Oh wait. Warrior bond thing. Teal'c is asking permission to… what, exactly? Zat him? 

"Wait a minute." He wants to try talking first. Wants to trust Jack. "Jack, what are you doing?" 

"Euge," Jack whispers. 

"I think that means good…. Jack, I really don't know if this is a good thing." 

"Euge. Euge." Soft. Gravelly. Like when Jack's over him, thrusting in slowly, whispering instructions into his ear and biting down on his neck…. Daniel shivers. 

But he can't find any of Jack in the man before him. "I don't think he understands us anymore," he says sadly. 

Jack switches the machine on. It hums and glows. The Stargate gets a huge power boost. They hurry back to the embarkation room, where the gate is dialing out by itself. 

"The device that Jack built is some sort of energy source; he just hooked it up in the power vault," Daniel explains. 

"Well, that explains where the gate's getting all the extra power." Sam looks to Hammond. 

Who looks pissed off. "I would not have authorized that, Doctor Jackson…. Captain, how do we stop this?" 

"You could have Siler pull the main breaker." 

The sixth chevron is encoded. 

"Wait!" Daniel's instincts are to trust Jack. "Jack has been saying that this is a good thing. Now, so far, he's done _nothing bad_." 

"So far," Hammond says. 

"Chevron seven... is encoded?" Simmons says. 

Sam looks shocked. "And it's not the point of origin." 

Hammond is confused. "What?" 

It clicks into place. "General, what if all these anomalies that have been happening to Jack are part of some big plan?" 

"What plan?" 

Geez. Maybe he could just decipher all the mysteries of the universe and have it in a report by this afternoon? He's guessing here! It's called hypothesizing. "Well, earlier Jack was telling me he had to go through the gate. Maybe everything up until now has been leading to this." 

"What's it doing?" Sam says, looking to the gate. 

Simmons sounds amazed. "Chevron eight is locked." 

The Stargate goes kawoosh and the tracking needle moves over the star map. 

"Sir, the computer indicates that the wormhole is leaving our known network of Stargates," Sam says. "It's going outside of our galaxy. Far out." 

"That's why the gate needed all the extra power," Daniel sums up. 

Hammond holds up his hands. "Hold on, I thought Stargate addresses were six points in space with the seventh being the point of origin? 

Daniel smiles. Remembers first drawing the box in the meeting with Catherine and General West, when he initially explained how a wormhole worked. 

Sam shrugs. "The extra chevron must add a new distance calculation to the existing points, kinda like dialing a different area code." 

Base- _eight_ math. 

"Now what?" Hammond asks. Jack starts for the door. "Colonel!" 

Jack is leaving! Jack is trying to go! He stops as a guard blocks his path, turns back, and looks to them. 

"I'm just supposed to let you go?" the general wonders. 

Without at least sending a MALP? 

Daniel looks at Jack. _Really_ looks at Jack. Knows that if they've any chance of getting Jack back, it's now. "He's already gone, General; I don't think we have much of a choice." 

Hammond nods and lets Jack go. The older man enters the gate room, followed by Daniel, Hammond, and Teal'c. 

"I will accompany you, O'Neill," Teal'c says. 

Daniel was just about to say the same thing. Just, not with calling Jack ‘O'Neill' ‘cause that would be a little weird. But instinctively he knows — this is a solo mission. "I really think he needs to do this alone, Teal'c." 

Jack walks up the ramp and stops in front of the event horizon. Without knowing where's he's going or why, Hammond won't authorize a remote code device to get back, which means this is a one-way deal. 

And it hurts. It hurts, but at this point, Daniel understands the drive. Jack's only chance is to follow whatever the Ancients put in his head. And Daniel's only chance is to let to let Jack go…. 

He runs up the ramp. "Jack," he whispers. "You understand that if you do this, if you go, you might not be able to come back." 

Jack looks at Daniel, warm brown eyes, a flicker of Jack that's gone in any instant, and then leaves.... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While he's gone, Daniel does his best not to spaz. Spaz would be the appropriate word.

Sam wants to shut the whole computer system down and reboot. They can't close the iris, and Sam isn't having any luck with whatever Jack entered into the machine. Several minutes tick by, and Daniel feels… hollow. Carved out, like a pumpkin. Numb. 

Then the gate starts dialing itself again. 

"We have an incoming wormhole!" Sam shouts. 

The Stargate opens and Jack appears. Daniel and Teal'c bolt out of the control room and rush to him. 

"I'm back," Jack says, in good old, plain, perfect, American English. 

"What happened?" Daniel asked, curious beyond all belief. 

"Do you still possess the knowledge of the Ancients?" Teal'c wants to know. 

Jack shakes his head. He seems… happy? "Nope. Don't remember a thing." 

Daniel hides his disappointment, just glad to have the infuriating bastard back, and back to his old self. It's all he can do not to hug him or something equally stupid. 

The older man looks at him searchingly. "But ya know that meaning of life stuff?" 

Daniel nods slightly. 

Jack smiles. "I think we're gonna be all right…." 

Daniel smiles back. Yeah, they will be. Jack promised him that a long time ago over a breakfast table. 

~*~


	39. Cantus de Serpens

**39\. Cantus de Serpens**

 

 

 

 

 

"Yo, Danny boy," Jack called out to him from across the parking lot.

Grimacing, Daniel waited, half-in and half-out of his car. "Yeah?" 

"Ya wanna, I dunno, catch a movie or something?" 

Was he nuts? "Are you nuts?" 

"Possibly." Jack walked up and rested his forearms on Daniel's window. "So, not in the mood for a movie? It's a nice night. How about a drive? Or we could take a walk. I hear the nature is very nice on this planet." 

"Jack? What… Jack?" 

"That's my name, don't wear it o —" 

"I think I'm just gonna go home and catch a few winks." Put the key in the ignition. Hint. Hint. 

"Daniel, we haven't spent time together in ages." 

Incredulous. "Jack, we just spent over a full day in each other's presence." 

"Yeah, but I wasn't really _myself_." A pointed stare. Actually, Jack looked a little lonely. 

"Come on, get in." Daniel sighed. He had no idea why he was such a pushover. That damned O'Neill charm. 

Jack grinned and got in the passenger seat far too quickly for Daniel's comfort. He pushed the radio button, something came on with a deep base, and pulled out. 

"So where are we headed?" Jack asked happily. 

"The library." 

"The _library_?" Jack asked, like going to such a place would melt the skin from his body. 

"I have it on good authority you like books, Jack O'Neill. Besides, it's quiet." 

"I haven't said two words all day." Jack moped. Then he suddenly asked, "You got a headache?" 

"Yes, dear." 

"No, seriously. Have you?" 

How could he tell? "Little bit." Daniel flashed a wave at the guard and pulled out of the facility. When he looked forward again, Jack held out two little Tylenols for him. Daniel swallowed them gratefully. 

"Have you had your prescription looked at?" Jack rolled his window down. 

"No, not since my last physical. I was thinking of getting contacts." This was actually kinda nice. Breezy and not forced. Huh. Maybe Jack losing the ability to form cognitive speech got them back on track or something. 

Back to basics. 

"Contacts? Huh. I just got used to you with glasses." 

Signaled and swung a sharp right. Jack didn't chastise him, though, which Daniel considered progress. 

"They can be a bother." He meant on digs and in the field, but his mind flashed to all those kisses they shared, and how many times Jack had slowly dragged his lenses off his nose so they could get to some serious making out. 

Christ. He just thought of his best friend, his best male friend and him, making out. Like teenagers. Daniel sighed. 

"Hey, the library's that way." Jack hitched his thumb toward his window. 

"I'm not actually dragging you to the library, Jack. I have some pity — for the patrons." 

Jack ignored him. "Where we going?" 

"Let's just drive?" 

"Yeah." 

A good long ride. Not a word spoken. Volumes went unsaid. The stars came out, the summer sounds filled the night air, the road was curvy; it was just really nice. 

But Daniel started getting tired. "You want me to drop you off at the base?" 

"Whatever's good." 

Daniel just drove him home. Home to Jack's house. "Here we are." 

Without so much as a glance his way, Jack tossed out, "You want I should give you a ring sometime? Maybe we could catch that movie or something this weekend." 

God. Jack was persistent, that was obvious. But Daniel wasn't sure of his motives – friendship? Or sex? Why did they ever have to mix the two? 

"Yeah. Maybe I should just call you sometime when I'm not so busy." 

Silence. Waves of disappointment. "Yeah. Okay." Jack took off his seatbelt. 

"I could come pick you up tomorrow?" Why did stuff like that just fly out of his mouth? He really, really need to leave Jack alone for a bit until he got over the attraction and they'd learned to just be… buddies. 

They both knew Jack could call an Airman tomorrow morning, but they both knew he hated doing that. 

"Yeah, that would be good. I was gonna make pancakes for breakfast, if you want to come over early." 

"Not raspberries, I hope?" Flashed back to retching in Jack's toilet half the night. But then, Jack had stayed right by him, cool washcloth and warm blanket and no embarrassment whatsoever. 

"Blueberries." 

"I'm there." 

"Good." Jack unlocked the door and started to get out. "Thanks for today, Daniel," he mumbled really fast. 

Daniel, on impulse, reached over and rubbed Jack's head. "That's what I'm here for." 

Jack smiled at him and went in for the night.… 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel lounges on the steps of the Stargate. It's hot, and it's been another long day already, and the Tok'ra have kept them waiting for a pretty damned long time. He doesn't like this planet, because desert worlds remind him of Abydos, and Abydos reminds him of Sha're, and Sha're reminds him of broken promises and hot, stolen kisses with a certain Air Force colonel, who at the moment, looks entirely too sexy in his desert BDU's for Daniel's comfort.

"Shouldn't they be here by now?" It sounds petulant but there it is. 

Teal'c is pacing. Jack and Sam are sitting on the top steps, clutching their rifles. Typical. 

"Yes," Jack says simply. Daniel can't tell if he's annoyed because the Tok'ra weren't punctual, or because the Tok'ra were the Tok'ra. 

"I do not believe the Tok'ra would mislead us," Teal'c says. 

No, Daniel didn't think so either, but Jack did have a point in the briefing room earlier.… "Well, assuming it was the Tok'ra who sent us the message to meet them here in the first place. I mean, all we really received was a set of coordinates." 

"But on _our_ radio frequencies. Who else would send us a signal like that?" Sam says, using Daniel's argument from before. 

"You know," Jack turns to her, but Daniel knows the older man is really still talking to him by the way Jack holds himself far too casually, "I'm not really too crazy about this ‘don't call us we'll call you' policy." 

Daniel's about to reply when laser blasts fall from the sky. 

"There!" Teal'c calls, pointing to a glider coming in fast and furious, under heavy fire. 

"Cover up!" Jack commands and they all duck. 

The glider swoops down, flounders, and crashes close to the gate. For a minute, the whole ground shakes. 

They rush up to the wreck; Jack with his rifle poised as the pilot crawls away from the wreck. 

It's… Apophis. Bleeding and broken, but eyes glowing with rage. 

"Holy buckets," Jack says. 

The Goa'uld's eyes look straight at him. "Help me." 

"Well.…" Jack hedges. 

"Wow," Daniel says, because he can't think of anything else to say. "Is that who I think it is?" 

Apophis works his jaw. "Tau'ri, please.…" 

Teal'c opens up his zat gun. 

"Teal'c!" Sam stops him. "Apophis is much more valuable to us alive than dead." 

And much as Daniel would really, really like to take Jack's rifle and blow the bastard away, said bastard is the one hope for finding Sha're. Teal'c puts the zat away. 

Apophis points at the sky. 

"Sir. We've got incoming." Sam aims at the aircraft. 

Jack turns his head, but his weapon is still trained on Apophis. A platoon of gliders head their way. 

"Oy," Jack mumbles, turning back to the Goa'uld. "All right, dial us up, get us out of here!" 

The gliders swoop in as Sam fires upon them. They don't return fire. 

"What are they doing?" 

"They wish to take Apophis alive," Teal'c says. 

Jack continues firing as they run for the Stargate; Teal'c reluctantly carries Apophis. They go through the event horizon, Jack the last one out, stumbling backwards and still firing through the wormhole. He lands on the ramp and the iris closes. 

Teal'c walks past General Hammond with Apophis. 

"Colonel?" the general immediately asks. 

Jack gets up. "General Hammond. Apophis." Apophis is placed on a gurney. "Apophis. General Hammond." 

Apophis and Hammond look at each other with utter contempt. 

"We've met," Hammond says with distain. 

"I demand Kel'mac!" Apophis coughs out. That has Daniel's eyebrows raised. 

Jack looks to him for a translation. 

"I'm not really sure but I think what he's asking for is.…" Daniel trails off; it's just too difficult to believe. 

"Sanctuary," Teal'c finishes. 

Oh no, it's really happening. Daniel's not having a bad dream. "Right." 

"Why?" Hammond asks. 

He wants Daniel to explain but Daniel can't work his tongue at the moment, so Jack steps in. "I think some rival Goa'uld just kicked his ass." 

"There were several other death gliders in pursuit when we took him prisoner, sir," Sam says. 

"I demand Kel'mac!" That voice. That arrogance. It _grates_ on Daniel to the point that he has to gnash his teeth together to keep from losing it. 

"You're not in a position to demand anything, sir. Lock him up," Hammond orders. 

Sometimes Daniel could really kiss Hammond. 

Several guards move forward. 

"Sir, with all due respect," Janet says, which makes Daniel's gut twist just a tad, "he is badly injured he is not going to be any use to you if we don't get him to the OR right now." 

Fine. Fix him, get the information, and then let him rot. 

Daniel takes a deep breath. Centers. 

This is not like him. He's against the death penalty every which way until Sunday. But this is… this is different. 

Snakes have fangs and venom. That doesn't make them evil, that's just the way they come. But if a snake is about to bite someone you love, you kill the snake. That's not saying no to the snake, that's saying no to the situation. And Apophis did much worse to Sha're than just kill her – he _stole_ her and made her a slave and raped her. 

Yes, deep down, Daniel truly wants him dead. No, Daniel wants him tortured, slowly, preferably with Daniel conducting the event and Jack selling tickets. 

In some deep, dark place that Daniel will probably never talk about, he wants Apophis on his knees and begging for mercy, and Daniel wants just enough absolute power to keep him that way for a long, damned, suffering time. 

"Do what you need to keep him alive, Doctor. We got a lot of questions that need answers." Hammond nods. 

"Yes, sir." Janet gives Daniel a sympathetic look. "Okay, let's move him. Let him start on two IVs…." Daniel just tunes her out. 

"I want four SFs posted at all times," Hammond says to a guard. "If he attempts to escape, you're authorized to do what ever is necessary to stop him." 

The SF nods, points out who is to come with him and they leave the gate room. 

"We'll debrief at eleven-hundred hours." Hammond leaves with a sour expression. 

"Yes, sir," Jack says. Brown eyes stray over to Daniel, but Daniel's already long since learned how to shut down. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack watches over Fraiser as she tends to their prisoner in the infirmary. Apophis is strapped to a bed while Fraiser and the nurse check over his vitals, but Jack still doesn't want the snake out of his sight for a moment.

She walks into the observation room where Jack and the others wait. "Both femurs were smashed and there was eternal bleeding; surgery and transfusions have stabilized him for now." 

"The Goa'uld symbiote within him will repair those injuries," Teal'c says. 

"Well, I think it's kept him alive so far, Teal'c." Fraiser indicated the computers. "But take a look at his monitors. See, what you're looking at is the actual symbiote attached to the host's brainstem. Have you seen these lesions? I mean, there are dozens of them. I can treat the human part, but as for the symbiote itself.…" She looks to Carter. 

"There is no treatment. He's been tortured." Carter closes her eyes and visibly staggers under a memory. 

Jack looks up at her while she flinches. "Sam?" he says, immediately concerned. 

"I… just had a memory of Jolinar… pain… when she was killed by the Ashrak." 

Jack feels apprehensive but tries not to show it. His team has really been put through the wringer lately, and it's not fair that Carter has to endure the memory of that thing's torture. 

"The Ashrak had this device… he used it on us… it was used to cause incredible pain. Apophis was tortured by the same thing." She sounds so small, saying that. 

Jack looks at her – she just said _us_ , not Jolinar – but Carter drops his gaze. 

Hammond catches his glance and he can tell it's back to the briefing room for another discussion…. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"So he's dying," George says simply.

"Yes, sir," Fraiser replies. 

"You're sure about this?" The general doesn't seem convinced, and considering the mess with Apophis, Klorel, and Hathor, he doesn't hold the man at fault for a little skepticism. 

"As sure as I can be, sir." Fraiser looks down. "Considering what we know of Goa'uld physiology." 

Hammond moves to sit at the briefing table. 

"Good," Jack says gleefully. "When?" 

All of them take their seats but Jack. He prefers to stand when plotting an enemy's eminent demise. 

"Without access to a sarcophagus, the Goa'uld body will continue to deteriorate. We're looking at days… weeks possibly." Now Fraiser is looking at Daniel. 

"This kind of torture wasn't designed to extract information; it's a method of execution," Carter says with certainty. 

Interesting. "So what does he want?" 

Daniel speaks for the first time during all of this. "You heard him yourself, he wants sanctuary." 

A quick look – no, Daniel is not taking this well. Hiding it well, yes. Taking it well, no. 

"I'm not buying that." Jack folds his arms. 

The younger man shakes his head, little flecks of hair falling over his glasses. "He gambled that we would show compassion even to our worst enemy… and he was right," Daniel mumbles. He can't tell if Daniel is depressed by their decision to keep Apophis alive, or not. 

"You think he orchestrated this." Calling them on their radio frequency. Begging for help. Jack's seeing red. "Let me tell ya something.…" He moves to sit beside Carter. "The only compassion I showed was not blowing his head off." 

And considering all that Daniel's gone through, Jack had really, really wanted to blow his head off. A couple dozen times. 

Teal'c adds, "I have witnessed once-powerful Goa'uld enter the service of their conquerors in exchange for life. When Apophis himself was a conqueror, it gave him great pleasure to see his enemies so weakened." 

"But we're along way from being his conquerors," Carter cautions. 

Teal'c… dear God, it's an _actual_ smile. "But we are greatly responsible for his downfall." 

"He lost an army when you destroyed those two ships in orbit," George says. 

Carter looks uncomfortable. "Bra'tac did say that that seriously weakened his place amongst the Goa'uld." 

Daniel… gives a little half smile that makes Jack's blood run cold. "So, his blood is in the water and all the other sharks are having a feeding frenzy." 

Well, there's an image. Never would have thought Daniel would talk like this, when they first met. Then again, considering all — 

"And he has come here seeking refuge," Teal'c says. 

Yeah, well, fuck him. Nearly killed Daniel. Twice. Took Sha're. Got Kawalski snaked. Took out countless good officers at the SGC. And here's the crowning glory – because of Apophis, Daniel Jackson isn't an innocent anymore. He's a man walking a fine line between good and crazy. 

"Well, that's tough," Jack spits out. "I say we beat any information we can out of old snake-boy and toss him back to the sharks." 

"Not so fast, Colonel," George says. "He's essentially a prisoner of war. That gives him certain rights." 

Jack feels sick. "Rights, General?" 

Carter steps in. "We also have to consider the host. I'm sorry, sir, but we are dealing with two beings within one body. The symbiote may be an enemy, but the host is innocent." 

That... doesn't sit well with him, and he _knows_ it's gonna bother Daniel. "Oh, come on, how much of the host do you think is still around after all this time?" 

Teal'c leans forward. "Apophis will have that knowledge." 

George sighs. "We also need to consider military intelligence. I have informed my superiors about our situation. My orders are to extract whatever information we can in the short time we may have." 

"He will tell you nothing of use, General Hammond." Of this, Teal'c looks pretty sure. 

"If he believes it's in his own interest, he might," George says. 

Daniel speaks up again; his voice is strange. "We are the only thing that stands between him and whatever Goa'uld is after him on that planet." And Daniel's meaning is clear – at least threaten to deny sanctuary. 

"We need answers. Let me know when he's conscious," George tells Jack. 

"I'll inform you the moment he's ready for questioning, sir," Fraiser says. 

"Dismissed." 

Anger and frustration shiver down Jack's spine as he watches Daniel walk, hollow and haunted, from the room. He throws his papers back on the desk and bites down on a curse. 

"Sir?" Carter asks. 

Jack picks up his stuff and walks away from her. "Should've shot him." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goes to the infirmary and waits, and waits. Jack hates hospitals. The sterile smell and the sickness that looms and ever-present whiter-than-white that reminds one of his utter helplessness in these situations.

Finally Apophis wakes up. 

"O'Neill, I am dying," the Goa'uld says. 

"My heart bleeds for you." Puts his hands in his pockets, mostly to keep from pummeling the host. 

"You lie poorly. It is you who have done this. You rejoice." 

Yeah, just a little bit.… Then he looks at the broken body. Rejoice? Does he really? Does he _really_ like seeing his enemies suffer? 

No. No, this past year with Daniel has changed Jack. 

Damn, he's soft. "Not really. What do you want?" 

"To live." 

"Can't help you out there. That's between you and your God." He stops, acts surprised. "Oh wait a minute. You _are_ your God. That's a problem." 

Apophis tries another tactic. "I'm worth far more to you than you will admit." 

A sneer. "You tell me; what are you worth?" 

The Goa'uld rolls his eyes, coming in and out of consciousness. "Your people. You are still primitive. You will be destroyed." 

Jack smirks. "You don't look like you're up to it." 

"Not me. There is another…." 

Jack is _so_ tempted to say ‘Skywalker.' But that would just be crass. "Yeah. Who?" 

"There is much you will learn from me, Tau'ri. For that knowledge there is a price." Oh, here it comes. "A host." 

Did Jack hear that right? "A host?" 

Apophis nods. "So that I may live, in exchange for all the knowledge of the Goa'uld… secrets of star travel… weapons… our power." 

Well, doesn't that sound like a great deal? "All that?" 

"In time, more." 

Jack leans forward and whispers, "Go to hell." 

The Goa'uld doesn't seem to get it. "The sake of one human life is worth so much, you would risk a world?" 

"That's right. That's why they call us the _good guys_." Which is not strictly, totally, completely true, but Apophis doesn't need to know that and he _isn't_ getting a new host. "Doc," he says to Fraiser, "Let me know when he dies." 

So he can dance on the Goa'uld's corpse. 

"Sokar," Apophis squeezes out. 

"What?" Turns back around, wishes Daniel was here because he hasn't a clue what to do if this thing starts spilling the beans in Goa'uld. 

"An ancient and powerful Goa'uld. You have helped him to become strong. Last of my loyal Jaffa died stealing me from his grasp. He will not rest until I am found; that is why I came here. So that in death, I can be assured that you can die with me." 

There it is. He had been waiting for it – the real reason Apophis sought them out. So that another snake can take out the Tau'ri. It's all he can do not to strangle the man right then and there. 

He knew it. Should have trusted his guts, they never fail. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

When Jack comes to tell them the news, Daniel isn't very surprised.

"Sokar is a Goa'uld of ancient times. He once was ruler of the system lords, but was defeated by an alliance of Goa'uld many centuries ago. Apophis and Ra were among his conquerors," Teal'c says. 

"Where did he go?" Sam wonders. 

Daniel doesn't really care. He wonders when he'll get a chance to question Apophis about Sha're. 

"Apophis himself believed him destroyed, but obviously he was mistaken." Teal'c does that eyebrow thing. 

"Well, if he was almost wiped out, how bad could he be now?" Teal'c looks at Jack. Yeah. "It's rhetorical, Teal'c." 

Daniel sighs. Jack _would_ make jokes at a time like this. "His name's also very old. Earth mythology. He was the most feared deity in ancient Egypt, the original God of Death." 

Jack raises an eyebrow of his own. "Got anything a little more up to date?" 

"Well, I don't know what he's been up to lately, but according to the book of the dead, there was a time he ruled all of Death, his land around Menthes were covered by darkness and inhabited by… serpents." 

"Unas," Teal'c says. "The first host of the Goa'uld." 

"Well, that makes sense. I mean if the… Unas… were the first ones then there had to be a time when both form of Goa'uld host co-existed. Kind of like Neanderthals.…" 

And doesn't that bring up pleasant memories? 

"Which is he?" Jack asks. 

Does Daniel have the word ‘telepathic' emblazoned on his forehead somewhere? "I don't know, but his portion of Touf, or the Otherworld, was filled with lakes of fire, the wicked were thrown in to face his punishment, after torture and mutilation." Throws Jack a pointed look. 

"Hell," Jack says. 

"Yeah. Basically he was the original Satan." And Daniel thought Apophis was bad. 

Just then, there's an unauthorized incoming traveler. It never fails. He gets about three sentences into the mythology of the subject, and then someone new comes stopping by. 

"Speak of the devil," Jack says. 

They all get up and go to the control room, where they discover that Sokar is lobbing things at the iris. Jack requests to get back to the interrogation while there's still time, and Daniel quickly says, "Sir, I'm kind of the resident expert on Sokar around here — I'd like a shot at the interrogation." 

Jack frowns at him and Daniel gives Jack a look to let him know that if he isn't allowed to question Apophis about Sha're, he'll go ballistic. 

"Yeah, okay," Jack says quietly. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel goes to the infirmary and stops, standing there like he can't remember what his legs are for. "Is he conscious?" he asks Janet.

"Come, Daniel," Apophis invites. 

Daniel walks over to his bedside. "You know my name?" 

Apophis nods. "Because of what we hold in common. Amaunet, my queen." 

He swallows back pain and bile. "Her name is Sha're. She is my wife." 

"They are one in the same," Apophis dismisses. 

No, they are not, and Daniel won't stand by and let that go. "Amaunet possesses her. Sha're is a prisoner. She is somewhere…. I want you to tell me where." 

Apophis' eyes roll back in his head and he seems to talk to himself. "Amaunet… I loved her." 

Goa'uld are not capable of love. His expression must say as much. 

"You do not believe me." Apophis is surprised. 

"No. I don't think that's possible." 

This frustrates the Goa'uld. "How could you? Her eyes, her knowledge.… Our very _being_ is so much greater, so much more." 

The nerve. The _pride_. Daniel hates him and wants to hurt him. Deeply. "I know where your child is." How's that for a new host? 

"My son." 

It sickens Daniel. Sickens him. "Yes," he says softly. "I brought him into the world with my own hands, on Abydos." 

"He was taken by Heru'ur," Apophis spits out. 

"No." A long pause. "By _me_." He hopes it hurts. He hopes it _burns_. 

Apophis seems taken aback, but only for a moment. "We have no use for the child now." Cold, sick bastard. Throwing a child away. "Amaunet…. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on her, she was a vessel for the queen." 

Fuck Apophis. And fuck this mercy bullshit. Daniel leans over the bedrail and says in a deadly whisper, "If you don't tell me where she is, I'll kill you right here." 

Apophis looks at him for a long time, those brown eyes clouded over with age. "You have neither the strength nor the will." 

Oh no? He moves — 

"Daniel," Sam interrupts. 

Apophis sucks in a deep breath and cries out in pain. Daniel hesitates before moving into the corridor with Sam. 

She takes him aside to say, "We… we think that thud we heard hitting the iris was the Sagan box. Its radioactive signature matches the one we gave the Tok'ra. They're… they're coming here." 

Daniel follows her to the gate room. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

The Tok'ra send that handsome guy, Martouf, through the gate. They do the meet and greet thing, and Jack thinks it's cute the way Martouf… Lantesh… whoever… keeps trying to persuade them to dump Apophis back on the desert planet and avoid the whole issue. Like he needs to be lectured on it.

They need information. _Daniel_ needs information – or at least closure – and Jack knows that the other Goa'uld System Lords, including Sokar, are gunning for them right now, but he really can't stand the notion of the Tok'ra telling the SGC what it should do. Lantesh warns Jack not to be overconfident, as the Goa'uld are, but ultimately they're back at square one – interrogation of the prisoner. 

They head back to the infirmary, where Apophis lies in great pain. He's calling for Amaunet, screaming his head off about how much he loves her, and from the corner of his eyes, Jack can see Daniel wind tighter and tighter. 

Suddenly Apophis starts talking in a normal voice. "Shemoie... shemoie." 

Daniel comes out of his shell instantly. "That's ancient Egyptian. This must be the host." 

"Shimotie… shimotie." 

Daniel's curiosity is peaked. Jack nods. "Talk to him." 

Daniel hesitates. "I don't know what to say." 

Doesn't much matter, as the host passes out. 

"Thousands of years trapped inside your own body. It's… it's like a nightmare. It's unimaginable," Daniel murmurs. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sokar starts smashing subatomic particles at the iris, Carter mumbles something about a particle accelerator and light velocity and blah blah blah – Jack figures the shit has hit the fan.

Hammond gets on the horn with the president and Jack sends Carter to interrogate Apophis – because she's hosted Jolinar, and because, more importantly, of all of SG-1, she's the least likely to snap his neck. Accidentally, like, of course…. 

In the meantime, they put their heads together in the control room and Daniel suggests that if they can keep the gate open, they can prevent Sokar from connecting with their Stargate. 

Unfortunately, Sokar can dial in faster than the SGC's computers can dial out. Things in the gate room get, for lack of a better word, hot. 

They discuss handing over Apophis, but there doesn't appear to be a way to get the gate open long enough to throw the fish back into the sea. 

Hammond says that his new orders from Washington are to cease all medical treatment. 

"That will affectively end his life, General," Fraiser argues. 

"I'm aware of that, Doctor. The president and Joint Chiefs have decided that the risks are too great not to heed the Tok'ra's warning. Our orders are to send Apophis' body back through the gate to the coordinates where you found him." 

"Will that be sufficient to make Sokar cease his attack, Martouf?" Jack asks. 

Martouf nods. "Sokar is at war with Heru'ur; he wants no part of the Tau'ri for the moment. But you may have come to your senses to late. He will soon burn through your iris." 

Carter reworks the computer, hoping to dial out faster, and they wait. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While the seconds tick by, Jack goes to the infirmary and smiles at the… ancient-looking, shriveled, husk that lies on that bed.

"Apophis. We're sending you back," he taunts. 

"Shimoite. Shimoite," the man says. 

Shit, the host. Jack turns to an SF. "Get Dr. Jackson down here." 

"Retzakemi. Keneichi sa kemi. Hiemotet Hiemotet." 

Shit, where's Daniel? 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel rushes in, all out of breath, hair everywhere, glasses eschew and not caring. He listens carefully. "He says he's been in a never-ending dream. He hoped to waken from it, to see his wife and his children."

"Diseche fay tah la phasib che —" 

"He was a scribe in the temple of Al Moun in Karnack, but that was another life time ago, before the… before the nightmare." Daniel feels… he has no idea how he feels. It's like talking to a man from the past, but also to the shell of his greatest enemy. 

"Himyet faysweat kellbe fatmon —" 

"And now he awakens only to die again…." God, it hurts. He can't do this. He can't take delight in someone's suffering. He has to do something. "Nomka yayde at tou, pom ra dunaray epia desipo gosofka eia kemota shalpal. She ak anuison. Heyho. Heyho…." 

Slowly, he turns to Jack. "I said I will speak the words of power and renew the rights. He will be returned to Egypt and buried with honor. He will pass through the seven gates and see his wife and children again and rejoice with them forever —" Tears are forming. He needs something to make the ritual complete.… 

Daniel rushes to his office. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack can't imagine what this is like for Daniel. He's about to try and reach out to the host, offer some comfort, when the eyes glow again.

"Help me." 

"No," Jack says with delight. 

"A host." 

Die. Just die. "No." 

"I am… afraid." 

Well don't that just beat all? Apophis takes several shuddering breaths and then the brain monitor flat-lines. Fraiser pushes him out of the way. 

"The Goa'uld is dead, but the host is still alive." 

Daniel comes back in carrying some ugly statue. "Yip yall tal tie kie pel pou wiefou det aveou. En ya af kyak a koomai…. I told him this funeral statue will take his last breath and carry it back to Egypt." 

Jack looks at the younger man. He's amazed that even now, after everything, Daniel can have such compassion, can be so generous. He's a good man. Yes, there's darkness in him, but it never wins out. He's a far better man than Jack. 

Jack loves him for that. 

The host takes his last breath. They place Apophis' cloak over his head. 

Teal'c enters somberly and says, "Captain Carter has succeeded in creating an outgoing wormhole. Sokar cannot attack during this time." 

"That's good," Jack says. 

Teal'c uncovers Apophis' face. Jack supposes he deserves this moment alone. Eventually Teal'c comes out of the infirmary bearing the body and they pass it through the gate. 

Fraiser is not at all happy. He supposes that as a doctor, it's in every fiber of her being to want to save life, not take it away. But she hasn't seen what they have. She hasn't lost what they've lost. And if Apophis was the one to put a bomb in Cassie's chest, he knows she'd be looking at this a totally different way. 

But as it stands, she just walks away. 

"What now?" Daniel asks tiredly, and Jack isn't entirely sure what they're talking about. Sokar? Sha're? Each other? 

"We wait." 

"If Sokar wanted him alive, then he'll just start up the attack again," Carter says. 

Martouf does not agree. "No. I don't believe he will. Sokar has a sarcophagus in his possession. With it, he can revive Apophis even through death and torture him as long as he pleases." Everyone processes that. "Surely a fate he justly deserves." 

SG-1 looks sober. Funny, that. Even Jack doesn't wish that fate on anybody. The idea of being revived again and again to endure torture… no one should have to go through that. It's like… his worst fear. Unending torment – breaking down and giving in. 

Martouf asks to be sent to specific coordinates and gives them a Tollan device, of all things, to keep in contact. 

"We are friends of the Tollan and we are friends of the Tau'ri," he says with a smile, mostly for Carter. 

Cripes. 

"Thank you," she says. 

Oh boy. Carter's got the gushies for a snakehead. He's not judging, he's not judging… ew. Just ew. He may have blurred the line between straight and gay, but the day he gets the hots for a snake is the day he cuts his dick off. 

"Well, if we're going to be friends, you're going to need one of these." He hands Martouf a GDO. "It sends out a signal to let us know who you are and if it's okay to open the iris. Otherwise you could end up splattered against the…well." He shrugs because nothing more needs to be said. 

Martouf heads home and Carter starts working on the computers, updating the coordinates systems. Teal'c goes off to be alone, which Jack can understand, but Daniel.… Daniel just stands there. 

Hugging himself. 

How familiar. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

There was a lot of talking. And then more talking. Not that Daniel did any of it. Eventually, Jack drove them off base. Daniel didn't say a word for the rest of the day. He just… he just didn't have it in him. Thankfully, Jack didn't pry.

But he didn't drive Daniel _home_ -home. He took them to Jack's house instead. 

Couldn't even work up enough energy to protest. Daniel just trudged along behind Jack, sat down at the table, and accepted the glass of red wine without even looking at it. 

"I'm sorry the host had to die," Jack said. "And I'm sorry Apophis didn't give us anything about Sha're." 

"Are you?" Quiet. Passionless. Couldn't quite find his voice. 

Jack looked hurt. "Yes." 

Daniel nodded. "I'm tired. I'm too tired to get into this." 

Jack nodded. Squeezed his shoulder. Took him by the elbow and led him into the spare room. Daniel sat on the bed and watched as Jack knelt down and undid his shoes. 

"This is familiar." 

"Annual ritual. It's in my contract," Jack murmured, smiling lightly. 

The older man pulled off the covers and Daniel slid in. He doubted he could sleep tonight. 

Jack switched off the lights. 

"Can you stay?" Hated himself for asking, but who was he kidding? 

"If you want." Warm. Kind. 

"I just mean… I just mean to stay, not anything else." 

Jack nodded and sat on the edge of the bed. He put a warm, solid hand over Daniel's calf and stared off into space. Daniel watched him in the darkness, because he couldn't close his eyes just yet. 

"Are you cold?" Jack asked. 

Daniel shrugged. He was a sand person. Even the middle of May was cold to him. 

Smiling shyly, Jack crawled up on the bed – over the blankets – and crooked his finger. Daniel waited a breath, and then rested his head on Jack's chest. That warm, solid hand began slowly patting his back – thump thump, thump thump, thump thump. Like a heartbeat. 

"Used to do this for Charlie, when the nightmares wouldn't go away," Jack murmured. 

Daniel melted against Jack. When he drifted into sleep, there were no dreams. 

~*~


	40. Otium

**40\. Otium**

 

 

 

 

 

"And then what happened?" Janet leaned over her cup of cocoa – how anyone could drink cocoa in June was beyond Daniel but…. The commissary was crammed with people, loud voices and scraping silverware and he was glad there was no chance of him being overheard.

"And then nothing. We slept." 

"He held you?" 

"Ah, yeah." Daniel blushed a little. This was so embarrassing. 

"Aw." 

"Janet." Rolled his eyes and _mashed_ his croissant all to hell. No idea why, it just felt good to squeeze the buttered dough between his fingers. 

"Well, I'm just saying, aw." She winked. "I knew that grouchy exterior was all show." 

Daniel shook his head. "No, he's grouchy. But he can be… well… quite charming, when he wants to be." 

"Sounds like." 

"Yeah." Daniel sighed. 

"So then what happened?" 

"Breakfast. Shower. Came here." Daniel fiddled with his swizzle straw. 

"Did he cook or just microwave something?" 

"Ja —" Daniel caught himself. "He always cooks." 

"Wow. I'm impressed." Janet blew on her cocoa again and took a small, lady-like sip. 

"So am I, actually." He smiled. 

"Shower together?" 

Daniel spit his coffee back into his cup. "Ja — Janet! No!" 

Janet looked skeptical. "You're telling me, a body like that, and you've never showered together?" 

Okay, the sick, twisted part of him really enjoyed this conversation. It was like having a sister. An older sister. Not like Sam. Sam… Sam didn't have this… evil streak. Not like Janet. 

He let her have a tiny smile. "I didn't say that." 

"Ah! I knew it!" Bright, flashing brown eyes. 

He sobered. "But that's all done now. You know. Sha're." Daniel shrugged. 

Janet wisely said nothing. Daniel knew she sympathized with his situation more than she, well, fantasized about it. He… thought. He sighed heavily. "I mean, I don't know what to do." 

"Do?" 

Shrugged again. "Sometimes I think I'll never get her back and that I should focus on the here and now. Other times I feel like such an asshole, for even wanting anyone else in the first place. And then again, it's not fair to him. He's still attracted to me, this is all new territory for him, and I don't want to fuck with his head." 

She nodded. "That's not the part I'd want to fuck with either." 

He shot her a look. She was a _demon_. 

She cleared her throat. "I mean, he's messed up enough as it is." 

Meaning? What did she know? 

Janet paused, catching his stare over the rim of his glasses. "I've read his file. His medical file. Daniel.…" She leaned in and whispered. "I would never breach the patient-doctor confidence, but I think he's been through a lot. A whole lot. And you shouldn't jerk him around." 

So she knew about the rape. Its existence in a medical file confirmed his suspicions. Daniel looked her in the eye. "Yeah, I know about it." 

It was just a tad this side of _totally obvious_. Not that Jack would ever admit it, or talk about it, or consult with Daniel, as Daniel had been through something very like it. No. No, Jack was going to be all tough-as-nails-macho-warrior about it, and Daniel was going to let Jack think he was totally naïve. 

Because Daniel didn't want to wound Jack's pride. Not over something as serious as this. 

Janet looked around. "It's not something that should get out." 

He agreed. "I'm not stringing him along. I'm not like that. It's just hard, because, I would normally never find myself in this situation to begin with. I'm not… well, I don't think I am. You know." 

She mouthed the word gay. 

He nodded. "I don't really like labels, for reasons I could expound at great length. But bottom line – it's just Ja — just him." 

Janet used her spoon to scrape up the last swirls of chocolate at the bottom of her mug. "Hm. I understand that. Human sexuality is never simple. There are tons of factors involved, as tests have shown. More than that, it sounds like a… like a spiritual thing." 

He had a hard time putting the words Jack and spiritual in the same sentence. "You think?" 

"Yeah. You two are opposites, but you're so… I dunno, simpatico." She snapped her fingers. 

Simpatico? Yes. It fit. 

"Yeah. And I don't know what to do about it." He sighed heavily. Simpatico…. 

Janet smirked. "I think you should get him to drive you home more often." 

"Janet!" 

"Daniel!" Cheeky grin. 

"Jack!" Jack said in the same tone, appearing from nowhere and shortening Daniel's life span by who knows how many years. 

"H-hey!" Daniel sputtered. 

"Is this a private lunch or can an old colonel butt in?" Jack smiled at him. Somewhat possessively. 

"Sit down, Colonel," Janet invited, patting the chair between Daniel and herself. 

Jack sat. Janet beamed. Daniel breathed. Very carefully…. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

SG-1 comes through the gate to a room that looks like a reject set from one of those seventies movies about Greek Gods. There are lots of random red curtains hanging from the ceiling and a plethora of weird alien gadgets. Jack is just waiting for the spinning light-ball and Bee Gees at this point.

He does a quick threat-assessment, but no one is home. "Looks like somebody's closed for the winter, hmm?" 

They look around the room, the wonder twins drooling over all the cool… er, doohickeys. 

"Teal'c, is this Goa'uld technology?" Carter asks. 

"These devices are unfamiliar to me." Big guy sweeps the room with his glance. 

She picks up a computerized notepad and switches it on. "Oh, this is interesting." 

It's on the tip of Jack's tongue to tell his kids to be careful about touching stuff, when Daniel heads towards one of the sheer curtains and says, "I wonder what's in there?" 

" _I_ am in there," an old voice says. 

Jack's on it, weapon ready, when an ancient-looking, crotchety, old man appears. He considers making a crack about Argosian love pizza, but that wouldn't be funny to anyone but him. 

"I am unarmed," the old guy says. 

"Who are you?" Jack asks suspiciously. Because that's what Jack does. 

Teal'c approaches the man. "You are the one called Ma'chello, are you not?" 

The old man squints. "Do I know you?" 

"You do not, but I have seen images of you; although your face had not seen as many years, it was you." Teal'c turns to Jack and Daniel. "Since before I was born, this man has been a fugitive from the System Lords. One of my first assignments as First Prime of Apophis was to hunt this man." 

Wow. That's kinda cool. The fugitive part; not the hunting part. 

Daniel frowns in that cute Daniel way. "What did he do?" 

"He was developing advanced technology to battle the Goa'uld. He was captured and tortured. The System Lords marked him to become a Goa'uld host, so his knowledge could be retained. Before the ceremony of implantation, he killed several Jaffa and escaped." 

Fabulous! Jack's kind of guy! But, uh, not exactly living up to the image… "He did that?" 

The old guy dotters and shuffles forward. "I am not this person you speak of; you are mistaken." 

Daniel slides the fella a look. "Um, you don't have to be afraid; we're not Goa'ulds." 

"We're not? Of course we are not! Then, if we are not Goa'ulds, who are we?" the man blinks. 

Oh Christ. Here they go. 

"Well, I'm — I'm Daniel Jackson, from the planet Earth." 

Grandpa over there nods. "Yes, Yes! That's right! I am Daniel Jackson from the planet Earth, pleased to meet you." 

Oh, they've got a winner on their hands. 

"No, I'm — I'm — I'm Daniel Jackson." 

"No, _I'm_ Daniel Jackson," the old guy argues. 

Jack looks to the ceiling. 

Carter decides to bail Daniel out. "Er, these are very interesting machines. Are they inventions to fight the Goa'uld?" 

The fella latches onto whatever they're saying now. "Yes, inventions to fight the Goa'uld!" 

Daniel gives a little half-grin. "Well, do ya… do ya — do you think you could show us how they work?" 

Mr. Missing Marbles frowns at Daniel. "Are we _sure_ we are not Goa'uld?" 

Jesus Christ. Jack's going to eat his hat before the end of this interview. 

Daniel nods. 

Ma'chello… if that is who he is… points to Daniel. "You, you! You, here quickly, inventions to fight the Goa'uld." He takes the sheet off of a strange device that looks like an amputated jet-ski; then he holds the handles on one end and Daniel hold the handles on the other side. 

Jack doesn't like it. Know idea why, but the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.… 

The device makes a noise, then Ma'chello collapses. 

"Daniel!" Carter calls. 

Jack jumps forward to make sure Daniel isn't going to collapse too. 

"I'm fine, I think." Daniel blinks, looks down at Ma'chello. "Are you alright, sir?" 

Carter rushes over to check the old guy out. "He's got a pulse." 

Great. Poor old guy. Better bring him back. Jack hopes Hammond won't chew him out for always dragging strays home. "Carter, why don't you dial us out of here? Teal'c, grab the gentleman. Let's take him back to the base." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Janet examines Daniel in the infirmary. She's run every test she can think of on both Daniel and the old man.

"Well, everything seems fine.…" But her instincts keep nagging her, so she checks his file again. "Yep, all your numbers are normal." 

"Good," Daniel says. "I feel fine." 

That's good. She's been worried about him. "Yeah? You just, you seem a little out of it.… Daniel, is something bothering you?" Something about Colonel O'Neill? Or something about the alien technology? 

"No. I'm just exhausted." 

She nods. He hasn't been sleeping well on his own. "Well, that's not unusual for someone who just received a high voltage electric shock. Any idea what that machine was supposed to do?" 

He shakes his head in reply. 

She sighs. Perhaps he just needs some time to straighten things out. "Okay, well, if you're not back to normal in a couple of days, you let me know." 

Daniel gets off of the bed. 

"Oh, wait a minute; I don't want you driving for a couple of days." She winks. 

"All right," Daniel says, like he has no idea what she's talking about. 

"Okay." 

As Daniel leaves, he looks at the old man in the next bed. "How is he?" 

She's not gonna sugar-coat it; Daniel wouldn't appreciate it anyway. "Not good. He has severe scar tissue all over his body. Looks like he was burned or electrocuted. My guess is he was tortured." Poor man. 

"He's not going to live much longer, is he?" Despondent. Cool. 

"I don't think so." 

Daniel doesn't say anything, just walks out. Janet thinks that's odd. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack sits through the briefing, but he's impatient to draw Daniel aside and see how he's doing. Even George thinks the young man is acting funny. He goes to Hammond's office to ask about it, but the general says Daniel insisted he's just tired and asked to go home for some rest.

Which should have been his first clue, because Daniel would willingly rest the day after hell freezes over. His second clue was that Daniel didn't ask Jack to drive him home. They both hated asking the lower-ranking Airmen for favors. Daniel especially hated it, as it drove a deeper divide between the servicemen and the civilian. 

Still, Daniel had said he wanted space, so Jack just goes to his office, pretends to do some paperwork, and is surprised when Hammond summons the team to the infirmary. 

"You called, sir?" Did he ever mention how much he hates hospitals? 

Ma'chello sighs. "Jack, Sam, Teal'c! Finally." 

O…kay. "How does this gentleman know our names?" he asks the general. 

"As I've been trying to tell the general and the good doctor here," Ma'chello glances at them with a certain amount of annoyance, "I am not Ma'chello; I am Daniel Jackson." 

"Oh, here we go," Jack mutters. 

"I realize what I look like, but I'm telling you that machine somehow switched us," Ma'chello insists in that long, nasal drawl of his. 

Fraiser seems uneasy. "He, er, knows a lot about Daniel." 

"Ask me anything; something only Daniel would know," the old guy demands. 

Okay. What's the most sensitive spot on Daniel's body? When was the last time they kissed? What does he moan when Jack drills into him? Oops. Okay. No, not on base.… 

"Okay, who's Cassandra?" Carter asks. 

"She's a twelve-year-old girl we found abandoned on P8X-987." 

Christ, even he didn't remember the planet's number. "P8X...?" He looks to Carter. 

She nods. "— 987, yeah." 

Yeah, okay, that doesn't mean anything. He could have read that in a computer or overheard Fraiser talk about it. "All right, lucky guess." Yeah, it sounds stupid to his own ears. 

George breaks in. "Where was the Stargate found?" 

"At a dig in Giza." The old guy wheezes. 

This is too weird. It can't be about the program, because that information could be on base somewhere. It has to be personal. "All right… describe for me… the dress your sister wore last week, when I took her out." Jack folds his arms. 

The man takes a deep breath. "I don't _have_ a sister, Jack, and if I did I wouldn't let _you_ near her." There's a twinkle in those eyes. 

He looks to Carter. That's Daniel all right. 

George frowns. "Okay, lets assume for a moment that you are Daniel Jackson; then who the hell did we just send home?" 

Oh _shit_. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jack and George grill Fraiser for explanations about what is happening to Daniel. George gets testy because he loves Daniel like a son and because he knows how deep they're in it by letting Ma'chello just walk out.

Jack… because it's _Daniel_. 

"Well, sir," she says, "medically speaking, he is an elderly gentleman suffering from acute pulmonary damage, with the conscious awareness and memory of Dr. Daniel Jackson." 

"How?" the general asks. Good question. 

"Well, I can't tell you the method used to do it, General, but I can tell you that our personality, our memory, our conscious selves, are derived from unique networks of neurons in the cerebral cortex; somehow Daniel's networks were remapped onto the old man's by that alien device." 

Fear. Real fear. "So this could be a one-way deal, right?" 

She frowns. "I'm not following, sir." 

"We don't know that it went both ways; Daniel could still be... Daniel." Please God, let Daniel still be in Daniel. Please don't let this Daniel start spouting off about their… relationship. 

George presses his lips together. "His doorman said he never came into the building after he was dropped off." 

Okay. Okay. Don't panic. "There you go; let's find him." They've got to fix this. The Daniel they've got here is suffering from a heart-failure-thingy and whoever is out there is walking around in Daniel's body. Jack has to fix it _now_. 

"And what if he isn't Daniel?" Carter asks. 

Shoot him? No, Jack doesn't think he could just do that. 

Hammond shakes his head. "We're going to have to prepare for that possibility. Dr. Fraiser?" 

"Sir, this, er, problem is beyond my expertise." Janet's been interlocking and twisting her fingers for the past ten minutes. She's clearly worried about Daniel too. "I'm going to have to consult with some neuro-specialists, sir." 

Jack eyes George. Consult with whomever, his looks says; this has to get fixed. 

"Do it," George orders. 

"General, wouldn't it be a little easier if we just went back, got this machine, and tried to slam it into reverse?" he asks. 

Yeah, see, that's a good idea. Listen to him. Like he has a clue what's going on. 

"All right, Colonel; retrieve it, but consider that device hazardous material. Prepare yourself accordingly." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So they head back to the planet with the room with the random red curtains, this time decked out in their hazmat suits. Carter comes across the chair-device-thingy that's been keeping Ma'chello alive this long. He'd like to take it back for Daniel, see if it can't hibernate him until they fix this, but they don't have time to figure out how it works….

So on his order, he and Teal'c pick up the body-switching device and…. 

Whoosh. 

Jack's looking at himself… through Teal'c's eyes. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

George is very hopeful when he sees Jack and the others bring back the device. "How did it go, Colonel?"

Jack says, "It did not go well, General Hammond." 

"Ya think!" Teal'c squawks. 

General Hammond looks at the three of them; Captain Carter has the good sense to look sheepish. 

Well… well, just crap. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Teal'c is not… accustomed to this. O'Neill's body is older than his. Or rather, _feels_ older than his. The knees ache. Other things ache too, but Teal'c does not think it honorable to contemplate it. "This is indeed uncomfortable."

"How do ya think I feel, Teal'c?" he watches himself say. "I've got a snake in my gut. You've got a comfortable, normal body." 

He raises his eyebrow. "It is normal to you, O'Neill; having a symbiote within is normal to me." He feels… empty. 

"Yeah, well, whatever, it's bad, okay?" 

Captain Carter walks in. "Hey." 

"Have they located Dr. Jackson?" 

"No, they're still looking. The good news is I've found the switching device on Ma'chello's computer; problem is, all of the notations are in that strange dialect." Captain Carter cocks her head. "You know, when you think about it, it's actually kind of a good thing that this happened…. I mean, I can experiment with the two of you and then when they find Daniel — Ma'chello — we can, er, reverse the process, assuming of course that it's re —" 

"Captain," O'Neill interrupts with his booming voice, "can we just get on with this?" 

"Right, well, er, I couldn't find any buttons or switches, so unless I've missed something, it must be triggered by the handles themselves. I think that we should try different ways of grasping the handles. First let's just try grasping it normally, the same way you did before." 

So they do that. 

"Nope, still got Junior," O'Neill says. 

"All right, er, all right, um, maybe there's an in and an out handle; switch sides." Captain Carter folds her arms. 

O'Neill and Teal'c spin the device around so they have the opposite handles from the last time, and again, the machine activates. 

Teal'c sighs. "We did not make progress." 

Captain Carter frowns in a most… adorable manner. "Okay, um, maybe it has something to do with the order you grab the handles." 

Teal'c has a feeling this will indeed take quite some time. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

It's hot. Hot like the damned desert. No, more muggy. Like a rainforest. Jack's whole body feels… nauseated. Saturated. Heavy.

"I'm not feeling so hot," he tells Teal'c. 

"What are you feeling, O'Neill?" Jack watches his own body say. 

"All of a sudden, Junior's moving around a lot in there." And it feels _weird_. He feels pregnant, and he's sorry, but he's just not into that sort of thing, no matter how odd the alien mojo. 

"This likely means my body has contracted an illness my symbiote must repair." 

Isn't that peachy? 

"Illness, great." Carter says that. Since when did she develop a sense of sarcasm? 

Teal'c says, "It is common; the symbiote will remedy the problem." 

Yeah, fine. Let them get to the remedying part. "Okay, when?" 

"It can only accomplish its work if you put your body into a state of Kel-No-Reem." 

What. The fuck. Is that. Supposed to mean. To him? "Translation, Teal'c." 

"Similar to a state of hibernation." 

"Meditation?" Carter asks. 

What? Like what Daniel was doing? 

Teal'c does that bowing thing. "Perhaps, but I sense much deeper than that of any human meditation. It is imperative that you do this, O'Neill, or my body will be as if it has no immune system." 

And that would suck. "Okay, tell me what to do," he says wearily. 

So they go to Teal'c's room, where Teal'c lights candles, and Jack looks at himself – or at Teal'c, rather – in the mirror. Okay, he'll admit it. He's a stud. Lots of muscles. Teal'c is in _excellent_ shape. Jack was never a spaghetti-Eddy, but he's never been in such prime physical condition. 

Except for the feeling-like-shit part. 

"You don't look so good…. I mean I don't look so good." Things are getting blurry around the edge of his vision and Jack may not have a degree in medicine but he knows that's bad. 

"You will become increasingly ill as long as my symbiote does not have the opportunity to make the necessary repair." 

He sits down heavily in a hard chair. "So you're telling me this is just gonna get worse?" 

"If you do not perform Kel-No-Reem, it could lead to my death. Rather, your death." 

Oh. Well, wonderful. No pressure then. "What do I do?" 

So Teal'c spends the afternoon teaching Jack how to Kel-No-Reem. It's hard for him. He spends most of his energy burying things every day. Now he has to go through all the layers, make all the noise in his head quiet, and – here's the hardest part – commune with the larval snake in his gut. 

Peachy. Just _peachy_. 

"Very good, O'Neill." 

He cracks open an eye. "It is? I'm not feeling any better." 

"You have not yet reached Kel-No-Reem." 

Kel-No-Reem. Sounds like some damned basketball player. Or an ice cream sundae. Waiter, bring out a Kel-No-Reem, please. Whipped cream and a cherry on top. "So, how do I do it?" Folds his legs and sighs. 

"Relax; concentrate. You must imagine the center of your mind and focus. Allow it to take you into a waking sleep; there you will dream. When you do so, you will be in harmony with the symbiote. Your subconscious minds will be as one. At that moment, you will have achieved Kel-No-Reem. Here, the symbiote will receive information necessary to repair your sickness." 

Jack grits his teeth. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

"It's useless," Daniel moans. Hospital beds hurt his sore back. It feels like he was tortured just yesterday. He really can't believe this is happening. Was this how Jack felt on Argos? So… exhausted and slow. So scared.

"No, it's not," Sam encourages. "You've already figured out that it's a mixture of ancient Latin and Greek; we're getting closer." 

She's a good friend, but Daniel doesn't think she understands how _tired_ he is. "That's obvious because of the forms; the alphabets may be the same but it's an entirely original language. There's no sentence structure, there's no.…" 

The heart monitor beeps as Daniel gets wound up. Which would make sense because of all the little green and red spots he's seeing. 

"Take it easy." Sam looks very concerned when the beeping continues. He wants to reassure her, but he blacks out. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

About a half-hour later, Jack finishes Kel-No-Reeming. It reminds him of the sixties. A little. He didn't really do drugs. Not until the early nineties, after Iraq. But he remembers feeling weightless, like in water, and he remembers a strange, warm glow; that's the only way he can think about it. Like he was on another level or something.

"Whoa, sweet." He glances around the sparse room. "Teal'c?" Gets up, goes to the bathroom where Teal'c is _cutting_ his hair. Jack's hair! "What are you doing?" 

He though the gray made him look distinguished, geez! 

Teal'c has a pair of scissors in Jack's hands and is looking in the mirror. "If I am to remain in this body, I must shave my head." 

Like hell. "You're making a joke, right?" 

"I am not joking." 

"Teal'c, you will not shave my head!" What will Daniel run his fingers through the next time he kisses Jack? And there _will_ be a next time, dammit. 

"It is presently _my_ head, O'Neill." 

Not if he cuts it off! "Teal'c, this is temporary." 

He never realized how… exasperating he could look. "And if it is not?" 

He sighs. "Just give them a chance to find Daniel, okay?" Or, Ma'chello. Ma'chello in Daniel. This is all very confusing. Just put the scissors down. "Teal'c, I'm going to see General Hammond. Promise me you won't touch… the head… until I get back." Teal'c nods and Jack goes off in search of George. 

Hammond puts the phone down as Jack enters his office. 

"Sir, I feel like I need to be involved in finding Daniel." For obvious reasons not so obvious to anyone else. 

"Well, I think we may have him, son," George says. Jack tries not to bask in the affection. "Daniel's credit card was just used at a local diner." 

A diner? Bet it was the one Jack took him to for pizza, but they both ended up getting something else. Things never go as planned, not even the little things.… 

"Request permission to go there, sir." 

"Denied," George says, clipped. "You'll remain here until they bring him in. Be patient, Colonel." 

God damn it. "I can't be patient, sir; Daniel is _dying_ and I'd rather we get to Ma'chello than some yahoo civy-officer shooting him and blowing any chances we have of saving him." God, the thought of all the bad shit that could happen to Daniel's body right now…. 

"As much as I'd like to, you're not exactly yourself. Request denied." 

Jack bites his tongue to keep quiet. Literally bites it, until he registers the metallic taste of blood. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

White.

Daniel can hear the noise in the infirmary, but he's eyelids are so heavy.… 

Sam's there. She's almost in tears. He can hear her sniffle. "Come on, Daniel. They've found the guy, they're bringing him in; you have to wake up." She walks to his bedside, takes his hand. "Daniel, you can't die on me now." 

He smiles with his eyes closed. "It's nice to know you don't just like me for my looks." 

"Hey," Sam says softly. "Janet!" 

Janet walks over to him. It's like he's got two sisters looming over him. "Well, it is good to have you back, Dr. Jackson. You have impeccable timing." She looks to Sam. "Sam, they're on their way in; you should get that machine of his in here." 

Sam nods and kisses Daniel on the head. He never realized he's so… loved…. 

Especially when he learns that Sam goes to bat for him and convinces Ma'chello to come and see him, to try to reverse the process. 

Daniel looks up at his own body and it's weird. Not like looking in a mirror, but rather like watching a home movie. Is this how Jack sees him? "Well, from what I can see, you're looking... good." 

He watches himself sneer. Just a curl of lip and Daniel can tell it's a totally different animal he's dealing with here. "What would you like me to say? I am sorry? That I wish I could undo it? I do not." 

And what has Daniel done to deserve this? "Why?" 

"Why?" Ma'chello seems surprised. "Because I earned it, that's why. I earned it because I sacrificed my life for you and your people. The least you could do is compensate me with another." 

Ah. And just like that, all his knowledge, his experiences… his quest for Sha're… Jack… judged unworthy. "What right do you have to judge the value of my life?" 

"I have suffered, more than anyone should suffer in a lifetime; for fifty _years_ I fought against the Goa'uld, then I was betrayed by my wife, whom they secretly turned into a host." 

And it hurts. A little less than it did last year, but not by much. "So is mine; she's still with them." 

Ma'chello pauses. "At least you still have a planet and friends; two billion of my people died rather than surrender me to the Goa'uld." He says this with… pride. And pain. 

"You have made great sacrifices. We owe you gratitude. But still it does not give you the right to take another's life." 

"If you had the technology, you would do the same." 

He shakes his head and even that small movement makes him dizzy. He can feel his heart fading away. "No, I wouldn't, because then I would become no better than the Goa'uld." 

"I am _not_ a Goa'uld; I _hate_ the Goa'uld!" 

Daniel takes a deep breath. "The Goa'uld use hosts because they think they are better than humans, because they believe they deserve it. You're a _Goa'uld_ , Ma'chello. I am nothing but a host to you." He's angry now. He doesn't want to die like this. 

"I am not a Goa'uld!" 

Daniel boils over. "My wife is still alive; there is a chance I could still save her. You are stealing that chance!" 

And the damning thing is, a small part of Daniel wants him to. _Wants_ him to. 

"Even if you still had this body, you will never find her," Ma'chello insists. 

It breaks his heart. "No, I will find her, I will find —" 

He can feel it then; his heart just gives out. Cold blackness. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he comes to, they are playing musical chairs with their bodies. Jack and Ma'chello trade, so that Jack is in Daniel's body. And if it were possible to get an erection out of that old clunker of a body, he just might have. And Daniel needs to someday address his Narcissism, perhaps when he's heart's not about to give out.

"How do you feel, physically?" Sam asks Jack. 

"Peachy." 

Then Daniel switches with Teal'c, so that he's in Jack's body and Teal'c is in Ma'chello's. 

"Whoa, what a dream! What happened?" he asks. He feels… wow, his knees…. His reaction to seeing himself! 

"I don't have time to explain right now, Daniel, just bear with me," Sam says. 

"Okay," he says, crossing his hands over his lap and looking down at Jack's body. Damn, is he going to require some kind of sex therapy? Seriously. Daniel can bend, he's pretty flexible where sexual identity is concerned, but this is just too weird. 

He looks at Ma'chello – or Teal'c rather – and wonders what all he's missed. 

"Danny boy." A sharp whistle. He turns around to see himself. Or rather, Jack, who beckons him with a crooked finger. 

"Jack?" 

"I wish I had time to teach you the symbols. In your hands my inventions could go on fighting the Goa'uld," Ma'chello says, in Teal'c's body. 

Ma'chello switches with Teal'c. 

Jack puts his arm around Daniel. "Our turn." They grab the machine's handles, feel the pulse and throbbing sensation, and swap bodies. 

"Yes! Yes!" Jack shouts, and then glares at Teal'c. "Shave my head! Eeezh." He pats Teal'c on the pouch. 

"I'm back," Daniel says, but no one seems to hear him. 

Fraiser looks over at Ma'chello. "He's conscious again." 

"Thank you for my holiday," the old man says to Daniel. And even now, Daniel feels pity for him. He secretly hopes he never gets to live _that_ long. 

A matter of seconds and Ma'chello's heart gives out. Janet closes his eyes and switches the monitor off. 

"Welcome back, SG-1," Hammond says. 

A long silence. He hugs Sam and Janet and smiles at Teal'c. Then he looks to Jack. "Drive me home?" he says quietly. 

Jack nods. "Yeah, sure." 

~*~


	41. Un Gradus Falsus

**41\. Un Gradus Falsus**

 

 

 

 

 

It was a warm night. The kind where Jack could roll his windows down and feel comfortable driving slightly over the speed limit, because doing it picked up a nice breeze. Per the younger man's request, Jack took Daniel home.

Even walked him up to his apartment. Strange smells in the hallway – someone was cooking dinner, a term he'd use loosely. 

Jack watched Daniel carefully. He seemed… slightly older. There was purpose in his gait – like every step was being carefully measured. Which Jack supposed was to be expected, when one just comes out of trading bodies with a gazillion-year-old man. 

Frankly, he was concerned Daniel might let their job start to get him run-down. 

"Hey. You okay?" Held out a hand, wrapped it around Daniel's arm. 

"Yeah. Just a little tired." 

"You want me to stay? Just to stay?" Jack raised his eyebrows. 

Daniel shook his head. "No, I'm good. I…. Don't take this wrong, but I kinda want some space." Daniel points to his noggin. "Too much going on upstairs for one day." 

Jack nodded simply. Daniel and his space. "Okay. Hey, come here." Pulled Daniel into a hug. Because he's not so good with words, that's Daniel's thing, but… but touching, that was okay. That was a territory he had mapped. 

Daniel returned the hug and, admittedly, it went on a little too long. They stood a little too close. Daniel _pressed_ flush up against him – not a buddy hug, but something with a hint of sex in it. 

He ran his hand down Daniel's lower back, pressing him closer, and just breathed in. He knew he was taking advantage, but Daniel smelled so good and would probably taste even better — 

But the younger man stepped back. Before he could lose his courage, Jack grabbed Daniel's face and planted a quick kiss on his forehead, then headed for the door. "Be good. Get sleep." 

"Yes, dad." 

"Okay," Jack said softly, leaving. 

Jack could take care of himself later; he wasn't really frustrated… sexually. Meaning, he was _used_ to being on his own. What grated on his nerves was the fact that Daniel was resisting the… the emotional intimacy as well… which even thinking about was disturbing on so many levels. 

Jack _missed_ Daniel. Jack had been missing Daniel probably all his life, if he wanted to get ridiculously sappy about it. 

Time. He supposed Daniel needed time. And answers about Sha're. 

And Jack could wait. Because despite all appearances, he could be patient when it served his purpose. Very patient. 

So he went home. Grabbed a beer from the fridge, squeezed the top off – enjoying the little metal teeth as they bit into the edge of his fingers – and plopped down on the couch. Thought about – what else? Daniel. Didn't take long before the flat of his palm stroked down over his belly, ghosted across the top of his jeans. 

A long, slow pull of cold liquid from the bottle, gulped it down, and then the snap of his fly opening – sounding like a cannon to his ears. 

Daniel, under him. Moaning. Rocking. Begging for it. Daniel, crying on his shoulder, wrapped up in a hug, all promises and moonlight and shirts far too big for his slender frame. Daniel's breathy voice encouraging Jack to just shed the skin he'd been wearing for way too many years and be nameless, unbound, free. 

Daniel's breath, panting out onto his neck, his chest; nails raking little slices over his ribs; half-moons dug into his back as Jack rolled and snapped his hips slowly back and forth. The tip of Daniel's tongue laving at his prick. The way the younger man latched onto him during sex, wrapping arms and legs around him, wet and feverish, straining and crying out, wanton and totally unabashed and new, but just so damned familiar. 

Blue, blue eyes, and a wicked smile, and come that tasted both bitter and sweet. 

"Daniel," he whispered, shuddering violently, spilling over his own hand. Like flying. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two weeks later, Jack watches them launch a UAV through the wormhole to PJ2-445. He loves this stuff. Always loved flying. Loved model airplanes. Loved… the exploration inherent in flight. Wanted to touch the face of God, that kind of stuff.

Except right now it looks like they're going to touch the face of that rock formation if Carter can't navigate any better than that. 

"Come on, Captain. Pull it up," he orders her. It's not like her to mess up something so simple. 

"I can't, sir." 

The craft crashes into a white, puffy mass and then the picture turns to static. They do some speculating – figure it crashed into a plant. Visual contact is reestablished and oh – the UAV looks down for the count. 

Geez, that had to cost some serious dough. "Uh, we didn't… _need_ that UAV, did we, sir?" he asks George. Hopes Carter won't get in trouble for this. 

George purses his lips. 

Then Carter says, "Uh… I need the flight recorder, sir, to determine why the controls failed. Estimated distance from the gate is ten miles." 

Oh great. Nothing like a fun little ten-mile jaunt. "Oy. Six hours there and back." Jack's eye is drawn to the screen. A little… powdered-sugarcoated… naked man… runs in front of the camera, kneels down, and studies the fallen UAV. 

" _That_ would confirm the presence of life forms on PJ2-445," Carter says. 

Ya think? 

And then the Little Alien That Could starts dragging the UAV away. 

"Well… I guess that changes the priority of this mission, eh, sir?" Jack shrugs. George looks at him for a moment and then nods. 

He can't wait to tell Daniel. Little, powdered, naked life forms. Daniel's going to cream his pants over trying to learn their language and customs or whatever. And it gives him an excuse to actually go down to Daniel's lab and strike up a conversation. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel is excited. This is his favorite part of the job – going to new worlds and meeting new cultures. He's been so caught up in Jack and Sha're and himself, he sometimes forgets the bigger picture. The meaning of life stuff.

They gate on over to the planet arrive in the familiar field, surrounded by short trees. "Déjà vu," he mutters. 

"I am unfamiliar with that term," Teal'c says. 

Oh, of course. Why would he be? Hm, how to explain? "Um, it means I feel like I've been here before." 

Teal'c raises his eyebrow. "That is correct, Daniel Jackson. Yesterday. When we first arrived on this planet." 

Ah, yeah. That fell flat, didn't it? "Right. What was I thinking?" And then he feels it. Right behind his eyes, moving on down, oh crap — "Ah-choo!" 

Jack gives him a quick once-over. "Bless." 

Damn allergies. This is his least favorite part of the job – going to new worlds and coming in contact with new flora. 

"I'm not picking up the locating beacon on the UAV, but the crash site should be this way," Sam says, heading south. 

Can't believe Jack made them check this place out yesterday before looking for the aliens. The man is so paranoid! "You know, I thought the alien on the video looked fairly docile — more curious than harmful." 

Jack shrugs. "I thought it looked… bald, white, and naked." 

Which is basically Jack's way of conceding the point. 

Eventually they come to the crash site, where the damaged plant lies on the ground. It leaks a bright, green fluid. Sam takes a sample. Daniel doesn't really care. He wants to see a bald, white, naked alien. 

Well. Who doesn't? 

"Kinda weird, huh?" Jack says to no one in particular. He turns to Sam. "Captain, why don't you start —" 

But Sam mows on over him, which makes Daniel hide a smile. "Sir, plant life on Earth accounts for more than eighty-percent of our medicinal resources. We should really check it out." 

Jack sighs. "Check it out." 

Well, if Sam gets to play then so does he. He starts taking video footage of a smaller white plant, budding close to the ground. "These other ones must not be full-grown, I guess… Ah-choo!" Damn it! 

"Bless." 

Oh, he can just feel the mucous start to flow. Bet that makes him real attractive. "Oh, boy." Daniel reaches into his vest pocket and pulls out a blister pack of antihistamines. 

"The UAV was dragged in that direction," Teal'c says, just heading off without even waiting for the order. 

Daniel looks to Jack. They've all become so familiar with each other. Orders just seem… insulting by this point. 

"And that direction it is," Jack says jovially. 

They walk. And walk. And walk. Daniel is used to going off the beaten path, but he's not like Jack or Sam or Teal'c – not so much with the athletics. And the blisters. And the sweat. 

They come across more of those white plants and a group of what looks like twig-igloos. Jack scans the village for the aliens using his special binoculars. 

"Dwellings," Daniel says happily. 

Jack nods. "Lots of 'em." As if he is counter-planning an assault or something. Daniel resists the urge to roll his eyes. He squints to get a closer look at the huts. 

Sam reaches over and pats Daniel, who looks in her direction and sees a little man standing there. Slowly, Daniel turns to Jack, who is still looking through his binoculars. Daniel lightly touches the man's arm. 

"Um, Jack," he says softly, not wanting to raise any alarm. 

"Yeah?" Jack's not looking at him. Jack's ignoring him. He's been doing a lot of that lately. Hasn't said more than two words before coming to tell Daniel about this planet. 

Daniel pinches Jack's jacket sleeve and tugs at it, then clears his throat when he fails to get the older man's attention. 

Jack lowers the binoculars and gruffly replies, "What?" 

Then Jack stiffens when he sees it. Looks at the alien with the binoculars. The alien mimics his stance, cupping his fingers around his eyes as if he were raising binoculars. 

How wonderful! Intelligent life! 

Daniel raises a hand in greeting. "Hi." 

The alien is startled and runs off toward the village, making a strange shrieking noise. 

Jack watches him go, then turns to Daniel for some sort of explanation. 

"Well, I guess that was the wrong thing to say." 

Once the alien reaches his village, lots of other aliens come out to see what all the fuss is about. He sincerely hopes he didn't just start a massive panic. 

Jack sighs. "What do you think, Daniel? Are they… friendly spirits?" 

Jack is asking him for his opinion – for a threat assessment – and tempted as Daniel is to immediately say yes, these are friendly spirits, when Jack asks him something, he wants to get it right. "I guess we should go find out." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

To be honest, these little, bald, naked guys seem kinda cute. Child-like almost. That's usually when they bare their razorsharp teeth and eat the flesh from one's bones, but Jack is willing to do the talking thing before the shooting thing. He's in a good mood today; had eaten his Wheaties. After all, their first priority is to establish contact, maybe hash out a treaty. Then they have to get the UAV and bring it back for study. Carter and Daniel will probably want to play with the flora and fauna, and as long as the bald, naked guys play nice, he's all for it.

Daniel, of course, is in his element. They walk into the center of the village and the little guys surround them, and immediately Daniel starts in with the introductions and tells them to smile. 

SG-1 smiles. 

Jack feels stupid. 

At least he doesn't seem to have as much difficulty as Teal'c. When Teal'c smiles, he looks constipated. 

"This is bizarre," Jack says quietly. 

The aliens surround them and get closer and closer. It's like they want a group hug or something. 

"Uh, Daniel—" Carter says, slightly freaked. 

"Keep smiling. Don't move," Daniel tells them. 

Okay. Daniel's the expert here, so Jack can go out on a limb and avoid the impulse to reach for his rifle. For now. Oh, they're touching. Bad touch. Bad touch! 

"I am not fond of this," the big guy says. 

"Me neither," Jack agrees. 

"They just wanna see what we feel like." 

Literally. Daniel doesn't seem to have a problem with being groped by strangers. Which is ironic, since he has a big problem with being groped by Jack. Jack has been so hard up and lonely lately, he's actually thought about just going over to Daniel's apartment and jumping his bones. He _knows_ Daniel wants him, he's just hung up on the technicalities. 

He sighs. Well, a wife was a pretty big technicality. Normally Jack would never entertain the idea of adultery. But… but it was _Daniel_ , dammit. His alien wife was possessed by an evil snake! The situation was far from normal. Hell, their affair was the closest thing to normal either of them have. 

"Oh, hey! Wait!" Daniel calls franticly. 

"What?" Jack says, alarmed. 

Daniel smiles shakily. "One of them got my knife." 

His finger goes instinctively towards his trigger. 

"I got it," Carter says. Slowly, she moves past Jack and reaches the… boy… who is studying the blade. "Hey, there. Hi. That's not for you. It's very dangerous. Could I have it back, please?" She gently holds out her hand. Reluctantly, the young one starts to return it. 

Daniel sneezes and the alien is stunned by the noise. He jerks back and accidentally cuts Carter's hand before dropping it. "Agh!" 

Sam! Shit. How bad is she cut? Jack looks her over while all the aliens back away, afraid. 

"It… It's just a sneeze," Daniel says pathetically. 

Whatever. "Carter, how's your hand?" 

"It'll be all right, sir." She's sucking it up, he can tell. 

Teal'c looks around. "I have never before encountered such a species." 

Of freaks? Yeah, neither has he. 

Daniel takes off his vest, preparing to join the aliens. "I'm going to try and communicate again." 

Uh… well… that makes him a tad uneasy. "Want some company?" 

Daniel eyes him and his rifle. "I think it'll be less intimidating if I go alone." 

Fine. Whatever. If they're scared off by a sneeze than Daniel most likely isn't going to get the flesh eaten from his bones on this trip. "All right. Find out what you can about the UAV." 

Daniel nods. "Okay." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel heads into one of the dwellings – which are surprisingly empty of any possessions, beds, or partitions – and spends the better part of the day trying to communicate with the aliens. They have no written or oral language, no sign language that he can tell of, and they seem to be… totally innocent. Like children. It makes him feel… protective of them.

Which is kind of new for him, because he's never been in a position to protect anyone. 

He draws stick figures in the dirt, but the others merely draw squiggles. If that's a language, he hasn't a hope of understanding without some clue in the form of speech or a Rosetta stone. 

Daniel takes off his glasses and sighs. Suddenly, one of the aliens raises his finger and paints a line from the tip of Daniel's nose across his right cheek. It's cold and thick. The creature dips his finger again and runs the paint from Daniel's left cheek to his chin. 

Puzzled, Daniel nods. "Thank you." 

The hairs on the back of his neck rise – like he can feel Jack's impatience. Better find out what happened to the UAV. He jogs around the perimeter of the room, arms outstretched while he makes motor sounds in imitation of the UAV. The aliens all watch him as he slows to a halt and finally stops. He gazes at them to see if there is any recognition, but the aliens look at each other then back at Daniel. 

Okay. That sucked. 

Daniel walks out of the dwelling and joins his team. "Well, they're not naked. They're covered with something." He sits down next to Jack and rubs at the paint on his face. "Look, it's, uh, it's some sort of body paint that hardens into a second skin when it dries…." 

Jack looks like he couldn't care less. 

Daniel has to wonder how they go to the bathroom. "Well, I have to admit this is one of the stranger cultures I've ever seen. As far as I can tell, they're communal, but there's very little sign of actual of social communication. I haven't seen any tools or signs of a functional civilization." 

Jack says somewhat snidely, "So, they're a little less evolved than we are." 

Daniel frowns. "Well, we don't wanna jump to any conclusions. Remember the Nox." 

Sam nods and backs him up. "And they did build these… homes." 

Jack smiles. "That's a kind appraisal." 

Jesus, sometimes he wants to shake Jack. 

One of the aliens steps out of the dwelling and looks at them. Jack rakes it with his gaze. "What about the UAV?" 

Daniel watches the aliens file out of the dwelling. "Well, I've tried everything I know about rudimentary communication. And, to be honest, I've had more successful conversations with _dogs_." 

Jack cocks his head and holds out his hands. "So —" 

Time to concede. "So they're probably a little less evolved than we are." 

Jack looks past Teal'c.… The aliens are hauling the UAV to them. SG-1 gets up and goes to where they set it down on the ground. 

They understood him! Yes yes yes! "Yes!" 

One of the aliens stretches his arms out, as Daniel had. 

"Yes! The…the…the…the…." Daniel raises his arms too. "Yes! Thank you. This is a major breakthrough.…" 

One of the aliens who'd been carrying the UAV is rubbing at black residue on his hand. Daniel sneezes again and it startles them, "I'm sorry. This is, uh…. This is nothing to worry about." 

The alien with the black residue on his hand suddenly collapses. 

SG-1 look at each other and Sam goes over to the alien and feels for a pulse. 

Oh God. Oh, God, no…. What has he done? He looks at his hands. "Of course, I could be wrong." 

Sam says, "I can't find a pulse, but I don't know if that means anything. He's still breathing." 

Jack eyes the other aliens warily, as if he expects them to grow fangs and attack now. "Captain, why don't we back off for now, huh?" 

Daniel is worried. It could be because the little fellow was already ill. Maybe he'll make them ill. Or maybe it was Daniel and his allergies. Or maybe it was just Daniel. The contamination factor when traveling to other planets is exponentially high. "I really hope this isn't because I sneezed on him." 

"This one appeared to have lubricant from the UAV on his hands. Perhaps that is what has made him ill," Teal'c says. 

Jack shakes his head. "Could be their national pastime for all we know. Maybe they got low blood sug —" 

The aliens look up, eyes closed, and suddenly begin singing a strange chord. It is freaky. Like, in a high-pitched, car alarm kind of way. 

"They're… singing," Sam says. 

Jack winces. "Is _that_ what that is?" 

Er… okay. Okay, what could this be? "Some Native American as well as African and Aboriginal tribes believe that music and chants have medicinal powers." 

"The sound is incredible," Sam says. 

Another alien falls to its knees, then topples over. 

Oh shit. "Well, I guess it didn't work quite like they hoped." 

Within moments, Daniel and Sam help carry the sick ones into the dwelling and watch as the others care for them. 

"O'Neill, should we not leave now?" Teal'c says. 

Daniel stares at the Jaffa. "What?" 

"Our presence here may make more of them ill." 

Sam nods. "I was wondering the same thing, Daniel. What if we're causing this?" 

Yeah, he thought that too, but the damage is done, now. "Well, look at them. I don't think they know what's happening, much less how to help themselves." 

Jack shakes his head. "Hey, we don't even know what's happening, much less how to help them." 

Another alien collapses. 

Ah Christ. "Well, whatever it is, it's turning into an epidemic." And Daniel is no fool. His mind flashes to Bubonic plague, Brazilian swine-flu outbreaks, Green Monkey epidemics in Africa. Whatever this is, it's not random and it is definitely not good. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack and Teal'c put in a call to Hammond and get Doc Fraiser in a nice, sexy biohazard suit to make a house call. She and her medical team examine the aliens while Daniel stands there with his hands in his pockets. Jack recognizes the stance – it's one he uses when his hands are itching to break something – but at least the younger man isn't hugging himself.

Fraiser sets up shop and they run through all the possible causes – Daniel's sneezing, Carter's bloody hand, the UAV lubricant. 

The doctor looks a little frazzled. "Okay, look. The fact is, it could be somebody's aftershave. Now, how are they going to react if I want to run some tests?" 

"The behavior of the group indicates serious agitation and concern. This is obviously unusual to them. They're worried, but so far, they've been very passive and willing to let us try to help," Daniel says. 

So she runs some tests. While SG-1 checks out okay, Fraiser has no way of knowing about what is normal for the aliens. 

She asks to take them back to the SGC for more tests and Jack can see that it's one of their only options. 

"I'd like to stay," Daniel says. 

Which is actually startling to Jack. "What for?" 

Daniel shrugs. "Keep trying to communicate with them. Reassure them we're trying to help." 

The younger man looks lost. And guilty; Jesus, the man has a penchant for guilt. Jack wants to indulge him, but he doesn't think it's a good idea to have him stick around for the Black Death, or whatever this very well may be. 

"I don't see any danger, sir," Fraiser says, shooting Daniel a sympathetic look. 

But… "We're not making things worse by being here?" He says ‘we' because he's not so sure he's just gonna let Daniel stay behind without him. 

"No, I think the damage is probably already done. Quarantine the sick, in case this problem is contagious amongst them. I also suggest you check out the other villages in the distance. If this illness is present there, it just may rule us out as the origin." 

He nods. Okay, that's a lot to handle and George is gonna have questions. "Okay. Carter, you go back with Frasier. Report to General Hammond, and get your hand looked at. Daniel, Teal'c, and I'll stick around." 

They escort one of the sick ones to the gate; Daniel is right there to lay a gentle hand on the concerned little guys. "It's okay. Everything's going to be fine." Daniel tries to smile reassuringly. 

Jack thinks back to all the villages he'd visited. The desert towns. The jungles. All the little kids that would laugh at watching him blow bubbles with his gum and trade little pieces of junk for candy bars and American baseball cards and stuff like that. And Jack remembers all the disease. 

He doesn't like to think about it. This is an entirely different situation. These things aren't even human. So Jack just shuts off that train of thought. 

He leaves Daniel to play house while he and Teal'c head out for the other villages to see if this is an epidemic. 

The walk should be easy – flat terrain, soft meadow grass – but his legs feel heavy today. And he's a little dizzy, off-kilter. 

"Do you not believe we are responsible, O'Neill?" 

He doesn't know. It's hot. He's tired. Very tired. And dizzy. And there isn't anything about this that doesn't suck. "Yes, I believe we are… not. We should check it out either way." 

"It is possible an alien went to warn others and spread the disease." 

"Yeah. I guess." His legs buckle and he falls to the ground. "Whoa! Whoa!" 

Teal'c grabs his arm and tries to help him. He pulls away. Nobody does that – he'll walk on his own. 

"I got it." 

The big guy sounds alarmed. "Are you all right, O'Neill?" 

Yeah, he's fine. Just dehydrated maybe. Tired. "I'm fine. Look…. Teal'c, I know this might be tough for you, but would… would you mind if we just walked without talking for a while?" 

"Do you feel an illness?" 

No. He's _fine_. "A little headache. I'll be fine." 

He resumes walking under Teal'c's watchful eye. They hike for what seems like an eternity…. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jack and Teal'c make it back in time to find Daniel giving a little bald guy the thumbs-up.

"Good impression." Daniel looks… delighted. Jack wants to smack him. 

"What's up?" 

"Uh, the plant. Or, at least, it was." 

"What?" 

The younger man bites his lip. "Well, it had grown to over six-feet tall, and when I came up to it, it just shrank back down into the ground. I'm going to back up again; see if it does it again." 

Okay, this is slightly nuts, even for Daniel. The younger man walks up to it and the plant… doesn't do squat. 

He smirks. "Witness if you will… squat." 

Daniel points to the alien. "Well, you saw it too." The little fella squats and then stands up again. "See? Just… like that." 

Yeah, this is all very fascinating. Where does Daniel's head go, sometimes? 

"Many aliens in nearby villages are ill," Teal'c says. 

Daniel frowns out of concern, but Jack can see the slight unwinding of his shoulders. The relief that it probably isn't all his fault. "Okay…." Putting his hands on his head, he takes a deep breath through gritted teeth. "What are we going to do?" 

Do? Does Jack look like a doctor? Does he have a magic band-aid? Christ, his head is killing him. "How should I know?" 

"Well, we need to do something," Daniel says… prissily. 

"I agree with you. But I haven't had the brilliant revelations you seem to have had." 

Daniel glares at him. Reminds Jack of a pissy cat. "Maybe you could try something a little bit better than inappropriate sarcasm." 

Oh fuck this. "You want sarcasm? Nice to meet _you_." The squatting fellow comes up to Jack and Daniel and _smiles_ at them like a clown on crack. "What's he smiling at?" Jack asks Daniel. 

"He appears to be bothered by the tone you have taken towards each other," Teal'c says. "As am I." 

Oh great. Lectures from Teal'c. Not taking care of that warrior bond, are they? In need of a little counseling, just because Daniel is freaking _clueless_? 

Damn. That's not like him. He… he loves Daniel. In his way.… 

"Uh, Teal'c, go head back to the gate. Get a message to General Hammond. Let him know what's going on here." 

Teal'c looks back and forth between Jack and Daniel. "And the two of you will be fine?" 

Jack smiles ferally. "Yeah. Yeah. We'll be okay. I'm going to stick around and work on this quarantine thing with plant-boy here." 

Daniel gives him that look again. Teal'c also fixes him with a glare and Jack really has no explanation for why he's so snippy. Daniel just nods and Teal'c heads out. 

They head inside the dwelling, where Daniel plays with his video camera and Jack checks over their supplies. "Ah-ah-ah. Get back. Come on. Get back," he says to the aliens, who are running around and paying no heed. 

God, he's never been so annoyed. "Fine. Knock yourself out. Go ahead. Go play in the street. Don't forget your sun block." He walks out of the dwelling and up to Daniel. "Why aren't you helping me?" He's irritated and not about to hide the fact. 

Daniel looks a little disappointed in him. "It's no use. They don't understand. They want to be with each other." 

Jack sighed. "Well, we're not going to stand around doing nothing." He should be fixing this, he knows, but he needs options. 

"We're not doing nothing," Daniel says balefully. 

Oh he can't believe this. "You're videotaping a _plant_!" 

Daniel folds his arms. "Well, I think this might be important." 

"Well, I think you might be losing what's left of your _mind_." Jack throws up his hands. 

Daniel scowls. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

Okay, fine. Time for some homegrown truths. "It means that on a good day you can be a little… flaky." Understatement of the year. 

"And on a good day you can be a little ignorant and condescending," Daniel says with the _most_ superior tone possible. 

"Not condescending. You're obviously misreading a basic philosophical difference of opinion on how to handle a crisis," Jack says, pleased he didn't degenerate into rabid cursing. 

"Oh, please!" Daniel cries. "We have a difference of opinion on just about everything." 

Yes, true. Let Jack show just how obviously wrong Daniel is about things. "Give me an example." 

Daniel snaps. "I don't know. Pick something. How about mythology?" 

Oooh, mythology. "Rumors? Lies? Fairytales?" 

"You see?" Daniel… Daniel spins around in little circles, bouncing animatedly, waving his hands. He's twirling like an agitated dreidel. "See? See? See? See? See?" 

One of the aliens toddles up to smile at them, but Daniel is too busy yelling. "Mythology is one of the primary motivations for cultural development!" 

Okay, Jack's had it. He's found his primary motivation for putting his boot up Daniel's ass. "Maybe it is; what's that got to do with _filming a plant_!" 

Daniel just shouts, "Exactly!" 

Confused, he yells back, "What does that mean?" 

"I don't know!" 

Jack notices the little guy blinking back and forth between them and realizes they may have crossed the line. This isn't like them. He and Daniel may not see eye to eye but they never fight. Not like this. "Okay… what was that?" he asks softly. 

Daniel rubs his forehead. "I don't know. I don't feel so good." 

Jack rubs the back of his neck and winces. "I've got a headache." Extreme tension. 

Daniel nods. "Maybe we're getting whatever they have." 

Which is a frightening enough thought, added on top of the fact that the little alien watching them just passes out. 

They carry him into the dwelling and lay him down. It's not long before Jack and Daniel have to sit down too, exhausted. Jack clutches his neck – it is really starting to hurt. 

Daniel looks at him with sympathy. "Getting worse?" 

He doesn't like admitting he's in pain, but… it's not like he can really hide it at this point. "Yeah. Kinda." 

A few minutes later, Teal'c comes back in and reports on what's been going on with Fraiser, Carter, and the alien back at the SGC. 

Jack looks at the younger man. "I think we should probably go back and get checked out, huh?" 

Daniel doesn't answer. He looks pinched. Jack knows he doesn't want to leave the aliens but.… 

"I will remain," Teal'c offers. 

Jack nods and uses all his energy to get up and grab their gear. "All right, Teal'c. If we're not back in twelve hours, come on home." 

Daniel puts a fresh tape in the camera and asks Teal'c to keep an eye on it. Jack says nothing and they head back toward the gate. 

Now, Jack feels like shit, but he's still hyper-aware of Daniel. He is _always_ hyper-aware of Daniel, even when he's pretending the other man doesn't exist. And Daniel is walking stiffly. He's weaving, even. "Are you going to make this?" 

Daniel stops, turns to look back at the village. Jack knows he wants to stay; wants to make them better. He pats the young man on the shoulder encouragingly. Got to heal themselves first. "Come on." 

He gets them to the gate. Barely. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Almost the moment they get through the gate, Daniel starts feeling better. Really better. So does Jack. It's very curious.

That bright, pulsing pain just behind his retinas? That's going away. In it's place, Daniel feels shame at the way he and Jack behaved earlier. 

They go to the infirmary and sit side by side on the same bed, waiting for Janet…. 

"Listen. I, uh…." Jack says, and Daniel can tell he's trying to say sorry, but Jack doesn't _do_ sorry. Because sorry doesn't ‘cut it' apparently. 

"No, no." Daniel sees Jack stop short. Okay that was rude. "Um…. Sorry. You were going to say?" 

Jack looks decidedly uncomfortable. "No, it's just that, uh.…" he squirms. "Well…. You know." 

Yeah. Man, this is awkward. "No, I know. I know. You know that I —" 

"I know," Jack interrupts. "It's obvious there's something —" 

"… _wrong_ with us," Daniel finishes. 

A pause. 

" _Physically_ ," they say together. 

Janet walks in and lets them know that, physically, they are A-okay. They both absorb that little tidbit of information. It couldn't be emotional stuff boiling over, could it? Things were getting so much better…. 

Just then, Janet's called to critical care, where the little alien is flat-lining. Daniel watches as Janet and Sam work hard to get him back. 

"He's stable for now." 

Daniel says quietly, "If he's going to die, shouldn't we at least let him be with his own kind?" 

Jack and Sam both look at him with sympathy, but they aren't going to do anything about it, he can tell. Military. He walks out and heads straight for his lab. If he can't go back and he can't help the little guy, maybe he can figure out a new way of looking at things, provide some alternatives. 

He plays the tape of the UAV over and over. Doesn't take long for Jack to track him down. 

"What are you looking for?" Jack asks. 

Daniel is beyond annoyed. He's fed up. He's fed up with the military bullshit and the hard-headed policies. This was never his gig to begin with. "I don't know. Something. Anything." He drops the remote in disgust, gets up from his desk, and goes over to his table, looking through a set of other, smaller tapes. He can feel Jack's eyes follow him. 

"Daniel, we can't always expect things to go the way we want them to," Jack says. 

Who the fuck made Jack his father? He stops and just _glares_. "To go the way we _want_ them to?" What the fuck is that? Does Jack not understand what's going on here? This is worse than giving typhoid-invested blankets to the Indians! It's murder! "I mean, one wrong move, one false step, and a whole fragile _world_ gets wiped out?" 

Furious, he shoves all his papers off the lab table and shouts, "We are killing a whole race of people here! How can I _not_ care?" He stops short and stares off into nothing. 

Jack steps closer. "What?" 

He closes his eyes against the vertigo and sighs. "My head hurts again." He walks out of the lab – predictably, Jack follows him, like a dog with a bone – and goes to the infirmary. 

Janet checks him out right away. One of the perks of being her new best friend, he supposes. But the weird thing is, he feels better. 

"Well, your pupils look fine," she says with a frown, her little fingers resting on either side of his throat while she palpates him. 

"This is the strangest thing. I feel fine again." He frowns at Jack. It's not possible that Jack makes him sick, is it? 

"Okay. So, then, when did this start?" Janet asks. 

"Well, it was probably while I was watching —" He blinks at Janet. And it comes to him. Right then, just like that. The tape. When he was watching the tape. "Excuse me." He runs past Jack and Sam. 

They all follow him back to his office. "There has to be something the camera recorded. Something we can't see." He hits the remote again and the monitor displays the plant. 

Sam grabs the tape up and takes it, without explanation, to the control room. 

"Carter, what are you doing?" Jack asks. 

"I'm looking for something that we can't hear." The monitor displays an audio spectrum analysis. "Here. In the long amplitude waves. Isolating and amplifying." A low, droning sound spikes into the red zone. 

Jack grimaces. 

"The sound was present the entire time we were on the planet. We just couldn't hear it," Sam says. 

"It's kind of annoying," Jack says. "Why don't you turn it down?" 

Janet steps forward. "Actually, it's more than annoying, sir. It's also responsible for the symptoms you were describing. Long-term exposure to certain sounds have been documented to cause serious physical side effects — your headaches, nausea, severe irritability. The longer you're exposed to it, the worse it gets." 

Sam nods. "I'll bet this is what was interfering with our remote control on the UAV." 

Daniel frowns. "So this is what's making the aliens sick?" 

Janet shakes her head. "No. See, you felt better when you got back here, but the alien we brought here just keeps getting worse." 

Just then, Teal'c comes back through the gate with a story about how the white plants rise and make lots of noise. Teal'c thought he was under attack, felt ill, and came home. 

It's then that Daniel determines that the aliens need the sound in order to feel healthy, but the UAV interrupted the signal when it crashed. So they play the tape for the alien in the infirmary and he… sings… and looks miraculously better. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

There are moments when Jack is just proud to have Daniel around. Of course, there are times when he wants to strangle Daniel. Or fuck Daniel. Or a whole host of things in between. But at this moment, when Daniel comes up with the idea to record the plant's vibrations on a continuous loop to save the little, bald, naked fellas… well, Jack is just proud.

They head back to PJ2-445, where Carter puts up solar-powered panels for the frequency emitters. 

"Daniel, we should, uh, we should get out of here," Carter says. 

The younger man seems reluctant to go. "Well, don't you wanna stay and see if it works?" 

Sam smiles indulgently. "Yeah, but we can watch from the ridge over there. I have a hunch and I think we might be in the way." 

Daniel raises his hand and says, "Goodbye." 

All the little naked aliens raise their hands too. 

Jack rounds up his team and from the ridge; Carter switches on the device. 

Daniel looks impatient, like a school kid. "How much longer, do you think?" 

"I don't know." Carter bits her lip. 

Jack raises an eyebrow. "Care to let us in on this hunch?" He can't imagine why she's got them back here if it's not going to work yet. 

"Not yet, sir." 

Then the aliens come out of their dwellings and start singing. It's unnerving, but at least they seem to be feeling better. The plants grow. 

Daniel looks at him with a triumphant expression. "That was your hunch?" he asks Carter. 

She nods. "I had a feeling there was some sort of symbiotic relationship between the aliens and the organism. They probably don't even realize it." 

Daniel smiles. "Well, how did you realize it?" 

Carter opens her mouth, but doesn't say anything. 

Hm. Interesting. "Captain?" 

Carter glances around nervously. "I… I talk to my plants, okay?" 

No one says anything, but they all just look at her. She blushes. Jack thinks it's adorable that Carter talks to her plants. Jack thinks it's adorable that Carter _has_ plants. 

Across the expanse, the white flora are growing up everywhere, bright pink blossoms bursting open at their tops. Jack looks at Daniel, shares a smile, and they head home. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel watered Jack's plants. Exactly like Sam had told him to. He's not very good with gardening or domestic things in general. Not so good with flowers. Or animals or kids, really. But plants were the worst. At least animals and kids screamed when they're thirsty.

He's been taking care of Jack's plants for weeks. Sam wanted to do it; she did know a thing or two about it, after all. But Daniel didn't want her in here – in Jack's house—in _his_ house. Looking at Jack's things. Filling up the rooms with the scent of her perfume and her very presence. Having a bigger part of Jack's life. 

Which was unfair of him. He knew that. But he didn't care. 

Ran a waxy leaf between his thumb and forefinger. Thoughts crowded, memories clamoring. 

Because it was so clear, it took a long time to see.

 

 

 

 

 

~*~


	42. Demostrae et Narrare

**42\. Demostrae et Narrare**

 

 

 

 

 

"It's me," Daniel said, without preamble, showing up on Jack's door one sunny Saturday morning.

"O…okay?" Jack answered. He was in his jogging shorts, having just come back from a nice long run, during which he did _not_ think about Daniel Jackson in a remotely sexual way for all of ten seconds. 

"Can I come in?" Blinked. Owlishly. 

"Yeah." If it got Daniel out of bed before nine on a Saturday, it had to be good. 

For a second, Jack was a little embarrassed about being… well, a wreck, sweat dripping down his face, his neck, his tee shirt. He was soaked. Then again, Jack just didn't care about appearances, really. Besides, Daniel had worked up quite a lather with him in the sack a few times, so why should he be self-conscious? 

Was his hair sticking up? He patted it down. 

"I…. We need to – and this isn't meant to sound ominous – we need to talk." 

"Well, wonderful." Jack smiled. On the outside. On the inside, it was like a devil took a pitchfork to his lower intestines and twirled his guts like a clump of spaghetti. "Want a drink or something?" 

"No, I'm good." 

"Come on out of the foyer." Jack walked toward the kitchen. Leaned into the refrigerator and got himself an ice-cold bottle of water. 

Daniel was staring at his sweat. Which, yeah, was a little disquieting, but whatever. Jack wasn't one to let a lack of confidence show. "So. Talk?" 

"Yeah." 

Twisted open the cap. Took a long slug. He probably needed it. 

Daniel was starting again, this time at his throat. 

"Anytime you're ready, Daniel." 

"Okay. The thing is, I'm attracted to you." 

Inside, Jack raised his arms and screamed touchdown. Outside, he didn't even blink. "Yeah, that's yesterday's headline." 

Daniel gave him a little half-grin. "And you're attracted to me." 

Swept Daniel with his gaze – khakis, light gray tee shirt, soft blonde-brown hair. Lush lips. Blue eyes. Fuck-me glasses. Yeah. Jack raised an eyebrow and took a slow drink from his bottle, letting his eyes say it all. 

Daniel swallowed. 

Oh, this was fun. He wiped some non-existent water from his lips and watched Daniel's eyes cross for a second. 

"But I'm married." 

Okay, not so fun. "Yeah, I got that memo," Jack grumbled. 

"And the Air Force would discharge you so fast for fucking someone under your command, your thick head would spin." 

"Is there a _point_ in there somewhere, Daniel, or are we just rehashing fond memories?" 

"Well, the point is, we've got to get over this attraction. Once and for all. It's gotta stop." 

Jack frowned. "Just like that." Snapped his fingers. 

"Well, well, no… no, not just like that, but yeah, sorta." Daniel sat down, looking adorably confused. "We have to go back to being friends, Jack. I need you as a friend." 

Huh; interesting. "Daniel? I don't think… first of all, I don't think you can just _stop_ being attracted to someone. It's not like I have a switch, you know?" Took a drink, fiddled with the label. "As for going back to friends…. Well… maybe it was always there," he said quietly. 

Daniel's eyes widened. "I don't think so." 

"No?" 

"No!" Daniel insisted. "No. I mean, when I first met you, I thought you were a dick – Er, sorry." 

Jack nodded. "That's okay. I thought you were full of shit." He smiled. "I was wrong; you were right." 

"Jack —" 

"You're saying you weren't attracted to me on Abydos?" Jack rolled the bottle's plastic cap around his fingers. 

"No, I don't think so." 

"Just had eyes for Sha're?" 

Daniel nodded… then stopped nodding. "Well… well, I remember thinking towards the end that you were —" 

"Yeah?" 

The younger man sighed. "You're gonna get a fat head. I remember thinking that you were very cool. I was sort of sorry to see you go back. Especially when you didn't have a family.…" Daniel trailed off, looking like he was afraid he'd said too much. 

Jack just nodded. "I think I was jealous. Of Sha're. I think maybe that's the reason —" 

"What?" Daniel said breathlessly. 

"My telescope was pointed at Abydos, Daniel. For a year." 

He watched it sink in. 

Jack sighed. Crossed his legs at the ankles and leaned against his counter. "I've never wanted a guy before. Never. And I've had some pretty deep and lasting bonds, Daniel. You spend a week in a foxhole with a guy, you get close. Ask George about Jacob sometime. But I've never wanted to kiss anyone the way I want to kiss you." 

The skin around Daniel's eyes crinkled. He looked lost; at once very young and very old. Jack advanced, going right up to his chair. Ran his hand through Daniel's hair and watched with supreme satisfaction when the younger man closed his eyes and tilted his head back. 

He straddled Daniel's chair and just stood over him for a while, one hand grasping Daniel's locks and the other clutching the water bottle. Listened to the quiet hum of the refrigerator and the total silence from Daniel. "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you… Daniel." 

Smiling, Jack tipped the last few drops of his water down over his shirt, watching it fall onto Daniel's pants. "Hot," he explained. Listened to Daniel groan. 

Triumphant, when Daniel's hands clutched at his hips and brought him down, their mouths only a few millimeters apart. Jack licked the younger man's lips. "Want you," he whispered. 

"Umh," Daniel whined. "I want you, too," he whispered softly. 

Jack leaned in. 

"But it's _wrong_." 

Stopped cold. Angry and hurt and cold. 

Jack let go of Daniel's hair and stood up, walked to the other side of the kitchen. 

"Don't be angry at me," Daniel pleaded. "None of this is my fault, any more than it's yours." 

Jack turned away and held up a hand. He needed a minute. He was so hard and so furious, there was no blood between his ears. 

Daniel got up and stood behind him. Put a hand on his shoulder, which Jack shrugged off. 

"Look —" Daniel swallowed thickly, and Jack could tell he wasn't playing games, wasn't stringing Jack along. He could tell Daniel was cut up. 

How can love be wrong? He _wanted_ to ask. 

But Jack would never use the word love again. Never. 

"I'm sorry," Daniel said. God, was he near tears? Sorry and tears and that's all he had to hand to Jack? "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry for this whole mess. You can go ahead and blame everything on me if you want.…" Daniel shifted awkwardly. "I don't want to lose you. You're my best friend. But if you have to pull away, fine then, I'll learn to deal. I can even go on another team —" 

"Stupid son of a bitch," Jack growled, spinning around and grabbing Daniel's shoulders. "How much of an asshole do you think I am?" 

Daniel's eyes were a dark blue, a pained blue. "Jack.…" The younger man touched their foreheads together. " _Please_. Please be stronger than me," Daniel whispered. 

He traced Daniel's jaw with his fingers. This is what Daniel was asking of him. Not much. Only to shove his heart back in a steel box, until he could save Daniel's wife and watch them both walk off into the sunset, while he faced the rest of his life alone. 

And he would do it, too. 

He would do it for Daniel. 

"Okay." Thick. Watery. "Okay." 

Daniel trembled just a bit. He always did that when he had an overload of emotion, good or bad. "Okay…." 

Jack pulled back a bit so he could look in Daniel's eyes. "I want one thing from you in exchange." 

"What?" 

"When we're in the field, you follow my orders. And when we're off the field, you take care of yourself. You take care of yourself the way I would take care of you, okay?" 

Jack looked at him and didn't blink until Daniel nodded assent. 

"And one more thing." 

"What is it?" Daniel asked softly, looking at the floor. 

"A kiss." 

That pretty head snapped up. 

"I want a goodbye kiss." Jack wasn't going to budge on this one, even if he had to steal it, and he could see that Daniel knew it. 

Nodding absently, Daniel parted his lips. Took hold of Jack's hips and moved closer. 

Jack stopped him, fingers trapping Daniel's chin. A long, pregnant look, and he could see Daniel's pupils dilate. Felt the man's breath come faster. Pulled him closer, until he could feel Daniel's heartbeat pound against his chest – feel the mad pulse in Daniel's groin that matched his own. 

Then he titled his head sideways and swooped in. Bent down and pulled Daniel up to him, thrilled as the younger man wrapped his arms around his waist and held on tight – kissed and kissed, until he had Daniel moaning, until fingernails raked his scalp and the back of his neck, until his chest was going to explode from lack of air. 

By the time he pulled back, he'd bent Daniel over at the waist and they were both stuck there, stupidly, panting in Jack's kitchen, their cocks throbbing and their chests heaving. 

"There. That should last me for a bit," he whispered, brushing his mouth over Daniel's once more before straightening them up. 

Daniel squeezed his eyes shut for several minutes and just held on to Jack's shoulders. He had a pretty good guess that the man was waging war with his dick – Jack sympathized – and then Daniel pulled away and adjusted his pants. 

"Are we going to be okay now?" Daniel asked with no small amount of effort. 

Jack grinned. "It's you and me, Daniel." 

Daniel nodded and walked – very carefully – to the front door. Sunshine streamed all around him as he walked out of Jack's house. 

Due for a cold shower, Jack thought. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

An unauthorized incoming traveler manages to dial in, and no matter what, the iris keeps reopening. SG-1 are in the control room, their regular briefing cut short by the klaxons.

Hammond is busy chewing the technician out, while Daniel looks down through the observation window to notice a small… boy… in a hooded jacket, now standing on the ramp. 

"General," he says in a tight voice. 

The small boy– he can't be more than nine or ten – pulls his hood off and Daniel sees he is completely bald. Jack's out of the control room and bounding down to the embarkation room so fast Daniel can feel a breeze brush pass him. The strange-looking child walks slowly down to the bottom of the ramp to meet them. 

"Search him," Hammond orders. 

"General?" Jack interrupts the approaching SFs. "If I may suggest allowing Carter to do it?" Oh, that's sweet. Jack doesn't want the boy to be scared, so he's asking Sam to do it. 

"She can detect… other stuff." Jack gives him a meaningful look. 

Oh. Right. Naquadah — Goa'uld. He almost forgot this was _Jack_. 

Sam approaches the boy with a smile. "Hello. What's your name?" 

The boy says nothing. Daniel immediately looks for any physical indicators that he might speak something other than English. 

"Okay. My name is Sam. I have to check you for —" She smiles and shakes her head. "For things you probably know nothing about, but just in case…." 

Daniel watches, captivated, as Sam checks inside the boy's hood, then runs her hands around his ears and gently pulls down his lower lip to look at his teeth. Then she holds one hand on the top of his head and the other on his chest while she closes her eyes and concentrates. 

She opens her eyes, smiles at the boy, and turns back to them. "Well, he's not Goa'uld or Jaffa. I can't sense any Naquadah. As far as I can tell, he's clean." 

Okay, well that's good. Poor little guy. Must be lost or something. 

"What's he doing here?" Jack asks. 

The moment Jack speaks, it's like the boy switches on. He looks straight into Jack's eyes and says in a sweet and very serious voice, "I am here to warn you." 

Oh. That sounds not at all ominous. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They take him to the infirmary, where Janet checks him over thoroughly and gives him a clean pair of scrubs.

"Well, as far as I can tell, he's human," Janet says. 

Jack raises an eyebrow. Oh, here it comes. "No bomb in the chest? A little biohazard in the tooth, maybe?" 

Janet shakes her head. "Checked for both. He's no threat to us as far as I'm able to tell, but he's pretty weak. I'm guessing he's malnourished." 

"What's your name?" Sam tries. 

The kid looks to Jack. " _Your_ name is Colonel O'Neill." 

Jack is startled. And suspicious. Naturally. "How d'you know that?" 

"My mother told me." The boy points to an empty space in the room. 

"Your mother?" Jack asks, uncertain. 

"Yes." The kid turns to look at the place he pointed at and seems to be listening to someone or something. "She says I am to speak only with you." 

Jack throws Daniel a look. Yeah. Oh boy. He has a sinking feeling about this. Either mom is a ghost – which, despite all the strange things in the universe he's seen, Daniel doesn't believe in – or the boy's psychologically unstable. 

"Well, these people are my friends." Jack slides a glance to Daniel. What? Is he now supposed to be the resident expert on invisible entities or something? Hello? Arch-e-o-lo-gist. "You can trust them." 

The boy seems to listen to the emptiness again and then turn back to Jack. "Mother says to speak only to you." 

Hm. Interesting. Normally Jack is a bit… well, intimidating. But, he does have a way with kids. A natural charm. The kids seems rather insistent about Jack. 

"Okay. Why me?" Jack asks, rocking on his heels a bit. 

Daniel pays close attention – there are things about Jack that seem to suggest he's just another kid too. Someone the boy can trust. Hands in his pockets. Rocking back and forth. Casual tone. Jack's… disarming. Jack's hiding anything about himself that might suggest he had any advantages. And he's probably not even aware that he's doing it. It's fascinating. 

"Because Mother has observed you and determined she likes you. You are one who can be trusted." 

Uh huh. Substitute the boy for ‘Mother' and Daniel can just chalk it up to Jack's way. 

Jack looks around the room. "Well, thank you, ma'am!" he says kindly. Looks back at the kid. "How long have you been watching me?" 

"For many weeks," the child replies. 

Jack is startled. So is Daniel. For a split second, he traces back any conversation or glance that could have betrayed them, but then remembered that Jack was very, very careful on base. 

Then he remembers the kid is probably projecting and telling a lie. 

"Weeks?" Jack repeats forebodingly. 

"Yes." The boy seems unphased. "She first saw you on another planet and she followed your team through the Stargate at that time. She observed you all until your team returned with the one called —" and here the boy breaks off to listen to the empty space again, "Tonane. Based on your actions at the time, Mother believes _you_ are the only honorable leader among your people. It was only your team who did not want to steal Tonane's mineral." 

Okay. Now everyone stares at Hammond. They're all thinking the same thing. Mother is indeed there, or this kid is a really, really good psychic. 

"Then why not trust the rest of my team?" Jack asks warily. 

The boy listens and then says, "Because you are the _leader_. Mother insists I speak no further unless it is with you… alone." 

Okay…. That's a shame. Daniel really, really wants to know what the hell is going on. But it looks like it's in Jack's hands this time. God help them. bit healthy, but seems very emotionally stable. He looks at Jack – the exact opposite — and reluctantly walks into the hallway. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack hasn't found his footing since the kid got here. It's so _odd_ that the iris didn't close and the boy seems to know all about them – but there's no way he thinks the kid's mom is an invisible person. If he had been followed around for weeks, he would have felt it, right? His spidey-sense is usually dead-on. Right now, his instincts are to trust the kid, though he can't put his finger on why.

Needs more Intel. 

"So what do I call you?" 

The kid blinks. "I do not have a name." 

Everyone has a name. Everyone. "What's your mom call you?" 

"Son." 

Oh, did he just walk into that or what? "It's not much of a name," he hedges, smiling. 

"No," the boy says, quite serious. "It's more of a description." 

Since he got there, the kid has been totally open and sincere, in the way that only a child – or Daniel – can be, but he's also extremely… mature. 

"Yes, it is," Jack agrees solemnly. This is going well. 

"Mother says you too have a son." 

And he can feel the smile slip off his face. Fall to the floor. Break like an egg. "I had one. He's gone now." 

"What was his name?" 

Jack resists the urge to sigh. "Charlie." 

The kid smiles – for the first time, and it's good – and says, "Charlie. I like Charlie. It's a good name. Can I be called Charlie?" 

Ow. 

Oh God, ow.… 

"Yeah, sure, if that's what you want." He shrugs. Why not? What's one more Charlie in the universe? It's not like that makes this boy _his_ boy. 

"Okay, Colonel O'Neill. I am Charlie." 

He holds out his hand. "Hi, Charlie." Charlie takes his hand and they shake. "Call me Jack." 

"J'ck," the kid repeats, the way Daniel does when he's sleepy and smiling. Or did. They don't sleep together anymore. In any sense. 

Jack sits on the edge of Charlie's bed. Time to get down to business. "So where are you from?" 

"A planet called Reetalia." 

Sounds like a shopping mall. "Nice place?" 

"Used to be… until most of the Reetou were destroyed by mean creatures with glowing eyes." 

Ah, ding ding ding. "That's the Goa'uld. Sorry to hear that." And he _is_ sorry to hear that. This kid is probably an orphan thanks to those damn snakes. 

"That's why I'm here – to warn you." Kid is totally serious. 

"Well, thank you, Charlie, but we already knew about the Goa'uld." And if mom had been watching, she'd have known that. And if mom hadn't been watching, how did Charlie know where they are and want to warn them at all? 

The boy shakes his little bald head. "Not the Goa'uld. It's the Reetou rebels who intend to eliminate you." 

Oh. Oh, great. The Reetou rebels. Who the hell are the Reetou rebels? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Later in the briefing room, Carter explains that analysis of the iris mechanism indicates someone was using the controls in the computer room to manually open the door. Jack reports that the kid survived a Goa'uld massacre. Fraiser explains the psychological defense mechanism of retaining the belief that his mother is with him.

Daniel, of course, isn't convinced. 

"Well, how did he know about the Salish?" 

Ah, screw Tonane, what about Charlie? "How did he know about my _kid_?" Okay. That came out a little… bad. 

"Uh," Daniel says very uncomfortably. Charlie is one thing they didn't really talk much about. Jack never shared that with anyone, and it wasn't likely that he ever would. Maybe, maybe one day Daniel and he would get that close and he might open up about it, but not the way things were going lately. "Is it possible that he's some sort of psychic?" 

Fraiser says she'll run some tests, meanwhile Teal'c suggests they focus on the Reetou rebels. 

Hammond orders Jack and Teal'c to continue talking to… to Charlie. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The kid is still lying on the bed in the infirmary. It can't be very comfortable. He looks a little weak.

Fraiser puts a band-aid on his arm. "There you go. See, that didn't hurt at all, did it?" 

The minute he walks in with Teal'c, the kid jumps up off the bed and runs blindly about the room. "Jaffa!" 

Oh shit. He didn't even think. Jack stays calm. Projects calm. Lots and lots of soothing, confident vibes. "Get that a lot?" Jack asks Teal'c, who looks… less than amused. 

As Charlie tries to find somewhere to run to, Jack goes over to him and catches him by the shoulders. The kid's clearly traumatized. Shaking, tremors, like Daniel gets when he's cold and upset. "Charlie. Charlie, Charlie! It's okay." 

The kid just _cowers_ against him. "He's a Jaffa! He wants to kill me, just like he killed the Reetou." 

"No, no! No, no, no. He's a _good_ Jaffa." Which is kind of like trying to tell the kid that the sky is green. Of course, on Reetalia, maybe it is? "In fact, he saved my life one time. He hates the Goa'uld as much as you do." 

"No!" the kid screams. 

Jack looks at Teal'c, then looks around the room. "Oh, for cryin' out loud." He stands up, puts his arm around Charlie, and addresses a random point in the room. "Um, look, Mom. You said you trust me, right? Well I'm telling you, Teal'c is okay. In fact, _all_ my friends here at the base are okay. Okay?" 

Charley points to another place entirely. "She's over there." 

Okay, fine, he can play along. "Okay." He nods where Charlie points. 

"Mother says to trust only you and the other members of your team." The kid relaxes. 

"Good. Thank you." He waves his hand toward Teal'c. "Charlie, Teal'c. Teal'c, Charlie." 

Charlie there still presses up against Jack. Teal'c smiles and walks slowly towards Charlie with his hands out at his sides to show that he is unarmed. He bows his head. 

Huh. They're both bald. Maybe they can share that in common. 

"I am pleased to meet you." As Teal'c starts to straighten up, his smile disappears and he looks… constipated. 

Jack kneels beside Charlie. "Listen, Charlie. We have to ask you some questions about the attack on your people. Can you talk about that?" 

Teal'c looks like he's in pain, his breathing becomes labored, and he blubbers, "I-I-I am sorry, O'Neill. I must leave this room." He rushes out. 

O…kay, this is all very _The Twilight Zone_. "Excuse me, Charlie. Er, Mother." He follows after Teal'c. 

Outside the isolation room, Teal'c is slowly walking away, still looking perturbed. 

"What's the matter?" 

"My symbiote became agitated when I entered the room," Teal'c said. 

Weird. Did he skip his Kel-No-Reem or something? "Any idea why?" 

Teal'c shakes his head from side to side like he's ringing water out of his ears. "I can tell you only this, O'Neill. In all of my years, I have never experienced a symbiote so disturbed…. There is something unusual about this child, O'Neill. I advise you to use extreme caution in his handling." 

Yeah. Tell Jack to be cautious. Because he's the gullible, naïve type. "I was planning on it." 

Teal'c apparently feels the need to caution him twice. "You have seen it yourself. In the hands of the Goa'uld, a child is nothing more than a potent weapon." 

Yeah, okay but... "Well, Carter and Fraiser checked him out for all the threats we encountered from the other kids." 

Speak of the devil. Fraiser comes out of the infirmary looking grim. "I didn't find any apparent threat to _us_ , but he's in worse shape than I thought, the poor kid. Several of his major organs have congenital defects." 

Congenital… defects? He's just a _kid_! "Ah, God." 

Fraiser frowns. "It's like Mother Nature put him together in a hurry and got everything just a bit wrong. His heart valves are defective, his renal function is a mess, and I have serious questions about his lungs. I'm afraid without some very aggressive medical intervention, he won't live to be much older than he is." 

No. No more kids dying. Just no. "Can you help him?" There isn't a No-Mercy Pile for kids. There just isn't. Not anymore. 

"Maybe, but he may be beyond anything our medicine can do. There's something else." She shows them a file with Charlie's CAT scan. "Now, if you look along the lower part of the brain stem, this is the part where normal humans have what is called the reticular formation. It's the part of the brain that determines alertness, our perception of things." She pauses and Jack nods to continue on." Charlie's is twice the size of ours. And that could explain why he knew you had a son. It may also explain why he had such an effect on Teal'c's symbiote." 

Okay. The kid's got a big brain. What have they got on their hands? "So, what – he's got ESP? Some telekinetic thing going on?" 

No one picks up on the joke. He admits, it's not funny. 

"I don't know. I'm a skeptic on such things, but…." She shrugs, apparently unwilling to get into that debate, and goes to check on the boy. 

"It would explain a lot." Just… just how much does the kid know? 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Shortly after Jack learns about Charlie's illness, he gets Daniel and the rest of them together in the kid's room. Daniel can understand why Jack needs other people around right now – to keep him from bonding with the sick child, one-on-one.

Charlie lies on top of the bed in the infirmary. If possible, he looks a little weaker, paler than the moon. Jack stands by the bed while the rest of them look on. 

"So Charlie, tell us why the Reetou want to attack us?" Jack starts, casual as ever. 

"It's not the central authority of the Reetou," the boy says with unusual gravitas. "It's only the Reetou rebel faction." 

Jack blinks. Adorably, but that's beside the point. "All right, why do the _rebels_ want to attack us?" 

"Because the glowing-eyed people attacked the Reetou." 

Translation. "The Goa'uld?" Daniel asks, trying to figure out why. 

Charlie looks over to… Mother. "The rebels believe that the glowing-eyed people are too powerful to destroy directly. They believe they can only be destroyed by —" he looks off into space again. "Attrition." 

Jack frowns. "Attrition, what does that _mean_?" 

"Uh, attrition is the gradual diminution of strength or number by —" Daniel begins but Jack just glares. 

"I _know_ what the _word_ means. I meant in context." 

Oh, of course Jack does. Jack had a minor in English literature. He would shoot Daniel if Daniel ever let that get out but — 

"My God," Sam says suddenly. "They must want to kill all possible hosts. They must think that if the Goa'uld have no new hosts to infest that they'll eventually die out." 

It makes sense, from their perspective at least. "By attrition," Daniel says. 

"Yes." Charlie nods. 

"Well that's insane!" Carter exclaims. "There are _billions_ of possible Goa'uld hosts all throughout the galaxy." 

"And they are not all human," Teal'c reminds. 

Again, the boy nods. "Mother agrees. That is why the central authority of the Reetou sent us here." 

Okay, who are the Reetou exactly? If Charlie was a Reetou, he wouldn't keep referring to them as Reetou, just like they are from Earth, but always just call Earthlings ‘us,' or ‘we.' 

"Charlie, I'm curious. Are you a Reetou?" Has to ask. Can't assume anything. 

Charlie sits up a bit. "No. I am of your species." 

Uh huh. Species. Not race. "Is your mother a Reetou?" 

The kid shrugs. "Of course." 

His mother is of a different _species_ …. "And is that why we can't see her?" 

"Yes." 

All right. Time to play Sherlock here. "Well, if you're one of us, why can you see her?" 

Charlie looks to the empty space and then smiles. "'Cause I'm special." 

Jack widens his eyes. 

"You're special." Daniel peers at him. "How?" 

"Mother created me to serve as an intermediary." 

And there would be the magic word – is Sam getting this? "She _created_ you." 

"Yes. She hoped I would be older before we came, but my accelerated growth caused my body to begin failing, so we had to come sooner." 

The way the kid says that, like it's no big deal — it gives Daniel the creeps a bit. Then again, every culture has a different way of looking upon death. 

Sam and Hammond discuss how it's possible for the Reetou to seem invisible, due to the light and sound waves… particles… something… and quantum physics. Daniel doesn't really care; the point is that there's an invisible lady in the infirmary. 

"So, what?" Jack asks impatiently. "Prepare for an attack by an invisible army?" 

"If there is a Reetou in this room, it came through the Stargate," Teal'c says, looking very uncomfortable so close to the child. "And it is capable of controlling the iris." 

Hammond steps closer to the boy. "Son, how did your mother do that?" 

"I am no longer called son. Call me Charlie." 

Everyone looks at Jack who just sorta… shrugs. Daniel can sense there's going to be a nice bottle of red wine and some alone-time for Jack in the near future. 

"Charlie, how did your mother control the iris?" Hammond asks again. 

"Mother came ahead of me weeks ago. She observed you and how you operate the iris. Then, when the time came, she opened it for me, just as you do." 

The general seems a bit incredulous to find that a Reetou – something of another species – just typed codes into the computer like that. 

Daniel seizes on the immediate question. "So the Reetou can operate things in our phase?" 

Charlie looks to Mother then says, "Yes." 

"Carter?" Jack asks, because Sam has degrees in physics, and also, because it's just not _true_ until _Sam_ says so. Daniel grinds his teeth. 

"It is possible, sir, but it doesn't seem very likely." 

Charlie sighs. "Mother is growing impatient with your narrow-mindedness." 

A bolt of electricity comes from the area that Charlie been looking at. It blows up a computer monitor. They take cover as the SFs in the room raise their weapons. 

"Stand down!" Jack barks. "I assume that came from —?" 

"Mother." 

"Mother," Jack repeats. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack really has no idea how to handle this situation.

They go into the briefing room to discuss the imminent threat of an invisible invasion – Teal'c's symbiote's wigglies not being much of an asset on a grand scale. At the big guy's suggestion, they decide to contact the Tok'ra. 

Sam and Daniel go topside to call the Tok'ra using the Tollan device while he waits with Charlie. 

Jacob comes through the gate fairly quickly, Jack is informed. 

The kid is asleep. He wakes up slowly. Jack has been sitting in an uncomfortable chair nearby the whole time and he walks over when he sees that Charlie is awake. 

"Hey, Charlie. How you feeling?" 

The kid looks like death warmed-over. "Tired. Really tired." 

Of course. His little body's working overtime just to breathe, handle excrement, and pump blood through his veins. 

Outside the room there's the sound of a blast door opening. "For cryin' out loud!" the kid says, irritated. Jack is a little surprised, but kinda pleased. 

Hammond walks in and gestures Jacob and his Tok'ra escort into the room. Charlie panics at the sight of Jacob and scoots over to the edge of the bed to where Jack is standing. 

Okay, should have warned the kid a Tok'ra was coming. He clutches the boy tight. "Charlie? Charlie, it's all right. It's okay. It's all right, he's not a Goa'uld – he's a Tok'ra. They're okay." 

Jacob's eyes widen as he looks at Charlie and he puts his hand on his head, clearly in pain. 

"Dad?" Carter asks, worried. 

Without a word, Jacob turns and walks out of the room. 

Daniel, Carter, and Teal'c follow him out and a few minutes tick by. Jack just focuses on Charlie, explaining a bit about the Tok'ra resistance so he won't be afraid. Eventually Jacob and his Tok'ra colleague come back in the room, activate these weird water-gun-looking devices, and aim them at various places in the room. 

"Jacob?" 

The two SFs in the room aim their guns as a large, green, insect-like creature, about five- feet tall, comes into view, standing by Charlie's bedside. It raises its front arms defensively. Ew, that this is ugly! 

Charlie kneels up on the bed and spreads his arms wide in front of the creature. "Please don't hurt her!" 

"My God!" Jack says. When the kid said mother, he had something entirely different pictured! 

"Hold your fire," the general commands. 

"She could've hurt us a long time ago if that's what she intended," Carter says. 

Jacob lowers his device. "Tok'ra, kree." He and his colleague shut off the devices and leave the room. 

Okay. Holy shit. "Whoa." The kid was telling the total truth. He walks over to Charlie and leans onto the bed. "I owe you an apology." 

He smiles. "I wouldn't lie to you, Jack." 

"I know that. I'm sorry…. Charlie, I want you to do me a favor." 

"What?" the kid asks, eager to please. 

"You and your mom stay in this room until I get back. Nobody's gonna hurt you, I promise… neither of you. Okay?" He hopes that's a promise he can keep. 

Charlie looks at mom and nods. "Okay." 

"Okay." He pats Charlie's shoulder and leaves the room. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Walks straight to the briefing room and totally freaks out. "Will somebody _please_ explain to me how that... _thing_ could be the kid's mother?"

Daniel speaks up. "He said their leaders created him to communicate with us. They must have cloned him or engineered him somehow." 

They go back and forth as to the particulars. 

"But how do they do something that advanced and leave the kid so screwed up?" Jack wants to know. 

"Genetically engineering a human child would be a very precise exercise, Colonel. Changing one set of genes to alter the reticular formation could have numerous additional ramifications," Fraiser said. 

That's not what he meant. He didn't mean, _how_ could they; he meant how _could_ they? 

"Even though we can't see them, these Reetou can definitely see us," Carter says. 

Which, face it, is just plain creepy. 

"Which puts us at a great strategic disadvantage," Teal'c concludes. "I understand why the Goa'uld would want to eliminate them." 

Jack grimaces. "They're _Goa'uld_ , Teal'c. That's their _job_." Man, he's got so many unresolved issues right now. Daniel, the Goa'uld, the kid, and now a massive attack from invisible alien bugs. All he wanted was to get through the day and have a nice cold beer, maybe catch a game, jerk off to fantasies of Daniel in leather pants. 

"The Reetou are a pretty peaceful race. The Goa'uld wiped most of them out just because they were a possible threat," Jacob says. 

Daniel frowns. "Okay, but how did the Goa'uld wipe them out?" 

Jacob explains the use of the Transphase Eradication Rod; how it can both detect and kill a Reetou. 

Jack fixes him with a look. "Well, do me a favor, will you? Don't terminate _this_ Reetou. I promised the kid." 

He looks at Daniel from the corner of his eyes. A promise is something Jack rarely if ever gives, and when it's to a kid, he keeps it. Always. 

Jacob explains more – about how the Reetou rebels work in terrorist cells of up to five; their bodies can't reintegrate through the iris shield; and earth-weapons wouldn't do much good against them. 

Jack already can tell they're going to have to put up a special scanner in the gate room as soon as possible. 

"Well, I should talk to Mom," Jack says. "She might know where this rebel staging planet is." 

"Wait a minute," Daniel says. "Say she _does_ give us the address where they're coming from, isn't it kinda risky to go looking for them? I mean, it's possible we may let more of them through to Earth and not even know it." 

Yes, good point. Good for Daniel. He's starting to think militaristically. Jack is happy about this. Somewhat. 

"If we've got TER's; we'll be able to see them," Jacob says. 

Daniel doesn't seem comfortable with this. He can't really blame him. Nothing like being blind to make you feel really vulnerable. Add a small, confined space and some homemade handcuffs and welcome to Jack's unhappy place. 

"We need some intelligence, Dr. Jackson. It's the only way we'll know what we're up against," Hammond says. 

So Jack heads back to the isolation room in the infirmary, where he finds Charlie lying on the bed, crying silently. When Charlie sees Jack, he wipes his eyes. 

"Mother says not to cry." 

Jack sighs. The kid's probably in a lot of pain. "Crying's okay." 

"She says the boys of your culture do not cry." 

Oh, God, how many tears had Jack wiped off his kid's face? How many tears had Jack himself once cried, before his father drilled that out of him? "Not true." He sits on the edge of the bed. "In fact, there's an official list of reasons for which crying is a good thing." 

"Mother is leaving," Charlie says. 

Jack wonders immediately if that means Charlie's heading out too, and where they are going to get their answers from, and what's going to happen to the kid without medical treatment. 

But what he says is, "Now, see, that's a good reason. ‘Mom leaving,' I believe, is number six on the list of good reasons. Actually, six is ‘Mom says she's leaving in a couple of days', five is ‘Mom leaving immediately'. Four, of course, is ‘Mom already left'. Now three... three is _huge_ , one of the bigger ones on the list —" 

Charlie smiles. "She's still here. She's leaving as soon as she has told you everything that can help." 

Okay. Question one answered. "She's not taking you with her?" 

"She wants to leave me here with my own kind." 

And Jack's heart pulls and twists in ways it hasn't in a very long time – in the direction of hope. "Well, for what it's worth, I think she's right. I think you should stay here. You'd be better off." 

Don't. Don't do it. He's got organ failure. Do _not_ do it. Keep that mouth shut! 

"I think I belong with _you_ , Jack." 

Oh God, oh God, don't do this to him. "Look, Charlie, um... before she leaves, do you think she could tell us where we can find these rebel Reetous?" 

Charlie looks to his mom. "She says she'll show me the address." 

And that takes care of question three. "That'd be great." 

"Jack? Could I be your son for a while?" He looks up at Jack hopefully. 

It _breaks_ him in ways he didn't know he could break. "I don't know, Charlie. I don't think you'd want that." Jack's a mean old man that screws up every which way until Sunday. It wouldn't be any kind of life for a kid… not without a mother. Not when Jack risked his life every damned day. Not when Jack _still_ had guns in the house. 

"Yes I do! You'd be great! I can tell." The kid beams. 

He could retire. He's got money saved away. He could spend all his time teaching the kid baseball and hockey and chess and do over all the things he'd done wrong. If the kid weren't, well, dying. 

Oh crap. "I'll tell you what. Let's deal with these Reetou, then we'll talk about it, okay?" 

Because deep down, and Jack knows better, deep down, he wants nothing more than to keep Charlie. Make him all better. Take him to movies and drive him to school and pack his lunch and tie his God damn shoes and try again, try to atone, try for a few seconds to snatch his Charlie back from the grave. 

"Okay," Charlie says happily. 

"Okay," he whispers. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They go to the Reetou planet, discover the hundreds and hundreds of rebel warriors the naked eye can't detect, and return home feeling well and truly fucked.

Jacob helps get a TER scan-sweeper set up in the gate room and Carter works on a palm device for the computer dialing system. 

And that's when all hell breaks loose. 

Rebel Reetou followed them back to the base and Jack, Teal'c, Carter, and Daniel spend a good chunk of that evening tracking them down and shooting them to invisible bits with Jacob's TER's. In fact, Jack saves Daniel's ass a couple of times, and mentally thanks God that Daniel is on his team, where he can keep an eye on him. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jack and Daniel burst into the infirmary.

"Hit the deck!" Jack shouts. Fraiser and the nurses dive for cover as a Reetou fires, hitting Jack in the shoulder and hurling him to the floor. Always the shoulder! The SFs in the room start firing in the direction of the Reetou with their machine guns. Daniel picks up the TER that Jack dropped and aims it at the Reetou to illuminate it. An electric blast comes from the other side of the room, killing the rebel that Daniel has illuminated. 

"Mother!" Charlie cries, scrambling off the bed. 

"Don't shoot!" Daniel screams, stepping in front of the SF's line of fire. 

At that moment, another electric blast comes across the room, blowing Mother to bits. "Mother!" Charlie calls out, anguished. 

Fraiser holds him. Daniel aims at the Reetou that killed Mother and shoots it, blowing it up. Jack would beam with pride if he wasn't in agony. 

He tries not to roll around too much on the ground, but he's in pain, clutching his right arm. "Ahh!" It burns like a fucking laser! 

Fraiser is there. "Easy, sir." 

He grimaces when she starts prodding the wound. "All right, _that_ hurts." 

Teal'c and Carter rush in. They do a head count and figure out they've got five Reetou down, but they should do a sweep of the base anyway. 

"Oh God." It fucking hurts. He is so damned sick of getting shot in the shoulder. Someone go for the buttocks, please! 

Once he's got a handle on it, mashing the pain into a tight little ball that he can squeeze into his fist and ignore, he goes to Charlie. "I'm sorry." He couldn't keep his promise. 

Charlie stares at him with tears pouring down his face. Jack puts his good arm around the kid and pulls him close. Charlie hugs him, little boy arms coming around his waist in a way that Jack hasn't felt in years, but is so familiar. After a few moments, Charlie's arm drops limply to his side. 

He faints. 

Shit! "Doc? Doc!" She rushes over, gets him on the bed. They don't know what it is, but she reminds him that the child has two major organs about to fail. 

"Oh come on," Jack pleads, irritated. "He's just a kid. You've got all this fancy equipment around here —" 

"Colonel, I'm sorry, but I don't think so," Fraiser says quickly. 

Jacob, watching from the sidelines, now says, "Let us take him. He will be in good hands." 

What? They can heal him? "Can the Tok'ra help him?" 

"Yes," Selmak says. 

"Excuse me, isn't he a little young to be a host?" Daniel asks. 

What? Host! What about the healing device? He's too young, he's too… it's a snake, dammit! 

"He is young, but the Tok'ra symbiote that we introduce to his mind can teach him. He will grow up with the advantages that great wisdom brings," Selmak says. 

Jack pauses, thinking fast. Doesn't matter. If he could have saved his son with a symbiote, he would have, in a fucking heartbeat. "Two key words there — grow up." 

"The Tok'ra are probably the only way that'll happen, sir," Fraiser says sympathetically. 

He looks to Jacob. That's Carter's dad. He trusts him. "Do it." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once the kid is stable enough to travel, they pack him up and take him to the gate. He's crying again.

Jack kneels down in front of him. "You know, there's another rule that says it's okay to be sad when you're saying goodbye to a new friend." 

"I wanna stay with you, Jack." 

Oh fucking Christ, should anything hurt this much? "Well, Jacob's gonna take you to a place where you can get well. I can't do that. But you know what?" 

"What?" 

"I'll come visit. _You'll_ come visit. Okay?" And he means it, too. He owes the kid a game of chess. 

"I guess." 

Jack reaches out and wipes the tears from Charlie's face, strokes his head, and then stands up to lead him toward Jacob. Standing at the bottom of the ramp, Jacob bows his head so that Selmak can take precedence and warn them to be diligent about other Reetou rebels. 

Then Jacob takes back over. "George," he says, warming, shaking the general's hand. He kisses Carter goodbye. When that's done, Jacob turns to Charlie and holds out his hand. 

Jack is doing everything in his power not to cry, including digging his nails into the palm of his hand, which hangs limp through a sling. He nods, encouraging the boy. 

Charlie slowly walks over and takes Jacob's hand and the pair of them walk up the ramp and through the gate. 

The wormhole disengages and Jack lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He doesn't wait for anyone to say anything, just hits the showers. It's the only place on base without cameras – save the storerooms – and hiding out there would just a be little too Section Eight of him. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When the hot water ran out, he went into the locker room to change. Teal'c and Daniel wait there, both looking concerned.

He raised an eyebrow. "Guys?" 

"Are you feeling all right, O'Neill?" 

"No." Why lie? "But I'll be fine in a bit." 

Teal'c nodded. "Would you like to Kel-No-Reem with me?" 

"Aw, shucks, thanks, Teal'c, but I don't think that's gonna do the trick. I just need a good night's rest." He looked to Daniel. 

Daniel bit his lip. "Hey, Teal'c, can I have a moment?" 

Teal'c bowed, shooting Jack one last look before leaving the locker room. 

Jack took off his towel and dressed with no nonsense. He was not even in the mood to think about Daniel right now. Once he was fully clothed, he started packing up his gym bag, when two arms came around him. Daniel held him from behind. 

The temptation to turn around and deck Daniel was great. But the urge to turn around and just melt against him was greater. Jack moved – slowly – until they fit, and then he just let Daniel hug him. They stood there for a moment, as Jack put the pieces of his heart back together – put away the memory of his son – and tried to recall who he was now, in this moment. 

Turning, his arms came up and he held onto Daniel silently for quite some time. Then he nodded, patted Daniel's back, and left without a word. 

He went home, sipped a glass of wine, and crawled into bed. Hugged the pillow tight, pretending it was Daniel. Fell asleep and dreamed of playing with horsies and castles with his son. 

~*~


	43. MDCCCCLXIX

**43\. MDCCCCLXIX**

 

 

 

 

 

"Jack? You doing okay?" Daniel asked lightly. Very lightly. Had been tip-toeing around him for the past month or more, ever since Charlie.

But the kid was fine; took to being a Tok'ra like a duck to water. Jack was fine, always fine, long as no one dug too deep. So he nodded as much to Daniel now. 

Jack glanced over at the younger man. He was getting ready to sneak – oh, he could be so sneaky; like a ninja – out of the base for a little secret shopping for a certain birthday boy. Who now stood in front of him, worrying his adorable lower lip. 

"Yep," Jack said, smiling. 

"'Cause, ya know, you've been a little… um…." 

"Distant lately?" Jack supplied casually, tying his shoe. Yeah, because that's the way Daniel wanted it. It seemed like they were always having heart to hearts in the locker room. It really had to stop; he couldn't bear the cliché. 

"Yeah," Daniel said, taking his glasses off and polishing them with the hem of his shirt. 

Jack did _not_ notice the bare tummy. He did not. He was very, very good at ignoring stuff. Like a ninja. 

Okay, not so much like a ninja, but, he was good at not noticing Daniel's trim waistline. "You been eating?" Jack said, rolling his pants leg down. 

Daniel blinked at him. "I promised you I would." 

Like it was a service to Jack that Daniel bothered to take care of himself. He shrugged. So long as it got done. "That's good." 

"You wanna… you wanna maybe go grab a bite to eat?" Daniel shifted weight nervously from foot to foot. 

Yes. Definitely. Maybe off of Daniel's stomach. "I can't; sorry." 

Damned birthday shopping trip. Taking away this _golden opportunity_ in which Daniel finally got over the awkward hump and wanted to hang again. 

Daniel raised his eyebrows. "Got plans?" 

"Yep." Jack put on his shirt. "Maybe later?" 

Daniel frowned. Looked him up and down. "Is that a new shirt?" 

Jack looked down at himself. "Yeah." 

"And new shoes?" 

Okay. They were discussing his wardrobe. Not that Jack minded that Daniel was paying attention to his body, but it wasn't exactly his habit to discuss clothes in the men's locker room. Or anywhere else. "Uh huh. Listen, I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna be late." 

Daniel's ears kinda went… back. "Oh. Didn't realize you had a time limit." 

"Yeah, I said I'd meet at a certain time, so.…" Jack hoped to high hell Fraiser would be there like she said, ‘cause there's no way he could do this without her Intel. She's the one Daniel's been hanging out with most often now. 

"Oh. Oh. Oh, I see." Daniel nodded quickly, straightened up, and clutched his bag. "Okay. I know how you have that punctuality thing. Well, I've got so much paperwork anyway… maybe later." 

"Yeah," he said. Damn, he didn't really want to disappoint Daniel, but the others were waiting on him. "Tomorrow is good, though." 

Daniel nodded absently and turned around. Jack headed for the door. 

"Have fun on your date," the younger man called. 

"You too." Jack walked out, made it all the way down the hallway, and stopped dead in his tracks. 

Did Daniel say date? As in… _date_? As in, he thought Jack was going on a date? 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! 

He spun on his heel and headed straight back to the locker room, but when he got there, Daniel was already gone. He thought about calling Daniel and leaving a message – but that would have sorta gone against their agreement to… to not be… involved. 

Crap. 

He sighed. He was so late already. He'd fix this tomorrow. Right now, he didn't want to keep Fraiser waiting. She had an unpredictable temper and could make rectal exams a living hell. 

Besides, Jackson could stew in his own juices over it for one night and it wouldn't kill him. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, see, no, this was good, Daniel insisted to himself as he paced around the hallways. This was progress. Jack was dressed up and going out. On a date. Moving on.

Without Daniel. 

This was very, very good. Because that meant they could just go back to being friends. Friends was good. Great, in fact. 

Jack had looked good. Very… nice. A nice, dark-brown shirt that brought out his eyes. Casually ruffled hair. Fairly tight khakis. He looked… edible. More so than usual. 

And that was good. Great, in fact. 

Jack deserved a date. Deserved sex, even. Good sex. Wet, messy sex. With some leggy brunette or something. 

Not Daniel. 

It was fine. No, it was more than fine. He'd go home, read a good book, maybe cook a little something. Okay, no, not a good idea, because he'd just think about Jack's cooking and that would suck. 

Teal'c! He would go and find Teal'c and they could hang out. Maybe catch a movie or something. 

Daniel knocked on Teal'c's door. For a long time. The man was not in. How odd. He almost never left base, because of the tattoo, and because… he had to be driven everywhere. 

Okay. What about Sam? It was after seven on a Friday night so she was _bound_ to still be in the lab. He went there. 

"Hey, Sam, you wanna…?" Nothing but stone-cold silence. Huh. Strange. Could she be in the parts closet or something? But no, her desk's lamp was off. She was out. 

Okay. Very odd. That's fine. He spent enough time with the team anyway. Janet. Janet would be good – better even – because he could talk to her, indirectly of course, about Jack's date and she would come right out and say whatever she thought. 

They could eat ice cream together – no, not ice cream! That was a Jack thing. They could eat cookies. Yes, cookies were neutral territory. Cookies, and talk about wanting things they can't have and all that Lifetime TV stuff…. 

And didn't Jack look amazing in brown, and who was he going out with, and when did he have time to meet someone, and was she good for him or just looking for a quick lay, not that Jack couldn't have one if he wanted one, but he was so much better at sex when there was some emotion involved; well, Daniel assumed, because there was so much emotion whenever they ended up grinding and panting and coming against one another. 

Oh, God. 

Infirmary was full, but Janet was off tonight. 

Everyone was gone. 

He was totally alone. 

Which was _fine_! Just fine! He'd been alone since forever; he could handle it fine. He had a _book_. 

Daniel drove back to his apartment, picked up a thick volume on Aztec rituals, and threw it against the wall. 

Who the hell was Jack going out with? How could he be so casual about it? Huh? Did he think Daniel didn't have any feelings over the matter? Of course, it wasn't really fair of him to be possessive and jealous when he was the one going on and on about his wife, but still! The fucking nerve! Jack could be such a callous, smarmy, snarky, gorgeous prick. God. The man was an absolute ass! 

Unless he was hugging Daniel. Or holding him at night. Or rubbing his back. Or making love – because that's what it had been, not sex, it was… it was like dancing, like flying and being anchored at the same time –like the time he made Daniel those shelves. He was considerate. Sweet. Tender, even. Jack O'Neill was a charmer. 

Which is probably what he's doing to the leggy brunette. Charming the skirt right off her. Daniel hates her already. They've got nothing in common, he's sure of it already. Is _she_ going to put up with Jack's temper? Jack's sniping sarcasm? And sometimes? Jack _snores_. Not to mention the missions, the days away from Earth, and all the secrecy the program required. Oh, she was in for an unpleasant shock. 

Of course, maybe she already knew that. Maybe this wasn't their first date. Maybe Jack had been seeing her for a while, maybe took up with her after that last kiss or something.… 

Daniel picked up the book and threw it again. 

Fuck. 

He was really overreacting. "It's fine," he said to his empty apartment. 

"It's fine." He went into the bedroom and stared at his only picture of Sha're. He wished she was there, right then. He wished he could just forget about Jack. 

He picked up the frame and stroked it with his thumb. 

Daniel wished he could even look at a _picture_ of his wife and not see Jack. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

"You're late," Fraiser said, as Jack trudged up to the fountain at the mall.

"That is not like you, O'Neill." 

His legs ached from walking so fast. "Yeah, T, I know. I got waylaid by the man himself." 

"You didn't let on, did you, sir?" Carter asked. Her… her tongue was blue. 

"Carter, why is your tongue blue?" 

She looked sheepish. "I had a Slurpee." 

"A Slurpee?" 

Fraiser folded her arms and tapped her foot. It was _adorable_. "We got a little hungry, what with you being half-an-hour late. Do you know how hard it is to get a sitter on a Friday night?" 

"I'm sorry already!" Jack threw up his hands. He hated being late. As a kid, being late used to earn him a very long lecture. "Like I said, Daniel cornered me in the locker room and I had to sneak out. Like a ninja." 

Everyone raised their eyebrows, Teal'c-style. 

"What?" He blinked. It was funny to him. 

"Well, sir, we need to figure out what to get Daniel for his birthday. I've been wracking my brain, but I just have a hard time picking something." 

"Don't wrack too hard, Captain; we need that over-developed frontal lobe of yours." 

"Yes," Janet said with a smile. "Finally, a man who wants a woman for her frontal lobes!" 

Carter and Fraiser… giggled. Like… like women. It was weird. 

"Yeah. So, what's the game plan?" He didn't like malls. 

"What is it that Daniel Jackson might enjoy for a present?" Teal'c said, somewhat distracted by the mannequins in the window. Yeah, there was nipplage. 

Jack had been thinking about Daniel's present for ages but he hadn't come up with anything. 

"Well, I would say clothes. The man looks like he buys everything out of L.L. Bean, for God's sake, and it's July!" Fraiser said. 

Carter's eyes lit up. "Ooh. We could get him some nice tops and bottoms." 

Jack's mind went somewhere else for a second. "Yeah…. Er, that's probably a you-girls' thing." 

Janet smirked. "Oh, I don't know. You know Daniel best. What he'd like.…" 

Jack shrugged. "I don't like clothes." On Daniel. 

Carter frowned. "Well, we don't all have to go in together. Janet and I can do wardrobe while you and Teal'c do something fun." 

Carter just used the word fun. He resisted the urge to pinch himself. "Yeah, but what's Daniel-speak for fun? _Encyclopedia Britannica_?" 

"He already has such books, O'Neill." 

Jack nodded. Yeah, he knew that. For the record, so did Jack, but he wasn't about to advertise it. "I'm not surprised." 

"Perhaps a game set, like Jackals and Hounds? I believe you call it… cheese?" Teal'c said. 

Carter and Fraiser both had to hide their grins. "That would be chess, T. Chess. And ah… chess is good and all… but he lives alone, and it's not really fun to play with yourself." 

Okay, that came out wrong and he thanked God that the women let it go. But Jack knew what he was talking about. He'd been staring at his own board for weeks, having pointedly not moved any of the pieces since his last game with Daniel. Sentimental sap that he was. 

"No, we need to get him something _good_ ," Jack said, ushering everyone to start walking toward the department stores. "Something really unique." 

Carter frowned. "Well, the Museum Company has some neat artifacts —" 

"No," Jack groaned. "No more artifacts. You can't set your drink down, his place has so much of that crap. Plus, I said fun, Carter." 

"I think Daniel thinks that is fun, sir." 

"Guys, you realize we're in a mall," Fraiser said. "You don't have to ‘sir' and ‘Carter' each other." 

Jack glanced at Carter. "Sam. Samantha. Sammy," he said and she _grimaced_. 

"No, sir. Just… no." 

He shrugged. "Okay." 

Janet laughed. "Well, call me Janet." 

"Call me Ishmael," Jack replied. 

"I thought your name was Jonathan, O'Neill." 

Ah, boy. "It's a joke, T; a reference to… never mind. Oh, look!" He dragged them into a sports store. Had to. There was the mother of all hockey sticks on sale – it being summer – and he had brief flashbacks to teaching Daniel how to skate. 

"Aren't we supposed to be looking for Daniel?" 

"Huh?" Frai… Janet was looking at him like that. Like… like his mom used to whenever she'd find him watching cartoons instead of doing his homework. Eek. Better get on board. "Yeah. Okay. Okay. So, Daniel's a growing boy; what should we get him, besides decent clothes?" 

"Why don't we walk around, see what we see?" Carter said. 

And so they did. And a million hours later, Jack's head was pounding. The women had gone to just about every clothing store on the planet, he was certain. He had to admit, they were good at finding bargains – Daniel was on the receiving end of a new leather jacket – which made Jack drool – and two slick slacks, plus three tops – each a shade of blue or gray, for Daniel's eyes – and a nice pair of shoes that Jack had picked out, because if it's one thing he knew all about, it was the importance of Italian loafers, and Daniel's were looking a little worn since last year. 

"Okay, I feel as gay as I possibly can get; no more clothes shopping," he suddenly said. 

Carter smirked but Janet… just sort of… didn't look convinced. He didn't entirely trust that woman…. 

Teal'c, not to be dazed like the piddley Tau'ri, was interested in everything and wanted to keep going. 

"Nope, I've got to rest." Jack headed over for a bench and put down all the bags – he'd just felt wrong until Carter and Janet let him carrying everything – and plopped down. "Ah. My knees." 

"Excuse me one moment," Teal'c said, bowing and going over to some sort of New Age shop. 

The girls rested as well. "Wow, it's almost ten. The mall will be closing, sir, and you still haven't gotten Daniel anything." 

"You can come in with us," Fraiser — Janet said. "There's a lot here." 

"Nah. I wanted to get him something special. I mean… you know." He looked away, because she was searching him out again. He figured she was probably just the new man on deck and was trying to figure out everyone's relationship to each other. He just didn't want her to look too hard. 

Teal'c came back carrying a small wooden box in his hands. He opened the box and revealed a set of – "Tarot cards?" Jack said. 

"These cards are for telling the future, apparently. Also, they have pictures of Earth Gods. Or rather, the Goa'uld on them, with historical explanations on the back." Teal'c smiled. Quite proudly. "I believe this is something Daniel Jackson can play with by himself." 

Jack grinned. They were extremely beautiful, handcrafted cards. Carter and Janet oohed and ahhed. "They're perfect, Teal'c. He'll love them. Now if I could just find.…" 

And then he saw it. A little kiosk, packing up for the night. Walked over as if in a trance. There were watches. Good ones. Dressy, flashy ones; sturdy, hiking ones… ones with military time. 

And Daniel was always late. And Daniel hated his SGC-issue watch because it chafed his wrist. And time… was something Jack had promised him. 

He looked over each one carefully – found a nice black one, a lot like the SGC's, but rectangular, not circular, with a soft, black leather strap and four different mini-time zones on the face. Plus, when he pressed one button, it lit up, and another, it was a stopwatch, and another to tell the date. Pretty handy to have when trapped off world in a cold, dark cell somewhere. 

He picked it up, flipped it over – solid silver on the back. Hm. 

"Sir?" Jack licked his lips. 

"Yes, son?" the old fogey said as he locked up the cases. 

"Can this be engraved?" 

The man peered at the watch. "Yeah. Have to be small, though." 

"What about… ah, does it have to be English?" 

The man peered at him. He forgot for a second this was a mall in Colorado. 

"Ah, like, does it have to be in the Roman alphabet? What if I wanted to do symbols?" 

Frowning, the old guy came over and picked up the watch. "Well, we do the engraving on a machine right here. I can get it to go manual, if you want, but, son, I'm no artist." 

Jack got excited for a second. He had a really, really good idea. "Good. How much?" Took up a piece of scrap-paper and the man's pencil and started drawing. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

So, Daniel's waiting on the gate room floor with Jack and Teal'c. No, he was not depressed. He was frickin' perky. Chipper. Not at all affected by the fact that Jack had gone on a date that weekend. Nope.

He looks up into the control room to see Sam still fiddling with calculations on one of the computers. Jack rocks back and forth impatiently. 

"What is she doing?" the older man whispers to him. 

Oh, Jack's talking to him? Huh, that's funny. Because he didn't call on Saturday and didn't make any plans to hang out. Must have had a good time, then. "Uh, she said something about having to time the calculations exactly right this time of year." There. See? He could be professional. 

" _This_ time of year? What difference does it make?" 

He sighs. "Oh, she said something about solar...uh... well, to be honest with you, I wasn't really paying attention." 

He was too busy thinking about Friday night. 

"Really?" Jack asks, like Daniel's mind is some sort of uber-absorbent super computer that just thrives on everything Sam says. He turns and shouts up at the control room window, "Carter?" 

She looks up and leans toward the microphone. "Almost there, sir. At this time of year, the direct line between P2X-555 and the Earth takes us within seventy-thousand-miles of the sun. I have to update the computer's drift calculation to include gravitational space-time warping." 

Jack waits a beat. "We _know_ that! Let's go." 

"Yes, sir." 

Daniel watches Hammond come up to Sam and take her hand. Odd. But he's too busy focusing – or pretending not to focus – on Jack. Jack seems… satisfied. Did he get laid? Well, look at him. Who wouldn't lay him? 

Got to stop thinking these thoughts! 

Hammond watches them head out, which Daniel thinks is a little odd. He only does that right before a big mission. 

As SG-1 emerges from the wormhole, they step into… the gate room. But it just… disappears in a weird wavy way, turning into… the bottom of a space rocket. 

"Whoa!" Jack shouts. "Did you see that?" 

The other three walls ripple away similarly. It looks like they're left in a launch pad. 

Hallucinations? "Uh, Jack, do you see this?" 

Jack looks up into the rocket boosters. 

"Captain Carter, where are we?" he says. 

Now, Daniel knows Jack is freaked out by the fact that he just addressed Sam by her full rank – he's falling back on training and that's the only thing holding them all together. 

Daniel starts to sweat. 

"I don't know, sir. For a minute there, we were back in the gate room." 

Jack takes a look around. "You know, this looks suspiciously like the butt end of a Titan missile." 

And then the intercom spits out, "Standing by for test burn in T-minus twenty seconds." 

Test… test burn? 

At that, Jack straightens, alarmed. The generators whine. 

"What is a test burn?" Teal'c calmly asks. 

"Just what it sounds like," Jack says tightly. He and Sam hurry around the launch pad. "Any ideas here?" 

Options… options. What options do fish in a barrel have? 

Jack runs to the nearest bay door, pounding on it frantically. "Abort! Abort!" 

Daniel jumps off the launch pad, checking the perimeter of the room for a door that will open. Sam checks a series of electrical sockets. Teal'c remains on the launch pad, looking up at the missile. Having no luck with the electric sockets, Sam moves to fiddle with one of the meters nearby. 

"Fifteen seconds," the intercom says. 

Jack pounds on the control box, messing with the dials in a desperate attempt to effect something. "Abort!" 

Teal'c removes a zat from his vest. 

"Stand by for ignition." 

Daniel looks to Jack. This is going to be really, really bad. Like, skin-and-muscles-melting-from-their-flesh, bad. Like, virgins-tossed-into-volcanoes, bad. He watches as Sam runs over to Jack and bangs on the door. 

"Abort!" Jack screams desperately. 

On the other side of the room, Daniel ineffectually tries to tear a fuse box from the wall. Teal'c activates the zat. 

"Ten… nine… eight.…" Teal'c aims the zat at the smoking boosters. "Seven… six… five…." 

Jack and Sam flatten themselves against the wall. Which they all know is pointless, but self-preservation is a powerful instinct. Daniel gives up and dives for cover, laying his head in his arms. He really regrets that he's not in Jack's arms right now, which has to count for something. 

"Four… three.…" The sound of a zat being fired. 

"Two… one… Ignition." 

Daniel holds his breath. Nothing happens. Realizing they're all right, Daniel gets to his feet and comes over to Jack and Sam. All three stare at Teal'c in amazement. 

"How'd you know that would work?" Jack asks. 

The Jaffa shows no expression. "I did not." 

A buzzer goes off and the bay doors behind them slide open. Three armed soldiers rush into the room and aim their guns. 

"Hands on your heads! Get on your knees!" one of them shouts. 

Stunned, Sam, Jack, and Daniel obey, and Teal'c reluctantly kneels down on the floor beside them. Where are they? These soldiers look just like the American military.… 

A sergeant comes up to them. "Who are you and how did you get into this facility?" 

Jack talks first – always directs the attention to himself. The rest of the team know better than to even start. "What facility?" 

"Answer the question." 

Then Sam says, "Sir, don't say anything. This is the gate room." 

The gate room. This is so not making sense. Are they in an alternate reality? Is it an illusion of some sort? 

"Shut up!" the sergeant tells Sam. 

Yeah, Sam's not really one to be told to shut up. "Sir, we're still in Cheyenne Mountain." 

"The next person who shoots his mouth off gets _this_ ," the man says, shoving his gun up under their noses. "Is that clear?" 

Above them, an intercom switches on. "Take them to the holding room." 

"Yes, sir," the sergeant says. 

"No," Jack says quickly. "Take me to your CO." 

At that, the soldier swings his rifle around, slamming the butt into Jack's face. He goes down from the force of the blow and Sam lowers her hands to catch him, but is stopped short. 

Great. 

Just… he loves the military types; he so, so does. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

The prisoners are taken to a holding cell; meanwhile, their confiscated weapons and vests are laid out on a table before the lieutenant.

"The major wants all this stowed for transport, sir." 

He looks at the laser gun. "What is it?" 

"My orders are to forget I ever saw it, sir, so I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about." 

The lieutenant frowns. "Thank you, sergeant." 

Waiting until the sergeant nods and exits the room, he reaches into the box and pulls out one of the vests. Starts to go through it - and stops, noticing a yellow piece of paper sticking out of one of the pockets. Curious, he pulls out the paper and sets the vest aside, studying the note. 

The outside of the note is addressed simply to "George." The lieutenant unfolds the note all the way. 

_**HELP THEM.**_

AUGUST 10TH 9:15 AM AUGUST 11TH 6:03 PM 

The lieutenant's eyes narrow as he reads the note. He knows that handwriting…. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Back in a holding cell, Jack is getting more and more disturbed. But this is old hat by now. Go through the gate, get captured. Come through the gate, bring an alien organism. Why this stuff still surprises him is beyond him.

Daniel is leaning against one of the bunk beds and Jack is sitting on the bottom bunk of the other, rubbing his eyes. Carter and Teal'c are sitting at the table. 

"I'm fairly certain that we've traveled back in time, roughly about thirty years." He looks up at her. Wonders what the hell she had for breakfast. "For a second or two, I think we were in both time-frames simultaneously, which is why the Stargate seemed to be there one minute and was gone the next." 

Now, much as he'd love to blame Daniel for this one, because it was usually all Daniel's fault, the younger man wasn't at the controls this morning. "Little bump in the calculations, Captain?" 

She looks guilty. He hates when his kids look guilty. "I'm sorry, sir. I don't know what to say." 

He smiles. "Well, I'll tell you what. Get us back home and we'll say it never happened." 

Daniel stands up a bit. "Or get us back before we left and it _won't_ happen." 

Carter and Teal'c stare at Daniel. 

"Well, think about it. We're the first people in human history to go back in time, well, for all we know. If we could figure out how to do this again, just think of what we could do. We could actually visit Babylon, we could - we could see the Great Wall of China being built." 

Oh boy. Look at him. Eyes all twinkling. They're stuck back in time, during the cold war it seems, under a _Titan missile silo_ and Daniel's babbling about Babylon. How fitting! 

Teal'c jumps on this. "Or prevent regrettable events in your history from ever occurring." 

"No! That's exactly what we _can't_ do," Carter says, horrified. 

Well, there's a deviation from the script. Carter, not backing Daniel up. "Why not?" 

"Because of the grandfather paradox." She's waiting for him to recognize her point, but she's going to have to wait a long time…. "If you went back fifty years and murdered your own grandfather, your own father would have never been born." 

Ah. Jack watches Daniel get used to this idea. "So you're saying that if we change our own past —" 

"We could change our world in ways that we can't possibly imagine. We might even cease to exist, along with everything and everyone we know." 

Oh Carter, always so upbeat! 

"I myself have no part in the history of your world," Teal'c says. 

Well, that's something at least. Jack's hoping this little fluke won't result in time and the earth melting into a giant pot of plasma-goo. He hates when that happens. 

If possible, Carter looks more disturbed. "But, when they find out about the Goa'uld threat, they might have second thoughts about opening the Stargate in the first place. In which case, we never meet... and you're back to being First Prime of Apophis." 

"I see," Teal'c says solemnly. 

"So…." Daniel shrugs. "We don't tell them about the Goa'uld." 

Wonder twins are brainstorming again. He can just sit back and watch the sparks fly. 

"How do we explain the larval Goa'uld that Teal'c is carrying? Our advanced weapons, our GDOs?" Carter asks. 

Or how do they stop the planet from just melting into plasma-goo? "Correct me if I'm wrong, Captain, but haven't we altered history already just by being here?" 

"We have to concentrate on damage control. At the very least, destroy our advanced weapons and technology." 

Oh, he just _loves_ that idea. "That's gonna be a little tough." 

She keeps going. "We also cannot tell anyone anything about who we are or where we're from." She holds up her SGC patch. 

Uh, yeah. Has she taken a gander at where they are? "This is a top secret facility. Anonymity does not go over big here." 

She's not in the mood for jokes, he can see. "We cannot tell them we're from the future, sir. Even if it means —" 

Yeah, he knows the rest of that sentence. 

She stops short as the cell door is unlocked, two armed guards and one unarmed soldier entering. The unarmed one approaches Daniel. Jack narrows his eyes – going for the weakest link immediately, huh? 

The solider speaks in Russian, which, thankfully, Jack understands. "You Soviet spies?" he asks. 

"Nyet," Daniel says without skipping a beat. 

Oh. Sweet. God. "Daniel?" 

Daniel, not realizing Jack might actually speak Russian, translates. "He just asked if we were Soviet spies. I just —" He stops, realizing his error. 

Jack gives him a look, unable to believe this one. 

"Come with me," the solider says. 

Great! Just great! They are so, so dead. "Sure. You bet." He walks to the door, muttering, "Nyet?" 

The first two soldiers escort him out as Daniel walks over to the nearest bunk bed and puts his head down. Yeah, Daniel, reap it. Jack swears he could just smack the man sometimes. 

The third soldier closes the cell door behind them. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, Jack is treated to the interrogation room. There's a wooden table with the predictably harsh light hanging overhead. Major Thornbird, whom Jack assumes is the base commander just based on all the medals on his breast, lights a cigarette.

"I'm Major Robert Thornbird. And you are?" 

Jack coughs at the smoke before replying. Hasn't had a cigarette in years… "Captain James T. Kirk, of the starship Enterprise," he says calmly. 

Thornbird is nonplussed. "And your dog tags say otherwise." 

Jack doesn't skip a beat. "They're lying." 

Normally this would be a peach. Interrogation is a fun way to fuck with people. And the U.S. military generally -- _generally_ \-- abides by the Geneva Convention. Then again, this is probably thirty years in the past and Jack is probably going to get shot in the head by the end of the day. 

"Your American accent is very impressive, Mr. Kirk." Thornbird takes a drag on his cigarette. "Before we ship you out and hand you over to wherever it is they take spies such as yourself, I wanted a word. Your little incursion into our training facility is going to leave an embarrassing mark on my record." 

Jack seizes on what the man says, and what the man does _not_ say. "Training facility?" 

Thornbird seems a little… scornful. "You don't think we'd test fire a real missile twenty-eight floors inside a mountain, do you?" 

No, ‘cause that would be thirty-one flavors of stupid. Then again… "Listen, you don't have the exact date —" 

The major ignores him. "What was the weapon you used?" 

And he's back on defense. He blinks innocently. "Weapon?" 

"Our cameras showed some sort of weapon." 

So, training facility. Cameras. He wonders where the armory might be. "Oh. Well, it's hard to say." 

Thornbird leans in conspiratorially. "Some sort of state secret?" 

"No, just difficult to pronounce." 

The major takes another puff. "Mister, my government doesn't take kindly to Soviet spies in its highest security facilities. Neither do I." 

Well, that's something they've got in common. Jack hates the Russians. "Hmm. Bob.... Can I call you Bob?" 

"Even though you achieve nothing," the man says. 

Jack knows right then and there that the man is a total amateur. "Unless that's exactly what we were _trying_ to achieve!" This is almost fun. Almost. 

"Kirk, you can talk to me, or you can talk to the C.I.A." He takes another drag, certain he's got Jack by the short hairs. 

Jack pretends to be all impressed. "Ooh. All right. I'll be honest with you, Bob. My name's not Kirk." He pauses, really, truly relishing this. "It's Skywalker. Luke Skywalker." 

Thornbird simply stares at him and stubs his cigarette out in the ashtray. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel could just bang his head against the wall. But that wouldn't help. Also? Walls are really painful.

They're taken in handcuffs and put in a transport van. It's blue. Which isn't particularly, Daniel doesn't know, a fear-inspiring color. He stares out the back window. 

They pass a painted sign with a cowgirl lassoing the words BREATHE DEEPLY FOLKS, SOON BE IN ALBQUERQUE. Beneath those words, in smaller print, is the message VISIT MIKE'S LEATHER EMPORIUM. 

Yeah. This just gets better. 

"Listen," Jack says, reigning in Daniel's attention. "I don't know where we're headed, but they'll probably try to split us up. So we're not going to have much time to —" 

"— Escape and hopefully live out the rest of our lives without affecting history," Sam finishes. 

"Or...?" Jack's asking for options. 

"I can't think of an or at the moment, sir." 

Daniel smiles. "No or?" 

Jack shakes his head. "There's an or." 

Now it's Daniel's turn. "There's an or?" 

"Sir, you can't just will something to happen because you want it to be a certain way," Sam says. 

Oh, she doesn't know Jack. Not like Daniel does. 

"Captain... where there's a will, there's an or." Jack frowns. "Way." 

Teal'c suddenly says, "If I remain on this planet, I will eventually be taken over by my mature symbiote." 

Yeah, what about that? They never seem to think of that whenever they're captured. Jack raises his eyebrows. Daniel can tell he didn't plan on staying that long. 

All right, look, they've gotten out of worse. Saving grace always comes along. The universe just can't keep Jack O'Neill down. 

Something hits one of the rear tires of the van, causing it to blow out. They pull off to the side of the road and the three officers in the cab get out. Daniel can see them through the back window. 

As the driver kneels down to inspect the tire, a lieutenant pulls his gun out of its holster. 

"I'll keep an eye on them. You help the driver," the young, red-haired man says. 

He gets into the back of the van with SG-1 and closes the door behind him. The driver and the other soldier attend to the spare. 

"Flat tire?" Jack asks with mock sympathy. 

"I'm the one who arranged it," the young man says. Okay, well there's a twist. "Before I can even think of doing what's asked in the note, I need to know who you are and who gave it to you." 

What note? What the hell is he talking about? Did Jack write a note in interrogation? 

Sam is studying the lieutenant's uniform and her eyes come to rest on his nameplate. 

"Oh, my God," she says. "My name is Samantha Carter, and... _you_ gave me the note, sir." 

Oh no, Sam's gone off the deep end. 

"Sir," Sam says to Jack, "before we left, General Hammond gave me a note and told me to keep it in my vest pocket until I got to the other side." 

The young lieutenant says, "It's addressed to me. In my handwriting." 

Ooh! Wow! 

"What's it say?" Jack asks. 

"Help them." The man kinda smirks. "And seeing as how helping you will undoubtedly lead to court-martial, I'd like to know why I would do that." 

Sam scoots forward. "Because it's your idea." 

And Jack catches on. "Albeit one you won't have for thirty years." 

"What," the man – Hammond – asks confusedly. 

"I know this is kind of hard to understand, but - that's roughly how far back in time we've traveled," Sam says. It's kind of weird to see her saying ‘sir' to someone so… well, young. 

The lieutenant's not buying it. Daniel can sense disaster. "I'm sorry. I can't help you —" 

"Wait, wait!" he calls. "We can - we can prove it." 

Jack picks up on his thread of thought. "The date. What's the date?" 

Hammond looks at them like they're nuts. "August fourth." Jack and Daniel stare at him and wait. "Nineteen sixty-nine." 

Okay. Work from the inside out…. 

"Sixty-nine," Jack mutters, turning to Daniel. "What happened in sixty-nine?" 

Okay, okay, think. "The - the moon landing." He turns to Hammond. "That was just a couple of weeks ago, right?" 

"The entire world knows that," Hammond says sarcastically. 

Daniel's shoulders slump. 

"But not too many people know you watched it from your father's bedside in his hospital room... just two days after his first heart attack," Jack says quietly. 

God, he could _kiss_ Jack! 

Hammond is stunned. "How did you know?" 

Yeah. Daniel wants to ask that too. He didn't realize that Jack and the general were so close. He didn't realize Jack was close with anyone… besides him. 

"Because we know you. We _will_ know you," Jack says, trying to convince the man. "And for some reason, thirty years ago, you decided we were gonna need help. Otherwise, you wouldn't be standing there with a note. Now are you gonna listen to yourself? Or not?" 

Hammond stands there for several seconds then puts his gun back in its holster. He fishes keys from his pocket and bends down to unlock Jack's handcuffs. 

"There are two other men, including the driver," he says. 

Daniel never realized what an amazingly kind person George Hammond was. Until now. 

"Thank you; thank you," Jack says sincerely. 

Hammond turns to unlock Sam's handcuffs. As he does so, his palm brushes against her injured hand. 

"Ow," she says. 

Looking down, Hammond sees the gash on her right hand. The skin isn't broken, but it looks painful. "I'm sorry, miss. Did I hurt you?" 

"It's Captain," Sam automatically corrects then smiles. "And it's all right... Lieutenant. Um, may I see the note?" 

Hammond takes the note out of his pocket and sits down beside Sam, handing it to her. Jack works to free Daniel and Teal'c. 

"Look, we don't want to hurt anybody," Jack says, "but we are going to have to knock those guys out somehow." 

Hammond holds up the zat. "Will this do?" 

Jack takes it and checks it out, then nods. "All right, call for help." 

Hammond hesitates, not understanding. 

Teal'c says, "The dangerous foreign agents you now guard have... inexplicably freed themselves." 

Suddenly comprehending, Hammond nods, getting to his feet. He opens the backdoors of the van and jumps out, drawing his gun and pretending to aim it at something inside that the other two officers can't see. "Help!" 

Hearing the shout, one of the officers gets up and runs around to the back of the van – and Jack zats him. Jack then leans around the side of the van and shoots the other guard. Hammond stares at the fallen men in amazement. 

"Where's the rest of our gear?" Jack asks, all business. 

Hammond holsters his gun. "Uh, the major ordered it shipped in a separate truck for security reasons. They should be right behind." 

Jack nods. He seems almost… fatherly… toward Hammond. Which is just odd. "All right, good. Get down on the ground. Go." 

Hammond obeys, lying down beside the other two men. They retreat to the cover of trees as a military truck comes around the bend. The truck stops and an officer gets out, running over to check the unconscious officers. 

Behind him, Jack carefully sneaks up to the passenger side of the truck and zats the driver. The other soldier jumps up, reaching for his gun, but he isn't quick enough and Jack zats him as well. 

Wow. Daniel never realized how… cool… Jack was sometimes. 

They open up the back of the van, and Jack fires the zat at the box containing their futuristic weapons, breaking the lock. He kicks it a few times, then throws the lid open to reveal their confiscated gear. Jack pulls out the GDO, tossing it to Sam, and picks up another zat before closing the lid again. 

"All right, everything you confiscated from us is in these two boxes?" Jack asks Hammond. 

"Except for your ray gun, yes." 

Heh. Ray gun. 

"Right," Jack says. He gets up, stacks the boxes, aims the zat. "Watch yourself." 

He fires three times and blue energy crackles over the boxes before they disintegrate completely. Hammond looks astonished, as is to be expected. 

"All right, your Major What's-His-Name had videotapes of this thing in action." 

"Uh, yes. It was in those boxes along with everything else." 

"Good." Jack jumps into the truck. Daniel has the sense that he's thinking three or four steps ahead, and yeah, it's pretty sexy when Jack gets like that. "Any cash?" 

Hammond digs into his pockets and Jack snatches it all up. "That's good. I'll pay you back, with interest." 

"One more thing," Sam says as they walk forward. "You have to keep everything you've seen and everything we've told you a secret and I mean for the rest of your life." 

They stop when they reach the truck's cab. Hammond nods. "General Hammond. I like the sound of that." He turns to Jack. "What are you going to do now?" 

Holding it in front of his chest so that Hammond can't see it, O'Neill opens the zat again before turning around. "Well, you're better off not knowing. But I do want you to know that what I'm about to do keeps you from getting court-martialed." 

With that, he shoots Hammond, who collapses, unconscious. Jack pauses for a moment with what looks like some regret. Yeah, Daniel knows. Those things sting like a bitch. "We should get off this road. Find the interstate." 

The older man leads them into the woods. 

"So what's the plan?" Daniel asks. 

"Find the Stargate," Jack replies over his shoulder. 

Er… "Find the Stargate? That's - that's the plan?" 

That gets him a less than sincere smile. "Elegant in its simplicity, don't you think?" 

"And if we don't find the Stargate?" 

Jack sucks in a breath. "There's one in Antarctica." 

For the love of all that's holy. "There's one in Antarctica. That's - that's a fabulous plan!" he says with a sneer. 

"Assuming we locate the Stargate, how then do we get back to the future?" Teal'c asks. 

Jack holds up his finger. "Well, now, that's all in the note." He stops, turning to face the team as they come to a halt. "Right?" he asks Sam. 

"Uh, no, sir." 

"No, sir," Jack repeats, about two seconds away from a major blow-up. 

Sam pulls out the note. "Well, it - it doesn't explain how to get back, at least not... explicitly." 

She hands it over. Jack reads aloud, "Help them. August tenth, nine-fifteen AM; August eleventh, six-oh-three PM…. That's helpful." 

He hands the note to Daniel, who reads over it. 

"Well, I suppose he had to be intentionally cryptic so as not to risk changing his own history," Sam explains. 

Daniel looks at her. 

"August tenth... that's _cryptic_." Jack really is _this_ close to losing it, Daniel can tell. 

"Well, wait a second," he says, taking the reigns for a moment. "It just means that on August tenth at nine-fifteen AM, something is going to happen." 

Sam nods, catching his midnight train to a solution. "And happens again the next day at six-oh-three. We just have to figure out what that something is." 

She looks over to Teal'c, who merely raises an eyebrow. Jack, being Jack, just gives them a skeptical look. "Right." 

He turns and resumes course, with SG-1 following. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Isn't this a nice little hike, Jack thinks? Miles and miles of Colorado woods during 1969. What better way to spend the summer? They finally reach the highway and a little red Corvette speeds by.

"You know, the 'Vette blew it when they went with that body style. They used to be so cool," he says to Daniel, grateful to seize on a safe topic. 

Daniel frowns. "Actually, I was about four-and-a-half-years-old in sixty-nine." 

Ugh. Yeah. Jack knew that. From his file. They'd skipped Daniel's birthday. That was supposed to be tomorrow. July 8th. His gift was at home on the end-table. Jack sighed. He felt old. He was really only about nine years older than Daniel, but sometimes it felt like an entire lifetime gapped between them. 

They cross to the other side of the road, where there's a ditch that they can hide in. Jack nods to his second. "Carter, stick your thumb out." 

Sexist? Maybe. But this was 1969. He turns and gets down in the ditch with Daniel and Teal'c. The three of them crouch down there while Carter stands by the road, sticking her thumb out. 

A couple of cars pass by. 

Daniel turns to him. "We should go to New York." 

Be…cause…? "Why?" 

"Well, that's where Catherine used to live, or lives. She's the only person outside of the military who has the slightest idea where the Stargate might be. I really don't think she's going to tell us over the phone." 

Way to go, Daniel! Always thinking with that sexy, messed-up brain of his.… 

"Daniel, you can't," Carter says over her shoulder. "In order to preserve our past, Catherine has to meet you for the first time years from now." 

That's really annoying. 

"So, we go in disguise. Pretend to be... foreigners." Daniel shrugs. 

Oh yes. Because Daniel has such a good poker-face. He's like an archeologist-actor. "How are you gonna do that?" 

Daniel fixes him with a look. "Well, I speak twenty-three different languages. _Pick_ one." 

Oh. Yeah. Okay, point. 

More cars pass. 

"Catherine said herself she began her research in the late sixties. I mean, who knows - maybe we're the ones who gave her the idea in the first place?" 

A white van passes Carter, not even slowing as it zooms by. Frustrated, Jack watches her throw up her hands before sticking her thumb out again. 

"This method appears to be ineffective," Teal'c says. 

He gets up and climbs up the ditch to the road. Sensing imminent disaster, Jack gets up and follows. Please don't zat anyone. Please don't zat anyone, he thinks. "Teal'c? Teal'c!" 

A multicolored, brightly painted bus, which looks like a reject from _The Wiz_ , is easing on down the road toward them. Teal'c steps directly into its path, holding his arms up, palms out towards the vehicle. It pulls to a stop, the peace-sign hood-ornament less than an inch from the big guy's chest. 

Christ, that nearly gave him a heart attack. Jack runs up and hits him in the shoulder. "What are you thinking?" 

"That is effective, O'Neill." 

The bus's – and that's a kind term – doors swing open to reveal a long-haired, bearded, young man at the wheel, with a smiling, dark-haired girl in a poncho beside him. Both are clearly hippies. 

Jack _loves_ hippies. Loves them! His father used to eat hippies for breakfast…. 

"Hey. We would've stopped, man," the bearded kid says. 

"Hi. Listen, we've got gas money. Where are you headed?" Jack asks. 

"Upstate New York, some big concert. Where you headed?" 

Well, now, see? The universe smiles kindly on Dr. Daniel Jackson's plan. "New York... back east." 

And just like that, "Hop in!" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The hippies – Michael and Jenny – spend the next few days taking them to New York. They help SG-1 find some cheap clothes – which look _ridiculous_ \- and yet Daniel seems strangely at home in them. But Jack's not thinking about how attractive Dr. Jackson is in a velvet blazer with suede elbow patches. Nope.

He's not thinking about it when Daniel' teaches Teal'c to drive the bus – which is just plain endearing to watch. And he's certainly not thinking about it at night, when they stop and sit around a campfire, the glow reflecting off Daniel's glasses and brown-gold hair, just as it had on that first night on Abydos. 

No, he's got his head on the mission – where it belongs. 

"A flare," Carter burps out suddenly. She then goes on to explain how a solar flare is responsible for the time travel. 

Of course, Daniel wants to know why they didn't time travel before, but Carter's on it, explaining how flares are impossible to predict, but that Hammond had her do research on it back in the beginning days of the program, and now they can use that knowledge to get them home. The date and times are right there in the note! 

Unfortunately, Jenny and Michael overhear their little soiree and have to ask, point-blank, for an explanation. 

"You said you were in trouble with the establishment," Jenny says. 

"And we are," Jack replies. "Just… not the establishment of this world." 

They're not buying it. "No, it's true, Michael. We came to Earth to hide among your people, a long, long time ago." 

Daniel catches on. "From a galaxy far, far away." 

There is a pause as Michael and Jenny look at them, not convinced. 

Jack steamrolls on. "But now it's time to go home and we need your help." 

"How?" Jenny asks softly. 

Daniel says, "We need to be in a place called New York by tomorrow." 

"I don't know, man," Michael hedges. 

Jack and Carter exchange looks and Carter turns back to the fire, going for her zat; Jack reaches down and picks up the zat beside him. "It's all right," he says to them. He fires once into the campfire. As the energy from the blast hits the fire, the flames shoot up in a white-hot blaze. 

"Whoa! That was unreal!" Michael says. 

"It is in fact extremely real." Teal'c stares them down. "As is our need for assistance." 

"We have to help them get home, Michael," she says. Good girl, Jack thinks. 

Hippies are pushovers. "Okay. We'll do it." 

Daniel looks relieved. Teal'c is typically impassive. Jack smiles. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They take the van on up to the observatory in New York, where Carter reminds him to use the hydrogen-alpha solar filter or he'll burn his eyes out. Like that's something he'd forget.

He and Teal'c get ready to test their little solar flare theory, while Daniel and Carter head off to see Catherine. Jack's sorry not to tag along; he almost wants Carter to sit here and do the flare thing – even though it _is_ kind of cool, but at this point in the game, Catherine is more likely to respond to Carter than to him. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel has apprehensions about going to Catherine, but it was his bright idea in the first place. He and Sam show up on her door, looking quite odd, he's sure, and he's sporting a somewhat hammed up German accent.

He sells her some cock-and-bull story about their fathers being friends and working on the gate research together; she buys it – mostly because Daniel knows everything there is to know about the Stargate's history and Sam happens to drop Ernest Littlefield's name — and she tells them the gate is in storage in an armory in Washington. 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Jack and Teal'c have a nice little heart to heart. The great thing about Teal'c is that you're never really sure exactly what he's referring to during talks like that. But he gets the sense that the big guy's on his side, where Daniel is concerned.

Either that, or he's just constipated. It's hard to tell with Teal'c. 

Then the Jaffa asks what will happen if the solar flares don't work. 

Jack looks down at his shoes. What would happen? Entropic cascade? Having to live through disco again? Earth-plasma-goo? "Guess we stay." He looks down at his watch. "All right, it's show time." 

He puts his eyes to the lens, waits with baited breath, and sees his first solar flare. "Brother Teal'c, at precisely six-oh-three PM tomorrow, we're going home." 

Teal'c nods, smiling just a bit. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next morning Daniel and Carter pick them up and they all head to Washington.

He gets off the bus and goes to say goodbye to Jenny and Michael. "Listen, I really have to say this. The two of you have been unbelievably.…" He was gonna say cool, but that wouldn't translate. 

"Groovy," Daniel supplies. 

"Groovy, I think, is the word." 

Daniel edges forward. "Uh, the people of our world will be extremely grateful." 

Jack nods. "Not the establishment," he clarifies. 

Daniel catches himself. "No. Not... not them." 

Crap. They both suck at goodbyes. "I think what we're trying to say is that we have to go the rest of the way alone." 

"Why?" 

Because time travel isn't for hippies unless they use the right kind of drugs! Jesus. "Because it's dangerous." 

"We want you to take us with you," Michael says. 

"We can't do that," Jack fires back. 

"But you owe us." 

Is he going to have to zat them? Because he so will. "Yes, we do. We owe you a lot. But you belong here…. You have to trust me on this. This is a _great_ time—" He smiles. 

Jenny interrupts, "Michael got drafted." 

Hearing that, Jack stops and stares at them. A cold shiver down his spine. He knows exactly – instinctively – that Michael is not gonna make it out of Nam. 

Daniel's smile abruptly fades. Daniel knows it too. 

Go to Canada, Jack thinks. Stay. 

"We're just going to the concert first. You know, one last blast. But if we went with you...." He trails off. Jack sighs and looks away. "I don't wanna - kill anybody," the kid says. 

Jack winces. God damn it. "Michael —" 

"Sir, you can't say anything," Carter says quickly. "He has to make up his own mind…. We can walk the rest of the way from here." 

"We got to go," he says quietly. "I'm sorry." Really sorry, because he can tell that kid is as good as dead. Him, and thousands of others, in one of the stupidest mistakes of all time. 

As the bus pulls up to the armory, they climb out. Jenny follows, stopping Carter to talk to her. "Your secret's safe with us." 

And Carter hugs her. "We know that. Thank you. Take care." 

Jack doesn't look back at those kids. He can't. They're in the past. Michael is already dead and Jenny is probably married to somebody else. 

He's never gonna forget their faces, though. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They rush into the armory warehouse, hook up the Stargate to some truck engines, get it powered up, and barely escape the guard. The timing has to be exact, and they leave just a little too early to escape heavy fire.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They gate to the embarkation room of Stargate Command, but aside from the four of them, it's completely empty – abandoned – and the lights are dimmed. The pieces of equipment aside from the Stargate are all wrapped up. It looks as though no one has used the place in years.

Jack gets up off the floor and looks around. "Auntie Em? Auntie Em?" 

"Where is everyone?" Carter asks and he has a bad feeling about this. 

The bay doors slide open then and an elderly woman in a white dress steps into the gate room. "Hello, Jack," she says. 

Startled, Jack turns to stare at her. The woman walks up to the base of the ramp, looking at them with amazement and delight. "Teal'c? Daniel?" She laughs. "I hardly recognized you with hair." 

Carter looks at Daniel and Teal'c, both of whom look completely puzzled. Jack steps forward cautiously. "Do... do we know you?" 

She smiles at Carter. "Sam will recognize me. Come closer." 

They slowly walk down to the base of the ramp, with Carter in the lead. As she reaches the woman, Carter suddenly smiles brightly, her eyes lighting up with recognition. "Oh my God. Cassandra!" They hug. 

"Dear Sam." 

Okay, who is this broad? He taps Carter on the shoulder. "Excuse me. Who _is_ this?" 

"Cassandra." 

Cassie? As in, Janet's Cassie? Their Cassie? "Cassie's thirteen-years-old!" 

"Not anymore, Jack. I've been expecting you - my whole life, in fact. You entered the Stargate a few seconds too soon, so the flare threw you far into the future. I've come to send you back to where you belong." 

Daniel comes down the ramp gently. "How did you know we'd come here?" 

"When I was old enough to understand, Sam explained what happened, and that I'd be the one to send you home." 

Wow. Just how long were they around for the first two trips? 

Cassandra explains they have to go quickly, lifts her arm, and uses some kind of device on the back of her hand. She traces a finger around the center stone and it lights up with a green glow. The wormhole activates again - this time there's no whoosh and the chevrons don't spin. The wormhole simply fills in the center of the ring. 

It's just about the coolest thing he's ever seen and that includes the eclipse and the solar flare. Carter takes the GDO out of her bag, keying in the activation code. 

"I will tell you this," she says, looking to Jack and Daniel. "Your journey's just beginning." 

They stop and look at her for a moment, and Carter puts the GDO back before SG-1 turns and walks up the ramp through the wormhole. And thank God, the general is there to welcome them home. Home to July 8th, 1998! Jack throws up his hands in relief, pointing both fingers at Hammond. "Yes! 

He heads down to meet Hammond at the base of the ramp, with the rest of the team behind him. 

Jack snaps off a salute. "We're home, thanks to one sparky young Lieutenant Hammond." 

Carter smiles. "How did you know, sir?" 

Hammond takes a deep breath. "When I was a young lieutenant, I was ordered to escort four people out of Cheyenne Mountain. In the vest pocket of one I found a note with my name on it. Needless to say, I followed its instructions." 

"But you couldn't have known when to give it to me?" 

Yeah, Jack had been wondering about that. 

"No, not until I saw the cut on your hand. Remember when I took your cuffs off." George smiles. 

"Then you've been waiting for this to happen." 

"Ever since we met. I almost didn't let you go." 

"But if you didn't, you would have changed your own history," Carter says. 

Wow. Jack can't wrap his mind around it. That means that Hammond must have known all this time – Daniel trapped with the fish guy, the ships blowing up, everything – he must have known they'd survive long enough to get to this day. And he never said anything. 

Bastard. 

Okay, Earth-plasma-goo notwithstanding but… Jesus! He simply smiles, a very fake smile, and shakes his head. 

George says, "It's going to be a _long_ debriefing, people. We'll start in one hour." 

"Yes, sir," Jack says happily. 

George turns back around. "Oh, by the way, Colonel... with interest, you owe me five hundred thirty-nine dollars and fifty-cents." 

Oh shit. 

Carter and Daniel can't help but grin at that one. 

He smiles. Worth it. "Yes, sir." 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel took a long, hot shower, got through the debriefing, and was grateful to get home. It had been the longest day of his life. Literally.

He was about to turn on the TV and see what was on Discovery when the phone rang. 

"Hello?" 

"Daniel!" It was Jack. He sounded awful. 

"Jack? You all right?" 

"No! You gotta come, quick!" 

What? Shit. What? He dropped the remote. "What's wrong? Are you okay – are you hurt?" 

"Just come. Please, Danny." 

Daniel was already making his way to the door, slipping into his shoes in mid-stride. "Okay. I'm coming. Just, just hang on. Are you hurt? Should I call nine-one-one?" 

"No! No, I don't think I can explain this one. Just —" 

"Let me call Janet —" 

"No! Look, God damn it, Daniel, just, please listen to me for once!" 

"Okay! Okay! I'm coming, hang on!" 

Dropped the phone on the floor, grabbed the keys, flew down the road like the hounds of hell were on him, and got to Jack's house in under nine minutes. He ran up the walk and pounded on the door. "Jack? Jack!" Pushed it open with his shoulder and stumbled into darkness. 

The lights came on. 

"Surprise!" 

Daniel reared back and fell on his ass. "What the —?" 

Kazoos were going off and confetti was lobbed at him. People. People were in Jack's house. Laughing at him. 

"Happy birthday!" they screamed. 

Happy. What? "Happy birthday?" he said stupidly. 

Jack came over and held out his hand; helped Daniel up. "You got here fast." Smiled a fragile, heart-stopping smile. 

"Jack? You're okay?" 

"He's quick," Jack said to Sam. 

"You – you made me think you were dying or something, you asshole!" Daniel shouted, but this just seemed to make people laugh harder. 

He looked around. Teal'c and Sam, Janet, Hammond, some of the scientists, the nurses, hell, it looked the half of the SGC was at Jack's house. There were balloons and streamers and… and cake… and everything he never had as a kid. 

Oh shit. He was _not_ going to get all emotional. "You.… This is for me?" 

Jack's hand was on his lower back, pushing him forward. "Yeah, Danny. It's your birthday, isn't it? That's what your file says.…" Jack frowned. 

"No, it is. I just… um, I never celebrate it." 

Jack smiled warmly. "You do now." 

"Happy birthday, honey," Janet said, coming to hug him. "You should have seen your face!" 

Sam was next, getting in on the hugging action. "You busted through the door! Go Daniel!" 

Teal'c bowed. "It was indeed an impressive display." 

He blushed. "God… I… I don't know what to say. Thank you…. I think —" 

"Have some cake!" Cassie said, running up to Daniel. He swooped down and hugged her. 

"Oh, it's good to see you again!" He ruffled her hair. Good to see her at thirteen and good to know she'll make it to her golden years. 

Someone turned on music, and someone else thrust a glass of champagne at him, and everyone sort of drew him over to the huge cake – with the pyramids on the design – that rested on the table piled high with gifts. It was all very overwhelming. 

Jack just sorta stood along the wall, in the background, smiling. 

Daniel hadn't realized he'd had so many friends. Everyone was wishing him well, shaking his hand. All that talking and laughing. A party. For him. 

It was very touching. It was touching, even when they sang him "Happy Birthday" out of tune and he took more than one try to blow out his candles. 

"What did you wish for?" Janet said… quite lasciviously. He loved that woman. 

For Jack's leggy brunette to die of a flesh-eating disease? No. That wasn't nice. "For us to always be good friends." 

"Aw," everyone said. 

Jack's eyes sorta… twinkled. 

Cassie was impatient to open presents. She led Daniel over to a chair, where he unwrapped gift after gift. He would have to go out tomorrow and get thank-you cards. "I've never had so many presents in my life!" he said. 

There were the predictable offerings – books and rare artifacts and gift cards to places like Borders and a generous coupon from Mrs. Welsh at The New Leaf. 

Sam and Janet got him really amazing clothes. "Wow, I never would have picked something this nice out for myself." 

"We know!" they said, giggling. 

Teal'c presented him with a very handsome Tarot deck. "Thank you, Teal'c. I love them!" 

"O'Neill said you would." 

He chanced a glance at Jack. No gift from the older man yet. Daniel had to wonder. He raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?" 

"Indeed. It was his idea for this festive occasion." 

Ah. Jack's idea. "Really." 

Jack shrugged. "You needed a party." Like it was no big deal. Like it didn't require any planning. But Daniel knew better. 

"Where's your gift, Jack?" Cassie asked. 

Jack smiled. "Over there. Toward the back." He nodded and Daniel went digging. 

"Fancy paper," he joked. Jack had wrapped it in newspaper. 

"Hey, I'm pretty good at wrapping." 

Daniel smiled, remembering Christmas. "Yes. You are." He opened the box and found – a watch. A military watch. But rectangular. How… unusual. 

Jack came over to him and picked up the watch, putting it on his wrist for Daniel like he was a kid. "The strap will never break and it won't cut skin. It can survive three-hundred-feet under water and a fire of up to two-thousand-degrees. It tells four different time zones besides ours, lights up, and says the day. So, you know, so you never lose track of time." 

It was an unusual gift, but he liked it. Actually, he liked it a lot because it was very, very Jack. "Thank you, Jack." 

The older man shrugged. "No more excuses at briefings." Everyone laughed. "I had a time finding the right gift, you know. This just sorta came to me last minute." 

Janet nodded. "He spent all of Friday night scouring the mall. Geez, he's a picky shopper." 

"Fri—Friday night?" Daniel stammered. Jack was… shopping for his birthday? On Friday night? 

Sam nodded. "He dragged all of us." 

Okay. Now there were tears. He had to blink a lot. Damn, he could feel a prick of heat behind his nose and wondered if he looked like he was gonna cry. Peered up at Jack. "That's where you went?" 

Jack nodded, looking him right in the eye. 

"Oh." Daniel… rejoiced. Inwardly, of course. 

People ate second helpings of cake, mingled, some of the younger folks even danced. Daniel was happy. Delirious enough to let Cassie drag him out to the living room to spin around a bit. When they got tired, he sneaked her a sip of champagne. 

Eventually the party wound down and people started heading out. He kissed Sam and Janet goodbye. Thanked the general and Teal'c and said goodbye to the guests. He made sure to stay until everyone else had left. 

Then he turned around and looked at Jack, who was busy picking up abandoned cups and plates. He advanced. 

" _That's_ where you were on Friday night? Getting me a present! You had me think.…" 

Jack smiled. "Did it make you jealous?" 

"Christ," Daniel said, coming to stand beside him in the living room. "You can be such a bastard." 

Jack nodded, silently laughing. "I have to admit, you looked a little peaked." 

"Whatever." Daniel folded his arms. 

Jack came closer. And closer. "Daniel. Look at the back of your watch." 

Frowning, Daniel tried to flip it over, but it was on tight. He took it off and peered at the back. An engraving.… Pushing his glasses up, he squinted. 

"Can you read it?" 

It was… it was Ancient. He looked at Jack. Then back at the watch. "Carpi Dieus?" 

Jack nodded. "Seize the day." Closer now. Could feel the heat coming off of Jack. 

"Damn, you can be a charming son of a bitch." He turned, kissed the older man's cheek. 

Jack nodded again and backed them up toward the couch. "I know." Wolfish smile. 

Daniel smiled back. Jack kissed him so softly then. It was so _good_. Daniel hugged the older man closer. 

"You really made my day, Jack." 

And that really made Jack happy, apparently. "Good." He swatted Daniel's ass. "Now, birthday boy, you've got a choice. You can either head your pretty little archeologist's ass home, or you can stay and let me have my way with you." 

A pointed, heated look. Damn. The temptation was overwhelming. He smiled, feeling very fragile, and kissed Jack on his other cheek. Offered up his wrist so Jack could put the watch back on. Then, "Goodnight, Jack." 

Jack paused, hiding disappointment well, and hugged him. "'Night, Danny." Turned and continued picking up the trash. 

"You want I should help?" Daniel asked. 

Jack shook his head. "I want you should go now, before I jump you, and get you in your birthday suit." Affectionately put, but not an idle threat, Daniel sensed. 

"Thanks, Jack." He turned and walked to the foyer. Got as far as his hand on the brass knob. "Ah, fuck it." 

Turned back around, strode into the living room, tossed his glasses on the table, and kissed Jack. Hard.


	44. Bolero

**46\. Bolero**

 

 

 

 

 

"Mmm!" Jack moaned in surprise, standing there, plastic cup in one hand and a very aggressive Daniel in the other. Daniel had grabbed up his face and planted a big one on him – tongue sweeping in and that lush mouth sealing over his own.

Damn. 

Zero to sixty in under ten seconds flat. 

He got with the program and opened wider, giving Daniel what he wanted – access. A moan. A shuffle. The taste of icing and pure sex. Next thing he knew, he had caught Daniel up in his arms and was doing a bit of tonsil-tasting himself. Fuck, the man smelled so good and was finally -- _finally_ \-- no longer denying their attraction. 

Which was Jack's job. 

Shit. 

He broke away and cupped Daniel's cheeks, panting. "Daniel.…" 

"Jack —" the younger man keened. Daniel moved in, but Jack only let them brush lips. 

"You… you don't want this." 

Dark, blue eyes. "Yes, I do." Moved forward again, making Jack lean back a bit. 

"No, you don't. I mean you do, but you won't." 

"What?" Confusion, overtop the lust. The very real, very heady lust coming off him in waves. 

Shit. This was so hard. How many times did they have to play this scene? Daniel here, right _here_ , in his arms; he could feel the man's body pang with heat and want. "I made you a promise. I said I'd be strong." 

Daniel paused. Eventually those blue eyes looked up from Jack's lips and into Jack's eyes. "Yeah. I made a promise, too. I guess I broke first." Tiny smile. "Want you," Daniel mouthed. 

"God.…" 

Light kisses, because that had to be okay, just light kisses, nothing heavy. Nothing too hot. Except kissing Daniel _was_ hot, no matter how the job got done. The younger man titled his head and just sort of… _wrapped_ himself around Jack. 

Now, Jack was a strong man. 

But not that strong. 

The moment he felt Daniel's hardness poke against his hip, he pulled the younger man flush up against him and just attacked him with his mouth – biting at his lips, kissing his jaw, licking his throat – tasting the salty sweat there, God, so good – hands flattening over Daniel's firm chest, down his trim waist, over and around, cupping that pert ass. 

"Oh, God," Daniel moaned, his own hands sliding up and down Jack's back. 

_Please. Please be strong for me, Jack._

"No," Jack said suddenly, stepping out of the embrace. "No, Danny. No." 

Daniel frowned. "But you want me?" Stared at the tent – the impressive tent, by now – in Jack's pants. 

"Painfully. But as you pointed out, it's _wrong_." Daniel looked hurt. Jack didn't like hurting him, but it felt like maybe he got a little of his own soul back. "Or at least, it will seem wrong to you tomorrow morning, and there's three things in this world Jack O'Neill cannot handle. Kids crying. Gushy declarations of any sort. And guilt. So, no, Daniel. Just… much as I want to? No." 

Daniel looked down at the carpet for a long time. "I really hurt you," he murmured. 

Well yeah. Who didn't see it coming, though? "I'm still standing," Jack said just as softly. 

Watery smile. Slight nod. "It's just… sometimes it seems so _right_." Daniel looked pained and Jack sympathized. He knew exactly what Daniel meant – could feel it coming off him like swirls of heat. Talking about it wasn't even necessary. 

Jack brushed the bangs out of Daniel's eyes. Slid his thumbs down Daniel's face, over those high cheekbones. "You _are_ beautiful, Dr. Jackson." Came out of nowhere. 

Daniel leaned into the touch. "Thought you didn't like gushy declarations." 

His hand, of its own volition, wrapped around the back of Daniel's neck so that he could stroke the man's pulse with his thumb. "I don't mind making them half so much as getting them." Smiled. Had to stop. Had to stop touching…. 

Daniel closed his eyes and leaned even more into the touch. 

Aw, Christ. 

Pulled Danny into a hug, let the other man just sort of melt against him. "Danny, Danny… what am I going to do with you?" Jack whispered, sort of swaying them back and forth. 

God, that was perfection. The warm, solid flesh around him. Daniel. _Daniel_. 

Daniel's hands in his hair. Daniel's lush mouth pressing closed kisses to his throat. Daniel's scent and heat and shy, desperate plea for approval all around Jack now. 

Daniel's mouth opening. Sucking. Sucking on his neck. Jack groaned, his hands tangling in Daniel's long hair. A shift of the hips, and then Daniel rocking against him almost imperceptibly. 

Jack groaned again when he felt Daniel's hand smooth down his back, grab his hip, move to the front and _stroke_ his dick slowly and with absolute deliberation. "Ch-Christ." 

Daniel pulled back a bit and watched closely as he continued to palm Jack. 

"You're gonna regret this, Daniel. You're gonna hate me," he ground out. 

The younger man shook his head. "No, I don't think so." 

"What… ah, God… what about this time is any different?" Was he actually trying to talk himself out of an orgasm? Did he get hit with the stupid stick somewhere back in 1969? 

Daniel peppered his cheek with kisses and in between said, "I'm done with regrets. I'm done." 

"Just like that? Giving up on Sha're?" He squeezed his eyes shut when the hand stilled. 

"No. If I find her, I'm with her, Jack." 

It hurt like a son of a bitch, but Jack already knew that, and so he just nodded. "I know. So…?" 

"So, I can't promise you forever." Daniel gave him a sad half-smile. "But for right now, it's right, isn't it?" A frown. 

"I've been saying that all along." Which was true. 

"And… and so let's stop wasting time?" 

Looked at Daniel long and hard. "Are you _sure_?" 

The hand was back, cupping him, squeezing just a bit through his trousers, and then back to just stroking up and down. He was gonna faint from lack of blood between his ears. 

"Jack. Fuck me." There it was. That breathy, slutty little whisper that would always, always bring Jack to his knees. 

With a grunt, he smashed Daniel against him and it got wild fast – hands grabbing at everything, tugging, pulling, fingernails raking over flesh. Daniel seemed just as starved for him, moaning and humping against him like a total whore. It was the hottest thing Jack had ever seen. 

The younger man broke away suddenly, grabbing Jack's shirt up with both fists and then hauling him over to the couch. He pushed and Jack tumbled with an exhalation of breath, and then Daniel was on his lap, hands back on his shirt, _ripping_ it open so that he could lave at Jack's chest. 

Jack arched, his hands going instinctively to Daniel's hips, bringing them down, making Daniel ride his cock for a while, letting the younger man's mouth go anywhere it pleased. He cupped Daniel's ass and squeezed and squeezed – it just fit, it was so unbearably erotic. 

Daniel whined and moaned a little, rocking his hips a good deal while he lifted his own shirt off. Seeing all that smooth, baby-soft skin – Jack pounced. Tongued a nipple, raked his nails down the younger man's back, sucked on anything within reach. 

"Oh," Daniel sighed, widening the circle of his hips. 

Jack tugged sharply on the man's belt. "Get it off," he growled, meaning Daniel's pants. 

Standing up with a devious smile, Daniel slowly – Christ, what a tease – slowly unbuttoned his fly and slid his pants down. No underwear. Just Daniel. The man kicked off his pants and pulled off his socks and stood there, naked. 

Jack sat on the edge of the couch and just sent the tip of his tongue all over Daniel's tummy, around the navel, over the curve of his hip, just above his groin. He could feel Daniel's swollen cock jut out and bump against his neck. "Christ, I love it when you're like this, Daniel." 

Daniel's hands in his hair, encouraging, and Jack took his cock – just the head – swiping his tongue over it, teasing. Fisted the warm length; lapped at Daniel's pre-come. 

The younger man grew impatient. "I want you to fuck me." Boldly stated, no whisper about this now. 

He looked up at Daniel, who seemed… uncharacteristically sure of himself. And very, very wanton. "I've created a monster." 

Daniel was on him then – ripping his shirt the rest of the way off, pulling him up, then Daniel got on his knees and undid Jack's belt. Helped him step out of pants. Ran his cheek over Jack's throbbing dick, mouthed it through the material, _worshipped_ it. 

Jack stepped back, quickly got rid of the rest of his clothes, and then Daniel pulled him down to the floor. They rolled for a bit, streamers tangling and balloons bouncing around, mouths attacking each other, kissing everywhere. It had been so long. Too long. Far too fucking long. 

Smelled so good. Tasted so good. Wanted in. Wanted _in_. 

Daniel was getting cute with him. Slapped his ass. Bit a nipple. So he wanted it rough? Okay, Jack could play for a little while. 

He rolled them over until Daniel was on his stomach and then he trapped Daniel on the floor. "You know, I think you ought to pay for making me wait this long. For wasting all this time." Jack started slowly humping the back of Daniel's thigh. 

"What do you want me to do?" Breathy, but not at all afraid. 

"What do you think you deserve?" Jack asked, running his palm over the swell of Daniel's ass. 

"Anything you want to give me," Daniel answered immediately. And shit, that was unexpected. He didn't think he could _get_ any harder. 

Experimenting a bit, he pinched Daniel's ass and then spanked him. Had _no_ idea that he would enjoy it so much. Seeing that red mark – hearing Daniel moan and watching him slither along the floor – fuck. He did it again. And again. Watched as Daniel's nails raked the carpet. 

"Yeah," Daniel hissed all of a sudden. 

Okay. He definitely liked where this was going. Positioned Daniel's hips up slightly and spanked – controlled and slow – while thrusting between his thighs. No, _this_ was the hottest thing Jack had ever seen. 

"Mm," Daniel said, pushing back. 

Jack decided some reward was in order, so he bent down and kissed every notch in Daniel's spine. Worked his way down to that pretty, pink ass and bit into the flesh. Parted the cheeks and ran his tongue along the entire cleft. 

"Fuck, fuck," Daniel cried out, hand going to his own cock. 

Jack viciously pinched his thigh. "You come before I say and they'll be hell to pay, Jackson," he warned. 

This only seemed to ratchet Daniel up another notch. One last little tug, which Jack allowed, and then the younger man's hands were back out in front of him, as if he were going to do pushups. 

Jack licked Daniel's ass and hips with just the tip of his tongue, leaving a wet trail there, all the while scratching his nails down over Daniel's thighs. They trembled, of course, but Daniel held his position. Still, he wanted to keep Daniel guessing. So he spanked again, smiling at the startled yelp, and then at the way Daniel lowered his shoulders and raised his ass. 

Jack kissed the red stain of his handprint. "More?" 

"Yeah. Yes, please." 

Hm, so submissive. It was like a drug. Daniel had had Jack on tenterhooks all this time – waiting, wanting, not being able to do a thing about it. Now Jack had Daniel begging for it and yes, he was enjoying it immensely. 

"You think you deserve it?" 

"God, if I don't," Daniel panted, "I'll do something _to_ deserve it." 

"Slut," Jack hissed affectionately, running his hand through Daniel's soft hair. He gave Daniel what they both wanted – a sharp series of stinging slaps, and then he turned Daniel over and welded their mouths together. 

Daniel was moaning and whimpering and trying to just cling and wrap around every inch of him and Jack wasn't complaining. Eventually, though, he had to pull up for air. 

"I'm not fucking you on the rug again." 

Blue, blue eyes. "Fuck me anywhere you want, Jack, just fuck me." 

Damn. 

He tugged them up and, kissing all the way, they stumbled into the bathroom. Jack haphazardly rifled through the medicine cabinet for lube, while Daniel pressed up behind him and nipped and kissed at the back of his neck. 

Then a thought occurred. "Should I use a condom?" Meaning – did Daniel sleep with anyone else? 

He watched through the mirror as Daniel shook his head – held his gaze. "No. No need." 

Jack nodded. "Okay." Him neither. 

Daniel smiled and bit his shoulder – hard – and sneaked his hand around to fist Jack's already aching cock. Then the younger man began an assault on his ear. 

Shit, they were never gonna make it to the bedroom if Daniel kept that up. "You don't stop that," Jack warned, "and I'm gonna do you right here." 

Daniel grinned and pumped him harder. 

"Fuck," Jack swore, spinning around and kissing Daniel again. One hand gripped the lube, the other holding Daniel to him. And then the younger man started _thrusting_ against him and it was too much. 

He pushed them down onto the fuzzy bathmat and quickly lied between Daniel's legs. Daniel hooked those long legs around Jack, his taunt thighs hugging Jack's waist, and arched up when Jack began mashing their hips together. He could feel Daniel's leaking cock on his belly; rubbed his own stiff prick just under Daniel's balls. 

"Wanna fuck you so bad," he whispered in Daniel's ear, opening the lube with one hand and, silently thanking God he was so good at one-handed pushups, smeared some on his fingers. 

He brought it down to Daniel's hole and gently pushed in. Daniel sucked in a breath. 

"Hurt?" 

"Cold," Daniel clarified. 

"Sorry, baby." 

"S'ok." Daniel planted his feet on either side of Jack's legs and lifted up a bit. "You sure you want me like this? On my back?" 

Jack smiled and worked in his forefinger slowly. "Wanna kiss you." 

Daniel smiled, shy again suddenly, and nodded. Draped his left forearm over his eyes and relaxed while Jack gently got in two fingers. 

He started sliding them in and out, looking for the nub. He thought he'd have it memorized by now, but no, they were still clumsy about this part. He kissed the ridge of Daniel's cheekbones and murmured, "Want in you. Waited so long —" 

"I know, I know," Daniel whispered, rolling his hips to open himself more for Jack. 

But Jack didn't want him pushing himself. Didn't want Daniel hurt. At three fingers they had to stop, letting Daniel get used to the invasion. Jack blessed youth, noticing that Daniel didn't lose his impressive erection. 

"Warming up a bit?" he asked. 

Daniel just looked at him. Big blue eyes. He could see it – the innocent and the slut at war. Daniel wanted to get fucked and then again, he didn't. Daniel wanted Jack and then again, he wanted his wife. Daniel wanted the SGC and then again.… 

He watched the war waging deep down in those dark pupils, and he pressed his fingers in and out, in and out, finally finding the younger man's prostate, and with a gasp, Daniel's battle was over and lust won out. 

"Fuck me. _Fuck_ me," Daniel demanded. 

Jack got a bit more lube, slicked up his now-purple dick, and began pushing in. The head, and then when Daniel was ready, inch by agonizing inch. 

It was like sliding home. 

He rested his forehead on Daniel's collarbone, sent his tongue out to lap up some sweat at the hollow base of the man's throat. "You okay?" he panted, breathless. Jesus, it was crazy. He was fucking Daniel on the bathroom floor. 

Daniel dragged his knees up and held them to his chest, shaking, straining, out of words. For once. 

Jack pushed up, carrying most of his weight on his hands, and began rocking in and out. Short jabs at first, and then the long, slow strokes he knew Daniel liked. Could feel sweat bead up on his back, pool at the base of his spine. Watched Daniel's head thrash back and forth – it was amazing, all that hair – and then Daniel hooked his ankles over Jack's back and gripped the tub with his right hand, slapping the toilet with his left. 

Jack started fucking in earnest, his cock driving him to go deeper, deeper, to take, to claim. Daniel panted and hitched up, wanting more of it, wanting Jack to fuck him more. He grunted and really started snapping his hips forward. Slamming into the younger man. 

"Yes!" Daniel surged up and latched onto his mouth, hands pulling Jack's hair, gripping his shoulders, nails digging deeper and deeper into his back. Jack's toes curled. 

This had to be the hottest thing he'd ever seen. All the other stuff? Kid's play. 

He sped up, covering Daniel's body with his own and just undulating his hips to slide his cock over Daniel's sweet spot. 

"Uh! Oh… Yeah," Daniel mumbled, eyes closed, head moving from side to side as Jack pleasured him. 

He made damn sure Daniel could rub up against his belly – not wanting to neglect the other man's slender prick. "God, you're… gorgeous… like this," Jack growled in Daniel's ear, sucking on the lobe as he pushed Daniel flat to the floor. 

Jack sat back a bit, resting his weight on his knees – not even minding the pain – and encouraged Daniel to plant his feet on the floor and lift up. He held Daniel's hips up as he drilled into the man's ass, and then wrapped his hand around Daniel's cock and pumped in time with his thrusts. Daniel's hands flailed for a bit, then gripped the lip of the tub and pushed up, so Jack could feel it more, so he could give Jack every inch. 

He fucked, and fucked, and _fucked_ into Daniel, nothing had ever felt this good, unable to even contemplate stopping or slowing down now – Daniel moaning and gasping, skin stretched taut over his ribs, labored breathing and sexy little groans – and Jack couldn't take it anymore. 

Lifted Daniel up onto his lap, pushed them up against the tub. 

"Ah!" Daniel cried, in pain _and_ pleasure, as he took the entire breadth of Jack's cock. Jack thrust his hips up, again and again, bouncing Daniel against the tub's wall, loving it when Daniel's arms wrapped around his shoulders and the younger man nuzzled him. 

"Yes, Jack, yes, Jack, yes…." Over and over. 

Daniel came without any warning, hot, slick seed splashing over Jack, the walls of Daniel's anus clamping around him so tightly he saw spots at the edge of his vision. Just a few seconds more, Jack slamming home, the younger man rocking in the wake of his force, and then he burst inside Daniel with a heartfelt cry. 

The younger man collapsed back, struggling for air, half-pouring into the tub. Jack pulled Daniel closer, rolled over on his back – yes, his knees hurt now but he didn't give a fuck – and let Daniel just melt overtop of him. He held on. Tight. 

Daniel was hyperventilating. He shuddered and gasped for a long time while Jack just held him still, ran a weak hand up and down his back. 

The bathmat was slightly worse for the wear. 

They were sticky and clammy and totally spent. 

Eventually Daniel calmed down, breathing heavily but quietly against Jack. He petted Daniel's hair, pushing the wet strands back from Daniel's red forehead and ears. "You okay?" 

And he meant that in every way. 

Daniel nodded against him, exhausted. Mumbled something. Jack was too tired to even ask him to repeat. 

After a few minutes, he rolled Daniel over to the mat and got up – legs like Jello, and turned on the faucet. Warm water gushed out. Held his fingers under the stream until it was the temperature Daniel liked, and then pulled the younger man into the tub. 

Jack didn't have the energy to be languorous about it and Daniel looked half out of it anyway. He washed them, using gentle touches; was sure to clean Daniel thoroughly, smiling at how Daniel was not the least bit shy about it – probably too tired from having his brains fucked out. 

"You all right?" he asked softly again, cupping water and bringing it over Daniel's shivering chest. 

Daniel leaned over and kissed him softly. For a long time. It was a sweet kiss. The kind given a high school sweetheart. Jack let him have his way; just ran his hands over any part of the man he could reach. 

It had been so long. They'd been dancing around each other for so long, to finally come together like this — 

Daniel shook a bit, got up, and stepped out of the tub. He toweled off as Jack let the water drain. Then he began rubbing Jack down, drying him silently… submissively. No, not submissively… with reverence. 

Jack just watched him do this, feeling happier than he could remember in a long, long time. 

He took the towel and ran it through Daniel's long hair, laughing. "This has got to be a nuisance at times," he murmured, tenderly running his fingers through the wet strands. 

Daniel shrugged. "Habit, to keep it long. Not very military, huh?" 

He didn't care. He loved Daniel right down to the last follicle, schmoopy, sappy, insane old man that he was. Jack dropped the towel and brought them closer together, touching foreheads. "Come to bed with me?" 

"Of course," Daniel said immediately. Like it was never in question – like they hadn't just spent months not sleeping well because they had been alone. Like they hadn't just spent weeks dancing around each other in endlessly repeating circles, the tension and the trust constantly being recalibrated. 

Daniel, heat-seeking missile that he was, crawled into bed right away. Jack waited for a second, switched off the light, and then crawled on top of Daniel. Something sharp and hard on his stomach – oh, Daniel's watch. Still wearing it. Good. 

The younger man brought up the blankets around them and sighed. 

They kissed. Jack was very slow and methodical about it. He'd missed kissing and touching Daniel more than he'd missing anything in his whole life, except maybe hanging out with Charlie. He wasn't about to let up any time soon. 

Daniel gave him a little half-smile. "You're making out with me like the world is ending. There'll still be tomorrow, you know." 

And Jack had to hide his sadness. Because he didn't own tomorrow with Daniel. Never did. Never would. Tomorrow might bring Sha're. Tomorrow might bright death on the other side of the universe. Tomorrow might bring the inevitable court-martial. He had tonight. And he wasn't giving it up. 

He just kept kissing Daniel – every part he could think to kiss. The bridge of his nose. His temple. The place where shoulder met neck. Every freckle, every scar. Behind the earlobe. And the mouth. That full, lush, gorgeous mouth. There, he feasted. 

Daniel sighed and obliged him, getting sleepier and sleepier. "You charming son of a bitch," he whispered into the darkness. 

One final kiss, okay, one more final kiss after that, and then Jack rolled to his back. Extended his arm and Daniel was there in a heartbeat, flush up against his side, head tucked under Jack's chin. 

"Happy birthday, Daniel," he said as an afterthought. 

Could feel Daniel's smile against his throat. Drifting off into sleep; he could always tell when Daniel was on the edge of sleep — something about the rhythm of his whole body changed. 

"Home," the young man murmured. 

Jack's chest swelled. He opened his mouth, but Daniel was gone, lost to dreams now. He stared at the dark ceiling. Listened to Daniel breathe. Felt the man's heart beating slow and steady against his own ribcage. 

And there in the dark, silent tears slid down the side of his face. Home, at last. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to Spyderqueen, Kristin, Stephicozar, Saladscream and Thalassa for their help beta'ing and making art!
> 
> At present, I am no longer much into the Stargate fandom and do not have plans to continue the Simpatico series. I'm focusing on getting my original work published and with my day job as demanding as it is, I don't have enough time and energy to dedicate the kind of commitment the story requires to do all 10 seasons. I really appreciate all the people who have been kind enough to follow this fan work and send encouraging feedback. Thank you for understanding. 
> 
> Lots of love, Roo  
> 12/30/05


End file.
